1. In other lessons, we have talked about the husband and wife. This lesson will deal with what God expects of parents and the children which grace a

HANDLING FAMILY PROBLEMSPARENT-CHILD RELATIONSHIP

INTRODUCTION

1. In other lessons, we have talked about the husband and wife. This lesson will deal with what God expects of parents and the children which grace a Christian home.

2. Children are “an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). They have been given to us by God (Gen. 48:9).

INTRODUCTION

3. Note the use of “arrow” in Psalm 127:4. “As a bowman straightens and polishes his arrow, gives it a sharp point, and wings it with feathers, so must parents train their children to hit the mark of duty dead center.” (Cope)

INTRODUCTION4. Children did not ask to be born.

Parents are responsible for every child has a soul and is destined to live somewhere for eternity!

5. The parent-child relationship is reciprocal – it works both ways or it doesn’t work.

I. THE RESPONSIBILITY OF PARENTS

A. Must provide materially for children (I Tim. 5:8)1. Children can be given too much.

2. Need to learn about hard work and cost of things.

3. “Things” are not worthy substitutes for responsibilities.


B. Must “bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4). “Nurture” is from paideia and means “The whole training and education of children (which relates to the cultivation of mind and morals, and employs for this purpose commands and admonitions, reproof and punishment.)”


C. Must not provoke to wrath (Eph. 6:4).1. Note the parallel text: “Lest they be

discouraged” (Col. 3:21).2. In what way can we produce wrath

and discouragement in our children?a. Make unreasonable demands. God

requires us “to do justly” Micah 6:8.b. Correct him with obvious and fierce

anger. “Grievous words stir up anger” (Prov. 15:1)


c. Excessive punishment – penalty unfit for the wrong. “He that handleth a matter wisely shall find good” (Prov. 16:20).


D. Setting the right example before them.1. In the home.

a. Let love, respect, and understanding prevail. (Eph. 5:22-33;4:32)

b. Let the Bible be studied and prayer offered. (II Tim. 2:15; I Thess. 5:17)


c. Let a high standard of morality exist. (Titus 2:11,12; Titus 2:4,5)


2. In the church. a. Attendance of services. (Heb.

10:25; Matt. 6:33)b. Respect for “leaders”. (I Tim. 5:17)c. Reverence in the worship. (Ex. 3:5;

Matt. 18:20)d. WORK, for both old and young.

(Phil. 2:12)e. In giving of our means. (I Cor. 16:2;

II Cor. 9:6,7)


E. Teaching them.1. The Bible (Deut. 6:7;

Eph. 6:4; Titus 2:4,5) 2. To have respect for:

a. Parents (Rom. 1:30; Eph. 6:1,2: Gen. 18:19; I Sam. 3:13; Prov. 13:24; Prov. 22:15)


b. Older people (I Tim. 5:1)

c. Law officials (I Tim. 2:1-4; Titus 3:1; I Peter 2:17)


3. To work (II Thess. 3:10)4. Proper use of money (Lk. 16:11)5. The permanency and

sanctity of the marriage relationship (Heb. 13:4; Matt. 19:9)


6. The need of faithfully serving the Lord:a. By obeying the gospel (II Thess. 1:7-

9)b. Living a godly and faithful life until

death (Rev. 2:19; Heb 2:14)


F. The parents’ responsibility can be summed up by observing the growth and development of Jesus as a boy.1. He grew in four areas and this

suggests the areas we must give attention to with our children.


1. He grew in four areas and this suggests the areas we must give attention to with our children.a. Wisdom – mental developmentb. Stature – physical developmentc. Favor with man – social

developmentd. Favor with God – spiritual

development


2. See also I Samuel 2:263. Let it be noted that in each of

these areas proper training will result in a child growing up a credit to his parents and will result in a person that honors God. Improper training will have a harmful effect in each of these areas:


a. Mental development can result in a good education to be used in the service of God or can result in pride and arrogance that honors self and has no room for God.


b. Physical development can result in good health, athletic ability, etc. and an understanding of our “maleness” or “femaleness” that will honor God; or it can result in an obsession with the body, physical attractiveness and misuse of the body in lust and licentiousness.


c. Social development can develop in us an understanding and appreciation of people that will help us to reach them and influence them with the gospel or it can create in us a craze for popularity – a desire to go along with the crowd – that will influence us to sell our principles cheaply.


d. Spiritual development creates a desire to please God and go to heaven. It develops young men and women for service to Christ. When this is neglected the religion of Jesus is meaningless.

II. THE RESPONSIBILITY OF CHILDREN

A. Obey your parents.1. “In the Lord” means according to

the will of the Lord – you can never set aside God’s will in favor of human will. (Acts 5:29)

2. Follow the example of Christ. (Lk. 2:51,52)


3. “This is right” – it is the divine arrangement. See Col. 3:20 “this is well pleasing unto the Lord.”

4. Notice the context of “disobedient to parents”. (Rom. 1:30)


5. When parental authority is expressed:a. With firmness it makes obedience

advisable.b. With wisdom it makes obedience

natural.c. With love it makes obedience

pleasant.6. See Proverbs 17:25; 15:20; 10:1.


B. Honor thy father and mother.1. Honor is love plus respect,

reverence, and corresponding obedience.

2. Jesus applied this command (in Ex. 20:12) to the idea of providing for parents (Mark 7:9-13). See in I Tim. 5:4,8,16 the clear, direct teaching on this.


3. Note this idea in Proverbs 31:28: “Her children arise up and call her blessed.”


4. The constant, tender concern for children by those who brought them into this world is a beautiful thing. (Prov. 23:22)

CONCLUSION

A. Let us go back to what God says about parents and children.

B. As a parent, are you worthy of being called “Blessed”?

Some additional verses on corrective discipline:I Sam. 3:13; Prov. 1:8; 4:1; 6:20,23; 13:1; 13:24; 15:5; 19:18; 20:20; 22:6; 22:15; 23:14; 23:22; 29:15; 29:17; 30:17.

Documents

1. In other lessons, we have talked about the husband and wife. This lesson will deal with what God expects of parents and the children which grace a