2GEDA 4EVA (MARRIAGE & RELATIONSHIP)

Appreciation

I thank you for inviting me to speak to you on this germane and all important topic – together forever.

Departure

The creator gave the frameworkMt 19: - 4-6Let no one put asunder

Proximate potential sources of asunder

Both Parties Third party

Relationship goes on in stages until it graduates to marriage. It is subsequently managed

Stages in relationship:

Acquaintance / dating Closeness Intimacy/

courtship/engagement Marriage

What is dating?

Burgress and Wallin sees dating as a “social engagement of a man and a woman which is for the enjoyment of each other’s company and involves no matrimonial commitment”

J. R. Cavanagh sees it as “ the infrequent spending of time together for the purpose of companionship, getting acquainted, and the pleasure of the moment, usually without any present intention of marriage

Characteristics of acquaintance /dating

No emotional attachment Casual friendship Just enjoying companionship No jealousy/rivalry Non-exclusive No sharing of secrets Open place dating

Closeness

A deeper level of companionship where friends start getting interested in and closer to the other party. A stage of higher degree of proximity and togetherness.

Characteristics Of Closeness Higher degree of affinity Still has no-go-areas Stage of sharing general

issues – family, school, office, daily events etc

ADVANTAGES OF DATING

Social interaction Personal development Mature understanding of the

opposite sex Satisfaction of the human

need for love Selection of future partner Spiritual growth and

development

ADVANTAGES OF COURTSHIP

Social security Sense of belonging and self

worth Development of human

relations skills Cost-savings

DANGERS OF COURTSHIP

Loss of personal identity It tends to become a habit Pre-marital pregnancy/early

marriage Pre-marital sex Abortion

DONTS IN COURTSHIP/DATING

Kissing and heavy hanging Sleeping together on the

same bed Sexual intercourse

HOW TO MAINTAIN PRE-MARITAL CHASTITY

Positive feeling of self worth Have moral code and discuss Avoid situations that stimulate sexual

pleasure Know the fact about sex Learn to control your sexual desires. Jer

9: 21 Death comes up into the soul through the window of the eyes

Real presence/Universal presence Flee…1 Cor. 6: 18 Avoid time bombs

WHEN TRAPPED?

Accept your mistake Reconcile Self forgiveness Flee

MATE SELECTION Key to healthy marriage is to keep your

eyes wide open before you look and half closed thereafter

Pray; pray again Set criteria-story of my son Compatibility: The ability of two objects

or individuals to unite in such a way that there would be little or no friction in the union. Check age, religion, personality, health, education.

MARRIAGE MAINTENANCE Find below some of the

things that help is maintaining the love in your marriage:

Pray together always The closer a man and his wife

get to Christ, the clearer they see how important it is for them to stay close to each other.

Daily prayer diminishes your cares

Give your troubles to God, He will be up all night afterall

Communicate:

A happy marriage is a long conversation that always seems too short

Verbal communication Discuss as a family Learn to say I am sorry Do not just talk about others,

talk about yourselves

Communication Continues

Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless

Ninety percent of the friction of daily life is caused by the wrong tone of voice

I love you – a magic statement

NON VERBAL

Body language at all times Be a good listener

Appreciate one another

Reduce the use of “I”. Everyone has an invisible sign hanging from the neck saying “make me feel important”

Enjoy each other sexually

Make every sexual session a memorable one.

Things to do to enjoy good sex:

Develop close relationship Be clean and neat Spend time in love play

before sex Aim to reach orgasm

together Choose comfortable positions Care for your partner. Know

your cycle Be faithful to your partner

Serve one another

The great thing about being married a long time is falling in love with the same person again and again

Spouse who pet their partners first have marriages that last

Best friends make best partners

ISSUES

Bath together Beware of master bedroom Be fond of each other Personal greeting ritual Be the first to forgive Manage family financial

obligations jointly

CAUSES OF FINANCIAL PROBLEMS

Lack of prudence in spending Lack of budgeting Not placing needs above wants Not planning within your income.

MODELS FOR FAMILY MONEY MANAGEMENT

1ST: The wife’s money as emergency fund

2ND: The wife’s money for her needs

3RD: The shared economy system 4TH: The pooled or mixed economy 5TH: The fifty-fifty system

Be open to change

The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with the personality but must live with a character-Peter Devries

Success in marriage is more than finding the right person. It is also a matter of being the right person

Handle your problems together

No marriage is all sunshine, but two people can share one umbrella if they huddle close – Nancy L. V. Pelt

The difference between smooth sailing and shipwreck in marriage lies in what you as a couple are doing about the rough weather

Law of departure. .

Gen: 2 23 to 24: - “A man leaves and cleaves”

Build and break alliances

Plan your family size “If there are reasonable grounds for

spacing births, arising from physical or psychological conditions of husband or wife, or from external circumstances, the church teaches that the married couple may take advantage of the natural cycles immanent in the reproductive system and use their marriage at precisely those times that are infertile, and in this way control birth”

Keep good company

Bad pieces of advice could ruin a happy marriage: 2nd Sam 13 1-6 (Amnon and Tamar)

Friendship is the marriage of the souls

Keep your promises

Learn to laugh

Laughter is to life what shock absorbers are to auto mobiles. It wont take the pot-holes out of road but it sure makes the ride smoother

Child Upbringing