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How to deal with How to deal with negative peoplenegative people

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Don’t Take It PersonallyDon’t Take It Personally

• Chances are the guy who cut you off Chances are the guy who cut you off would have cut anybody off, he didn't would have cut anybody off, he didn't single you out. The same applies to single you out. The same applies to cranky coworkers. When you take cranky coworkers. When you take things personally, you act on your things personally, you act on your emotions and lose the ability to think emotions and lose the ability to think logically.logically.

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Trust That the Other Person Also Trust That the Other Person Also Wants HarmonyWants Harmony

• If you approach a difficult person If you approach a difficult person believing he is as eager as you to clear believing he is as eager as you to clear the tension, you empower yourself to the tension, you empower yourself to make the first move. Don't be afraid to make the first move. Don't be afraid to use phrases like "I'm sorry" or "I could use phrases like "I'm sorry" or "I could be wrong." They lower defenses and be wrong." They lower defenses and open the door to progress. open the door to progress.

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Ask AdviceAsk Advice

• Have a trusted Have a trusted friend or confidant? friend or confidant? Share the situation Share the situation with them. Ask what with them. Ask what they think, and what they think, and what they would do in they would do in your place. Another your place. Another person's perspective person's perspective can help you see can help you see the problem in a the problem in a new light new light

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Choose Your BattlesChoose Your Battles

• Determine what is really important in Determine what is really important in your business, your relationships, and your business, your relationships, and your life, and fight for those things, but your life, and fight for those things, but let the little stuff slide. Turning every let the little stuff slide. Turning every negative encounter into a full-scale negative encounter into a full-scale battle is not only draining, it takes time battle is not only draining, it takes time away from the things that are truly away from the things that are truly important. important.

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Expect the ExpectedExpect the Expected

• If a coworker makes a rude comment If a coworker makes a rude comment every time you order dessert, don't every time you order dessert, don't expect it to change the next time. Work expect it to change the next time. Work on a positive response like "Thanks for on a positive response like "Thanks for being so concerned about my health." It being so concerned about my health." It turns the tables and removes their turns the tables and removes their ammunition peacefully. ammunition peacefully.

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Work to Understand Their Work to Understand Their MotivationMotivation

• This is the real secret to long-term improvement. If This is the real secret to long-term improvement. If done properly, this will not only improve your done properly, this will not only improve your relationship, it can help them change their perspective. relationship, it can help them change their perspective. How do you begin? Simply ask. Ask why they behave How do you begin? Simply ask. Ask why they behave the way they do. Why they made that comment. the way they do. Why they made that comment. Chances are, they'll be more than happy to answer. Chances are, they'll be more than happy to answer. You may have to ask more than one question to get to You may have to ask more than one question to get to the heart of the issue, but once you reach the core, the heart of the issue, but once you reach the core, you'll not only come to a new understanding of that you'll not only come to a new understanding of that person, you'll be able to help them shift their attitude or person, you'll be able to help them shift their attitude or help them move on. The key? Approach them help them move on. The key? Approach them sincerely. It's amazing what can come from an honest sincerely. It's amazing what can come from an honest desire to help desire to help

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It’s Impossible to Please Everybody It’s Impossible to Please Everybody • No matter how competent and wonderful a person No matter how competent and wonderful a person

you are, you just can’t please everybody. Many you are, you just can’t please everybody. Many times, people who are known for being difficult just times, people who are known for being difficult just haven’t learned yet how to think of anyone other than haven’t learned yet how to think of anyone other than themselves, which makes it hard for them to be themselves, which makes it hard for them to be considerate of others. They may also have a very considerate of others. They may also have a very negative outlook on life, perhaps because of a negative outlook on life, perhaps because of a troubled past or because of their current situation. troubled past or because of their current situation. Their negativity may be very deeply rooted within Their negativity may be very deeply rooted within many years of heartache, so the first thing you have many years of heartache, so the first thing you have to realize when dealing with difficult coworkers is that to realize when dealing with difficult coworkers is that although they may not have just cause for their bad although they may not have just cause for their bad attitude, they may be dealing with a lot of stuff that’s attitude, they may be dealing with a lot of stuff that’s simply out of your reach. simply out of your reach.

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Be Prepared for Conflict Be Prepared for Conflict • The best way to deal with a negative situation The best way to deal with a negative situation

is to see it coming. If you’re going to have to is to see it coming. If you’re going to have to work closely with or otherwise deal with a work closely with or otherwise deal with a toxic coworker, know ahead of time how toxic coworker, know ahead of time how you’re going to handle the situation. Set up you’re going to handle the situation. Set up the conflict in your head and work through the conflict in your head and work through how you’re going to handle it. Know your own how you’re going to handle it. Know your own limitations and be prepared to uphold your limitations and be prepared to uphold your morals and values. Don’t let go of your self-morals and values. Don’t let go of your self-confidence and don’t allow them to get under confidence and don’t allow them to get under your skin. Recognize their problems as their your skin. Recognize their problems as their own problems, not yours.own problems, not yours.

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Don’t Fuel the Fire Don’t Fuel the Fire

• You’re going to be tempted to retaliate – to lash out at You’re going to be tempted to retaliate – to lash out at toxic coworkers in an attempt to try and "make them toxic coworkers in an attempt to try and "make them understand" how their negativity is affecting you. understand" how their negativity is affecting you. However, 99% of the time, this is the worst thing that However, 99% of the time, this is the worst thing that you can do. People who thrive on being difficult and you can do. People who thrive on being difficult and causing tension also thrive on controversy. Any causing tension also thrive on controversy. Any exchange of negative words makes them feel powerful exchange of negative words makes them feel powerful and fuels their need for pessimism. "Kill them with and fuels their need for pessimism. "Kill them with kindness" is the best piece of advice for dealing with kindness" is the best piece of advice for dealing with situations involving difficult people. They will either situations involving difficult people. They will either become too frustrated or too bored with you, eventually become too frustrated or too bored with you, eventually become disinterested in engaging in debate with you. become disinterested in engaging in debate with you. Once they back off, your work situation can become Once they back off, your work situation can become more focused on the actual work, relieving the pressure more focused on the actual work, relieving the pressure of dealing with this difficult coworker. of dealing with this difficult coworker.

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Lend a Helping Hand Lend a Helping Hand

• Although not beneficial in all situations, sometimes Although not beneficial in all situations, sometimes difficult people are looking for an ally – someone to difficult people are looking for an ally – someone to spill their heart to and vent their pent up frustrations spill their heart to and vent their pent up frustrations to. Just by being a good listener, you may be able to to. Just by being a good listener, you may be able to better the situation between you and this coworker better the situation between you and this coworker that you find to be so difficult. Once you’ve broken that you find to be so difficult. Once you’ve broken down the wall of conflict, you may then be able to down the wall of conflict, you may then be able to give suggestions on how this person could improve give suggestions on how this person could improve their attitude to help both your work situation and their attitude to help both your work situation and theirs. If they are not receptive to your input, try using theirs. If they are not receptive to your input, try using a neutral third-party to navigate the conflict into a a neutral third-party to navigate the conflict into a compromised outcome. compromised outcome.

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RememberRemember

• There’s no reason why you should give There’s no reason why you should give somebody the power over you to somebody the power over you to determine whether you’re going to have determine whether you’re going to have a good day or a bad day. a good day or a bad day.