10 Savage Original Reviews of Classic Works of Literature

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DUSTIN KOSKI MAY 3, 2015

Were so used to classic works of literature being put up on an intellectual pedestal that

its hard to empathize with the critics who first encountered them. With little or no hype

surrounding the work, they were able to publish reviews without the burden of popular

consensuswhich meant that they often ended up dismissing a masterpiece as complete

garbage.

10The Great Gatsby

While F. Scott Fitzgeralds 1925 work is one of the leading causes of complaints among

high school students and has a fairly spotty record as far as film adaptations go, the story

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10 Savage Original Reviews Of ClassicWorks Of Literature



of how Jay Gatsby threw grand parties in an attempt to draw the attention of Daisy

Buchanan has captured the imaginations of generations of readers. Not that there was any

indication of that when the book was first published. Fitzgerald was extremely

disappointed to find that his masterpiece only sold around 21,000 copies, making the

author roughly the same amount of money as a short story hed once written. With that in

mind, reviews such as this one from New York Herald Tribune must have stung more

than normal:

The Great Gatsby is purely ephemeral phenomenon...a literary lemon meringue.

After his $2,000 advance to write the book, Fitzgerald only made around $13.00 in Gatsby

royalties during his lifetime. He died in 1940, completely missing the period when his book

was rediscovered and elevated to the pantheon of American literature. Even worse, he was

alive to see the 1926 film version. Rarely has such a classic novel done more to disappoint

the author.

9Leaves Of Grass

Photo credit: poetryfoundation.org

Photo credit: Wikimedia

Photo credit: Petter73





Walt Whitman is one of Americas most esteemed poets and Leaves Of Grass has become

a touchstone of American literature. This is especially impressive considering that the first

two editions of the poetry collection were self-published. When it was finally going to be

professionally published, the American Civil War broke out and effectively squashed the

third edition. As if that wasnt enough, the books revolutionary style and frank sexual

content drew considerable ire and furious reviews. Take this 1855 effort from Edgar Allan

Poes archnemesis, Rufus Griswold:

It is impossible to imagine how any mans fancy could have conceived such a mass of

stupid filth, unless he were possessed of the soul of a sentimental donkey that had died of

disappointed love.

And that was still just the tip of the iceberg in terms of the grief Whitmans work brought

him. In 1865, while he was working as a clerk in the Department of the Interior, he left a

copy of the book on his desk, where his boss chanced upon it and promptly fired him for

writing such stupid filth. Even in 1882, the book was still controversial enough to be

banned in Boston as obscene literature. Still, it was probably received better than any of

our attempts at poetry would be.

8Frankenstein



Frankenstein grew from one of Mary Shelleys more vivid dreams into one of the most

significant combinations of science fiction and horror in literary history. Frankensteins

monster is one of the most popular and tragic creatures ever to scare an audience, and it

must have been especially frightening when it was published in 1818, since a famous

public demonstration by Giovanni Aldini had recently shown that something resembling

reanimation could be achieved by electrocuting dead human tissue. But it seems that not

everyone was impressed, with the Quarterly Review decrying:

A tissue of horrible and disgusting absurdity...Our taste and our judgement alike revolt

at this kind of writing.

The review goes on to blame the books shortcomings on the liberal author William Godwin,

who is the patriarch of a literary family whose chief skill is in delineating the wanderings

of the intellect. Godwin was Mary Shelleys father and she had dedicated the book to

him, drawing the ire of many conservative critics in the process. Even a timeless story like

Frankenstein got caught up in petty political squabbling.

7The Gettysburg Address

Like Us



Abraham Lincolns 1863 tribute to the tens of thousands of Union soldiers who gave that

last full measure of devotion has become one of the most famous speeches in history.

Thats partly because its brief length (just 263 words) makes for easy reading and

memorization in classrooms. But its intrinsic value, both in terms of historical significance

and use of language, should be evident from a quick read. That is, unless you were a writer

for the Chicago Times:

The cheeks of every American must tingle with shame as he reads the silly, flat and

dishwatery utterances.

The word silly was also used by a review in the Harrisburg Patriot & Union. That would

likely have stung Lincoln more than the Chicago Timess insults, since Harrisburg was

fairly close to Gettysburg and would have reflected the views of people whod lived through

the Gettysburg campaign more accurately. Still, 150 years later, the Patriot & Unions

modern successor would print a full retraction of their original review. As if they needed

to bother.

6The Grapes Of Wrath



Ostensibly about the Joad family moving from Oklahoma to California, John Steinbecks

classic 1936 novel is more like a printed docudrama, finding plenty of time for vivid

portraits of figures like a mechanically dishonest car dealer. In a sign of the times, the

bestseller was actually widely banned, burned, and critically savaged when it was

published. In particular, the way the dust bowl victims are exploited throughout the book

seemed suspiciously like Communist propaganda to some people. (Ironically, the book was

briefly banned in the Soviet Union under Joseph Stalin.) This review in the San Francisco

Examiner is typical of the time:

The arguments are selected from the customary communistic sources and

arguments...Consistency is not, and any informed reader knows that it cannot be, a

quality either of the Communistic mind or Communist propaganda.

The negative buzz couldnt have been all that bad thoughthe book would go on to receive

one of the most acclaimed Hollywood film adaptations of all time, just four years after it

was being widely burned.

5Wuthering Heights



A sprawling, non-chronological romance about the orphaned Heathcliff pining for the high-

born Catherine, Wuthering Heights was the only book Emily Bronte wrote (under a male

alias), but it was more than enough to secure her reputation as a literary great. It has been

adapted into several movies, most notably the 1939 version, which is still considered one

of the most romantic films ever made. It was also considered a very edgy and controversial

book in its day, notable for the cruelty many of the characters display toward each other.

Still, even if it was a bit much for its time, this 1848 review from Grahams Lady

Magazine reads like a parody of a stuffy 19th-century reviewer:

How a human being could have attempted such a book as the present without

committing suicide before he had finished a dozen chapters, is a mystery. It is a compound

of vulgar depravity and unnatural horrors.

Grahams Lady Magazine is now most notable for briefly being edited by Edgar Allan Poe,

and for being one of the highest-paying magazines of the day. There seems to be no

indication that the critic was being satirical in such a hysterical denunciation of Brontes

novel.

4Moby-Dick



Herman Melvilles 1851 classic is very different in print than its many adaptations and

cultural osmosis would lead you to believe. The revenge-driven Captain Ahab, generally

considered much more compelling than the protagonist, Ishmael, doesnt appear until 28

chapters in. The dense, digressive, literary prose is likely to be dismissed as boring or

gratuitous by readers more used to genre fiction. And even in its day, the book attracted

prominent bad reviews, such as the one printed in both the London Spectator and the New

York International:

Where it takes the shape of narrative or dramatic fiction, it is phantasmalan attempted

description of what is impossible in nature and without probability in art; it repels the

reader instead of attracting him.

It is also worth noting that Melville was, in this early regard at least, hampered by

technology. Another portion of the review mocked the book for having a first-person

narrator even though all the characters died at the end. Of course, Ishmael is actually the

only survivor, but this is revealed in an epilogue that was chopped off the end of the

original UK edition by a printing error. Although the reviewer might have considered that

cut a good start rather than a defect.

3The Raven



In 1848, the publication of The Raven made Edgar Allan Poe famous in America, but still

only netted him the standard $15. It also drew a particularly scathing review from the

magazine Southern Literary. Apparently, the writer was so incensed that Poe described

the protagonist as being scared by such things as a rap at a door and fluttering curtains,

he reached a conclusion that sounds more like the sort of user rating that youd see on

Amazon than a 19th-century literary review:

It seems as if the author wrote under the influence of opium.

The review did have some grudging praise for Poes use of rhyme and meter, but the

insistence that the events of the poem could only affect a child frightened to the verge of

idiocy by terrible ghost stories make a stronger impression. At least one literary authority

from Poes time was determined to make sure his horror masterpiece was nevermore

considered frightening.

2Winnie The Pooh



By now, stories of the silly old bear and his dim-witted friends in the Hundred Acre Wood

have enjoyed nearly a century of popularity in numerous formats, even though author A. A.

Milne eventually came to regret writing the series. But his hatred of the books was no

match for that of Dorothy Parker, who reviewed 1928s The House At Pooh Corner for the

New Yorker under the pen name Constant Reader. She was especially incensed by a

passage where Pooh announces he has added a tiddely pom to his favorite song in order

to make it more hummy. According to Parker:

And it is that word hummy, my darlings, that marks the first place in The House At Pooh

Corner at which Tonstant Weader fwowed up.

Some fans of Parkers have felt the need to explain this sentiment by observing that she

was going through a particularly rough time when she wrote the review and would have

hated any book with the slightest hint of sappiness. Others have noted that her articles as

Constant Reader were more like comedy routines than serious reviews. So fans of Pooh

need not feel defensive over Parkers harmless words. On the other hand, its also possible

that The House At Pooh Corner was treacle.



1The Work Of William Shakespeare

One of the first surviving comments on Shakespeares work comes from the popular

Elizabethan writer Robert Greene. It was written in 1592, when Shakespeare had already

had several plays performed. Except for perhaps Richard III and The Taming Of The Shrew,

none of them were the classics that the person on the street would come up with if you

asked them to name a Shakespeare play today. Nevertheless, Greene was astonishingly

dismissive:

There is an upstart crow, beautified with our feathers, that with his tigers heart wrapped

in a players hide supposes he is as well able to bombast out a blank verse as the best of

you; and, being an absolute Johannes Factotum, is in his own conceit the only Shake-scene

in a country.

For good measure, Greenes pamphlet went on to insult Christopher Marlowe. Greene died

before his harsh words were published, which spared him a rather unpleasant response.

Shakespeare and Marlowe were already so popular that the pamphlet sparked widespread

outrage, to the point where Greenes editor, Henry Chettle, had to publish a groveling

retraction apologizing to the pair of them. (Greenes publisher, sensing the way the wind

was blowing, had added a clause to the pamphlet saying that he took no responsibility,

and was only printing it upon the peril of Henrye Chettle.) It seems unlikely that

many writers working today could motivate a fan response like that.



Dustin Koski hopes all negative reviews of his short story Sarah Cant Be Real will become

novelties once it achieves classic status.

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Hillyard 8 hours ago

A bad review is just the critic saying I didn't like this. It all boils down to does the reviewer

like the genere, the author etc. I've read books, watched movies that were panned by the

critics and loved them, I've read critically acclaimed books, seen movies recommended by

every critic in the world and thought they were shit. The only critic that anyone needs to

listen to is themselves.

11

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Jude The Dude 4 hours ago> Hillyard

I agree with that. They're pretty useless and if I want to know what a movie is about

to see if I like it I just read a small summary of it. I have no need for little men with big

words to tell me what to read, watch, or listen to.

2

CesarFelipe 2 hours ago> Hillyard

Well maybe, but that doesn't mean people should go read Twilight or 50 Shades of

Grey themselves because they don't believe critics when they say they suck... I

know I won't....

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Hillyard an hour ago> CesarFelipe

If you know that the genre is not to your tastes then just ignore it. You won't

see me reading a Harequin Romance novel or listening to rap music

because I already know I won't enjoy it.

1

Reply

percynjpn 2 hours ago> Hillyard

Hear him!

1

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Lead Faun 4 hours ago> Hillyard

Exactly, it's the reviewers opinion, and wether or not you thought the review is

truthful is your opinion.

1

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Moon Musician 6 hours ago> Hillyard

Wow!

You are now honored with the statement of the century award.

1

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inconspicuous detective 8 hours ago

everybody's a critic. this is why i pay them no mind. you have to try it yourself to make a

judgement call.

if you're familiar with literature even on a general level, you'll notice that so much of it is luck.

me being into fantasy lit, i can tell you right now that something like harry potter was one of

so, so many wizard or witch tales that could easily have been the one in the garbage can by

the editor's desk, while the book just after it got published and was turned into million-dollar

blockbusters. it's some skill and tons of luck to win that draw.

6

Reply

OldBoris 6 hours ago> inconspicuous detective

I tried to write a book once. Then it turned out it already existed. It's called Camp of

the Saints, and it was published before I was born.

Reply

lonelydisco an hour ago> OldBoris

Your only chance of it getting a movie adaption is if you add lots, and lots of

porn.

1

percynjpn 2 hours ago> OldBoris

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percynjpn 2 hours ago> OldBoris

Talk about coincidental - what 'ya gonna do? Was a shame, anyway.

1

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Vlad Dracula 9 hours ago

Anyone who criticizes Shakespeare and Edgar Allen Poe's anything is dead to me. DEAD

TO ME!!!

4

Reply

Hillyard 8 hours ago> Vlad Dracula

Poe's protagonist in 'The Tell-Tale Heart' is a wimpy little turd that couldn't deal with

one ghostly heart/bad conscience long enough to fool the idiot cops that would have

let him go scot free. He deserved to hang. And I loved the story.

6

Reply

Vlad Dracula 7 hours ago> Hillyard

For a minute I was offended (dunno why), but totally agree now. If only he

waited a little longer, maybe bit his lip and didn't think about it would he have

not been dramatic and ruined everything. Poe doesn't work that way though,

I guess.

3

Reply

percynjpn an hour ago> Hillyard

Probably OCD-related.

Reply

Moon Musician 9 hours ago> Vlad Dracula

Don't forget Lovercraft.

5

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Arjan Hut 8 hours ago> Moon Musician

Yes Lovecraft is DEAD TOO!

4

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Hillyard 8 hours ago> Arjan Hut

Is he? Or is he sitting at Cthulhu's side waiting for the proper time to

return?

6

OldBoris 6 hours ago> Moon Musician

Ah, yes, H.P. Lovecraft. The man who took the ol' racism to new heights.

"When, long ago, the gods created Earth

In Jove's fair image Man was shaped at birth.

The beasts for lesser parts were next designed;

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The beasts for lesser parts were next designed;

Yet were they too remote from humankind.

To fill the gap, and join the rest to Man,

Th'Olympian host conceiv'd a clever plan.

A beast they wrought, in semi-human figure,

Filled it with vice, and called the thing a Nigger."

2

Reply

Moon Musician 6 hours ago> OldBoris

He took imagination to new heights. He created the great race of yith

and cthulhu.

3

Reply

lonelydisco an hour ago> Moon Musician

MASTER RACE

1

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lonelydisco 7 hours ago> Vlad Dracula

One of Shakespeare's most famous work is his collection of sonnets.

They vary from definitely classic to yucky-yucky.

3

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Mike 7 hours ago> Vlad Dracula

Shakespeare was the Beatles of playwrights in his day. A lot of the criticism directed

towards him wasn't entirely unjust. And not all of his plays are created equal. My

favorite play is Othello.

1

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percynjpn an hour ago> Vlad Dracula

So you mean you're truly nuts?

Reply

percynjpn an hour ago> Vlad Dracula

Totally?

Reply

percynjpn 2 hours ago

All of which typifies the arrogance and usual self-aggrandizement that is the foundation of

most Western "journalism" - both then and now.

1

lonelydisco an hour ago> percynjpn

Well, not most, but ... okay, most.

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Well, not most, but ... okay, most.

1

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percynjpn an hour ago> lonelydisco

Let's go for about a third or so, then.

1

Reply


How generous.

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Baah!

Reply

lonelydisco 14 minutes ago> percynjpn

Humbug?

1 Show 1 new reply

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El 5 hours ago

The definition of a critic, 'a person who judges the merits of literary or artistic works' or, to

paraphrase Rudyard Kipling, 'a person that has a million reasons for failure, but not a single

excuse.'

It seems that the second kind of critics made the original reviews of the works of literature

on this list!

1

Reply

Moon Musician 9 hours ago

I never really get the Great Gatsby, it is bizarre. O_O

1

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Big Dick Jerry 7 hours ago

8# Well the critics are obviously sexist since they don't like a book written by a woman.

Reply

Arjan Hut 5 hours ago> Big Dick Jerry

Women write books?

5

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percynjpn an hour ago> Arjan Hut

Heresy!!

5

Hillyard an hour ago> Arjan Hut

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I've never heard of such a thing.

4

Reply

Moon Musician an hour ago> Hillyard

Yeah, me too.

2

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Mike 7 hours ago

Grapes of Wrath is, indeed, communist propaganda. Hollywood embraced it because it

was infested with communist ideas. Communism was trendy among authors and film

makers at the time. Still is, actually. And though you can read it any way you want, it

renders itself to Marxist literary theory astonishingly well. I hate the book, but not because of

that. I just don't find it very interesting.

Reply

El 4 hours ago> Mike

'The Grapes of Wrath' is a communist propaganda as much as 'Harry Potter' is

history! The events described were very real, and much worse than most people

think!

2

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Mooncat 8 hours ago

Literature critics are people who can't write themselves, so they judge the people who can.

Reply

lonelydisco 7 hours ago> Mooncat

It's easy to demonize critics, partly because many of them are demons.

3

Reply


Too hard on yourself, my dear - but fair!

2

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Demons are often fetishized. I am not so lucky.

3

Reply


That seems slightly disappointing, in a way - somehow. .

1

Reply


That is how people react to my face.

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percynjpn 22 minutes ago> lonelydisco

Well, seeing how the face you display is in constant flux, it's a bit

difficult to have a definitive reaction. But in any event "cutie" usually

comes to mind -*ahem* - as does DANGER!! So it would seem to

be a good balance. 'Night!

2

Reply

lonelydisco 15 minutes ago> percynjpn

You think "transsexual John Stamos" is cute?

Reply

percynjpn 11 minutes ago> lonelydisco

Good question - I have no idea who John Stamos is; sorry.

Reply

Red_Ruffensor 5 minutes ago> Mooncat

It's like that with everything. As the saying goes, "Those who can't do, teach. Those

who can't teach, teach teachers."

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