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Life is meaningless without values. Withoutpersonal values you
become a drifter. Youexist on a day-to-day basis. You havent got
itall together. You might even question if youhave a life. Well,
you do! Oftentimes you
might know or not know why you chose thisinstead of that or why
you seem to be on thesidelines. It all comes down to values.
Ifyoure not satisfied with what your life is,maybe you might have
made some wrongchoices consciously or unconsciously. Theother
possibility is that youre giving toomuch importance to one or
another of thevalues you have chosen to guide you downyour lifes
path. Not only does everyone havevalues but everyone can choose
her/his ownvalues. You can personally decide which ofyour values
are more desirable than others.This is important because your
values arelike beams of light that take you down thefuture path of
your life. They are the flash-lights illuminating the steps you
have to taketo get out of the dark shadows of uncertainty,doubt or
confusion. These difficult experi-ences do come and are not limited
to youth.
A persons values, your values, uncover your
identity and communicate to others who youare, and how you are
different from otherpersons. Values put you on the road of
beingyourself. You cannot allow yourself to be-come a marionette
whose strings are pulledby your family, your acquaintances, or
socie-ty at large. Values assure you and others thatyou are not a
copy, perfect or imperfect, ofwhat others want you to be. When
youchoose your personal values and begin livingthem, you are
declaring your independence!One of the remarkable things about
personalvalues is that they can show you in what di-rection your
next steps should be taking you.
They also tell you if you should step gingerlyor firmly as you
move on with your life. Thisis why its so important to know the
valuesthat you have bought into, what you want tomake of yourself,
and how you want others to
see you. For example, do you value compas-sion, a pleasing
figure, a balanced life, self-confidence, a personal relationship
with God,loyalty, integrity, being there for others whenthey have a
need, chastity, significant person-al time, success in your
studies, having a girl-friend/boyfriend .? The life you lead and
theattitudes you assume communicate what yourdifferent values are
and how much im-portance you are giving to each of them. Theyalso
help you to get to know who you really
are deep down, a truth that just might not co-incide with the
positive or negative image youhave of yourself.
Values are what make life meaningful! Valuesaim us in a certain
direction! Your values canbe good or bad; they can be appropriate
toyour reality; they can bring you to the moun-taintop or they can
cast you into darkness andhellish depths. The values you live
communi-cate to God and others and with more clarity
than you might think whether youre admira-ble or not, humble or
delusional, egoistic oraltruistic, have a superiority or an
inferioritycomplex, whether you are moral, immoral, oramoral. Ask
yourself what your values are anddont be satisfied with an answer
that isnt asclear as can be. Perhaps the following canhelp you get
clarity: Is there anyone or any-thing in the world that you believe
youd beready to die for? Is there anyone or anythingthat youd be
willing to make great or costly
sacrifices for? If youre a Christian, you mightwant to take the
time to consider Jesus sacri-fices. If youre Jewish, you might want
to re-
flect on the hard times that Moses enduredthroughout his life.
If you are a Buddhist,you might consider the years that
Buddhapassed in search of the key to Illumination.If youre Muslim,
you could reflect on the
difficulties Muhammad had defending andpreserving his
revelations from God. Re-flecting on what your values are and
consid-ering the life of persons who have greatlysacrificed
themselves for others (Jesus tosave them; Moses to lead them to
freedom;Buddha to help them avoid unhappiness;Muhammad to help them
understand Godswill) is worth the time you spend on reflect-ing on
the basic value of each of these emi-nent persons. Each ones values
illuminated
the path that they chose to follow, accom-plishing what they had
set out to accom-plish. Thats why they have won the admira-tion of
millions of persons throughout thecenturies.
How much of a sacrifice are you willing tomake so that you can
be a dedicated student,a good worker and a true friend? How
muchwill you sacrifice so that you truly become acredit to
yourself, your loved ones, and an
admirable presence to those with whom youare or will be
joined?
Lets keep going. Are you willing to sacrificeyourself so as to
become the person youwant others to see in some 25, 30 years
fromnow? Try to imagine being invisibly presentand hearing what
others say of you whenyoure 45 or so years old. Will their
judg-ment/criticism make you happy? What is ityou hope to hear them
say? Do you want
them to say they never heard you criticizeanyone; that you dont
pass on secrets oth-ers have told you; that youre a wonderful
Your values are like beams of light that take you down the
future path of your life...
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spouse, parent, friend, priest, minister, rab-bi, imam,
religious person; that youre notbossy and are a pleasure to work
with; thatyoure prudent, loyal, not a quitter; thatyoure truthful
and honest. Each of these isa value that you can make your own but
youhave to begin to consciously choose and nur-ture your values
beginning now, not tomor-row, or next week, or sometime in the
foggyfuture. Now! You can make them your own!In case you forgot,
there is no Santa Claus asregards personal values!
Values dont grow on trees! You shouldknow right from the
beginning that at timesthe values you have chosen are not easy
topossess or to put into practice. But, you canmake them your own
with a bit of sacrifice
and perhaps for a time, by doing what youmight not like to do,
stepping outside your-self. The more you cultivate your values
thedeeper will they sink their roots!
If, for instance, you see being sociable as avalue you desire to
possess, then begin nowto cultivate sociability by
joining/connectingwith a group/groups or club(s) in college orin
your neighborhood or church. If you seeloyalty as a value for you,
be sure to become
a proactive member of your family, of yourgroup(s) of friends
and acquaintances. Dontever criticize them: remind them and
othersof their positive virtues when they are criti-cized. If a
good relationship with God is avalue for you then you should take
the timeto show up at the religious services of yourchurch,
synagogue, temple, or mosque to getacquainted with its sacred
writings and tra-ditions, and to familiarize yourself with
itsdoctrine and moral code. If chastity/purity
is a desired value for you, make sure youveput together a short
list of dos and donts
to guide you in dating and during your en-gagement. Make sure
your date/your fiancrespects those dos and donts because, ifnot,
you yourself are not being respectedand it will put a great strain
on your rela-tionship. If youre on a date and your com-panion
doesnt respect your values, youmight want to take the necessary
time torethink your relationship.
After having chosen the three, four or morevalues that are
particularly important foryou, grade those values on a scale of one
toten by deciding which of the values is mostimportant to you,
which is the second mostdesirable value for you, which is the
thirdand so on. Begin to live those values thatyou personally and
without pressure from
others have chosen by cultivating themcome hell or high water.
Also, dont substi-tute a higher value with a lower one
therebymaking you less than who you are called tobe! Become a
person of values, a valuableperson. Become a value for everyone
whobumps into you, for anyone lucky enough toget to knowyou! Be the
up-til-now hid-den treasure,
the pearl ofgreat price!
VALUES
College
Notes
fromNoble Wolf
February 2012
Fr. Adolph Menendez, s.x.
Emily Stout, Poetess
Global Youth Mission Services
101 Summer Street, P.O. Box 5857
Holliston, MA 01746
[email protected]
