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Exquisite Self-Care

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Video Transcript - September 2019scs society

© French Kiss Life Inc. 2019PAGE 2 OF 6

S E P T E M B E R 2 0 1 9

Exquisite Self-Care

So now it is time for your exquisite self-care challenge for this month. I am so, so excited for this, because again, I know what happens in a woman’s life when she finally gets to the point of, “You know what? I’m going to make myself number one. I am going to put me on the front burner of my life. I’m tired of being the victim. I’m tired of my own excuses. My energy, how I feel emotionally, spiritually, physically, mentally is the most important thing.” And I really do believe this. I believe how we feel is more important than anything outside of us because when we are in alignment with ourselves and our dreams and our desires, everything else out there begins to rearrange itself and things start to flow and a much more beautiful way, but we know what it’s like when we’re stressed and we’re tired and we’re fatigued and we’re saying yes to everything that we want to say no to, and we’re saying no to the things that we want to say yes to, which is why taking responsibility for our own self-care is your number one job.

It is your number one job. It’s more important than your business. It’s more important than your kids. It’s more important than your family. It’s more important than all of those things. And I know you may be hearing me and thinking, “Tonya, that’s selfish, that’s wrong,” but we addressed that in the class. Again, I think it’s selfish for you not to take care of you, because when you’re not taking care of you, you’re not showing up as the best mom, the best daughter, the best friend, the best wife, the best worker, which is why we’re going to create a plan for this month. We’re all going to do it together and we’re going to watch how creating our plan and sticking to it will change your life.

One of the things that I’ve noticed from running a company is that there are some important truths that relate to our self-care. And the first one is if it’s important, you schedule it. Yeah. If it’s important enough, you schedule it. Also, if you don’t plan it, it won’t happen. You plan things and then you schedule them. And then finally, the other important truth is you track what matters. We track so many other things. We have cute little calendars for our kids, they get stars. We probably keep spreadsheets at work, but are we tracking our own vitality, our own energy, how we feel? So it’s going to change this month.

So we’re going to go over how to create your exquisite self-care plan. And what I love about this, it’s a blend of feminine and masculine energy, right? The feminine energy is our need for self-nurturing, for space, for self-expression and creativity and play. And feminine energy is calling us to come back into harmony with ourselves.

Whereas masculine energy is all about focus, and clarity, and direction, and analytics. And to me the masculine energy is what helps us put plans into place to support our feminine energy.

Video Transcript - September 2019scs society

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And so by planning out your self-care, you’re honoring what your soul needs as a woman to fill fully alive with the masculine of getting it done. So here’s what we are going to do.

The first one is I want you to think about your plan and I want you to go back to the exercises that you did in the class. And what we’re going to do is think about it on a daily, a weekly and a monthly basis. And the best way for me to describe this is to just give you an example of what my exquisite self-care plan looks like. So on a daily basis, what I need in order to feel in harmony with myself and to take care of myself and to be on my A game is I need to journal. To me, that is my thinking time. And how many of you create space to think about your lives, to think about what you’re thinking about? Our thoughts are creating everything. And yet this is a part of our self-care that many, many people neglect. But I know for me personally and I’m speaking from my own personal experience and what’s on my plan, but when I have space to journal and to think, my life flows in a much more beautiful way.

When I sit down in the morning and I journal for my future self and she gives me all of the downloads of what I need to know and I get my thought house in order. My day is so much more fun. It’s so much more productive and it is a form of taking care of myself. So journal for me is nonnegotiable in the morning. 20 minutes of meditation. This goes along with the thinking time, but it’s me learning to watch my thoughts. It’s learning for me to be still and let the craziness happen and know how to quiet my mind over and over again. Now, I personally love the Muse headband. I’ve talked about it in one of the podcasts, but I do meditate 20 minutes every single morning.

Also supplements. It’s a way of me caring for myself. And again, supplements aren’t for everyone, but I know what my body needs and me taking my supplements every day is just a form of honoring myself and caring for myself. Music, again, remember self-care isn’t just exercising right and eating well. It’s also about doing things in your every day that gives you energy, it gives you a sense of wellbeing. And for me that’s music. So I always have music playing in the house, except when I’m doing videos.

I drink a minimum of 72 ounces of water every day, often much more because I believe that we need water. If you think about flowers, when they start to wilt, we give them a little water and they come alive again. We are a part of nature. We work the same way. And so I just know that when I’m well hydrated, I think more clearly, my skin looks better, I have more energy. And so for me, drinking water and lots of it, especially at the altitude that I live is super, super important for my self-care. Dressing beautifully is a part of my self-care plan. I feel better when I have a beautiful outfit on. Now when I’m working from home, I’m not walking around in high heels and you know, sequins. I want to be comfortable, but I also want to look in the mirror and be like, “Yeah, you care for yourself. You care enough for yourself to put effort into yourself when only you are going to see yourself.” And so that’s really important for me.

And then one of the things that I love doing every single morning is giving myself three

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compliments. This goes back to self-care sentences. I think about my daughter and how I care for her. One of the ways that I care for her is I focus on what I love about her and I tell her often, I encourage her and then I do that to myself by every single morning when I’m journaling, I give myself three compliments.

Next up is my afternoons. My afternoons are very simple because I’m working, but I do love to take time out to have a healthy lunch. And then usually around 4:00, 5:00 I’ll have a little tea break. I’ll take another time out. And to me it’s just that moment of pause in my day to remind me it’s okay to slow down. It’s okay to just enjoy your day even though you’re working and you have things that you need to get done. A little tea break is a perfect way to remind myself to enjoy the everyday and that’s a form of me taking care of myself. So that’s the afternoon.

And then the evenings, I love having a healthy dinner and that looks different all of the time. I’ll walk with my dogs either here from the house or I’ll take them down to the Lake. I have my whole facial routine that I do every night. I am obsessed with skincare and so it’s fun for me. It’s something that I really, really enjoy. And so I take time out every night to do something that’s caring for my skin as well as something that’s fun and enjoyable for me. I take my supplements for the evening. I always take a bath every single night. I love a good bath and so for me it’s just that moment to decompress. I’ll have beautiful music playing. Sometimes I’ll read a book in the bathtub, but I love my evening baths.

I also love to put lavender on my pillow to help me sleep better. I have a no phone rule at night, I like to turn my phone on airplane mode and just disconnect from that world. And then, again, reading a book. So as you can see, the way I see my self-care plan is I book into my day with exquisite self-care. Because in the middle of the day, like a lot of us, I’m working, I’m getting things done, but I have this belief and it’s working for me that if I’m doing exquisite self-care in the morning and exquisite self-care in the evening, it’s going to give me the energy to be my most productive during the day. So that is my daily self-care, what I do every single day to care for myself.

But then I look at my week, because there are certain things that I do to take care of myself that’s not every day. So, for example, and I’m just going to run you through what I put on the worksheet. On Sundays, I call them Sunday fun day for a reason. That is the day that we are usually on the boat, or we’re going for hikes, or it’s my day to enjoy my family and my friends and just completely disconnect. And then at the end of the day, I love to use Sundays to plan my week. Now, I have in the past, done my financial date on Sundays, but I’ve changed that around now because it didn’t really feel good to do it on Sundays anymore. So I changed it. So I still have a financial date with myself every week, but I’ll tell you about that in a second.

But Sunday fun day, boat date, plan my week, super simple. Because remember you plan what’s important, you schedule what matters. So all of this stuff goes on my schedule, then all I have to do is show up for it. But how often do we put everybody else on our schedule? And then we look

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at it and we’re like, “Where am I? Where am I in my own life? Where am I on my schedule?” So if you want to make self-care a nonnegotiable, if you’re going to make it a priority, I want you to put it on your schedule and show up for what you plan for yourself. So boat day, plan my week on Sunday.

Mondays, 45 minutes of exercise or movement. I love calling it movement. You can call it exercise, whatever feels good for you. But it’s when I push my limit, I try to get movement in every single day, but my planned movement is on Mondays, on Wednesdays and Thursdays. And this is when I’ll either get on my Peloton, which I just got and I’m in love with, or I’ll go to a Pilates class with a friend or I’ll do my bar workout here at home. But those are scheduled in my calendar.

Tuesdays, I always put Olaplex in my hair every Tuesday. If you don’t know what Olaplex is, you got to try it. It’s so, so good. So I’ll put that in my hair on Tuesdays. It’s a way for me caring for myself. And I do a microderm. I have a at home microderm machine. And so every Tuesday I microderm my face. Wednesdays again, exercise, Thursdays, exercise. And then Thursdays are the days that I now review my financials because I have a weekly standing meeting with my CFO. So it’s the time that I really look at my financial life and I make decisions.

What I’m going to spend where, where I’m going to spend money in the business, what I’m going to save, what my budget is for the next few months. And so Thursdays are my financial planning days. And then Friday I typically have a girls night out. I get to celebrate my week with my girlfriends. So that’s on Friday. Saturdays I love to go to the farmers’ market and usually I’ll spend some time in town. I’ll again meet up with some friends for lunch. But this time of the year, Saturdays are my farmers’ market days and it’s a form of self-care. You know, I’m buying fresh, local produce. But it’s not just that, it’s me being outdoors. It’s also like the sole satisfaction of going to the farmers’ market. And you’ll know a good self-care activity, but how it makes you feel. Does it reenergize you? Does it bring you joy? Does it make you feel stronger? That’s how you will know what needs to go on your self-care plan.

And then there’s other on your self-care plan, there’s the occasionally, I guess you could say, things that you’re going to do throughout the month. So for me it’s ordering supplements. It’s scheduling a facial, which I try to do once every one to two months. It’s FaceTiming with my best friend Julie. It’s booking my dentist and GYN appointment. It is booking my biweekly massage. It’s replacing my makeup brushes, right? It’s these little things that we often don’t even think about. We just keep pushing them to the back burner. But I want you to, again, make this a nonnegotiable for yourself. Think about the little things that help you have a sense of self-care. Think about the big things that give you a sense of self-care.

Some of them are going to be fun and easy. Some of them are going to be harder. They’re going to be challenging. For example, sitting down with your finances. If you’re in a state of lack and scarcity, that is going to be very difficult until you start doing it and you start working on your

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mindset around it and you start getting a grasp on what’s happening in your financial life, and you start making bold decisions around your finances. Then, all of a sudden, you’re caring for yourself enough to face these scary things that as long as you don’t face, they just get worse. It’s a form of self-neglect. And so I want you to go through this same schedule for yourself this month. I want you to plan it out. What are you going to do every single day to take care of yourself ?

And for some of you, what may be on this list is saying no to things. Maybe you have obligated yourself to things that you’re no longer passionate or excited about and it’s just draining you. You get to say no. For some of you, it’s going to be saying yes to things that you’ve been wanting to say yes to, but for whatever reason you’ve been denying yourself of that experience. For some of you, it’s going to be maybe eating healthier or getting more movement into your every day. Maybe it will be booking a facial. Maybe it will be dressing better in a way that you feel really good about yourself.

Again, it’s going to be different for all of us. But I want you to notice the things that you do, that when you do them, they give you a sense of wellbeing. They give you more energy, they help you feel more alive, you feel more joy. And make those things a nonnegotiable and I promise you when you do this, no matter what your goals are, it’s going to be easier to reach them. You’re going to start getting out of your own way because you’re so tired and fatigued and just drained in all the ways. And so let’s make self-care a nonnegotiable this month. I want you to create your self-care plan and I want you to commit right now to sticking to it.