HelenBrooks

TheBillionaire’sMarriageMission

Billionairesalwaysgetwhattheywant!

TravisBlackmightbedarkly,broodinglyhandsome,butasfarasBethisconcernedhe'salsoveryinfuriating!Whatwouldarich,successfulandcharmingmanlikehimwantwithaquiet,vulnerableandoh-so-ordinarywomanlikeher?

Travissoonmakesthatabundantlyclear.However,Bethisn'tintocasualaffairs--sothisisonebillionairewhowon'tgetwhathewants.Orwillhe?

HelenBrooks

TheBillionaire’sMarriageMission

CHAPTERONE

Asthedoorclickedgentlyshutbehindherthequietsound

registeredwithalltheforceofathunderclaponBethMarton's

ears.Forasecondshefroze,unbelieving;thensheturned,gingerly

pushingagainsttheunyieldingwood.Ofcourseitdidn'tbudge—

butthenitwouldn'twiththelatchhavingsprungshut.

'Oh,no,no.'Bethpushedagain,harderthistime,evenasshetold

herselfitwaspointless.Shewaslockedout.Ifshehadbeen

standingoutsideherflatinLondonthatwouldn'thavemattered.

Therewereatleastacoupleofneighboursalwaysaroundthatshe

couldhavecalledonintheblockinwhichtheflatwassituated,

andoneofthemcouldhavetelephonedhersisterwhohadaspare

keyforemergencies.ButthiswasnotLondon...

Sheglancedsomewhatwildlyabouther,vitallyawareshewasclad

innothingbutbubblegum-pinksilkpyjamaswithspaghetti

shoulderstraps.Thedarkwindynightwasnotencouraging.And

rainwasforecast.

Whenacoldnosenudgedonehandsheglanceddownatthebig

dogwhowassurveyingherwithimpatienteyes.'Iknow,Iknow,'

shemuttered.'We'reouthereandyourdinner'sinthere,butitwas

youwhoinsistedyouneededthelooaminuteago.'

AnditwasherwhohadfollowedHarveyoutsidewiththetorchso

shecouldmakesurehedidn'tdisappearintotheblackness.Which

wasdoublydaftinhindsight,consideringheknewitwasdinner

time—Harvey'sfavouritemomentoftheday—andalsothatthere

wasnowherehecouldreallygo.Thegardensurroundingthelittle

cottageshewasrentingwasallneatlyfenced.

Agustofwindbroughtthesmellofsmokeontheair,reminding

Bethshehadlitthefireinthesittingroomafewminutesbefore.

Andtheguardwasn'tinfrontofitbutstandingtoonesideofthe

slatehearth.

Panickingnow,shescurriedroundtheoutsideofthecottagetosee

ifanyofthewindowsjustmightbeonthelatch,althoughshe

doubtedit.Whenshehadarrivedattheplacehalfanhourago,

travelwearyafterajourneyshewouldn'thavewishedonherworst

enemybuthugelyrelievedtohavefoundtheisolatedbuildingin

thedark,everythinghadappearedshutteredandclosed.After

retrievingthefrontdoorkeywhichhadbeenhiddenunderaplant

potastheagenthadtoldher,shehadluggedallherstuffinside,

onlystoppingtobungperishablefoodintothelittlefridgebefore

shehadstrippedoffforawonderfullywelcomeshower.

Oncethestickinessofthetortuousjourney—whichhadconsisted

oftrafficjamaftertrafficjam-—hadbeenremovedshehadn'tbeen

abletofacethethoughtofdressingagain,andsohadpulledonher

pyjamasbeforeopeningabottleofwineandlightingthefire.

Harvey'senormousbasketestablishedinahandycorner,andatin

ofhisfavouritefoodopeninthetinycottagekitchen,she'dbeen

abouttofeedhimwhenhe'dmadeitplainheneededtobelet

outsideforamoment.

'Ow!'Assheslippedonsomethingsquelchyandendeduponher

bottominsomethingwhichsmeltutterlydisgusting,hereyeballs

rattledwiththejolttohersystem.Theurgetocrywassuddenly

andverychildishlyparamount,butinsteadsherecoveredthetorch

whichhadfallenoutofherhandandstruggledtoherfeet.Harvey

seemedtohavequiteforgottenabouthisdinnerandwasentering

intothisnewgamewithgusto,jumpingaboutherandbarking

delightedly.He'dfoundthelongjourneyfrom Londonto

Shropshireboringbutthiswasaltogethermorelikeit.

Thankfullythetorchstillworked,butBethdidn'tneeditslightto

tellherafoxorbadgerobviouslyskulkedaboutthecottagegarden

atnight.Thesmellonherpyjamasandfluffymulesdidthejob

morethanadequately.

Walkingroundthebuildingtothefrontdooragain,shestoodfora

moment,shiveringinthecoldMaynight.Thedayitselfhadbeen

quitewarm,toowarminviewofthehoursspentstuckunmoving

intraffic,butthenightairhadabitetoitwhichsaidsummer

wasn'tquiteroundthecorneryet.

Shewouldhavetosmashawindowandclimbinsomehow;there

wasnothingelseforit.Bethgazedatthebeautifuloldleadedlights

inthesittingroomwindows.Alltheglasswasthesame,andwhen

shehaddrawnupearlierandadmiredthemullionedeffectshehad

thoughtthentheymustbequitevaluable.Thecottagewastinyand

chocolateboxy,completewiththatchedroof,woodenbeams

throughoutandallthecharmonewouldexpectconsideringitwas

acoupleofcenturiesold.Butcharmdidn'thelpherrightatthis

minute.

Harvey'sstomachwasrumblingandthegamehadlostitsappeal.

Hebegantowhineandwhenanenormouslong-hairedGerman

shepherddogwhineditwasn'tthesameasapoodle.

Bethcouldn'thearherselfthink.‘Allright,allright.'Sheshushed

himwithaclickofherfingers.Shewasgoingtodoaconsiderable

amountofdamageifshesmashedoneoftheselovelyoldwindows

butshecouldn'tthinkofanyothercourseofaction.Asfarasshe

couldrecall,shehadn'tpassedanotherdwellingplaceforsome

milesonceshehadturnedintothelonglanewhichhadeventually

ledtothecottage.Besideswhich,shewashardlydressedtogo

trampingroundtheShropshirecountryside.

Sheshonethetorchonthewindowasshepressedtheglass.Each

windowwasstonemullionedandtheleadedlightsappearedtobe

supportedbysteelbarsbehindthem.Shewasn'tevensureshe

couldclimbinifshedidmanagetobreaktheglass.Ofcourseshe

couldsmashoneofhercarwindowsbutshe'dfreezetodeathin

theretonight,andinthemorningshe'dstillhavethesameproblem,

hercarkeysandeverythingelsebeinginthecottage.

'Oh,Harvey.'Theurgetocrywasback.This,ontopofeverything

elsethathadhappenedlatelywastoomuch.Why,whenshewas

tryingtopickherselfupandsortherselfout,wasshehamperedat

everyturn?Itjustwasn'tfair.ShesniffedmiserablyandHarvey,

nowsensingallwasnotwell,pressedprotectivelyagainstherlegs.

Sheplumpeddownonthedoorstepandputherarmsroundthe

shaggyneck,tearsrunningdownhercheeks.Anditwaslikethat,

huddledintothewarmanimalfur,thatshefirstnoticedmoving

lightsonthehillside.

Someonewasdrivingdownthelaneleadingtothecottage!

Jumpingup,shedashedpasthercarandthesmallareaoflawn

whichmadeupthefrontgardenandopenedthebigswinggate,

holdingHarvey'sleathercollarasshewaitedforwhoeveritwasto

reachthem.Sheshonethetorchanxiouslyintotheroad,hopingthe

vehicleownerwouldn'tjustdrivestraightpast.Itwasn'tasifshe

lookedasthoughshemightbeadangerousmuggerorsomething,

shereasonedfrantically,notinherpyjamas.Butforthatsame

reasonshewantedanypotentialrescuertoseeHarveyandknow

shehadthesortofguarddogitwasn'twisetoignore.Youheard

suchhorriblethingsthesedaysaboutwomenbeingattackedwhen

theyaskedstrangersforhelp.

Itseemedaneternitybeforethecarreachedthembutitcouldonly

havebeenaminuteortwo.Thenbrilliantheadlightslitupthe

darkness,swallowingthemeagrelightfromthetorch.Alarge

estatecarsweptbybeforeBethcouldblink.Foranawfulmoment

shethoughtthedriverhadn'tnoticedthemstandingonthegrass

verge,butthensheheardthescreechofbrakesafterthecarhad

disappearedfromviewroundabendintheroad.Afewseconds

lateritreversedandcametoastopatthesideofthem.

Thewindowwounddownandadeepmalevoice,intonesof

mingledamazementandamusement,drawled,'Whatthedickens

areyoudoingoutheredressedlikethat?'

Enjoyingmyself?Foramomentshealmostlethertongueruleher

brainbeforelogictoldhershehadtogetthisguyonherside,

whoeverhewas.Bitingbackthecausticretortwhichhadsprungto

herlips,shesaidevenly,"Iappeartohavelockedmyselfoutwhen

Iwasseeingtomydog.Idon'tsupposeyou'vegotanythinginthe

carIcouldforcethedoorwith?'Sheswungthetorchinthedi-

rectionofhisfaceasshespokeandsawhimflinchasthebright

lighthithiseyes.'Sorry.'Shelowereditimmediatelybutthebrief

glimpsehadbeenenoughtotellherthemanwasdark-hairedand

youngish;beyondthatshehadn'tbeenabletosee.

'You'reaskingmetodoabitofbreakingandentering?'

AmusementwasdefinitelyparamountnowandBethhadtotakea

deepbreathbeforeshecouldsaysweetly,'Isupposeso,yes.Can

youhelp?'Shewasshiveringfromheadtofootandinaminuteher

teethwouldbeingtochatter,andthisclownfoundthesituation

funny.Theunfeelingso-and-so.

'You'recold.'

Shehopeditwashershakinghehadnoticedandnotthewayher

nippleswerestandingoutlikechapelhatpegsagainstthethinsilk

ofherpyjamatop.Notthatshecoulddoanythingaboutit;she

couldn'tevencrossherarmsoverherchestwithonehandholding

Harvey'scollarandtheotherclutchingthetorch.'Abit,'shesaid

steadily.'WhichiswhyI'dliketogetbackinassoonaspossible.'

Theenginewasturnedoffandthedriver'sdooropened,abig

figureuncurlingitselffromthedarkdepthsofthevehicle.The

nextmomentshewasbeinghandedabulkyjacketwhichmust

havebeenonthepassengerseatbesidehim.'Here,putthison,'he

saideasily,glancingdownatHarveywhohadbegunalow

rumblinggrowlinthebackofhisthroat.

Bethdidn'ttrytostopthedog;infactshemadeamentalnoteto

givehimanextrahandfulofhisfavouritebiscuitsoncetheywere

inside.Themanwastall—verytall—andintimidatinglybroad-

shoulderedandmuscularfromwhatshecouldascertaininthedim

light.Shedidn'tliketoshinethetorchupintohisfaceagaintoget

agoodlookathimbutshewasfeelingdistinctlynervous,beingso

scantilyclad.

Thenextmomentthestrangercroucheddownsothathisheadwas

inlinewithHarvey'spowerfuljaws,hisvoicerelaxedandsoothing

ashesaid,'Steady,boy.Noone'sgoingtoharmyourmistress,'and

offeredahandforthedogtosniff.

Therewasabriefpauseandthentherumblingstoppedandalarge

pinktonguelickedtheman'shandasHarvey'stailwaggeda

greeting.BethwonderedifHarveywouldlookquitesopleased

withhimselfifheknewhe'djustblowntheextrabiscuits.

'Nicedog.'Themanstoodupandstretchedoutahand,saying,

'Givemethetorchwhileyouputthecoaton.'

Bethdidn'tseeanypointinarguing.Ifhewasgoingtohitherover

theheadwithsomethingandhavehiswickedwaywithher,it

mightaswellbethetorchasanythingelse.ClearlyHarveywas

goingtobenohelpwhatsoever.

Themanpushedpastherandwalkedtothecottagedoorasshe

slippedthejacketon.Itdrownedher,butrightatthismomentthat

wasverywelcome.Shefollowedhim,Harveytrottingatherside,

andwatchedashefirsttriedthedoorandthenwalkedroundthe

buildingcheckingeachwindowasshe'ddone.Ofcoursehedidn't

endupsittinginfoxorbadgerdung.

Whenhere-emergedfromthebackofthecottageBethsaidalittle

testily,'I'dalreadytriedallthewindows.'

Hedidn'tcommentonthis.Whathedidsaywas,'What'sthat

terriblesmell?Rawsewage?'

'Islippedoveratthebackofthehouse.Ithinkananimalhadbeen

there.'

'Andhow.'Hedidn'tbothertotrytohidehisamusement.

Shewasn'tabouttostandinthewindandcolddiscussinghowshe

smelt.Andhehadn'texactlybeenagentlemantomentionitinthe

firstplace.'So,canyougetmein?'sheaskedshortly.'It'sfreezing

outhere.'

'Probably,butIdon'tintendto.There'snopointinforcingthedoor

orawindowandcausingaconsiderableamountofdamagewhen

youcancontacttheagentinthemorningandaskthemtocallby.

ThisplaceisrentedbyTurner&Turner,isn'tit?Thelocalestate

agent?'

'Yes,but—'

'SoIsuggestyoucomebacktomyplaceandgetagoodnight's

sleepandwe'llsortitinthemorning.Youhaven'tgotanythingon

thestoveinthere,haveyou?Nothing'sgoingtocauseaproblem?'

Washemad?Shewouldnomorethinkofgoingbackto'hisplace'

thanflyingtothemoon.Stifflynow,Bethsaid,'Ilitafire.Ican't

leaveit.'

'Youalreadyhave,'hepointedoutsilkily.

'Theguardwasn'tinfrontofit.'

'There'shardlyanysmokecomingoutofthechimneysoit's

probablydyingoutalready.It'llbeallright'

Sonowhewasanexpertonfires?'Ican'tpossiblyjustwalkaway;

youmustseethat?'

'Ofcourseyoucan.'Thecommentabouttheestateagenthadtold

herhemustbealocal,andthiswasconfirmednowwhenhe

added,'IknowJohnTurner;I'llcallhimmyselfinthemorningand

explainthesituation.You'llbebackinbyteno'clock.He'dprefer

thatthanbreakingandentering,I'msure.'

Shedidn'twanttobebackinbyteno'clock,shewantedtobeback

innow.'Ifyouknowhim,can'tyouphonenow?'

Shecouldseethesilhouetteofhisheadshakingashesaid,'Nocan

do.FridaynightisJohn'ssnookernightwiththelads.Nothinggets

inthewayofthat.'

Thiswasabsolutelyridiculous.'Icouldn'tpossiblygohomewith

you,Mr...?'

'Black.TravisBlack.Whycouldn'tyoucomehomewithme,

Miss...?'

'Myname'sBethMartonandI'mnotinthehabitofaccepting

overnightaccommodationwithcompletestrangers,'shesaid

tightly,refusingtoacknowledgeHarvey,whohadsethimself

downatthesideofTravisBlackforalltheworldasthoughhewas

hisdoginsteadofhers.Thetraitor.

'We'renotstrangers,we'veintroducedourselves.'Itwaslazyand

theamusementwasbacktenfold.'AndrestassuredI'mnotso

desperateforfemalecompanythatI'veseizedonyourunfortunate

predicamentwithrapeandpillageinmind.It'sagenuineoffer;

you'llsleepalone,especiallyinviewofthat...unusualscentyou're

wearing.'

Swine.Dignitywashellishlydifficultinviewofthepinksilk

pyjamasandthesmell,butBethmadeastabatitasshesaid

crisply,'ThankyoufortheofferbutIcouldn't,MrBlack.There's

Harvey,foronething.'

'Iwasn'tproposingyoutiehimupandleavehimhere.Ofcourse

hecomestoo.'Heturnedatthispoint,beginningtowalkbackto

hiscar.'Still,it'suptoyou.'

'Whereareyougoing?'Bethknewhervoicewastooshrillbutshe

couldn'thelpit.Hewasn'tgoingtojustleaveherhere,washe?No

onewouldbesohard-hearted...wouldthey?

'Home.'Hedidn'tbothertoturnround.'It'slateandit'sbeenalong

day.I'mhungry,tiredandit'sbeginningtorain.Youcancome

withmeorstayhere—it'suptoyou.'

Shedidn'tmoveuntilhehadactuallyseatedhimselfinthecar;she

couldn'tquitebelievehewasjustgoingtodriveoff.Whenhe

startedtheenginesheadmitteddefeat,especiallywiththefew

spotsofrainturningintoasteadydownpour.

Shehurriedacrossthegardentothegate,Harveyboundingather

heels,andtappedonthedriver'swindow.Itlowered.Thistimeshe

keptthelightjustclearofhiseyesbutallowedthetorchtogiveher

aclearviewofhisface.Itwasaninterestingface.Nothandsome

exactly—itwastooruggedforthatandthebrightlightshowedup

ascarononechiselledcheekbone,butithadsomethingwhich

wouldmakeanyred-bloodedwomantakeasecondglance.His

hairwasebony-blackbutshecouldn'tdeterminethecolourofhis

eyeswiththebrightnessofthelightdistortingeverything.

'Ican'tstayouthereallnight,'shemuttered."Theremightnotbe

anyoneelsepassby.'

'Surefirebet,'heagreedpleasantly.'Myhouseistheonlyother

buildingalonghereandthelanefinishesatmyfrontgarden.'

Andhehadjustbeengoingtodriveoffknowingthat?'WheredoI

putHarvey?'sheaskedstiffly.

Inreplyhegotoutofthecarandopenedthebackoftheestate.

Harveyjumpedinandsettledonthebigblanketthereasthoughhe

hadbeendoingitallhislife.BethglaredattheanimalasTravis

pulledthedoordown.Hethenwalkedroundthevehicleand

openedthepassengerdoorforherwithoutsayingaword,butshe

justknewhewassmilinginside.

Sheslidin.'Thankyou.'Itwassaidthroughgrittedteeth.

'Mypleasure.'Heclosedthedoorverygently.

Oncehehadjoinedherinthecarshebecameevenmoreawareof

theheightandbreadthofhimandfeltallthemorevulnerable

becauseofit.Shealsobecamerathermoreawareofthetruly

disgustingsmellemanatingfromherclothes.'IhopeIdon'tspoil

theseat,'shesaidinasmallvoiceasthecarbegantomove.She

hadnoticedthecarwasatopoftherangeMercedesEstate.Shebet

itwasthefirsttimethebeautifulinteriorhadbeensubjectedto

suchabuse.

'It'sleather;it'llspongedownifnecessary.Oncewegettomy

placeyoucanhaveashowerandI'llsortoutsomethingcleanfor

youtoputon.Itwon'tbepink,though,'headded,deadpan.

'Notyourcolour?'Bethaskedinthesametone.

'Clasheswithmyeyes.'Hegrinnedwithoutlookingather.

'Right.'Hewastryingtoputheratherease.And,shereminded

herself,hewasprovidingaroofoverherheadforthenightandif

hehadn'tcomealongshewouldhavebeeninarealfix.'Thisis

verykindofyou,'shesaidbelatedly.

"That'smeallover.Orphans,strays,lostsheep...'

'Yeah,right.'Hewasjokingbutthewayshewasfeelingitwasa

littletoonearthemark.Bethforcedallemotionoutofhervoiceas

shesaid,'IfyoursistheonlyplaceonthisroadIwasluckyyou

camealong.'

'EspeciallyasIdon'tlivehereallthetime.Imostlyworkandlive

inBristol.'

'Oh,yes?'Sheglancedatthehardprofile.'Whatdoyoudo?'He

wasn'tthetypeofmanyoucouldeasilypinalabelon.

'Industrialdesign.'

Thatcoveredathousandandonepossibleavenues,butashisvoice

hadbeendismissiveBethdidn'tliketoaskwhathespecialisedin.

Insteadshesaid,'Soyourhomehereisasortofweekendplace?'

'Moreofabolt-hole,'hesaidshortly.'Andyou?Doyouwork?'

Shenodded.'AlthoughI'mtakingabreakforawhile.I'man

architect.'

Shewaitedforthesurprisewhichnormally—and,asfarasBeth

wasconcerned,unflatteringly—followedthisstatementwhenshe

wastalkingtoamansocially.Asfarasthemaleraceseemedto

think,thefactthatshewasslenderandfinelybonedwithhoney-

blondehairandbigblueeyesprecludedherfrom havinga

professionwhichinvolvedvisitingconstructionsitesanddealing

withbuilders,amongotherthings.Theleastoftheoffenders

usuallyattemptedtohidetheiramazementandsaysomethinglike,

'Really?Howinteresting,'astheyeyedherupanddownblankly.

Theworstguffawedandsaidtheydidn'tbelieveit.

Travismerelynodded.'Workforapracticeorlocalauthority,or

freelance?'

'Apractice.They'reholdingmyjobforsixmonths.'

She'danticipatedmorequestionsbutwhennonewereforthcoming

settledmoreeasilyintoherseat,havingbecomeawareshewas

holdingherselfastautaspianowire.Thetreeseithersideofthe

narrowlaneformedacanopyoverheadandthenightwaspitch

black,thecar'spowerfulheadlightscuttingthroughthedarkness

butsomehowemphasisingthelonelinessofhersurroundings.Her

stomachkeptflippingoverlikeapancakeonShroveTuesday.

Andthensuddenlythereweremassivegatesinfrontofthem

whichTravisopenedbyremotecontrolwithinthecar.Theydrove

throughontoapebbleddriveandalmostimmediatelythevista

openedupandBethsawalargehouseahundredyardsorsointhe

distance.

Shedidn'tknowwhatshehadbeenexpecting—probablyacottage

similartotheoneshewasrentingorsomethingalittlebigger—but

itwasn'tthismansionofaplaceinwhatwasvirtuallyasmallpark.

SheglancedatTravis—aquicklook—buthiseyeswereonthe

windscreen.Asbolt-holeswent,thiscertainlywasn'tthenorm.

Mindyou,shewasbeginningtothinkTraviswasn'texactlythe

normeither,shethoughtruefully.

Well-tendedlandscapedgroundsstretchedeithersideofthe

windingdrive,andbythetimetheydrewupinthehorseshoe-

shapedpebbledareainfrontofthehouseBethhadtoadmit

privatelytobeingsomewhatoverawed.Evenifshehadbeen

dressedtotheninesandperfectlycoiffuredshe'dhavefeltabit

intimidated,shetoldherselfsilently.Asitwas...

HerthoughtsmadeitallthemoreincongruouswhenTravisexited

thecarandwalkedroundthebonnettohelpheroutofdievehicle

asthoughtheywereonadateorsomething.Shetriedtobeas

gracefulanddignifiedaspresentcircumstancesallowed—which

wasn'tsayingmuch.

Outsidelightssituatedatthefrontofthehousehadclickedon

automaticallyasthey'darrived,but,flusteredasshewas,Bethhad

beenconcentratingontheabsurdityofhersituationotherthan

anythingelse.Now,assheslidoutoftheMercedeswithhiswarm

handsupportingher,shelookedathim—reallylookedathim—for

thefirsttime.Alittleboltofelectricitycausedherbreathtocatch

inherthroat.Grey,shethoughtinconsequentially.Hiseyesare

grey.

"What'sthenameofyourdog?'

"What?'Thecoolvoicehadregisteredbutherscrambledbrain

hadn'tbeenabletocompute.

Yourdog?'herepeatedpatiently.

Shebecameawareofthebarking.Harveywastakingexceptionto

beingstuckinthevehiclewhentheywereoutside."Oh,Harvey.

Hisname'sHarvey.'

'Isuggestyougetreadytoreassurehim.He'llbemeetingmydogs

inamomentandI'dpreferhimtobefriendly.'

Theslighthiccupinherthoughtprocessescausedbythepiercing

qualityofthedeepgreyeyesfringedbyspikyblacklashes

evaporated.'Harveyisalwaysfriendly,'shesaidtightlybeforeshe

realiseditdidn'texactlyreaffirmhisguarddogpersona.

'Good.ShebaandSkyaren't.'

Thenextmomenthehadopenedthebackoftheestatecarand

Harveyhadjumpeddownand,beforeshecouldaskhimwhathe'd

meant,hewasturningthekeyinthelockofthefrontdoor.

Immediatelytwogrizzlybears—orthatwaswhattheylookedlike

toBeth—boundedontothedrive.

Therewasatensemomentortwo,onBeth'sside,whilethetwo

dogscircledHarvey,buthiswaggingtailandlollinggrindidn't

falter.Withinsecondsthethreedogswereinspectingeachother's

rearendsandintroducingthemselves.Bethsighedwithrelief.

'They'relovely,'shesaidunconvincingly,keepinghereyeonthe

dogsincasetheysuddenlydecidedtogocannibalandgiveHarvey

ahardtime.'Whatarethey?'

'Apartfrombeingfemale,Ihaven'taclue,'Travissaideasily,

clickinghisfingers,atwhichsignalbothdogsshottohissideand

satdown."Theyweredumpedbythesideofaroadinacardboard

boxatfiveorsixweeksold.Afriendofminesawtheincidentand

somethingmadehimgobackandlookinsidethebox.Thevet

reckonsthere'sanumberofbreedsinthere,butwho'scounting?'

Whatevertheirpedigree,Harveyseemedtofindthetwodogs

attractive.Bethnoticedhe'dgoneintomachomanmodeashe

sauntereduptoTravisandleeredatthetwofemales.

AstheyenteredthehouseBeth'sfirstimpressionwasoneofspace

andmellowwood.Thelargehallwasoakfloored,aswasthewide

curvingstaircasewhichledtoagalleriedfirstfloor.Thewalls

werelightwithseveralmodernpaintingsprovidingvividsplashes

ofcolour,andjustasmalloaktable,eithersideofwhichstoodtwo

upholsteredhardbackedchairs,brokethecleanlines.

'I'msureyou'dliketoshowerandchangewhileIfeedthedogs.

HasHarveybeenfedyet?'Traviswaswalkingtothestaircaseas

hespokeandhisdogsstoppedatthefootofit.Presumablythey

weren'tallowedupstairs.

No,hehasn't.Iwasjustabouttogivehimhisfoodwhenwegot

lockedout.'BethfollowedTravisupthestairsaftertellingHarvey

tostay.Hemadenoobjection,plonkinghimselffirmlyinthe

middleofthetwofemales,whereheappearedquitecontent.So

muchfortheguarddogroutine.

Theoakfloorcontinuedalongthegalleriedlandingand,after

leaningovertomakesureHarveywasstillbehavinghimself,Beth

joinedTraviswherehewasstandingbyanopenbedroomdoor.

'You'llfindsomeT-shirtsandjoggingbottomsinthewardrobeand

aguestrobebehindthebathroomdoor,'hesaideasily.'Make

yourselfathome.There'splentyofhotwater.Whenyou'reready,

comedownstairsandfindmein£hekitchen.Doyoulikespaghetti

Bolognese?'

What?Oh,yes.Yes,thankyou.'Terriblyflustered,Bethstepped

intotheankle-deepcreamcarpetofwhatwasobviouslyaguest

roomandTravisshutthedoorbehindher,leavingheralone.She

gazedaroundher.Thecoffeeandcreamroomhaddefinitelybeen

decoratedandfurnishedbysomeonewithminimalisttaste,butit

wasbeautiful.Shesuspectedthewholehousewouldbebeautiful.

Gingerly,asthoughshewasgoingtoleaveatrailofdirtand

destruction,shemadeherwayovertotheopendooroftheensuite

bathroom,whichreflectedthecoloursofthebedroom,andpeered

intothehugemirrorstretchingoverapairofbasins.

Shegroanedoutloudatthereflectionstaringbackather.Notonly

wereherpyjamasandslipperstheworseforwear,butalarge

smearofmud—atleastshehopeditwasmerelymudandnotwhat

she'dslippedin—haddepositeditselfonthesideofherface.Her

hairhaddriedinatangledriotinthewindandhermake-upfree

facewasshinywhereitwasn'tfilthy.Shelookedlikesomething

thecatwouldn'tdeigntodragin.Notevenifitwasdesperate.

Tenminuteslatershefeltmorelikeherself.Shehadfoundface

andbodylotionalongwithshampooandconditionerinthe

bathroomcabinet,andonceshewasclean,moisturisedandsweet-

smellingeverythingdidn'tseemsobad.Afterblow-dryingherhair

intoitsnormalsilkyshoulder-lengthbob,shefoundsomewomen's

T-shirtsandjoggingbottomsneatlyfoldedinadrawerinthe

otherwiseemptywardrobe.Fleetinglyshewonderedwhothey

belongedto.Hisgirlfriend,maybe?shethoughtassheputherown

thingsinwater.

Right,timetofacehimagain.Shepaddeddownstairsinbarefeet,

awarethatherstomachwasjumpingwithtrepidation,whichwas

daft,reallydaft,butshedidn'tseemabletohelpit.

Onceinthehall,shestaredabouther.Travishadsaidsheshould

joinhiminthekitchenbuttherewereseveraldoorsleadingoffthe

expanseinfrontofher.Assumingthekitchenwasprobablyatthe

backofthehouse,shemadeherwaydownthehalltowardsthe

furthestdoorandknockednervouslyjbeforesheopenedit.'Hello,

it'sme,'shesaidunnecessarily.

'Hi.'Traviswasstirringsomethingonthestove,thethreedogs

lyingathisfeet,apparentlyrepleteandcontent.Harveywaggedhis

tailatthesightofherbutdidn'tbothertogetup.'Grabaseat,'

Traviscontinued,'andpouryourselfaglassofwine.'

Shewasconsciousofonepiercinglythoroughglancebeforehe

turnedbacktothestove.That,andthesightofthebigpowerful

bodyclothedinablackcottonshirt,openattheneck,andblack

denimjeanswasenoughtomakeherallfingersandthumbsasshe

satdownatthebigfarmhouse-stylekitchentableandreachedfor

theopenbottleofwine.

Largethoughthetablewas,itwasswallowedbytheroomy

capaciousnessofthekitchen.Thestone-flaggedfloor,honey-

colouredwoodencupboardsandgraniteworksurfaceslookedlike

ablendingofoldwithnewbutitwasverypleasingtotheeye.The

winewasverypleasingtothetastebuds.Deepredandwith

aromasofblackcurrantandcherry,Bethfounditsteadiedher

nervesnicely.

Afterseveralsipsshewassufficientlycalmtosayevenly,"Isthere

anythingIcandotohelp?'

'Notathing.It'sready.'Withinamomenthehadwhiskedtwo

platesofspaghettiBologneseovertothetablealongwithadishof

lightlyroastedvegetables.Bern'smouthwatered.AsTranssat

downhesaidmatter-of-factly,'Youcleanupnicely.Morethan

nicely.'

"Thankyou.'Sheknewshehadturnedanunflatteringshadeofred

anditwasannoying.Itwasn'tasthoughshewasastrangerto

complimentsfromthemaleofthespecies;itwasjustthatthis

particularmalewasaltogetherdisturbing.Whichwasthelastthing

intheworldsheneededrightnow.'Andthanksforfeedingus,'she

added,indicatingHarveywithawaveofherhand.'Ireallydidn't

intendtoputyoutosomuchtroublewhenIwavedyoudown

earlier,'shefinished primly.Thegrey eyessurveyed her

expressionlessly.Inthebrightlightofthekitchenhisfacewas

ruggedandattractive,fullofwrysharplydefinedplanesandangles

whichthescardownonecheekheightened.Hisnosewasstraight,

histhickbrowsandeyelashesthesamecoalblackashishair,and

hismouthwassexy.Thislastthoughtwasunwelcomebutitwas

true.TravisBlackexudedacynicalkindofsexinessthatwas

overwhelminglymagneticandBethfelthertoescurlwiththeforce

ofit.

'We'reneighbours,'hesaidlazilyafteratensemomentortwohad

creptby.'Albeittemporarily.ItwastheleastIcoulddo.I'dhope

someonewouldbehavethesameifmysisterfoundherself

stranded.'

Hehadasister?Ridiculous,becauseprobablymadaxemenandall

mannerofne'er-do-wellshadsisters,butitwasreassuring

somehow.Bethhidbehindaneutralsocialsmilewhichcouldhave

meantanythingasshestudiedhim.'Howoldisyoursister?'she

asked.

'Sandra?Shehadherthirtiethafewweeksago.She'sprobablystill

celebrating,knowingSandra.She'sapartyanimal,toputitmildly.'

'Youdon'tapprove?'Therehadbeensomethinginhisvoicewhich

hadsuggestedthis,althoughnothingshecouldputherfingeron.

Butshecouldbewrong;hewasascompletestrangerafterall.

Heshruggedmuscledshoulders,expertlyforkingamouthfulof

spaghettiintohismouthandswallowingbeforehesaidlazily,

'She'sagrownwomanwithalifeofherown.'Itwasn'treallyan

answer.BethtriedtheBolognese.Itwasabsolutelydelicious.As

cookingwasoneofherleastfavouritethings,she'dalwayshad

enormousrespectforsomeonewhocouldtakeordinaryingredients

andturnthemintosomethingspecial.Herfoodvariedbetween

beingoverdone,underdoneorjustplaininedible.

'Thisislovely,'shesaidalittlegrudgingly.Traviswasclearlyone

ofthosemenwhowouldbegoodatanythinghesethismindto.

LikeKeith.Thethoughtbroughtherupsharpandsheslammed

shutthatparticularlittledoorinherheadandhungthe'donot

enter'signbackinplace.

'Thankyou.'

Therewasaslightlyquizzicalnoteinhisvoice.ToolateBeth

realisedherwordsprobablydidn'taddupwiththeexpressionon

herface.Shesmoothedoutthefrownandforcedasmile.'Ican't

cookfortoffee,'shesaidlightly,'andI'malwaysmadlyjealousof

anyonewhocan.'

Henoddedbutsaidnothing.Bethgotthedistinctimpressionthat

hehadn'tbelievedher.Sheopenedhermouthtosaymoreandthen

shutitagain,consciousthattheoldmaximofleastsaid,soonest

mendedmightringtruehere.Anyway,shehadneverbeenagood

liar.UnlikeKeith.

Reachingforherwine,shedrainedtheglass,herknucklestight

roundthestem.Relax,relax,shetoldherselfsilently.

Travisrefilleditsilentlybeforeleaningbackinhischairand

saying,'Isitmeorareyoualwaysthisjumpywhenyouspendthe

nightinastrangeman'shouse?'

Shesmiled,morenaturallythistime.'Areyoustrange?'sheasked,

fallinginwithhismood.

"Ithasbeensaidinthepast.'Hegrinnedandthesexinesswentup

afewnotches.

Bethtoldherselfshehadnotnoticed.'ThenI'lljusthaveowatch

mystep.'Shesmiledagainandthenappliedherselfothefood.The

soonershefinishedthemealandcoulddisappearupstairstoher

room,thebetter.Shedidn'twanttodofriendlyorflirtyoranything

else.

Sheatequickly,keepinghereyesonherplate.Itwasgreatofhim

tostepintothebreachandofferherabedforthenight,shetold

herselfsilently,butshe'dhavebeenmorethancontenttopayfor

thedamagehadheforcedthecottagedoororawindow.Andshe

wouldhavemuchpreferredthat.Ungrateful,maybe,butthatwas

howshefelt.

'Soareyourentingthecottageforafullsixmonths?'

They'dfinishedthefoodinsilenceandnow,asTravisputdown

hisforkandpickeduphiswineglass,Bethnervedherselftomeet

thecoolgreygaze.Shenodded.'Thatwastheminimumperiod

possible,'shesaidshortly.

'It'saverylonelylocation.'

'That'swhatIlikedaboutit.'Hewaslookingatherinan

uncomfortablyspeculativewayandafteratensemomentortwo

sheadded,'Ihaven'tbeenwellrecently.Iwantedacomplete

changeforawhile.'

'Youcan'tgetmorecompletethanHerbCottage.'

Bethmadenoreplytothis,finishingherwineandstandingup

quickly.'Ifyoudon'tmind,I'llturninnow,'shesaidawkwardly.'It

wasanawfuljourneyearlierandI'mtired.'Shesoundedboorish

eventoherownears.

'Ican'ttemptyoutosomepudding?'Travissaidmildly.'There's

hazelnutpieorapplecrumble.'

Sheshookherhead.'No,thanks.'SheglancedatHarvey,who

hadn'tmovedsomuchasapaw.'Wheredoyouwanthimtosleep?'

'Oh,he'llbeddownwiththegirls,'Travissaideasily.'Heseemsto

havesettledinjustfine.'

Toofineinheropinion.ConsideringHarveyhadbeenprotectiveto

thepointwhereitcouldhavebeenaproblemoverthelastfew

months,henow seemed to haveabandoned her.Feeling

ridiculouslyputout,Bethsaidtensely,'Well,thanksagain.We'll

beoutofyourhairassoonaspossibleinthemorning.'

'There'snorush.'

Oh,yestherewas.Hehadstoodupwhenshe'drisenandhelooked

verybigandverymale.Andattractive.Definitelyattractive.

Appalledbythedirectionherthoughtsweretaking,Bethtold

herselfshewasovertired.'Goodnight,'shemumbledhastilyand

fledthekitchenbeforeheevenhadachancetoreply.

CHAPTERTWO

Thebedwassupremelycomfortable,itwasquietandIpeaceful

andshewasaswarmastoast.BethturnedoverforItheumpteenth

timeandaskedherselfwhyshecouldn'tsleep.Shewasexhausted,

therewasnodoubtaboutthat,buthermindwasbuzzing.She

groanedsoftlyandburiedherfaceinthepillow,gettingmore

annoyedwithherselfwitheachpassingmoment.

Shedidn'twanttothinkaboutKeithandnormallyshecouldkeep

himveryfirmlyatbaythesedays,sowhywassherakingupold

woundstonight?She'dthoughtshewaspastallthat.

Itwashim—TravisBlack.HeremindedherofKeith.Ifshewas

beinghonest,however,shecouldn'tthinkwhy.Certainlythetwo

menwerenotalikephysically.Keithwasblondandblue-eyedwith

awarmboyishsmileandatotallyunthreateningmasculinitywhich

hadneverthelessbeenveryengaging.Shehadfallenheadover

heelsinlovewithhimthefirstmomenttheyhadmetwhenhe'd

walkedintotheoffice.Andhe'dsaidhe'dfeltthesame—hadsaid

headoredher,worshippedher.

Stupid.Bethsatupabruptlyandranherfingersthroughher

rumpledhair.Really,reallystupid.Sheshouldhaveknownthata

successful,handsomeentrepreneurlikeKeithWrightwouldhave

morestringstohisbowthanacompanyofconcertviolinists.But

shehadtrustedhim.Shehadlovedhimandshe'dtrustedhim,it

wasassimpleasthat.Biggestmistakeofherlife.

Comeon,stopthis.You'reovertheworst,youdon'tdopost

mortemsonKeithanymore.Theadmonitionwasthereinher

mindbuttonightshecouldn'tstemthememoriesfloodingin.

They'dhadalow-keywedding.Keithhadwanteditthatwayand

shehadbeensogloriouslyhappyshe'dhavegotmarriedin

sackclothandashesifhe'daskedherto.Asitwas,she'dworna

powder-bluesuitandlargehat,andeveryonehadsadshelooked

radiant.

KeithhadwhiskedherofftotheBahamasfortwoweekssadthey

hadreturnedtoliveinhismodernapartmentontheoutskirtsof

London.Theoriginalplanhadbeentostartlookingforahouse

straightaway,butastheweeksandmonthshadslippedbyithad

neverhappened.Keithhadsaidtherewasplentyoftimeandshe

hadagreedwithhim.Whentheydecidedtostarttryingforababy

inthefuture,theywouldtankaboutahouse.Untilthentheywere

happyastheywere.

Andthenoneterriblenighthersisterandbrother-in-law,Michael,

hadturnedupattheirapartment.White-facedandtremblingfrom

headtofoot,Catherinehadtoldhertheirreservedparentshadbeen

killedinahead-oncollision.Twoeighteen-year-oldjoyridersina

stolencarhadveeredacrossthemotorway,causingalorryto

swervetoavoidthem.Indoingscthelorrydriverhadlostcontrol

ofhisvehicleandherparentshadploughedintoit.Thelorrydriver

hadcutsandbruisesandthejoyridersnotascratch.Neitherhad

theyanyremorse.Thenewshadattractednationwidepublicity,as

muchbecauseoneofthejoyridershadafamousrockstarbrother

asanythingelse.

AdayortwoaftersheandKeithandCatherineandMichaelhad

beeninterviewedbythepressonthestepsofthecourthouseatthe

finishofthetrial,thejoyridershavingreceivedthemaximum

sentencepossible,shehadreturnedhomefromworktofinda

youngwomanwaitingoutsidetheapartment.

Therecentpast,assheandCatherinehadbattledtocometoterms

withthesuddenlossoftheirparents,hadbeenbadenough,but

nothingcouldhavepreparedherforwhathadfollowed.Theyoung

womanwasKeith'slong-termpartner.Theyhadtwochildrenand

hadbeenlivingtogetherforsevenyears.Onthenightshehadbeen

'away'onbusinesshehad,infact,beenontheothersideof

LondonwithAnna.Andthereweregirlfriendstoo,Annahadtold

herinabitterrage.Therealwayshadbeen.Annahadturneda

blindeyetoKeith'swomenbecauseshelovedhimandhewasthe

fatherofherlittlegirls,butwhenshehadseenhimonthenews

withawife...Onlythedaybeforehehadleftthemallwithhugs

andkissesafterspendingthenightinherarms.She'dhadnoidea

hehadactuallymarriedsomeoneelse.

Bethhadstaredatthedistraughtyoungwomanasherworldhad

comecrashingdownaboutherears.ShehadbelievedAnna

instantly.Latershe'dquestionedwhyandhadcometothe

conclusionthatasAnnahadspokenathousandandonelittle

thingshadsuddenlycomeintosharpfocus,startingwiththeirquiet

no-fussweddingtwelvemonthsbefore.Andacoupleofdays

beforeChristmashehadsupposedlyhadtoflyuptoScotlandon

businessandhadbeenunabletomakeitbacktoherbeforeBoxing

Day.OfcoursehehadspentChristmasEveandChristmasDay

withAnnaandhischildren.Wheelswithinwheelsandsocunning.

ThemoresheandAnnahadspoken,themoreshehadrealisedjust

howdeviousKeithhadbeen.Hehadwalkedincmthemsome

timelaterandifevershe'dneededconfirmationthatAnnawas

speakingthetruth,thelookofhorroronKeith'sfacewasit.

Shehadwalkedoutthatsamenightandhadnevergoneback

excepttopickupafewpersonalbelongingswithCatherinewhen

Keithhadbeenatwork.Shehadrefusedtoseeorspeaktohimand

oncehehadrealisedshewasdeadlyserioushehadnotcontested

thedivorce.Butthenhecouldn'thave,notwithherevidence.

CatherineandMichaelhadbeenwonderful,insistingshesaywith

them,butasCatherinewaspregnantwiththeirfirstchildshehad

onlystayedashortwhile.Assoonasshewasableshehadfounda

smallone-bedroomflatandboughtitoutrightwithherhalfofthe

inheritancefromherparents'estate.Ithadtakeneverylastpenny

butshehadneededtomowshehadherownhome.Thedayafter

she'dmovedinCatherineandMichaelhadturneduponthe

doorstepwithHarvey,whohadbeennothingmorethanabundle

offluffwithoutsizepawsandapinktongue.

'Ahousewarmingpresent,'Catherinehadannounced.'AndI'veleft

workIcanlookafterhimonthedayswhenyou'reintheoffice.

Youneedcompanyatnight.OK?'

Shehadprotestedshedidn'twantadogandthatitwouldn'te

practical,butsheknewCatherinewasworriedtodeathabouther

andconvincedshe'dsinkintoabogofdespaironcehwasalone

andithadbeenthatwhichhadpersuadedherIdtakeHarvey.Asit

was,ithadturnedoutthatCatherinewasabsolutelyright.She

didn'tknowhowshewouldhavegotthroughthelasttortuous

eighteenmonthswithouthim.Andherewassomethingimmensely

reassuringinhavingHarveywithheratnightandtakinghimto

someofthemoreisolatedsitesshehadtovisit.Hewassofiercely

protectiveofher.HewasalsoasgoodasgoldwithCatherineand

thebabyonthedaysshewasconfinedtothe-office.

Andso,withHarvey'shelp,shehadbattledonuntilafewweeks

agowhenthecombinedpressureofgriefoverthelossofher

parents,Keith'sbetrayalandthebreakdownofhermarriage,plus

thefactshe'dbeenworkingtoohardsincethedivorcehadfinally

caughtupwithher.Accordingtothedoctor,shehadsufferedsome

kindofminibreakdownandneededacompleterest.

Shehadflatlyrefusedtotakethemedicationhe'dprescribedbut

hadacknowledgedanextendedholidaywouldbenobadthing.

Somewheretotallyquietandisolated,she'ddecided.Astepoutof

time.Somewhereshecouldlearntosleepproperlyagainand

regainherappetite,whereshedidn'thavetoseeasoulifshedidn't

wantto.She'dputherrequirementswithseveralestateagentsand

whenHerbCottagehadcometoherattentionshehadknownshe'd

foundherlittlepieceofEnglishheaven.

Englishheaven!Bethsnortedoutloud,swingingherfeetoutof

bedandwalkingintotheensuitebathroom,whereshepoured

herselfaglassofwater.Ithadn'tseemedlikeheaventonight,

standinginthewindandcold.Onceshewasbackinthecottage

tomorrowshewouldgoandgetanextrakeycutinthenearest

townandhideitinthegardensotherewasneverarepeat

performanceofthistravesty.Shestillcouldn'tbelieveshe'dbeen

sostupid.

Shedrankthewaterandclimbedbackintobed,leavingthebedside

lampon.Thiswasabeautifulroom.Sheglancedaboutherbefore

slidingbackundertheduvetanddeterminedlyshuttinghereyes.It

wasabeautifulhousealtogether.DidTravisBlackoftenbringhis

girlfriendshereforaromanticweekend?Nodoubthehadplenty

ofwomentochoosefrom;hewasthatkindofman.They'dbe

queueingupintheirdroves.

Intheshadoweddarknessherlipcurled.Shebetheknewallthe

rightthingstosay,likeKeithhad.Menalwaysknewwhattosayto

getwhattheywantedbuttheyweren'ttobetrusted.Theysaidone

thingandmeantanother.Atleastacertaintypeofmandid,and

veryoftenoneswhohadanextrasomethingthatwashardto

definebutwhichwasveryreal.

Sheturnedoverinbed,bringingthepillowoverherheadas

thoughshecouldshutoutherthoughtsthatway.Anditwaslike

that,virtuallyburiedinthedownysoftness,thatshefinallywentto

sleep,butnotbeforethefirstraysofmorningwerebeginningto

streakacrossacharcoalsky.

Bethwaswokenthenextmorningbyaloudscratchingatthe

bedroomdoorfollowedbyasharpknock.Shesatboltupright,her

heartpoundingandmomentarilydisorientateduntilinthenext

momentsheremembered.She'dbeenlockedout;thiswasTravis

Black'shouse.Herheartpoundedevenharder.

Whentheknockcameagainshepulledherselftogether,making

suretheduvetwasuproundherchin—inspiteofhavingsleptin

thejoggingbottomsandT-shirt—asshecalled,'Comein.'

"Hi.'AsthedooropenedshewasconsciousofTravisbutitwas

Harveyjumpingontothebedthattookallofherattention.Thebig

dogplonkedhismassivepawsonhershouldersandproceededto

lickherfaceanxiouslyinspiteofherprotests.Whenshefinally

managedtopushhimawayitwastoseeTravisatthesideofthe

bedwithatray.Hisvoiceamused,hesaid,'Harvey'sbeenwhining

andpacingthekitchenforthelasthour.Ithinkhethoughtyou'd

runoffandlefthim.'

Great.Aftercheerfullywavingherofftogoodnessknewwherethe

nightbefore,Harveyhadfinallyrememberedhisobligationsata

timewhenherhairlookedlikeabird'snestandherfacehadn't

wokenup.Ofcourseitwouldn'thavematteredifithadjustbeen

Harveyfindingherbuthe'dhadtogoandbringTravisBlacktoo!

Talkaboutaddinginsulttoinjury.

BethnervedherselftoglanceatTravis.Hewaswearingjeansand

anopen-neckedcreamshirt.Hewasfreshlyshavedandtheblack

hairwasstilldampfromtheshower.Narrow-waistedandlean-

hippedwithshouldersbroadenoughforeventhemostpicky

female,hisauraofmalenesswasoverwhelming.Shefeltatsucha

disadvantagethatspeechseemedtohavedesertedher.She

swallowedhard,wishingshewasanaturalwit.

Travisdidn'tseemtohavenoticed.Ormaybehethoughtshewas

alwaysthisharmless.Bethtriedtothinkofsomethingtosayand

failedmiserably.

'Iwasn'tsureifyoutookteaorcoffeefirstthing.'Travisnoddedto

thecontentsofthetray.Therewasamugofbothalongwithsugar,

milkandasmallplateofplainbiscuits.'Breakfastwillbereadyin

halfanhour,OK?'

'Oh,please,don'tgotoanytrouble.I'lljustphonetheagentguyif

yougivemehisnumberandgetoutofyourhair.I'veimposedon

youenough.'Awareshewasbabbling,Bethcametoanabrupthalt.

From notgettingstarted,nowshecouldn'tstop.Hemustbe

wonderingwhathe'dtakenon.

Deepgreyeyessurveyedherunblinkingly.'I'vealreadytalkedto

Johnandhe'smeetingusatthecottageateleven.Hashbrownsor

sautepotatoeswithyourcookedbreakfast?'

'What?'Hewascloseenoughforhertoscenthismalewarmthand

thefaintesttangofdeliciousaftershave.Itwasdoingcrazythings

toherhormones.'Oh,hashbrowns,please,'shemanagedweakly.

Control.Thiswasallaboutcontrol.

Henodded,placingthetrayonthebedsidecabinetbeforewalking

tothedoor.Harveytrottedalongwithhim.Clearlythebigdoghad

decidedthatasshewasaliveandwellhe'drathergetbacktohis

caninecompanionswhilethegoingwasgood.

Oncethedoorhadclosedbehindthepairofthem,Bethleaptoutof

bedandinspectedherreflectioninthebathroom mirror.She

groaned.Themanwasforeverdestinedtoseeherlookingas

thoughshehadbeenpulledthroughahedgebackwards.

Notthatitmattered,shetoldherselffirmlyinthenextmoment.Of

courseitdidn't.TravisBlackwasnothingtoherandaftertoday

shewouldprobablyonlycatchaglimpseofhiscar,ifanything,as

itpassedinthelaneoutsideHerbCottage.Itwasjustthatinspite

ofherlifebeingashamblesshestillhadherself-respectandpride

inherappearance.

Shegrimacedatthefaceinthemirrorandturnedaway,walking

backintothebedroomanddrinkinghercoffeeatthebedroom

window.Theroomwassituatedatthebackofthehouseandthe

viewoutsidewastremendous.ThegroundsbelongingtoTravis

wereextensiveandwellcaredfor,smoothgreenlawnsandmature

treesandshrubscompetingwithlargeflowerbedswhichwerea

riotofcolourinthebrightsunlight.Butbeyondthedrystonewall

whichborderedthepropertytherewasarollingvistaoftrees,

fieldsandhedgeswhichstretchedformiles,hillsandvalleys

losingtheirseparateidentityastheystretchedintoinfinity.

'Gorgeous.'Bethbreathedouttheword,hereyesfocusingona

littleflockoflong-tailedtitsflittingdelicatelyinthebranchesof

oneofthebeechtreesclosetothehouse.Therewasallthepeace

andtranquillityyoucouldeverwishfor.Whichmadeitallthe

moresurprisingsomehowthatTravislivedhere,albeitonlypart-

time.Hegavetheimpressionofbeingamanwhowouldalways

wanttokeephisfingeronthepulseandbewheretheactionwas.

Andthenshefrownedtoherself.Shedidn'tusuallymake

assumptionsaboutpeopleandyetshecouldn'tseemtostopwhere

Traviswasconcerned.Mentallyshakingtheunsettlingfeeling

away,shefinishedthecoffeeandwentintothebathroomfora

shower.She'dfeelbetterwhenshelookedhumanagain.

Twentyminuteslatershemadeherwaydownstairs,herhaira

shiningcurtaineithersideofherfaceandsmellingofapple

blossomfromtheshampooshe'dfoundinthebathroomcabinet.

Withoutanyperfumeorevensomuchasalipglossinthewayof

make-up,itwasthebestshecoulddo,shethoughtruefully.Infact

shefeltremarkablybohemianwithbarefeetandabareface,notto

mentionherlackofunderclothesunderthejoggingbottomsandT-

shirt.Shealwaysdressedverysmartlyforwork,evenwhenshe

wasgoingonsite—donningWellingtonbootsandthebig

shapelesscagouleshekeptinthecar,shemadesuretheclothes

beneathwereimmaculate.

Powerdressing,Keithhadusedtocallit.Notexactlyinanasty

waybutwithsomeamusement.Shehadcounteredthisbyinsisting

thatinthemaledominatedworldofherprofessiontheimageshe

projectedwasallimportant.Herblondehair,blueeyesand

femininecurveswereenoughtocausesomementodoubther

brainpower—shewasn'tgoingtodressgirly-girlytogivethem

moreammunition.Notthattheyevermadethesamemistake

twice,shethoughtgrimly.Notbythetimeshe'dfinishedwith

them.

Inarepeatofthenightbefore,Traviswasstandingatthestoveas

sheenteredthekitchen,thethreedogsspreadoutathisfeet.Beth

forcedhervoiceintobrightandbreezymode.'Thatsmellslovely.'

Hesmiled.Bethwonderedwhyitwasthatwhensomemensmiled

theyjustsmiled,andwithothersitwaslikewow.Travis'ssmile

wasadefinitewowplus.

'Ithoughtwe'deatinhereagain,ifthat'sOK?'hesaideasily.'Ido

actuallyhaveadiningroom,believeitornot,butthisismore

relaxed.'

Wasthatanotherwayofsayingthiswasinnoway,shapeorform

anythingremotelyresemblingadateandshemustn'tgetthewrong

ideaabouthishospitality?Bethsatdownatthekitchentable.Ifso,

thatsuitedherjustfine.'WithakitchenasniceasthisoneIshould

thinkyoueatinhereallthetime,'shesaidcarefully.'Iwould.'

'Quiteabit,'hesaid,forkingbaconintoadish.

Therewasalreadyacoffee-pot,orangejuice,toastandpreserves

onthetable.NowTravisdeftlyplaceddishescontainingscrambled

eggs,sausages,bacon,friedtomatoes,hashbrownsandvarious

otheritemsoffoodalongsidethem.Beththoughttherewasenough

tofeedanarmy.Shegazedatitinalarm.

'Helpyourself.'Hejoinedheratthetableandimmediatelyher

sensestingledathisnearness.Whichwasannoying,really

annoying.Especiallyashewastotallylaid-back.

'Thanks.'Forthelastfewmonthsshehadn'thadanythingofan

appetiteandhadhadtoforceherselftoeat,oftenasnot.

Itwaswithsomesurprisethatshesuddenlyfoundshewasquite

hungry.Shepiledupherplateandbeganeating.

Thefoodtastedasgoodasitlooked.Thesausagesandbaconwere

crispwheretheyshouldbecrispbutjuicywheretheyneededtobe.

Therestofthebreakfastwasalsoperfect.

Bethhadjustpoppedthelastmorselofegginhermouthandleant

backinherchair,feelingutterlyreplete,whenshebecameaware

thatTraviswasstaringatherwithunconcealedfascination.Butnot

the'Ifancyyoulikemad'kindashiswordsinformedherwhenhe

said,'Forsuchatinylittlethingyoucancertainlypackitaway

whenyouwantto,can'tyou?'

Shewasn'tsureifitwasacomplimentoraninsult.Warilyshe

said,'Itmustbethecountryair;Idon'tusuallyeatmuch,actually.

Littleandoftensuitsmebest.'

'Itwasn'tacriticism.'

Hissmokyvoiceheldamusementandshefeltherselfflush.'I

didn'tthinkitwas.'Shemetthegreygazehead-on.

'No?'Hisbrowsrosemockingly.

'No.'Itwasveryfirm.Toofirm?

'Good.'Heclearlydidn'tbelieveher.'Ican'tstandwomenwho

nibbleonalettuceleafallday,asithappens,'hesaidlazily,

standingandbeginningtocleartheemptydishesintothe

dishwasher.'Incrediblyirritating.'

Ibetthey'rethesortyoudate,though,Beththoughtsourly.

Gorgeousmodeltypeswhowouldlookgoodinanything.He

turnedandcaughtthelookonherfacebeforeshecouldwipeit

away.Heseemedtohaveatalentforcatchingherunawares.

Stoppingwhathewasdoing,heleantbackagainsttheworktopand

foldedhisarms.'Youdon'tlikeme,'hesaidthoughtfully.'Whyis

that,Beth?'

Shecouldfeelherearsburning.Mortified,shemumbled,

'Idon'tknowyou,sohowcouldIdislikeyou?Andyou'vebeen

verykind,takingmeandHarveyin,feedingusandeverything.'

Hemadeacuttingmotionwithhishandbuthisvoicewasstill

contemplativeratherthanconcernedwhenhesaid,'Ithoughtlast

nightyouwerenervousbecauseofthepositionyouwereinandI

couldunderstandthat.Astranger,thetwoofusalonehere...'The

greyeyeswanderedoverherhotface.

Inspiteofheracutediscomfort,Bethregisteredthateyelashesthe

lengthandthicknessofhiswerewastedonaman.

'Butit'snotthat,isit?It'sme.Youdon'tlikeme.'

Hedidn'tsoundatallbothered.Piqueaddeditselftoem-

barrassment.'AsIsaid,Idon'tknowyou.'

Hereachedforadishonthetableinwhichthreesausages

remained.Givingonetoeachofthethreedogs,heplacedthe

emptycontainerinthedishwasherbeforehesaid,'Youdon'tHe

verywell,BethMarton.'

'I'mnotaman,amI?'Itwasoutbeforesheevenhadtimetothink.

Damn,damn,damn.Sheflushedhotly.

Thepiercinggazehomedin.Therewasanear-splittingmomentof

silencebeforehesaid,veryquietly,'Isee.'

Shewantedtorunbutshekepthervoicelowasshestaredathim

defiantly.'Whatdoesthatmean?'

Hetookupthechallengeimmediately.'It'stheanswertowhya

youngwomanwithyourlooksandbrainsisburyingherselfinthe

backofbeyondforawhile,'hesaidcalmly.

Arrogant,self-opinionated,superciliousswine.'Youknownothing

aboutme,MrBlack,sodon'tpretendyoudo.'

'Thename'sTravis,'hesaidmildly,glancingathiswatchbefore

adding,'Andwe'dbetterbemakingtracksifwe'regoingtomeet

John.I'vedugoutapairofoldflip-flopsmysisterleftheresome

timeago,bytheway.Ipresumeyoudon'twanttowadethrough

mudifyoudon'thaveto?'

Itwasthroughgrittedteeththatshesaid,"Thankyou.'

'You'remostwelcome.'Hebowedhishead,hiseyesonher.

Hewasenjoyingthis.Shejustknewhewasenjoyingthewhole

situation.Bethrosewithwhatshehopedwasagooddealof

dignity.'I'llgoandfetchmythingsfromupstairs.'Shepaused.

Muchasshehatedtoask,shecouldn'tverywellletherpyjamas

andslippersdripalloverhiscarpet.'DoyouhaveacarrierbagI

canuse?'sheaddedtightly.'Ileftmyclothesinsoaklastnight.'

'Verywise.'Hereachedintoacupboardandfetchedoutabag.

'Andtheflip-flopsarebythefrontdoor.'

Shenoddedandthensailedoutoftheroomwithhernoseinthe

air.Onceinherbedroom,sheclosedthedoorandleanedagainstit,

shuttinghereyesforamoment.Allthisbecauseshehadmadethe

mistakeoffollowingHarveyoutsidetomakesurehewasallright.

Shemusthavebeenmad.Ifeveradogcouldlookafterhimself,

Harveycould.

Leveringherselfupright,shemarchedintothebathroom and

retrievedhersoddenpyjamasandslippersfromthebasin.They

stillcarriedafaintwhiffofsomethingunmentionable.

'Itdoesn'tmatter,'shetoldherselfoutloud.'Justkeepcalmand

ignoreanythinghemightsay.Inalittlewhileyou'llbebackinthe

cottageandyouneedneverseeTravisBlackagaininthewholeof

yourlife.'

Andthatcouldn'thappenamomenttoosoonasfarasshewas

concerned.Hemighthaverescuedher—inafashion— andina

wayshesupposedhewassomethingofagoodSamaritan,albeita

slightlysarcasticandhead-onchallengingone,buthewasright.

Shedidn'tlikehim.Hewastooselfassured,toohigh-handed,and

thatamusementwithwhichheseemedtoviewherwasdownright

insulting.

Shewasacapableandexperiencedprofessionalwomanwhoheld

downagoodjobandtookcareofherselfjustfine.Well,usually.

Admittedlylastnighthadbeensomethingofahiccupbuteveryone

hadthosenowandagain.Heseemedtothinkshewasanempty

airhead.

Shestuffedherwetthingsintothebag,frowningfiercely.And

nowshehadtofacethisJohnTurner,whoundoubtedlywouldalso

thinkshewasadizzyfemalewhohadlostthesenseshewasborn

with.Lifewassounfairsometimes...

CHAPTERTHREE

Arosy-facedlittleroly-polyfigureofamanwaswaitingoutside

thecottagewhentheyarrivedashorttimelater.Heraiseda

cheerfulhandingreeting,beaming,astheyexitedtheMercedes,

apparentlynotintheleastputoutathavinghisSaturdaymorning

messedup.

'Hello,there!'Hisjovialvoicematchedhisappearance.'Whatato-

do,eh?'hesaiddirectlytoTravis,adding,'andyoumustbeMiss

Marton?Pleasedtomeetyou,m'dear.'

'I'msorryaboutthis.'AsBethshookthelittleman'shandshewas

redwithembarrassment.Notsomuchathavingtocalltheestate

agentoutbutmorebecauseshehadnoticedthesomewhat

speculativeglancehehadshotatTravis.JohnTurnerhad

obviouslyputtwoandtwotogetherandmadetenregardingher

overnightstay.

'Nottoworry.It'seasydone,lockingyourselfout.Mywifedoesit

allthetime.Now,let'sgetyoubackinside,shallwe?'Heswung

roundandopenedthefrontdoorwiththekeyinhishand,adding

overhisshoulder,'Youcomingtothefootballthisafternoon,

Travis?Lookslikeit'llbeagoodmatch.'

'Possibly.'AsJohnTurnerstoodasideforhertoenterthecottage,

Travisremainedstandingwherehewas.

'Thankyouforhelpinglastnight.'Flustered,Bethsnappedher

fingersatHarvey,whohadbeensniffingroundthegardenasshe

added,'Wouldeitherofyoulikeacoffeebeforeyougo?'

'Notforme,thanks.Millionandonethingstodo.'Theestateagent

wasalreadywalkingbacktohiscar.

BethturnedtolookatTravis,convincedhewouldwanttocomein

andmentallywillinghimtosayno.Andthen,whenhedidjust

that,shefeltatotallyunreasonabledartofpique.

'Ifyouneedmyservicesagain,justdonthosepinksilkthingsand

wavemedown,'Travisadded,deadpan,beforeturningand

beginningtowalkaway.

Bethstaredafterhim.Hewasgoing?Justlikethat?Butthen,why

wouldn'the?Shehadmadeitprettyclearshecouldn'twaittosee

thebackofhim,afterall.Butstill...'Theseclothes,'shecalledafter

him.'WhenwillyoubearoundsoIcanpopthembacktoyouafter

I'vewashedthem?'

Heturnedatthegate,surveyingherthroughslitsofbrilliantgrey

lightforamomentortwo,hisfaceexpressionless.'Don'tworry

aboutit,'hesaidlazily.'Sandrahasumpteenpairsofjogging

bottomsandT-shirts;shewon'tmissthose.'

Theywerehissister'sclothes?Thefactthatthisgaveher

satisfactionwasawarninginitself.'Icouldn'tpossiblykeepthem,'

shesaidprimly.'Imustdropthembyatsomepoint.'

Heshrugged.'There'samailboxjustoutsidethegatesforany

lettersandparcelsthatgetdeliveredwhenI'muphere.It'salways

unlocked.Droptheminthereifyoumust.'Histonestatedshewas

beingunnecessarilypedantic.

'Right.'Shenoddedbriskly,maskingtheumbrageshewasfeeling

athiscompletedisinclinationtoanymorecontact.'I'lldothat.'

Harveywaswhiningslightlyathersideandshekeptherhandon

hiscollar.Thedogobviouslydidn'twanttosee

Travisleaveandshewouldn'tputitpastHarveytogogalloping

afterhimifsheletgo.'Goodbye,then.'

'Goodbye,Beth,'Travissaidsoftly.'Itwasnicemeetingyou.'

Therestofthedaywasadefiniteanticlimax.Itdidn'ttakemore

thanhalfanhourtosettleintohertemporarynewhomeand,after

rakingouttheashesofthefireandlayinganewonereadytobelit

thatevening,BethtookHarveyforalongwalkinthewoods

surroundingtheproperty.

TheMaydaywasanotherwarmoneandafteracoupleofhours

thepaththeywerefollowingdroppedsteeplybesideatinystream

thatburroweditswayoutofthehillside.Bethsatonthegrassy

bankasHarveycavortedinthewater,hissplashingoffendingthe

birdsinthetreessurroundingthem,whoshowedtheirdispleasure

bygivingalarmcallsandtheoddboutofmadfluttering.

InspiteofHarvey'santicsitwasverypeaceful.Beth,herback

restingagainstanancientoaktree,allowedhermindtowander,

anditwasafullminutebeforesherealisedthatallshewas

thinkingaboutwasTravisBlack.Whichwascrazy—worsethan

crazy.Shedidn'tknowwhathadgotintoher.

Shesatupstraight,annoyedwithherself.Hehadbeenkind,she

hadtogivehimthat,butthewholeepisodewasnowaclosed

chapter,sowhywasshewastingonesecondthinkingabouta

virtualstranger?Andamuchtooattractivestrangeratthat.Travis

wasthesortofmanwhooughttohave'DangertoWomen'

stampedacrosshisforeheadinbigredletters.

Harveydecidedtocomeandshakehimselfathersideinthenext

moment,whicheffectivelycutBeth'smusingsshort,butforthe

restofthewalkshemadesureTraviswaskeptfirmlyonthe

perimeterofherthoughts.Itwasabattle,butshemanagedit.

AgoldentwilightwasscentingtheairwhenBethfinallypushed

openthegateofHerbCottagemuchlaterthatday.Shewas

exhausted,butpleasantlyso.Harveywasmakingitclearhefelthis

pawshadbeenwalkedoffandthathewasreadyforhisdinneras

heploddedafterher.

Shesawthebigbunchofflowerslyingonthedoorstepalmost

immediately,herpulsequickeningasshewalkedupthegarden

path.Thepalepinkrosebuds,freesiasandbaby'sbreathwere

wrappedincellophaneandtiedwithapinkribbon.Thesmallcard

read;'Alittlehousewarmingpresent'.Itwassignedsimply'Travis'.

Shestaredatthefirmblackscrawl,herheartthumping.Hehad

boughtherflowers.Itwasthelastthingshe'dexpectedaftertheir

somewhatterseparting.Whyhadhedonethat?

Sheopenedthedoor,clickingthelatchdownonceshewasinthe

cottagesotherecouldn'tbearepeatoflastnight'sperformance.

Walkingintothetinykitchen,shelaytheflowersonthedraining

board,continuingtostareatthemuntilHarvey'swhinereminded

herhewaswaitingforhismeal.

Oncethedogwasfed,shedugoutavasefromthebitsandpieces

inthecupboardunderthesinkandplacedtheflowersinwater.

Theyweregorgeous,absolutelygorgeous.

Theydidn'tmeananything;hewasprobablyjustbeingkind.She

noddedatthethought.Whichwasfine.Peoplewereallowedtobe

kindwithoutanyulteriormotives,afterall.Theseflowersdidn't

meanhewasinterestedinher.Shefrownedatthesweetlyscented

bloomsasshecarriedthevasethroughtothesittingroom.Buthis

doingthiswasacomplication.

Sheplonkedthevasedownontheold-fashioneddresserandwent

tofixherselfaquickmealofsaladandcoldmeat.Sheateher

supperonatrayinthesittingroom,staringattheflowers,Harvey

sittingtoattentionatherfeetasheeyedherlastpieceofhome-

curedhamhopefully.

Theflowersdidn'tmeanshewouldnecessarilyseeanythingof

TravisBlackagain,shetoldherselflaterasshewashedthedishes

beforegettingreadyforbed.Fromwhathe'dtoldher,hewasa

busymanandtimewasatapremium.And,asshedidn'twantto

seehimagain,thatsuitedherperfectly.

Nevertheless,intheshorttimebeforeshedriftedofftosleep,she

couldn'thelpanticipatingthenextdayandwhethertherewouldbe

aknockatthedoor.Andshedidn'tlikethewayherpulse

quickenedatthepossibilityeither.

Therewasnoknockatthedoor,notonthefollowingdayorthe

subsequentones.TravishadobviouslyreturnedtoBristolafterhis

weekendathisbolt-hole.Bethtoldherselfshewasimmensely

relievedthatadifficultepisodehadfinishedonagoodnote,and

shewas,inaway.Shedidn'twanttoseeTravisagain—shedidn't

wanttogetmixedupwithanymanagain—soshecouldn'tquite

understandwhyshefoundhim poppingintohermindatodd

moments.

ShewashedandironedtheT-shirtandjoggingbottomsand

packagedthemupwithanotethankinghimforhishospitalityand

thegiftoftheflowers,depositingtheparcelinthepostboxhe'd

spokenofonSaturdaymorning.Oncethatwasdoneshefeltalittle

betterabouteverything.Shehadkeptthenotepoliteandfriendly

butfaintlydismissive,covertlyindicatingshedidn'texpecttheir

pathstocrossagain.

AsonepeacefulMaydayafteranotherpassed,Bethfoundherself

eatingandsleepingbetterthanshehadinyears.Thiswaspartly

duetothepeaceandquiet,butalsobecausethedaysweresunny

andwarmandsheandHarveycouldtrampthecountrysidetotheir

hearts'content,returninghometiredandhappyasevening

shadowsstretchedacrossthecottagegarden.

Greenvalleysandwoodedhillsides,littlegreyfarmsand

whitewashedcottagesprovidedsurroundingssodifferentfromthe

clamourandbustleofLondonthatBethfeltshe'dbeentransported

toanotherworldratherthanadifferentpartofEngland.She

seemedtocomeacrosssomethingenchantinglydifferentalmost

everyday.Abuzzardsoaringfromarockycrag,abroodofbaby

ducklingsswimminginalittlepoolamidsttheheather,ponies

frolickingandchasingeachotherbythesideofadashingstream

andthedelicatepalerosettesofbutterwortleavesonagreenriver

bank.

Itallworkedamagicshehaddesperatelyneeded.Asherskintook

onagoldenglowfromthesunandherblondehairturnedashade

lighter,sohermindwasrenewed.Suddenlythethoughtof

tomorrowwasexcitingandpleasurableratherthansomethingtobe

gotthroughwithgrittedteethandadeterminedsmile.Hereshe

didn'thavetopretendtoanyone.Sheshoppedlocallybut,apart

frompolitelypassingthetimeofdaywiththeshopkeepers,kept

herselftoherself.InLondonshehadbeenthemostgregariousof

souls,hereshewaspositivelyhermit-like.Butitwaswonderful,

liberating.Shefeltreborn.

AndsothemonthofMaypassed,Junecominginonthecrestofa

heatwaveastheweatherturnedevenwarmer.

Itwasonthesecondofthemonth,somethreeweeksaftershehad

movedtoShropshire,thatBethsawtheMercedessnakingitsway

pastthecottageoneFridayeveningasshewasthrowingaballfor

Harveyinthegarden.Shefroze,hereyesfollowingthevehicleas

itdisappearedfromsightwithoutstopping.

Asfarassheknew,Travishadn't"beenaroundsincethatfirst

night.Shesupposedhemighthavebeen,butshehadn'tseen

anythingofhim.

Harveybarkedtoremindhertocontinuewiththegamebutnow

shedidsomechanically,suddenlyfeelingallonedge.Whichwas

ridiculous,plaindaftinfact,butshecouldn'thelpit.

Hadhenoticedherinthegarden?Shebecameawarethatshewas

inapairofheroldestjeansandathinvesttop,make-uplessand

withherhairbundledintoahighponytailtokeepherneckcool.

Shelookedamess.

Astherealisationhither,Bethhurriedbackintothehousebut

therebroughtherselfupshort.Shewasnotgoingtochangeor

brushherhairoranythingelse.Whatonearthwasthematterwith

her?Hewouldn'tcometoseeheranyway.

Deliberatelyshemadeherselfgointothekitchen,pouringherselfa

glassofwineandthenwalkingthroughintothetinybackgarden,

whichwasonlybigenoughtoholdaprofusionofflower-filled

tubsandanoldwoodenbench.Itwasasun-trapthough,andshe

oftenspentthelastdaylighthourslazilywatchingfathoney-bees

buzzingbusilyfromflowertoflower.

Harveyflunghimselfdownatherfeetandpromptlystartedto

snooze,twitchingandwhininginhissleepnowandagainashe

dreamt.Bethenviedhisplacidequanimity.

Itcouldonlyhavebeentwentyminuteslaterwhentheknockcame

atthefrontdoor.Shecouldn'tpretendshehadn'theardit,notwith

Harveywakingupwithastartandbarkinghisheadoff.Settingher

glassdown,sheforcedherselftowalkcalmlyintothehouseand

throughtothefrontdoor.Takingalongdeepbreath,sheopenedit.

Shehadnodoubtwhoitwouldbe.

'Hi.'Unlikeher,Travislookedunruffledandcool,hisdarkblue

shirtopenattheneckandhislightcottontrouserscrease-free.

'Neighbourlyvisittoseehowyou'redoing,'hedrawledeasily.

'Howareyou?EverythingOK?'

'Me?Oh,I'mgreat,thanks.'Sheknewshe'dgonebrick-redandit

wasutterlyhumiliating,especiallyinviewofhisauraofrelaxed

self-confidence.She'djustforgottenhowbigandattractivehewas.

'Would...wouldyouliketocomeinforaminute?'sheasked

reluctantlywhenhedidn'tsayanythingelse.

'Thanks.'Hefollowedherintothecottage,Harveybouncingabout

delightedlyatthereunion.Immediatelythecottageseemedto

shrink.'Thisiscosy,'hesaid,glancingaround.

'I'mhavingaglassofwineinthegarden.Caretojoinme?'Beth

hopedshesoundedlessflusteredthanshefelt.

'Soundsgood.'Hesmiledslowlyandherpulseaccelerated.

Sheallbutscamperedthroughtothekitchenawayfrom his

disturbingpresence,rememberingbelatedlythatthebenchwasthe

onlyseatinthebackgardenandwhereasitwasfineforoneitwas

amitetoocosyfortwo.Hestoodinthedoorwayasshefound

anotherglassandpouredthewine,thepiercinggreyeyesonher

hotface.Bethfeltallfingersandthumbs.

'Thanks.'Hetooktheglassandstoodasideforhertogointothe

garden.Suddenlysheseemedtohaveforgottenhowtowalk.

Annoyedwithherself,sheledtheway.

Onceoutside,Bethwavedtowardsthebench.'Pleasesitdown,'she

saidascasuallyasshecould,pickingupherglassandperching

somewhatprecariouslyontheedgeofoneofthetubsofgreenery

oppositethebench.'Andthanksagainfortheflowers,'sheadded,

'butyoushouldn'thave.'

'Shouldn'tI?'Hesatwithonearmstretchedalongthebackofthe

bench,onelegcrossedovertheotherknee.Itwasaverymasculine

pose.ButthenTraviswasaverymasculineman,shethought

inanely.'Whyisthat?'

'Why...'Foramomentherbrainscrambled.Thenshesaidquickly,

'Afterallyou'ddonetohelp,itshouldhavebeenmebuyingyou

somethingtosaythankyou.'

Hesmiled,shrugginghisshoulders.'Ithinknot.AllIdidwas

provideabedforthenight.'

Shehopedhernosewasn'tshinybuttentooneitwas.Italsofelta

littlesunburntandwasprobablyglowinglikeabeacon.Shetried

toignoretheeffecthissmokyvoicehadonhernerve-endingsas

shesaid,'NeverthelessIdon'tknowwhatI'dhavedoneifyou

hadn'thappenedby.Itwasaridiculouspositiontobein.I'mnot

normallyaflutterytypeoffemale.'

Travisdidn'treplytothis.Whathedidsaywas,'Andyou'refeeling

betternow?'

'Better?'Shestaredathimwarily.'Idon'tunderstand.'

'Yousaidyou'dtakenthecottageforawhilebecauseyouhadbeen

ill,'heremindedhergently.'Iwonderedifyouwerefeelingitwas

doingyougood.'

'Oh,I'mfinenow,'shesaidfirmly.'Backtonormal.'

'Overwork,wasit?'Theblackeyebrowswereenquiring.

Shehadn'texpectedhimtopushthepointandittookherabackso

shedidn'tanswerimmediately.Itwaswhenshesawhiseyes

narrowthatsheforcedherselftosay,'Partly,yes,'inascoola

voiceasshecouldmanagewithoutbeingoffensive.Therewas

absolutelynowayshewasgoingtodiscussherpastwithTravis

Black.Noway.Withthisinmind,sheadded,'Itwaspeaceand

quietIwantedandthiscottageprovidesit.Nohavingtobeupat

thecrackofdawntofightmywaythroughLondontraffic,no

deadlines,noarguingwithbuildersortryingtoappeaseclients,no

people.Idon'thavetoseeasoulhereandthat'sthewayIlikeit.'

Bighintthere.Takeit.

Theslightquirktothefirmmouthtoldherhercovertmessagehad

beenreceivedandunderstood.Hewasatrespasser,anunwelcome

intruderintohersmallworld.Bethrefusedtofeelguilty.She

hadn'taskedhimtocomeheretoday.Shehadaskedforhishelp

thatnightthreeweeksagobutshe'dhadnooptionthen,andshe

hadthankedhimforhisassistancemorethanonce.Shedecided

nottofollowthistrainofthoughtbecauseitwasmakingthe

refusaltofeelguiltyhardertomaintainandsheneededtobe

strongaroundthisman.

'Atleastyou'veprovidedasparkofexcitementhereabouts,'Travis

saiddrily.'You'rethetalkofthevillage.Didyouknowthat?

Everyone'sconsumedbycuriosity,apparently.'

Bethshowedheralarm.'Whyisanyoneinterestedinme?'

'Abeautifulmysterywomanwhotakesacottageinthemiddleof

nowhereandlivesthelifeofarecluse.Whydoyouthink?'hesaid

softly.'Allthehallmarksofagoodbook.'

Bethstaredatthedarkcraggyface.Hewasenjoyingthis,enjoying

needlingher,shethought,watchinghimasheswallowedthelast

ofhiswine.Shewasblowedifshewasgoingtoofferhimanother

glass.Sheadoptedthefaceandposturewhichalwaysworkedwith

difficultbuildersorclientsandsaidcrisply,'I'm sorrypeople

haven'tgotanythingbettertotalkabout.Theymustleadvery

boringlivesroundhere.'

Itwaslikewateroffaduck'sbacktoTravis.Helookeddownathis

shoes,consideringherwords.Itwasaninopportunetimetonotice

justhowthickhiseyelasheswereorhowhisopenshirtcollar

showedthedarkshadowofbodyhair.

Helookedup,smilingslightlyashesaid,'Don'tbesorry,Beth.

Allowthemtheirlittlestoriesandfantasies.I'msurethetruthisfar

dullerthananythingthey'vecomeupwith.'

Cheekyhound.Nowherstareturnedintoaglareanditwasa

momentortwobeforeshewarnedherselfnottoshow any

emotion.Straighteningherfaceandstitchingasmilewherethe

frownhadbeen,shesaidnonchalantly,'Guaranteed,forsure.'

Ashrillbeepingfromthedirectionofthekitchenfilteredthrough,

tellingherthetimerontheovenwasannouncinghermealwas

cooked.Traviscockedhishead.'Doyouneedtoseetosomething?'

heaskedmildly.

'It'sfine.Justmyeveningmeal,'shesaiddismissively,hopinghe'd

takethehintandleave,especiallyasshehadn'tofferedtorefillhis

glass.

Insteadhesaid,'IthoughtIcouldsmellsomethingdelicious.What

areyouhaving?'Hesniffedtheair.

'Acasserole.'Andwhentheblackbrowscontinuedtosilently

question,sheadded,'Porkwithparsnipandapple.'Atleastshe

hopedthatwaswhatittastedlike.

Heallbutsmackedhislips.'Soundsgood.'Andstillhesatthereas

thoughhehadaperfectrightto.

Bethfoundherselfmentallysquirming,rememberinghowhe'd

takenherandHarveyinandmadethemsowelcome.Butthiswas

different,shetoldherselfsilently.Itwas.Totallydifferent.Andthe

factthatshehadcookedenoughfortwodays,meaningtohavethe

resttomorrow,wasnothingtodowithit.Shedrainedherglassand

stoodup,whichwasareliefinitself.Theedgeofthetubhadbeen

distinctlyuncomfortabletoperchon.StillTravismadenoeffortto

leave.

Thesilencewasnowscreamingand,acknowledginghe'dwon,she

saidflatly,'Haveyoueatenyet?'

'Me?'hesaidwithanairofpliantmeeknesswhichdidn'twashat

allwithBeth.'No,Ihaven't,asithappens.Itwasadevilofa

journey,trafficjamsalltheway,andIjustwantedtogethere.'

OK,OK,don'tlabourthepoint.'I'veenoughfortwoifyou'dlike

tostay,'shesaidshortly,hertonelessthanenthusiastic—toputit

mildly.

Travisdidn'tappeartonotice.'Really?Great,I'dloveto.Ifyou're

sure.'Blackeyebrowsquirkedashesmiled.

Wretchedman.Bethignoredtheeffectthedevastatingsmilehad

onherinsides,saying,'It'sabigcrampedinsideandthere'sno

diningtable,I'mafraid.You'llhavetomanagewithatrayonyour

lap.'Therewasthelittlebreakfastbarandthatwaswhereshe

usuallyate,seatedononeofthetwostoolsthecottageboasted,but

thetininessofthespacewouldmeanshe'dbeshouldertoshoulder

withTravisandthatwasoutofthequestion.Shewouldn'tbeable

toeatathing.

'Atrayisnoproblem,'hesaideasily.

Atraymightnotbe,hemostcertainlywas.AsTraviswentto

standup,Bethsaidhastily,'No,yousitwhereyouareandI'llcall

youwhenit'sready.Thecottageissotiny...'Shetookhisglass.'I'll

bringyououtanotherglassofwine.'

'Thanks.'Heslantedalookatherunderhalfclosedlids,hisvoice

stillsuspiciouslyacquiescentwhenhesaid,'SureIcan'thelp?I

feelguiltylandingonyoulikethis.'

You'vedonequiteenoughalready.'No,it'sfine.Iwon'tbea

minute.'Shesmiledbrisklyandmarchedaway.

Onceinsidethecottage,BethstareddownatHarveywhohad

followedherin.Howonearthhadshecometofindherselfinthis

position?OnemomentithadbeenjustherandHarveysittingin

peacefultranquillityandenjoyingthesummerevening.Thenext...

ShepouredTravisanotherglassofwineandtookitouttohim

beforehetookitintohisheadtoignorewhatshehadsaidand

followherinside.

Hewassittingwithhislegsoutstretchedandhiseyesshut,hisface

liftedtothedyingsunlight.Helookedbigandhardandassexyas

hell,andasshestaredathimsomethinglikeaboltofelectricity

shotdowntohertoes,makingthemcurl.Shehadtoswallowtwice

beforeshecouldmutter,'Here'syourwine,'andshemadevery

suretheirhandsdidn'ttouchasshepassedhimtheglass.

Afterscuttlingbackintothecottage,Bethstoodforamomentat

thekitchensinkwithonehandpressedagainsthergallopingheart.

Thiswasstupid.Shehadtogetagrip.Sheshuthereyestightand

thenopenedthemagain,gazingblanklyacrosstheroom.

Afteramomentortwosheforcedherselftostartsettingtwotrays

withcutleryandnapkins,annoyedtoseeherhandsweretrembling

slightly.Shebreathedinandoutdeeplyafewtimes,hermind

racing.OK,soshewassexuallyattractedtoTravis—sheadmitted

it.Shesighedwithrelief.Shehadbeentryingtofightthereality

forthelastthreeweeksanditwasn'tthewaytohandlethis.She

hadtobehonestwithherself.

Sheliftedthesteamingcasseroleoutoftheovenandontothe

smallsteelshelfatthesideofthehob.

Shewasagrownwomanofthirtyyearsofage,shetoldherself.

Notasimperingschoolgirlinthemidstofafirstcrush.Sexual

attractionwasthesametheworldoveranditdidn'tmeanathingif

youbroughtyourwilltobear.Mindovermatter,simple.Shewas

notabouttogetinvolvedinacasualrelationshipwithanyman—

PrinceCharminghimselfcouldwalkinhereandshewouldn'tbe

tempted.

ShehadbelievedinKeith,utterlyandtotally,andifshecouldget

itsomonumentallywrongoncetherewasnoguaranteeshe

couldn'tdosoagain.Andshewasn'tpreparedtotakesucharisk.

Thatleftthesensibleoption.Ifshedidn'tletherselfbecome

vulnerablethenshecouldn'tbehurt.Andthewaynottobe

vulnerablewasnottogetclosetoaman.

Shereachedforthedishofthinlyslicedlayeredpotatoesonthe

secondshelfoftheovenandtheysizzledather,thebutterand

seasoningshe'dsprinkledoverthempleasantlyaromatic.Foronce

everythinglookeddelicious.

Shehadseveralfriendswhocouldhandleone-nightstandsand

relationshipswithnostringsattachedperfectlywell,butsheknew

shewasn'tmadethatway.She'dhadlotsofotherboyfriends,one

ortwoquiteserious,beforeKeith,butshehadneverfully

committedinaphysicalsensebecausethatcertainundefinable

somethinghadbeenmissing.Keithwasthefirstmanshehadbeen

tobedwithanditlookedasifhemightbethelast.Shegrimaced

andbeganladlingthecasseroleontotheoven-warmedplates,

swiftlyfollowedbythegolden-brownpotatoes.Butbetterthatthan

beingtakenforamugagain.

'Imustbeabletodosomething?'

Asthedeeprichvoicefromthedoorwaystartledher,Bethalmost

droppedthedishofpotatoes.Nervingherself,sheglancedat

Travis.Itwasthebestbitofactingshehaddoneforsometime

whensheshruggednonchalantly,hervoiceairyasshesaid,'No,

it'sallundercontrol.GoandsitdownandI'llbringthetrays

throughinamomentortwo.'

'Letmetakeyourglassandtherestofthewineatleast.'Hehad

movedintothekitchenbeforeshecouldstophim,reachingacross

herforthebottle.Themovementbroughthisshoulderbrushing

againstherarmandsuddenlythefaintintoxicatingsmellofhis

aftershavewasthereonhersenses,alongwithaquivering

awarenessoftheheightandbreadthofthepowerfulmalebody.

Bethfroze.Shecouldn'tbreathe.Itwasahugereliefwhenhe

strolledintothesittingroom.

Idiot!Shemadeherselfcontinuetodishupthemealevenasthe

littleshiversradiating from every nerveand sinew made

themselvesfelt.Shewasatwenty-fourcaratidiot.Hewasn'tgoing

topounceonher,forgoodness'sake,orturnintoadementedrapist

ordepravedpervert.

Butthenitwasn'tanyofthosepossibilitiesthatwasbotheringher,

alittlevoiceinherheadsaidnastily.Itwasmorehowshewould

reactifhedidtrytokissherthathadgotherallofatwitter.

Shestaredatthetwofullplatesandthenbreathedoutslowly.

Calm,girl,calm.Yougivehim dinner—youowehim thatat

least—butthenyourdebtispaid.Keepitniceandfriendlybut

cool,adefiniteone-off.He'llgetthemessage.

Shepickeduptheplatesandplacedthemonthetrays,takingone

andpreparingtocarryitthroughtoTravis.Anhour,twoatthe

most,andthenshecouldcallahalttotheevening.Afterthatshe

needn'tseehimagain,apartfromperhapstheoddglanceandwave

ifhehappenedtopassthegatewhenshewasinthegarden.

Shementallynoddedatthethought.Traviswasthesortofman

whowouldneverbeshortoffemalecompanionship,thatwasfor

sure.Why,nextweekorthenextorsometimeverysoonshemost

likelywouldseeablonde,brunetteorredheadsittingnexttohim

asthecardrovepast.Perhapsevenasuccessionasthemonths

passed.Andthatwasfine,justfine.

Herchinrose,hersoftfullmouthpulleditselftighterandherback

straightened.Anditwaslikethat,withherheadheldhigh,thatshe

tookthetraythroughtohim.

CHAPTERFOUR

'Thatwaswonderful.'Travisputdownhisknifeandforkwiththe

appearanceofamanwhowasreplete.

'I'mgladyouenjoyedit,'Bethsaidprimly.Actuallyshehadbeen

surprisedbyhowgoodthefoodhadtasted.Forsomeonewho

normallymanagedtomakeboilinganeggadisaster,themealhad

turnedoutverywell.'Ihaven'tgotanythinglikehazelnutpieor

applecrumble,I'mafraid,'sheaddedwithabriefsmile,'butthere's

cheeseandbiscuitsfordessertifyou'dlikesome.'Shemightas

wellfinishthemealproperly.

'Myfavourite.'Hegrinnedather.'Andthehazelnutpieandapple

crumblewerebothshopbought,bytheway.'

Toocosy.Toointimate.Bethroseswiftlyfromthechairshehad

purposelymadesureshesatinwhenTravishadtakenthesofa,but

asshereachedforhisplatehetoostoodup.'Allowme,'hesaid

firmly,takingherplatefrom herandwalkingthroughtothe

kitchen,wherehedunkedtheplatesinthewashing-upbowlbefore

shecouldprotest.

Shestoodhoveringinthedoorway.Thekitchenwastoosmallfor

thetwoofthembutshecouldn'tverywellorderhimout.'Please

leavethewashing-up;I'lldoitlater,'shesaidatlast.'Comeand

haveanotherglassofwine.'

'Nearlyfinished.'Itwasaminuteortwobeforeheturnedandthen

hedidn'tmoveawayfromthesink,leaningagainstit,armsfolded,

legscrossedashesurveyedherfromintensegreyeyes.'Haveyou

beenabused?Sexually,Imean,'heaskedwithshockingmatter-of-

factness.

'What?'Shecouldnitbelieveherears,herfacefloodingwithhot

colour.'Ofcoursenot'

'There'sno"ofcourse"aboutit.Ithappens.'

'Well,ithasn'ttome.'Shecouldn'tbelievehehadaskedhersucha

thing.Shewantedtodiewithembarrassment.

'ThenwhyareyouasjumpyasacatonahottinroofifI'm

anywherewithinthreefeetofyou?'hesaidcoolly.

'I'mnot.'Sheglaredathim.'Don'tbesilly.'

'Ithinkyouare.'Heleveredhimselfuprightandtookthecoupleof

stepstoreachher.

Bethbroughteverymuscleintoplayandremainedquitestilland

unflinchingasshelookedathim.'JustbecauseIcameherefor

peaceandquietitdoesn'tmeanI'vegotsomehugeproblem,'she

saidwithsteelycontrol,'merelythatIdon'twanttosocialisewith

folk.That'snotacrime,isit?'

'Notatall,'hesaidsoftly.

Hewasn'ttouchingherbuthewassocloseshecouldalmostfeel

thethudofhisheartbeatandittookallofherwillnottoretreat.

'So,ifyoujustmoveoutoftheway,I'llgetthecheeseand

biscuits,'shefinishedicily.

'Ifyouhaven'tbeenhurtsexually,thenwhatisit?'heaskedvery

quietly.'Becausethere'ssomething,isn'tthere?Somethingthat's

madeyouretreatfromthehumanrace.Orthemalepartofit.It

isn'tjustworkthat'ssentyouhere.'

Shedidn'tknowhowtohandlehisgentlepersistence.Theseconds

seemedtostretchonforaneternitybeforeshecouldbringherself

tosay,'Areyoualwayslikethis?So...'

'Straightforward?'heinterjectedpleasantly.

'Iwasgoingtosayoffensive.'

'Always.'Hedidn'tsmile.'Sowhatisit?'

Bethknewherfacewasburning.'Haven'tyoueverheardit'srude

toinvadesomeoneelse'sprivacy?'sheaskedtersely.

Heignoredthis.Shegotthefeelinghealwaysignoredanythinghe

didnotwanttoanswer.'Whatwashisname?'heaskedsoftly.'This

manwholetyoudown?'

Shestaredathimashermindraced.Uselesstoprevaricate—she

couldreadinhiseyeshewasn'tgoingtoletgoofthis.'Keith.'

Althoughitwashard,shemadeherselfcontinuetolookhim

straightinthefacewithoutdroppinghergaze.'Hisnamewas

Keith,allright?HewasmyhusbandforawhileuntilIdiscovered

hehadacommonlawwifeandtwochildrenhe'dforgottento

mention.Inmyeyes,ifnotlegally,hewasabigamist.'

Shesawhimblinkandknewshehadshockedhim.'I'msorry.'His

voicewasdeepandsincere.'Ican'timaginehowthatmusthave

madeyoufeel.'

Therewassomethinginthehardmalefacethatmadeherwantto

crybutshehadcriedenoughtearstofillanoceaninthelast

months.Tocombattheweaknessshedeliberatelymadehervoice

flippantwhenshesaid,'Prettyroughtostartwithbutintheoverall

schemeofthingsitwasjustalittledroppedstitchinlife'srich

tapestry.And,let'sfaceit,itisn'tmanywomenwhogettobethe

legalwifeandtheotherwomanatthesametime.Ifeelsorryfor

Anna,actually.Shedidn'tknowaboutmeeitherandshehastwo

littlechildrentoconsider.Hewasveryclever,dividinghistime

betweentwohouseholdsandkeepingusbothsweet.Theremight

evenhavebeenotherwomenonthesidetoo;itwouldn'tsurprise

me.'

'Soyoulefthim?'Travisaskedquietly.

'Oh,yes.Likeashot.We'redivorcednowsoit'sallhistory,'she

saidevenly.'Everythingwasmadeworsebythefactthatmysister

andIhadrecentlylostourparentsinanaccidentandIworkedtoo

hardtotryandcopewithitall.Badmistake.Soyouseethereisno

deepmysterytomybeingintheseparts.Notreally.IjustdecidedI

wantedanicelongbreakbeforeIjointheratraceagain,that'sall'

'Whataboutthehumanrace?'

'Pardon?'Shefrownedathim.

'Whenareyouplanningonjoiningthehumanraceagain?Letting

downthedrawbridge?Communicating?Havingfun?Dating?'he

saidsmoothly.'Normalstuff.'

Herfrownturnedintoafullscaleglare.'That'smybusiness,

surely,'shesaidfrostily.Didn'therealisehowdevastatingithad

allbeen?Wasthemanwithouteventhemerestshredof

understanding?

Hehelduphishandsinmocksurrender,steppingbackapace.

'OK,OK,don'tgetsuper-pricklyagain.Ionlywonderedhowlong

youintendedtolethimdominateyourlifeandcastashadowover

yourfuture.Months,years?'

"What?’Bethwasflabbergasted.Howdaredhe?

Heeyedherexpressionlessly.'Well,whatdoyoucallit?'heasked

coolly.'Theguywasobviouslyanout-and-outsleaze-ballwho

wasn'tfittodrawbreath;everygenerationthrowsupafewlike

him.They'redangerous,Igiveyouthat,butonlybeforeyou

recognisewhattheyare.Afterwards,oncethey'rebackinthe

gutterwheretheybelong,yougetonwiththerestofyourlife.Or

elsetheywinbigtime.Surelynotanoption?'

Bethcouldn'trememberbeingsomadforalongtime.'Aseasyas

that,eh?'shesaidgrimly.'Well,sillyoldmefornotrealisingthe

worldisjustabowloffatripecherriesandthemoon'sreallymade

ofcheese.I'llbebelievinginSantaClausenextandthetoothfairy.'

Hehadthenervetogrin.'Whateverturnsyouon.'

Forthefirsttimesinceshehadbeenalittlegirl,Bethfoundherself

stampingherfoot.Withinthewarmcircleofherfamilyhome

she'dhadthenicknameNeddybecauseofhertendencytostamp

upanddownintemper.Thebrieflackofcontrolwaslikeadashof

icywateronthefireofheranger.Takingadeepbreath,shesaid,'I

thinkyouhadbettergo.'

'BecauseItoldyouthetruth?'hesaidlazily,notmoving.'You're

bigenoughtotakeit,surely?'

Shealmoststampedagain.Infuriating,arrogantpigofaman.'The

truthasTravisBlackseesit,'shequalifiedcurtly.'Whichdoesn't

necessarilymakeitthetruthatall'

'ThinkaboutwhatI'vesaidandyou'llfindI'mright.'Hewasn't

smilinganymore.'You'retoobeautifulandwarmandgutsytoshut

yourselfaway,Beth,and,ifyou'renotcareful,thelongeryouleave

itbeforeyouputatoebackinthewatertheharderit'llbetolaunch

outandswim.'

'AndifIdon'twanttoswimagain?'shesaidtightly.'That'supto

me,surely.Idohaveamindofmyown.'

'Believeme,Idon'tdoubtit.'Hisvoicewasdry.

'Pleasego.'Sheturnedandwalkedintothesittingroom,wondering

whatshewoulddoifhedidn'tfollowher.Hedid.

Assheopenedthefrontdoorandstoodasideforhimtoleave,he

pausedinfrontofher.'IshallpickyouupforSundaylunchat

twelve,'hesaidquietly.'Onthedot,OK?'

Shelookedathiminabsoluteamazement,toosurprisedtoeven

feeloutragedathistemerity.Findinghervoice,shesaid,'Youare

thelastpersonintheworldI'dhavelunchwith,Travis,sodon't

wasteyourtimecalling.'

'Twelve,onthedot.'Hebent,kissingherswiftlywiththelightest

ofkissesonherlips,beforewalkingoutofthecottage.The

eveningshadowsswallowedhimupandhedidn'tlookback.

Shedidn'twaittoseeifhereachedhiscarbeforesheclosedthe

door,leaningagainstitasshefeltherlegsthreatentoletherdown.

Harveywasatherfeetwhining,anditwasonlywhenshestroked

hiscoarsefurtoreassurehimshewasallrightthatsherealised

howbadlyshewastrembling.

Ithadbeenthebriefestofkisses,barelyakissatall,sowhyhadit

affectedhersodeeply?Thesilentroomprovidednoanswer.Not

thatshehadexpecteditto.

Afteraminuteortwoshefeltthestrengthtomoveawayfromthe

door,walkingintothekitchenandsurveyingtheremainsofthe

casserole.'Asocialnicety.'Shesaidthewordsoutloudasthough

thatwouldhelpconvinceherhowridiculousshewasbeing.That

wasallsuchakisswastoamanlikeTravis.Somethingyoudid

whenyouleftadinnerpartyorsomethingsimilar.Apolitefinale

totheevening.

Sheputherhandstoherhotface,herheadwhirlingwithsomany

thoughtsandemotionsshefeltgiddy.Itdidn'thelpthatherlips

wereburningwherehishadtouchedorthatfortheshortfleeting

momentwhenhisfleshhadtouchedherstimehadstoodstill.The

smell,thefeel,thesheerpotencyofhimwasstilllingeringandshe

didn'twantitto.Shedidn'twanttofeellikethis.Shedidn'twant

himtoaffectheratall.

Shegroaned,shakingherheadatherweakness.Hehadcalled

Keithdangerous,butTraviswasinaleagueallofhisown.What

wasshegoingtodo?

Shewasstillaskingherselfthesamequestionwhenshecrawled

intobedthatnight,emotionallyandmentallyexhausted.Endless

postmortemsofeverywordspoken,everygesture,everynuance

inTravis'svoicehadmadehermoreconfusedthanever.Butone

thingwascertain,shetoldherselfasshelayinthewarmdarkness

scentedbytheramblingrosesoutsideheropenwindow.Shewas

notgoingtohaveSundaylunchwithhim.Shestillcouldhardly

believeshe'dheardarightafterthewaytheeveninghadgone.It

wasproofofhowarroganthewas.

Anowlhootedinthewoodssurroundingthecottage,theelemental

soundcomfortinginaforeverkindofway.Inallthetraumaand

dramaofrecentmonths,theagonisingpainshe'dfeltatlosingher

parentssounexpectedlyandthenthehurtandbetrayalbyKeith,

thiswoodhadgoneonforgenerations.Someoftheoldoaktrees

hadbeenhereacenturyortwobeforeshe'dbeenbornandwould

stillbeherewhenshewasgone.

Bethpulledthethinlinensheetuproundherearsanddeterminedly

shuthereyes,thejumbledmaelstromofherthoughtsquietening

suddenly.Shecouldn'tstopTraviscominghereonSunday

morningbutshecouldmakesureshewasn'tin.Andthatwasn't

cowardice.Itwassimplyhammeringhomethesimpletruththat

shewantednothingatalltodowithhim.Nothing.

Inspiteofherconvictionshewasdoingtheonlythingpossiblein

thecircumstancesandthatwasfarbetterthanhavingashouting

matchonthedoorstep,Bethcouldn'thelpfeelinginordinately

guiltyassheleftthecottageatteno'clockonSundaymorning.She

hadpackedapicniclunchforherselfandHarveyandintendedto

spendthehotandsunnysummer'sdaytrampingthehillsand

valleysinthesurroundingcountryside.Andshewouldthinkof

nothingatall.Allday.

Shespentwhatshouldhavebeenanidyllicdayinthefreshair,

returninghomeattwilight.Thefloweringgrassbeneathherfeet

wassoftandshimmeringintheeveninglightasthewarmbreeze

ruffledit,thebirdstwitteringastheypreparedfordarknessinthe

treesandbushesandaflockofsheepplacidandsilentinthefields

belowthecottageassheemergedclosetothehouse.Asshe

approachedthegardengateeightlargebirdscircledoverheadin

thelastraysofthesettingsun,thedelicatepatternontheirwings

turningtopurestgoldwherethelighttouchedthem.Thebeautyof

themomenttookBeth'sbreathaway.

Sowhy,whenshe'dhadaperfectlylovelydaywithHarveyand

everythingwassopeacefulandtranquil,shouldshebefeelingso

wretched?sheaskedherself,openingthegate.Alldayshehad

beenfightingthoughtsofTravisbutnomatterhowshehadtriedto

keephimatbayhe'dinsistedonforcinghimselfintothefrontof

hermind.

Anditwasn'tasifshe'ddoneanythingwrong,notreally.Shehad

toldhimshewouldn'thavelunchwithhimsoifhehadturnedup

expectinghertogooutwithhimheonlyhadhimselftoblame.She

wasn'tresponsibleforhisstubbornness.

Shewasalmostatthecottagedoorwhensheheardtheap-

proachingcarinthelaneoutsidethegarden.Herheartplummeted,

buttellingherselfshewouldhavehadtofacehimatsomepointin

thefuturesoitmightaswellbenow,sheturnedandretracedher

steps.Whenthecarcameintoviewshewasstandingholding

Harvey'scollarinthegarden,unawareofhow slenderand

defensiveshelookedintheshadowednight.

Thecarstopped,butatthesametimeasTravisextractedhimself

fromthevehicleaprettybrunetteslidoutofthepassengerseat.

'YoumustbeBeth!'BeforeTraviscouldsayawordthegirlwas

walkingovertothegate.'I'veheardallaboutyou.Ithinkit's

terrificyou'vechosentocomeandliveallbyyourselfforawhile

andtohellwiththerestoftheworld.'

Completelytakenaback,Bethforcedasmile.'Thanks— Ithink,'

shesard,keepinghereyesfromstrayingtothebigmalefigure

comingupbehindthegirl.

'I'mSandra,Travis'ssister,andIdon'tblameyouatallforstanding

himupthislunchtime.'Sandraextendedahandtoshakeand,

feelingalittlestunned,Bethtookit.'I'dhavedoneexactlythe

samethingifI'dbeenyou.'

'Hello,Beth.'Travis'svoicewasverydryandashergazemovedto

himshesawthedarkfacewasstillandcoollyimperturbable.She

couldn'treadathingintheclosedexpression.

AnsweringSandrabutlookingatTravis,Bethsaidalittleshakily,

'Ididn'tstandhimup.ItoldhimIwasn'tgoingtohavelunchwith

him.Imadeitabsolutelyclear,infact.'

'Buthewouldn'ttakenoforananswer?'Sandranodded.'That'smy

brotherallover.ThestoriesIcouldtellyou.He'sreallybull-

headed.Whenhegetsthebitbetweenhisteeth—'

'You'veintroducedyourselftoBeth,Sandra.Nowit'stimetogo

andsitinthecar.'Travis'svoicewassoftandcoolasitcutacross

hissister'schatterbuttherewasnodoubtingitwasanorderand

notarequest.

Bethsawtheothergirlopenhermouthasthoughtoprotestbut

whensheglancedatherbrother'sfaceshemusthavethoughtbetter

ofit.'Seeyouagainsoon,'shedimpledatBethbeforeswinging

roundanddepositingherselfintheMercedes,closingthedoor

behindher.

Bern'sstomachwaschurningbutherfacebetrayednoneofher

agitationasshelookedatTravis,tryingdesperatelytoignorehow

goodhelooked.'IdidsayIwasn'tgoingtohavelunch,'she

repeatedflatly.'Ifyouremember?'

'Iremember.ItwentsomethingalongthelinesofIwouldbethe

lastpersononearthyou'dlunchwith.Right?'

Flushingslightly,Bethsaid,'Right.Soyoucan'tsayIstoodyou

up.'Herchinlifteddefiantly.

'Ididn't.Sandradid.'Hesmiled—asmilewhichdidn'treachthe

piercingeyes.'Itwasherinterpretationofevents,notmine.Iwas

ninety-ninepercentsureyouwouldn'tbeinwhenwecalled,asit

happens.OK?'

Shestaredathim.Hemeantit,shecouldtell.'Sowhycall,then?'

sheaskedbewilderedly.'Whydidyoubother?'

'Inhopeoftheonepercent,'hesaidsoftly.'Goodnight,Beth.'He

turnedonhisheelandwalkedaway.

Hehadreachedthecarbeforeshecouldforceherselftosay,

'Travis?I'msorry.NotthatIdidn'thavelunchwithyou,becauseI

don'twanttohavelunchwithanyone,butthatI'vebeenso...'She

didn'tknowhowtoputit.

Hestoodwithhishandonthecardoor.Intheshadowednighthis

eyeslookedblackandtherewasasmallsmiletwistinghislips.

'Touchy?'hesuggestedverysoftly.

'Bitchy.'Sheswallowedhard.'BecauseI'm notlikethat,not

usually.AtleastIdon'tthinkIam.AlthoughIknowI'vechanged

sincethedivorce,soperhapsthisistherealnewme.ButIhope

not.'Shestoppedabruptly.Shewasbabbling;shewouldhave

knownevenifhisfacehadn'ttoldherso.'Anyway,I'msorry,'she

finishedflatly.Andshereallywas.

'Howsorry?'heaskedwithsilkyintent.

'What?'Herbrowwrinkled.

'Howsorryareyou?'heaskedwithmagnificentblandness,his

voiceandmannerbetrayingnothingbutakindofamiable

forbearance.'Sorryenoughtosharetheoddmealwithmewhen

I'minthesepartswithoutthinkingI'vesomeulteriormotivelike

rippingyourclothesoffandtakingyoutobed?Yousee,thetruth

ofthematteristhatsexuallyyou'renotmytype,Beth,butIfind

youinterestingasaperson.Andthat'sacompliment,incidentally,'

headdedpleasantly.'There'sfewpeople,menorwomen,Ifind

interesting.'

Shewassoshockedthatautomaticpilotclickedin.'Isee,'shesaid

numbly.Charming,absolutelycharming.

'We'recloseneighboursandinthesepartsthatmeansyoulookout

foreachother,dotheneighbourlything,'Traviscontinued

cheerfully.'Getit?WithyoulivingsuchasolitarylifestyleI'dhate

tothinkyouwereillorhadhadanaccidentoranyoneofanumber

ofthingsandnooneknew.'

'Ihaveamobilephone,'shesaidtightly,'andItalktomysisterall

thetime.Andfriends,'sheaddedquicklysothathewouldn'tthink

shewastheultimatesadcase.Althoughitappearedhewas

thinkingthatalready.Allthetimeshe'dhadtheideahefancied

her,he'dobviouslybeenfeelingsorryforher.Shewantedtofall

onthefloorandhaveafullscalepaddy.

'Ofcourseyoudo,'hesaidsoothingly,sosoothinglyshewantedto

sockhimonthejaw.'Butthat'snotlikeseeingsomeoneinthe

flesh,isit?'

Shecouldn'thelptheshiverthattrickleddownherspine,even

thoughshetoldherselfTraviswouldfeelevenmoresorryforher

ifheknewshewasinventingdoublemeaningsforhisinnocent

remarks.Hercheeksburning,shetriedtopullherselftogether.'I'm

quitecapableoflookingaftermyself,sodon'tworryaboutme,'she

saidgrimly.Howdaredhepityher?Shedidn'tneedanythingfrom

TravisBlack.

'Nevertheless,I'dliketofeelIcouldcallbyoryoucouldcallfor

meiftheneedarose.Youunderstand?IthinkwhatI'mtryingto

sayisthatitwouldbegoodifwecouldbefriends,Beth.OK?'He

raisedblackeyebrowsenquiringly.

Shehadneverfeltsoinsultedinherlife.Thethoughtwasthere

eventhoughshetoldherselfshewasbeingutterlyunreasonable,

nottomentioncontradictory.Shehadn'twantedhim tobe

interestedinher,hadshe?Ofcourseshehadn't.She'dbeentelling

herselfthatsinceshehadarrivedinShropshire.Andhewas

offeringplatonic,nostringsattachedfriendship.Sheoughttofeel

relieved.Butshedidn'tfeelrelieved,shefelt...Ooh,shedidn't

knowhowshefelt,whichwasevenmoremaddening.

Becomingawarehewaswaitingforananswer,shestitcheda

grimaceonherfacethatjustaboutpassedforasmile,saying,'Yes,

ofcourse,Iunderstand.That'sfine,justfine.'

'Good.'Hehadtheaudacitytosmileakindof'therethere,you'llbe

allrightoneday'smile.Oratleastthatwashowsheinterpretedit

anditmadeherbloodboil.'I'mgladwehadthechancetoclearthe

air.I'mgoingbacktonightbuthowaboutamealorsomethingnext

timeI'maround?'

Inviewofeverythingthathadgoneonshecouldhardlyrefuse.

Grittingherteeth,shesaidbrightly,'Yes,OK.'

'Great.'Hemadeamovementasthoughtoopenthecardoorbut

thenseemedtochangehismind.AshewalkedbacktoherBeth

feltherstomachdoabungeejumpthatwouldhaverivalled

anythingshe'dseenonTV.'Seeyousoonthen,'hesaidbriskly,

bendinganddoingthethingwhereheskimmedherlipsagain.A

politefarewell.Sexless.Chummy.

Atleastitwasclearlyasocialkissofthelightestkindtohim,Beth

thought,tremblingasshewatchedhimreturntothecarandslidein

itthistime.Amomentlateritdroveoff,Sandrawavingfromthe

passengerwindow.Unfortunatelyitwasnotthatsimplewhereshe

wasconcerned.Butthen,sheremindedherselfbitterly,Travis

didn'tfancyherapparently.Shedidnothingforhimatall.Whereas

she...

Shefanciedthepantsoffhim.

Purelyaphysicalthing,sheassuredherselfhastilyinthenext

moment,andassucheasilycontrolled.Noemotionsinvolvedafter

all,justraginghormones.Whichwasperhapsunderstandableina

way.She'dhadanactivesexlifewithKeithandthenithad

suddenlystoppeddead.Itwasonlynaturalthatnowshewas

beginningtofeelbetteragainherbodywouldremindherthatshe

wasafleshandbloodwoman.Whileshehadbeenworkingall

hoursandcopingwiththelossofherparentsandtheagonyof

Keith'sbetrayalsuchthingshadbeensmothered.Now,restedand

inlovelytranquilsurroundingswithnomadwhirltoexhausther

andmakehermentallyandphysicallydrained,thingswere

different.Theoldlibidowasupandrunningoncemore.

Sheturnedfromthegate,walkingtothefrontdoorwhereHarvey

waslyingwaitingforher.Thebigdogstoodupatherapproach,

tonguelollingandtailwaggingasheanticipatedhiseveningmeal.

Bethsmiledathim,bendingandpattingthecoarsefurasshe

thought,thisisn'treallytodowithTravisBlack—itcouldbeany

man.Hejusthappenstobetheonearoundatthemoment,theone

that'sawokenthatsideoflifeoncemore.

Shetoldherselfthesamethingseveraltimesthroughoutthe

eveningbeforeshewenttobed.Shewasstilltelling

herselfitasshedriftedofftosleep.Andnotoncedidsheallow

herselftoquestionwhyitwassoimportantthatTraviswas

relegatedtotherankofordinarymales.

CHAPTERFIVE

Thenextweekcrawledbywithsurprisingslowness,probably,

Bethadmitted,becauseshejustcouldn'tstopthinkingabout

Travis.Wherehewas,whathewasdoingandwithwhom.It

aggravatedhertodistractionbutalthoughshetriedthetherapyof

endlesswalkswithHarvey,cleaningthecottagefrom topto

bottom—somethingwhichhadn'thappenedforsometime,she

discovered,whenshetackledthebacksofthekitchencupboards—

andwritingcopiousletterstoallandsundrytellingthemhow

muchbettershewasfeeling,nothingtookhermindoffhimfor

long.

Astheweekendapproachedshefoundherselfcountingthehours

andwasgenuinelyappalledatherweakness,especiallyasshe

couldn'tdiscernwhethertheoverridingfeelingwhichhadherheart

missingabeatnow andagainwasoneofexcitementor

nervousness.Whatever,itdidn'tmakeforrestfulsleeportranquil

days.Whichmadeherangryandevenmoredisturbed.

OnFridaymorningwhenhermobilerangjustasshe'dsatdownin

thetinybackgardenwithHarvey,acupofcoffeeandaplatefulof

wickedlydeliciouschocolatebiscuitsatherside,herheartdida

madgallopbeforesherealisedTravisdidn'thavehernumbersoit

couldn'tbehim makinganarrangementabouttheweekend.

Shakingherheadatherself,sheansweredthecall.

'Beth?'Catherine'svoicewasallbubbly.'Guesswhat?Michael's

motherhasofferedtohaveJamesforacoupleofdayssowecan

havealoved-upweekendbyourselves,andMichael'sbookeda

hotelontheoutskirtsofShropshiresowecancallinandtakeyou

outforamealforafewhours.Whatdoyouthink?Oh,Neddy,I

can'twaittoseeyou.Itseemslikeages.'

Catherine'suseoftheoldnicknametoldBethhersistermeantwhat

shesaid.Catherineonlyeveruseditwhenshewasfeeling

particularlysentimental.

'Butifit'ssupposedtobeaweekendforyouandMichael,won'the

mind?'sheprevaricated.Shegotonwellwithherbrother-in-law,

whowasatruesaltoftheearthtype,butshedidn'twanttotake

advantageofhisgoodnature,somethingCatherinewaspronetodo

onoccasion.

'Darling,itwasMichaelwhosuggesteditandbookedthehotel,I

promise.HeknowshowmuchI'vebeenmissingyou.Andit'llonly

beforafewhours.I'llmakesureIrewardhimhandsomelyforhis

sacrifice,Iassureyou.'Shegiggled.'So,howaboutwecallforyou

tomorrowevening?Sayaboutsixish?YoucantellmealltheAga-

sagagossip.It'llbelovely.'

'Cath,Idon'tseeasoulandthat'swhatIlove,butdocomeif

you'resureyoucansparesometimeoutofyourpreciousweekend.

Itwouldbelovelytoseeyou,butonlyifyou'resure.'

'Totally.AndI'llbringthelatestphotosofJames.Youwon't

believehowmuchhe'schangedinamonth.Seeyoutomorrow,

then.Loveyou,littlesis.Verymuch.'

'Loveyoutooandcan'twaittoseeyou.'

Bethfinishedthecallandputthephonedown,pickingupthe

fragrantmugofhazelnutcoffeeandlickingthecreamyfrothwith

thetipofhertongue.ShehopedTraviscalledbybeforeSundayso

shecouldmakeitclearshewasgoingoutfortheevening.That

wouldteachhimtosuggestshewastheequivalentofafriendless

littleorphanAnnie.

Andthenshesatsharplyupright,crosswithherselfforcaringwhat

hemightormightnotthink.Forgoodness'sake,whatwasthe

matterwithher?Shewaslettinghimmonopoliseherthoughtsina

waythathadneverhappenedbefore.Shehadtogetagrip!She

wasturningintooneneuroticfemale.

Shedrankthecoffeeandsharedthebiscuitswithaslavering

Harveybeforegoingforalongwalk,andoncehomeagainworked

inthefrontgardenfortherestoftheday.Aftercheckingitwasall

rightwiththeownerofthecottageviaJohnTurner,shehad

decidedtocreateaborderofflowersinthesomewhatsterile

frontageandhadboughtseveraltraysofbrightlycoloured

primulas,Michaelmasdaisies,delphiniumsandotherhardy

perennialsfromalocalgardencentre.Itmightnotbefinancially

sensible,butshefeltthecottagewasgivinghersomuchthatshe

wantedtoputalittleback.

Sheworkedonuntilasoft-scentedtwilightfell,refusingto

acknowledgethatforthelastfewhoursshehadhadoneearcocked

forthesoundofacarapproaching.Atlast,whenitwastoodarkto

see,sheretiredtothecottagewithasomewhatcrestfallenHarvey

whohadbeenadmonishedmorethanonceforhappilydiggingin

thefreshlyoverturnedearth,therebyscatteringflowersinall

directions.

PerhapsTraviswasn'tgoingtocomethisweekend,afterall.Asshe

madesupper,Bethtoldherselfshedidn'tcareonewayortheother.

Maybeworkcommitmentsoreventhingsofamorepersonal

naturewerekeepinghiminBristol.Hewasaveryattractiveman;

therewereboundtobeplentyofwomenwhowouldhavetheireye

onhim.

Shedidn'tknowwhyshefeltsodisgruntledandirritableasshegot

readyforbed,orwhyshelayawakeforagoodcoupleofhours

beforeshedriftedoffintoatroubledsleepfullofcomplicated

tangleddreamsandshadowedimages.Orperhapsitwasjustthat

shedidn'twanttoknow.Whatever— self-examinationwasnotan

option.

CatherineandMichaelarrivedonthedotofsixo'clockthenext

day.Harveywasdelightedtoseehisoldfriendsandgavetheman

ecstaticwelcome,andBeth'ssisterandherhusbanddeclared

themselvesinlovewiththecottageanditsposition.With

Shropshireingeneral,infact.

'Icanseewhyyoutookthisplace,'CatherinesaidonceBethhad

shownthemroundandthensettledthepairofthemonthesofa

withacolddrink.'It'ssopeaceful.Mind,Idon'tthinkI'dwantto

behereallbymyselfinthewinter.'

'I'llbebackinLondonbythen.'Bethsmiledasshespoke,although

herheartgaveafunnylittlelurchatthethoughtofleaving.

Alreadythecottageseemedlikehome.

Catherinenodded.'Andwhatabouthim—yourknightinshining

armour?'sheaskedarchly.'Haveyouseenanymoreofhimsince

herescuedyoufromthebrinkofdisaster?'

'Hardlyadisaster.'Bethlaughedandhopedhersisterdidn'tnotice

itwasforced.Shehadmentionedhersomewhatshakystartin

ShropshirebutglossedoverTravis'spartinitasmuchaspossible,

althoughshemighthaveknownCatherinewouldseizeonthefact

thatanattractiveunattachedmanwasintheimmediatevicinity.

Hersisterhadalreadymadeitplainmorethanoncethatthebest

waytoforgetKeithwastomeetsomeoneelse.Infactthey'dnearly

arguedaboutitbeforeshehadleftLondon.Eventuallythey'd

agreedtodiffer.

'So,haveyouseenhimagain?'Catherinepersisted,ignoringthe

pointedglanceMichaelgaveherwhichsuggestedshewasbeing

toonosy.'Travis,wasn'tit?'

Bethnodded.'Onceortwiceinpassing,'shesaidcasually,adding,

'andwherearethosephotosofJamesyoumentioned?I'mdyingto

seethem.'

ThediversionworkedasBethhadknownitwould.Catherine

worshippedthegroundherbabytoddledonandhadalready

confessedtophoningMichael'smothersixtimessincetheyhad

leftLondon—justtomakesureeverythingwasallright.

Bethoohedandahhedoverthepicturesofhernephewenoughto

satisfyevenCatherine,butwhileshelookedatthebright-eyed

littleboyandmadealltherightnoises,shewasreflectingthatit

wasextremelyfortuitousthatTravishadn'tturnedup.Althoughit

wouldhavebeensatisfyingtoshowhimshewasfarremovedfrom

thehermithe'dsuggestedshewas,Catherinemightgetthewrong

idea.AndonceCatherinewasonamissionwildhorseswouldn't

deflectherfromherpurpose.

MichaelhadbookedatableatthehotelheandCatherinewere

stayingat,whichwashalfanhour'sdrivefrom thecottage.

AlthoughBethfeltslightlyguiltyatthemilesinvolvedintheir

seeingher,shetoldherselfitwasMichael'sdecisionandone

whichshesecretlywelcomed.Therewasnochanceofrunninginto

Travisthereifhediddecidetoarrivelate,whereasthevillagepub

mighthavepresentedadanger.

ShehadalreadyspentsometimegettingreadybeforeCatherine

andMichaelarrived,determinedtopresentanupbeat,together

imagetohersister.SheknewCatherineworriedaboutherandso

shehadtakenspecialcarewithherappearance,choosinga

sleevelesswispychiffondressinadeepblueshadewhich

emphasisedtheblueinhereyes,dressingitupwithawidefunky

sequinnedbeltandfragileankle-strapsandals.Ithadactuallyfelt

goodtoapplymakeupandbotherwithherhairforthefirsttimein

ages.Havinghadabreakfromdoingiteverydaynowmadeita

pleasure.

Sowhen,atjustgoneseven,Michaelsuggestedtheymakeamove,

Bethwasreadytogo,afterquicklycollectingherbagandshort-

sleevedcottoncardiganfromthebedroom.

AftertellingHarveytobe'onguard',aninstructionthebigdog

understoodtomeanhewouldn'tbeaccompanyingher,Bethledthe

waytothefrontdoor.Catherinehadcheekilyenquiredifshewas

sureshe'dgotherkeyasBethopenedthedoorand,smiling,Beth

hadbeenabouttoreplyinkind.Hermouthfailedtoformthe

words.

Hereyeswidening,shestaredaghastatTravis,whoslowly

loweredthehandwithwhichhe'dbeenabouttoknock.Helooked

good.Morethangood.Sensational.

'Hello,Beth.'

ItwassoftbutthelowmurmurwasenoughtobringCatherine

nudgingupbehindher,hersister'svoiceholdingabrightnoteas

shesaideagerly,'Well,hellothere.Wedidn'thearyou,didwe,

Beth?I'mCatherine,Beth'ssister,bytheway.And,asitdoesn't

lookasthoughshe'sgoingtointroduceanyone,this—'shewaved

ahandatMichael,whowasoutofTravis'slineofvision,having

hadthegoodmannersnottorushtothedoorwayandstareashis

wifewasdoing'—ismyhusband,Michael.'

Recoveringherself,Bethtookadeepbreath.'I'msorry,'shesaid

evenly,'youstartledme,that'sall.Beth,Michael,thisisTravis

Black.IthinkImentionedthathehelpedoutthefirstnightIwas

here.'

'Whenyoulockedyourselfoutandhetookyouhomeforbedand

breakfast?'Catherinesaidoutrageously.'CourseIremember.'

'Don'tforgetaverygooddinnerwasincludedtoo.'Travissmiledat

CatherineoverBeth'sshoulderandshewasforcedtostandbackso

CatherinecouldtakethehandTraviswasholdingout.'Niceto

meetyou,Catherine.'

AsCatherinedimpledatTravis,Michaelcameforwardandshook

handstoosothatBethfoundherselfedgedfurtherbackintothe

room.Anotherminuteandshe'dbeinthebackgarden!

'Youverynearlymissedus,'Catherinesaidchirpily.'Wehave

cometotakeBethouttodinner.Haveyoueatenyet,Mr.Black?'

sheaddedarchly.

'Travis,please.Andno,Ihaven'teaten,'Travissaidquietly.'In

fact,IwasgoingtoaskBeththesamequestionandsuggestshe

mightliketojoinme.Butofcourseasyou'revisiting...'Hepaused

delicately.Bethcouldhavekickedhim.

'Oh,no,no,youmustjoinus,'Catherineprotestedquicklyas

Travismadetostepbackwards.'Weinsist,don'twe,Michael?

We'vebookedatableatthehotelwe'restayingat,TheLarches.Do

youknowit?Iunderstandthefood'swonderful.'

Travisnodded,hiskeengreyeyespassingthecoupleinfrontof

himandfocusingonBeth'stightface.'PerhapsBethwouldprefer

tohaveyoualltoherself,'hesaidsilkily.'I'msureyoutwomust

haveplentytocatchupon.'

'Notatall'Catherineswunground,tookinBeth'swooden

expressionandturnedtofaceTravisagain.'Wetalkonthephone

nearlyeverydayforhours,'shesaidairily,'andwe'dlovetosay

thankyouforlookingafterhersowellwhenthewholeincident

couldhaveturnedoutsobadly.'

Theyweretalkingaboutherasthoughshe'dsuddenlygoneblind,

deafanddumb.Bethstirredherself.'Ofcourseyoumustcomeif

youhaven'teaten,'shesaidsweetlytoTravis,knowingfullwellit

wasalldecidedanyway.Atentontruckwouldn'tstandintheway

ofCatherinewhenshe'dmadeuphermindaboutsomething.'I

wouldn'tdreamofseeingafriendstarvewhenthesolutionisso

simple.'

Travis'smouthcurledinasmilethatwassosexyBethwassurehe

musthavepractisedforhoursinfrontofamirrortogetsucha

devastatingresult.'Thenthanks,I'dloveto,'hesaideasily.He

turnedtoCatherine.'How aboutBethandIfollow youand

Michael?It'llsaveyouhavingtocomeallthewaybackhereafter

themeal.'

'Well,ifyou'resure...'Catherinebeamedathim.

'Quitesure.'Hevirtuallybeamedback.

Great.Bethwishedshewastwoyearsoldsoshecouldindulgeina

stress-relievingtantrum.Butshewasn'tachildandneitherwas

Travis.Hewasamanandanallmaleoneatthat.Hermouthwas

dryandshehadtoswallowtwicebeforeshecouldsay,'Nowthat's

settled,perhapsweoughttogoifthetable'sbookedforeight?'

'Absolutely.Thisisourfirstweekendbyourselvessinceourlittle

boywasborn,youknow.Michael'smotherislookingafterhim...'

AsCatherinetookTravis'sarmandcontinuedtoprattleawayas

theywalkeddownthegardenpath,Michaeljusthadtimetomouth

asilent'sorry'toBethbeforeTravisdisentangledhimselfand

openedthegardengateforeveryonetopassthrough.Thegood

mannersdidn'tcutanyicewithBeth.

Shewasacutelyconsciousoftheheightandbreadthofhimasshe

brushedby,thedarktrousersandwhiteshirthewaswearing

emphasisingtheleannessofhishipsandthewidthofhispowerful

shoulders.Shewasalsoawareofthedelicioustangofexpensive

aftershaveoncleanmaleskin,andfelttherewassomeexcusefor

thefactshewasfindingitdifficulttobreathe.Therewas

somethingaboutTravisthatwasbroodinglytoughandsensual,

andyettherewasawarmth,afascinatinglygentlesidetothehard

masculinitythatwascompelling.

Animalattraction.A basekindoflust.Sheusedthewords

deliberately.Onecausedtheother.Simple.Itwaswhatmadethe

worldgoroundintheanimalkingdomanditspilledoverintothe

humanpopulationtoo.Keithhadhadthatchemistrytoo,ina

differentkindofwaytoTravis,butithadbeentherenonetheless.

Womenwouldfallforsuchmenregardlessofwhethertheywere

freeorinvolvedwithsomeoneelse,andthemanbarelyhadtolift

hislittlefinger.Itwasdangerous,withahighchanceofdisaster

forthewomanconcerned,butitwasafactthatsomemenonlyhad

tosmileforthefemalesextogodownlikeninepins.Butnother.

Neveragain.

Bethwassoengrossedinherthoughtsthatshedidn'tnotice

Travis'scaruntilshewasalmoststandingbyit,andeventhenit

wasmoreCatherine'sfranklyawedvoicethatbroughtherattention

tothemagnificentsportscar.'Wow,thismusthavecostyoua

fortune.'Catherinewasnothingifnotdirectandtothepoint.

'Michaelwoulddieforoneofthese,wouldn'tyou,Mike?Every

red-bloodedman'sdreamandallthat.'

AsMichaeldutifullyagreed,Bethglancedatthebeautifullinesof

thesleekAstonMartincrouchedbesideCatherineandMichael's

stoutfamilycar.'Thisisnotyourusualcar,'shesaidaccusinglyas

Travisopenedthepassengerdoorforher.

Travisstudiedherwiththethoughtfullookheseemedtokeepfor

her.A'here-we-go-again'lookthatsuggestedextremepatienceand

forbearance,Beththoughtirritably.

'IhavetheEstateforwhenthedogstravelwithmeandthisfor

whentheydon't,'hesaidmildly.'Duetopressureofbusiness,I

didn'tgetawayuntillatetodayandIhavetogetbacktomorrow

afternoon.Itwasn'tworthbringingthemwhenthey'llbeperfectly

OKwithmyhousekeeperinBristol.'

HehadaMercedesandanAstonMartin,thegorgeoushouseshe'd

seenthatfirstnightaswellasanotherhomecompletewith

housekeeper.Howmuchdidindustrialdesignpaythesedays,for

goodness'sake?Bethslidintotheleatherinterior.

ImmediatelyhejoinedherBethwishedshehadinsistedtheytravel

withCatherineandMichael.Itwouldhavemadeherlook

ridiculous,ofcourse,aswellasungraciousandselfishconsidering

itwouldhavemeantMichaelhavingtodriveallthewaybackto

thecottagetodropheroff,butitwouldhavebeensoworthit.Asit

was,shewastrappedinthiswildlysexycarwithTravissoclose

shewasindangerofhyperventilating.

Shesatasstiffasaboardasheexpertlymanouveredthepowerful

cartofacethedirectioninwhichtheywereheading,herpulse

racing.Ontheperimeterofhervisionshewasawareofstrong

malehandsonthesteeringwheelandthewayhistrousershad

pulledtightoverhardthighs.Itwasdisconcerting.Theword

mockedherwithitsfeebleness.

AstheybegantofollowtheothercaralongthelaneTravissettled

morecomfortablyintohisseatandBethfelttheactioninevery

cellofherbody.Sheswallowedtocombatherdrymouth,

pretendingtolookoutofthesidewindowasthoughshehadnever

seentheviewbefore.

'Yoursisterisn'tmuchlikeyou,'Travisobservedcoolly.

Bethlookedathimoutofthecornerofhereyeandsawhewas

perfectlyrelaxedandlaid-back.Theresentmentshefeltenabled

hertosayflatly,'Actually,peoplehavealwayssaidhowalikewe

are.Catherine'sonlyacoupleofyearsolderthanmeandthere

weretimesweweremistakenfortwinswhenwewereyounger.

Oldauntiesanduncleswereforevergettingusmixedup.'

'Iwasn'treferringtoyourphysicalappearance.'

'Oh,no?'Somehowshefeltshecameoffunfavourablyinthe

comparison.Shedidn'twanttoaskandgivehimthesatisfactionof

needlingher,butshecouldn'tresistsaying,'Whatexactlywereyou

referringto,then?'

Heshrugged,consideringhiswordsforamomentbeforehe

murmured,'She'sfriendly,bouncy,foreverrushinginwhereangels

feartotread,Iwouldimagine.'

Bethstaredatthehardsquarejaw.Therewasafiveo'clock

shadowinevidenceandthestubblewasstronganddark.Beth

didn'tknowwhyitmadeherstomachlurchbutitdid.Stiffly,she

said,'Youmakehersoundlikeacockerspaniel.'

Hegaveacrookedsmile.'Unintentional,Iassureyou.'

Sheknewsheshouldn'task—itwasthecraziestthingto jdo—so

itwaswithsomealarmsheheardherselfsay,'SoifCatherineis

youraveragecockerspaniel,howdoyouseeme?'

'Quitedifferently.'

Shewasn'tsureifshehadimaginedthesmokywarmthinhisvoice

butitmadehertrembleanyway.Shewasoverwhelminglygrateful

hehadtoconcentrateontheroadaheadandwouldn'tnotice.

Forcingajauntynoteintohervoice,shesaid,'Doesthatputme

moreinthecategoryofasedatecollieorgoldenretriever?

Somethingalongthoselines?'

Now heactuallychuckledashesaid,'Iwouldn'tdream of

comparingyoutoadog,Beth.'

Hislazyamusementcausedafreshriotofsensationinher

traitorousbody.Shetookinalongsilentpullofairthroughher

nostrils.'ButyouadmireCatherine'sperkiness?'Shekepthervoice

light,asthoughshedidn'tcareonewayortheother.Whichshe

didn't,sheassuredherselfsilently.

'Ittakesallsortstomaketheworldgoround.'

Undoubtedly,butthatwashardlyananswer.Shesneakedaglance

attheruggedprofilefromunderherlashes.Hissmilewasjusta

twitchthistimebutittoldBethhehadnoticed.Shesnappedher

headtothefrontagainatonce.

Wretchedman.Shesquirmedinherseatandthenstoppedherself

immediately.Coolandcollected,thatwashowshehadtobeto

dealwithTravisBlack.Shecouldn'tlethimgetunderherskin.

Decidingtochangethesubjectentirely,shesaidprimly,'Youare

obviouslyverybusyatworkatthemoment.I'msurpriseyou

decidedtocomeupthisweekend.'

'Areyou?'Greyeyesflashedoverherfaceforamomentbeforehis

attentionreturnedtothewindscreen.

Shewaitedforhimtosaymoreandwhenhedidn'tfeltherself

gettingtenserandtenser.Afterafewelectricminuteshadquivered

by,shebrokethetautsilenceagain,saying,"Whoexactlydoyou

workforinBristol?'

'BlackEnterprises.'

'BlackEnterprises?That'sacoincidence,isn'tit,thefirmhaving

thesamenameas...'Shestopped.'Youhaveyourownbusiness,'

shesaidlamely.Ofcoursehedid.

'ThatIdo.'Theyhadreachedthemainroadnowandasheturned

hisheadandleantforwardslightlyatthejunctionshesawhishair

hadasmallkinktoitwhereitrestedonhisshirtcollar.Itwasthick

hair,virile,glowingwithhealth.

Tearinghereyesaway,shesaidweakly,'Isitafamilyconcern?I

mean,didyourfatherstartit?'

Heshookhishead.'No.MyfatherdiedwhenIwastenyearsold

andmymothermarriedagainwhenIwaseighteen.Idon'tgeton

withherhusbandbut,asIwasgoingawaytouniversity,wewere

sparedeachother'scompany.TheyemigratedtoNewZealand

shortlyafterwardsandtookmysisterwiththem,butassoonasshe

wasableshereturnedtoEngland.Bythenmybusinesswasdoing

wellandIwasabletoofferherajob.'

'Soyoulookedafterher?'Shedidn'tlikethefactthatshewas

findingthisglimpseintohislifesofascinatingbutshecouldn't

helpit.

Travis'smouthquirked.'IfSandraheardyousaythatshewouldhit

theroof.No,Ididn'texactlylookafterher—we'retooaliketolet

anyonedothat—butshedidworkformeforatimebeforeshe

tookherselfofftoyourneckofthewoods,London.She'sthePA

toaclothingmanufacturingmagnatenowandloveseveryminute.'

Bethnodded.'Sheseemedfeisty.'

'Oh,sheis,Beth.Veryfeisty,'hesaiddrily.'Andatotalcareer

woman.'

Oncebeforeshe'dgottheimpressionhedidn'tapproveofhis

sister'slifestyleanditwasstrongernow.Orperhapsitwasthefact

thathissisterwascompetinginwhatwasstillamale-dominated

worldanddoingverynicelythatbotheredhim?Maybehewasa

malechauvinistatheart?Thetypeofmanwholikedhiswomento

know'their'place?Andcertainlyshe,asanarchitect,wouldn'tsuit.

Perhapsthatwaswhyhedidn'tfancyherasawoman?Sheturned

herheadtolookoutofthewindow.

Shehadn'trealisedjusthowmuchhisstatementthelasttimethey

hadseeneachotherhadbotheredheruntilthismomentbut,galling

asitwastoadmittoherself,she'dletitgetunderherskin.Which

wasdaft.Hisopinionofherdidn'tmatter.

'Aconversationwithyouislikewalkingblindfoldinaminefield.'

Travis'svoicewassoftandforamomenthiswordsdidn'tsinkin.

Whentheydid,hereyesshottomeethis.Theyhadjuststopped

behindCatherineandMichaelatsometrafficlightswhichmeant

hecouldgiveherhisfullattention,thegreyeyeslaser-likeonhers.

'Idon'thavethefaintestideawhatyou'retalkingabout,'Bethsaid

sharply.

'I'mtalkingaboutthewayyouwerefrowningoutofthewindow

justthen.'Theblackeyebrowsrosemockingly.

'Iwasn't.'Shestraightenedherfacebutitwastoolate.

'Idon'tliketoberude,butyourfacewouldhavedonecreditto

QueenVictoria,'hesaidpleasantly.'Whatwasitexactlythatyou

objectedto?'

Grittingherteethinexasperation,Bethprevaricatedwithhalfthe

truth.'Idon'tseewhyyoushouldobjecttoyoursisterfollowing

herownwayoflife,'shesaidtightly,'orwantingacareer.Thisis

thetwenty-firstcentury,afterall.'

'Idon't.'Heseemedsurprisedshe'dthoughtso.'Merelythatshe

failstoexerciseherconsiderablenumberofbraincellswhenit

comestoherhealthbyburningthecandleatbothends.She's

collapsedtwicealreadyinthelasteighteenmonths.Burntout.I

don'twanttheretobeathirdtime.'

'Oh.'Shesatbackinherseatalittle,somewhatnonplussed.Then

sheralliedtosay,'Butit'sherlifeandifshe'shappy—'

'Sheisnothappy,'Travisinterrupted,justasthelightschangedand

hiseyesreturnedtotheroadahead.'Shemadethemistakeof

dumpingtheloveofherlifebeforesheleftforLondon,thinking

shecouldn'thavehimandthecareershewanted.Shewaswrong.

Youcanhaveitall.Youjusthavetoworkalittlehardertomakeit

happen.'

BethimmediatelyfeltterriblysorryforSandra.'Poorthing,'she

saidinatonewhichshehopedconveyedhowhardshethoughthe

wasbeing.'That'sawful.'

'Itwasprettyawfulfortheguyconcernedtoo,'Travissaidshortly.

'Whohappenstobeafriendofmine.'

'Really?'Bethhadn'trealisedhowmanyofCatherine'sgenesshe

shared,butsheknewhersisterwouldbeproudofherifshecould

hearhernow.'Inthatcase,couldn'tyougetthetwoofthemback

together?Tryalittlematchmaking?'

Travisshookhishead.'IttookSandratoolongtocometoher

sensesandbythenColinhadmarriedsomeoneelse.'

Bethwashorrified.'ButifSandrawastheloveofhislife?'

'Isaidhewastheloveofherlife—there'sadifference,'Travissaid

softly.'Idon'tknowhowColinfeltintheend.MaybeSandrawas

justoneofanynumberofwomenhecouldhavebeenhappywith.

Maybehiswifeistheloveofhislife.Idon'tknow;we'venever

discussedit.'

'So...'Bethwasfeelingherwayhere.Gropinginthedark.'Doyou

believepeoplecanmeetandbehappywithvariousotherpeople

butthatthereisonlyonepersonwhoistrulytheloveoftheirlife?'

'Exactly,'hesaid,hisvoicecool.Hedidn'tlookatherashe

continued,'Andyou'redamnluckyifyoufindthem.Fewdo.And

you'reevenluckieriftheyloveyoubackinthesameway.It

happensbutit'srare.'

Shestaredathimasthegreencountrysideoutsidethecarwindow

flashedby.Theeveningwasmellowandbathedinsunlightbutthe

tranquillitywasalloutsidethecar.'Butthat'saterriblyjaundiced

wayoflookingatrelationships,'shesaid,ignoringthefactthatin

lattermonthsshehadbeenevenmorecynicalaboutlifeandlove.

"Thatmeansthatmostpeoplearenevertrulyhappy,oratleastnot

ashappyastheycouldbe.'

'Hencethedivorcerate."Anddon'tforgetmillionsofcoupleslive

togetherforyearsandbreakupwithoutgettingmarried.Inour

grandparents'timeyoustayedtogethercomewhatmayandmade

thebestofabadjob;peopledon'thavetodothatthesedays.How

manyfriendsofyoursareontheirsecond,third,evenfourth

seriousrelationship?They'reallsearchingforthatelusivething

theyknowisouttherebuthavelittlechanceoffinding.'

Bethwasappalled.Therewasnodoubthemeanteverywordhe

wassaying.Afteramomentortwoshesaid,'Theworld'sasad

placeaccordingtoyou,then.'

"Theworldcanbeasadplace,'hecorrectedevenly.'Ifyoutieup

withthewrongperson,ifyoudon'trecognisetherightoneorthey

don'tfeelthesame,butforthosethathitthejackpotit'sheavenon

earth.Myparentslovedeachotherlikethatandmymotherwent

forsecondbestwhenshemarriedagain.Perhapsshewaslonelyor

afraidofgrowingoldbyherself,Idon'tknow,butshewouldhave

donebettertoremainsingle.She'sbeenmoreunhappymarriedto

mystepfatherthanshecouldhavebeenlivingalone.'

'Soifyounevermeetanyoneyouknowistheloveofyourlife

you'llstaysingleforever?'shesaidslowly.

'HowdoyouknowIhaven'tmether?'heaskedverysoftlyaftera

considerablenumberofsecondshadtickedby.

'Becauseyou'dbemarriedandyouaren't,areyou?'

'No,I'mnot.'Hesmiled.'Butthat'sbecauseshedidn'tfeelthe

same.'

Bethfeltasthoughsomeonehadpunchedherinthesolarplexus.

Whichwasasshocking—moreshocking—thantheirconversation.

WhyshouldshecareifTravishadbeenmadlyinlovewith

someoneheknewwastheloveofhislifeandwhostillheldhis

heart,bythesoundofit?

Shedidn't—shedidn'tcare—shetoldherselfinthenextsecond.

Notapersonalkindofcaringanyway.Shejustfeltsorryforhim,

foranyoneinthatposition.Afterthehurtanddisillusionmentshe'd

feltwhenhermarriagebrokeupsosuddenlyshecouldfeelfor

someonewhowassuffering,thatwasall.Itwasahorribleposition

tobeinwhoeveryouwere.

Sheclearedherthroat.'I'msorry,'shesaidquietly.

Heshrugged.Theydroveonagoodfewmilesbeforehesaidvery

softly,'Wasyourhusbandtheloveofyourlife,Beth?Isthatwhy

youmarriedhim?'

'What?'Sheturnedherheadtolookathimsoquicklyherneck

cricked.

'Yourhusband,'hepersistedgently.'Washetheloveofyourlifeor

justoneofmanymenyoucouldhavebeenhappyenoughwithif

thingshadturnedoutdifferently?'

Shewantedtotellhimtomindhisownbusiness,butafterhehad

beensoopenwithher,shecouldn't.Heturnedforamoment,his

eyesmeetinghersandthenlookedbacktotheroadahead.Thecar

spedon,eatingupthemileswithconsummateease.

Hermindwhirling,shetriedtodredgeupareply.Howcouldshe

answersuchaquestion?Shehadfeltherworldhadcomecrashing

downaboutherearswhenAnnahadtalkedtoherthatday,had

vowednevertoputhertrustinamemberofthemalespecies

again,but...Asherbrainstoppedscramblinghereyeswidened.

She'dsurvived.Anditwasasmuchthesuddenlossofherparents

thathadcausedhertooverworktoforgetasthebreakdownofher

marriage.Whatdidthatmean?Sheswallowedhard.'Idon'tknow,'

shesaidafterafullminutehadpassed.'Idon'tknowifKeithwas

theloveofmylife.'

'Youdon'tknow?Isthatthetruthorawayoftellingmetoshut

up?'hesaidsteadily,afteroneswiftglance.

'It'sthetruth,'shesaidshakily.'HowcanIknowthat?'

'Thenhewasn't.'

Itwassodefinite,soauthoritativethatimmediatelyBethrebelled.

'Youcan'tsaythat'sheprotestedhotly.'Youdon'tknowhowIfelt,

howIfeel.'

'That'strue,butwhatIdoknowisthatifhe'dbeentheoneyou

wouldhaveknown.You'dknownow.'

Shedidn'tbelievethis!Howdaredhedecideforher?'Idon't

acceptthat,'shesaidvehemently.

'Istherearawwoundinyourheartyouknowwillneverclose

unlessyougetbackwiththisguy?'Hisvoicewasmatter-of-fact,

cooleven.'Somethingyoutellyourselfyou'llhavetolearntolive

withbutwhichhurtslikehelleveryminute?'

Shecouldn'thonestlysaytherewasbutshewasn'tgoingtogive

himfreshammunitionforhisargumentbyadmittingk.'I'mnot

preparedtodiscussthisanyfurther.'

'That'sananswerinitselfanditprovesI'mright,'hesaidwithwhat

Bethconsideredimmensearrogance.'Andyoushouldbecounting

yourselflucky.Fromthelittleyou'vetoldme,yourexwasanout-

and-outjerkwhoisn'tfittodrawbreath.Letsomeoneelseputup

withwhathedishesout;youdon'thavetoanymore.You'refreeof

him,freetomakeanewlife.'

'Thatdoesn'thelpAnnaandtheirchildren,'shesaidself

righteouslyinanattempttomakehimfeelguilty.Itdidn'twork.

Shehadn'treallyexpecteditto.

'It'suptoherifshegoesorstays.Shehadachoice,sameasyou

did.Anddon'tgivemeanyflannelaboutherbeingtrapped

becauseofthekids,'headded,whenBethopenedhermouthtodo

thatverything.'Anyonewithagrainofcommonsensewouldsee

they'dbefarbetteroffwithoutaserialadultererforafatherwho

willmostlikelymesstheirmindsupasbadlyasheseemstohave

messeduptheirmother's.'

Shestaredathim.'Idon'tthinkI'veevermetsuchanopinionated

manasyou,'shesaidwithasmuchdisdainasshecouldmuster.

'Youreallydotakethebiscuit.'

Allshehadinanswerwasagrin.'Consideringtheconversation

we'vejusthad,I'llcountmyselffortunatethat'sthemostyou've

calledme,'hesaidcheerfully,pullingupbehindMichaeland

Catherinetoletanoldladywithwhatlookedlikedozensoflittle

poodlesonpinkandblueleadscrosstheroad.Theytookages,

absolutelyages.

HeturnedhisheadtofaceherandBethmethiseyes.Shesawthe

genuineamusementthere,theruggedfacealightwithaself-

disparaginghumourthatwasbeguiling.

Dynamite.Evenasshethoughtit,theirsharedglancedeepened

andheld.Shefoundshecouldn'tlookawayandshecouldn't

fathomwhybutallhernerve-endingsweresingingandalive,her

bodytingling.AndTraviswasn'tsmilinganymore.Shecouldn't

putanametotheexpressiononhisface.

Howlongthemomentlastedshewasn'tsure—itcouldhavebeen

secondsorhoursgiventhewayshewasfeeling— butthenasthe

roadaheadclearedheturnedhisheadandbroketheholdandthe

powerfulcarleaptforward.

Bethsatabsolutelystillandquiet,everycellofherbodyreeling.

Whathadjusthappened?sheaskedherselfsilently.Shedidn't

know.Whatever,itwastheequivalentofbeingrunoverbya

steamroller.

Shediscoveredshehadbeenholdingherbreathandforcedherself

toregulateherbreathingandrelaxthehandswhich,unbeknownto

her,hadcurledthemselvesintofists.

Dynamite,sherepeatedinherhead.Thatwaswhathewas.As

dangerousasdynamite.Andshedidn'tevenlikegettingtooclose

tofireworks!Shegroanedinwardly.But,regardlessofhow

physicallyattractedshewastohim—andthatwasallthiswas,

physicalattraction—hedidn'tfancyher,sothatwasallright.She

wassafe.Ittooktwototango.

Shecontinuedtobreatheevenlyanddeeplyandwithinafew

minutesherbodywasbehavingitself,buteventhoughshewas

sittingstraightshefeltaslimpasawetrag.Ridiculous,butthat

onelookhadherfeelingasshyasiftheyhadjustmadelove.

Shyer.

Please,God,don'tlethimhaveguessedIfancyhim,sheprayed

franticallythroughouttherestofthejourney.Notwhenhe'smade

itabsolutelyclearIcouldbeamannequininaclothesshopasfar

ashe'sconcerned.Shedidn'tapologisefortheexaggeration,

feelingitjustifiedinthecircumstances.Shewoulddieifheknew,

shereallywould,andshestillhadanotherfiveorsomonthsatthe

cottagetogetthrough.Eventhoughheonlyvisitedhissecond

homeinShropshirenowandagain,she'dbeanervouswreckifshe

hadtothinkaboutavoidinghim.She'dbeontenterhooksevery

weekend,waitingtoseeifhewasaround.

AsTravisfollowedMichaelandCatherineintothecarparkof

whatlookedtobeaverynicecountryhotelsometimelaterBeth

realisedthey'darrived.Shedidn'tknowifshewasrelievedornot.

Althoughitwouldbegoodtoremoveherselffromtheintimacyof

thecarandjoinCatherineandMichael,shewasworriedhowher

sisterwouldbehavethroughouttheevening.Catherineseemed

determinedtolinkherandTravistogetherjustbecausehehad

helpedherthatfirstnight.

'You'retense.Don'tbe.'AsTravisbroughtthecartoahalthe

reachedoutandplacedahandoverhers,whichwereagain

clenchedtightlyinherlap.'Iknowthescore,OK?Youintendto

stayveryfirmlyinthativorytoweryou'vebuiltaboutyourselfand

repelinvaders.Andthat'sfineifthat'swhatyouwant.'Hepaused.

‘Isitwhatyouwant,Beth?'

Bethglancedatthedarkface.Shedidn'tknowwhatshewanted.In

fact,she'dneverfeltmoremuddledinherlife.Anditwasallhis

fault.Himandhisflippingtheoriesonthisandthat.Shewished

shehadnevermetTravisBlack.

'You'refrowningagain,'hesaidmildly,asthoughhedidn'tcare

buthedidn'tremovehishandfromoverhers.

Whydiditmattertohimwhatshewanted?Bethaskedherself.She

didn'tevenstirhisbodyletalonehisheart.Whereashishandon

hers,thefeelofhiswarmfirmflesh,wascausingherheartto

bumpalonglikeacarinthewronggear.Buttheneverythingabout

thiseveningwaswrong—everything.Ifithadbeenjustthetwoof

them...

Thethoughtandthewarmsensationinthemostintimatepartof

herthataccompanieditwasenoughtocausehertojerkherhands

awayfromunderhisandsaytightly,'Whatdoyouexpectmetodo

whenyoucomeoutwithsuchsillystatements?I'mnotinanivory

tower,asithappens,I'mverymuchintheworldagain,butI'm

livinglifeonmytermsandIintendtogoondoingso.I'vegota

mindandIintendtouseit.'

'I'mgladtohearit.'Heleantbackinhisseatandsurveyedherwith

narrowedeyes.'Ilikeapositiveapproach.'

Bethstaredathim.Therewasalookonhisfaceshecouldn'tquite

fathom.

'Sowhatarethoseterms?'heaskedjustasCatherineandMichael

lefttheircarandbeganwalkingtowardsthem.Beforeshecould

replyhewounddownhiswindowandsaidtohersister,whohad

pausedbyhisdoor,'Wewon'tbeaminute.Yougoinandwe'll

joinyouinamoment.'

'Oh,allright.'CatherinelookedtakenabackbutpleasedandBeth

inwardlygroaned.Nowhersisterwouldbethinkingallsortsof

thingsandgallopingoffdownthewrongroadentirely.

'So?'Travishadturnedbacktoheragain.'Therulesofen-

gagement?Feelfreetoelucidate,Beth.'

Shewishedshehadn'tstartedthis.Shebreathedinthedelicious

warmthandsmellofhimandreiteratedsilentlyforthehundredth

timethatsheshouldneverhavegotintothecar.Sheshruggedas

nonchalantlyasshecould.'Whyshouldyouwanttoknow?'she

saidalittlebreathlessly,hearingherselfwithatouchofannoyance.

BreathlessnesswasnotanoptionroundTravis.Morefirmly,she

added,'Yousaidyoudon'tfancymeandjustwanttobefriends.

Surelytherulesofengagement,asyoucallthem,don'tinterest

you?'

'Ah,butIlied,Beth.'Thegreygazedidn'twaver.

'What?'Utterlytakenaback,shestaredathim.

'Ilied.'AsmallsmileliftedthecornersofTravis'smouthandshe

knewshewassittingwithhermouthopenandmustlookgormless,

butshewassosurprisedshecouldn'thelpit.'Youknow,tellan

untruth?Fabricate?Falsify?'

'Iknowwhataliemeans,'shesnapped,butnotascurtlyasshe

wouldhaveliked.Itwashardtobefuriouswhenexcitinglittle

shiverswereracingupanddownherspine.'Why?'shemanaged

eventuallywhenhedidn'tsayanything.'Whydidyoulieabout...?'

'Findingyousexuallyattractive?'Hisvoicelingeredoverthethird

wordandtheshiversincreased.'Becauseyouseemedtobe

panickingandIdidn'tliketheideaIwasdrivingyououtofyour

house.Wegotoffonthewrongfoot,Iknowthat,buttaking

yourselfoffforhourstrampingtheforestwithHarveytoavoidme

seemedatrifledesperate.ButIonlyhalflied,'headdedquietly.

'Half?'shesaidwarily.'Whatdoyoumean?'

'IsaidIfoundyouinterestingasapersonandIdo.'Heleant

forwardandeverynerveinherbodyresponded.'I'mnotaspotty

teenager,Beth,whoseonlyideaofarelationshipistofindout

whatthebirdsandbeesareabout,I'vehadwomen,Idon'tdenyit,

andIwouldbelyingifIsaidIdidn'twanttotakeyoutobed.But

notnow,notbeforeyou'reready.I'dliketogettoknowyouand

foryoutoknowme,andthen,ifyouwantthingstoprogress...'

'AndifIdon't?'Shewastremblingsomuchsheknewhecouldsee

it.'Whathappensthen?'

'Thenwekissandwalkaway.'Hisgazedidn'tvacillate.

Sheranashakyhandacrossherface.'I'm...I'mnotreadyfora

relationship,howeverslowyou'rewillingtotakeit.It'stoosoon

after...everythingthat'shappened.'

Hehadslightlyadjustedhispositionasshespokeandsheknewhe

wasgoingtokissher.Somethinghadshiftedandchangedinthe

lastminuteorso,somethingindefinablebutneverthelessvery

potent.Shestaredintohisdeepgreyeyesandthenhismouth

touchedhersbutthiswasnolightcaresslikebefore.Thistimehis

lipswerewarmandsearching,intoxicating.Hemadenomoveto

holdherordrawherintohimasthekissdeepened—hedidn'thave

to.Alreadyaburningheatwasflowingalongeveryveinandshe

feltheadywiththethrillofit.

Shehadknownhewouldbeabletokisslikethis.Theknowledge

hadbeentherefromthefirsttimeshehadseenhimandeventhe

brieffleetingcaresshe'ddroppedsocasuallyonherlipsbeforehad

confirmedit.Sensualexpertisewasevidentineverymovement

andactionhemade,thewayhecarriedhimself,hislazyself-

assuranceandeffortlesscontrol.

Andtheninthenextmomentheliftedhisheadandsettledbackin

hisownseat,leavinghersobereftforasecondthatshealmost

reachedouttohim.Shegazedathim,utterlyoverwhelmedbyhow

hehadmadeherfeel.Never,noteveninthefirstflushoftheir

relationshipwhenshehadthoughtKeithwasthebe-allandend-all,

hadhebeenabletoinspiresuchaphysicalreaction.Whichwas

scary.Veryscary.Butexhilaratingandthrillingtoo.Shehadn't

knownitwaspossibletofeelsowhollyalive.

'Iwantyou,Beth,'hesaidwithremarkablecoolnessconsidering

shefeltshewasabouttospontaneouslycombust,'butasIsaid,I'm

innohurry.I'veneveryettakenawomanwhowasn'ttotallyand

completelyready,mindandbody.I'mnotabouttostartwithyou.

That'sapromise,OK?'

Shenoddedhelplessly.Speechwasbeyondher.

'Sowehavetheodddate,seeeachotherwhenI'mupinthese

parts,nothingheavy.YoulearnaboutmeandIlearnaboutyou.

Wemightlikewhatwefindout,wemightnot.'Thepiercingeyes

withtheirblacklasheslookeddownforamomentandwhenhis

lidsroseagain,hisgazefixedonherface.'Butit'llbeagood

summer,'hesaidlazily.'Averygoodsummerindeed.'

CHAPTERSIX

Catherinewasdefinitelybright-eyedandbushy-tailedwhenthey

walkedintothehotelbarsomeminuteslater,hergazemoving

searchinglyoverhersister.Bethtriedtoignorethesilentquestion

inCatherine'seyesandjointhesmalltalkTraviswasengagingin

butitwashard.Foronething,herbrainwasstilltryingtoassess

justwhathadhappenedinthecar,andanotherwasthefactthat

Travishadtakenherhandasthey'dwalkedintothehoteland

seemedinnohurrytoletgo.

Shestutteredandstumbledherwaythroughtheconversation—a

conversationwhichTraviskeptflowingwitheffortlesseasehaving

metamorphosedintotheperfectcharmingdinnercompanion—but

itwasahugereliefwhenawaiterappearedatMichael'selbowand

informedthemtheirtablewasreadyintherestaurant.

AfterchoosingfromtheextensivemenuitonlytookCatherine

thirtysecondstoday,'I'mjustpoppingtothecloakroom.You

coming,Beth?'

Thethirddegree.Bethstaredathersister.Butifshedidn'tgowith

Catherinenowandsatisfyherblatantcuriosity,hersisterwould

onlycornerheratsomeotherpointduringtheevening.Betterto

getitoverwith.

Onceintheladies'cloakroom,Catherinemadenobonesabouther

inquisitivenessbutthenprevaricationhadneverbeenoneofher

sister'sattributes.

'So?'Catherinewasallagog.'Whatgives?'

'Whatdoyoumean,whatgives?'Bethhedged.

'Youwereholdinghands,'Catherinesaidgleefully.'Andthat

lookedtobeoneseriousconversationyouwerehavinginthecar.

Don'ttellmeyouwerediscussingtheweather.'

Shelovedhersister,shereallydid,butrightatthismomentshe

wishedCatherinewasanywherebuthere.Howcouldsheexplain

whatshedidn'tunderstandherself?Somehowshe'dagreedtostart

datingTravisinthelasthourandshewouldhaveswornonoath

suchathingwasludicrousthismorning.Bethtookadeepbreath.

'We'refriends,'shestated.Then,whenhersistergaveahorsey

snort,sheadded,'Justfriends.Imeanit,Catherine.We'veagreed

wemightseeeachothernowandagainwhenTravisisupherebut

onaverycasualbasis.Nostringsattached,justniceandeasy.'

'Butyouhaveagreedtoseehim?'Catherinebeamed.

'Ijustsaid,didn'tI?'Bethtriedtokeeptheirritationoutofher

voicebuthersister'ssmilingfacehadadefinite'Itoldyouso'edge

toit.'Butit'sabsolutelynostringsattached,'sherepeatedincase

Catherinehadmisseditfirsttime.

'I'veseenthewayhelooksatyou.'Catherinewasalmostpurring.

'He'shooked.'

'Catherine.'Bethfrownedwarningly.'It'snotlikethat.Look,he's

alreadytoldmehe'sbeeninlovewithsomeonewhodidn'tfeelthe

sameandhe'llnevergetoverher.'

'Hesaidthat?'Catherine'sfacedropped.'Really?'Well,hehad

practically.Bethnodded.'Soit'snousegettingyourhopesupon

hissideandyouknow how Ifeelabouttheprospectof

commitment.Neveragain.'

'Never'salongtime.'Catherinenoddedwisely.

'Notinthiscase,'Bethsaidfirmly.'Believeme.'

'Andifanyonecouldchangeyourmind,mymoney'sonTravis.'

'You'dloseyourmoney,Cath.Everylastpenny.Idon'tmindthe

odddatebutthat'sallthiscaneverbe.'

TheystaredateachotherforamomentandthenCatherinesighed

disappointedly.'OK,I'11takeyourwordforit—fornow.'

'Thanks,'saidBethwryly.'Goodofyou.'

'But,forwhatit'sworth,Ithinkhe'saperfectgem.'

'Idon'tthinkTravisisaperfectanything.'

'YouknowwhatImean.'Catherinewrinkledhersmallnose.'He's

gorgeous,Beth.AndIcantellyoufancyhim,'sheaddedslyly.

'Youdo,don'tyou?'sheaddedwhenBethdidn'tsayanything.'It's

asplainasthenoseonyourface.'

Bethhauledherlipglossoutofherbagandpretendedto

concentrateonrenewinghermake-upbeforeshesaid,'CourseIdo,

whowouldn't?ButI'mnotthesortofwomanwhocouldpopinto

hisbednowandagainforaquickspotofsex,noquestionsasked.'

Ifshe'dhopedtoshockhersisterintoleavingwellalone,she

failed.Catherinesaidsoberly,'Thenperhapsyououghttotryand

change.'

Catherine!NowitwasBethwhowasshocked.'You'venever

advocatedthatsortofcarryon,'shesaidaccusingly.

'AndIstillwouldn'tintheusualrunofthings.'Catherinestaredat

her.'Butthisisn'tthenorm.Yourlifehasn'tbeennormalfor

monthsandmonths.KeithwasanabsoluteswineandIdon't

pretendtoknow how youmusthavefeltthroughallthat,

especiallywithMumandDadgoing,butIthinkit'shightimeyou

hadabitoffun.You'rethirty,Beth,noteightyodd.You'vegot

everychanceofmeetingsomeonereallyniceinthefutureand

perhapssettlingdownandhavingafamily,butfornowjustlet

yourhairdown.Gomad,stepoutofcharacter.Be—'

'Irresponsibleandharebrained?'Bethputindrily.

'Iwasgoingtosayflirty.'Catherinegrinnedather.'But

irresponsibleandharebrainedwouldn'tdoyouanyharmeither.

AndI'vegottheideaTraviswouldbeafantasticinitiationintothat

wayoflife.He'dbeananimalbetweenthesheets,'shefinisheda

littledreamily.

BethcouldhardlybelievethiswasCatherinespeaking.Inspiteof

allherextrovertwaysandbubblypersonality,hersisterhadalways

beensomewhatontheprimsidemorally.

Herfacemusthaverevealedwhatshewasthinkingbecauseinthe

nextmomentCatherinehuggedher,laughterinhervoicewhenshe

said,'Goforit,girl.That'smyadvice.Haveasummerto

remember.'

'Travissaidsomethingsimilar.'

'Didhe?Thereyouare,then.He'samanaftermyownheart.'

Betheyedhersistersternly.'Catherine,Michaelisamanafteryour

ownheartandheisnothinglikeTravis.'

'Ah,butvarietyisthespiceoflife.'AndthenCatherine'svoicelost

itslaughterandshetookBeth'sfacebetweenherhands,hereyes

softasshesaid,'Don'tletKeithruinanotherday,anotherhour,

anothermoment,Neddy.He'snotworthit—heneverwas.'

'Iknow.'Bethwastouchedbytheloveshiningoutofhersister's

facebuthowcouldsheexplainthatsomethinghadbeenlostwhen

she'dfoundoutthemanshehadmarriedwasastranger?Catherine

andMichaelweresohappyandshewasgladaboutthat,morethan

glad,butashersisterhadsaidherself,shecouldn'tknowhowshe

felt.ShewasthankfulCatherinewouldneverhaveto./Theability

totrustamemberoftheoppositesexhadbeentornoutofherthat

nightasshehadlistenedtoAnnaspeakandsheknewshehad

changedradicallyfromthatpointon.

AsCatherinedisappearedintooneofthecloakroom'scubicles

Bethstaredatherselfinthemirror.Pensiveeyeslookedbackat

herandsuddenlyshefeltimpatientwithherself.

OK,soperhapsshecouldn'ttrustamanagainandcertainlythe

possibilityofeversettlingdownandhavingafamilyasCatherine

hadsuggestedwasanon-starter,butthatdidn'tmeanshehadto

spendtherestofherlifewithoutmalecompany.Shehadallthe

restofherlifeaheadofherandshecouldmakeofitwhatshe

would.Travishadsaidhewashappytotakethingsatherpaceso

shehadnothingtolose.Nothingatall.Itwouldbefoolishnottoat

leasthaveastabatthis.

Shenoddedtothereflection,feelinghappier,andasCatherine

joinedheragainshesaidlightly,'OK,bigsis,I'lltakeyouradvice

foronce.I'lldateTravisforawhileaslongaswebothwanttoand

seewhereitgoes,andIwon'truleanythingoutinthebedstakes.

How'sthat?'

'Good.'Nudgingheroutoftheway,Catherinepeeredintothe

mirrorandthenstraightened.'Verygood,'sheaddedassheturned

tolookatBeth.'Infact,extremelygood,I'dsay.'Andwiththatshe

tookBeth'sarmandtheyleftthecloakroom.

AlthoughTravis—andMichaeltoo,ifitcametoit—knewnothing

oftheirconversationintheladies'cloakroom,Bethfeltasshyasif

themenhadbeenlisteningassheandCatherinesatdownatthe

table.Withinmoments,though,Traviswasmakingthemalllaugh,

hismanneraseasyasifhe'dknownCatherineandMichaelfor

yearsinsteadofjustanhourorso.

Itsetthemoodfortheevening,aneveningwhichturnedouttobe

hugelyenjoyable.Probablybecauseoftheheart-to-heartwith

Catherineandmoreespeciallythedecisionshe'dmadeattheend

ofit,Bethfoundherselflaughingmorethanshehadsincetheend

ofhermarriage.Sincebeforethen,actually,becauseKeithhadn't

hadmuchofasenseofhumour.WhereasTravis'swaswickedand

entertainingifalittleonthecynicalsideattimes.

Themealwasdeliciousandtheylingeredovercoffeeandliqueurs

forages.Eventually,though,Bethmadenoisesaboutleaving.It

wascrazy,reallycrazy,butherhearthadbeeninhermouththe

lastlittlewhileatthethoughtofbeingalonewithTravisagain.

Excitement,sexualanticipationandsheerfearwerevyingforfirst

placeinherbreastandshewasblowedifsheknewwhichonewas

winning.

Traviswasunlikeanyothermanshehadevermet,thatwasthe

trouble,shetoldherselfwhen,havingmadetheirgoodbyestoa

smilingCatherineandMichael,theywalkedouttohiscar.It

wasn'tjustthathewasinordinatelysexy—althoughhewas.Or

totallyincontrolofhimselfandeveryoneelse—althoughhewas.

Oreventhatthewholeofhim—looks,personality,everything

oozedamagnetismthatwaslethal.Itwastheothersideofhim,the

tender,caringsidewhichshehadglimpsedafewtimesnowthat

wascompellinglyattractive.Orperhapsitwasacombinationofall

thosethings.Shedidn'tknowanymorebutshewantedtoseehim

whenhewasupinthisneckofthewoods,eventhoughsheknewit

wasmadness.

'Enjoyedyourself?'

Hisvoicewaslazyasheopenedthecardoorforherandsheslid

insidebeforeshesaid,'Yes,itwaslovelytoseeCatherineand

Michaelagain,'althoughsheknewthatwasn'tstrictlywhathe'd

beenasking.

'Andme?'Ashejoinedherinthecarshiversofsomethingwarm

andnotatallunpleasanttrickledoverhernerve-endings.*Wasit

lovelytoseemeagain?'

Hewaslaughingather;thedevilishglintinthegreyeyeswould

havetoldherevenifhewasn'tsmiling.Unfortunately,asshe'd

watchedhimgetinthecar,imagesofwhathewouldlooklike

nakedhadblownherthoughtprocessesandBethfoundshe

couldn'tcomebackwithanappropriateput-down.Insteadshesaid

alittleshakily,'Wehadaniceevening,didn'twe?'

'Oh,wedid,Beth,'hesaidsolemnly.'Wehadaveryniceevening,

asithappens.Thefirstofmany,Ihope.'

Bethexhaled.Sittinghereintheshadowedcarpark,hisnearness

wasexcruciatinglyreal.Fantasymeetingreality.

'Buttherewereacoupleofthingsthatweren'ttomytaste.'Heeyed

herlazily,hisvoicesmoky.

Ifshedidn'twanthimtokisshersheshouldn'taskwhattheywere,

sheknewthat.Thelookonthedarkruggedfacesaidso.'What

werethey?'shesaidweakly.

'Thefirstwasthatthereweretoomanydamnpeopleabout.'He

liftedahandandstrokedthesideofherflushedface.'Which

createdthesecond,namelythatIcouldn'tgiveintotheurgetodo

this.'

Thekisswaslongandhungryandsatisfyinglydeep.Beth

wonderedifheknewjusthowextraordinarilygoodhewasat

kissingandwhataturn-onitwouldbetoanywoman.Probablyso.

Infactasure-firecertainty.Andthenshestoppedthinkingandjust

gaveherselfuptothemindlesspleasurehewascreating.

Shewasruffledanddishevelledbythetimehesettledbackintohis

ownseatbutalivefromthetopofherheadtothetipsofhertoes

withsheerpulsatingsensation.

'Youtasteofbrandyandchocolatemint,'hesaidthroatilyashe

startedthecarwithoutlookingatheragain.

Whichwasjustaswell.Sheneededeverysecondshecouldgetto

composeherself.Shewasrelievedhervoicesoundedfairlynormal

andnotatalllikeshewasfeelinginsidewhensheretorted,'Itwas

youwhoinsistedIhavethebrandy,remember?Iwasquitehappy

tostickwithjustcoffee.'

'Oh,I'mnotcomplaining.'Thepowerfulcarnosedoutofthecar

parkontotheroadwiththegraceofabigcat.'Infact,remindme

alwaystotakemybrandythatway.'

Shesmiled.'OK.'Shecoulddothis.Shecouldflirttoo.

Hegaveheraslowgrininreturnbeforelookingbackattheroad

ahead.

TheycontinuedoninsilenceandwitheverymileBethwas

questioningherself.Travis'skissesmadeherrealisethattherewas

more,muchmoretosexthanshehadeverrealisedbeforebecause

certainlyKeithhadn'tmadeherfeelatenthofwhatTravisdid.A

hundredth.Hissexualexpertisewascaptivatingandsowashis

charm,anditwasthatwhichshefoundfrighteningabouthim.

Becauseitmadeherfeelvulnerable.Andshehadpromisedherself

shewouldneverbevulnerableagain.

Butshewasn't,notreally,shetoldherselfquickly.Notinaway

whereshecouldbebadlyhurtagainanyway.Thiswasjustathing

ofthefleshandassuchnottobecomparedwiththedevastation

she'dsufferedwhenhermarriagehadendedsohorribly.Shehadto

keepthingsinperspectivehere.

Things?OrTravis?Asthethoughthitsheslantedaglanceathim

underhereyelashes.BecausekeepingTravisinperspectivemight

beharderthanitsounded.

Theskywasvelvet-blackandpiercedwithstarsastheydroveon

throughtheShropshirecountryside,butalthoughTraviswasquiet

andsowassheBethfelttheatmospherewithinthecarwas

electric.Didhesenseit?Shecouldn'ttell.Hewas*hisnormal

relaxedselfoutwardly,steeringthepowerfulcarwithlittleeffort.

Eventuallytheyturnedoffintothelanewhichleddowntoher

cottageandthenTravis'shouse,andnowBethfoundherheartwas

racing.Wouldhesuggestseeinghertomorrow?Wouldheexpect

tocomeinnow?He'dspokenoftakingthingsslowandeasybut

whatdidthatmeantoamanlikehim?

Alarmbegantooverwhelmher.She'dinsinuatedtoCatherinethat

shemightconsidersleepingwithTravisinthefuture.Howcould

shethinksuchathing?Howcouldshecontemplategoingtobed

withamanwhodidn'tloveherbutonlyfeltphysicaldesire?But

thenhadKeithlovedher?She'dthoughthedidbutshe'dbeen

provedwrong.PerhapsTravis'swaywasthemorehonest,atleast.

WhenTravisbroughtthecartoastopoutsidehergateBethknew

shewasn'tnearlyreadyforanaffair.Ifhewantedtocomeinshe

wasgoingtohavetomakeitveryplainagoodnightkisswasallhe

couldexpect,shetoldherselffrantically.

Hedidn't.Hemerelyleftthecarandwalkedroundthebonnetto

openherdoor,helpingheroutandthenpushingopenhergate.'I'll

watchyouin,'hesaidcoolly,beforepullingherintohimand

kissinghersothoroughlyshewasvitallyawareofthemuscled

strengthofhisbodyandhowarousedhewas.Neverthelessitwas

hewhoendedthekiss,firmlyputtingherfromhimandsending

heronherwaytothefrontdoorontremblinglegs.

Harveyboundoutassoonassheopenedthedoorandaftera

cursorywelcomemadestraightforTravis,refusingtoreturntothe

houseuntilTraviswalkedhimback.

'He'snotnormallylikethis,'Bethsaidapologetically.'It'sjustthat

he'stakentoyou.'

AsmallsmileliftedthecornersofTravis'smouth.Adry,self-

deprecatingsmile.'IfithelpsmycasewithhismistressI'veno

objection,'hesaidsoftly.Hecamecloserandliftedherchin.'AndI

doneedallthehelpIcanget,don'tI,Beth?'

Hehadknownshewaspanickingastheyhaddrawnup

outsidethecottage.Shestaredathimandthenmadeasmall

helplessgesturewithherhands.'Itisn'tyou,notassuch,'she

stammered.'I'mjustnotready...'Sheshookherhead.

Travis,I'mconfusedaboutsomanythingsstill.'

'Iknow,'hesaidevenmoresoftly.'Oryouwouldbeinmybed

rightnow.Goodnight,Beth.'

Thistimethekissmerelybrushedherlipsandinthenextmoment

heturnedandwalkedaway,slidingintothecaranddisappearing

intothenightwithoutabackwardglance.

BethstoodforsomelongminutesstaringafterhimwhileHarvey

nosedaboutthegarden.Itwasverystillandquiet,thewarmair

scentedwiththetangofthetreessurroundingthecottageandjust

thefaintestechoofwoodsmoke.

Hehadn'tmentionedseeingheragain.Herheartbegantothump.

Hadsheputhim offwithhernervesandjitters?Perhapson

reflectionhewasn'ttookeenongettinginvolved,howeverlightly,

withsomeonewhowascarryingawholeloadofbaggage.Travis

wouldbeabletohavehispickofmanywomen;hedidn'tneedto

wastetimewithher.

Harveyreturnedtoherside,pushinghiscoldwetnoseinherhand.

Shegazeddownatthebigdogandthencroucheddownandtook

thefurryfaceinherhands,rufflinghisfurasshesaid,'WhatamI

doing,Harvey?HaveIgonemadorwhat?Hasallthissolitude

turnedmybrain?'

Heranswerwasalongpinktongueacrosshernoseand,laughing

now,shestoodup.Shewasthinkingtoomuch.Ithadbecomea

habitsincehermarriagehadended.ShehadtodowhatCatherine

hadadvisedandliveeachdayasitcame.IfTraviswantedtosee

hernowandagainwhenhewasinthesepartsthatwasfine.It

didn'tpreventhimhavinggirlfriendsathomeinBristol—hewas

stillafreeagent.Thiswasjustacasualthing,friendly,thatwasall.

Anythingelsewasuptoher;he'dmadethatplain.

Noddingtothenightsky,sheclickedherfingersatHarveyand

turnedandwalkedintothecottage,refusingtodwellonthefact

thatherlipswerestilltinglingfromthatlastfleetingkiss.Orwhat

itwouldmeantobebeddedbyamanlikeTravis.Sherather

suspectedshewasgoingtohavetodoalotofnon-thinkinginthe

comingweeks.Butshecouldhandlethisifshekepthercool.That

wasthekey.

Sheshutthedoorbehindher,staringroundtheroomshehadleft

justhoursbeforeandwonderingwhyeverythingseemeddifferent.

Thensherealisedwhatitwas.Shewashappy.

CHAPTERSEVEN

Bethwasawokenfromadeepdreamlesssleepthenextmorningby

someonebangingonthefrontdoor.Shesatupinbedjustas

Harveybeganafrenziedbarkingandatthesametimeheralarm

clockbegancaterwauling.

NotthemostpeacefulstarttoaSundaymorning,then.

Turningoffthealarm,shereachedforherbigfluffyrobeand

pulleditonoverherskimpynightdress,knottingthebeltfirmlyas

shewalkedtothefrontdoor,shushingHarveyintheprocess.Still

dazedwithsleep,shedidn'tevenstoptobrushherhair.

'Hi.'Traviswasonthedoorstepandhegrinnedather,holdingout

somebags.'Breakfast.It'sabeautifuldayandIthoughtwe

shouldn'twasteaminuteofitasIhavetoleavetonight'

Bethfeltlikeadormouserudelyawokenfromhibernation.Trying

topullherselftogether,shesaid,'Whattimeisit?'

'Nineo'clock,'hesaidasthougheveryonewasupbythen.

Shebrushedbackalockofhairfromherface.'Ihaven'teven

showered.'Whereashelookedasfreshasadaisy.

'No?'Heconsideredherwithwarmeyes.'Youlookgreattome.I

likemywomentousledandsexy.'

Sheprobablylookedassexyasifshe'dbeenpulledthrougha

hedgebackwards.Bethstoodaside.'Comein,'shesaidreluctantly.

'I'llputthecoffeepoton.'

'Noneed.'Hefollowedherintothecottageandthentookherinto

hisarmsbeforeshecouldprotest,kissingherinsuchawayshe

wokeup—fast.Itwasanicewaytowakeup.

Thenshewasfreeagainandhewentthroughtothekitchen,

callingoverhisshoulder,'Thecroissantsarewarm andI've

broughthomemadegooseberrypreserveandblueberryjamfroma

shopinthevillage,sohurryup.I'llputthecoffeeon.'

Onceinthebathroom,Bethshoweredinsixtysecondsflat.She'd

takenherbraandpantsandathinsleevelessdressinwithherand,

afterdressing,shequicklybrushedherhairandloopeditintoa

highponytailontopofherhead.It'dhavetodo.Ifhewanteda

fullycoiffured,perfectlymade-upfemaleheshouldn'tarrive

unannounced.

Whenshewalkedthroughtothekitchenitwasclearfromthelook

onTravis'sfacethathedidn'twantanyofthosethings.Hesmiled

ather,aslowsexysmile,beforesaying,'You'rebeautiful,you

knowthat,don'tyou?Evenwithmudalloveryourfacethatfirst

timeIsawyou,Iknewyouwerebeautiful.'

'Idon'tthinkthatwasmud,Travis,'shesaiddrily.

Hegrinned.'Iwasbeingpolite.'

'Right.'Shewasdeterminedtokeepthingslightandun-

complicated.Survivaltechnique.Sheglancedatthetinybreakfast

bar,whichwascoveredwithplatesofexotic-lookingcoldmeat,

severalcheeses,coldsalmon,freshfruit,differenttypesofrolls—

stillwarm,ifthesmellwasanythingtogoby—littleboxesof

cerealandajarofhoney,aswellasthecroissantshehad

mentioned.Hereyeswidened.'Youbroughtallthis?'Itwasa

veritablefeast. .

'Courtesyofthewonderfuldelicatesseninthevillage.Thehoneyis

fromtheirownbees,bytheway,andit'sthebestI'veevertasted.'

Heindicatedtwotrayshehadset,completewithglassesoforange

juice.'Ithoughtwe'deatalfresco.Comeandfillyourplateand

we'lltakeitintothegarden.'

Bethfoundherselfrebellingagainstthewayhehadtakenover.

Noddingherheadatthecoffeepot,shesaid,'I'lljusthaveacoffee

fornow,thanks.Givemystomachachancetowakeupproperly,'

sheaddedpointedly.

'Fine.I'llseetoit.'

HewassounconcernedthatBethimmediatelyfeltchurlish.She

glancedatHarvey,whowassittingramrodstraight,hiswhole

beingfocusedonabagonthedrainingboard.'What'sthematter

withhim?'sheaskedinsurprise.

'Heknowsthere'saknuckleboneinthere.'Travissmiledhis

slightlylopsidedsmile.'I'mnotabovebriberyandcorruption.'

'Youdon'tneedtotrywithHarvey,'Bethsaidflatly.'Ithinkhe

alreadyprefersyoutome.'Shewasn'tjoking.

'Iwasn'ttalkingaboutHarvey.'Travishadbeenpouringtwomugs

ofcoffeeasthey'dspokenandnowhegaveBethhers,adding,'Go

outintothegardenandI'llbringtheboneforHarveytoeatwhile

wedrinkourcoffee.'

WithanecstaticHarveygnawingonahugebone,whichhad

enoughmeatleftonittofeedafamilyoffour,Bethtriedto

concentrateonanythingotherthantheclosenessofthebigmale

bodysittingnexttoherinthewarmsunshineaminutelater.The

littlewoodenbenchwasjustrightforonebutdefinitelyonthe

cosysidefortwo.Travis'sthighwaspressedagainsthersandshe

couldfeelthewarmthofhismuscledfleshthroughthethin

materialofherdress,hisarmoutstretchedatthebackofheralong

thewoodenseatbringingherintothecircleofhisbodyeven

thoughhewasn'tovertlytouchingher.

Thecoffeewasscaldinghotbutshesippedatitnevertheless,

tryingtodispelthevibrationspulsatingfrom thecoreofher.

Pointlesstotellherselfshecouldcontroltheeffectthispowerful

sexualchemistrybetweenthemhadonher.Whenhewasnearlike

thisreasonwentoutofthewindow.UsingHarveyasanexcuse,

shebentdownandstrokedthedog'sroughfur,earningherselfa

quickdoggygrinandlickofherhandbeforehewentbacktothe

businessinhand.

'Goodnaturedanimal,isn'the?'Travissaidaboveher.'Some

animalsgrowlifthey'retouchedwhenthey'vegotaprize.Worried

it'sgoingtobetakenaway,Iguess.'

'IcouldtakeanythingawayfromHarvey,'Bethsaidquietly.'He

trustsme.'

'Howlonghaveyouhadhim?'

Shecouldn'tdothis.Shecouldn'tsitandtalkwiththefeeland

delicioussmellofhimmakingherlegsweakandherpulserace.

Shehadputsomecakeoutonthesmallbirdtableinacornerofthe

tinygardenthenightbefore;nowsheusedthefactsomecrumbs

hadfallenontothefloorasanexcusetomovefromthebench.

Afterpickingupthefragmentsofcake,shescatteredthemonthe

birdtableandthenseatedherselfonthetubofflowersshehadsat

onwhentheyhadbeeninthegardentogetheroncebefore.Itwas

onlythenshesaid,'HarveywasagiftfrommysisterwhenI

movedintomyflatoverayearandahalfago.Hewasjustalittle

puppythen.'

Travisglancedatthepowerfuljawswhichweremakingshort

workofthebone.'Notsolittlenow.Doyoutakehimwithyou

whenyouwork?'

Bethnodded.'AnytimeIcan't,Catherinehashim.Mylittle

nephew,James,loveshimandHarvey'sasgentleasalambwith

him.I'dneverhadadogbeforeanditwouldneverhaveoccurred

tometogetonebutIdon'tknowwhatI'ddowithouthimnow.

Harvey'smorethanadog,he's...'Shestopped,wonderingifhe

wouldthinkshewassilly.

'Afriend?'Travissaidsoftly.

Bethnoddedagain.'Mybestfriend,'shesaidalittledefiantly.'He

helpedmethroughtheworsttimeofmylifeandI'llforeverbe

gratefultohim.'Immediatelysheregrettedsayingit.Itwasn'tthe

waytokeepthingslightandcasual.Butitwastoolatenow.

'Unconditionallove.'Hefinishedhiscoffeeinonegulp.'Animals

haveitinabundancebutit'sararequalityinHomosapiens.''He

leantforwardslightlyandeverynerveinherbodyresponded.'It

musthavebeentough,'hesaidquietly,'andI'msorryyouhadto

enduresomethingsoterriblethroughnofaultofyourown.Life

suckssometimes.'

Shelookedbackathim,anechooftheoldanguishstreaking

throughherbriefly.'WhenIlookbackitwaslosingmyparentsthe

wayIdidthathurtsmost.'Hervoicewassolowhehadtolean

furtherforwardtohearher.'Theywerewonderfulpeople,thebest

parentsintheworld.Funny,butmydadneverdidgetonwith

Keith.Mymumthoughthewaslovely;Keithhadawaywith

women—'hervoiceheldanoteofbitternessforamoment'—but

mydadwasalwaysverywaryofhim.Hewantedustowaitfora

whilebeforewegotmarriedbut...'Sheshrugged.'Love'sblind.'

'Beth,anyonecanbefooledbysomeonewhoisdeterminedand

cunningenough.Itwasnoreflectiononyourjudgementor

anythingelse.Badthingshappentogoodpeople.'

Shestaredathimandhereyeswerehugeandshadowed;shewas

bewilderedathowmuchshe"hadopeneduptohimwhenshehad

beendeterminednotto.'Somepeoplearemoregulliblethan

others.'Thelittlecatchinhervoicetoldhimthiswassomething

veryimportant.'Ididn'tthinkIwaslikethatbutImustbe.How

elsecouldIhavemarriedsomeone,livedwithhim,lovedhim,and

nothaveacluewhathewasreallylike?Iwouldn'thavebelievedit

waspossibleifithadn'thappenedtome.'

'It'spossible.'Hereachedoutandtouchedhermouthtenderlywith

hisfinger,hisvoicedeepandsmoky.'But,asIsaid,it'snothingto

dowithbeinggullibleinyourcase.Keithwassomethingthat

crawledoutfromunderastone,withoutmoralsandprinciples,and

thatgavehimpowerofakind.Youwereunfortunateenoughto

haveyourlifetouchedbyhim butyouhadthestrengthand

couragetodosomethingaboutit.Hewon'tprosper,Beth.Notin

thelongrun.Hiskidswon'trespecthim—theymightnotevenlove

himorwantanythingtodowithhimwhenthey'reolder—and

eventuallyanywomanhegetsinvolvedwithwillseehimforwhat

heis.He'lldiealonelybitteroldmanoneday.'

'Youdon'tknowthat.'Sheshookherhead,hervoiceshaking.'And

howdoyouknowI'mnotgullible?Whyismycasedifferentfrom

lotsofotherswherewomenaretakenforaridetimeandtime

again?'

'Iknowyou.'Hisvoicewasfirmandwarm.

'Butyoudon't.Weonlymetafewweeksago.Youknowhardly

anythingaboutme.Imightbeaserialvictim.'

Travisgaveheracrookedsmile.'Iknowyou,'herepeatedsoftly.

'Andit'snothingtodowithtime.Ithappenslikethatsometimes.

You'renomoreavictimthanIam.'

Shewasverypale,herhauntedeyeswarninghimthathe

hadtakenhertothelimitofherenduranceforthemoment.He

stoodup,hisvoicematter-of-factasthoughtheyhadjustbeen

discussingtheweather,whenhesaid,'I'mforbreakfast,howabout

you?Comingtochooseforyourself?'

'You...yougoandhelpyourself.I'llcomeinaminutewhenI've

finishedmycoffee.'

WhenhedisappearedintothehouseBethwentlimpandsheknew

shewastrembling.ShehopedTravishadn'tnoticed.Howhadhe

madehersayallthat?Andwhathadhemeantbythatlast

comment—thatheknewher?Shepressedherhandtoherheartas

itpoundedagainstherchest.Shedidn'twantanymantoknowher,

togettooclose.Thisideaofthemseeingeachotherwasabad

one—shehadtotellhimshehadchangedhermind.Shehadn't

comeheretogetinvolvedwithanyone,leastofallamemberofthe

malesex,andespeciallyoneas—hermindsoughtforawordto

describeTravisandfailed,shecompromisedon—unusualas

Travis.

Shestoodup,resolvedtogetitoveranddonewithimmediately.

Herstomachchurning,shewalkedintothekitchenandthen

stopped,surprised,whenitwasempty.AmomentlaterTravis

appeared,hismannercasualandhisvoiceeasywhenhesaid,'Left

thenewspapersinthecar.'Hereachedforhistrayashespoke,his

platepiledhighwithenoughfoodforarugbyteam.'I'llseeyou

outside;don'tbelong.'

He'ddisappearedbeforeshecouldsayanything,andwhenshe

joinedhimoutsideaminuteortwolaterhewassittingonthetub

she'dvacated,anewspaperspreadoutonthefloorinfrontofhim

inwhichhewasapparentlyengrossedasheate.Bethsatdownon

thebench,feelingataloss.Shedidn'tknowhowtostartnow.

Somehowtheatmospherehadchangedagain."Youdon'tlookvery

comfortableperchedonthere,'shebegan.

'I'mfine.'Hedidn'traisehisheadfromthenewspaperandhis

voicewaspreoccupied.

Bethgaveupandselectedanewspaperfromthepilehe'dplacedat

oneendofthebench,bitingintoacroissantasshebegantoread.

She'dsaysomethinglater;therewasplentyoftime.

Itwasawarm,lazySundaymorning.Whentheyhadeatentheir

fill—Travispackingawayaninordinateamountoffood—Beth

madesomemorecoffeeandtheycontinuedtoreadthepapersin

thesunshine,sittingsidebysideonthebenchnow.Fatbumble

beesbuzzedamongthetubsofflowers,afamilyofbright-eyed

sparrowschatteredandsquabbledastheyclearedthecakefromthe

birdtableandHarvey,repleteandsatisfied,dozedanddreamed

doggydreamsattheirfeet.

Itwasaperfectsummer'sidyll—oritwouldhavebeenifBeth

hadn'tbeensoedgy.But,likethenightbeforeatthehotel,Travis

hadmovedintocharmingcompanionmode.Afterstretchingout

hislonglegsandtiltinghisheadbackagainstthebackofthe

bench,heappearedtodozeforawhile,beforesuddenlystanding

upandhaulinghertoherfeet.

'Walk,'heannounced.'Burnoffsomecaloriesforlunch.'

Harveyhadheardthemagicwordandsoshecouldn'tobject.

WithHarveygambollingoninfront,theywalkedthroughthe

woods,breathinginthedelicioussmellofgooddampearth

underfoot,beforewalkingthebanksofasparklingtranquilriver.

OrithadbeentranquilbeforeHarveyarrived.Itwasatmoments

likethese,asthebigdogsplashedandchargedaboutinanecstasy

ofenjoyment,thatBethrealisedhewasstilljustapuppyinspiteof

hissize.

Travismadeherlaughoftenastheywalkedandshegradually

foundherselfrelaxingandjustenjoyingthebeautifulmorning.

Daisies,buttercups,richwhitecloverandmanyotherwildflowers

Bethdidn'tknowthenamesofdottedthegrassattheirfeet,the

perfumeofpineheavyinthewarmair.

Travishadtakenherhandatthebeginningofthewalkandshe

hadn'tobjected,wonderingifhewouldpauseandkissheratsome

point.Hedidn't.Hekepttheconversationlightandamusingand

unthreatening,whetherbydesignoraccidentBethwasn'tsure.She

onlyknewthatheremotionshadshiftedyetagainandnowthe

thoughtoffinishingwithhimwasofftheagenda.Whichmadeher

themostfickleoffemales,sheadmittedsoberly,astheybeganto

retracetheirstepstothecottage.Butshejustdidn'tseemtoknow

herownmindwhereTraviswasconcerned.

'What?'ToolateBethrealisedshemusthavebeenstaringathim

andthepiercinggreygazewasnowtrainedonherface.'What'sthe

matter?'

'Nothing.'Sheforcedasmile.'Nothing'sthematter.'

Hestopped,enclosingherwithinhisarms,butloosely.'Don'tbuy

it,'hesaidevenly.'Whatwereyouthinking?'

Shethoughtswiftly.'Iwasjustwonderingaboutthat.'Shetouched

thescaronhisface.'Howyougotit.'

Helookedatherandsheknewhedidn'tbelieveherbuthedidn't

pursuethematter,takingherhandagainandlacingherfingers

throughhisastheybegantowalkon.'Ihadabrother,'hesaid

unemotionally,'Kirk.Hewastwoyearsolderthanme.Shortly

aftermymothermetmystepfatherhetookKirkandIfishingfor

theday.Theboatoverturnedintheriverwhenmystepfather

overbalanced;he'dbeenmessingabout,showingoff.Kirkgot

entangledinsomeweedsandstuff,couldn'tsurface.Ishoutedto

mystepfathertohelpmebuthewasmorebotheredaboutsaving

hisownskin.BythetimeIgotKirktothesurfaceI'dhadtocome

upforairumpteentimes.Hedidn'thaveachance.'Hetouchedthe

scaronhisface.'Therewereallmannerofthingsintheriver;I

don'tknowwhatIcaughtmyfaceon.Ididn'tevenfeelitatthe

time.Itwasn'tuntilwegottothehospitalitstartedhurting.'

'Oh,Travis.'Bethwasappalled.Shestopped,causinghimtohalt

tooandlookather.'I'msosorry,'shesaidweakly.'That'sterrible.'

Henodded.'Yes,itwas.'Foramomentsomethingworkedinhis

faceandthenhegotcontrolagain.'Mystepfatherinsistedhedidn't

helpbecausehecouldn'tswimandhadonlyjustmanagedtogetto

thebankbyafluke.Ididn'tbelievehim.I'dseenhiminthewater

andhecouldswimallright.Butmymotherchosetoaccepthis

story.'

Hesmiledgrimly.'Youtalkedaboutblindloveearlierandthat

reallywasblindlove.Youhadnochoiceinyoursituation,no

warning.Shedid.Allthedangersignalsweretherewithbellson.'

Bethstaredathim.'DidSandrabelieveyou?''Notatthetimebut

latershedid,whenshewaslivingwiththemafterthey'dmarried.

He'san...unpleasantman.''Butyourmother'sstillwithhim?'she

askedsoftly.'Shewon'tleave.'Heshrugged.'Misguidedloyalty.'

Itbotheredhimgreatly,shecouldtell.Suddenlyshehadthecrazy

impulsetowrapherarmsroundhim andkisshim,anover-

whelmingfloodoftendernessconsumingher.Itwasenoughto

shockherintotakingasharpemotionalstepbackwards.'I'msorry,'

shesaidagain,beginningtowalkoncemore.Heshrugged.'Itwas

alongtimeagonow.'Shehadbeenreferringtothefactthathis

motherwasstillwithamanwhoapparentlywasnogood,butshe

didn'telaboratefurtherinview ofhertraitoroushormones.

Fortunately—orperhapsunfortunately,Bethwasn'tsure—Harvey

providedadistractionatthatmomentbycatapultingupcoveredin

wetmudandholdingsomethingwhichhadobviouslybeendeada

longtimeinhisjaws.Intheresultingmayhem—Bethhadtoadmit

afterwardsshe'dbehavedinaverygirlywaybyscreamingand

tryingto"avoidthesmellofwhathewascarrying—theirprevious

conversationwaslost,andoncebackatthecottagethingsreturned

tolightmodeagain.

TravisverykindlyofferedtobathHarveybeforetheylefthimto

goandlunchatalittlecountrypubheknew,andBethlethim.The

smellemanatingfromthebigdogwasevenmoredisgustingthan

theputridgungeshe'dslippedinherfirstnightatthecottage—

whichwassayingsomething.Shewonderedifitwassuchagood

idea,though,whenTravisstrippedoffhisshirtbeforeleadinga

crestfallenHarveytotheshower.Andsheknewitdefinitelyhadn't

beenagoodideawhenthetwoofthemreturned,Harveysweet-

smellingandTravislookingsosexyhermouthdriedinstantly.

He'dgotwet,ashisblackjeanstestified,butitwashisthickly

muscledtorsogleaminglikeoiledsilkwhichreallycausedher

bloodtoheat.Theblackcurlyhaironhischestwasglisteningwith

tinydropletsofwaterandbeneaththeblackdenimhisthighs

lookedhardandpowerful.Itwasanuncompromisinglymalebody.

Virile.Strong.Bethjustlooked—shecouldn'thelpit.

'He'sfeelingalittlesorryforhimself.'TravisindicatedHarvey

withawaveofhishandanditwasonlythenshemanagedtopull

herselftogetherandactnaturally,fussingHarveywhileTravis

pulledonhisshirt.Shecouldstillseethebroadtannedshouldersin

hermind'seye,andthewaythehaironhischestnarrowedtoathin

linedownintohisjeans.Hewouldbeincrediblenaked.Arugged

Adoniswithacharismathatwassomuchmorepowerfulthan

merehandsomeness.

'I'lljustgetmyhandbag,'shemurmured,scamperingintoher

bedroomandthenleaningagainsttheshutdoorforamomentor

twotocomposeherself.Sheliftedherhandstoherhotcheeks.

Thankgoodnesshecouldn'treadhermind.He'dthinkshewasthe

originalsex-starvedfemale.Well,maybeshewasatthat.She

smiledwryly,hersenseofhumourcomingtotherescue.Nowshe

hadfoundtheonbuttonofherlibidoshejustdidn'tseemableto

turnitoff.

Traviswashisnormalcoolurbaneselfwhenshejoinedhim.

Harvey,ontheotherhand,wasdefinitelyoutofsortsandsulking.

ShesmiledatTravisandthenbentandhuggedHarvey—she'd

muchratheritwastheotherwayroundifshewastruthful—before

saying,'Doyouwanttochangeyourjeansbeforewegoforlunch?'

Travisshookhishead.'I'llsoondryinthesun,'hesaidlazily.'The

placewherewe'reeatinghasagardenleadingdowntotheriver

andI'vereservedatableoutside.'

Bethhopedshedidn'tlookasflusteredasshefeltastheyleftthe

cottageandwalkedtoTravis'scar.Ridiculous,butshealmostfelt

she'dseenhimnaked.Butthenshe'dseenanakedmanbefore,for

goodness'sake,hundredsoftimes.Keithhadn'tbeendiffident

aboutshowingoffhisbody.SowhyshouldTravispartlyclothed

affectherahundredtimesmorethanKeithhadeverdonetotallyin

thebuff?

Shewasstillponderinghercapriciousnesswhentheyarrivedatthe

charmingold-worldpubtwentyminuteslater.Thecenturiesold

building,completewiththatchedroofandbrassesandan

enormousoldfireplacewithancientrange,waspackedtothehilt

whentheywalkedin,butalmostimmediatelyasmallplump

peroxide-blondewomanwasattheirside,herfacebeaming.

'Travis!'Sheflungherarmsroundhimandgavehimasmackerof

akissfullonthelips.'Abouttimeyoushowedyourfacehere.I

wasonlysayingtoDavetheotherdaywehadn'tseenyoufor

weeks.'

'Sorry,Mavis.'Travisdisentangledhimselffromtheembraceand

drewBethforward.'MeetBeth,'hesaidsoftly.'Beth,thisisMavis,

thelandladyoftheestablishment,whoisalsomarriedtomyoldest

friend,Dave.ItwaswhenIwasvisitingthemsomeyearsagoI

heardaboutthehouseforsaleanddecidedtobuyaweekendplace

here.'

'Pleasedtomeetyou,Beth.'

AsMavisturnedtoher,Bethbecameawareshewasbeing

scrutinisedverythoroughlybyapairofblueeyessurroundedby

pandamake-up.Alittletakenaback,shemurmured,'Hello,Mavis.

I'mpleasedtomeetyoutoo.'

'I'vekeptyourtableonceDavesaidyouwerecoming.'Mavis

turnedbacktoTravis,adding,'Yourjeansarewet.Whatonearth

haveyoubeendoing?'

'WashingBeth'sdog.Wetookhimforawalkafterbreakfastand

hemanagedtodisgracehimself.'

'Right.'Mavisnodded.'Badasyourtwothen,ishe?'

Bethdidn'tknowifTraviswasawarethatMavishadputtwoand

twotogetherandmadetenwiththatstatementaboutafter

breakfast,butshe'dseenthegleamintheotherwoman'seyeas

she'dglancedatthemboth.Quicklynowshesaid,"Travisarrived

onmydoorstepthismorninghavingboughtupmostofthegoodies

inthelocaldelicatessen,soifIdon'tdofulljusticetoyourlunch

it'shisfault.'

'Oh,don'tyouworry,dear,we'veallsortstochoosefrom.

Ifyouwantsomethinglightthesalmoninprawnanddillsauceis

lovely.YoutwogothroughtothegardenandI'llbringyourdrinks

toyou.Whatareyouhaving?'

HavinggivenMavistheirorderandwavedatDave,whowas

manningthebarwiththehelpofacoupleofbarmaids,Travistook

herhandandledherthroughthepubandoutintothegarden.It

wasn'tatallwhatBethhadexpected,havinganalmostcottagey

feeltoitratherthanthesmoothlawnscoveredwithumpteenpicnic

tablessuchestablishmentsusuallyboasted.Smallwroughtiron

tablesandchairsweredottedhereandtherebetweenriotous

flowerbedsandsweet-smellingbushesandtubs,severaltrees

providingwelcomeshadefromthehotsuninsomeplaces.The

wholegardenwasonaveryslightslopewhichleddowntothe

banksoftheriver,asmallfenceprovidingprotectionforchildren

fromthedeepwater,andanarmyofducksandswansscattered

alongthebankontheotherside.

Travisstoppedatasmalltablefortwosetslightlyapartfromthe

othersundertheshadeofasilverbirchtreewhichoverlookedthe

glitteringwater,pullingoutherchairandthen,onceshewas

seated,sittingdownhimself.Itwasonlythenhesaid,andvery

quietly,'Whysodefensive,Beth?Isitreallysounthinkablefor

anyonetoimaginewemightbelovers?'

Shestaredathim,flushing.'Idon'tknowwhatyoumean,'shelied.

'Noone'ssaidanythingaboutusbeinglovers.'

'Isawyourface.'Thegreygazewasunblinking.

'Travis—'

'Whatitisaboutmethatmakesthethoughtofourbeingintimate

sorepugnant?'

Hewasangry.Hewashidingitunderthesmoothcontrolled

exteriorandhisvoicewaswithoutheat,butsheknew

hewasangry.Swallowinghard,shemurmured,'It'snotlikethat.

I'vetoldyouIcan'tgetinvolvedwithanyone;Ididn'twantMavis

togettheideawewereserious,that'sall.'

'It'snotcan't,Beth.It'swon't.'

'What?'Shebroketheirsharedgaze,hercheeksburning.

'Yousaidyoucan'tgetinvolvedwithanyone.That'snottrue.

You'reafreeagent.Youcanpleaseyourselfexactlywhatyoudo

withtherestofyourlife.'Heleantbackinhischair,surveyingher

fromchilledgreyeyes.'ItoldyouIhavenoexpectationsandthat

wecantakethisasslowlyasyouwant,socouldyoudomethe

favourofatleastpretendingtorelaxandenjoyourbeingtogether.

It'sgettingamiteuncomfortable,thisfeelingthatyouexpectmeto

jumponyouatanymomentandhavemywickedway.'

'Idon't.'Therewasalumpexpandinglikedoughinherthroat.

Everythinghadsuddenlygonewrongandshewasshakenbythe

swiftnessofit.Anditcertainlywasn'tthefactthatsheexpected

him toforcetheissuesexuallythatwasattheheartofher

edginess—morethatshemightnotbeabletokeepherhandsoff

himformuchlonger.Butshecouldhardlyadmitthat.Shehadto

saysomething,though,andshedidn'tknowwhat.

'No?'Heleantforwardandtookherhand.'Thenwhyareyou

tremblingrightnow?'heaskedevenly.'Youmakemefeellikethe

MarquisdeSade,damnit.'

Self-protectionviedwithconfusionandguilt.Shedidn'twantto

makeTravisfeelbadbutshedidn'tknowhowtoexplainwhereshe

wasatwithoutopeningherselfuptobeingvulnerable.Andthat

wouldgivehimevenmorepoweroverherthanhehadatpresent.

Shefoughtwithherselfforafewendlessmomentsandthentooka

deepbreath.'I'mfrightenedImightgrowtolikeyoumorethanI

wantto,'shesaidatlast.

'Iwasn'treadytomeetanyonewhenImetyou.Ididn'twanttobe

attractedtoamanforalong,longtime.'

Hiseyescontinuedtoholdherforanothermomentashesearched

herface.'That'sallitis?'

Allitis?Cheek.Shehadjustbaredhersoulandheactedasthough

itwasnothing.Shenodded.

Hesighedsoftlybutsomethinginhisfacehadmellowedandhe

lookedliketheTravisshewasusedtoagain.'Beth,I'veneverbeen

inanydoubtthatyouneedtosortyourselfout,'hesaiddrily.'And

franklyIprefermybedpartnerstobetherebecausetheyareone

hundredpercentcertaintheywanttobe.OK?It'snotjustyour

bodyIwantbetweenmysheets—'sheshivered,shecouldn'thelp

it,andthekeengreygazedeepened'—butyou.Understand?Mind,

soulandspirit.I'mgreedy,'headdedunrepentantly.

Theskywasveryblueatthebackofhimandsomewheredownon

theriverbankshecouldhearducksquack-quacking,thelight

summerbreezestrokingherfacewithitswarmth.Shewondered

whathisreactionwouldbeifsheaskedhimtotakeherstraight

hometohisbedbecauseeveryfibreofherbeingwantedit.It

wouldcutthrougheverythingshehadsaidinthelastminutesbut

neverthelessthewordshoveredonhertongue.'Hereweare,then.

Sorryaboutthedelay,butit'smadnessinthere.'Mavisbustledup

withthebottleofwineTravishadordered,twoglassesanda

coupleofmenus.'Davewillseeyoulater,'sheaddedtoTravis,

'andhesaidtosayhe'stoldcheftoputapairoflambshanksbyin

caseyoufancyyourusual.Hebraisestheminaportandredcurrant

sauce.'SheturnedtoBeth,includingherintheconversation.'And

franklywecannevergetenoughtosatisfydemand.Butofcourse

there'splentyofotherdishestochoosefromifyou'renotoverly

hungry.I'llleaveyoutoit,then.'Sheflashedthembothabeaming

smile.'I'llbebackinfiveminutestotakeyourorder.'Andwith

thatshesailedoff.

'She'sabundleofenergy.'TravishadnoticedBeth'sslightly

bemusedexpression.'WhereasDave'sthemostlaid-backsoulin

theworld.A definitecaseofoppositesattracting,buttheir

marriageisrocksolid.'

'Howlonghavetheybeenmarried?'saidBeth,gladtomovetoa

safetopicandsecretlyaghastathownearshehadcometo

renouncingallherhithertosensibledemandsthattheytakethings

slowly.ThankgoodnessMavishadcomewhenshedid.

'Tenyears.Wewereallatuniversitytogether,althoughI'dknown

Daveatschool.HeprovedhimselftobeagoodfriendwhenKirk

died,'Travissaidcalmly.

Bethstaredathim.Hehadstartedtopourthewineandhishand

wassteady,hisvoiceeven,butsheknewthethoughtofhisbrother

waspainful.Shedidn'tknowhowsheknewbutshejustdid.He

wasbynomeansfullyoverwhathadhappened,buttheninsuch

casesperhapsoneneverreallyrecovered?Maybethebesttohope

forwastolearntolivewiththepain?

Shefelttooemotionalherselftogodownthatavenuesoinstead

shesaid,'Dotheyhaveanychildren?'

'Five.'Andthenhesmiledthesmilethatmadesuchadifferenceto

thehardruggedfacewhenhermouthdroppedopen."Butthereare

twosetsoftwinsinthere;theyruninthefamilyonMavis'sside,

apparently.Theyhadaboyfirstandthentwosetsofgirls.It's

bedlamsometimes,accordingtoDave.'

'Wow.'Bethwasgenuinelyimpressed.'IthinkI'dhavechickened

outatthree.'

'Butyouhavetotakepassionintoaccount,'Travissaidgravely.'I

gatherthelastpregnancywasaresultofoneofthosewildnights

whentheycouldn'tgetenoughofeachotherandprecautionswere

thelastthingontheirminds.'

Bethrefusedtoblushbecausesheknewthatwasexactlywhathe'd

hadinmind.Shealsorefusedtodwellonthesmokyqualitytohis

voiceandthewayhewaslookingather.'Luckyoldthem.'She

reachedforherglassofwineandhadagoodfewgulps.There,that

wasbetter.Thesizzlinginherbloodwasundercontrolagain.'But

Ishouldimaginelife'sabithecticwithfiveyoungchildren,'she

saidprimly,ignoringthequirktohismouth.'Especiallywithapub

torun.'

'Mavis'sparentslivewiththematthepub;theyallwentinto

businesstogethersohelp'salwaysathand.'Travishandedhera

menu.'Wouldn'tsuitme;I'dwantmywifealltomyself.'Hisdark

eyesstrokedoverherfaceandherpulsequickened.'Butthey'reas

happyasbugsinrugs.'

Heleantforwardagain,hisfingerstweakingthethinstrapofher

dressbackontohershoulderfromwhereithadslipped.Histouch

setherskinonfireandBethinwardlygroanedatherweakness.

'Yourskin'slikesilk,'hemurmured.'Warmsilkkissedbythesun,

softandsmooth.Amancouldlosehimselfinsuchsoftness,do

youknowthat?'

Shewantedtomakesomelightthrowawaycomment,something

wittywhichwoulddefusethemomentbutwithoutembarrassment,

butshecouldn't.Shejuststaredathim,herheartthunderinginher

ears.

'Iwanttomakelovetoyouuntilyouforgetwhatdayitis,what

monthitis,whatyear,untilthereisnothingintheworldbutusand

whatwe'redoingtoeachother.Itwouldbelikethat,Iknowit.The

restoftheworldwouldfadeawayasthoughitdidn'texist.'And

thenhesettledhimselfbackinhisseatandpickeduphismenu,his

voicesuddenlyshockinglymatter-of-factashesaid,'Butuntilthat

dayI'lljusthavetobepatient.Thelamb'sfantastic,bytheway.I'd

seriouslyadviseyoutotryit.'

CHAPTEREIGHT

Thelambwasfantasticandsowastherestofthemeal.Theyhad

arrivedjustaslastorderswerebeingtakenandbythetimethey

wereatthecoffeestagethegardenwasallbutdesertedandthepub

hadclosed.MavisandDavejoinedthemattheirtableandthefour

ofthemsatforalongtimetalkingandlaughing,Mavis'sparents

bringingthechildrenoutatonepoint.Thelittleboy,wholookedto

besevenoreight,obviouslyadoredTravisandinsistedonsitting

onhiskneeforthetimethatremained,althoughthegirlswere

takeninforanapbytheirgrandmotherafterjustafewminutes.

Bethhadtoadmittoherselfthatshefeltallatoddswatching

Traviswiththechild.Forsuchabigmasculinemanhewas

extraordinarilygentlewiththelittleboyandperfectlyrelaxedin

hisroleof'UncleTravis'.Shedidn'tknowwhybutshehadn't

expectedhim tobesoinstinctivewithchildrenbuthewasa

natural.He'dbeonegreatfather.

Theyleftatfiveo'clocksoMavisandDavecouldgetreadyfor

openingagainatsix-thirty,andbythenBethhadsomanydifferent

impressionswhirlinginhermindthatshe'dgivenherselfa

headache.EverytimeshewaswithTravisheseemedtoshowa

differentsidetohimself,orperhapssheshouldsayheshowed

moreofhimself,shecorrectedsilently.Whatever,itwas

disconcerting.Shehadbeenhopingthemoreshegottoknowhim

thelessshewouldbeattractedtohim buttheoppositewas

happening.Whichwasn'tgood.Orwasit?

OntheridebacktothecottagehesaidlittlebutBethwaslostin

herownthoughtsanyway.Andtheywereallabouthim.Sexwitha

virtualstranger,justforthehellofit,hadneverheldanyappealfor

herbutthetroublewasthatTraviswasnotastrangeranymore.

Farfromit.Infact,shecouldhardlybelievehowwellshefeltshe

knewhimconsideringthey'donlyknowneachothersuchashort

time.Andthenagain,shedidn'tfeelsheknewanythingabouthim.

Whichdidn'tmakesense.Likeallofthis.Theonlyconsistentthing

inthewholescenariowasherinconsistency,shethoughtruefully.

WhyonearthTraviswasevenbotheringwithherinthefirstplace

shedidn'tknow.Shemustseemlikeamadwomantohim.

Theywerebackatthecottage.Bethrealisedwithalittlejoltthat

shehadn'tevennoticedhimdrawontothesideofthelaneand

stopthecar.TravisexitedtheAstonMartinandwalkedroundthe

bonnet,openingherdoorandassistingheroutofthelow-slungcar

withahandatherelbow.Hewalkedwithhertothefrontdoorof

thecottage,butasshereachedforthekeyinherhandbaghishand

closedoverhers.

'I'dprefertosaygoodnightbeforeHarveymakesanappearance,'

hesaidwithgood-naturedwryness,takingherintohisarmsbefore

shecouldsayanything.

Hismouthclosedoverherswithacertaintythatsaidanyobjection

wasn'tanoption,notthatBethwantedtoobject.Infactshe'dbeen

waitingforthismomentforthelastfew hours,sherealised

helplessly.Shegaveherselfuptotheexquisitesensationwashing

overher,tremblingasthekissdeepenedandintensified.

Travishadplacedahandinthesmallofherbacktosteadyheras

hemouldedherintohim,hislegsslightlyapartashepleasured

himselfwiththefeelofherbodyandherwarmmouth.Asshe

begantokisshimbackhemadeaharshgutturalsoundinthebase

ofhisthroat,hisotherhandcuppingherbreastandrubbingthe

engorgedpeakwithaslowlanguorousrhythmthatsentsharp

needlesofpleasureintothecoreofher.

Beth'shandsmovedtohisshoulders,feelingthemuscledstrength

beneathherfingerswithakindofwonderingtriumph.Itwas

exhilaratingtoknowshecouldinspiresuchdesireinamanlike

Travis,andtherewasnodoubthewantedher.Hisheartwas

slammingagainstthesolidwallofhischestandhewasbreathing

hard,hisarousalfierceagainstthesoftswellofherbelly.

Soitcameasallthemoreofadrenchingshockwhenheliftedhis

mouthfromhersamomentlater,puttingherfromhimgentlybut

firmlyashesaidthickly,'Ihavetogo.I'llseeyounextweek,

Beth.'

Shestaredathim,unabletotakeinforasecondthathewas

leaving.Shedidn'twanthimtogo.'Travis—'

'Goodnight,Beth.Dreamofme,OK?'

Thecontrolwasback,eventhoughhewasstillbreathinghard,his

chestrisingandfallingbeneaththethinmaterialofhisshirt.But

hiseyeswerefocusedandsteady,hismouthfaintlysternashe

steppedbackwards.

Shecouldn'tsayanythingmore;speechwasbeyondherasshe

watchedhimturnandwalktotheAstonMartincrouchedinthe

lane.Everythinginherwantedtorunafterhimandbeghimto

continuewhathehadbegun,butthefactthathehadbeenableto

leaveherwasthethingthatstoppedher.

Shedidn'tunderstandhim.Shedidn'tunderstandhowhecould

walkawayatatimelikethis,shethoughtfeverishlyasthe

powerfulcardisappearedinacloudofdust.Hemusthaveknown

thatshewantedhim.Hewasanexperiencedmanoftheworld,

afterall,usedtoreadingsexualsignalsandunspokendesires.And

shehadn'texactlybeendisguisinghowshe'dfelt.

ItwasHarvey'saggrievedbarkingthatbroughtherbacktoreality.

Asshequicklyopenedthedoorthebigdogstaredather

reproachfullybeforeexitingthehouse,onlytoturnandlookather

againwithadistinctlyill-usedexpression.

'Yes,OK,he'sgone,'Bethsaidirritably.'AndI'mnottoopleased

aboutiteither,allright?Butitappearshecantakeorleaveusso

you'dbettergetusedtoit.'

Harveysurveyedheramomentmorefromsoulfulbrowneyes

beforemarchingbackintothecottageagain,everylineofhisbody

statingthatasshehadincarceratedhim insideonaglorious

summerafternoonandthendeprivedhimofthecompanyofhis

favouritehuman,theleastshecoulddowastosetaboutseeingto

hisdinner.

BythetimeshewenttobedBeth'sequilibriumhadbegunto

stabilise.Itwouldhavebeenamomentousmistaketogotobed

withTravis,sheassuredherselffortheumpteenthtimeasshe

snuggledunderthecrispcottonsheet.Thenightwastoowajmfor

evenasummerduvet.Hugemistake.Gigantic.Sohe'ddonehera

favourincuttingthingsshort.Noquestionaboutit.Shejust

wishedithadbeenherwhohadcalledahalt,thatwasall.Itwas

gallingintheextremetoknowsheaffectedhimsofleetinglythat

hecouldwalkawayatatimelikethat.

Theowlhootedjustoutsidethebedroomwindowbutthesound

didn'tthrillherlikeitusuallydid.

'Iamnotgoingtothinkaboutthisamomentmore.'Shesaidthe

wordsoutloud,hopingthesoundofhervoicewouldclarifythings.

'He'sgoneforanotherweekandthat'sfine,absolutelyfine.Ifhe

turnsupattheweekendandcallsby,nodoubtwe'llhaveanice

time.Ifhedoesn't...'TherehadbeenlifebeforeTravisBlackand

therewouldbelifeafterhim.Allthisreallywasn'taproblem

unlessshemadeitone.Simple.Sonowallshehadtodowastogo

tosleep.

Bethhadtakensomeaspirinfortheheadacheearlier,nowshe

purposefullyemployedherselfingoingthroughtherelaxing

techniquesshehadlearntintheaftermathofhermarriagebreak-

up.EverytimeherwaywardmindveeredTravis'swayshebrought

itbackundercontrol.Itwasn'teasybutshepersevered.And

persevered.Andpersevered.

Nevertheless,thesunwasalreadycomingupbeforeshedriftedoff

intoatroubledsleeppopulatedbydisturbingdreamsshecouldn't

rememberinthebrightclearlightofmorning.ExceptthatTravis

hadfeaturedheavilyineveryone.

Thenextfewdayspassedbyinthelazypleasantfashionshehad

gotusedtosincemovingtoShropshire.WalkswithHarvey,meals

whenshewashungry,sleepwhenshewastired.Noonetoanswer

tobutherself.Exceptnow itwasn'tenough.Somethingwas

missing.Shewasn'tbraveenoughtoexamineexactlywhatitwas,

butasFridaydrewnearshebecameasjumpyasacatonahottin

roof.

Thursdayshespentcleaningthecottageuntileverysurfacewas

shinyandpolishedandthewindowsgleamed,andFridayshe

potteredaboutinthegarden,wateringtheplantsand

weeding.Thegoodweathercontinuedinspiteofdirewarningson

thenewsthatmassivestormswereexpectedwhentheheatwave

finallybroke.

Sheheardthecarlongbeforeshesawitmid-afternoonasshewas

tryingtopersuadesometinypansiestoraisetheirheadsinthenew

flowerbedsshe'dcreatedinthefrontgarden.Herheartthudding,

sherosetoherfeet,herhandtremblingassheshadedhereyesand

lookedtowardsthelanebehindthecottagegarden.Harveyhad

obviouslyrecognisedtsoundofthecartoobecausethebigdog

hadgallopedoverthegardengatewherehenowstood,whining

excitedly.

BythetimeTravisexitedtheMercedesEstateshehadhailed

herselftogether,hervoicefriendlyandhersmilewarmnottoo

warmasshecalled,'Hithere.Yougotawayearlieraweek,then?'

Heopenedandclosedthegate,pattingHarveyandthenwalking

uptoherbeforehesaid,'Madesureofit,'hisvoicelikedark

velvet.'Nothingwouldhavestoppedmeleaving.'

"Good.’Shedidn'tknowwhatelsetosay,notwithhimsodose

andlookinggoodenoughtoeat.

Hestudiedherfaceforamoment,ahalf-smilecurvinghislips.

'Silkysoft,tousledandkissable,'hemurmured.'I'vebeenthinking

aboutthisallweek.'Andthenhetookherintohisarms.

HiskisswaspassionatebutevenasBethkissedhimbackshewas

awareofhistotalcontroloverhimself.Afterawhilebeheldher

awayfromhimbutnotbeforethemuscledstrengthofhisbodyand

thescentandfeelofhimhadstirredinheranervousexhilaration

combinedwithadeepneed.'You'vegotdirtonyourforehead,'he

saideasily,touchingthesmudgeonherfacewithalazyfinger.

'HowaboutyougoandgetcleanedupwhileIputHarveywith

ShebaandSkyinthebackofthecarandweeatatmyplace

tonight?I'veacoupleoffilletsteaksandsomeothergoodiesinthe

car.'

Shenodded,mainlybecauseshedidn'ttrustherselftospeakright

atthatmoment.Hekissedheragain,afleetingkissthistime,and

thenletgoofher,turningandwalkingawaywithHarveybounding

besidehim.

Bethwasgladofthetimetocomposeherselfasshewashedand

changedoutofhervesttopandshortsintoasoftsummerdress.

Shehadmissedhimthelastfewdays,sheadmittedtoherselfas

shebrushedherhairintoasleekcurtainfallingeithersideofher

face.Shejusthadn'trealisedhowmuchuntilshehadheardhiscar

approaching.Butshehadn'tmissedthemessagehiskisshadbeen

sending.Itstatedthatheintendedtoplayfairinallofthisandkeep

tohispromisethattheywouldplaythegamebyherrules,ather

pace.Whichwasgood.Oritwouldhavebeenifsheknewwhat

herpacewas.Asitwas,shedidn'thaveaclue.

AssheleftthehousetojoinTravisandthedogsinthecarIthe

firstbigfatraindropsbegantofallandarollofthundergrowled

acrossthesky.Butitdidn'tmatter.Nothingmatteredbecauseshe

hadthewholeweekendwithTravisinfrontofher.Justthethought

ofitwasintoxicating.

Shelookedathimthroughtheopenwindowofthecarandhis

eyes,asgreyasthecloudsthathadspreadacrossthebluesky,but

veryclear,smiledbackather.Shefeltherheartgivealittlejump

asoneblackeyebrowquirkedupandhesaid,'Perhapsnotthe

barbecueIwasthinkingof,afterall,butacandlelitdinnerinstead.

Howaboutthat?'

'Fine.'Sheslidintothecar,hopingsheappearedmorecooland

self-possessedthanshefelt.'Soundsgreat.'

Heleanttowardsher,hisfaceverycloseandhisheavilylashed

eyesglintingastheyfocusedonhermouth.Onefingersoftly

touchedwherehiseyeshadstrokedbeforemovingdownthecurve

ofherchinandslowly,veryslowlyandseductivelycontinuinga

pathdownherthroatandintothesoftswellofhercleavage.'Nice

dress,'hesaidthroatilybeforekissingherfullonthelipsandthen

startingthecar.

'Thankyou,'shesaidprimly,herheartracing.

"You'rewelcome.'Hegrinnedather,adevilishgleaminhiseyes

whichmadeherwonderifsheshouldhavechosenadresswitha

higherneckline.

Butthisone,asleevelessshiftinpurewhitewithatrimofdeep

blue,madethemostofherrecentlyacquiredtanandemphasised

thecolourofhereyes.Andshehadwantedtolookniceforhim.

Nice...Thewordmockedherwithitsdemureness.Shedidn'twant

tojustlookniceforTravis,shewanted—

Bethcutoffherthoughtsruthlessly,refusingtoacknowledgethe

noticeableelectricityintheairwhichwasnothingtodowiththe

worseningweatherandalltodowiththebigdarkmanatherside.

'Haveyouhadagoodweek?'sheaskedevenly.

'So-so.'Heglancedather.'Lonelydinners,evenmorek»nely

breakfasts.'

Bethswallowed.Ifhewassayingwhatshethoughthewas

saying...'Youdon'thavetobelonelyonmyaccount,'shesaid

carefully.'ImeanIdon'texpectyoutochangeyourhfestyle

becausewe'reseeingeachotherwhenyou'reupintheseparts.If

youwantto...dateotherwomen,that'sfine.'

'Changemylifestyle?'Hisvoicewassteady,expressionlesseven,

buttherewasthemerestsomethingwhichalertedhertothefact

thatshehadannoyedhim.'Whatdoyouthinkmy"lifestyle"

consistsof,Beth?Anorgyofone-nightstands?

Amerry-go-roundofbedpartners?Thelittleblackbookbythe

phone,maybe?'

No,shedidn'tthinkthat.Traviswasnotapromiscuousman,she

wouldbetherlifeonit.Hewasahighlydiscriminatingand

intelligentindividualwhowouldwantmorethanmerephysical

stimulationfromanywomenhewasinvolvedwith.Quitehowshe

hadarrivedatthisknowledge,Bethwasn'tsure,butitwasthere.'I

didn'tmeantoinsinuatethat.'Shelookeddownatherhands,

wonderingwhyshewasforeverdestinedtomessthingsupwith

thisman.'Idon'tthinkyouarelikethatatall.'

'No?'Hepausedsignificantly.'Sureaboutthat?'

Sheraisedherhead,glancingattheruggedprofile.'Yes,I'msure,'

shesaidveryfirmly.

Therewasamomentofexplosivesilence.'Good.'Onesmallword

buthisvoicewaswarmagain.'But,fortherecord,letmejust

emphasisethatonewomanatatimeismorethanenoughforme,

especiallyifthewomaninquestionhappenstobeablue-eyed

blondearchitect.OK?Howeverthingsturnoutbetweenus.Doyou

understandwhatI'mgettingathere?'

'Iwasjusttryingtosay—'

'Iknowwhatyouweretryingtosay,Beth,'hesaidevenly.This

timethesilencewasshorterbutjustaschargedbeforehe

continued,'ButIexpectfidelityinreturn;itworksbothways.Just

sowebothknowwherewestand.'

Didheseriouslythinktherewasevenachanceofherbeing

interestedinanothermanwhenhewasaround?Andthenshe

immediatelycheckedherself,alteringthethoughtto—whenshe

hadjustbeenthroughatraumaticdivorce?'Iwouldn'tdreamof

seeinganyoneelse,'shesaidwithveryrealindignation.'Ofcourse

Iwouldn't.'

'AndneitherwouldI.'Hesmiled,andtherewasamusement■his

voiceashesaid,'Sothat'sallright,then.Weseeeyeneyeonthe

fundamentals,whichisahealthystarttoanyrelationship.It'sgood

tocleartheair,don'tyouthink?'

Cleartheair?Shedidn'tanswerbutsheknewshewasoustingina

thickwhirlingsmogthroughwhichshewaswalkingbitbybit

withoutanyvisibledirection.Hescaredher.Hefascinatedherand

disturbedherandbroughtallsortsofwildthoughtsandemotions

tothesurface,emotionsshewouldhaveswornonoathshewas

incapableofjustweeksago,butinspiteofeverythingshecouldn't

expelhimfromherlife.Notyet.Shewouldregretitforeverifshe

did.This...attractionbetweenthemhadtorunitscourseandslowly

begintowane,assuchthingsalwaysdid.Onlythenwouldshebe

abletoputitdowntoasharplearningcurveaboutbothherselfand

whatwaspossibleinthefuture.

Theyhadarrivedatthehouse.Travisopenedthebackoftheestate

carandthethreedogsboundedout,Harveyappearingextremely

pleasedwithhimself.Thetwofemaleshadobviouslyfully

acceptedhimandhewasdelightedwiththecaninecompany.

Therainwascomingdowninasheetnow,thesummerstorm

suddenlyferocious,anddespiteitonlybeingafewstepstothe

frontdoorBethwasdrippingwaterbythetimehewasstandingin

thehall.Travisdisappearedintothedown-stairscloakroomand

reappearedwithafluffytowel.'Here.'Hehandedittoher,raking

backhisownwethair,carelessoftieshowerofdroplets.'I'llput

somecoffeeon,orperhapsyou'dpreferaglassofwine?'

Shewould,actually.Sheneededsomethingstrongerthancoffee

afterseeingTravisdampandsexy,hisshirtmouldedtohis

muscledchestandhisfiveo'clockshadowaccentuatinghisvirile

maleness.'Wine,please,'shemanagedshakily.

'Goodchoice.'Hegrinnedatherandathousandnerve-endings

respondedinanorchestraofpuresensation.

Onceinthemassivekitchen,Bethperchedherselfonastooland

triedtopretendshewascalmandcollectedasrainhurleditself

againstthewindowandthunderrolledominouslyoverhead.She

hadneverbeenatherbestinastormbutwiththethreedogsas

coolascucumbersandTravisutterlyrelaxedandateaseshewould

ratherdiethanadmittothejitters.Nevertheless,asaparticularly

savageslashoflightningforkedacrossthesky,shefeltherself

flinchandimmediatelythepiercinggreyeyeswereonherface.

'OK?'Travissaidmildly.

Bethnodded.'Fine.Itjustmademejump,that'sall.'

'Summerstormsarealwaystheworst.Atmosphericsandallthat.'

Sheopenedhermouthtoagreewithhimbutthewordswerenever

voicedasthemosttremendousbangshehadeverheardshookthe

windows.Shescreamed—shecouldn'thelpit—butasthedogshad

leapttotheirfeetandwerebarkingmadlyherscreamwaslostin

thegeneralmelee.

Travishadreachedherandtakenherintohisarmsinthenext

moment,hisvoicesoothingashemurmured,'It'sOK,don'tpanic.

Ithinkit'shitsomethingoutside,notthehouse.'

'Butitwassoloud.'Shefoundshewasshaking.

Hepushedherbackdownonthestoolandwalkedtothewindow,

staringoutintothewildafternoonastherainstreameddownthe

glass.'It'soneoftheoaktrees,bythelookofit,'hesaidaftera

momentortwo.'Lightning'ssliceditintwo.'

Bethjoinedhimatthewindowandasherhandcametohermouth

shelookedwithfascinatedhorroratwhatwasvirtuallyhalfahuge

treelyingacrossthelawn,thetopmostbranchesstretchedout

almosttothehousewalls.'Poorthing,'diewhispered,hereyes

movingtothesplinteredremainsjustvisiblethroughthedeluge.'It

won'trecover,willit?'

'It'samajorbranch,admittedly,thattreeforkedintwofromthe

trunk,butyou'dbeamazedattheresilienceofnature.Tillgeta

goodtreesurgeoninandwithabitofticitmightrally.Evenwith

thecruellestofblowsyoudon'thavetoliedownandplaydead.'

Hewasn'ttalkingabouttheoaktreeanymore.Bethstaredathim

asheturnedandlookeddownintoherpalefacebeforefoldingher

intohimagain.

Hiskissesweredruggingandsweet,hislargehandspowerfully

gentleandwonderfullyexperiencedashebegantoshapeher.Beth

wasawareoftheheatofhisfingersthroughdiethinmaterialofthe

dress,thesensualonslaughtslowandlazybutenchantinglyerotic.

Histonguerippledalongherteeth—Bethshivered.Hishands

workedmagiconhersilkyskin—shearchedhelplessly.Helethis

moutheaseitswaytohercheeks,herears,herthroat,hiskisses

gatheringinintensityuntiltheywerehotandintoxicating.Hewas

evokingachingpleasurewhereverhismouthandhandstouched

buthetookhistime,sizzlingintothedampscentedshadowsofher

collarboneasemurmuredhernameinasmokyvoicethatsent

tremorsfloodingdowntohertoes.

Thetaste,thesmellofhimspuninherheadandshefoundshe

couldn'tgetcloseenoughtohim,littlewhimperscomingfromher

throatassheclungtothebroadwidthofhisshoulders.Thedesire

hewasevokingwaslikeafireinsideher,spreadingdangerously,

andshehadnothoughtofpullingawayortryingtostopthespell

he'dwovenaroundthem.Thiswasadifferentworld,adifferent

universe,andeverythingelsehadmeltedaway.

Whenhegatheredherupandbegantocarryhersheknewwhere

theywereheadingandmadenoefforttostophim.Shecould

hardlybelieveitthereforewhen,insteadofmakingforthestairsas

shehadimagined,hecarriedherthroughtothesprawlingoak-

beamedsittingroomandsatdownwithheronhislapinoneofthe

deepsofas.ButthenhewaskissingheragainandBethceasedto

think.Shedidn'tcarewheretheywereaslongashekeptholding

her.

Shefoundhersoftnessfittedintothehardframeofhismalebody

asthoughithadbeencreatedforthatpurpose.Hiskissesand

caressesweredeeper,hungrier,guidedbyacontrolledassuranceof

herresponse.Herbodywasbetrayingherneedofhimjustashis

arousalconfirmedwhatshewasdoingtohim,hismanhoodrock-

hardandhisbreathingharshandguttural.Shefeltshecouldn'tget

closeenoughtohim.

HowlongtheystayedinthesensualbubblehehadcreatedBeth

wasneversure,butgradually,astherainabatedandthelight

outsidethesittingroomwindowsbecamebrightagain,sherealised

hewasn'tgoingtotakethingsanyfurther.Hiskisseshadbecome

lighter,softer,hishandsceasingtheirwanderingsbeforehe

straightenedherdressandthenrosetohisfeetstillwithherinhis

arms.Ashelethergentlytothefloorhereyesopened,disbelief

warringwithdesire.'Travis?'

Itwasasoftconfusedmurmurandforamomentsomethingflared

inthegreyeyeswhichmadeherthinkhewasgoingtotakeher

upstairsafterall.Thenashuttercamedown,blankingtheemotion.

'It'stoosoon,'hesaidquietly,answeringtheunspokenquestionin

herface.'Allthisisnewtoyou,isn't?Yourbodyistellingmeso.'

Shestiffened,rejectionwhiteningherface.'Iwasmarriedfora

while,'sheremindedhimtightly.'Ihavemadelovewithaman

before.'

‘Idon'tthinkso.'And,asshewenttoobject,heputafingeronher

lips.'You'vebeentakenbyamanbefore,'hecontinuedverysoftly,

'butthat'snotthesamethingatall.Hedidn'ttakethetimeto

awakenyou,tobringyoualive.Oh,heprobablypleasuredyoua

little—I'mnotsayingheforcedyou—buthewasmoreintenton

hisownpleasurethanyours.'

"Howcanyousaythat?Youdon'tknowKeith;you'velevereven

methim.'Foramomentshewonderedwhyshewasarguingwith

himwhenithadbeenherwhohadinsistedshedidn'twanttoget

involvedwithhim,physicallyorinanyotherway.Butsomehow

logichadgoneoutofthewindow.IknowallIneedtoknowabout

himfromhowyouare.'Edcontrasttoherclippedvoice,hiswas

calmandcool.

'Hedidn'tworshipyouwithhisbody,Beth.Hedidn'tspendhours

takingyoufromonepeakofpleasuretothenextuntilyoufought

you'ddiefromtheecstasyhewasgivingyou.Hedidn'tspendall

nighttouchingandtastingandgivingandreceiving.Hehadnoreal

finesse,nowishtolearnwhatyouwanted,needed.Iknowthis.

Andnow,forthefirsttime,youaresensingwhatthingscanbelike

betweenamanandawomanandit'sbewitchingyou.'

Hesteppedbackapace,hisruggedfacebetrayingnothing.".And

that'sgood.'Hesmiledasmilewhichwasn'treallyasmileatall.

'It'sastart.ButIwantmorethanyourcuriosity,sexualor

otherwise.Sowegettoknoweachotherfirstaswe'veagreed.'

Shethoughtshehadbeentheonewhohaddecidedthat.Nowshe

wasn'tsosure.Shestaredathim,feelingasifthegroundhad

shiftedbeneathherfeetagainjustwhenshehadthoughtshe'd

reachedsolidland.Andthentheoldfeelingsofshameand

humiliationandrejectionthathadcomeintheaftermathofKeith's

betrayalwashedoverheragain.WhateverTraviswassaying,

howeverhewasdressingitup,hedidn'twanther,notenough,or

hewouldhavetakenherwhenheknewhecouldhave.

'Iwantyou,Beth.'Ashehaddoneseveraltimesbefore,he'dread

hermind.'I'llprovehowmuchoneday,Ipromiseyou.Butfor

nowyouhavetotrustme.'

Hereyesflickeredandshelookeddown,butnotbeforehehad

seenwhatwasinhergazeashisnextwordsconfirmed.'And

you'renotthereyet,areyou?So...wewait.Untilyouunderstand.'

'Understandwhat?'Thethicksmogwasbacktenfold.

'You'llknowoneday.'Hereachedoutandtookherhand,hisfirm

andwarm.'Let'sfinishthatwine.'

CHAPTERNINE

O'erthenextweeksBethbegantothinkthatthemoreshegrewto

knowTravisthelesssheunderstoodhim,herselftoo,forthat

matter.ShenowacceptedhehadluredheroutofherBateof

solitude,atleastattheweekends.Hehadintroducedhertohis

friendsinthedistrictandSandrahadmadeanappearanceafew

times,thetwowomenfindingtheygotonverywell.

AtthebeginningofAugust,whentheyhadknowneachotherfor

threemonths,Travisdecidedtothrowabigpartyforhisthirty-

fifthbirthday,invitinglotsoffriendsfromBristolandalloverthe

countryaswellastheShropshirecrowd.CatherineandMichael

cametoo,Beth'ssisterreaffirmingherapprovalofTravisseveral

timesthroughouttheweekend.

'He'sgorgeous,Neddy.Butthenyouknow that,don'tyou?'

CatherinesigheddreamilyontheSundayafternoonmieneveryone

washavingabarbecueunderabrilliantbluesky,thebuzzof

conversationandlaughterflowingaroundthemastheysattogether

onaswingseatundertheshadeofabeechtree.

Yes,Bethsaid.Sheknewthat.

'Imeanhe'severythingagirlcouldwant.'Catherinespeareda

juicyprawnwithherforkandchewedbeforesheaddedslyly,'And

IbetIwasrightaboutthebedthing,wasn'tI?He'sdynamite,

admitit.'

Bethsmiledweakly.'YouknowIdon'tkissandtell.'

'Makeanexception.Justthisonce?'

'Sorry.'Bethfilledhermouthwithfilletsteak.

'IknowIwasright,anyway.'Catherinegrinnedatherhappily.'I've

seenthewayyoulookathimandhelooksatyou.Youtwoare

hot.'

Bethdughersisterintheribsandtheybothlaughed,butoncethe

weekendwasoverandshewasaloneagainBethbroodedontheir

conversation.Catherinewouldn'thavebelievedherifshe'dtoldher

sistershehadn'tbeeninTravis'sbedyet.Noonewouldbelieve

her.Everyonethoughttheywereacoupleineverysenseofthe

word,thatmuchhadbeenobviousfromthesurprisewhichshehad

sensedwhenshehadgonehometothecottageontheSaturday

nightafterthemainparty.

Notthatanyonehadactuallysaidanything,ofcourse.Theywere

fartoopoliteandtactfulforthat,butshehadseentheirfacesand

hadknownexactlywhattheywerethinking.Ithadembarrassed

her,madeherfeelgaucheandawkward.NotsoTravis.

Bethfrownedtoherself.Infact,hehadseemedtotallyun-bothered

bywhatanyonethought.Typicalman.Orshouldshesaytypical

Travis?BecauseTraviswasdefinitely,mostdefinitely,nota

typicalman.Uniquedidn'tevenbegintodohim justice.She

couldn'tthinkofawordthatdid.

Hewasaverytactileindividualandpowerfullyexperiencedinthe

artofmakinglove,thatwasforsure,buthealwaysstoppedbefore

thingsprogressedtoofar.Toherdismay,severaltimesshehad

beenonthevergeofbegginghimtofinishwhathe'dbegun,his

kissesandcaressescreatinginchadesirethatpridehadflownout

ofthewindow.Butsomethinghadstoppedher.Onelittleword.

Trust.Becauseifheaskedher—assheknewhewould—she

couldn'tgivehimtheanswerhewanted.Shedidn'ttrusthim—she

didn'tmistanyman.Sheneverwouldagain.Emotionalsuicide

wasn'tanoption.

ShesighedsoheavilythatHarveycameandputhisImormous

headonherknee,hisbrowneyesenquiring.Theyhadjustfinished

breakfastandnormallyshewasupandoutinthegardenortaking

himforawalkimmediatelyshe'dfinishedeating.Buttheweekend

had been particularly unsettling,probably because ithad

emphasisedsomethingshehadbeentryingtoignoreforafew

weeksnow.Theycouldn'tgoonthewaytheywere.Itwas

ridiculous—thewholethinghadgrownmoreridiculousweekby

week.Buttheyhadreachedstalemate.

'Walk?'shesuggestedtoHarvey.

Themagicwordsenthimracingtothefrontdooranddespiteher

thoughtsBethhadtosmileathisexuberance.HowHarveywould

settlebackintothenormalroutineofactivitywhentheyhadto

leavethisplaceshedidn'tknow.Adrillsettledonherfora

momentandthensheshrugged.She'ddealwithleavingherewhen

shehadto.She'ddealwithleavingTraviswhenshehadto.Dayat

atimeandallthat.

Stoppingjustlongenoughtofillhersmallbackpackwithacouple

ofbottlesofwaterandasnackforlunch,Bethsetcff,determined

towalkthebluesaway.Ithadalwaysworkedbeforeanditwould

worktoday.She'dmakeit.

Onlyitdidn't.Thebracken-coveredhillsides,theoddcottage

tuckedbetweenorchardsandhedgerows,theshiningrivers

snakingamongthetreesandhillsofeveryshapeandwerejustthe

sameasusual.Steeplanes,stonebridges,summits,darkwith

heather,andquietfields,theypassedthemall.Butthepeacethey

normallygaveherwasabsent.

Thescentedwarmair,Harvey'senjoymentofhissurroundings,

eventhebrightlycolouredkingfisherBethspottedontheway

homemuchlaterfailedtothrill.

Whatwasthematterwithher?Twilightwasfallingandshestill

hadacoupleofmilestogobeforethecottagewouldbeinsights

butshesatdownontheriverbank,Harveyimmediatelyseizing

theopportunitytohaveadrinkfromthecrystalclearwater.Tits

werechirpinginthetreetopsandwiththegurgleandsplashingof

theriveritshouldhavebeenaperfectsummerevening.Itwas

perfectexcept...Shewasalone.No,notalone.Lonely.Thatwas

different.Andshewaslonelyforjustoneperson.

'No.'Shesaidthewordoutloudasthoughitwouldhelptodeny

whatshewasfeeling.ShemissedTravis.Shehadonlywavedhim

goodbyethenightbeforebutalreadyshemissedhim.Andrecently

thefivedaysbetweenSundayeveningandFriday,whenshewould

seehimagain,hadseemedtogetlongerandlonger.Anditwasn't

justthethrillofbeinginhisarmsshemissed.Shemissedhim.His

humour,theirconversations,theirtimetogether,everything.The

wholepackage.

'Idon'twantthis.'Againshespokeoutloudbutnowshecouldhear

thepanicinhervoice.Shedidn'twanttoneedhiminherlife.She

hadbeenthereonceandshecouldn'tgothereagain.Thiswas

supposedtohavebeenacasualromanticinterlude,thatwasall.

Shewasn'tsupposedtohavefalleninlove.FalleninLove?Where

hadthatcomefrom?

Thewordsreverberatedinherhead,hersurroundingsmovingto

theperimeterofherconsciousness.Love.Sheputherhandtoher

heart,whichwasthumpingsoharditwasmakingherfeelill.She

lovedhim.Theknowledgehadbeenstaringherinthefacefora

whilebutshejusthadn'thadthecouragetoacknowledgeit.But

shedid—shelovedTravisBlack...

Shejumpedtoherfeet,callingtoHarvey,whocameatonce,

clearlymorethanreadyforhomeandhisdinner.Shedidn'twantto

loveTravis,shecouldn'tlovehim.Withlovecameallsortsof

complicationsshecoulddowithout.

Shewalkedtherestofthewayhomeslowly,hermindso

preoccupieditcameassomethingofasurprisewhenthecottage

cameintoview,bathedinaserenetwilight.

Travisdidn'twantherto.fallinlovewithhimanymorethanshe

wantedit,shetoldherselffeverishlyalittlewhilelaterasshefixed

Harvey'sdinner.Oh,hewantedherfriendshipandtrust,andnot

leastherbody,hehadmadethatclear.Hewantedthemtobeonan

equalfootingemotionallyandphysicallysoanaffairbetweenthem

wouldn'tleaveabadtasteinthemouthwhenitfinallyended.But

thatwasvastlydifferentfromlove.Amillionlightyearsaway,in

fact.

ShesetHarvey'sbowlonthefloorandthebigdogimmediately

didagoodimitationofavacuumcleanerasthefooddisappeared

atanamazingrate.

Travishadtoldherearlyonintheirrelationshipthathehadloved

andlosttheloveofhislife,hadspeltitoutinnouncertainterms,

infact.Atthetimeshehadn'tfelthewaswarningherthathis

commitmenttoanotherwomancouldonlybealimitedone—she

hadbeenfeelingsomuddledandconfusedherself—butmaybeit

hadbeenasubtlehinttothateffect?Yes,thinkingaboutitnow,

shewassureithadbeen.

AfterputtingHarvey'sbowlinthedeepstonesink,Bethmade

herselfacupofcoffeeandcarrieditoutintothetinybackgarden,

whichwasnowdarkandstill.Thescentofrosesandwhitelilies

fromseveralofthetubswasheavyinthewarmair,themoonlight

givingalittlelightbutobscuringanyimperfectionssothatallthat

remainedwasperfumeandperfectquiet.Shecouldhavebeenthe

onlypersoninthewholeworld.

AsHarveydroppedhimselfatherfeet,Bethsatonthebench,the

woodstillretainingtheday'sheat,andsippedatthefragrant

coffee.Howhadthislovecreptuponher?sheaskedherself

weakly.Whenhadsexualattractionandfascinationchangedinto

somethingdeeper?Shecouldn'tputherfingeronaspecificpoint,

butchangedithad.Perhapsithadbeenasteadydripdripoverthe

lastweeksashehadworkedhimselfintoherlife,talkingtoher,

revealingsomuchofhimself,makingherlaugh,makinghermad,

justbeingTravis?

Gouldyoulovesomeonewithouttrustingthem?Shefrownedin

theshadows.Surelyloveandtrustwereinseparablecompanions?

Whyquestiontheobvious?hermindretorted.Shewaslivingproof

ofit.Shelovedhim—shelovedhimsomuchitfrightenedherto

deathandthefeelingshe'dhadforKeithwasapalereflectionin

comparison,butshedidn'ttrusthim.Hewasaman—afiercely

attractive,powerful,successfulmantoboot—amanwhowould

onlyhavetosnaphisfingerstohavewomenliningup.Perhapsif

hehadbeenMrAverage,aninetofive,potentialfamilymanwith

nobaggageandnothingtosethimapartfromthecrowd,there

mighthavebeenachanceshecouldlowerherdefencesenoughto

risklettinghimin.

ButTraviswaslightyearsawayfrombeingMrAverage.The

partythisweekendhadbeenindicativeofhowthingswere.Allthe

menwantedtobelikehimandallthewomen,eventhehappily

marriedoneslikeCatherine,thoughthewasdropdeadgorgeous

andmadenobonesaboutiteither.Whenthethoughtofhowmany

femaleshadbeenflutteringtheirlashesathim...

Whatwasthiswomanlikewhohadspurnedhislove?Shefound

herselfclutchingthecoffeecupsotightlyshewasinAngerof

snappingthechinahandleandforcedherselftorelaxhergrip.

Howcouldanywomanwalkawayfrom amanlikeTravis?

Especiallyifhelovedher?Shebitdownhardonherlipbefore

drinkingtherestofthecoffeeandthencontinuingtositin

darkness.Thenormalpeaceitgaveherwasabsent,however.

Itwastheringingofhermobilephoneinherbagwhichdiehad

leftinthekitchenwhichbroughthertoherfeetafewminutes

later.Asshewalkedintothehousesheglancedatherwatch.

Eleveno'clock.BitlateforCatherine.Herheartbeganothud.

Travishadbegunthehabitofringingherlastthinglately,onceor

twiceaweek.Upuntilnowshehadrefusedtoacknowledgeshe'd

beguntobedisappointedonthenightshedidn'tcall.

'Hello,Beth.'Hisvoicewasdeepandwarm.'Ihaven'twokenyou,

haveI?Iknowit'salittlelatetocall.'

'No,Iwassittinginthegardenhavingacoffee.'Consideringthe

wayherheartwascareeringaroundherbreastcavityBeththought

she'ddonequitewelltoanswersonormally.'Anythingwrong?'

sheaddedcarefully.

Plenty.'Itwaswry.'ThemainthingbeingI'minBristolandyou're

inShropshire.'TherewasapausewhichBethfoundherselfutterly

unabletobreak.Thenhesaid,verysoftly,'Missingme?WishingI

waswithyou?'

Somuch.Forcinglightnessintohervoice,Bethsaid,'Youonlyleft

latelastnight.'

'Thatwasn'twhatIasked.'

Sheshuthereyestightly.Theyindulgedinsuchbanteroftenthese

daysbutnow,withhernewknowledgeofherloveforhim,she

couldn'tplaythegame.Sheknewshehadbeenplayingwithfire

formonthsnow.Sheshouldhaverealiseditwasn'tamatterofif

shewouldgetburnt,onlywhen.Shehadthoughtshe'dexperienced

thelowestpointofherlifewhenKeithhadbetrayedhersobadly.

Shehadbeenwrong.SendingTravisoutofherlifewasgoingto

bemuchworse.Butithadtobedone.Forboththeirsakes.

Shetookadeepsilentbreathandprayedfortherightwords.He

mustneverknowthepowerhehadoverher.Keithhadn'tbeenable

tobreakherbutTraviswould.Notthathewouldwantto—she

didn'tbelievehewasabadperson,farfromit—buteverythingthat

couldbewrongforthemasacouplewaswrong.Shewouldnever

knowamoment'speaceifshebecamehiswomanineverysenseof

theword.Rightfromthefirsttimetheyslepttogethershewouldbe

waitingforhimtotireofherandgoontothenextfemalewho

threwherselfathim.Andtheywould.Theydid.

'Beth?'Hisvoicewasstillwarmbutshedetectedashadowof

wariness.'What'sthematter?'

'Nothing'sthematter.'Shewishedshe'dhadsomethingstronger

thancoffeetogiveherDutchcourageforwhatshewasaboutto

do.'Iwasgoingtocallyoutomorrow,actually.Iwantedyoutobe

thefirsttohearwhatI'vedecidedtodo.I'mfeelingsomuchbetter

Ithinkit'stimetogetbacktowork,takeupallthestringsagain.'

Therewasabriefsilence.'Isee.'Itwassteadyandexpressionless.

'Ithoughtyouwantedtostayatthecottageforafullsixmonths.

Wasn'tthattheplan?'

'Ididatfirst.'Sheswallowed.'But,asIsaid,Ifeelfinenow

and...andit'sabitboringheresometimes.'Shetriedtoinjecta

noteoftruthintothelie.

Thesilencewasevenlonger.'We'lltalkaboutthisattheweekend,'

hesaidfinally.'OK?'

NotOK.Sheknewitwascowardlybutifshesawhimagainshe

wouldbeterrifiedofwhatshemightreveal.Thishadtobeaclean

swiftseveringofallcontact.Sheopenedhermouthtosayshe

wouldbegonebytheweekendbutthensomethingstoppedher.

Traviswasquitecapableofdrivingstraightuptoseeher.Infact

shewassurehewoulddothat.Theyhadbecomecloseinthelast

months,muchtooclose.Hewouldexpectmorethanalong

distancefinishtotheirrelationship—ashehadeveryrightto,she

admittedmiserably.Ifanyoneelsedidwhatshewasplanningto

do,she'dconsiderthemthelowestofthelow.Butshecouldn'tbear

seeinghimagain.

'Beth?'Againhepromptedher,hisvoicenowcarryingaconcern

whichmadeherfeelevenmoreofaworm.'Hassomething

happened?Areyouallright?'

No,shewasn'tallright.Shewouldneverbeallrightagainmthe

wholeofherlife.Whyhadhemadeherlovehim?Howcouldshe

havebeensofoolishastothinkshecouldhandlethisinthefirst

place?'I'mfine,'shesaidflatly.

'Youdon'tsoundfine.'Thetonewasgrim.

Shetookrefugeintheuniversalget-outclause.'I'vegota

headache,that'sall.It'sthehotweather.'

"Aheadache.'TravisbeingTravis,hedidn'teventrytopretendhe

believedher.

'Taken anything for it?'he asked sceptically.'Aspirin,

paracetamol?'

"Ofcourse.'Shegrimacedatthephone.Howdidhealwaysknow

whenshewaslying?Hewasahumanliedetector.

'I'llgetoffthephoneandleaveyoutogettobed,then.Goodnight,

Beth.'Itwasabrupt,cold.'Sleeptight.'

Hedidn'tevenwaitforhertoreplybeforehefinishedthecall.

Bethblinked.Nosweetnothings.Notryingtopersuadeherto

openup.Notthatshewouldhave,ofcourse,buthemightatleast

havetried.

Shestoodinthekitchen,herstomachchurning.Shewasa

headcase.Hehadturnedherintoaheadcase.Andthenherinnate

honestymadeheradd,no,thatwasn'tfair.Theblameforthis

couldn'tbelaidatTravis'sfeet.

Onegoodcrylaterandtenminutesofpacingthecottagebrought

hertothepointofcallingTravisbackbeforeshestoppedhalfway

intothenumber.Shedidn'tevengetasfarashalfwaythesecond

andthirdtimes.

Itwasgonetwobeforeshefinallycrawledintobedandthedratted

owlhootedherintofouro'clockstillwideawake.Shemusthave

fallenasleepsometimeafterthatbecausewhentheknockingatthe

frontdoorwokeherbrightsunlightwasspillingintotheroom.

'Goodmorning.'Travislookedlikeanadvertisementforsome

designerorother,hispalesuitandmidnight-blueshirtimpeccable

andhisblackhairglintinginthesunshine.

Bethstaredathimstupidly,tryingtoformcoherentspeechoutof

thecottonwoolmuddleofhermind.

'CanIcomein?'heaskedwithsomecoolness.

'Oh,yes,yes,comein.'Shestoodasideandlethimpassher,doing

herbesttoignorewhatthesmellofdeliciouslimeyaftershaveon

cleanmaleskinwasdoingtoherhormones.Assheshutthefront

doorshemanagedtosay,'Whatareyoudoinghere?'realisingthat

shouldhavebeenheropeningline.

'Seeingyou.'Hedidn'tsmile.Neitherhadhebroughtany

croissantsorgoodiestoday,shenoticed,herheartbeginningto

thump.'Igettheimpressionweneedtotalk.'

"Whattimeisit?'Sheglancedhelplesslyattheclockonthewall

abovethefireplace.Eighto'clock.Hemusthavebeenupatthe

crackofdawn.'Coffee?'sheofferedweakly,clickingherfingersat

Harvey,whoasalwayshadgivenTravisarapturouswelcome.

"Thanks.'Itwaspolitebutdisinterested.

'I'lljustletHarveyoutfirst.'Sheopenedthefrontdooragainand

letthebigdogoutforhisnormalnosearoundthefrontgarden,

beforewalkingthroughtothekitchenwhereshemadethembotha

quickmugofinstantcoffee.

Traviswasstandinginexactlythesameplacewhensheturned.He

stillwasn'tsmiling.

Hetookthecoffeewithanod,refusingherinvitationtobeseated.

Hewaiteduntilshehadsatdownonthesofabeforehespoke.'So?'

Thegreyeyeswerepiercing.'Whatisthisallabout,Beth?Let's

haveit.'

Noattempttokissorhugher.AlargefatbumblebeewhichSad

flowninwhenshehadopenedthedoorforHarveybuzzedangrily

againstthewindowbeforesettlingonapotplant.Thestillnesswas

profound.

"This?'sheprevaricated,hatingherselfforhercowardice.Butwith

Travisinfrontofherthecourageofthenightbeforewasonlya

memory.Sheshouldhavejustdisappearedthisweek.

"CorrectmeifI'mwrong,butwhenyouspokeofleavingitwasn't

onlyShropshireyouhadinmind.Right?'

"Ididn'tsaythat.'Shestaredathimhelplessly.

"Butit'swhatyoumeant,'hepersistedgrimly.

Shecouldfobhimoff.Makeupsomeexcuse.Deflectwhatwas

clearlygoingtobeoneawfulmessofagoodbye.

'Yes.'Sheraisedhereyesfromthecoffee.'Ididmeanthat.I...1

thinkit'sgoingtobesimplerifwecallitadaynow.'

'Simpler?'Thegreywasgranite-hard.'Forwhom?'

'Forbothofus,'shesaidalittledesperately.'We...we'vehadfun

andit'sbeengreat,butonceI'mbackinLondonitwouldbetoo

difficulttokeepseeingeachother.Thedistance—'

'Isnothing,'heinterruptedicily.'Andyouknowit.'

Hewaslookingstraightatherbutshecouldn'tdeterminewhathe

wasthinking.Hisexpressionwasclosed,devoidofemotion,likea

pokerplayerdeterminedtogivenothingaway.Shesuddenly

realisedwhathadmadehimsuchasuccessfulbusinessman.He

wouldbeaformidableopponent.

'Ofcourseitis,'shearguedmiserably.'Longdistancerelationships

alwaysgowrong.'

'We'renottalkingcontinents,Beth,merelyafewmilesbetween

onecityandanother.Solet'scuttheexcusesandgettothechase.I

thoughteverythingwasgoingwellbetweenus—great,infact.

Whatchangedovernight?Didanyoneupsetyouattheweekend?

Saysomething?What?'

Herthroatfeltdryandthecoffeedidn'teaseitwhenshetookafew

sips.Shepulledherrobetighterroundher.'Can'tyoujustaccept

it'sbetterifwecallitadaynow?'

'No,Beth,Ican't.'Hisbodywasverystill,verycontrolled.'You

aregoingtotalktomeforonce.Openupthatdamnclosedboxin

yourmind.WebothknowtherehavebeentimeswhenIcould

havetakenyouandyouwouldhavebeenwilling.You'renotthe

sortofwomantodothatlightly.Weweregettingsomewhere.It

wasgood.Ithought—'Hestoppedabruptly.

'What?'shesaidfaintly.

Hewavedanimpatienthand.'Nevermind.Thisisn'taboutme,it's

aboutyou.Sowhathasputusbacktosquareone?Whatwentso

wrongthatyouweregoingtocreepoffwithoutevengivingmethe

courtesyofanexplanation?'

Hehadknown.Shedidn'tbothertodenyit,herbeetroot-redface

wasconfirmationenoughifhehadneededit.Whichheobviously

didn't.Shewantedtobreaktheholdhiseyeshadonhersbutshe

couldn't.'I...1toldyouatthebeginninghowthingsstoodwithme.

Ididn'tcomeherelookingforarelationship—'

'Butthenyoumetme,'heinterruptedwithmagnificentarrogance.

'Andeverythingchanged.'

Sheavertedherfaceatlast,dragginghergazefromhisasshe

finishedthecoffee.Herthroatachedassheswallowed.Shedidn't

wanttohurthim,shetoldherselffrantically,butatleastitwas

onlyhispridethatwouldtakeafall.Thismightdenthisegobutit

wasn'tasifhelovedheroranythinglikethat.Inafewweeks,a

fewdayseven,shewouldbereplaced.Hemightevenmeet

someonewhocouldsupplanthislostlove.

Sheignoredtheblindingpainthatthoughtbroughtinitstake,her

voicehollowasshesaid,'Ican'tbewhatyouwantmetobe,

Travis.Youmustknowthatbynow.Deepinside.'

Heswore,softlybutsavagely,andforamomentthemaskdipped.

'Idon'twantyoutobeanythingotherthanyourself.Ineverhave.I

thoughtIhadmadethatperfectlyclear.'

'Youwantmetotrustyou,'shestatedflatly.Isthatsobigadeal?'

'Yes,forme.'Shewasshoutingnowbutshedidn'tcare.It'sthe

biggestthingintheworld,ifyouwanttoknow.AndIcan'tdoit.

It'sassimpleasthat.Ican'ttrustyou.'

'Wrong.'Incomparisonhewasdeadlycalm.'Youwon'tdoit.

There'sadifference.'

'Can't,won't,whatever.'Herwholebodywastrembling.

Againhesworebutthistimeitwasexasperationratherthanfury.

Whenhewalkedovertothesofaandraisedherupintohisarms

Bethdidn'thavethewilltoresist.Buthedidn'ttrytomakeloveto

herasshehad-expected.Insteadhemerelyheldhercloseagainst

thestrongshieldofhisbody,hisvoicesoftaboveherheadashe

said,'Whyareyoudoingthistoyourselfrightnow,sweetheart?

Therearenotimelimitsexceptinyourmind;surelyyouknow

that.'

Itwasthe'sweetheart'thatdidit.Shecouldhavewithstoodhis

contemptorangerbutnotthetenderqualitytotheendearment.It

piercedthelastofhercontrol.Tearsspilledoverontohercheeks

andshewrenchedherselfaway,coveringherfacewithherhands

asshesobbed.'Go,pleasego.Idon'twantyouhere.Thishasto

endnow.Please,Travis.'

Hemadenoattempttoholdheragainbuthisvoicewasinflexible

whenhestated,'Iamnotleaving,Beth.'

'Please.'Shehadneverfeltsuchpain,suchhopelessness.

'No.'Andthenshewasinhisarmsagain.'NotuntilI'vetalked

senseintothatcrazyheadofyours.I'mnotgoingtoletwhatthat

foolofanex-husbandofyoursdidruinbothourlives.Theselast

weeksyou'vebeenhappy,Iknowyouhave.OK,Imightnotbe

perfectbutIknowwhensomethingisrightorwrong,andweare

righttogether.PerhapsIshouldn'thavewaited,perhapsIshould

havetakenyoutobedweeksago,butthatcanberemediedright

now.ButfirstIwanttotellyousomething.Iwantedtowait,give

youmoretimetogetusedtohavingsomeoneinyourlifeagain,

butyou'veforcedtheissue.Idon'twantanaffairwithyou,Beth.I

neverhave.I'vehadenoughopen-endedrelationshipstoknow

whentherealthinghits.'

'What?'Shecouldn'ttakeitin.Sheheardwhathewassayingbut

thewordswerealljumbledinhermindandshecouldn'tmake

senseofthem.

Heheldherawayfromhimslightly,thegreyeyesnarrowingas

theyfastenedonherface,whichwasnowchalk-white."Ilove

you,'hesaidsimply.'IfellinlovewithyouthefirstmomentIsaw

youwhenyouwerestandinginthedarkinthoseridiculouspink

pyjamascoveredindirtandgoodnessknowswhat.Iwanttomarry

you,Beth.Iwanttowakeupbesideyouinbedeverymorningfor

therestofmylife.'

'No.'Shefeltnumb.'No,youcan'tloveme.Yousaidyouhadlost

thewomanyouloved.Yousaidthat.'

Hisgazehadsharpenedandsheknew herreactiontohis

declarationwasnotwhathe'dhopedfor.'IthinkIsaidthewomanI

loveddidn'tfeelthesameasIdid,'hesaidslowly."That'snotthe

same.'

'But...butyouletmebelieve...'

Shecouldn'tgoonbutheknewwhatshewastryingtosayByway.

'ItwouldhavescaredyoutodeathandcertainlybacktoLondonif

IhadtoldyouhowIfeltatthatpoint.Hell,itscaredme,ifyou

wanttoknow.Itstilldoes.'

'Butyoudidn'tknowme,notreally,notthen.'Thiscouldn'tbe

true.'Loveatfirstsightisjustafantasy,everyoneknowsthat.It

can'thappeninreallife.'

"Iknewyouinmysoulbeforetime,that'stheonlywayIcm

explainit.And,beforeyouprotest,ifanyoneelsehadtoldBeI'd

besayingthisjustmonthsagoI'dhavelaughedintheirface.Iwas

enjoyingmylife,Ididn'twanttofallinlove,didn'twanttohaveto

consideranyoneelse.IlikedalifestylewhereIwasanswerableto

nooneandasfreeasabird.Butallthatchangedinonemoment.'

'Travis.'Itwasastrangledsound."'Please,don'tsayanymore...'

'I'vewalkedoneggshellsforthelastthreemonths,Beth.I'mdone

withit.Youtellmeyou'repreparedtowalkawayfromwhatwe

havesoI'venothingtoloseincallingaspadeaspadenow,haveI?

Iloveyou,dammit!'

Hisvoicehadrisenbutalmostimmediatelyhegainedcontrol.'I

loveyou,'herepeatedsoftly.'And,whateveryousay,Idon't

believeyou'recompletelyindifferenttome.Youhavechangedin

thelastfewweeks,letyourguarddown.I'vebeenawareofiteven

ifyouhaven't.Iwon'tletyoufinishthisbecauseyouhavetarred

allmenwiththesamebrush.Howeverbaditwasattheendwith

Keith,youhavetofaceuptothefactthatyoucan'texistina

bubble.'

'Youdon'tunderstand.'Bethliftedherfacebutshecouldhardly

seehimthroughahazeoftears.

'No,Idon't.Iwon'tpretendIdo.Ihaven'tbeenmarriedbefore,

committedmylifetosomeoneonlytobeletdownintheworst

possibleway.ButIhavelovedsomeoneandlostthem.Idoknow

whatgriefis.Kirktaughtmeaboutthat.'

'I...1lostmyparentssoIknowwhatyoumean,butthisis

somethingcompletelydifferent.'

Hestaredatherandnowshesawangercolouringthecleargrey.It

wasinhisvoicewhenhespoke,thetonegrim.'Yes.it'sdifferent

butit'sabouttimeyoufinishedwiththeself-pit)andthinkingthe

worldonlyrevolvesaroundyou.'

Bethwasshockedtothecore.Never,inallthetimetheyhadbeen

together,hadhespokenorlookedlikethis.

'Peoplegothroughworsethanyouhave,'hecontinuedwhenshe

didn'tanswerhim.'AndI'mnotdemeaningwhatyousuffered

either.Butyoucameouttheotherside,yousurvived.Maybe

hangingonbyyourfingertips,butyousurvived.Doyoumeanto

tellmethatwasallfornothing?Thatyouaregoingtoletthis

cretinhavethelastlaugh?Where'sthebackbonethatgotyou

throughthedivorce?'

'How dareyouspeaktomelikethis?'Angerdispelledthe

numbnessofshock,hereyesblazing.'Howdareyou?'

'BecauseIloveyou,that'swhy.Maybeitwouldhavebeenbetterif

we'dmetafewyearslater.Eighteenmonthsisn'tlongtocometo

termswithitall,Iknowthat,butwedidn't.That'slife.Neat

packagesareanillusion.'

'Iwantyoutoleave.'

'Tough.Iwantalotofthingsbutitdoesn'tlookasifI'mgetting

themeither,'Travisrespondedgrimly.

Bethfoughtforcomposureasshestoodupandfacedhim.'Thisis

myhome,albeittemporarily,andyou'renotwelcomeanymore,'

shesaid,thebriefsupportofangerdyingandleavingherterrified.

Shecouldn'tweaken—shemustn't.Hesaidhelovedher,and

perhapshedid,butitdidn'talterthefactthatTraviswastheman

withitall.Howcouldshe,BethMarton,everhopetohangontoa

manlikehim?Shedidn'thavewhatittook,sheknewthat.Shewas

ordinary,nothingspecial.Alloverthecountryotherwomen,plain

orpretty,fatorthin,managedtomaketheirmarriagesworkbut

hershadfailedamiddevastation.Ifshehadn'tbeenenoughfor

Keith,howcouldsheeverhopetobeenoughforTravis?

'Youdon'tbelieveIloveyou?'Travis'sfacewasrigid,slashesof

colouracrossthehardcheekbones.

'Youperhapsthinkyoudo.'Hervoicewasunsteady,anguished.'In

factI'msureyoubelieveyoudo.'

'Butyou'renotsure.'Hisfeatureshadsoftened.'Sowegoonas

beforeuntilyouaresure.Doyouthinkyoucouldeverloveme?'

headdedquietly.'Ishouldn'task,but...'

Bethavertedherface.ThenightshehadwalkedoutonKeithwas

somethingofablurinhermind,somuchhadbeensaid—

screamedeven—andshehadbeensodistraught.Butonethingwas

crystalclear.Amidalltheaccusationsandcounter-accusations,the

lyingbyKeithandthepainandbewildermentshehadbeen

feeling,shehadaskedhimwhyhehaddonethisthingtoher.Why,

whenhehadsaidhelovedher,marriedher,hadhecontinuedto

seeAnnaandtheotherwomen?

Hehadlookedatherandsaidwhatwaspossiblytheonlyhonest

statementhe'dvoicedthatnight.'BecauseIcould.Becauseyoulet

me.YouneverqueriedanythingIsaid.Neverchallengedmewhen

Iwaslateorwentawayonbusinesstrips.Youtookeverythingat

facevaluefromwhenwemet.'

Andwhenshehadcriedthatwasbecauseshehadlovedhim,

trustedhimwitheveryfibreofherbeing,hehadstaredatherfora

momentbeforeshrugging.Eventhen,sheknew,hehadbeen

confidentofhispoweroverher,hadbeenconvincedhewouldbe

abletotalkherround.Andshehadgivenhimthatpowerinthe

beginningbylovinghim,bytellinghimeverydayhowmuchshe

adoredhim,bybelievinginhimandclosinghereyesandher

reasontoanyquestionmarkswhichhadcroppedupduringtheir

twelvemonthsofmarriage.Ithadalmostdestroyedher.Sheraised

herface,herhearthammeringinfrightened,panickedbeats.This

timewhensheliedhehadtobelieveher.

'No,'shesaidverysteadily.'Icouldn'tloveyou.'

Shesawtheblooddrainfromhisfaceandforoneawfulmoment

wasclosetoflingingherselfonhimandbegginghimtoforgive

her,toadmittingshelovedhimmorethanshehadfoughtpossible,

thathewaseverythingshe'deverwantedinaman.Aparalysing

fearstoppedher.Thesameemotionenabledhertostandasstillas

stonewhenhenoddedslowly.Therewasanunnervingsilence,

vibratingwithterrifyingintensity,beforehesaidtonelessly,'Then

therereallyisnothingmoretobesaid,afterall.Goodbye,Beth.'

Shewatchedinnumbdisbeliefasheturnedonhisheelandgo

acrosstothefrontdoor,openingitwithoutlookingck.Harveyhad

boundedinandthen,asTravisclosedthebehindhim,whinedand

pawedatitasthoughtoaskatwashappening.

Itwasn'tuntilsheheardthecarstartthatBethcametolife,without

thinking,sheranacrosstheroomandflungopenthedoor,calling

hisname.Thecarwasalreadyoutofsight,shestumbledacross

thegardentothegate,Harveyhunganxiouslyatthesideofher,

butitwastoolate.Hehads.Andsheknewthistimehewouldn't

becomingback.

CHAPTERTEN

'Youdidwhat?'Catherinestaredather,utterlyaghast.

'IfinishedwithTravis,'Bethrepeatedflatly.'Yesterdaymorning.

It'sover,reallyover.'

'Butwhy?Ithoughteverythingwasgoingsowell.Imean...'

Catherineranoutofwordstoexpresswhatshemeantandinstead

collapsedonakitchenstool.

Bethhadknockedathersister'sdoorfiveminutesbeforeand,

Jamesbeingupstairsinhiscotforhismorningnap,haddecidedto

gettheconfessionoveranddonewith.ShehadletCatherine

assumeshehadtravelleddowntoLondonforaquickvisituntil

hersisterhadmadethecoffeeandtheyhadaplateofchocolate

biscuitsinfrontofthem.Thenshehadbrokenthenews.Ithad

gonedownlikealeadballoon.

'And,'shesaidnow,'I'vemovedbackintomyflat.Lastnight.So,

lifeasnormal.'

CatherinewaslookingatherasthoughshewasmadandBeth

couldn'treallyblameher.Shefeltshewasgoingmad.

'Lifeasnormal?'Catherineshookherhead,herfairhairswinging

disapprovingly.'LifewithoutTravis,youmean?'

Hearingitputlikethatwaslikeapunchinthestomach.Butshe

deservedit.Shedeservedmuchworse,Beththoughtmiserably.

Shewasthebiggestcowardoutandsheknewit.Travishadsaidas

muchandsheagreedwithhim.Travis.Oh,Travis.Shecould

hardlybelieveshewouldn'tseehimagain.

'Whatdidhedowrong?'Catherinetookasipofhercoffee,her

eyesnarrowingonBeth'spalefaceandpink-rimmedeyes.

'Heaskedmetomarryhim,'Bethsaidwoodenly.

Catherinegaveasqueakandsatboltupright.'Andthat'sit?Not

evenyouwouldbesostupid.Whatelsehappened?'

'It'scomplicated.'Orterriblysimple.Shewasn'tsure.

'Knowingyou,itwouldbe,'Catherinesaidwithsisterlyfrankness.

'ButdoItakeithedidn'tcheatorturnviolentorconfesstobeing

anaxe-murderer?'

'Ofcoursehedidn't.'Bethrearedupatthepossibility.

'Sobasicallytheguytellsyouhelovesyouandyoudumphim.

Yes?Hebareshisheartandyoushowhimthedoor?'

'ItoldhimIwantedtoenditbeforehetoldmehelovedme,'Beth

saidflatly,knowingitwasnodefence.

'Oh,that'sallright,then.'Catherineglaredather.'You'vejust

dumpedaguyinamillionforwhatreason,Beth?Imean,tellme,

becauseI'dreallyliketoknow.'

'You'renotmakingthiseasy.'ActuallyCatherine'santagonismwas

easiertodealwiththansympathy.Sympathywouldhavehadher

howlinglikeJamesinoneofhistantrums,especiallyassheknew

shedidn'tmeritany.

'Goodreasonforthat.'Catherinebitintoachocolatebiscuitwith

enoughforcetoreduceittosprayingfragments.'Ithinkyou're

starkstaringmad.Especiallybecauseyoulikehim,don'tyou?And

don'tdenyit,Iknowyoudo.'

'Iwasn'tgoingtodenyit.'Sheneededsomeonetotalktoand

familyfittedthebill.Perhaps.

'Hmm.'Catherinefixedherwithabigsisterfrown.'Isthatlikehim

orreallylikehim?'shepressed.

Bethjustlookedather,herexpressionanswerenough.

'Sowhydidyoufinishwithhim,then?'Catherineasked

vehemently.'Beth,thisismadness.'

'Becauseitwouldn'twork,'Bethsaidmiserably.

'Sayswho?ItwasworkingprettywellfromwhereIwasstanding.

'Helovesyou,youlovehim.He'stalkingmarriage,forgoodness'

sake.What'snottowork?'

'Catherine,it'snotlikeyouthink.'Bethrubbedathereyes,which

hadn'trecoveredfromthemarathonofweepingandweresoreand

smarting.'We...wehadn'tactuallyslepttogether,forastart.Not

thatTravisdidn'twantto,'sheaddedquicklyincaseCatherinegot

thewrongidea,'butIsaidatthebeginningIneededmoretime

beforeanythinglikethatandhepromisedtotakeitatmypace.I...'

Shedidn'tknowhowtoputthis.Sherubbedathereyesagainand

thendecidedtojustsayit.'IlovehimbutIcan'ttaketheriskofit

allfallingapartagain.I'mnotreadyforarelationship,letalone

marriage.Idon'tthinkIeverwillbe.It'snothowIseethefuture.'

Catherinesaidanextremelyrudeword.'It'shim,Keith,isn'tit?'

shegrowled.'You'relettinghiminfluencehowyouthinkabout

things.Forcryingoutloud,Beth.Travisisn'tKeith.Surelyyoucan

seethat?HowcanyouletKeithruinanychanceofhappinessin

thefuture?'

'That'swhatTravissaid.'Bethstaredathersister.

'He'sright.'Catherinejerkedherheadinagreement.

'TravisalsosaiditwasabouttimeIfinishedwithself-pityandthat

peoplehavegonethroughworsethanIdid.'

'Didhe?'Catherinelookedimpressed.'Ithinkhe'srightagainbutI

wouldn'thavedaredsayit.'

Somuchforbloodties.Andthiswastakingthenosympathy

attitudetoofar.Feelingextremelyharddoneby,Bethstoodup.'So

basicallyhe'srightandI'mwrongandI'veruineditall?'shesaid,

hervoicewobbly.

Catherinegaveaschool-marmnod.'ButI'mamazed,knowing

Travis,thatheaccepteditwasover.Ifhelovesyouandyoulove

him,Iwouldhavethoughthe'sthesortofmantofighttoothand

nail.I'dhavebetmylifehe'snoquitter.'

'He...hedoesn'tknowIlovehim,'Bethadmittedflatly.

'Hedoesn't?'Catherineraisedhereyebrows.'Youhaven'ttoldhim?

Notevenwhenhesaidhowhefelt?'

Worsethanthat.'IsaidIdidn'tlovehim,actually.Whenbeasked.'

Bethwaitedfortheexplosion.Itdidn'thappen.

ForonceBethhadthesatisfactionofseeinghersisterspeechless

butinthecircumstancesitwasn'tenjoyable.Afteramomentor

twoCatherinesaid,'Ringhim.Ringhimandtellhimhowyoufeel.

Goforit,girl.'

Itwasthesamethoughtwhichhadoccurredatfairlyregular

intervals—everythirtyseconds,infact—sinceTuesdaymorning.

Butalwaysharshrealityfollowed.'Ican't.'Bethreachedforher

bag.'BecausethesamereasonsIfinisheditstillapply.Ilovehim

butIdon'ttrusthim,Catherine,andIcan'thelpit.Iwanttotrust

himbuteverytimeIthinkofthefuturedoubtspourin.Andthat

isn'tfaironhim.Itwouldn'tbefaironanyone.Youremember

whatthatgirlwaslikeweusedtoknow—ChristineBrown?After

herfiancejiltedhersheruinedeveryrelationshipthatfollowed

withherjealousy.'

'ChristineBrownwasaheadache.'

'No,shewasjustmassivelyinsecurebecauseofwhathadoccurred.

Itcolouredherrelationships.Ithappens.'

'Shewasmassivelyinsecureandaheadcase,'Catherinesaiddrily.

'You'renotlikeher.Notremotely.'

'ButImightbe,withTravis.IlovehimsomuchIcouldn'tbearitif

itwentbad.Atleastthiswaythememoriesaregood,apartfrom

thelastmeeting,obviously.'Thathadbeenasbadasitgot.

'Memoriesdon'tkeepyouwarm atnight,'Catherinesaid

practically.'Beth,youcan'ttellmeyoudon'twanttosettledownat

somepointinthefuture.Havechildren.Canyouimaginedoing

thatwithanyoneotherthanTravisifyoulovehimlikeyousayyou

do?You'vealwayswantedbabies.'

Thisbaringthesoulwasn'tallitwascutouttobe.Asthepain

slicedthroughher,Bethturnedonherheel.'Ihavetogo,'shesaid

unsteadily.'Harvey'sbeenonhisownattheflatforanhourorso

andIneedtotakehimforawalk.'

'Howishe?'Catherinefollowedhertothefrontdoor,herpretty

facecreasedwithworry.

'Sulking,moreforTravisthanthecottage,Ithink.'Bethtriedto

smilebutitdidn'twork.Insteadherlipquivered.

Catherinegazedather.'IwishMumandDadwerehere,'shesaid

withabreakinhervoice.'Theywouldhaveknownwhattosay.

I'mgettingitallwrong.Makingitworse.'

'Oh,Cath,ofcourseyouaren't.'Nowshewasmakingeveryone

withinatwentymileradiusfeelasmiserableasher.Bethhugged

hersisterandtheyclungtogetherforsomemoments.Whenfinally

theypartedboththeirfaceswerewet

'Dosomethingforme.'Catherinestaredather,anFm-going-to-

say-this-even-though-I-know-you'you-hate-itlookonherface.

'What?'Bethsaidwarily,blowinghernose.

'GoandseeKeith,'Catherinesaidveryfirmly.

'What?'Itwasthelastthing—theverylastthing—shehad

expectedhersistertosay.'Areyoumad?WhyonearthwouldIgo

andseeKeith?Idon'tevenwanttobreathethesameair.'

'Tolayghoststhatwon'tgoawayanyotherway.Youhaven'tseen

himsincethatnightyouwalkedoutandIthinkthat'samistake.

Therewassomuchhappeningaroundthatlime,Neddy.Mumand

Dadgoingsosuddenly,thatawfulcourtcaseandthenAnna

turninguponyourdoorstep.Ifyouhadgoneforcounsellingafter

thedivorceinsteadofworkingnightanddayyoumighthavehad

yourheadsortedbynow.'

'Ididn'tneedcounselling,'Bethsaidvehemently.

'Yes,youdid.'Catherinewaggedherfingeratherinawaywhich

wasreminiscentoftheirchildhood.

Bethhadthesameimpulseshe'dhadthentostickouthertongue

andmakearudeface.Insteadshesaid,'Iknowyou'retryingtobe

helpful—'

'Solistentomeforonce,'Catherineinterrupted.'AndI'lltellyou

somethingnow—IneverdidlikeKeith.Hewastoosmarmy,too

nice,butteringupMumandDadandalwayseyingtherightthing.

Hewouldneverhavetoldyoupeoplehaditworsethanyouand

thatyouwereself-pitying.'

'Cath,Idon'twanttomakecontactwithKeith.Idon'tevenknow

whereheis.Idon'tcarewhereheis!'

'Tryhisworkfirst;he'sprobablystillinthesamejob.Ifnot,you

knowwhereAnnalives.Goandseeher.Orseeifhe'slivinginthe

sameplace.'

'You'renotlisteningtome,'Bethsaid,herfacetight.

'No,you'renotlisteningtome,'Catherinecounterattacked.'And,as

we'vebothagreedyou'reaheadcaseandI’mnot,Ithinkyou

should.ApartfromthefactI'myourbigsister,I'maverylogical

andsaneperson.Frankly,whathaveyougottolose,Neddy?At

leastpromisemeyou'llthinkaboutgoingtoseehim.Ifyouthink

aboutityou'llseeitmakessense.'

Bethopenedthefrontdoor.'OK,'shesaidflatly.'I'llthinkaboutit.

Butitdoesn'tmakesenseandIwon'tgo.'

Shethoughtaboutitallthewayhomethroughthenightmareof

Londontrafficand,onceshe'dcollectedHarvey,duringtheirwalk

inHydePark.Shethoughtaboutitalleveningattheflat,tryingto

ignorehowalientheplacefeltandhowrestlessHarveywas.She

wasstillthinkingaboutitthenextmorningafterasleeplessnight.

Shewasn'tconsciousthatshehadcometoadecisionuntilshe

foundherselfdiallingKeith'sworknumber.Itwasadirectlineand

heansweredalmostimmediately.'KeithWright.'

ForasecondBethalmostdroppedthephone.Ahugefloodof

feelingsweptthroughherbutshebreatheddeeply,hervoice

remarkablysteadyasshesaid,'Hello,Keith.It'sBeth.'

'Beth?'Theblankastonishmentinhisvoicewasclear.Andthen,

afterapause,hesaid,'Beth,howwonderfultohearfromyou,'and

nowhehadswitchedtothetonehe'dalwaysusedwithher—warm,

soft,charming.'Howareyou?'

'Fine.'Anotherdeepbreathandshewasabletosay,'Iwonderedif

youfanciedmeetingforacoffeeatlunchtime.'

'Absolutely.That'dbegreat.'

Therehadbeennohesitationbutthentherewouldn'tbe,would

there?Beththoughtcynically.Anex-wifeaddedtohisongoinglist

ofconquestswouldbeafeatherinhiscapasfarashewas

concerned.Shewonderedifhewouldaskwhyshewantedtosee

himafterallthistime.Hedidn't.

'HowaboutBailey's?'hesuggestedsmoothly.'Youusedtolove

theirchocolatecake,remember?Intheolddays?'

Itseemedalifetimeawaysinceshehadusedtomeethimintheir

lunchhoursatBailey's,asmartlittlecoffeebarthatserved

wonderfulsandwichesanddessertsaswellaseverycoffeeunder

thesun.'OK.'Sheglancedatherwatch.'Twelveo'clocksuityou?'

Ithadbeentheircustomtotakeanearlylunchtobesureofgetting

atable;Bailey'sfilledtooverflowingaroundoneo'clock.

'Twelvewouldbegreat,Beth.I'lllookforwardtoit.'

'Seeyouthen.'Bethputdownthephonebeforehecouldcontinue

theconversationandsatstaringintospaceforafewmoments.

Howdidshefeel?Afterthebriefshockofhearinghisvoice,

remarkablycomposed,butofcourseitwouldbedifferentfacing

herex-husbandintheflesh.

Shesatmusingforsometime,tryingtoworkoutexactlywhatshe

wantedfromtheirmeeting.Shewasn'tsure,Catherinehadtalked

aboutlayingghostsandmaybeshewasright,butwoulditbe

counter-productivetoseeKeithafterallthesemonths?Hehad

madeherfeellikethebiggestfoolintheworld,thehumiliation

andpaineasiertodealwiththanfeelingshewasacompletefailure

asawomanandawife.Shehadn'tbeenenoughforhimand,

despitethefactsheknewAnnaandalltheotherswereinthesame

boat,ithadn'thelped.Wasshesettingherselfupforagiganticfall

inmeetinghim?

Shewanderedintothebedroom,openingherwardrobeandstaring

atherclotheswithoutreallyseeingthem.Travishadtoldhertoget

somebackboneandcomeoutoftheprotectivebubbleshe'dbeen

existingin.ShewasseeingKeithtodaybecauseinherheartof

heartssheknewtheonlywaytogoforwardwastoputthepast

behindher,andshecouldn'tdothatwithoutthisonelastmeeting.

Shedidn'tknowwhatitwouldproduce,butithadtobedone.End

ofstory.

AftertakingHarveyforaquickwalktoasmallparknearby—for

whichheshowedhisdisgustbyrefusingtolookatheroncethey

werehome—shetriedtomakeupforthechangeinhis

surroundingsbygivinghimabigbowlfulofchickenmixedwith

hisdogmealforbreakfast.Heatethefoodbutcontinuedwiththe

sulkandBethlefthimtoit.Shehadmoreimportantthingsto

focuson.

Byeleveno'clock,whensheinspectedherselfinthemirror,she

wassatisfiedwithwhatshesaw.TheprettyEmpire-linedressina

vibrantboldprintbroughtoutthegoldenqualityofhertanand

madeherglowwithhealth.Shehadleftherhairloose,itsnatural

highlightsemphasisingthesilkyblondenessandmakingherblue

eyeslarger.She'dusedthebarestminimumofmake-up,partly

becauseshedidn'twantKeithtothinkshewastryingtoohardbut

alsobecausetheweeksoftrampingtheShropshirecountryside

underahotEnglishsunhadgivenherskinacolournoamountof

cosmeticscouldimprove.Tohergreatsurprise,especially

consideringhowshefeltinside,shelookedlikeaconfident,proud

andbeautifulyoungwomanwiththeworldatherfeet.

'Howthemirrorcanlie.'Shepulledafaceatherselfandthen

turnedaway.But,aslongasshegaveKeiththeimpressionallwas

well,nothingelsemattered.Shewasgoingtofinishthisonher

terms,exithislifewithabangandnotawhimper.Sheowed

herselfthat.

ShearrivedatBailey'sdeadontwelveo'clockandKeithwas

alreadysittingatatablefortwoinwhathadoncebeentheir

favouritespot.Ayoungcouplehadenteredthecoffeebarinfront

ofherandhedidn'tseeherimmediately,givinghertimetostudy

him.Asshewalkedtowardshimshethought,he'snotnearlyas

handsomeasIrememberhim.Whydidn'tIseehowweakhis

mouthlooksbefore?Howweakandalmostprettyhiswholeface

is?He'sasunlikeTravisasit'spossibletobe.Atinselandglitter

man,nothingmore.

Andthenhesawher,hismouthbreakingintotheeasysmilewhich

hadcapturedherheartintheolddaysbutnowdidabsolutely

nothingforher.Nothing.

'Beth.'Hehadrisentohisfeetwiththegoodmannersshehadonce

thoughtwerenaturalbutnowknewwereallpartofthecultivated

charm.'Youlookwonderful,'hesaidsmoothly.

'Thankyou.'Shesmiled,avoidingphysicalcontactbyslidinginto

herseatatonce.Shedidn'treturnthecompliment.

'Idon'tneedtoaskyouhowyouare,'hecontinuedwhenhe'dsat

downhimself,andnowtherewasdefinitelyanelementofpique

thathecouldn'tquitehideinhismanner.Shesawhimglanceat

herlefthandanditpreparedherforhisnextquestion..Axeyou

withanyone?'heaskedinthefaintlywistfultonehe'dusedinthe

pastwhichhadneverfailedtomelther.

'Yes,Iam.'Well,sheshouldbe,shetoldherself,andevenifTravis

hadn'texistedshewouldhavesaidthesameatthismoment.'And

you?HowareAnnaandthechildren?'

Hestaredatherasthoughhecouldn'tquitebelieveitwasher.But

thenshedidn'tfeelliketheBethhehadknownanymore,she

realisedwithagreatsurgeofjoy.Shehadmovedon.Shehad

reallymovedonfromallofthissordidmess.

Itwasamomentortwobeforehepulledhimselftogetherenough

tosay,'Annadoesn'tliveinEnglandanymore.Shemet

someone—Iunderstandshe'smarriednow.TheyliveintheStates.

Michigan,Ithink.Somewherelikethat.'

'Andthechildren?'Bethaskedquietly.

'Withtheirmother.'Hismouthhadthinnedandforasecondshe

almostfeltsorryforhim.Almost.Travishadbeenright,Keith

wouldendupalonelyoldman.

ItwasonthetipofhertonguetosayshewasgladforAnna

becauseshegenuinelywas,butitmightlookasifshewas

crowing.Insteadshetookasipofthecoffeehehadorderedinher

absence,alongwithasliceofchocolatecakeandthenaskedhim

abouthiswork.

Shekepttheconversationongenerallinesthroughoutthefew

minutesittooktofinishthecoffee.Thesliceofcakesheleft

untouched.Andthenshestoodup,reachingacrossandholdingout

herhandasshesaid,'Goodbye,Keith.I'mmovingawaysothere

willbenochancewe'llmeetagain.Ihopeyoufindwhatyou're

lookingfor.'

Hewassotakenabackhedidn'tmoveforsomeseconds,thenhe

mumbled,'You'renotgoingalready?Ithought...Imean,whydid

youcallme?'

Bethsmiled.'ToclosetheoldchapterofmylifesoIcanenterthe

newonewithallmyheart.Youknowme,it'sallornothing.Ican't

functionanyotherway.'

Hetookherhand,hishandshakelimp.Itfittedsomehow.'Who..

whoishe?'hemutteredresentfully.

'Nooneyouknow.'Hersmiledwidened.'Goodbye.'

Andshewalkedoutofthecoffeebarintothebrightsunlight,the

crushingweightwhichhadbeenonhershouldersforthelast

eighteenmonthsgone.Itwasheady,euphoric,andsheknewshe

wasgrinningliketheCheshirecatbecauseofthestrangelooks

passers-byweregivingher,althoughoneortwosmiledtentatively

backinreturn.Bless'em.

Shehadbeenstupid,sostupid,shethoughtasshewalkedon,but

shehadneverreallycutthelasttieswhichhadheldhertoKeith.

Maybenotlettinggocompletelyhadallbeenmixedupwithher

parentsdyingandthefactthatshehadreallymeanteveryoneof

herweddingvows,butshecouldn'tallowaweak,immoraland

flawedmantoruintherestofherlife.Traviswastheantithesisof

Keithineverywayandshehadtotrustinthatorshe'dbehungup

onherpastforever.

Aclever,consciencelessliarwouldalwayshaveacertainamount

ofpowerovergoodhonestpeople—wasitTraviswhohadsaid

that?Butsuchpowerwouldn'tandcouldn'tlastbecauseeventually

lieswereexposed.Keithdidn'tstanduptothelightofday—

literally,shethought—becauseshehadnoticedthelinesappearing

roundhiseyesandmouthandhisjawswerebeginningtohang.

Soonthoseboyishgoodlookswhichwerealargepartofhischarm

wouldbegone,andhisshallownesswouldbecomemoreandmore

apparent.

Travis,ontheotherhand,wouldstrideintooldageasvirileand

magneticasever,perhapsevenmoresobecausehisrugged

attractivenesslentitselftotheageingprocess.

Shehailedapassingtaxicaband,onceshewasonherwayhome,

relaxedagainsttheseat.Travishadtoldhershewastheloveofhis

life,thathewouldneverloveanyoneelseandthathewantedto

marryher.Hehadbeenunbelievablypatientwithherfromthe

veryfirstwhilststillforcinghertofacehergremlinsandconquer

them.Hewaseverythingintheworldshehadeverwantedandshe

hadtoldhimshedidn'tlovehimandhadsenthimaway.

Wouldheforgiveher?Sheshiveredinspiteofthewarmday.And

howhadshethoughtshecouldeverlivetherestofherlifewithout

him?Whatwasshegoingtodo?

CHAPTERELEVEN

ByeveningtimeBethknewexactlywhatshewasgoingtodo.She

hadtoldKeithshewasanallornothinggirlanditwastrue.She

hadmadeamistakeofmomentousproportionsinrefusingTravis;

onlyanequallymomentousactofrepentancewoulddo.Shehadto

showhimshemeantwhatshesaidwhenshetoldhimsheloved

him,thatshehadlovedhimforsometimebuthadbeentooscared,

andtoostubborn,toadmitit.Itwasalltheeggsinthebaskettime.

ThenextmorningshephonedJohnTurnerdeadonthedotofnine

o'clock.'John?It'sBeth,'shesaid,afterhissecretaryputher

through.'Haveyoure-letHerbCottageyet?'

'Goodgracious,no.You'dpaidthesixmonths'rentinadvanceso

therewasnohurryasfarastheowner'sconcerned.Why?'

'I'mcomingback.'Shewaitedsilentlyforhisreaction.

'Right.'Apausefollowed.'Howlongfor?'heaskedcarefully.'Do

youintendtoseeouttherentalperiod?'

Bethgottheideahethoughtshewasacrazywomanandshe

couldn'tblamehim.Whenshehadgiventhekeysovershehad

beenadamantshewouldn'tbebackandthattheycouldre-letat

once.'Fortherestofthetimeandpossiblyafarthersixmonthsif

thecottagewillbeavailable.I'm...I'msellingupinLondon.Ishall

belookingforworkinyourarea.'

'Isee.Ithought—'Hestoppedabruptly.'DoesTravisknow?'he

askedafteranuncomfortablemomentortwo.

ObviouslytheShropshiregrapevinehadbeenactive.Hedearly

wasawaretherewassomesortoftroublebetweenitem.'Hewill

shortly.'BethHopedhe'dleaveitatthat.

'Right.'Therewasalongerpausebeforehesaid,'Travisisagood

man,Beth.I'dhatetoseehimmessedabout.'

'SowouldI,John,'Bethsaidsoftly.

Thenexttelephonecallwastothepracticewhereshewas

employed.Afterspeakingtotheseniorpartner,whowas

wonderfullyunderstanding,Bethconfirmedshewouldsendina

writtenresignationandhepromisedheraglowingreferencein

return.

Shewasn'ttooconcernedaboutthat,butshethankedhimandthey

partedamicably.Thesaleofherflatwouldmeanshewas

financiallyindependentforalongtime,evenifshedidnotsecure

anotherjobimmediately,butshewasquitepreparedtoworkat

somethingelse—inashop,helpingoutatapub,anything—until

therightprofessionalpositioncamealong.Infact,shethought

she'dratherenjoyit.

Laterthatafternoonsheputthesaleoftheflatintothehandsofthe

estateagentwhohadsoldittoher.Thenshephonedhersisterand

explainedwhatshewasdoing.Whenshehadrecoveredherpower

ofspeech,Catherineofferedtostoreanyofthefurnitureand

possessionsBethwantedtokeepinherspareroomandonehalfof

herdoublegarage.

Alltheimmediatewheelssetinmotion,Bethsatlookingoutofthe

flatwindowovercityrooftopsastheskychangedfrombrightblue

toduskymauvestreakedwithpink.Johnhadpromisedtodropthe

cottagekeyundertheplantpotbeforehewenthomethatnightand

herbagswerepacked.

Shelookedroundtheflatonelasttime.Harvey,whohadsensed

somethingwasafootandwasactingasthoughhewasonsprings,

whinedatherfeet.'Onelastthing,'shetoldthebigdogquietly.

'Themostimportantthing.Keepyourpawscrossedforme,

Harvey.'

ShedialedTravis'smobilenumber,herheartthumpingsohardit

hurt.Eachringseemedlikealifetimebutthenhisvoice,deepand

smokyrich,cameovertheline.Itwasarecordedmessageand,to

hersurprise,sheburstintotears.

Severaltissueslater,shetriedagain,andthistimemanagedtowait

forthebeep.'It'sBeth,Travis.Ineedtotalktoyou.I'msorry,I'm

sosorry,I'vebeensuchafool.You'reright,peoplehavegone

throughmuchworsethanIdidandIhavebeenself-pityingandall

sortsofthings.Canyoueverforgiveme?Ishallunderstandifyou

can't.'Shetookadeepbreath.'No,no,Iwon't,'sheretracted

incoherently,'becauseyousaidyoulovedmeandthatmeans

howeverstupidI'vebeenyoustillloveme.I...'Shewascrying

oncemorebutmanagedtosob,'I'mgoingtothecottageagain.I'm

stayingthere.Idon'twanttoleave.I—'

Thebeeptoldherhertimewasupandshestaredatthephone

stupidlybeforeputtingitdown.Hadshetoldhimshelovedhim?

Shecouldn'tremembernow.Hadshe?Shemusthavedone.She

hadbeengoingtosayitwhenshe'dbeencutoffbutshemusthave

saiditbefore,surely?Orperhapsnot.

ShesurprisedHarveybystampingherfoot,thetearsstreaming

downherface.Shecouldn'tevenmakeatelephonecall.How

couldshehopetoputthingsrightwhenshecouldn'tevenmakea

telephonecall?Shewouldcallhimagaintomorrow.Shewould

keeponcallinguntilhetalkedtoher.

TenminuteslatersheandHarveywereinthecar,headingaway

fromLondon.Thetwilightshadowswerethicknowbutitwasn't

completelydark,althoughitwouldbebythetimeshearrived.She

couldn'twaittogettothecottage.Shehadfelttotallyatoddsfrom

theSecondshe'darrivedbackinthecity.Ithadbeenasthoughshe

hadalwayslivedinthetranquilsurroundingsofShropshirerather

thantheotherwayround.Thetrafficnoise,thedust,theheat,had

seemedoverwhelming,eventhethingsshe'dalwaysloved—the

hustle and bustle of cosmopolitan life,the shops,the

entertainment—hadheldnoappeal.Nothinghadheldanyappeal.

Butthenitwouldn'twithoutTravis.

ThecottagewaswonderfullyfamiliarwhenBethfinallynosedthe

carintothefrontgardenafteropeningthebigswinggate.Shefelt

asifshehadcomehome.Blinkingbackthetears,sheletan

ecstaticHarveyoutofthecarandretrievedthekeyfromunderthe

plantpot,lugginginherbagsandcasesasHarveybegana

thoroughinspectionofthelawnandflowerbeds.Shehadjustput

thelastitemsawayinthefridgewhenHarveybeganafrenzied

barking.

Travis?Sherushedtothefrontdoorbut,onopeningit,saw

Harveywasinacornerofthelawn,nosingatsomethingandthen

leapingbackbeforetryingagain,barkingallthetimeandtotally

ignoringherwhenshecalledhisname.

Ithadtobeoneoftheresidenthedgehogs.Harveyhadhadrun-ins

withthembefore,whichalwaysresultedinthehedgehogsambling

offscotfreeandsmugandHarveywithaprickedandsorenose.

Shedidn'tfancyanothervisittothelocalvettomorrow for

antibioticsandgoodnessknewwhat.

Yellingdidnogood,soafterfindinghershoes,whichshe'dkicked

offminutesbefore,Bethranacrossthelawn.Shewashalfway

whenawfulrealitydawned.Stoppingdead,sheturned.Thedoor

wasshut.Thekeywasinside.Thecarwaslocked.Instincthad

madeherpullthedoortobehindherandthelatchhadclicked.She

haddoneitagain.

Shecheckedthedoorbutsheknewitwasuseless.Itdidn'tbudge

aninch.

ForasecondBethdidn'tknowwhethertolaughorcry.Inthe

eventshedidneither.AfterluggingHarveyawayfrom the

disdainfulhedgehog,shesatdownonthestepandconsideredher

options.Itdidn'ttakelong.

ItwasjustpastmidnightonaFridaynight.Awarm,moonlit

summer'snight,admittedly,butitwouldstillgetamitechillyin

theearlyhoursandshewasn'tevenwearingacardiganoverthe

vesttopandcombattrousersshe'dchangedintoforthedrivefrom

London.Shecouldeithersititoutthroughthehoursofdarkness

andthentrudgethefewmilestothevillageinthemorning,or

walktoTravis'shouserightnowandseeifhewasupforthe

weekend.Throwherselfonhismercy—again.

AcoupleofminuteslatersheandHarveywerecarefullypicking

theirwayalongthelane,oratleastshewas.Harveywasprancing

aboutlikesomethingdemented,besidehimselfwithexcitementat

theunexpectedbonusofamidnightwalk.

BethtriednottothinkaboutwhatshewouldsaytoTravisifhe

wasathome.Thiswasmadeeasierbythefactshewashavingto

concentrateveryhardonnotstumblinginthedarkness;thetrees

borderingthelaneformedacanopyoverheadwhichwasvery

picturesqueindaylightbutmadethelanealmostpitch-black

comparedwiththemoonlitnightbeyondit.

Eventuallythegateswereinfrontofher—she'darrived.And,toe-

curlingly,therewerelightsdownstairsandtwovehiclesonthe

drive.Two?Bethpeeredatthemfromthegate.TheMercedes

EstateandaRangeRover.Travishadavisitor.Herstomachdid

suchaflipsheinvoluntarilyputherhandsonit.Itdidn'thavetobe

awoman.Sheshuthereyestightlybeforeopeningthemwide.The

urgetoturntailandwalkawaywasstrong.Truthtime,shetold

herselfsilently.Doyoubelieveinhimornot?

Floodedbyemotionsaschaoticasastormysea,Bethwalkedup

thepebbleddrivetothelargehorseshoe-shapedareadirectlyin

frontofthehousewherethecarswereparked.Harveyhadraced

ahead,delightedwithwheretheyhadfinishedup.ShebaandSky

livedheresoithadtobegood.

Shestood,herheartracing,forsomemomentsbeforesherangthe

bell.Thenshewaited.Harveyhadsatdownexpectantlyatherfeet,

hiseyestrainedonthefrontdoor.Inothercircum-aancesthe

earnestnessinhisstancewouldhavemadehersmile.

SheheardTravis'sdeepvoicecallsomethingtosomeoneinsidethe

housethemomentbeforeheopenedthedoor,whichgavehera

second'swarning.Thenshewasstaringintohisface,Irisdear,dear

face.Andhewasstaringather,blankly.Asthoughhedidn'tknow

whoshewas.Orasthoughhedidn'twanttoknowwhoshewas?

Hadhedecidedtowashhishandsofher?

Gatheringeveryounceofcourage,Bethsaidhuskily,"Hello,

Travis.'Andthenshewaited.

Theblankexpressionvanished,hisvoicestrangledashesaid,

‘Beth.Iwasn'tsureifmymindwasplayingtricks.Ithoughtyou

wereinLondon.'Hestaredather,hiseyesnarrowing.

Harveyhadpushedhiswayintothehouse,carelessofwhetherhe

waswelcomeornot,andamomentlaterafemalevoicecalled,

'Travis?There'sanotherdoginhere.'

'You'vegotcompany.'

Bethwasn'tawareherfacehaddrainedofcolourbutnowhishand

cameouttotakeherwrist,hisvoicemorenormalashesaid,'It's

myvet,'beforecalling,'Harvey,comehere.'Harveyappeared

instantlybutonlysofarasTravis'sside.Bendingandtakinghis

collar,Travissaid.'I'llputhimwithShebainmystudy,'andhe

pulledherintothehallbeforeshuttingthedoor.'Staythere.Don't

move.I'llbeback.'

BethstoodexactlywhereshewasasTravisledHarveytohis

study,herbraintryingtocomputethroughtheshockwhichhad

frozenitwhensheheardawoman'svoice.Shehadthought...She

shookherhead.Traviswaswalkingbacktoherandhefinishedthe

thoughtashesaid,'YouthoughtIhadawomanhere?'

Thewordswereonething,thequestionbehindthemwasanother.

Shestaredathim.Shehadtohandlethisright.Thewomanwasa

vet,whichmeantsomethingwasthematterwithSky.'Youhave,'

shesaidsteadily.'Whatiswrong?'

'YouthoughtIhadadate?'hepersisted,watchingherclosely.

TravisbeingTravis,hewasn'tabouttobedeflected.'Onlyfora

moment.'Shewasn'tabouttolie.ShewouldneverlietoTravis

again.'Whenyoudidn'treturnmyphonecallandthen,hearinga

femalevoice,whatwasIsupposedtothink?I...Isentyouaway.I

wouldn'thaveblamedyouifyou'dhadadatehere.Youwould

havehadeveryright,Iknowthat.'

'Phonecall?'Hisbrowhadwrinkledbutthepiercinggreyeyes

wereburningintohers.'Whatphonecall?'

'Iphonedyourmobileearlier.'

'It'sprobablyinthecar.'Shewatchedhimtakeadeepbreath.'Why

didyoucall?'heaskedsoftly.

I'TotellyouIliedtoyou.Iloveyou.Ihavedoneforalonglime

butIwastoofrightenedtoadmitit—'Herwordswerecutoffby

hismouthonhersandhisarmswrappingthemselvesroundher,

whereuponheliftedherrightoffherfeet.Hismouthwashungry,

bruising,butshedidn'tmind.Shehadthoughtshewouldhaveto

pleadandbegandpersuadehimtolistentoherbutithadonly

takenthreewordsinessence.Threewordssheshouldhavesaid

daysago.Sheclungtohim,kissinghimbackwithallherheartand

feelinggiddywithreliefandasoaringlovethatwasspiralling

higherandhigheruntilshefeltfaintwiththewonderofit.

'Travis?'Hisnamecamefrombeyondtheworldthatwasthetwo

ofthem.

Itwasamomentbeforethevoicepenetratedtheirhungerandneed

ofeachother,andthenheliftedhismouthfromher,settingheron

herfeetashesaiddistractedly,'It'sSky,Ihavetohelp...'

'I'llcome,'Bethsaidbreathlessly.Totheendsoftheearth.

Shedidn'tknowwhattoexpectasshefollowedTravisintothe

kitchen,butitwasn'tthesightofSkylyinginahugebasketwith

fourtinyscramblingpuppiesinatowel-linedboxatthesideofher.

Theyweremakingsoftmewingnoises.

Thevet,anattractivemiddle-agedwomanwhomBeththoughtshe

recognisedvaguelyfromtheveterinarypracticeshehadvisitedfor

Harvey'shedgehogabrasions,lookedupastheyenteredandshe

wassmiling.'Lastone'sjustpoppedoutnow.Theproblemwasthe

bigboywhocamefirst;hewasactinglikeacork.Oncehewasout

shehadnodifficultwithhissisters.'

'Oh,they'regorgeous.'Bethgazedentrancedatthesight."You

didn'ttellme,'sheaddedsoftlytoTravis.

'Hedidn'tknow.'Thevetgrinnedather.'Igotafranticcallearlier

tosaySkyseemedtobeinagreatdealofpainandacting

strangely.Itwasarelieftofindshewaswhelping.'

'It'sallthatfur.'Forthefirsttimesinceshehadknownhim.Travis

wasembarrassed.'They'rebothlikegreatbears;nowaren'tthey?'

Heappealedtobothwomen.'Ithoughtshewasgettingfatterbut

theybotheatlikehorsesanyway.'

'Bears,horses...'Thevetwaslaughingassherosetoherfeet,

flexingherback.'Well,Travis,you'vegotanadditionoffour

healthypupstothefamily.Who'stheluckyfatherDoIknowhim,

byanychance?'

TravislookedatBeth.Andthenhesmiled.

Foraminuteshedidn'tunderstand.Then,herhandgoingtoher

mouth,shemurmured,'Heisn't?NotHarvey?'

'Onlymalethey'vebeenincontactwithformonths.'Travis

grinned.'Ithoughthewaslookingpleasedwithhimselfon

occasion.IjusthopeShebaisstillchasteandvirtuous.Hell."

Therewasarealnoteofpanicinhisvoice.'I'vejustshutHarveyin

withher.'

'I'llcheckherifyoulikebeforeIgo,'thevetoffered.

A coupleofminuteslatershewasback.'Don'tworryabout

shuttingthedoginwithhertonight,'shesaidcheerfully.'Thejob

wasdonesometimeago.Ithinktheeventsoftonightwillbe

repeatedinroughlythreeweeks.'

Travisshuthiseyesforaninfinitesimalmoment.

Bethstoodwatchingthepuppies,whowerenowsnuggledinthe

basketwithmumandsuckling,whileTravisshowedthevetout.

Whenhewalkedbackintothekitchenshesaidimmediately,‘Im

sosorry,Travis,aboutHarvey.Allthesepuppies’

'Forceofnature.'Hetookherinhisarms,strokingherfaceand

stoppingmorewordswithhislips.Whenheraisedhismouthfrom

hersalittlewhilelatershewastremblingandaching.'Sayitagain,'

hewhisperedagainstherlips.'Tellmeyouloveme.I'vebeen

waitingalifetimetohearit.'

'Iloveyou,'shebreathed,thepuppiessnufflingattheirfeet.'Ilove

youmorethanIhaddreameditwaspossibletolove.'

'Andtrust?'Hishandtiltedherchinsoshewaslookingdirectly

intothedeeppoolsofhiseyes.'Whatabouttrust?'

'Thattoo.Ipromiseyou,thattoo.'

Shehadexpectedsomethingofaninterrogationbutagainhe

acceptedwhatshesaidwithouthesitation.Becausehetrustedher,

Beththoughthumbly.Lovedandtrustedher.JohnTurnerwas

right,Traviswasagoodman.Agiantamongmen,amanshe

wantedtobebesidefortherestofherlife.Suddenlyallthethings

shehadthoughtwerelostforever— ahomesharedwiththeman

sheloved,children,togetherness—wereinfrontofheragainandit

washeady.

'Youaretheloveofmylife,Beth.'Hisvoicewasveryquietbut

therewasaqualitytoitwhichbroughttearstohereyes.'Ifyou'll

letme,Iwanttospendtherestofmylifeprovingittoyou.Will

youmarryme?'

Forasecond,justthetiniestsecond,theenormityofwhatshewas

doingsweptoverher.Thenshelookedintohissteadygreyeyes,

whichwereshiningwithsuchaloveshefeltlikeaqueenbeforeit.

'Yes,'shesaid,hereyesshining.'Oh,yes,Travis.Yes,yes,yes!'

Bethdidn'twantabigwedding,justfamilyandafewclosefriends

likeMavisandDaveandtheirchildren.Theyagreedtheywould

throwahugepartyforeveryoneelsewhentheycamebackfrom

theirhoneymoon.

TheyweremarriedinthelittleparishchurchinShropshiretwo

monthsafterTravisproposed,onamildsunnyearlyOctober

afternoon.Afterwardseveryonepiledbacktothehousewhere

Travishadhadamarqueeerectedinthegarden.Itwaswonderfully

informal,childrenrunningaboutlaughingandplayingandthe

adultssittingtalkingordancingtothesmallbandTravishadhired.

Thechampagneflowed,folkatewhentheyfeltlikeitfromthe

deliciousbuffetandeveryonecongratulatedTravisonhavingsuch

anexquisitelylovelybride.

Itdidn'tescapeBern'sattentionthatallthewomenpresent—even

thehappilymarriedones—couldn'tkeeptheireyesoffTravis

either.Hisruggedgoodlookslentafaintlybroodingairtothe

formalweddingfinerywhichwasthrillinglyromantic.ButBeth

didn'tmindthemlooking.Traviswashers,alwaysandforever.

Shewascompletelysureaboutthatnow.

Thepuppies,allnineoftheminvarioussizes—fourfromSkyand

anotherfivefromSheba—werethehitofthedaywiththechildren.

Harveystruttedaroundasthoughhewasasultanwithaharem,

whichshesupposedhewasinaway,Beththoughtfondly.Even

thetwopuppiessheandTravishadchosentokeepwerefemales.

Theotherseventhey'dfoundgoodhomesfor,Catherineand

MichaelhavingearmarkedSky'senormousfirstbornwhom

Catherinedeclaredwastheveryimageofhishandsomefather.

'You'rethemostbeautifulbrideintheworld;everyone'ssaidso,'

TraviswhisperedinBeth'searlaterthateveningastheydancedto

aslowromanticnumberthebandwasplaying.Itwastrue.Beth's

Duchesseivorysilkdresswasdeceptivelysimple,butthewaythe

close-fittinggownemphasisedhertinywaistandperfectfigure

madeitbreathtaking.Insteadofaveil,aprofusionoftinypink

rosebudswerethreadedthroughherupswepthair,thesame

flowersreflectedintheposyshecarried.

ThelookonTravis'sfaceashehadturnedtoseeherwalkupthe

aislehadreducedallthewomenpresentinthechurchtotearseven

beforetheservicehadstarted.

Bethreachedupandnuzzledherlipsinthedeliriouslyfragrant

hollowunderhisear,wantinghimsobadlysheachedwithit.As

alwayshereadhermind.'Whendoyouthinkthey'llallgohome?'

hemurmured,hisbodyprovidingampleproofhewasasaroused

asshewas.'Soon?Verysoon?'

Bethgiggled.'Notforages.Everyone'senjoyingthemselvestoo

much.Ithinkthey'reherefortheduration!'

'Thenwe'llhavetomakeourgoodbyesandleavethemtoit.'

'Wecan't.'Bethwasgenuinelyshocked."Whatwillpeoplethink?'

'ThatIcan'twaittohaveyoutomyselfandthey'redamnright,'

Travisanswereddrily.'Comeon,we'releaving.'

SandraandTravis'smother—hisstepfatherhadexcusedhimself

fromattendingtheweddingduetopressureofbusiness,muchto

everyone'sunspokenrelief—werestayingatthehousetakingcare

ofallthedogsuntiltheyreturnedfromhoneymooninginItaly.

Travishadreservedthehoneymoonsuiteatalocalhotelfrom

wheretheywouldgostraighttoItalythenextmorning.Nowhe

tookherhand,kissingthepalminsuchawayherlegsturnedto

jelly.'Allright,'Bethwhispered.Thiswouldbetheirfirsttime

togetherandshewantedhimasmuchashewantedher.Other

peoplefadedintoinsignificance.

Thenightthepuppieshadbeenbornshehadshylyofferedto

accompanyhim tothemasterbedroom,buthehadtakenher

hands,holdingherslightlyawayfromhim,ashe'dsaid,'Thank

youforyourloveandtrustinme,mydarling,andIwantyoumore

thanwordscansay,butwe'regoingtodothisright.Iwon'tpretend

Ihaven'thadwomen,Beth,butyouknow that.Butyou're

different,thisisdifferent.Therestofyourlifestartsnowandit's

goingtostartright.Iwantyouformywife,themotherofmy

children,andthatsetsyouapart.DoyouunderstandwhatI'm

saying?Youareworthwaitingfor.'

Shehadnodded,faintlybewilderednonetheless.

'Havingsaidthat,mynobilityonlygoessofar,'Travishad

continuedwryly.'Thiswillbeashortengagement,OK?Avery

shortengagement.'

Theydroveawayfromthehouseinashowerofriceandconfetti,

SandrahavingcaughtthebouquetBeththrewfromthetaxicab.

Theysatclosetogetherinthebackofthecar,then-handsentwined.

Theeveningshadowswerelongandasoftscenteddarkness

envelopedtheworldoutsidethecabbutBethwasconsciousonly

ofherhusbandandwhathemeanttoher.Whichwaseverything—

hersun,moonandstars.

Travishadsaidthiswasthestartoftherestoftheirlivesandshe

believedthat.Allthathadgonebefore—Keith,herfirstmarriage,

thedisasterithadbecome—wasinthepast.Thefuturewastheirs,

tomakeofitwhattheywould,andsheintendeditwouldbegood.

Verygood.

Whentheysteppedoutofthetaxicabthefragranceofwood

smokewaslazyinthewarmautumnair;theskywasvelvet,

piercedwithstarsandfloodedwithpalemoonlight.Asenseof

whisperingstillnesspervadedtheperfectnight,timelessand

enchantingasthesoundofthecarfadedaway.

Travisstoodwithhisarmroundherwaist,hisheadliftedtothe

harvestmoon.'Therewillbeothernightslikethis,'hemurmured

huskilyasthesilenceofthenightenfoldedthem.'Alifetimeof

them.Andonedaywhenthechildrenhavegrownupandgoneand

it'sjustthetwoofusagain,I'llremindyouoftonight.I'lltellyou

howbeautifulyouareandhowmuchIloveyou,whataluckyman

Iam.'

'AndI'lltellyouyousavedme,'Bethwhisperedback,touchinghis

chiselledfacewiththepalmofherhand.'AndthatIloveyoumore

thanlifeitself.'

Thehoneymoonsuitewassumptuousandmoderninshadesof

cream andgold,'champagneoniceandahugebasketof

strawberrieswaitingforthem.TravisandBethsawnothingbut

eachother.

Heundressedherslowly,relishingeverylong-awaitedmoment

andsherewardedhimwithtotalsurrender.Asherdressfelltothe

floor,shesteppedoutofit,reachingforhimandgloryinginthe

expressiononhisface."Iwantyoutomakelovetome,'shetold

himveryseriously.'I'vewanteditfromthefirsttimewemet.'

Travissmiledslowly.'Whythehellhasittakenussolongwhen

we'vebeenofthesamemind?'hedrawledsoftly.

Inthebriefestmomentoftimetheworldfadedawayandtheylet

theirbodiesspeakforthem,seekingeachothergreedily.Travis

rippedoffhisownclothes,Beth'sfingersclumsyandfeverishas

shehelpedhim,andthentheywerebothnaked,takinginthescent

andfeelofeachotherastheyswayedtogetherinthemiddleofthe

opulentroom.

Lettingherbodyspeakforher,Bethmovedherhipsagainsthis,

herbreathcomingingaspsashismouthtrailedfromherthroatto

theroundedfullnessofherbreasts.Hewasalreadyhugelyaroused

buttheamazingcontrolshehadsensedmorethanonceheld,his

mindandbodyalertashenippedandcaressedandtastedheruntil

shelostthelastremnantsofrestraint.

Drawingherovertothehugebed,heurgedherdownamongthe

scentedsheetsandpillowsandcontinuedthesensualonslaught,

murmuringsuchwordsofloveandpassionthatshedidn'ttryto

hidethefulfillmentshesodesperatelywanted.Butstillhedidn't

takeher,kissingeverypartofherandcreatingsucharawand

primitiveneedthatherlegswrappedroundhis,fracturingthelast

shredofhisconstraint.

Shegaspedasheenteredher,hernailsdiggingintohisshoulder

bladesandherbreathingfastandwild.Shehadn'tthoughtsuch

intensityofpleasurecouldexistbutthenthefiercerhythmswithin

thecoreofherbecameall-consumingandhetookhertoaplace

shehadneverbeenbefore,aplacewheretherewasonlythetwoof

themandtherestoftheworldceasedtoexist.

Itfeltlikealongtimebeforeshecouldmoveorevenopenher

eyes,butwhenshedidthegreygazewaswaitingforher.'Well,

Mrs.Black?'Hetracedapathdownthesideofherfacewithalazy

finger.'Worthwaitingfor?'

Shetouchedherfingerstohismouth,hervoiceholdingwonder

andbewilderment.'Ineverknew,'shewhisperedfaintly.'I'venever

before...'

Hesmiled.'It'sthejackpot,sweetheart,'hemurmuredthroatily.

'Heavenonearth.It'swhathappenswhenyou'reonepartofa

perfectwhole.'

'Didyouknow?Thatitcouldbeso...'

'Ifyou'reaskingmeifI'veevercomeclosetofeelinglikethisthen

theanswer'sno.'Hepulledheragainsthim,theslowheavybeatof

hisheartandtheroughfeelofhisbodyhairagainstthesmooth

silkinessofherskinintoxicating.'You'veblownmeaway,woman,

ifyouwanttoknow.YouwereeverythingI'veeverdreamedof,

everyfantasyI'veeverhad.Myperfect,beautiful,amazingBeth.'

Hetookherfaceinhisstronghands,cuppingittenderlyashe

kissedherlonganddeeplyonthelips.'Forever,'hewhispered

againstthehotflushedskinofherface.'Doesthatbotheryou?

Frightenyou?Evenjusttheslightest?Youcantellme,Iwon't

mind.'

'Ofcourseitdoesn't.'Theloveinhereyeswasanswerenoughfor

him.

'Allthegremlinsvanquished?'hesaid,hissmilegrowing.

'Theydidn'tstandachanceonceI'dmetyou.'

'I'mgoingtomakeupforeveryminuteofunhappinessyou'veever

had,everybluemood,everytearyou'vecried.'Suddenlythe

amusementhadgoneandhewasdeadlyserious,hishandtracing

herfacewithexquisitegentleness.'Ican'tchangethepast,my

darling,butIcanmakethefutureoursanditwillbewonderful.'

Shewonderedifhe'dguessedshe'dshedatearforhermotherthat

morning,achingforhertoseeherdressedinherweddingfinery.

Shethoughtso.Heseemedsotender.

'We'regoingtobemorehappythananycouplehaseverbeensince

thefoundationoftheworld,doyoubelievethat?'hemurmured

againstherlips.'Doyoufeelitdeepinside?'

Shenodded.Hishandswereworkingtheirmagicagainandshe

wasfindingspeechimpossible.

Hisarmstightenedaroundherand,asshemethimkissforkiss,

shewonderedwhatshehadeverdonetodeservesuchaloveas

this.Asherbodymeltedintohis,sheknewshewantednothing

morefortherestofherlifethanthismanbesideher.

Muchlatertheyfellasleepineachother'sarms,entwinedand

fittedtogetherlikeaperfectlivingjigsaw,repleteandcontent.Two

livesjoinedtogetherforeternity,twoheartsbeatingasone.

Despitealltheodds,theyhadfoundeachother—thedreamhad

becomereality.Theywerehome.