issue 2.3 • sunday 1 september 1996

Or can they? Ex-Black Rock Gazette editor Stewart McKenzie rants. See page 4.10,000 BURNING MAN FANS CAN’T BE WRONG

Urban blight comes to Black Rockby ADRIAN ROBERTS

To be honest, I’m actually somewhat surprised that my friends and Iare even out here this year. While last year had its moments, itwas definitely tarnished by several negative incidents. For instance,it was quite disturbing to wake up Sundaymorning to discover an unshod vagrant,reeking of alcohol, crashed in our sparestorage tent, shamelessly helping himself toour food and water. When I ever-so-politelyconfronted him, saying, “Hey there, youknow, it’s usually customary to ask permis-sion first before you start eating someoneelse’s food,” he replied drunkenly, “Oh,yeah, uh, well...can I eat some of yourfood?” This is exactlythe sort of unsavory ele-ment that had us question-ing whether or not we would return.

Another incident occured on Sundaynight. Having set up our camp out in the “suburbs,” we constructed aneight-foot tall metal tree, and adorned it with several blinking lightsand flashing beacons, to assist us in finding our way home easily. Forthe first three nights, it worked like a charm, easily defining from adistance where our campsite was. So it was with great frustrationwhen we found ourselves wandering around the playa late Sundaynight, desperately trying to find our campsite. After a good twohours of searching, we finally stumbled across our tents. The reasonwe couldn’t find our camp? Our tree beacon had been horribly van-dalized—all of the lights attached to it had been stolen—about $75worth actually. This steamed us to no end. That was when we realizedthat things at Burning Man had definitely changed.

Granted, anytime you get thousands of people together for any-thing, you’re bound to get a few assholes. Still, what was once abeautiful experiment in utopian community living seems to havedegenerated into transplanted urban blight. It’s unfortunatethat we now have to be “streetwise” out in the desert. Needless tosay, we keep our car doors locked.

Speaking of cars, the biggest assholes on the playa this year are theones who can’t seem to stop driving everywhere! This isn’t fuckingL.A., y’know! Why can’t you people just come out here and park! As everyone knows, driving around the playa creates huge dustplumes—causing, in effect, pollution in the desert.

At night, the level of vehicular assholishness gets evenworse. We’ve nearly gotten plowed several times by idiots speed-ing their way out to rave camp—fucked up on drugs no doubt—think-ing that out in the wide expanse of the desert, they don’t need to worryabout hitting anything. Except for maybe pedestrians.

Look, if you’re going out to the Techno Ghetto, walk, or at least ridea bike. If you must drive, please do so slowly. The way things aregoing, it’s only a matter of time before someone gets hit. Think abouthow large this desert is, and then think about how ridiculous thatsounds. Get a clue.

2

issue 2.3for sunday

1 september 1996Black Rock City,

Nevada

designed, edited, and published byAdrian Roberts

contributing writersDick ChowderLizard Man

Stewart McKenziePF

Heather ShirkeySister Kitty Catalyst

photographersMarc Geller

Adrian RobertsHeather Shirkey

you can send mail to: Adrian Roberts

Piss Clear 1388 Haight Street

Suite 232San Francisco, CA

94117

but you’re much better off sending

e-mail to:adrian@sirius.com

Piss Clear On-linehttp://www.sirius.com/

~adrian/pissclear

coded and created byHeather Shirkey

hezaa@sirius.comhttp://www.sirius.com/

~hezaa

cover image:Burning Man has left the building.Photography by Adrian Roberts.

©1996 Adrian Roberts

Black Rock City’sother daily reader

adrian’s rant

Hea

ther

Shi

rkey

Required viewing for the Black Rock Desertby LIZARD MAN

The Road WarriorPriscilla, Queen of the Desert

Tank GirlHeavy Metal

All four of these movies featureexpansive, surreal landscapes as acatalyst for the action that takes place. The bleak, post-apocalyp-tic desert of The Road Warrior contrasts with the flippantapproach to a similar post-apocalyptic scenario in Tank Girl.

Priscilla, Queen of the Desert is a definite requirement for any-one grappling with the evolution of Black Rock Fashion. Answersand inspirations abound as a troupe of drag queens maketheir way across the Australian Outback. The acting is par excel-lence, by the way. Finally, Heavy Metal, perhaps the most ambi-tious animated undertaking since Ralph Bakshi ran out of moneyto complete Lord of the Rings, takes the viewer through a numberof otherworldy landscapes, populated with creatures fromyour dreams and nightmares.

McSatan’s Beastro by PF

Once when I was hitch-hiking, a driver who waskind enough to pick me upoffered me his extra burg-er, because hewas already fullafter eatingone. So I ate the burger—what else could I do? And let me tell you, itwas the most disgusting burger I ever had.And I’m not exaggerating, either.

Well, that was years ago, but by some nastycoincidence of fate, when I ordered my sand-wich from McSatan’s Beastro yesterday, Inoticed that the gentleman serving me this fineculinary creation struck an uncanny resem-blence to that very same truck driver, and itbrought me right back to that moment in time,the gristle in my mouth and everything.

But boy, was I in for a surprise. My mindwas saying, “Don’t eat that shit, man, don’tyou remember what happened last time?”But being a sucker for meat—or a sucker ofmeat, to be exact—I bit anyway, and it wasreally quite delicious. In fact I never wouldhave expected such a good burger here atBlack Rock, even if the burger-flipper atMickey S’s hadn’t reminded me of that trucker.

3

Tank Girl and friend

media exposure

Hot outfitsby ADRIAN ROBERTS

The Burning Manfestival gives manyparticipants theopportunity to lookand dress in a mannerthey may nototherwisehave the free-dom to do intheir normal, every-day lives. Put bluntly, apparel out here inBlack Rock City can get damn near fetishis-tic. Unfortunately, most sexy fetishweardoesn’t really work out here—at least not dur-ing the day—due to the sort of materialsoften used in their construction. Here’s why:

leather: looks good, but it’s a little toohot to wear to wear in the desert.

black vinyl PVC: looks good, but it’sa little too hot to wear to wear in the desert.

latex and rubber: looks good, but it’sa little too hot to wear to wear in the desert.

clear plastic: looks good, but it’s a little too hot to wear to wear in the desert.

Save items made out of the above materialfor wear at night. Unless that is, you’re try-ing to sweat away a few extra pounds and riskdehydration. Otherwise, feel free.

Hea

ther

Shi

rkey

survival

Adr

ian

Rob

erts

Jorge’s latex and chain dress is too hot.food

Fashion is burning by SISTER KITTY CATALYST

While I hardly profess being a fash-ion guru, my styling voodoo may workfor you too. Besides, if you’re readingthis, you probably needall the help you can get.

So here you are, in thedusty, blight, and bitter Black RockDesert—filled with drab and neutralcolors such as beige and tan. Why notadd some sparkle and pizzazz to thisrather somber palette? By all means,wear bright colors! You need to retainsome white highlights however, to sparkthe contrast of colors in your ensemble.

Flowing, fluffy fabrics are highlyrecommended. Really, any fabric that’slight and airy should work. Layer thema la sheik—no, not the condom—for maximum effect. Consider rippingscraps into strips for additional accenting. If nothing else, at leastwrap a towel around your head, allowing you to dry it—and build a tur-ban—at the same time. Resourcefulness is the key here!

Wearing a toga or covering oneself with mud have both become sopopular on the playa, they’re practically cliché. Let’s face it—they’vebeen done to death. Still, if you must resort to one of these tired-but-truefashion trends, definitely add your own little twists to set yourself apart.

With mud, try patterns or stripes. Hell, pile it on and make yourown shoulder pads or breast implants. And don’t forget to accentuatethe lower legs, as you’ll want spectators to get the full-length treatment.Mix in some beet juice or any other colorfast food to make colorful,wearable, facial masks. Or draw in designs or patterns with a burntwine cork, which makes black accents on and around dried mud easyand workable.

The key to wearing a toga with style is all in the accessories. Trya colorful sash and pearl-drop earrings. If you forgot to pack laurelleaves, then improvise! Try charcoal or burned wood—stunning and con-venient. A big necklace is always a plus. Find anything and put it ona string. Or carry around a scepter or torch, both of which work well foraccessorizing an outfit.

Embarrassed by that boring parasol or umbrella? Find some spraypaint or get some watered-down mud. Make some patterns or dosplotching. I’m known for hanging wine corks a la dingo-style frommine—my parasol that is—and touching it up with doo-dads or strips offabric. There’s plenty of room out here, so fill it up a bit—if you’re serv-ing as a sun shield, you’re bound to make friends quickly.

Tin foil, wax paper, napkins, garbage, plastic, used car parts—all ofthese can be used as accents for your outfit. Everything is fair gamein the wild range. Choose or lose—it’s your choice, but accessorizing isthe key. If all else fails, find a partner or two, and dress alike. Even ifyou do a less than favorable job, you’ll still pass, as people will simplythink that they’ve missed the point. Above all though, have fun—and besure to look good doing it! Good luck and Goddess bless.

Party pooperby STEWART McKENZIE

It’s a party in the desert, an appreciationof survival in a harsh climate, a rockin’ goodtime building false gods with fifty of your bestfriends—all but two who are, of course, trip-ping their brains out on ecstasy ‘n’ bourbon.

Yes, it’s Burning Man—the most excitingand coolest festival ever conceived, the great-est wonder since sliced bread, thehyped machine of Alternative Nation.

And I do believe the hype. Afterall, I’ve been an avid participant and propa-gandist of Burning Man for the past threeyears. But this year, things are different.This year, I’m not there.

Due to events beyond my control, I havefound myself just too frazzled and bedazzledat the moment to partake in the festivities. Ican barely keep up with the social constructsI’ve built here in square America, let alone theones I’d be building in hip Nevada. I needed abreak—physically, emotionally and psychologi-cally—from this whole Burning Man gig.

Why you might ask? Ask yourself about thepast few weeks. Did you start panicking,wondering where you left the tent poles andkerosene, the Igloos and bottle rockets fromlast year? Did you worry when you realizeda week ago that there were only two digits tothe left of the decimal point when you checkedyour ATM balance? Did your brain begin tohemorrhage at the thought of your rusted-out Vega traversing the playa floor? Won’tyou feel like an idiot driving back into theBay Area tomorrow, stuck in traffic for hoursand still coming down from that last hit ofacid—only to go to work the next morningcompletely burnt-out, trying to blow playadust out of your nose?

Nope, not me, not this year. I simply satback and did nothing—while everyonearound me went into conniptions prepar-ing for Burning Man ‘96.

Take Kevin for example. He was planningthis elaborate “train” to and from BurningMan, in some gi-mongous RV or truck orsomething. Bands would rock and beer wouldflow—that is, until the plan fell apart, afterit became apparent that it would be too cost-prohibitive.

Or take Bryan. Last year, he hauled to theplaya a complex set of equipment for a raised

time-lapse camera, which turnedout to be such an enormous pain-in-the-ass hevowed never to do it again. Last I heard, he andthe camera were making a return appearance.

And what about Stacey or Eileen or Bill orAdrian, along with the ten thousand othersouls, who have spent the past few weeks—months, even—planning, plotting, dream-ing. Everyone has to be at Burning Man.Everyone knows that right now, in Black RockCity, there are more shaved heads and piercednipples per capita than anywhere else in theUnited States. Everyone knows that right now,out on the playa, there are more naked bodies,funky vehicles, art installations, and pyrotech-nic performances than any Lollapaloozer orRainbow Grunting could ever hope to produce.It’s our annual convention—a convention offreakdom. It’s a live gathering in a live set-ting, away from all of our telephones and com-puters and shopping centers and billboards fea-turing chemically-dependent models.

Now before you start thinking that I’m justa jaded, cynical bastard, let me tell you this: Ilove Burning Man. It really is a hoot, and it’sdefinitely worth the energy people put into it.What gets me down is this: when it’s all fin-ished—when the last tent pole is pulled fromthe ground, when the last porta-potty is put onthe flatbed, when the last cigarette is pickedgingerly off the playa floor—it’s just...empty.In the meantime, we’ve all returned to “civi-lization”—back to those miles of shoddy con-struction we call our homes and workplaces,those environments we robotically return to...

With all the energy we invest into makingBurning Man happen—where we create aworld on our own terms—it’s always a shameto return to the world we left, a world setup by people we’ve never met and have neverknown of our existence.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

54E.O.M’s topten desertalbums African Head Charge

Songs Of PraiseChrome

3rd From The SunPeter Gabriel

PassionB.C. Gilbert G. Lewis

Cupol / 8TimeMy Bloody Valentine

LovelessRapoon

Errant AngelsTerminal Cheesecake

King Of AllSpaceheads

Throbbing GristleHeathen Earth

Wire154

Zoviet FranceJust An Illusion

— Dick Chowder,E.O.M / Radio E.O.M

Bands we’dlike to seeat BurningManThe BeatlesBlue PeriodCrash WorshipDevoEat StaticExtra FancyFive Feet To The

WindowThe Geraldine

FibbersThe London

Philharmonic Man or Astroman?Marilyn MansonMiranda Sex GardenMr. BungleThe OrbOzric TentaclesThe Qube ChixScar TissueStompTrance MissionJohn Zorn

— list compiled byAdrian Roberts, PF,

Heather Shirkey, andMatt Ferranto

Mar

c G

elle

r

Sister Kitty’s style tips work!

fashion

musings

Former Black RockGazette editorStewart McKenzieis burnt-out.

Hea

ther

Shi

rkey

Personalized greeting cards — naughty or nice!

www.greetst.com

body piercing & tattoo5 7 5 H a i g h t S t r e e t

S a n F r a n c i s c o , C A 9 4 1 1 74 1 5 . 4 3 1 . 5 7 6 0

Spanq!, the ground-breaking audio web show provides special coverage ofthe Burning Man festival. Tune in on Tuesday, September 3, and everyday at

http://spanq.comSpanq! is a registered trademark of GNN.

Today, you’re on a spiritual quest,in pursuit of a

higher consciousness.

Today, you’re on a spiritual quest,in pursuit of a

higher consciousness.

On Tuesday, find out what you looked like naked.

On Tuesday, find out what you looked like naked.

JOB WANTEDAccomplished fluatist seekscreative day job in SanFrancisco Bay Area. In addi-tion to 18+ years of profes-sional music training, myskills include swift proficien-cy with Microsoft Office forWindows95 and MacOS. Anefficient office productionwiz (type 70 wpm, 10,000kph), I have extensive cus-tomer service and multitask-ing abilities, along with aB.S. degree. Contact Stacyat: fsunflower@aol.com

VIDEOGAMES WANTEDOld Atari videogame cartridges. Yes, I’m serious.Please call Adrian at415.626.7882.

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITYMake $$$ Now Now Now!Milk Vendor needed next toNebuchadnezzar’s CoffeeStand. Bring your own milk.

MISSED CONNECTIONSTo Carl and Joey: We love you too. From Trip and Dutch.

SAN FRANCISCO BI COUPLE SEEKS BOY TOYFOR FUN AND GAMESCute, sexy couple looking forcute, sexy boy to play with.Cool sassy girl: 26, 5’6”,130#, thin but curvy.Gender-bent femme boy: 27,5’7”, 127#, very androgy-nous. We’re into lite S/M,fetishwear, dressing-up,role-playing, intelligent chat,and knowing looks. Youshould be: bi male in histwenties, in San Francisco,5’4”–5’10”, 120#–150#,

cute, fun, and clean.Androgyny, gender-bending,and an interest in S/M areall pluses. Non-smokers onlyplease. Let’s play! If you’reinterested, then e-mail:Melchior13@aol.com

MUSICIANS WANTEDTHIS AFTERNOONMusicians’ Improv: Lookingfor players of all instru-ments, not just percussion,for a jam session this after-noon. Look for the dude withthe striped hair.

P I S S C L E A R C L A S S I F I E D S a n d P E R S O N A L S

1685 Haight St.(near Stanyan)

San Francisco, CA 94117

863-4304

Same day / rush ordersCompetitive prices

Opens 7 days a weekFree local pickup and delivery

Free estimates

ragically miscast as mere surfmusic, the Mermen vacillate be-tween high-speed fret workouts anddrawn-out melodic improvisations thatsoar and dive and leave you hanging,wondering, “Just how many layers offeedback can be compressed into asingle note anyway?” Then, beforeyou know it, it clarifies and resolves,blending effortlessly into a stream, awaterfall, a rippling cascade of psy-chedelic textures.

Catchy guitarimprovs litter thesoundscape with jagged and crunchy chunksof carefully-articulated distortion, blendingwith a strong rhythm base that doesn’t need tobe told where to go next—they just feel it. Theabsence of vocals frees the band to explorewherever they feel drawn, and with song titleslike “With No Definite Future and NoPurpose Other Than To Prevail Somehow...,”that could be just about anywhere.

Still, these guys are professionals, and yearsof tireless and thankless gigging have honedthem into a tightly-wound precision mecha-nism. They don’t get lost on their wanderings,so when you suddenly realize that you recognizethat riff from earlier in the tune, you aren’teven surprised—you just wonder how long it’sbeen there and, by the way, where were you?

It’s hard to believe that just three guys canmake such a lush, rich sound. Bass, drums,guitar—that’s it. There must be a sub-ethersounding board in there somewhere. Slow itdown to a deep-sea pace, then bring it backaround to surface in the Black Rock Desert.

What other band would load up all theirequipment and drive out into the middle of theplaya, away from camp, just to jam with eachother, the earth, and the sky? That’s whatthey did last year, coming back to camp after-wards to play for the rest of us. And for thosewondering how that gig turned out, justremember the storm. Yes, the big one.

No more BMby ADRIAN ROBERTS

I’m not so sure that I like this new short-hand way of referring to Burning Man by itsacronym, BM. You see, when I was a just awee little toddler, my mother didn’t like usreferring to our shit as “poopies,” or“stinkies,” or any of the myriad othercutesy names that parents get their childrento call feces. My mother told me to call it“BM,” which stood for bowel movement.Please, don’t let Burning Man turn to shit!Use its full name. Do it for me. Thank you.

daily haiku by ADRIAN ROBERTS

Dreaming Burning ManThe playa is on my mindGet to Black Rock soon

Some here are nakedLots of people are on drugsSummer camp for freaks!

The Black Rock GazetteWhat’s up with that tired rag?It’s a waste of trees

Central Camp is coolTheme camps are interestingIt’s too loud at night

Techno Ghetto rules!Six sound systems blasting beatsIt’s a long walk though

Producing Piss ClearIs a big pain-in-the-assGratifying though

Please don’t steal my bikeIt’s the only one I haveI need it out here

My mouth is grittyThere’s playa dust in my teethWhere’s my damn toothbrush?

Burn it down quicklyWe’re tired let’s just go homeLast night was more fun

Mermen to frolic on ancient seabedby LIZARD MAN

T

band review

The Mermen perform this afternoonduring the formal cocktail party.

6

“Mr. Jenkins isn’t quite sure whatto make of this Burning Manthing, but feels better about it

after several martinis.”

Do drink ridiculously, won’t you?

Impo

rted

Engl

ish

Gin,

47.3

% A

lc/V

ol(9

4.6°

),10

0% G

rain

Neu

tral S

pirit

s.©

1996

Sch

ieffe

lin &

Som

erse

t Co.

,New

Yor

k,N.

Y.