10 Decisions That Probably Saved My Life

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10 Decisions That Probably Saved My Life

By Malan Darras

I was living a pretty bleak existence until I did these 10 things

Copyright 2014. All rights reserved.

http://www.malandarras.com

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Dedicated to the memory of:Charlie Darras, Jeremy Darras and Zachary Darras

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

● Decision 1: Stop DrinkingAfter 2 decades of blackout drinking it was time for me to quit.

● Decision 2: Quit My JobWhy I quit the highest paying job I ever had.

● Decision 3: Move To CaliforniaHow moving to California improved my health.

● Decision 4: Let Go of the PastHow I let go of my childhood trauma and moved on with my life.

● Decision 5: Don’t Have KidsWhy being single and childless is my superpower.

● Decision 6: Switch to MacTransitioning from PC clunkers to Apple UFOs.

● Decision 7: Figure Out NutritionHow I learned to lose and gain weight on command.

● Decision 8: Start Working OutMy definition of “Exercise The Demons”.

● Decision 9: Read BooksWhy school is bullshit and learning is great.

● Decision 10: Be MyselfWhy acting can be a painful profession.

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Foreword:

I would like to personally thank you for taking the time to read this short book. Everythingyou’re about to read is 100% true.

This began as a simple Top 10 list of good decisions for my blog. As I typed them out I dovedeep and revealed way more personal information than I had originally planned.

After reading the final draft I decided I would never post it. It would be locked away as aprivate entry in my journal and nothing else. Because, well… I’d said too much.

But I changed my mind. I decided to put it out there and just see what happened.

The original post received more views than almost any other thing I have written. Peoplefrom all over the world read and shared it across the web. As it turns out, many peopleidentified with the things that I’d always thought only happened to me.

For a guy that has spent most of his life feeling utterly alone - that was pretty cool.

So now I’m offering the post in this book format so that it can be downloaded, emailed,shared and spread to as many people as possible.

These 10 Decisions rescued me from a very dark place and probably saved my life. That isreal.

My hope is that if it reaches you in your time of darkness - you can use a few of theseDecisions (or all of them) as stepping stones to help guide you back into the light.

Because as it turns out. Life doesn’t have to feel like shit,Malan

Website: http://www.malandarras.comFacebook: http://facebook.com/malandarrasdotcomTwitter: http://twitter.com/malandarrasGoogle+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/+Malandarrasdotcom

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10 Decisions That Probably Saved My Life

I was living a pretty bleak existence until I did these 10 things

Today I'm taking a break from the norm and am going to talk about life. Because it's not allabout making money and being in shape. It's about slowly creating a better version ofyourself.

To begin - let's discuss childhood reading materials.

Remember choose your own adventure books? Those books where you make decisions atcertain points that change the outcome of the story? Make the right decision and you discovera buried treasure, make the wrong decision and you get killed by a Troll.

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Your Life is a Choose Your Own Adventure.

Your personal story, as it stands today - is not a result of the city youwere born in, the family you was born into or the things thathappened to you and around you throughout your life.

Your life has been created by you - with every decision that you haveever made. Today we meet as a result of your most recent decision -which was to read this book. Hello my friend.

In this book I'm going to break down 10 decisions that I made thathave helped create the story I'm living today. Which is a better life than I ever dreamed of.

If you are currently lost from a long history of your own decisions - May these ideas serve aslights to guide you on your way out. Because it's all out there, waiting.

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10 Decisions That Probably Saved My Life

Decision 1: Stop Drinking

From the first day I experimented with alcohol (age 13 maybe) drinking was a problem forme. The first time I drank - I had a physical, allergic reaction that made me black out forseveral hours.

By “black out” I mean my brain went to sleep but my body kept operating. I walked andtalked like a normal person but the next day I couldn’t remember anything.

It was like time travel.

One minute I’d be drinking with friends. Seconds later I’d wake up on a sidewalk with no shirton and it would be the next day.

But that wasn’t the problem.

The real problem was that I liked blacking out. Because it helped me escape my problems.And as a teenager dealing with my Dad’s suicide - I had a lot on my mind. When I drank Iwas physically out of control - but mentally I was at peace.

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So I played this game for many years.

Then slowly - the tables turned on me and alcohol (the solution to my problems) and thethings I did during blackouts began to cause more problems than it solved.

So I had to quit.

People had been recommending AA to me for years. So when I decided that the time hadcome - I dove into the program head first and attended 3-7 meetings a week for several years.But to be honest, my life changed almost immediately.

Less than six months after I quit drinking I moved to California, started my online marketingcompany and it exploded out from under me. In less than a year I went from drunken lunaticto thriving creative entrepreneur.

All I needed to do was to face my fears and keep a clear head.

Takeaway:

If drinking is a problem for you - do something about it. Millions of people have gotten soberwho were much worse than you. I once met a man who was so sick from booze that hevomited every time he took a drink. He had no money and couldn’t afford to waste his liquor.His solution was to vomit into his whiskey glass and then drink it again.

Last time we talked, he’d been sober for 20 years. If he can do it, you can too.

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Decision 2: Quit My Job

Before I started doing online marketing full time I had two gigs. I sang in a band and workedas a designer and creative director at marketing agencies.

At my final agency job I made more money than I’d ever made in my life. My boss was oneof my best friends. I had a design team, we worked on million dollar projects. I had healthbenefits and everything else that comes with working a corporate gig.

The decision to quit was terrifying.

This job was the most stable thing I’d ever had in my life and here I was ready to leave it. ButI was always determined to do my own thing - even if it meant making less money.

In October 2008 I put in my two weeks notice and left.

Just a few months later the company fired everyone I worked with and closed thedepartment.

By the time my friends were getting their walking papers - I was living in California with anonline business that was booming. Leaving on my own terms turned out to be one of the bestdecisions I ever made.

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Takeaway:

Quitting your job and working for yourself is highly recommended. But don’t be an idiot. Saveup enough money to live on for 6 months before you quit. And have a solid plan on whatyou’re going to do next.

If you pull it off, it’ll be the most freeing thing you’ve ever done. If it doesn’t work out - you’llhave enough cash saved to buy yourself a nice shirt to wear for your next job interview.

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Decision 3: Move To California

The first day I woke up in California I knew I’d made the right decision. The reasons?

1. It was sunny and 75 degrees2. The sky was clear and blue3. I could breathe

I grew up in Oklahoma. I spent most of my childhood sneezing and coughing. By my teens Ihad developed a system of stuffing tissues up my nose so I could sleep.

Moving to California eliminated the sinus problems I thought I'd have for the rest of my life.And there’s something about palm trees, sunshine and 75 degrees that can make even a badday feel better. And for a guy like me - that’s a pretty big deal.

Takeaway:

Move to California. Yes the taxes and the traffic suck. But everything else is fucking amazing.

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Decision 4: Let Go of the Past

When I stopped drinking I realized that alcohol wasn’t my problem. It was a temporarysolution to my real problem. The real problem was dealing with the suicides of my Dad andmy older brother.

So I did a lot of work and let them go. Then I changed my inner dialogue.

● Instead of telling myself “those events ruined my life”● I admitted that “the way I reacted to those events was ruining my life”

With that simple script edit - I was able to progress.

Today I work on the only part of the situation I can control - Myself and my reactions to thethings (past and present) that happen in my life. I can't change what happens, but I candecide how I react to it.

Takeaway:

If you’re dragging things from your past behind you - it’s time to let go of them and move on.You cannot change the past, but you can change the way you are reacting to your past.

If you need to speak to someone about it, do it. It doesn't have to be a doctor. It can actuallybe a good time. We’re all a bit mad dear, it’s really no big deal.

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Decision 5: Don’t Have Kids

I’ve never been married and I don’t have kids. This has worked out well for me - and for thechildren I would have had if I started early. Let’s just say that having the 25 year old versionof me as your father would not have been a good time.

Being single has given me the opportunity to continuously pursue my dreams. I’ve advancedfurther than I ever imagined I could. If I’d been focusing on a family during this time - Iwould not have been able to do that.

If you have kids and a family that’s great. I’m just not ready for that. I’m still dealing withme. Because if I ever do decide to have a kid. I want to make sure they get the best Dad ever.

Takeaway:

If you’re a train wreck - please don’t have kids yet. Especially if you’re dealing with problemslike alcohol and drugs. No kids deserves to grow up watching that. Fix yourself first - then doit the right way. Regardless of what your mother is telling you - there is no hurry.

If you already have kids. Get your shit together. A parent’s only job is to set a good example.Kids don’t learn from rules, regulations and punishments. They learn from you. And they’regoing to grow up to be just like you. So if you get your shit together - they will too.

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Decision 6: Switch to Mac

I was a PC guy for a long time. I argued with Mac people in the art and design field abouthow Windows was just as good as Mac. I was a proud Windows user.

Then I got an iPhone.

I now have the equivalent of a small Apple store in my home. There are at least 10 Appledevices here that I currently use or am deciding what to do with.

My old PC with windows felt like an old car I had to put oil in every day.

My Mac feels like a teleportation device that I control with my mind.

Takeaway:

Suck it up and buy a Mac. It costs more but it will never break. I’ve never heard of anyonegetting a Mac and then going back to PC. And if they do - they are probably a jackass in thefirst place.

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Decision 7: Figure Out Nutrition

A few years ago I hired a personal trainer. After several months of training he decided Ineeded to get my nutrition together and created a meal plan for me on paper.

I got interested. (And remember, if I decide to learn something - I’ll devote my entire life toit). I studied how food works with the body. I learned the basics of Calories, Macronutrients(fat, carb, protein) and Micronutrients (fiber, potassium, sodium, etc.).

Today I can lose or gain as much weight as I want at any time. I’ve recently experimentedwith dropping from 159 lbs to 149 and am now gaining it back at 1 pound per month. If I dothis right I’ll be 160 lbs of solid muscle by November 2014.

Takeaway:

You can take control of your body. Find out how many calories your body needs per day withthis calculator. Tell it if you want lose weight or gain weight. Eat the number of calories ittells you to eat. Track your calories with MyFitnessPal. If you also want some tone - workouta few times per week.

P.S. I just gave you the foundation to weight loss and muscle building in human beings.Almost everything else is bullshit.

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Decision 8: Start Working Out

I’m a naturally melancholy person. And if I don’t do things to keep myself going I’ll run therisk of disappearing into a black hole. Working out is the best anti-depression medication Ihave ever found.

My scientific results living with and without exercise:

● Being fat and lazy makes me want to die● Working out makes me feel like the Champion of the Universe

That’s really all I need to know.

Takeaway:

If you feel like shit a lot - consider hitting the gym a few days a week. The hardest part is thebeginning. Force yourself to go for the first month. Soon you’ll have to force yourself not togo.

Pick a program you can live with and do it for the rest of your life.

View My Transformation with Before and After Photos

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Decision 9: Read Books

I hated school and books were part of school therefore, I hated books. By age 24 the onlybooks I'd read were a few parts of The Lord of The Rings Series, The Bible and nothing else.

Then I met a girl who read books.

She started giving me books. Lots of them. I read Isaac Asimov, Edgar Allan Poe, CharlesBukowski and Hemingway, author after author, story after story, book after book. For a whileI was burning through a book every 48 hours.

Here is the childish truth about how I learn (still true):

● If you tell me to learn something - I’ll tell you shove it up your ass● If I decide to learn something - I’ll devote my entire life to it

These days I have a book going at all times. I read everything from Business Advice toRock-n-Roll Biographies to Philosophy to Personal Development.

Takeaway:

Reading non-fiction books will make you smarter. If you have trouble focusing that is noexcuse. Sometimes I can only manage to read 1-2 pages per day. But I am always reading.

Remember, school is bullshit - but learning is good. (See 5 books I recommend)

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Decision 10: Be Myself

The most painful thing I ever experienced was trying to be something, or someone that I amnot.

When your life sucks you become an actor. For years I became whoever I was around.Whoever I thought you’d like best. I was never comfortable. I was never myself.

Last year I read a story about a little girl who was having problems at school.

Her teachers said she had too much energy. She was disruptive and could not sit still in class.She was regularly scolded and punished but it didn’t help.

Her teachers persuaded her parents to take her to a doctor and have her put on medication.The doctor interviewed the girl and later told her parents:

“Your daughter is not sick, your daughter is a dancer.”

Instead of being prescribed meds the girl was placed in a dance program where she quicklyexcelled. Years later she became a world famous dance phenomenon and multi-millionaire.

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Takeaway:

Be yourself. Don’t listen to TV, magazines or billboards that attempt to tell you who youshould be. All of those things are fads and by the time you get the haircut - it will already beout of style.

History remembers originals. You were born an original. You will only happen once.

Don’t screw it up.

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In ConclusionThese 10 Decisions helped to change my life. And these days I’m moving in a pretty positivedirection. But be assured I’m no saint - I made hundreds of bad decisions that could have costme everything along the way.

As you can see I didn't mention 'Fall in Love' in that list. That's one of the many things I amstill trying to figure out.

To be very honest

This is not a how-to guide. This is me - humbly sharing some major decisions that helped mein my personal life. I HOPE you can use some of them. But I am by no means telling youwhat to do.

Actually - maybe you could help me?

● What decisions have you made and where have they taken you?● Do you struggle with any of these 10 things? If not, then anything else?● Are you caught in a web of bad decisions?

Remember: It's Your Life. And it’s never too late to change your mind.

Even if you’re clutching a trembling whiskey glass, preparing to drink your last shot of vomit.

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To get in touch - please visit:

Website: http://www.malandarras.comFacebook: http://facebook.com/malandarrasdotcomTwitter: http://twitter.com/malandarrasGoogle+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/+Malandarrasdotcom

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