Manipulating others is a great way to get what you want whether you want to trick your boss into giving you a raise or get your boyfriend to whisk you away on a romantic vacation. Whatever your reason for manipulating someone, if you want to play your cards right, you have to hone your manipulation skills, try out a variety of manipulation techniques, and learn how to manipulate people in a variety of situations. If you want to learn how to manipulate others faster than you can shed a fake tear, then follow these steps.

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Hone Your Manipulation Skills

1 Take an acting class. A big part of manipulation is learning how to master your emotions and make other people receptive to your contrived feelings. If you want to know how to appear more distressed than you really are, or to use a variety of other emotional techniques to get your way, then taking an acting class is a perfect way to improve your powers of persuasion. Dont tell other people that youre taking an acting class if youre only doing it to learn how to manipulate people. Otherwise theyll grow even more suspicious of your tactics. 2 Take a debate or public speaking class. While acting classes can help you master your emotions and convince others that youll be very distressed if you dont get what you want, taking a debate or public speaking class will help you learn how to convince people to give you what you want in a calm and rational manner. Not only will you learn to organize and present your thoughts in a more constructive way, but youll also learn techniques for making your needs sound very convincing. The calm and persuasive method is great for convincing your boss or coworkers to do something. Being emotional may not work in a professional setting. 3 Be charismatic. Charismatic people have a natural tendency to get what they want. If you want to manipulate people, then you need to work your charisma. You should be able to smile and light up a room, have approachable body language to make people want to talk to you, and be able to hold up a conversation with absolutely anyone, from your nine-year-old cousin to your history teacher. Here are some other ways to be charismatic: Make people feel special. Make eye contact when you talk to them, and ask them about their feelings and interests. Show them that you really care about getting to know themeven if you dont. Exude confidence. Charismatic people love who they are and what they do. And if you have faith in yourself, then people will be much more likely to take you seriously and to give in to your needs. 4 Learn from the masters. If you have a friend, family member, or even an enemy who is a master manipulator, you should study this person and even take notes to see how he always manages to get what he wants. This will give you new insight into how to manipulate people, even if you end up getting tricked in the process. If youre really committed to learning how to manipulate people, then you may even find yourself equipped with the skills to manipulate one of the people youve been studying. 5 Learn to read people. Every person has a different emotional and psychological makeup and is therefore manipulated for different reasons. Before you start plotting your latest manipulation scheme, take the time to study the person you want to manipulate to understand what makes him tick and to see the best approach for getting this person to bend to your needs. Here are some different things you may find when you read people:

Many people are susceptible to emotional responses. These people are emotional themselves, cry at movies, love puppies, and have strong powers of sympathy and empathy. To get them to do what you want, youll have to play to their emotions until they feel sorry for you and give you what you want. Other people have a strong guilt reflex. Some people were raised in a restrictive household where they were punished for doing every little thing wrong and now go through life feeling guilty about everything they do. With these people, the answer is obviousmake them feel guilty for not giving you what you want until they give in. Some people are more receptive to the rational approach. If your friend is very logically minded, reads the news often, and always needs facts and evidence before he makes a decision, then youll have to use your calm persuasive powers to get what you want instead of using your feelings to manipulate him.

Use a Variety of Manipulation Techniques

1 Follow an unreasonable request by a more reasonable one. This is time-tested tactic for getting what you really want. Its simple. If you want to manipulate someone, you should first make an unreasonable request, wait for the person to reject you, and then follow it up by a more reasonable request. It will sound much more appealing to your victim in comparison to the first request.[1] For example, if you want your employee to come in early the next day, just say, Would you mind leading the new project? Youll just have to come in to work two hours early for the next few months. When your employee shakes his head, just say, Oh, all right. But would you mind coming in early tomorrow to help me wrap up this report? Hell be much more receptive after the first request. 2 Make an unusual request before your real request. Another way to ask someone to do something for you is to make an unusual request that throws the person off guard so much that he cant think to say no. If you ask for the usual request right awaymoney, a ride, help with homeworkpeople will be more likely to say no because their minds have been conditioned to avoid these tasks. [2] For example, if you want to ask someone on the street to sign a petition, you can first ask that person to help you tie your shoe because you sprained your back and cant bend down. This will establish a relationship with the person and will make him less likely to turn you down when you ask him to sign the petition. 3 Inspire fear, then relief. If you want to get what you want, you can first make a person fear the worst, be relieved, and then be happy enough to grant you whatever you want. This is a mean little trick but itll get you results.[3] For example, you could tell your friend, You know, when I was driving your car, I heard the most terrible noise and was sure that your engine died. But then I realized it was just coming from the radioisnt that funny? Pause and wait for your friend to recover before you say, Which reminds medo you mind if I borrow your car again over the weekend? 4 Make the person feel guilty. Guilt is another excellent tactic to getting what you want if youre manipulating the right person. First, pick someone who is prone to feeling guilty already. Then make that person feel like hes being a bad parent, friend, or boyfriend for not giving you what you want, no matter how ridiculous it is.[4] If you want your parent to feel guilty, just make him feel that your life or childhood is suffering because hes not letting you have enough experiences. If you want your friend to feel guilty, remind him of all the great things youve done for her, or casually mention all the times shes let you down. If you want your boyfriend to feel guilty, just say, Its okayI expected this, thus making him feel like he always lets you down. 5

Use bribery. Bribery is another great way of getting what you want. You dont have to blackmail someone to use this trick to achieve your goals. You can even bribe someone with a reward that isnt so appealing, or with something that you would do anyway. For example, you can ask your friend for help studying for the math test, and offer her a ride to class in exchange, even if youve given her a ride before and its no big deal. Figure out what the person wants and try to give it to her. If your friend has a crush on the new guy in school, promise that youll try to get his number if she does what you want. Dont make it obvious that youre bribing. Just make it seem like you really want to do something nice for that person in return. 6 Play the victim. Playing the victim is a great way to get what you want as long as you dont overdo it. This is a great tactic that should be used sparingly, but which will pierce the heart of your victim when done in the right way. Just act like youre a wonderful, altruistic person, and that all of the evil in the universe has somehow fallen upon you. Play dumb. Say, I just dont know what I keep doing wrong. Make it sound like youre genuinely baffled by why things never work out for you. Say, Its okayIm used to this. Make the person feel guilty, like youre surrounded by people who will never help you out. Be pathetic. If your friend wont give you a ride across town, say, Its okayIll just walk. I could use the exercise. 7 Use logic. For the rational-minded people in your life, logic is the great persuader. Come armed with at least three results-oriented reasons for why the thing you want would benefit you and even the person youre asking. Talk calmly and rationally as you present your case and dont lose your cool. To reach a rational person, you have to keep emotion out of it or you wont get what you want. Act like what you want is the only logical thing to do. Make the person feel ridiculous for not seeing it your way without saying so. 8 Dont break character. Whatever your method, if your friend, coworker, or significant other calls you out on using a manipulative tactic or for pretending to be more upset than you actually are, dont ever admit that its true. Instead, look even more hurt and say, I cant believe you would think that, which will make the person feel even more guilty and sorry for you.[5] Once you admit to using manipulative tactics, it will be very hard to manipulate the same person again.

Manipulate Anyone in Your Life

1 Manipulate your friends. Manipulating your friends can be a bit tricky since theyll know you well enough to call your bluff if your manipulation skills arent up to par. But dont worry you can still get your friends to do anything you want. First, you have to butter up your friend. The week before you need a big favor, be nice, do small favors for her, and try to mention what a great friend she is. Do whatever you have to do to be a model friend without going overboard. Use your emotions. Your friends care for you, and they wont want to see you upset. Use those acting skills to look much more upset than you really are. Remind your friend of what a great friend you are. Be prepared with examples of times when youve done amazing things for the sake of friendship. Lay on the guilt. You dont have to play the bad friend card, but you can casually mention some other times that the friend has let you down. Make it sound like youre used to this kind of uncaring behavior from your friend without being too accusatory. 2 Manipulate your significant other. Manipulating your significant other to get what you want doesnt have to be hard. The most obvious way to do it is to turn

him on and then ask for the favor, implying that he wont be able to get it on if he doesnt give you what you want. But if you dont want to take this extreme route, there are a number of more subtle ways to manipulate your significant other. Whatever your approach, make sure that you look sexy when you make your request. Youll be more likely to get what you want if your significant other is reminded of how cute or hot you are. Use your emotions. Does your significant other want to see you crying or being very visibly upset? Of course not. If you really want to get what you want, use the waterworks approach in public. Just as a parent is more likely to give in to a child who is throwing a public tantrum, your man will be more likely to give in if youre crying in public. Use this technique sparingly though. Use small bribes. If you really want your man to take you out on a romantic picnic, offer to go to the baseball game with him the next day. Then this becomes less like manipulation and more like ordinary compromise. 3 Manipulate your boss. Using the rational and logical approach with your boss will work best. If you show up at your bosss desk crying or talking about your personal problems, youll be more likely to get fired than to get what youre after. Instead, be logical and firm with your boss, providing concrete reasons for why you need to get what you want. Try to be a model worker on the week before you make your request. Work a little late, keep a big smile on your face, and even bring in bagels or pastries in the morning just because. Ask in an offhand way. Ask your boss like its no big deal, and just casually make the request instead of saying, Theres something really important I wanted to ask you. This will alert him that what youre asking really is a big deal. Try to ask at the end of the day or during a break. Dont talk to your boss at the beginning of the day, when hes stressed out by all the work he has to do. Instead, ask him when hes about to leave for lunch or go home at the end of the daythen hell be more likely to grant you the request than wasting his free time arguing with you. 4 Manipulate your teacher. To manipulate your teacher, you have to mix professionalism with a bit of emotion. On the day you make your request, you should try to be a model student. Arrive to class early, show that youve done the reading, and be active and engaged in the classroom. Tell your teacher how great he is without sucking up. Just casually mention how inspiring he is or how much you love the subject matter. Mention that a lot of stuff is going on at home. This will make things awkward and your teacher will feel sorry for you without wanting to know more. As you continue to talk about your personal life, wait for your teacher to get uncomfortable and offer to give you an extension or to let you rewrite your paper. If this doesnt happen, start in the negative. Say, I know you dont normally give extensions and let your voice trail off as your eyes get misty and you look out the window longingly. If this still doesnt work, go for the heartstrings. Start crying while being mysterious about the stuff going on at home and wait for your teacher to get so uncomfortable that he has no choice but to give you what you want. 5 Manipulate your parents. Your parents are supposed to love you unconditionally and are therefore already a lot more susceptible to manipulation. If you have a baseline of love and support, then all you have to do is be a model offspring for a while before you make your request. Dont miss your curfew, spend time studying, and help out around the house as much as you can. Then, go in for the kill. State your request like its perfectly reasonable. If you want to go to a concert on a school night, casually ask in an offhand way instead of sitting down to have a big talk about it. Make it look like you couldnt possibly see why your parents would say no.

You can even try asking while youre folding laundry or doing the dishes. This will remind your parents of what a great son or daughter you really are. Talk about how all of your friends are doing this thing, and how their parents are okay with it. Dont make this a big deal. Make your parents feel guilty. If you wanted to go to a concert, just say, Its no big deal. Ill just get my friends to get me a t-shirt or something after the show. Make them feel like theyre really making you miss out on a major social or another type of experience. Dont say, Youre ruining my life! If you play your cards right, theyll reach that conclusion on their own.