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Do you use a different way to make a request depending on whether you are speaking to a friend or a teacher?

Do you use a different way to make a request depending on whether you are speaking to a friend or a teacher? I certainly do. While talking to my teacher, in order to show my good manners, I would use more indirect and polite words and expressions. But with a friend, Id use more direct words or expressions for sure.

What factors affect the way you make a request?

What factors affect the way you make a request? One factor is the age difference between me and the person Im talking to. With my elders, I use more polite and formal language to make a request, but Im more direct and informal with my friends. Another factor is the weight of the favor.

If I need to borrow some money from a friend or ask a special favor, Ill use more polite expressions. But if I just want to borrow a pen or something not so important, I will make a direct and informal request.

In everyday interactions, we often need other peoples help, and when we do, it is important to know the correct way to ask for it. Making a request properly will not only determine whether we actually obtain the help we need, but, more importantly, affect the attitude that people have toward us.

Making requests, in other words, involves an understanding of etiquette or politeness. In making requests in English, it is necessary to learn not only certain words and expressions, but also how to use them appropriately. First of all, the way you ask will depend on the social distance between yourself and the other person.

For instance, if you are asking a teacher for help, you will probably use more indirect and more formal words than if you are asking a close friend or relative. Second, the language you use will depend on the weight of the favor.

If you are making a special request from even a close friend, say to borrow several thousand dollars, you will probably use more polite language than if you are merely asking to borrow a pen.

Even with these guidelines, it can sometimes be hard to know how to make a request, especially in sticky situations. For instance, if you want a stranger to keep quiet in a movie theater, you might want to give him a direct command rather than make a request in order to show how annoyed you are.

However, even in this case, you will probably get better results if you ask him to quiet down in a polite and considerate way. The most polite requests generally use the expression Would you mind...? or Do you mind...? For example:

1. Would you mind if I borrow(ed) your electronic dictionary? Would you mind lending me this book? Do you mind if I turn the radio off? Do you mind turning the TV down?

Requests that are slightly less formal, but still indirect and polite, begin with Would you, Could you, or Can you. Please can be added for additional politeness. Notice that these requests are still in the form of a question.

If you want to be more direct, you can make your request in the form of an imperative sentence rather than a question. In this case, you can retain a sense of politeness by adding the word please.

Uncle Joe: O.K., Ill stop by tomorrow about seven. Katherine: Thanks so much! I really appreciate your help.

2. Marge, a supervisor at Burger King, is talking to the employees. Marge: Excuse me, Ben, could you go clean up those tables over there? Ben: Sure, but would you mind waiting a few minutes? A man just spilled his drink in front of the counter, and I need to mop it up.

Marge: Thats all right. Ill ask Frank.... Frank, clean up those tables over there, please. Frank: O.K.! No problem!

3. Richard is talking to his classmate Winnie. Richard: Gee, I dont suppose you could loan me a hundred dollars, could you? I forgot to bring my wallet to school today.

4. Allen is watching TV when his mother comes into the room. Mother: Grandma is here to visit, and she has a big suitcase to bring upstairs. She needs some help. Allen: O.K., just a minute.... Mother: Allen, did you hear me? Please go help your grandma.

Allen: All right.... I will...in a minute. Mother: Get up right now, would you? Go help your grandmother! Thats an order! Allen: O.K.! O.K.! Sorry!

5. Pauline and Robert are in a restaurant sitting in the non-smoking section when a man at the next table lights up a cigarette. Pauline: Can you believe that? He is totally ignoring the no-smoking sign.

Robert: Yeah, and it smells terrible. We really should just tell him to put that thing out. Pauline: I know, but I dont think I have the guts to tell him. Why dont we ask the waitress? Robert: Good idea... Excuse me, miss. Waitress:Yes, can I get you something?

Robert: Im sorry, but would you mind asking that man not to smoke? We can barely breathe. Waitress:Ill see what I can do. (Walks over to the smoker) Excuse me, sir. Im awfully sorry, but Im afraid this is a non-smoking section. If youd like, I can move you to another table.

Smoker:Oh, Im sorry. I completely forgot! Ill put it out right away. Waitress:Thank you. Pauline and Robert: Thank you!

6. Don asks for some help from his colleague Frank. Don: Say, Frank, do you think you could help me get this projector set up for the meeting this morning? Frank: I wish I could, Don, but Ive got to finish up this report before 9:30. I havent got a minute to spare.

Don: Oh, O.K. Sorry to bother you. Frank: No problem. Maybe you could ask Richard. I think hes free this morning. Don: Thats all right. I guess I can manage it myself.

determine[d0't"m0n] v. [T, I]

to decide; to control or influence directly

They have determined that the conference will be held as scheduled.

obtain[Db'ten] v. [T]

to get

I obtained a very clear result with these experiments.

involve[0n'vAlv] v. [T] to make necessary; to include (someone or something) in something

An accurate analysis involves intensive study.

command[kD'm$nd] n. [C, U] an order

Did he give a command to tear down the wall?

annoyed[D'nC0d] adj. angry

She was very annoyed with me because I hadnt told her about it earlier.

considerate[kDn's0dDr0t] adj. caring about the feelings of other people

It was considerate of you to treat him that way.

slightly['sla0tl0] adv. to some degree

This jacket is slightly more expensive than the red one.

additional[D'd0NDn9] adj. extra; further

Will there be an extra charge for additional passengers?

imperative[0m'pGrDt0v] adj.

(in grammar) expressing a command

Please come over here, Henry is an imperative sentence.

retain[r0'ten] v. [T]

to keep

He managed to retain control of the car on the icy road.

sense[sGns] n. [C, U] feeling

My brother has a good sense of direction. He seldom gets lost.

delete[d0'lit] v. [T, I] to cross out

Miss Lin asked me to delete some words from my composition.

impatient[0m'peNDnt] adj. annoyed patient

He became impatient because he had waited a long time without anyone paying attention to him.

irritated['0rD`tet0d] adj. feeling annoyed and impatient

She got irritated at his impolite behavior.

supervisor['supQ`va0zQ] n. [C]

a person who watches over work to see that it is done properly

Bob got a full-time job as a supervisor at that furniture factory.

spill[sp0l] v. [T, I]

to accidentally pour liquid out of a container

Im sorry I spilled some coffee on the carpet.

Its no use crying over spilt milk.

loan[lon] v. [T] to lend

Martha, could you loan me your camera? I need to take some pictures.

totally['tot90] adv.

very, completely

Her opinion was totally different from the others.

awfully['Cf90] adv.

(informal) very

Im awfully sorry that I caused you so much trouble.

colleague['kAlig] n. [C]

a person whom one works with

Tom and I have been colleagues for years. I enjoy working with him.

spare[spGr] v. [T] to give (time, money, or space) to someone

Can you spare me a few minutes? I need to discuss this matter with you.

merely['m0rl0] adv. only; simply

sticky['st0k0] adj. (informal) difficult; awkward

employee[0m'plC0-i] n. [C] a person who works for someone or some company

guts[gKts] n.

(informal) courage

projector[prD'dIGktQ] n. [C]

a device for showing films or images on a screen

first of all

before anything else

First of all, lets settle on the day for the meeting.

turn down (a radio, a TV set)

to reduce the amount of sound

Would you please turn down the radio? You might wake up the baby.

ask a favor of (someone)

ask (someone) for help

She called to ask a favor of me last night.

stop by

to make a short visit to a person or place

Ill stop by the grocery store to get some sugar and flour.

Here you go.

Here you are.

Sam, would you lend me your notebook? Sure. Here you go.

put out (a cigarette)

to make a cigarette stop burning

This is a non-smoking area. Please put out your cigarette.

determined[d0't"m0nd] adj.

He was determined to do what he wanted to do.

determination[d0`t"mD'neNDn] n. [U]

They carried out the plan with determination.

involved[0n'vAlvd] adj.

The police believed that the four men were all involved in the murder.

involvement[0n'vAlvmDnt] n. [U, C]

Youd better avoid involvement in their family affairs.

commandv. [T, I]

The captain commanded his men to fire.

annoy[D'nC0] v. [T]

What annoyed us was his indifference to our request.

consider[kDn's0dQ] v. [T]

John is considering buying a new car.

consideration[kDn`s0dD'reNDn] n. [U]

Did you take this factor into consideration when you made the decision?

slight[sla0t] adj.

I havent the slightest idea what he is talking about.

add[$d] v. [T, I]

Add a little salt to the soup, please.

addition[D'd0NDn] n. [U, C]

In addition to a microwave oven, we also need a new stove.

supervise['supQ`va0z] v. [T]

One of my jobs is supervising the workers in this department.

supervision[`supQ'v0IDn] n. [U]

Students are not allowed to operate the machines unless they are under the supervision of a teacher.

spilln. [C]

Theyre trying to clean up the massive oil spill on the ocean.

loann. [C, U]

These paintings by Monet are on loan from a museum in France.

total['tot9] adj.

The total cost of the trip was only NT$5,000.

awful['Cf9] adj.

The food they served at that restaurant was awful.