05 Examplesstudentwriting 2012 Sign-Off_nolabel

8/10/2019 05 Examplesstudentwriting 2012 Sign-Off_nolabel

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Examples of the

Standards for

Students Writing 2012

EnglishLanguage Arts

Grade 3

Narrative Writing


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Contacts

Learner Assessment Achievement Testing Unit

Phone 780-427-0010OR toll-free 310-0000, then dial or ask for 780-427-0010

FAX 780-422-4474

Email Addresses

Director Ken Marcellus [email protected] Manager Deanna Wiens [email protected] Julia Lee-Schuppli [email protected]

Other Information

Do you need information on the Achievement Testing Program?

Follow these steps for easy access to our website:

Step 1: Type education.alberta.caStep 2: Click on the tab labelled TeachersStep 3: Scroll down toAdditional Programs and ServicesStep 4: Click on Provincial TestingStep 5: Scroll down toAchievement Testsand click on it

On theAchievement Testsweb page, there is a specific link to Subject Bulletinsthat providesstudents and teachers with information about the achievement tests scheduled for the currentschool year. Please share the contents of the Grade 3 English Language Arts Subject Bulletinparticularly the sample questions, writing assignments, and scoring criteriawith your students.

There is a specific link on this web page toExamples of the Standards for Students Writing.These documents contain examples of student writing that meets or exceeds the acceptablestandardfor student achievement on Part A: Writingof the 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, and 2012Grade 3 English Language Arts achievement tests. These samples are intended to be used toenhance students writing and to assist teachers in assessing student writing relative to thestandards embedded in the scoring criteria in the scoring guides. TheAdditional Resourceslinkwill enable you to access the one-page version of the Grade 3 English Language Arts (Narrative)Scoring Guide.

Copyright 2013, the Crown in Right of Alberta, as represented by the Minister of Education, AlbertaEducation, Assessment Sector, 44 Capital Boulevard, 10044 108 Street NW, Edmonton, Alberta T5J 5E6,and its licensors. All rights reserved.

Special permissionis granted to Alberta educators onlyto reproduce, for educational purposes and ona non-profit basis, parts of this document that do not contain excerpted material.

Excerpted material in this document shall not be reproduced without the written permission of the originalpublisher (see credits, where applicable).


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Table of Contents

Introduction ..........................................................................................................................1

Maintaining Consistent Standards .......................................................................................2

Local Marking ......................................................................................................................3Scoring .................................................................................................................................4

Scoring Guides .....................................................................................................................5

Part A: WritingDescription and Instructions ..................................................................10

Narrative Writing Assignment ...........................................................................................11

Student ExemplarSatisfactory (A) .................................................................................12

Rationale for Student ExemplarSatisfactory (A) ...........................................................14

Student ExemplarSatisfactory (B) .................................................................................15

Rationale for Student ExemplarSatisfactory (B) ...........................................................19

Student ExemplarSatisfactory (C) .................................................................................20

Rationale for Student ExemplarSatisfactory (C) ...........................................................23

Student ExemplarSatisfactory (D) .................................................................................24

Rationale for Student ExemplarSatisfactory (D) ...........................................................27

Student ExemplarSatisfactory (E) ..................................................................................28

Rationale for Student ExemplarSatisfactory (E) ............................................................31

Student ExemplarProficient (A) .....................................................................................32

Rationale for Student ExemplarProficient (A) ...............................................................35

Student ExemplarProficient (B) .....................................................................................36Rationale for Student ExemplarProficient (B) ...............................................................40

Student ExemplarExcellent ............................................................................................41

Rationale for Student ExemplarExcellent ......................................................................45


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1

Introduction

To provide each paper with the most accurate and impartial judgment possible, use onlythe scoring criteria and the standards set by the Exemplars and Rationales. Each studentis a person trying to do his or her very best. All students are completely reliant on yourcareful, professional consideration of their work.

Markers are responsible for

reviewing and internalizing the scoring criteria and applying them to student writing

applying the scoring criteria impartially, independently, and consistently to allpapers

refraining from marking a response if personal biasessuch as the studentshandwriting, development of topic, idiosyncrasies of voice, and/or political or religiouspreferenceinterfere with an impartial judgment of the response

ensuring that every paper is scored fairly according to the scoring criteria in accordance with the standards reflected in the Exemplars and Rationales

The scores awarded to student papers must be based solely on the scoring criteriaand reference to the Exemplars and Rationales. Fairness to all students is the mostimportant requirement of the marking process.

Please feel free to contact one of the Achievement Testing Program members to discussany questions or concerns.


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Maintaining Consistent Standards

For all achievement test scoring sessions, working groups of teachers for ExemplarSelection, Exemplar Validation, and Standards Confirmation are used to establishexpectations for student work in relation to the scoring criteria and to ensure that scoringis consistent within and between marking sessions. These working groups ensure thatmarks are valid, reliable, and fair measures of student achievement.

Exemplar Selection Working GroupExemplars are selections of student work, taken from field tests, that best illustrate thescoring criteria. The Exemplar Selection Working Group is composed of experiencedteachers from various regions of the province. Working-group members read a largesample of students written responses to the picture prompt and select responses thatbest match the standards established in the Exemplars and Rationales from the previousmarking session. The working group then writes rationales that explain the relationshipbetween each Exemplar and the scoring criteria in each scoring category.

Exemplar Validation Working GroupThe Exemplar Validation Working Group is composed of experienced teachers fromvarious provincial regions, and it reviews and approves the Exemplars and Rationalesthat have been prepared for markers. The working group ensures that the Rationalesaccurately reflect the descriptors in the Scoring Guide and verifies that appropriate andaccurate references have been made to student work. Working-group members also striveto ensure that there is clarity within the Rationales.

Standards Confirmation Working GroupTeachers from throughout the province who serve on the Standards ConfirmationWorking Group read a large sample of students written responses to confirm theappropriateness of the standards set by the Exemplars selected from the field tests when

compared with actual student work on the Achievement Test. The working-group ensuresthat the Exemplars and Rationales are appropriate for central marking, and working groupmembers also select student responses that are to be used for daily Reliability Reviews.Once a day, all markers score a copy of the same paper so that inter-rater reliability ismaintained. Reliability Reviews confirm that all markers are consistently awarding scoresthat accurately reflect the standards embedded in the scoring criteria.

Working Groups for Exemplar Selection, Exemplar Validation, and StandardsConfirmation are part of a complex set of processes that have evolved over the yearsof achievement test administration. They are crucial to ensuring that standards areconsistently and fairly applied to student work.


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Local Marking

Classroom teachers can mark students writing using the scoring guides in this documentbefore returning the tests to Alberta Education. All papers are marked centrally inEdmonton in July.

To support local marking, Exemplars of students writing and the correspondingRationales in this document exemplify the scoring criteria. These Exemplars are not to beshared with studentsand must be returned to Alberta Educationwith the tests.

Scores awarded locally can be submitted to Alberta Education and will be used as thefirst reading of a students response. Local markers are to use the For Teacher Use Onlysection on the back of the Part A: Writingtest booklet to record their scores by filling inthe appropriate circles. The School Codeand Accommodations Usedsections shouldalso be completed. If a teacher wants to know how locally awarded scores comparewith the scores the tests receive when marked centrally, he or she must also fill in theID Number. Each teacher creates and then records a personal ID number in the area

provided on the back of each students booklet. No two teachers from the same schoolshould use the same ID number. No other marks are to be made on the test booklet by theteacher.

Tests are to be returned to Alberta Education according to the scheduling informationin the online General Information Bulletin. The tests will then be marked centrally byAlberta Education as the second reading. Both sets of scores are used when calculatingeach students final mark. In the case of a discrepancy between these two sets of scores,papers will be adjudicated by a third reading, which will determine the final scores thata paper is awarded. In this way, valid and reliable individual and group results can bereported. Papers that are not marked locallyby teachers will be marked centrally onlyonce.

After central marking has been completed and school reports have been sent tothe schools, teachers who submitted their scores with an ID number will receive aconfidential report on their marking. This report is called the Local Marker Reportandincludes the locally awarded scores, third-read scores if applicable, and the final scoresassigned.

Teachers may make photocopies of students writing from only the EnglishLanguage ArtsPart A: Writingtests for inclusion in portfolios of the years work.Copies can be made for parents who request them.


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Scoring

To determine a students mark, convert the word descriptors to the following numericvalues:

Excellent = 5Proficient = 4Satisfactory = 3Limited = 2Poor = 1

Use the following information to assign the score for each students test.

1. Assign a score of 1 to 5 for each of content, organization, sentencestructure,vocabulary, and conventions.

2. Multiply the scores for contentand organizationby 2, as these categories are worthtwice as much as the other categories.

Maximum score possible for Narrative Writing = 35

The mark for Part A: Writingis worth 50% of the total mark for the Grade 3 EnglishLanguage Arts Achievement Test

Teachers may make a photocopy of a students writing from the English LanguageArtsPart A: Writingtest for inclusion in a portfolio of the years work. Copies canalso be made for parents who request them.


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Scoring Guides

Content

Focus

When marking Contentappropriate for Grade 3 writing, the marker should consider howeffectively the writer

establishes the relationship between events, actions, and the context (situation) uses specific details demonstrates the reader/writer relationship (voice)

Excellent

E

Events, actions, and/or ideas are creative and are consistent withthe context established by the writer.

Details are precise and consistently effective. The writing is confident, holds the readers interest, and presents a

well-supported main idea.

Proficient

Pf

Events, actions, and/or ideas are intentionally chosen and areappropriate for the context established by the writer.

Details are specific and usually effective. The writing is purposeful, draws the readers interest, and presents

a supported main idea.

Satisfactory

S

Events, actions, and/or ideas are generally appropriate for thecontext established by the writer.

Details are general and may be predictable but are appropriate. The writing is straightforward and generally holds the readers

interest, and provides some support for a main idea.

Limited

L

Events, actions, and/or ideas are vague and may not be appropriatefor the context established by the writer.

Details are few and/or may be repetitive. The writing is ambiguous, it does not hold the readers interest,

and the main idea is inadequately developed.

Poor

P

Events, actions, and/or ideas are undeveloped and/orinappropriate.

Details are scant. The writing is confusing and/or frustrating for the reader, and a

main idea is lacking.

Insufficient

INS

The marker can discern no evidence of an attempt to fulfill the

assignment, or the writing is so deficient in length that it is notpossible to assess Content.

Note: Contentand Organizationare weighted to be worth twice as much as each ofthe other categories.


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Organization

Focus

When marking Organizationappropriate for Grade 3 writing, the marker should considerhow effectively the writer

introduces the response establishes the connections and/or relationships between events, actions, details, and/or

characters brings closure to the writing

Excellent

E

The beginning is purposeful and effectively establishes events,characters, and/or setting, and provides direction for the writing.

Connections and/or relationships between events, actions, details,

and/or characters are developed and consistently maintained. The ending effectively ties events and/or actions together.

Proficient

Pf

The beginning clearly establishes events, characters, and/orsetting, and provides direction for the writing.

Connections and/or relationships between events, actions, details,and/or characters are usually maintained.

The ending clearly provides an appropriate finish for events and/or actions.

Satisfactory

S

The beginning directly presents information about events,characters, and/or setting.

Connections and/or relationships between events, actions, details,

and/or characters are generally maintained. The ending is predictable and/or may be contrived but isconnected to events and/or actions.

Limited

L

The beginning presents information about events, characters, and/or setting but lacks direction.

Connections and/or relationships between events, actions, details,and/or characters are unclear or inconsistent.

The ending is predictable and/or contrived.

Poor

P

The beginning provides little information and/or is ineffective. Connections and/or relationships between events, actions, details,

and/or characters are missing. The ending, if present, is unconnected to the events and/or actions.

Insufficient

INS

The writing has been awarded an INS for Content.



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Sentence Structure

Focus

When marking Sentence Structureappropriate for Grade 3 writing, the marker shouldconsider how effectively the writer

controls sentence structure uses different sentence patterns and lengths uses a variety of sentence beginnings

Length and complexity of response must be considered.

Excellent

E

Sentence structure is consistently controlled. Sentence type and length are varied and effective.

Sentence beginnings are consistently varied.

Proficient

Pf

Sentence structure is usually controlled. Sentence type and length are usually varied and effective. Sentence beginnings are often varied.

Satisfactory

S

Sentence structure is generally controlled but may occasionallyimpede the meaning.

Sentences may vary in type and length. Some variety of sentence beginnings is evident.

Limited

L

Sentence structure is sometimes lacking control, and this oftenimpedes meaning.

There is little variation in sentence type and/or length. There is little variety of sentence beginnings.

Poor

P

Thought units are difficult to recognize, and this severely impedesthe meaning.

There is no variation in sentence type and/or length. There is no variety of sentence beginnings.

Insufficient

INS




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Vocabulary

Focus

When marking Vocabularyappropriate for Grade 3 writing, the marker should consider theextent to which the writer uses

words appropriately expressions effectively words and expressions together to enhance the writing


Excellent

E

Well-chosen words are used effectively. Expressions are consistently precise and effective.

Words and expressions are used to create vivid images andconsistently enhance the writing.

Proficient

Pf

Well-chosen words are often used. Expressions are usually specific and effective. Words and expressions are descriptive and often enhance the

writing.

Satisfactory

S

Words chosen tend to be common or ordinary. Expressions are usually more general than specific. Words and expressions sometimes enhance the writing.

Limited

L

Words used indicate a lack of vocabulary.

Expressions are simplistic and/or ineffective. Words and expressions are basic and/or may detract from the

writing.

Poor

P

Words chosen are sometimes inappropriate and/or misused. Expressions are misused or missing. Words and expressions are simple and/or inadequate.

Insufficient

INS




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Conventions

Focus

When marking Conventionsappropriate for Grade 3 writing, the marker should consider theextent to which the writer

uses end punctuation and capitalization controls spelling controls the usage of language and the clarity of communication

Proportion of error to length and complexity of response must be considered.

Excellent

E

End punctuation and capitalization are essentially correct. Most words, familiar and unfamiliar, are spelled correctly;

spelling errors are understandable slips. Errors that are present do not affect the clarity or effectiveness of

communication.

Proficient

Pf

End punctuation and capitalization are usually correct. Most familiar words are spelled correctly; spelling errors are

slips; unfamiliar words may be spelled phonetically. Errors that are present rarely affect the clarity of communication.

Satisfactory

S

Conventional end punctuation and capitalization are generallycorrect.

Many familiar words are spelled correctly; errors suggest unevencontrol of spelling rules; unfamiliar words are generally spelled

phonetically. Errors are sometimes intrusive and may affect the clarity ofcommunication.

Limited

L

End punctuation and capitalization, when present, are inconsistent. Many familiar words are misspelled and/or spelled phonetically. Errors interfere with the clarity of communication.

Poor

P

There is little, if any, evidence that the writer understands correctuse of end punctuation and capitalization.

Words may be difficult to discern and are generally spelledphonetically.

Communication is not clear.

Insufficient

INS




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Part A: WritingDescription and Instructions

2012

Grade 3 Achievement Test

English Language Arts

Part A: Writing

Description

For this test, you will have 10 minutes for discussion and 60 minutes forplanning and writing. You may take up to 30 extra minutes to completethe test if you need more time.

Instructions

Follow along as your teacher reads aloud the instructions on page 1.

Talk with your classmates about the picture in groups of two to four,or think about it by yourself. During this time, you may record your ideason page 2.

Plan your writing on page 2 in whichever way you choose (web, list,pictures, etc.).

Print or write your best storyas neatly as you can. Begin on page 3.

When you have finished, check your work carefullyand make anynecessary changes.

You may use your personal dictionary and/or a wall of words posted inyour classroom.

You may use a published dictionary and a thesaurus.

You do not have to fill all the pages with writing. If you need more pages,ask your teacher.

Additional Instructions for Students Using Word Processors

Format your work using an easy-to-read12-point or larger font such as

Times. Double-space your final copy.

Staple your final printed work to the page indicated for word-processedwork.


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Narrative Writing Assignment

Look carefully at the picture.

Using the picture, write a story.

When writing your story, be sure to

usethe picture

consideryour audience

focuson your purpose

organizeyour ideas

usevocabulary that is interesting and descriptive

IllustrationR

obertPapp/www.k

idshannon.com


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Student ExemplarSatisfactory (A)

Illustration Robert Papp/www.kidshannon.com


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Student ExemplarSatisfactory (A)


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Rationale for Student ExemplarSatisfactory (A)

Title of Paper: Avencherinaferca

Reporting Category

S

Content

S Events, actions, and ideasare generally appropriatefor the contextestablished bythe writer (on his way to school a boy sees a zebra, helps it by feeding it grass, andtakes a picture of it).

L Detailsare few(ran to school, tring to save him, and eating the gass).

S The writingis straightforwardand generallyholds the readers interest andprovides some supportfor a main idea.

S

Organization

S The beginning directly presents informationabout events, characters, and setting (alittle boy walks home to get his camera and then goes to school).

L Connectionsand relationships between events, actions, details, and characters areunclearor inconsistent(the boy takes a picture of the zebra but then the zebra is tooinjured for a picture).

S The endingis predictablebut is connectedto events and actions (the zebra feltbeder the boy had to let him go).

L

Sentence Structure

S Sentence structureis generally controlled.

L There is little variationin sentence typeand length.

L There is little varietyof sentence beginnings(When, He, and The).


S

Vocabulary

S Wordschosen tend to be commonor ordinary(school, save, and eating).

S Expressionsare usuallymore generalthan specific (Once thare was, and Whenethe years past).

S Wordsand expressions sometimes enhancethe writing (laying in the grass andGrass so he went to get fresh grass).

L

Conventions

S Conventional end punctuationand capitalizationare generally correct.

L Many familiar wordsare misspelledor spelled phonetically(thare for there,dun for done, and tuke for took).

L Errors interferewith clarityof communication (waking home and to ingerd).



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Student ExemplarSatisfactory (B)



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Rationale for Student ExemplarSatisfactory (B)

Title of Paper: The animal king!

Reporting Category

S

Content

S Events, actions, and ideasare generally appropriatefor the contextestablished by thewriter (Jake goes on trip to Africa, sees lots of animals, meets a zebra, his parents disappear,plays with animals, and becomes king of the jungle).

S Detailsare generaland may be predictablebut are appropriate(saw a lion, had apiknike, playde lost of games, and dride of in the sun).

S The writingis straightforwardand generallyholds the readers interest and provides somesupportfor a main idea(Jake sees lots of animals while he is with his family, after hisparents leave he plays with the animals and becomes their king).

S

Organization

S The beginning directly presents informationabout events, characters, and setting (Oneday Jake and his family went on a trpe to Afrika).

S Connectionsand relationships between events, actions, details, and characters are generallymaintained(befor he said wow his parints left! Jake saw a waterfall he thote he mite aswell have a litle fun, and animals started to join in).

S The endingis predictablebut is connectedto events and actions (all of the animalsdissided to make him king of the jungle and they became a family of ther wone).

S

Sentence Structure

S Sentence structureis generally controlledbut may occasionally impede the meaning (somerun-on sentences).

S Sentences may varyin typeand length(They evin saw chitas and Jake went looking forthem but he didnt finde them).

S Some varietyof sentence beginningsis evident (They, When Jake, and After that).

S

Vocabulary

S Wordschosen tend to be commonor ordinary(went, lots, and family).

S Expressionsare usuallymore generalthan specific (all of a sudin, WOW, and miteas well).

S Wordsand expressions sometimes enhancethe writing (hole buch and toke a litlesiwmme).

S

Conventions

S Conventional end punctuation andcapitalization aregenerally correct.

L Many familiar wordsare misspelledor spelled phonetically(evin for even, whentfor went, and gose for goes).

S Errorsare sometimes intrusiveand may affectthe clarityof communication (dride offor dried off and ther wone for their own).


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Student ExemplarSatisfactory (C)



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Rationale for Student ExemplarSatisfactory (C)

Title of Paper: The Magicl Pen

Reporting Category

S

Content

S Events, actions, and ideasare generally appropriatefor the contextestablished bythe writer (Josh finds a magic pen, draws Africa and goes there, stares at a zebra,hears mom calling, returns home, and gives the pen to his mom).

S Detailsare generaland may be predictablebut are appropriate(a pen from hismagic set, started taking pictures, and erased the sun).

Pf The writingis purposeful, draws the readers interest and presents a supportedmain idea(Josh travels to Africa using a magical pen, encounters a problem, solves itby using his eraser, and then draws himself home).

Pf

Organization

Pf The beginning clearly establishesevents, characters, and setting, and providesdirectionfor the writing (a magical pen is described and Josh uses the pen to get toAfrica).

Pf Connectionsand relationships between events, actions, details, and characters areusually maintained(the magic pen and eraser are used to connect the events andcharacters throughout the response).

S The endingis somewhat contrivedbut is connectedto events and actions (Joshgave her the pen and said draw it. so she did and now she was in Math Land).

S

Sentence Structure

S Sentence structureis generally controlled.

S Sentences mayvaryin typeand length(On the other side thire was a warninngand Josh was in africa).

S Some varietyof sentence beginningsis evident (One day, He looked at, andSo).

S

Vocabulary

S Wordschosen tend to be commonor ordinary(picked, drew, and started).

S Expressionsare usuallymore generalthan specific (back in time and POOF!).

S Wordsand expressions sometimes enhancethe writing (Draw with this pen,staring at him, and erased the Sun).

S

Conventions

S Conventional end punctuationand capitalizationare generallycorrect.

S Many familiar wordsare spelled correctly; unfamiliar wordsare generallyspelled phonetically(thire for there, camra for camera, and rememberdfor remembered).

Pf Errorsthat are present rarely affectthe clarityof communication.


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Student ExemplarSatisfactory (D)



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Rationale for Student ExemplarSatisfactory (D)

Title of Paper: Lets go to Africa!

Reporting Category

S

Content

Pf Events, actions, and ideasare intentionally chosenand are appropriatefor the contextestablished by the writer (Joes parents argue about where to go for vacation, Joe suggestsAfrica, they agree and they arrive using a variety of modes of transportation, after settling inat their hotel, they go in search of a zebra which they eventually see).

S Detailsare generaland may be predictablebut are appropriate(3 buses, 2 cabs, and 2airplanes, all 3 of them ate dinner, and Joe walked up to the zebra).

S The writingis straightforwardand generally holds the readers interest, and provides somesupportfor a main idea(After describing a long journey to Africa, Joe finally sees the zebrajust as the sun sets).

Pf

OrganizationS The beginningdirectly presents informationabout events, characters, and setting. (Joe has

no brothers or sisters, the family books a vacation to Africa and quickly packs).

Pf Connectionsand relationships between events, actions, details, and characters are usuallymaintained(A series of specific events lead Joe and his family to the highlight of theiradventure).

Pf The endingclearly provides an appropriate finishfor events and actions (A zebra finallyappears, Joe sneezes as he approaches it and frightens it away, Joe goes home and goes tobed).

Pf

Sentence Structure

Pf Sentence structureis usually controlled.

Pf Sentence typeand lengthare usually variedand effective(They both agreed, So they gotthere binoclers, and went to sertch, and Right when Joe open his eyes, zoooooooom!).

Pf Sentence beginningsare often varied(He only, After it was sunset, Then! There!, andAt that very moment).

S

Vocabulary

S Wordschosen tend to be commonor ordinary(agreed, quickly packed, and sunset).

Pf Expressionsare usually specificand effective(RUSH!, HURRY!, Achooo!, and likea rocket).

S Wordsand expressions sometimes enhancethe writing (get some energy, an alive

zebra, and almost gave up).

Pf

Conventions

Pf End punctuationand capitalizationare usually correct.

Pf Most familiar wordsare spelled correctly, spelling errors are slips (siad, for said,tommorow for tomorrow, and atlest for at least); unfamiliar wordsmay be spelledphonetically(sertch for search and appered for appeared).



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Student ExemplarSatisfactory (E)



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Rationale for Student ExemplarSatisfactory (E)

Title of Paper: A Journy Through Africa

Reporting Category

S

Content

S Events, actions, and ideasare generally appropriatefor the contextestablished by thewriter (Austin meets a zebra, they are chased by a lion and a cheetah, they find safety in atree house and then go home).

S Detailsare generaland may be predictablebut are appropriate(Austin went up to thezebra and patted him on the head, he hid in the green grass, and So they walked home).

S The writingis straightforwardand generallyholds the readers interest and provides somesupportfor a main idea(Austin went up to the zebra, I am going to name you sunshine,The lion started chasing him and sunshine, and I think we will be safe here).

S

Organization

S The beginning directly presents informationabout events, characters, and setting (Goodmorning said Austins mom and After Austin ate his breakfest he got his safri gear on).

S Connectionsand relationships between events, actions, details, and characters are generallymaintained(Austin dresses for a safari, meets the zebra, names it Sunshine, takes it on asafari, they get chased by a lion and a cheetah but they get away).

S Theendingis predictablebut is connectedto events and actions (And Austin had to saygoodbye to sunshine and he would come visit tomorrow).

Pf

Sentence Structure


Pf Sentence type and length are usually variedand effective(By mom he said, It was a big

black and white zebra with beatful blue eyes, and They saw lizards, parrots and geckos).S Some varietyof sentence beginningsis evident (Good, They, Until, and But).

Pf

Vocabulary

S Wordschosen tend to be commonor ordinary(excitemint, beatful, and chasing).

Pf Expressionsare usually specificand effective(by hunny, face lit up, Wwhat, andreally really long).

Pf Wordsand expressionsare descriptiveand often enhancethe writing (velvet blackcamra, long strip of green grass, and angry feroucios lion).

Pf

Conventions

S Conventional end punctuationand capitalizationare generally correct.Pf Most familiar wordsare spelled correctly; spelling errors are slips (rememberd for

remembered, hunny for honey); unfamiliar words may be spelled phonetically(feroucios for ferocious and climed for climbed).



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Student ExemplarProficient (A)



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Rationale for Student ExemplarProficient (A)

Title of Paper: The Search For The Sunset Zebra

Reporting Category

Pf

Content

Pf Events, actions, and ideasare intentionally chosenand are appropriatefor thecontext established by the writer (Timmy goes to the jungle to search for the sunsetzebra, he finds a herd of zebras and takes pictures, finally he finds the sunset zebra).

Pf Detailsare specificand usually effective(begged to his parents, walking throughthe tall, thick grass, jumped across streams, and found a huge heardofzebras!).

Pf The writingis purposeful, draws the readers interest and presents a supportedmain idea.

Pf

Organization

Pf The beginning clearly establishesevents, characters, and setting, and providesdirectionfor the writing (Timmy loved zebras, Can I please go to the jungle, andfind the sunset zebra).

Pf Connectionsand relationships between events, actions, details, and characters areusually maintained(Timmy searches for the sunset zebra, he finds a herd of zebrasand takes their pictures, as the sun goes down the sunset zebra appears and takes thecamera and tries to take a picture of itself).

Pf The endingclearly provides an appropriate finishfor events and actions (Timmytakes back the camera and takes a perfect picture of the sunset zebra).

Pf

Sentence Structure


Pf Sentence typeand lengthare usually variedand effective(Why?, thatsinteresting, Timmys mom said with a smile, and Then Timmy looked at it andsmiled).

Pf Sentence beginningsare often varied(because, I---I want, Timmys big sister,and Suddenly).

Pf

Vocabulary

Pf Well-chosen wordsare often used (begged, chuckled, tripped over, andducked under).

Pf Expressionsare usually specificand effective(a couple times, out of nowhere,and something in the distance).

Pf Wordsand expressionsare descriptiveand often enhancethe writing (scratchedhis head, you never heard of it?, tall, thick grass, and did a little dance).

E

Conventions


E Most words, familiar and unfamiliar, are spelled correctly; spelling errors areunderstandable slips (heard for herd and serch for search).

E Errorsthat are present do notaffectthe clarityor effectiveness of communication.


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Student ExemplarProficient (B)



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Rationale for Student ExemplarProficient (B)

Title of Paper: The Lost Camera.

Reporting Category

E

Content

E Events, actions, and ideasare creativeand are consistent with the contextestablished by the writer (Kevin takes pictures of his favourite animals, loses hiscamera, asks various animals for help and puts up signs, finally a zebra lifts his headand he has Kevins camera).

E Detailsare preciseand consistently effective(got into his favorite safari outfit, azebra zoomed by, and he tried to think of an idea).

Pf The writingis purposeful, draws the readers interest and presents a supportedmain idea.

Pf

Organization

Pf The beginning clearly establishesevents, characters, and setting, and providesdirectionfor the writing (Kevin wakes up, dresses in his safari clothes, eats breakfast,and goes to where the animals live).

Pf Connectionsand relationships between events, actions, details, and characters areusually maintained.

Pf The endingclearly provides an appropriate finishfor events and actions (A zebrareturns the camera and Kevin feels sooo happy!).

Pf

Sentence Structure


Pf Sentence typeand lengthare usually variedand effective(Munch, munch,

munch!, He waited even longer and still nothing, and The zebra lifted up his headand he had Kevins camera!).

S Some varietyof sentence beginningsis evident (It was time, Then suddenly, andOnce he stoped).

Pf

Vocabulary

Pf Well-chosenwordsare often used (marched, tip-toed down, zoomed, andgrabbed).

Pf Expressionsare usually specificand effective(as fast as he could, he figuredthat, and on top of the world).

E Wordsand expressionsare used to create vivid imagesand consistently enhance

the writing (Beep, beep, beep, Click, started to cry and cry and cry, handed outa couple flyers, and going to be grounded forever).

Pf

Conventions


Pf Most familiar wordsare spelled correctly; spelling errors are slips (stoped forstopped and probley for probably); unfamiliar words are spelled phonetically(neather for neither and awnser for answer).

E Errorsthat are present do not affectthe clarityor effectiveness of communication.


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Student ExemplarExcellent



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Rationale for Student ExemplarExcellent

Title of Paper: Flasher

Reporting Category

E

Content

E Events, actions, and ideasare creative and are consistentwith the contextestablished by the writer (Jonathan finds a zebra, takes him home, goes for a ride,discovers a herd of zebras, and his zebra joins the herd).

E Detailsare preciseand consistently effective(cool air swirled around him,jumped onto his makeshift bed of grass and leaves, and a black and white flash).

E The writingis confident, holds the readers interest and presents a well-supportedmain idea.

E

Organization

E The beginningis purposefuland effectively establishesevents, characters, and

setting, and provides directionfor the writing (Jonathan investigates a sound, comesface to face with a zebra, and runs away).

E Connectionsand relationships between events (Jonathan realizes the zebra is sad andlost, he cares for him, then Jonathan reunites him with the other zebras), actions(dropped his binoculars and zebra trotting back and forth trying to get out),details (put the zebra in his backyard and Im guessing you want to get out), andcharacters (Jonathan empathizes with the zebra and realizes the zebra needs to returnto the wild) are developedand consistently maintained.

Pf The endingclearly provides an appropriate finishfor events and actions (Well, Iguess this is goodbye and He walked down the dirt path knowing that he wouldnever forget Flasher).

E

Sentence StructureE Sentence structureis consistently controlled.

E Sentence typeand lengthare variedand effective(Aaahh!, This time, he didntscream, and Youre lost, arent you. Jonathan whispered calmly).

E Sentence beginningsare consistently varied(The next morning, Soon enough,and Slow down).

E

Vocabulary

E Well-chosenwords are used effectively(peered, swirled, and gradually).

E Expressionsare consistently preciseand effective(as fast as he could, dozingoff, and every so often).

E Wordsand expressionsare used to create vivid imagesand consistently enhancethe writing (Rustle, Rustle!, cloudy and sad, and grass swayed in the wind).

E

Conventions

E End punctuationand capitalizationare essentially correct.

E Most words, familiar and unfamiliar, are spelled correctly; spelling errors areunderstandable slips (to for too and butiful for beautiful).

E Errorsthat are present do not affectthe clarityor effectiveness of communication.


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Documents

05 Examplesstudentwriting 2012 Sign-Off_nolabel