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Mark WestNeighborhood Church

“ “Calling Men into Calling Men into Vital Relationships”Vital Relationships”

• Building the Believer

• Equipping the Worker

• Reaching the World for Christ

A Vision forA Vision forMen’s MinistryMen’s Ministry

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What is the Purpose of a What is the Purpose of a Vital Relationship?Vital Relationship?

THE PURPOSE OF A VITAL MENTORING RELATIONSHIP IS FOR MEN TO HELP EACH OTHER BECOME CHRISTLIKE IN EVERY RELATIONSHIP IN A MAN’S LIFE.

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Why Relationship???!!Why Relationship???!!

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

John 13:34-35 (NIV)It’s pretty hard, if not impossible, to love someone unless you know them…

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What about Relationships?What about Relationships?• In spite of the clear biblical mandate to “love one another” (John 13:34-35), most Christian men have very few close friends. Yet many of these men wish they had a brother in Christ whom they could really count on.

• We are called to committed love relationships with each other (there are more than 50 “one another” scripture references).

• To build a mentoring relationship requires us to be intentional. It is not easy to do, but it is scriptural and worth the rewards.

• As men grow relationally and spiritually, they deepen their commitment to Jesus Christ, their family, friends, church and community.

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What is the Situation?What is the Situation?

The situation or problem is, even with enormous pressures coming from family, career, health or finances, on a typical weekend, only 1 out of 3 men attend church.

During the week, roughly 27 million men read the Bible (other than at church), yet 67 million men do not open God’s Word during the week.

George BarnaPresidentBarna Research Group, Ltd.

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The SituationThe Situation (continued)(continued)

Why have so many men made a conscious decision to ignore Christ or His church at the same time they are seeking for meaning, purpose, significance, influence and joy? Our study among the unchurched (those who have not attended a Christian church service during the past six months) sheds light on this question.

-George Barna

Most unchurched men believe that involvement with a church does not offer any value to their life.

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The SituationThe Situation (continued)(continued)

As decision-makers in their sphere of influence, most men instinctively conduct a cost-benefit analysis of every opportunity they face. Their objective is to maximize benefits while minimizing costs. Our research shows that a majority of churched men arrive at this same conclusion:

-George Barna

Participation in church life cannot be justified because they perceive that the return on their investment of time, attention and energy is too slim.

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Men’s Ministry - DefinitionMen’s Ministry - Definition

Effective Men’s Ministry is a life-changing process that produces teams of men intentionally climbing toward spiritual maturity and bringing others with them.

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“For the equipping of the saints for the work of service, to the building up of the body of Christ; until we all attain to the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a mature man to the measure of the stature which belongs to the fullness of Christ.”

Ephesians 4:12-13 (NASB)

Why a Men’s Ministry?Why a Men’s Ministry?

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Ten More ReasonsTen More Reasonsfor Men’s Ministryfor Men’s Ministry

1. Men are hungry for God.

2. Men need authentic brotherhood in Christ.

3. Men have valuable spiritual gifts to offer their local church.

5. Men need to take personal responsibility and deal with personal issues.

4. Men are searching for significance

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9. Men need to learn how to serve and how to actually become foot washers.

8. Men need a safe environment to avail male relationships.

7. Men need to be accountable to one another.

6. Men need a spiritual mentor to provide a positive role model (the mentor’s age does not matter!).

10. Men need something worthwhile to do and   something meaningful to look forward to.

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Principles of Men’s MinistryPrinciples of Men’s MinistryPrinciple #1:

A Ministry focused on relationships, not programs

Principle #7:

Avoid implementing too much too soon.

Principle #6:

A Ministry with flexibility and variety

Principle #5:

A Ministry led by a core group of men

Principle #4:

A Pastor-Supported Ministry

Principle #3:

A Ministry for men only

Principle #2:

A Ministry with clear goals

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The Purpose of our Father’s CallThe Purpose of our Father’s Call

The Cross

Christlike

Love

Faith

Hope –––––––––– Laborers

“…we all… are being transformed into His likeness…

2 Corinthians 3:18

–––––––––– Brothers

–––––––––– Disciples

“… to be conformed to the likeness of His Son…

the firstborn among many brothers.”

Romans 8:28-29

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The Purpose of our Father’s Call The Purpose of our Father’s Call (a closer look)(a closer look)

The Cross

Christlike

Love

Faith

Hope Laborers Christ

Brothers Christ

Disciples Christ

“We continually remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.”

1 Thessalonians 1:3 (NIV)

(Being equipped by the Body)

(Serving the Body)

(Building the Body)

“The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few.”Matthew 9:37

(Accept Jesus Christ)

of

in

for

(Our nourishing Word)(Our nourishing Word)

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The Relational Baseball Diamond

• First Base

• Second Base

• Third Base

• Home Plate

Becoming Acquaintances

““Let’s Play Ball!”Let’s Play Ball!”

Being Christlike

Bonding as Brothers

Building Friendships

(Of course to play, you first(Of course to play, you first have to step up to the plate…)have to step up to the plate…)

The process of building vital relationships among men can be likened to a baseball diamond in that there are four phases of development.

““THE RELATIONAL DIAMOND”THE RELATIONAL DIAMOND”

There are some guys in the dugout, but there is a whole stadium just watching, let alone the rest of the world.

Most of us won’t hit a “home run” in our efforts to form relationships, most men are lucky just to get to first base!

The process starts as we “step up to the plate” with the desire and determination to become more like Christ.

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Heading for FirstHeading for FirstBecoming “Acquaintances”

“Accept one another, then, just as Christ   accepted you…”

Romans 15:7

• Confidentiality

Focus on: • Listening to each other (implies we arespending time talking to each other)

• Accepting each other• Building trust in the context of shared experiences and activities = IMPORTANT!

• Identifying and exploring group ideas and establishing the purpose for meeting together

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Sliding into SecondSliding into SecondBuilding “Friendships”

• Gaining confidence in one another

• Conflict resolution skills

• Adjusting to unmet expectations in an honest and respectful way

Focus on: • Discussing ideas & sharing opinions on men’s subjects (deeper level of communication)

Sliding implies friction and getting soiled

“Encourage one another and build each other up…”

1 Thessalonians 5:11

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Rounding Third BaseRounding Third Base Bonding as “Brothers in Christ”

“…teach and admonish one another…” Colossians 3:16

• Covenants and accountability in small groups

• The struggle for moral excellence together

• Worship together

Focus on: • Team building

“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:17

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Running for HomeRunning for HomeBeing “Christlike”

“By your unity the world will know that God sent me”

John 17:23-24

• Influencing our world

• Using our spiritual gifts in the body

• Our “unique contribution”

Focus on: • Teamwork

“…serve one another in love.” Galatians 5:13

(Ephesians 4:3)

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How do weHow do weMultiply our Multiply our EffectivenessEffectiveness

for Christ?for Christ?

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Men’s Ministry DefinitionMen’s Ministry Definition

Effective Men’s Ministry is a life-changing process that produces teams of men intentionally climbing toward spiritual maturity and bringing others with them.

Remember our:Remember our:

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Multiplying our EffectivenessMultiplying our Effectiveness

Then:

“Stepping Up to the Plate”

• We can multiply our effectiveness and encourage  other men to “Step up to the plate,” run the bases, and head for Home.

• We “reach out” to our peers and the community

• We “help” our church

• Mutual “accountability” becomes foundational in our lives

• We begin to face the challenges of life as a “team”When:

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The ChallengeThe ChallengeWe cannot grow by ourselves!

Trust in the Lord with all of your heart,And do not lean on your own understanding.In all your ways acknowledge (know) Him,And He will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:5-6

*

We must have the humility and/or courage to get involved with our brothers and stay involved. As our commitment to serve Jesus Christ and the body of believers solidifies, the Holy Spirit will gradually reveal to us what our “unique contribution” is to be which will be affirmed by other brothers. Then, in our own way (but not in our own strength and understanding*), we can participate in what God is doing in the world today as part of a committed team of men.

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It’s true -It’s true -We have our Father in heaven!We have our Father in heaven!

Also it’s true Also it’s true that…that…

Every man needs Every man needs a brother!a brother!

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Why brothers?Why brothers?One of the keys to a man’s growth in Christ is to find men of like heart and become brothers, moving together toward the goal of Christlikeness.

In this age of individualism, men are beginning to realize the importance and need of having brothers who will support, encourage, and hold one another accountable to a Christian model of manhood.

Christ died so I might live, I must die so Christ can live in me. *

•“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.”

Galatians 2:20a

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What does it mean to be What does it mean to be a brother in Christ?a brother in Christ?It’s more than just joining a club or attending some meeting. To be a true brother requires a degree of RELATIONAL INTIMACY (into-me-see) that doesn’t come naturally to most men.

• accept one another as ACQUAINTANCES• encourage one another as FRIENDS• and exhort one another as BROTHERS

The most important thing in any relationship is “communication” which requires time together, which requires commitment to a priority.

We can grow deeper in our relationships as we learn to:

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How do we face the Challenge How do we face the Challenge of of not doing it alonenot doing it alone??

The Bible teaches that there are RESOURCES available to help us face the challenge!

“And the things which you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses, these entrust to faithful men, who will be able to teach others also.” 2 Timothy 2:2 (NASB)

• and one another so we won’t have to do the job alone.

• His Word

God has given us: • His Spirit

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The Vision…The Vision…

It is important to pursue vital relationships with other brothers which requires commitment and communication. As an example, the Promise Keepers Ministry recognizes the importance of this in their second promise.

In our Men’s Ministry we want to recognize our God-given personalities & our spiritual gifts and:

• Go forth to serve Christ

• Grow together in Christ

• Get together because of Christ

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Through Entry Points!

It’s important for a Men’s Ministry to focus on “Entry Points.” These are places a man can choose to go for entering into relationships with other guys.

How does a manHow does a manget involved?get involved?

•Men dying to self and  allowing Jesus Christ  to live in them as they  relate to:

              •           Family•          Friends•          Church•   Community/World

Mo

re Relatio

nal C

om

mitm

ent

Mo

re Bib

lical Info

rmatio

n G

iven

““PK Funnels Model for Entry Points”PK Funnels Model for Entry Points”

““The 12”The 12” Luke 6:12-16Luke 6:12-16

““The 72”The 72”

““The 120”The 120”

““The 500”The 500”

““The 5000”The 5000”

Acts 1:13-15Acts 1:13-15

Luke 10:1-24Luke 10:1-24

1 Cor 15:4-61 Cor 15:4-6

John 6:1-14John 6:1-14

Men’s Small GroupsMen’s Small Groups

Men’s Congregational Men’s Congregational GatheringsGatherings

Men’s Equipping Men’s Equipping SeminarsSeminars

Men’s Special Events

Men’s ConferencesMen’s Conferences

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Small GroupsSmall GroupsThe Bottom of the Funnel

“The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone.”

Exodus 18:18b (NIV)

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Why are “Small Groups” (3-12 men) Why are “Small Groups” (3-12 men) so important for so important for vital relationshipsvital relationships??

1. To foster “spiritual growth” (Acts 2:42)

2. To foster “relational growth” (Hebrews 10:24-25)

3. To provide “emotional support” (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

4. To “stimulate service” (1 Peter 4:10)

5. To relationally “incorporate newcomers”

6. To “develop leadership”

7. To provide “clear vision” for a Christian man (Mark 12:30-31 and Matthew 28:19-20)

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Seven benefits men will receive by Seven benefits men will receive by meeting in “Small Groups”meeting in “Small Groups”

1. It provides opportunity to learn with other men how to live the Christian life.

2. It is a safe place where men learn to express love to others.

3. It is a place where men get to know each other in an atmosphere of love and acceptance.

4. It is a place where men find strength to face trials, changes, and personal decisions.

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Seven benefits men will receive by Seven benefits men will receive by meeting in “Small Groups” meeting in “Small Groups” (continued)(continued)

5. It is a place where men are free to be spiritual.

6. It is a place where men can worship and pray together.

7. It is a place where men can discover their spiritual gifts in order to serve others.

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Some notable quotes…Some notable quotes…“Aim at nothing, and you’ll hit it every time.”

- Howard Hendricks Professor, Dallas Theological Seminary

“It hasn’t been easy. The first few years are tough. Men don’t see the value of men’s ministry at first. Their schedules are already full.” - Ross Robinson

Minister of Education, First Baptist Church - Paducah, KY

“The atmosphere you create is more important than the content you cover.” - Howard Hendricks

Professor, Dallas Theological Seminary

“Our men are theologically pure but relationally bankrupt.” - Lee Stallings

Executive Pastor, Campus Baptist Church - Fresno, CA

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Where do WE GO from here?Where do WE GO from here?

“Forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 3:13b-14 (NASB)

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PRINCIPLES OF MEN’S MINISTRYPRINCIPLES OF MEN’S MINISTRYPrinciple #1:A Ministry focused on relationships, not programs

Principle #2:A Ministry with clear goals

Principle #3:A Ministry for men only

Principle #4:A Pastor-Supported Ministry

Principle #5:A Ministry led by a core group of men

Principle #6:A Ministry with flexibility and variety

Principle #7:Avoid implementing too much too soon.

WE need to remember the… “the Lighthouse”WE need to remember the… “the Lighthouse”

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“Unless the Lord builds the house,its builders labor in vain.

Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain.”

1. Pray2. Develop a core leadership

“small group”3. Take a profile of “the men”4. Develop a purpose/mission

statement5. Remember Principle #7:

“Avoid implementing too much too soon.”

Psalm 127:1

How do we begin? How do we begin? LET’S GOLET’S GO and have us and have us

“step up to the plate” and:“step up to the plate” and:

“ We cannot expect an overnight Men’s Ministry anymore than we can expect to hit a Home Run, it may take years.”

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Mark WestNeighborhood Church

““Calling Men into Calling Men into Vital Relationships”Vital Relationships”

• Building the Believer

• Equipping the Worker

• Reaching the World for Christ

A Vision forA Vision forMen’s MinistryMen’s Ministry

Bert Hartmann (707) 542-1000 October 12, 2001

The End

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Some Men’s Ministry Ideas…Some Men’s Ministry Ideas…

GROUP TEACHING• Five Levels of Communication• Temperament (Personality) Types• Servant Leadership• Prayer• New Covenant• Spiritual Gifts

SMALL GROUP DISCUSSION BOOKSDaily Disciplines for the Christian Man

by Dr. Bob BeltzThe Man in the Mirror

by Patrick MorleySpirit-Controlled Temperament

by Tim LaHaye

ACTIVITIESMen’s Breakfasts w/ VideosEvening Men’s Bible StudySpecial OutingsSpecial “Innings” at the ChurchAttend Men’s RetreatPK Conference

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The Lord The Lord usesuses an an individual man to individual man to make a difference!make a difference!

And know and remember…