OJ:)<::

'"<Ii;",:

IQ)

'".cu:E>-

..Q

.80.c-:l.

*

in a signed statementname on

House.

pre:sident & treasurer.statements due.

creljentJials ob­continued on page 3

bad,ground ofhave

the introduction of

Thnetable

ology of the Calrib[,ea:n.Daniel Kevles is a hUlnallitites

professor whose soundmore like those otherscience professor. He rec:ei,red hisbachelor's in andthen went on toin history, and now is a historianof science.

He

The staff of the Tech will meet this afternoon in127 of at 12: 15PM. All persons interested in

V""."",,,", news photography, or even are to

a stock market analyst:look back at simi­

past in order topredictions about the

and that is exactly what hedo.

Wed. Jan 13Jan

Fri.Tues. JanWed. Jan 27Tues. Feb 2Fri. 5Tues. Feb 9Fri. Feb 19

*Offices on the general ballot: VP/BOC Chainnan, Secretary, me Chairman, Upperclass Director-at-Large, Fresh­man Director-at-Large, Director of Social Activities,Athletic Chairman, Activities Chairman, BOe Secretary,andCalifornia Tech Editors. A description of aU these offices can be found in the little I. If you have any questions,contact Jeff Tekanic at x6236.

is an element of luck inmaking pn:di(:tioifis, but so far hehas been successful, includ-ing a aboutNovember's Valley

forstudying a string of

nearin central

California and res,eat~ching the ge-

ba(:kgroumd in these fields to doneural networks. He

is among many scientists trying tomake computers more human-like.

The L.A. Times Magazine men­tions that he has "shown that com­puters can detect - and makeallowances for - incorrect words ornumbers humans."Computers that can on theirown, make own decisions,and their own COllCllllsilcmsobviously unlimited pOl:enltialin today's world.

a geollogy

1152 and 1197 by Countsand Henry II of Champagne,Marie ofChampagne. He has beeninvolved in studies of cor­respondence between thetragic 12th lovers, Heloiseand Abelard, thatAbelard wrote asa

rences tothe future.

One area of research heis entails

faults (theSan paliicular) and10olkil1lg at the layers toget records of ancient seismic ac­tivity. "When you're dealing withan event that has periods muchlonger than man's ability to recordthe event, you need a way to ex­tend your " Sieh pointedout.

He continuedanalogy between his

members andcomparison,were eachone

melnbe:r, and no other collegl;s

four Caltec:hone IPL em]:>lO)lee.UCLA

AccOl'dirlg to the Times Maga­zine article, work may eventu­ally answer questions such as howbees can lead others and how hom­

pig;eOlls find home.Hopfield, a professor of

chl:mistry and biology, is using his

rep,resent:atio,n at alLassociate

of geobiology, men­that he was "surprised" to be

chosen. His work involves "aninlalHe has

proven that animals tothus all()w:ing them

to use the earth's to

me:mbl:r of boarddJrectors Caltech Associ-

Friends andassociates of raisedremainder of the money to endowthe chair.

A medieval,scholar, Benton was recipientin 1985 of a Prize Fel-lowship for five years. He has alsoheld Guggenheim andFellowships. He has madelines for his work with image­processing techniquesfor space explorationJet Propulsion Laboratory, usingthem to read ancient, medieval,and modern manuscripts in whichthe writing had been erased ordamaged, or faded.

Some of his most recenthas included searching the archivesof France for, and then editing,some 750 issued between

on concrete systemswhich resolve the problems. Forexample, the Chan report's30-40-50 plan has been accepted bythe faculty board. Its implementa­tion, however, is hampered by thedifficulty of reducing specific op­tion requirements.

There will be a meeting inMOSH's office at 8:00PM on Wed.Jan 20 to discuss the S/FC. Thecommittees will continue to workto implement their recommen-

Ian DnttonSunday,

Angeles Timesfront page feature, for 1988:

Stars Who Will Make aDil'feren(:e in L.A. This Year." Thenames of the select-ed not in everySouthern Californian household,"but the chosen are betsto be in their inthe COlnInlg c,~nl!l1rv

opposethe racqm:tb.ill courts,as Atlle1t:tlc Fa-cilities COmIlllittee. thereare thatare more than the com-

of students are1986 Conference. In particluarCurriculum Reformfinds that ofthat have ide:ntifiedpn:vil)US conference •"'!J'V"".

committees are still

Other student inte~rests

fall in the ofcerns. The StudentReforn1 Committee is attl:mj)tirlgidentiJrv prob'lenls in the

-John F. "'<O'lUV'",at '-'<an",'"",

DorisProfessor of by the

Caltech Board of Trustees.alllloul11cing the appointlnent,

£"_,,,_ .. 1.. Thomas E.Everhart said, "The Doris and Hen-

Theference was cancelled due a ofsuitable according .toConference BibiIentoft-Nielsen and Bruning.

The committees created for theconference (Art Gallery, AthleticFacilities, Freshman Admissions,Curriculum Reform, Housing,Non-Science Curriculum, Stu­dent/Faculty Relations and StudentGovernment will con-tinued to Brun-

and Ientoft-Nielsen, along withof Lorden,

de(:id~:d the re-committees

could without callingthe entire faculty and student bodytogether.

Many of the committee recom­mendations were not controversial

to bring to the conference.For nobody aresitru(:turing of theing situation the access­ability of student spaces. Howe'ver.most of the which are be-

The Dreyfuss Professorshipwas initiated in 1977 by a bequest

the estate of the late Doris andDr,cvfuss of South Pasade­

an int(;rn~ltionally

indlustrial designer, was ame:mbl~r of the Caltech Board ofl'rulst~es from 1963 until his death

was an associate

student re~,re~;enitation. Ho'we,rer,fewand theU'l":m;;"" to examine the r)f()bl~:m.

of the concernsthose of the

the

memory ofbelieved deeply in hmnarllstic

education. In John Bentonone of the world's leading scholarsin medieval history, and also a manwhose breadth of interests makes

a humanist in the finest sense."

to the editors---2THE CALIFORNIA TECH

Food Committee Criticizedby Former Food Rep

FRI DAY 1 5 JAN UARY 1 988

ASCrr Minutes WPM 12 Jan 1988.1. Thu says: there is money

available to be spent on... some­thing. She suggests the purchase ofa Chevy 12 passenger van with airconditioning, tinted glasses, a 32gallon gas tank, and automaticshifting. Price: $14,180+tx. & lc.Fuzzy dice and radio are extra.Amazing Jeff says that it's up to thenext BOD. Thu will make the costestimates anyway.

2. Installations are moved to the19th at the Ath.

3. The jazz band suggests thatASCIT buy a P.A. system.

4. Amazing Jeff opens the mailand says: he needs to nominatepeople for the Gnome Club. He de­cides to nominate the ASCIT BODseniors.

5. There will be an OM to dis­cuss a replacement for the TQFRon Thurs. at 7:30PM [yesterday-Eds].

ASCIT Minutes

From the Makersof Triple Hot FudgeChocolate Decadence:

Sincerely,Steve Lodge

Former Food Service Rep.

started having the second stringcooks do the preparations. The ad­ministrative duties requires Gary'stime, while the catering businessand Chandler preoccupies the firststring cooks. Only by knowingwhat is different about the food orit's taste, can anything be done toimprove it.

What else can we do? If thereis a personal dietary need, go talkto Gary instead of suffering or noteating. He is supposed to accom­modate everyone's needs (withinreason). Also, it is important to beunderstanding. After all, it wouldnot be good to push B.C. so far thatthey leave midyear because theyfeel unwelcome.

In the early 1970's one of thefood services did just up and quit.In fact, just last year Gary was hav­ing a problem with being misbilledby Housing coupled with too fewof people on dinner board andalmost quit.

Nancy did request that all copies ofthe documentation be given to herso that she could give it to PhilHolden, the Servomation director.)Another police role played by thecommittee is to insure the healthcodes are obeyed.

If "stuff' appears in the food,the food committee should be in­formed. Furthermore, if Garychanges brands on an item, sayfrench fries, and the students do notlike it as well, then the food com­mittee can insist that the brand bechanged back.

If the food quality drops, it doesno one any good to complain "Yuk.The food is horrible!". Instead,specific comments are needed. Forexample, the pizzas that Gary madehimself when B.C. first arrivedhere were highly popular. A fewmonths later, they were being usedby the hockey players. Theproblem was (is) that the the piz­zas were being overcooked. Also,the cheese sauce was changed. Ifyou go behind to the oven are, onecan find the underlying cause.

Gary and the main chefs had

dog over the food service. Thehouse food reps are being paid thisyear in an effort to increase atten­dance. However, a body is no goodwithout a mind to guide it. Most ofthe food reps are mindless soulswho do not know what to say at themeetings because they are unsureof how their house feels.

The food committee has theability to design the menus (withincertain limitations of course). Inaddition, it is their responsibility tosupervise the quality of the food.Servomation, for example, was us­ing Commercial Grade meat, i.e.cat food, for our steaks andmarinating them for a week.

The Food Committee wasresponsible for forcing a change af­ter the Housing Office Director re­fused to take any action other thanchastising the students whoproduced the evidence (although,

letter

To the Editors:The IHC this week recom­

mended to not go out for bids onnext year's food service.

For most students, the foodservice question has either been ig­nored or taken as an opportunity torag on Burger Continental. An un­derstanding of why the IHC decid­ed to stick with Gary can begleaned from examining the histo­ry of the food service.

When Caltech got rid of Servo­mation, the Food Committee real­ized that we could not continuechanging food services every threeyears. The decision was made tofind one that we would and couldwork with when problems arose.The appropriate question, there­fore, is what we can do to improvethe quality of the food.

The Food Committee wascreated to be the students' watch-

1--

I opinion 1

Apathy in the Ivory Towerimmune to the charge of "stagnan­cy." After reading the offendingletter, several students commentedthat such a charge was unfair andthat they would reply in the Tech.The Tech did not receive a singleletter. If students cannot reply to acharge (an injustice in their opin­ion) that concerns them directly,how can they be expected torespond to· issues of broaderimpact?

Caltech students seem to enjoyusing their extra time and energyto perform RF's. Often, they areelegant and amusing, such aschanging the Hollywood ;sign.Sometimes, however, they are des-

. tructive and dangerous, such asthrowing shopping carts off of aroof. Extra time and energy needsto be expended on more produc­tive, goal-oriented activities.

If Caltech students have deve­loped an image of being one­dimensional, it is because theyhave, in part, earned it. Should stu­dents desire to shed that 'image,they must show that they are in­terested in a broad range of issues,some of which extend even beyondthe limits of this campus.,. -- -- -- ---- .,1 RagTime I• On Greentf RESALE CLOTHING t1 wJ~EN It M-Thurs. 16-5, F-Sat 1&03 t4 (818)796-9924 •.. ) 136 E. Green St., Pasadena •..-----------.,

Volume LXXXIX • Number 1215 January 1987

BUSINESSJonathan Chow

CIRCULATIONMichael KeatingGavin Claypool

ISSN 0008-1582

Subscription requests should be directed to the businessmanager. Rates are $3.00 per tenn, $8.00 per annum(three terms). $100 per life.

Printed by News-Type Service, Glendale, California

THE CALIFORNIA TECH25-58 SAC

California Institute of TechnologyPasadena, California 91125

Phone: (818) 356-6154Published weekly except duringexamination and vacation periods byAssociated Students of the CaliforniaInstitute of Technology, Inc. Theopinions expressed herein are strictlythose of the authors .Letters and announcements arewelcome. All contributions shouldinclude the author's name and phonenumber and the intended date ofpublication. The Editors reserve theright to abridge and edit letters for ex­pediency, literacy, or other.Turn in copy (preferably on an mM­compatible, WordStar-formattedfloppy disk) to the Tech office mail­box, room 107 Winnett. The dead­line for copy is Wednesday at 5PM;for announcements, Tuesday at 5PM.Late copy may not be printed evenif prior arrangements have been madewith the editors.

PRODUCTIONNick Smith

THE CALIFORNIA TECH

EDITORSTy1is Chang. Eric Fung

Stephen LewENTERTAINMENT

Alecia ChenSPORTS

Susan SchimaPHOTOS

Michael KeatingANNOUNCEMENTS

Josh KurutzREPORTERS

Drew Bailey • Dwight BergIan Dutton • Brian HayesHuck Seed • Nick Smith

PHOTOGRAPHERSTheresa Griffie • Marc Labgold

THE INSIDE WORLDBlacker: Marty O'Brien

Dabney: Al PetersonFleming: John Derek Woolverton

"UKJ HI"Lloyd: Chris Nolle

Ricketts: Brian Chizever andGary Ludlam

PASADEIIA SCIEIITIFICI TECHILICIL BOOIS

WI ,,.. SdIIIr/J , ''''lSsitJuI ",is i.:ENGINElIlNG • HANDIOOKS • SCIENCES - MATHAEIOSPACE • COMPUTERS • BUSINESS· CODES

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work they must do. The typicalBerkeley student takes four class­es, while the typical Caltech stu­dent takes five (if not six).

Students must evaluate theirpriorities. If energy and time arenot left after fulfilling certainduties, they can not be reasonablyexpected to pursue other activitieswith the ardor that Battaglia sug­gests Berkeley students do.

On the other hand, Caltech stu­dents should not feel that they are

7 :30 & 10:00 pm$1.50 for others

Yet, it appears that there is sometruth to both impressions.

Caltech cannot be fairly com­pared with Berkeley in terms of so­cial activism or whatnot. First,Berkeley is some 15 times as largeas Caltech. The contrast speaks foritself, so I do not think I need toexpound on the drastic unfairnessof the comparison in this respect.

Another striking difference be­tween the students of Berkeley andthose of Caltech is the amount of

ONE CRAZYSUMMER

by Eric Fung

NEXT WEEK: Home of the Brave

BAXTER LECTURE HALL$1 for ASCIT members

ASCIT FRIDAY NIGHT MOVIE

Impressions are often mislead­ing. When Mr. Battaglia chargedthat the students at Caltech have a"lack of social and political depth,"[Tech, Jan. 8] he seemed to havebased his opinion on a rather su­perficial glance. In a similarfashion, many students, upon read­ing his letter, felt indignant thatsuch a "false, uneducated" labelcould be used to describe them.

Eric is wrong, or

Do Students Really Care?by Tylis Chang and a desire for just treatment. would not offset the apathy ot

One of the most amazing Why, then, can't we aspire above another. It is each individual whichaspects of Caltech is the success of this level in all aspects of our lives? is ultimately responsible.the honor system. Though it has My colleague, Eric Fung, con- Now someone will read thissuffered periods of uncertainty in tends that there are fundamental and say, "If he believes that therethe past, it remains remarkably differences between the students of are less apathetic people at Ber­healthy today. It has' been, and Berkeley and those of Tech. Ber- keley than there are at Tech, thenshould be, our greatest accomplish- keley has so many more students he is clearly full of lime jello." Butment, higher than any prize or and so much less work. Addition- again, this misses the point. Apa­scientific award which we will ever ally, our northern neighbors are thy at Berkeley is totally irrelevant.earn. less concerned with elegant tech- We at Tech are not in a competi-

Unfortunately, we often forget nical pranks and their priorities are tion with other schools or withthe principle upon which the honor not as directed in the sciences. other people. We are in competi-system is based. The honor system Yet this misses the real point tion with ourselves.exists because we believe that we, about Tech and student apathy. The The question of apathy is not:as a community, can aspire to a po- least common denominator theory "Is Caltech more apathetic thansition higher than lowest common does not concern itself with the Berkeley?" Instead, the questiondenominator. That is, we can go sum total actions of the whole com- which we must continuously con­beyond the lowest common munity. It is a theory which deals front is: "Am I, as an individual,denominator which defines civili- with individuals. Ifwe believe that aspiring above the least commonzation's laws and binds the rest of we can go beyond the least com- denominator?" This is the questionthe human population. mon denominator, then we, too, which will ultimately define the

Caltech's law, the honor sys- must deal with individuals. The difference between humanity and atern, is based upon a mutual trust sterling behavior of a few people simple bunch of human beings.

Hyperspace Revisited:A Techer's Hardware Adventure

THE CALIFORNIA TECH

I entertainment I

Watch Bergman's Strawberries

3. The Deans want nominationsfor Noland LeadershipScholarships.

4. S/FC is dead. Look fordetails in next week's Tech.

5. Discobolus track scoringchanged from 5-3-2-1 to 5-3-1.

6. Amazing Jeff says...a. TQFR meeting will be on

Thurs. [yesterday -Eds).b. Presidents should announce

Elections [see front page).

7. After boat-loads of discus­sion on food, the IHC votes to staywith Gary 7-0-0. They also vote4-2-1 to tell the "powers-that-be" tolook into a Caltech run foodservice.

8. Official ultimate rules arecoming (maybe next year).

9. Yet another ultimate rulechange: Both offense and defensemust freeze on a foul. Passes 7-0-0.

10. Brian still wants colorphotos [lest we have a Fleming­only Big T -Eds).

cont.propriate that we have so manyfaculty members on this list com­pared to other schools. It reallymakes a statement about the quali­ty of the professors and research­ers," he stated. He made particularnote that every one of the scientistslisted were from Caltech/JPL.

Dr. Everhart also attributedCaltech's good representation onthe fact that Caltech choosesfaculty with innovative researchideas. The institute gives its facultyopportunity to work in new ex­perimental fields, such as super­strings and neural networks, andthus quickly takes the lead.

This article by the L.A. TimesMagazine underscores the fact thatCaltech is still a leader in scienceand emphasizes that Tech's H/SSdepartment is of equal caliber. Italso points out that this will con­tinue as the next century ap­proaches. All of these people havetaken the initiative to become theleaders in their respective fields,and they and others like themdeserve the respect paid to them bythe L.A. Times Magazine.

IHC Minutes IOPM 13 Jan 1988.1. An ultimate rule change: If

the whistle is blown while thefrisbee is in the air, the play endswhen the frisbee is either caught ortouches the ground. Motion passes6-0-0.

2. Conrad's Cornera. Worm (the loud, striped,

short-legged cat) was given to theanimal shelter. If she is not claim­ed within the week, she will be putto sleep.

b. The post lights near theorange walk have been smashedtwice. Before they are replacedagain, P-plant would like to knowif the lights bother anyone.

c. Four houses have not hadtheir second term room-picks. TheMaSH's office would like themdone ASAP.

d. Cars at the Constance andLura houses need to be claimed[Mitch?].

e. Please give the MaSH's of­fice two weeks notice on parties.

IHC Mini-Minutes

viously merit his inclusion amongthe 88, he himself admits that therewas an element of luck involved.Dr. Kevles pointed out that in theH/SS department here, many otherfaculty members are involved in .major works that deserve the samekind of mention that he received;in particular he mentioned currentprojects by John Sutherland, Jen­nijoy La Belle, Eleanor Searle, andRobert Rosenstone.

Charles Eliachi is in charge ofspace/science research at JPL. Hisimaging radar system gives spaceshuttle astronauts vision that canpenetrate layers of clouds, andeven the topsoil of arid regions.The article mentions that his plansinclude using such technology to"learn about global phenomena" aspart of a study on the Earth's eco­logical system.

Caltech president Dr. ThomasEverhart was obviously proudabout the inclusion of so manyCaltech faculty members, but didn'tseem at all surprised. "It seems ap-

from page 1

robot. The good guys are out tofind out the great discovery thatcost the life of the heroine's father,and the bad guys are out to makea fast buck at the expense of theuniverse. The characters are good,except for, perhaps, the flaw thatsome of them are a little too gung­ho to advance the boundaries ofknowledge without living throughthe experience themselves. I havenever met a scientist who didn'twant to be around to gloat a littleover a major discovery, yet thereis a fine line between noble sa­crifice and suicide.

When you pick up the book,there is a big disk-shaped city onthe front cover. The thing that it isorbiting is a neutron star.McDonough uses a little hand­waving to handle one of the alientechnologies that permits this, butit is necessary to the plot, and thestory is worth more than such aminor quibble.

Overall, The Architects ofHyperspace is worth picking upand reading if you are into hard­ware adventure SF.

Isak is telling his story like aconfession. During the film, we seehis realization and acknowledg­ment of guilt and his small, butsincere attempts at penance.

Isak tries to tell his son to forgeta loan which has become a symbolof hatred between them, but ismisunderstood. He also tries toconvince his faithful housekeeperof 30 years to use the familiar formof address, but is rebuffed. Onlyhis Marianne seems to notice andforgive the old man.

Isak has forgiven himself tosome extent. In his last dream, hevisits his dead mother and father ina beautiful bright remembrance oftheir old home in peace andserenity.

Wild Strawberries is one ofBergman's great masterpieces, anexistentialist study of lonelinessand the shear difficulty of living.Although sombre in tone it is abeautifully lyric film which doesnot condemn us to lives of coldnessand loneliness, but rather asks usto consider the world as part of usnot to be shut out withoutconsequences.

Wild Strawberries will beshown Saturday in Baxter LectureHall at 7:30PM and 9:30PM.

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a rousing adventurous SF novelfrom the tradition of the old storiesin Analog, but without some of theoverwhelming Earth-is-the-center­of-the-universe attitude that some­times spewed ou.t of the JohnCampbell-edited magazines.

In The Architects of Hyper­space, McDonough postulates a fu­ture in which mankind hasjourneyed out into interstellar spacewithout encountering any real signsof other space-faring species. Fi­nally, an exploring ship finds an ar­tifact ... and it is BIG! If youenjoyed figuring out the orbitalmechanics of Niven's Ringworld,you'll love this one!

Because McDonough did notwant to be accused of SF pseudo­science, he added a technical after­word about the more bizarreaspects of the novel. All I can saywithout giving away some goodsurprises is ... it looks like itworks, but it is strange.

Anyway, because it is adven­ture SF, the novel includes a heroand a heroine, some requisite badguys, and even a comic-relief

lead us to a fourth. It is Isak'sanalysis of his own life, Bergman'sanalysis ofIsak Borg, our analysisof the previous two that may leadus to analyze our own lives in anew light. Through Bergman'sdirection and choice of images wecan discern his analysis.

Because we are not strictlyperceiving the world through Isak'sremembrances, we see how hechanges during the course of thefilm. His view of the world andthose around him undergoes a pro­found adjustment.

Isak spent his life isolated fromother people in the self-centered,secure world of the scientist. Dur­ing a drive in his hearse-like car,he journeys through personal timeas well as space.

Through his dreams andreminiscences it becomes clear Isakhas not lived and is now worriedabout death. He has merely ex­isted, alienated from those nearesthim in fear of the pain that realcloseness can bring.

Isak looks back on his life withregret. His life was filled withmissed opportunities for living. Herealizes from his daughter-in-law,Marianne, that he has perpetuatedthis coldness in his bitter son.

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by Drew BaileyWild Strawberries is an Ingmar

Bergman's poetic film of selfdiscovery. In a limited sense, WildStrawberries is the story of one dayin the life ofIsak Borg, a 78 yearold physician traveling by car withhis daughter-in-law on his way toreceive an honorary doctorate inLund.

The film begins by Isak in­troducing himself and telling us hewill relate what he remembers ashonestly as he can. We then seeand hear his story as if he were liv­ing it. Isak's dreams and visions onthat day are revealed.

Bergman was influenced by theSwedish playwright August Strind­berg's stream of consciousnesswork A Dream Play. WildStrawberries has often been com­pared to the stream of con­sciousness novels of James Joyceand Marcel Proust.

The transitions between the realworld and Isak's mind are simplecuts. There is no assumption ofwhich world is more real. Eachmoment of the present is intimate­ly connected with the past or theimagination.

Wild Strawberries is a confla­tion of three analyses which might

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The Architects of Hyperspaceby Thomas McDonoughAvon Books, 2.95

For nearly fifty years, Caltechalumni, staff and faculty have beenboth fans and authors of sciencefiction. The following writers wereundergraduates at Caltech: L.Sprague De Camp, Larry Nivenand David Brin. Several lessfamiliar names were also onceTechers. Now, another name hasbeen added to the list: ThomasMcDonough. An engineering lec­turer for the last several years, hehas recently published his firstscience fiction novel, and it's agood one. .

The Architects ofHyperspace IS

4!..,HE CALIFORNIA TECH FRIDAY 15 JANUARY 1988

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from page 3

-Turtle

thanks, Humphreys.

A sports flash: Fleming Ultima and Waterpolo studs DESTROYED theilly boys, and should crush all other upcoming opposition.chanting is heard in the distance, at first just a red blotch is seen on the horizon. But slowly the noise and

continued on page 7

Ok. So it begins. And what a beginning it is. Was. Rule 67(b)(iii) specifi­cally prohibits Inside World Writers from mentioning roompicks. So I won't.But they happened. I was happy. PJS was happy. Golda was happy. Golda'sdog was happy. Everyone else got screwed. The roompick was a success.

The X-Com had an X-Commune. Everyone was invited. A persistent rumorthat initializations were to be immediately after the meeting did not fail notto be. It is decided to hold them tomorrow (you, the reader's tomorrow (doesanybody actually read this stufn), not me, the writer's tomorrow, or they, theX-Corn's tomorrow). Creeping in this petty pace from day to day, it becomesanother week, and we erect a new X-Com. R, L. what does it matter, so longas the L is not on the R (or else elbows might bump while eating). Where doyou put your elbows during group sex, anyway? Be good to find out-the daysare returning. Remember in the playpens with the mole, the frophior, and acertain scribe? Ask the Flems who had their windows open. Better yet, askthem about the subject in general- they must be authorities; the goings-on thatI catch glimpses of in their "lounge" put the initiation of the playpens (threeyears ago, ask a certain Scurve) to shame.

The hot tub grew new forms of life over the holidays. It's thought that theDefense Department, already on our case for building nuclear weapons withouta license, might get annoyed about our germ warfare. Somebody finally askedabout the metal band on the palm tree, I'm so happy. There's hope for themfrosh yet. (That particular frosh has been made exempt from execution tomor­row, but that's another story.)

Hzatz dounds dike dis beguz he haz a code. When he sounds like anythingat all. It's going around, so stay straight. Schen's fan club is having incrediblesuccess, but I won't really believe in her until you can get here for a party.(Anybody who can fit on a screen with Arnold Schwartzenwhatsisname mustbe pretty small if they're there at all.)

Nothing much happened in Dabney last week.

Dabney: You better watch out, better not cry,Better not shout, I'm tellin' you why:init(frosh)

Blacker:The following has been reprinted and edited shamelessly without per­mission.

The Stupid EssayA Question that has never been answered: Why is it that Hawaiians always

add" ... , yeah?" to the end of any question? Example: "We go to Beef Bowl,yeah?"

A Question I thought I'd answer (or at least comment on). This summerwhen I was on the other coast (East), I kept seeing little town cemeteries. Iasked myself, "Why is it that in Southern California you never see cemeteriesexcept for the enormous Forest Lawn Cemeteries off the 110 freeway?" It oc­cured to me, that we Social-like peoples are afraid of the possibility of beingmortal. To extend this thought, we ought to lay little stones in our courtyardin rememberance of those who have passed on due to excessive academic fric­tion or those who we want future generations to remember.

I remember a time when moles were happy enough to be apathetic and didn'tput on airs to impress other houses. Politics with other houses was practicallynon-existent and cliques ran wild. All these things have changed.

What does it mean when two people from the same dinner party get thesame fortune in a Chinese resteraunt? Does it mean the same if it's a Bazookabubble gum wrapper?

As the air bands set up their equipment in the lounge, and strains of "Raid­ers of the Lost Ark" emanate from D.C.'s lips, I wonder once again if we willever be able to eat lunch in the courtyard after it's all over (or does it everreallv end?).

To put all of these thoughts in perspective I'll tell you about something thathappened to me. So like, I was piddling along on my stupid little track oneday last week, worrying my toes off about my own troubles, when BANG!The music changed from rock to romantic and the lights dimmed slightly. Dis­oriented, I wondered if my brain was still plugged in. I looked around for aclue from my other clueless companions. Then all of a sudden I knew. I real­ized that, in fact, my whole life was a sham and that I was merely an extrain the Mark and Alice movie.

The Inside World

- P. S. Eau de Nym

The term from Purgatory begins. The New Rules of the Inside World Gameare:

1. No more DabniCorp®. The Adventures of Patrick J. Wayne in the 21 stCentury are now defunct.

2. No more hassling the nice folks in West Five, even if they deserve it.(Well, unless they really deserve it.)

3. No more "gaming clique" inside references unless I feel like it.4. Never shall it be said that "Ditch Day is tomorrow:" The paper comes

out on Friday, and have a clue. Do you think we'd waste a perfectly goodweekend to do strange things? Anyway, I lost the election, so I don't have aclue when Ditch Day is. Maybe they won't even have one. I don't know.

5. Impressionism and W.S. (the editors, weenies that they be, won't printthe actual words) are encouraged.

Fleming: from the journal of UN] #1:Yet another attempt to fill the void known as the Mighty Fleming Inside

World!!! Where Neander-bum and others have failed, the mighty junior inthe god awesome hat shall succeed. And if nothing else, it'll keep me fromfinishing my frosh humanities.

Fleming continues to be the best place on campus to live, for what littletime I spend in it, but it is my house. The sophomores are trying to teach thefrosh what it means to live in Fleming, but seem to end up all wet for the ef­fort. Keep trying guys. The frosh though, seem quite able to keep each otherhappy. Maybe the ride will come early this term to Fleming house?

The mighty Coke empire lives! For those of you who are watching yourcalories, but just can't decide on what kind of diet soda to drink, try the newdiet random slot downstairs market Weird diet. With over seven different dietsodas, you're sure to get a surprise every time, but I promise no Diet Choco­late Fudge. Also, coming SOOOON to a coke machine near you (in Fleminghouse of course), is a secret black box that will change the way you buy cokeforever. More details to follow.

Everyone get out for the Alumni Phone Drive. 50 people=$I000. Freebeer and pizza for a few hours on the phone. Call up old Flems, call up newFlems, who's going to call Eggleston? Oh yes, and you get a T-shirt-did any­one see what it said?

Random related fact: Farrukh is a spaz.Random unrelated fact: The Prez. doesn't like small diced toes, frozen in

liquid nitrogen, on wooden sticks. (Any more specific details unavailable un­er terms of a certain death threat.)

Fleming sports motto for the day:"Beaver Fever-Snatch it!"

THE CALIFORNIA TECH FRIDAY 15 JANUARY 19885

what goes on Ifrom page 8

Career Discussion ProgramThe Caltech Gnome Club (an alumni

group for service to the Caitech communi­ty), assisted by the Caitech Alumni Associ­ation, will sponsor a unique on-campuscareer discussion program.

A typical career discussion includes afew Caltech alumni in a particular field.Each speaks on their career and how theygot there. A discussion follows which fo­cuses on the transition from Caltech life tothe outside world, the selection of a careerfield, opportunities and difficulties of theparticular field, etc. The students are en­couraged to ask questions of any and allsorts.

The program this year includes 4 discus­sions, which will be held at 7:30 pm on thefollowing Tuesday evenings in Room 13 ofthe Student Activities Center (under theSouth Houses).

January 19-Caltech Alumni in theSpace Program.

February 16-Communications (TV,film, writing)

April 5- RoboticsMay 3- Government, Law and PoliticsComplimentary beer, soft drinks and

snacks will be provided.

Wine, Women and Song!The Women's Glee Club is beginning re­

hearsals in preparation for their spring tourto the nrothern California wine country,March 23-27. Rehearsals are in SAC Rm.I on Mondays from 7:30-9:30 pm and Wed­nesdays from 5:00-6:00 pm. Since we'relearning new music this term, we're invit­ing new singers to join us. For further in­formation call Ann Lewis, 577-7664;Rachel Clark, x3761, or Leslie McCaffree,x6172. All members of the Caltech commu­nity are welcome.

Ski Jackson HoleIf you're really into both spring breaks

and skiing, take advantage of"the most com­prehensive spring break package everoffered for ski buffs," The Busch SpringRendezvous at Jackson Hole, scheduled forMarch 14-26. Daily activities, at no extracharge, will include five types of ski races,inflatable raft races, costume contests, dancecontests, treasure hunts, fashion shows,dancing and live music. Ski activities willbe based out of the "Busch Ski Club," alarge, heated tent complete with sound sys­tem and located on the mountain. Barbecuesand other non-ski activities will be based un­der a large 5,000 square foot tent called the"Busch Bar and Grill."

Several travel agencies are offeringpackage rates for the Busch Spring Rendez­vous, including lift tickets, lodging and in­expensive caravan-type transportation by airor bus. For further information call 1-(800)262-2900.

California Ski GuideSkiers who spend the summer dreaming

of groomed slopes and winter treks into themountains will find plenty of practical anduseful information in the new California SkiGuide.

Covering the skiing areas of SouthernCalifornia, Mammoth Lakes, Central Sier­ra, Lake Tahoe, and Shasta Cascade, justabout everything the skier needs to know isfeatured in this guide. It costs $4.95 (post­paid) from High Sierra Adventures, 340 S.Webster St., Independence, CA 93526.

Wanna Choose A President?The California Democratic Party, as part

of its educational outreach program, will beholding workshops on how to become adelegate to the Democratic National Con­vention. The one closes to here will be onSaturday, Feb. 20 from 2:00-3:30 pm at theAltadena Library Community MeetingRoom, 600 E. Mariposa in Altadena (that'sa couple of blocks west of Lake).

MacValley MacUsers MacGroupThe MacValley Users Group announces

that its January general meeting will be heldTuesday, January 19, 1988 at 7:30 pm inthe cafeteria of Burbank High School at Bur­bank Blvd. and Third St. in Burbank. TheLos Angeles Fire Department Fire Educa­tion Unit will deliver a presentation on earth­quake preparedness. For further informationcontact Ruth Stever (818) 848-1277.

National Health Fed ConventionDr. Robert Mendelsohn, M.D., will be

the main speaker at the National Health Fed­eration Convention at the Pasadena Conven­tion Center on Jan. 15-17.

Marking the 33rd annual Health Conven­tion will be over 200 exhibitors, several foodpreparation demonstrations and 80 speak­ers on all areas of natural health. The mes­sages of the various speakers will pertainto alternative therapies and self-help. Includ­ed in the exhibitions will be water purifi­ers, mini-trampolines, foods and vitaminsupplements.

The Conference will take place in theExhibit Hall, the Lower Level ConferenceCenter and the Civic Auditorium of thePasadena Center. Hours are 8 am to 6 pmon Friday and Saturday, 9 am to 6 pm onSunday. Admission is $15 per day or $20for the whole weekend.

For information call (818) 793-2122.

Naval ResearchThe Research Participation Program at

the Naval Training Center (NTSC) is offer­ing postgraduates, graduates, and under­graduates opportunities to conduct hands-onresearch in advanced simulation and train­ing systems technology. Applicants for thegraduate and undergraduate appointmentsmust be currently enrolled in an academicprogram leading to a baccalaureate or ad­vanced degree in a discipline related to train­ing technology. Selection of participants isbased on academic records; recommenda­tions; scientific interests; compatibility ofthe applicant's background and interest withneeds of the research center; and the avail­ability of funds, staff, and facilities. Gradu­ate and undergraduate appointments are forthe summer, a semester, or one year, renew­able for a second term. Students may par­ticipate on a full-time (40 hours/week) orpart-time (20 hours/week) basis. For furtherinformation please contact the Financial AidOffice, 515 S. Wilson.

Money For VermontitesVermont Student Assistance Corporation

is offering a Vermont Grant for the 1988-89academic year to residents of Vermont. TheGrants can be used at colleges throughoutthe country if the college is approved by theU.S. Department of Education for partici­pation in the Student Aid Programs. The ap­plication priority date is March I, 1988. Forfurther information, please contact theFinancial Aid Office, 515 S. Wilson.

Money From The BlindThe National Federation of the Blind is

offering seven different scholarships rang­ing from $1,800 to $10,000. The scholar­ships are awarded on the basis of academicexcellence, service to the community andfinancial need. The deadline for receipt ofthe application is March 31,1988. For fur­ther information please contact the Finan­cial Aid Office, 515 S. Wilson (2nd floor).

Hunter Rouse FellowshipThe University of Iowa College of En­

gineering is sponsoring the Hunter RousePostgraduate Fellowship in Hydraulics andFluid Mechanics. Recipients must haveearned a B.S. or M.S. by the 1988 academicyear. Stop by the Career DevelopmentCenter, 08 Parsons-Gates, for more infor­mation.Summer Molecular Biology

Robert Wood Johnson Medical Schoolis sponsoring undergraduate summerresearch in molecular biology and bi­oChemistry from June 13 to August 19,1988. Application deadline is April I, 1988.Stipends: $2,000 to $2,500. On site hous­ing available.

The goal of the program is to provideundergraduates with the opportunity to per­form supervised research in molecular bi­ology and biochemistry. At the end of thesummer period each student will write aprogress report and will be presented witha certificate of having completed theprogram.

For an application form please write Dr.Masayori Inouye, Chairman, Dept. of Bi­ochemistry, UMDNJ-Robert Wood JohnsonMedical School, 675 Hoes Lane, Piscata­way, NJ 08854-5635.

Northrop FellowshipThe Northrop Corporation Fellowship

Program is sponsoring the Fellowships inElectromagnetics for 1988-89. Earn yourM.S. in Electrical Engineering from UCLA,work at Northrop full-time during the sum­mer and holidays, and half-time during theacademic year. Tuition, books and re­quired fees paid by Northrop. Salary andbenefits plus $15,000 yearly stipend. Formore information contact James B. McNee­ly, Ph.D., Northrop Corporation, CorporateCollege Relations, 30/136/52, One North­rop Avenue, Hawthorne, CA 90250. Phone:(213) 332-1514, or contact the Career De­velopment Center (Caltech x6361), 08Parsons-Gates.

a pair of turnovers which PCC con­verted into baskets, giving them a30-25 half-time advantage.

PCC scored first in the secondhalf. However, the beavers battl­ed back with a 9-2 run which in­cluded a powerful slam-dunk byBill Swanson, a lob pass from BradScott to Seed, and a three-pointshot by Scott. With the score tiedat 34, PCC then hit two straightbaskets. Caltech could not get anycloser the rest of the game. Dur-

the last minutes of thegame, PCe's court tookits toll. The defensebroke down, in PacificChristian running away with thegame in the final minutes.

Scoring for the Beavers wereSeed Swanson 10, Scott 6,Jason Adam Slovik 4,and Randy 2. Swanson ledthe team in with 11, andScott had 5 assists followedSeed and Karceski 3

CaltechconferencePomona-Pitzer. next game IS

Tuesday, January 19, at La Verne.The team needs support.Come out and have cheering onthe Caltech Basketball team!

Eam to $105 per week.University students only.Area's largest bank.Call: (213) JJJ··JL./U.

California Cryobank, Inc.208Q Park East #306Los Angeles 90067

Michael Copley and Dag Ingramuse an accordian and 20 other windinstruments to spoofmusic from Bachto Scott Joplin.

Friday, 1988 I 8 pmBeckman Au(liiorilimTickets: $17.50-15.00-12.50CIT Students:Rush Tickets (Day of Show): $6.00

Tickets available atthe Caltech TicketOffice, located just north of the Beck­man Auditorium parking lot.

team came out on top by a scoreof 6 to 3.

Be sure to visit lovely PickwickIce Arena in Burbank on Friday,January 22, at midnight as thepucksters will pirouette aroundUSC in another display of figureskating prowess.

by AI LeHoop

Despite the disappointing 62-45loss to Pacific Christian College onMonday, the Caltech Basketballteam put up a good fight to the end.The contest marked a 15th straightvictory for Pacific Christian. Theyare currently ranked 2nd among allCalifornia teams in the NAIAconference.

Dampening Caltech's perfor­mance was the extensive Christmasbreak in which no games wereplayed for over a month. Most ofCaltech's opponents took off nomore than two or three days frompractice and a week from games.As a result, Caltech slipped waybehind when they returned fromtheir vacation.

The contest was much closerthan the final score indicated, mak­

the loss all the more disappoin­The Beavers initiated the

on a basket by Huck Seed,giving them a 4-0 advantage. Forthe rest of the half, neither teamwas able to open up a larger leadthan four points, until the finalminute. At this point, PacificChristian's full court press forced

eavers Suffer efeatto fS eacons

Yayoi Izumi surges forward with powerful strokes as she competes in the but­terfly competition.

FRI DAY 1 5 JAN UARY 1 988

the 200 meter butterfly stroke in2: 15. Freshman Stipe turnedover a time of 2: for the 200meter back stroke and 59.2 secondsfor the 100 meter back stroke.Junior Brian Hayes swam the 400meter individual medley in 4:41and the 200 meter breast stroke in2:24. The 400 meter freestyle re­lay team of Stipe, Geraghty,Hayes, and freshman Ben Finleyswam a respectable race.

This week, the team resumes itstraining as it prepares for a meetwith Whittier and Pomona-Pitzerthis Saturday at Pomona. The firsthome meet for the entire team,both men and women swimmers,is Saturday, 23, againstRedlands. As always, timers areneeded and greatly appreciated forhome meets. All are welcome tocome out and cheer on the team!

After that point, Larry, Curly,and Moe took control of the game.The Beavers were awarded more"style points" for their smoothskating than for their overall per­formance. When the final gunsounded, the Irvine/Golden West

To conceal the team's stn~n.l'~th,

Caltech made some last minutechanges. For the meet,

Mark became "Clark,"Devin Leonard and Chris Edging­ton switched places, and Dave Ger­aghty was accidentally listed as aClaremont swimmer.

The fatigue caused by a weekof two workouts per day becameevident on Saturday. Many swim­mers started out their races strong­ly but lost the energy for powerfulfinishes. As a result, a good por­tion of the Caltech men were dis­appointed with their times.

Sunday's races produced betterperformances. For example, BrianShim swam the first 100 meters ofhis 200-meter breast stroke fasterthan his open meter breaststroke the day beforel

Quality individual perfor-mances were generated a num-ber of CaltechFreshman Dave Geraghty swam

disguised as referees.The action began in the open­

ing as Martine Brouillette pulledthe face-off to Dwight Berg whofed Dave Braun ice on the left side.Braun neatly fed Paul Svitek for agoal twelve seconds into the game.

HE CALIFORNIA TECH

Day Date lime Sport Opponent

Fri. 1-15 7:30 pm Basketball Pomona-Pitzer ]V CaltechSat. 1-16 10:00 am Swimming Whittier Pomona-PitzerTue. 1-19 7:30 pm Basketball La Verne]V La VerneTue. 1-19 12:15 am Hockey USC USCFri. 1-22 7:30 pm Basketball Claremont-Mudd JV CaltechFri. 1-23 10:00 am Swimming Redlands Caltech

by Ice Man.The Caltech Ice Hockey team

took a strange twist on Wednesdaynight. In the game, the Beaverstook· to the ice with the ease offigure skaters. However, the threestooges made a guest appearance

poseswimmers1 USC dis-covered that had not yet ar-rived Saturday morning, theyskippe:d the mOrnilt1g's races and

it a workout.

Unidentified Beaver skates toward puck as surprised opponents are left in his wake.

meet featured teams fromCalifornia colleges, schools fromacross the country, as well as somelocal age group swimmers. Amongthe teams were SCIACrival teams Occidental,

Adam Siovik (14) leaps to overcome opponents. Beavers could not overcome the Deacons, losing 62-45.

•Turn.er

Last members of theCaltech men's team

their first meet ofson. three-day UCIInvitational was held at HeritagePark from Friday, January 8 to

hmlJ:lTV 10. The Caltechmen's team, only attend­ed the meet on Saturday and

THE CALIFORNIA TECH

More Inside WorldPage Sux!Page Sux!Page Sux!

and the might of Fleming house move onward and upward.

Frosh spot: Let's hear what the frosh think so far ...Twitly frosh #1: I rip from him a paper he's holding to get his attention--­

My computer printout!? Oh no. Ah, what do I think of Caltech? This placeis dull, the parties are dull and I'm an unhappy frosh.

Confusedfrosh: I like the southern Comfort, but watch out for the spaghet­ti down on the ledge. Someone should get rid of all the blond frosh womenthat keep bothering me.

Stupid frosh #2: Who are grandma and grandpa?Unhappy frosh: The sophomore class is LAME!Twitly frosh #2: Did you know I sent this guy this file that erased his direc­

tory! And then it listed on his screen!! And then it LOGGED him OUT!!! Itwas GREAT!!!!!

Stupid Frosh #3: B shoots first, but in the reference frame of A, B diesfirst. Hmmm. Does anyone know the combination to my door? The maid lockedme out.

These frosh need help, and speaking of blond frosh women: Janine's back­Again - but for how long?

For those of us that really matter: 11536 hours until graduation!-Woolstar

Lloyd: On short notice, I came up with this tv show concept:

"Leave it to Giezen"

Ricketts: What I did last weekend (another in our continuing series of stupidstories). I wentup to Big Bear. And I went skiing. And I played in the snow.Skiing was fun until I hit the tree. The hospital was fun too. While I was thereI played with some old man's EKG machine. Boy, were the nurses mad. I visitedthe nursery and looked at all the babies. They were so cute; except for onethat looked like a rat. They have a special room in the basement that they keepreally cold. I snuck in at night and saw people sleeping, but I couldn't wakethem up, even when I hit them as hard as I could. When I got out everyonewas mad that I didn't have a cast for them to sign, so they wrote on my forehead.

The Big Maroon Machine rolls on. The first interhouse ultimate frisbeegame was an inspiring spectacle as the mighty Scurves showed the lowly boysin yellow what being men (and women) is really all about. The Lloydies coulddo nothing to avoid the 11-4 rout. When last seen, they were walking backto their house to console themselves.

The boys in red will also have to contend with the Maroon onslaught. ThisSunday marks the first Ricketts Discobolus challenge of the term. Volleyballis the game, and all the players are in training. Eat right, sleep well, and nosex (to the dismay of aU).

Other Naughty Bits: The first Ricketts Hovse raffle continues. Sales arebrisk, with many of the tickets being bought up by a high ranking memberof the Caltech administration. Su-Lin lost yet another purity point at the handsof one of our own Inside World writers. A free raffle ticket to the first personto guess which point and with whom. Doggy fondly remembered his sopho­more year last night when he recalled sharing his time with a 4'1/2" ornamen­tal woman. 4'1/2"? That's how he remembers her, but I wonder if it's her bottomor top 1'1" that he forgot.

- The Lit' Cook-Man and the Great Neck Strangler

Probably not to be continued. The Frosh Ultimate Force is looking good.Glad to have the spinmobile back,

Starring Nancy Giezen as Mrs. Giezen, Craig "Digby" Sosin as WallyGiezen, John "Pope" Wiltse as Eddie Hascal, and Jurgen Giezen as the Gieze.

The Gieze: "Mom, I'm home!"Mrs. Giezen: "That's nice dear. Did you have a good day?"The Gieze: "Yeah, I got to play in the wind tunnel. It was real neat...my

hair was blowing allover the place and everything."Wally (entering): "Hey Gieze, did you feed your turtle yet today?"The Gieze: "Gosh no, Wally. Hey, I made up this game on the way home.

You have to stack these five chairs on top of one other chair without usingany extra supports. Let's try it!"

Wally: "Uh, that's o.k. Gieze."Eddie: (entering): "Hey Gieze, I heard you left your bike at the store yester-

day, and walked all the home without realizing it. Hah, hah, hah. What a dolt!"Wally: "Gee Eddy, you're being a little hard on the Gieze."Eddie: "By the way, that's a lovely dress you're wearing, Mrs. Giezen."Mrs. Giezen: "Why thank you Eddy." (She leaves.)The Gieze: "Gentlemen, what's happenin'?"Wally: "You're in big trouble, that's what's happening. I walked into your

room and noticed that terrible paint smell. You shouldn't be building that stuffin there. Mom's gonna be awfully sore."

The Gieze: "Aw heck, I didn't think you could notice it. Oh no, Maybemom won't let me go to the U5 concert--I love that song, what's it called?-­something like I still haven't looked for what I found--you know, it goes like'monday, bloody monday.' Oh well, let's have some fun, maybe sing some songsor throw the ball around or have some cider--you know, some sort of socialevent, maybe a dinner-type thing, like cheese carving...by the way, do youhave any quarters ...

FRIDAY 15 JANUARY 19887

- The King of Spin

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CALIFORNIA TECH

I~----'------------FRI DAY 1 5 JAN UARY

what goes on1988

,

continued on page 5

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Tax Reform And YOU!Mr. Rex Root, a Taxpayer Service

Specialist from the Internal Revenue Serv­ice, will be in the Winnett Lounge on Fri­day, January 22 from noon to 1:00 pm. Hewill address the issues of Tax Reform andits effect on students and scholarship in­come. Please come with all your questions.(Brought to you by the Financial AidOffice.)

Identify Mystery CoinageThe January 20 meeting of the Caltech­

lPL Numismatic Society will feature a mys­tery coin identification seminar. Membersand guests are invited to bring an unknownor unidentified coin for analysis by a panelof experts including Henry Tanner ofCaltech.

As always, refreshments and the popu­lar coin drawing will be a part of the even­ing's activities.

All members of the Caltech-JPL com­munity and their families are most welcomeat meetings which are held at 7:30 pm thethird Wednesday of each month in room 168of the Church Lab Building on campus.

Alexander Quartet in BeckmanAt 3:30 pm on Sunday, January 17, the

Alexander Quartet will perform in BeckmanAuditorium. The program for this ColemanChamber Music Concert includes Mozart'sQuartet No. 21; K. 575; Brahms' QuartetNo.1, Op. 51 and a commissioned workby Peter Maxwell Davies. Admission:$17.50-15.00-12.50; students get $4 off.Special Techer offer: Fifty free tickets andfifty tickets at $6 went on sale last Tuesdayat the Caltech Ticket Office. If there are anyleft by now, the limit is one free ticket andone discount ticket per CIT student I.D. Callcampus extension 4652 for information.

Caltech's Women FacultyJenijoy LaBelle, Associate Professor of

History, will prese)lt the fourth lecture inthe OWC-sponsored series "PresentingCaltech's Women Faculty" at 12 noon onJan. 20 in the Judy Library, Baxter. Hertalk, "On Women's Catoptrics-Literatureof the Looking Glass," promises to be bothentertaining and illuminating, so pleasebring your lunch and drop by!

Skeptics vs. ScientologistsInternationally reknowned cult expert

Priscilla Coates will address the subject ofscientology - its unusual origins, its secretdoctrines, its current litigation problems-ina presentation on "The Bizarre World ofScientology". The lecture is sponsored bythe Southern California Skeptics (whoseprevious presentations at Caltech have beentouted in the L.A. Times as "the hottest spotsin town for restless intellectuals") and theCaltech Y, in Baxter Lecture Hall this Sun­day, January 17 at 2:00 pm. The talk is freeand open to the public, though seating islimited.

Sunday's lecture promises to be especial­ly exciting, as a large group of scientolo­gists are expected to attend and dispute Ms.Coates' claims. Ms. Coates will be availa­ble for an informal discussion at 4:00 pmin Clubroom 1 of Winnett Center. Refresh­ments will be served. The discussion in Win­nett is open only to Caltech students andfaculty members.

THE CAliFORNIA TECHCaltech 2,5.;-58 SACPasadena, California 91125

Darkroom-Take TwoD.R.U.G., the Dark Room Users'

Group, had a meeting a week ago to showour new equipment and to decide on newimprovements to be made to the darkroom.Since posters went up only the night before,few people showed up, so well have a repeatTODAY, Friday 15 Jan. 88, at 2 pm in theDarkroom-room 39 of the S.A.C. If youare at all interested in the Darkroom, youshould come see our brand new Beseler45MXT enlarger, as well as our Beseler 23Cenlarger with dichroic colorhead-and muchmore. Dues for the remainder of the yearare $7.50, and refundable key deposit is$10. Cabinet storage space (locked) is alsoavailable; see Darkroom door for details.For more information, call Mark Looper at304-0006.

Caltech On The AirKPCC-FM's weeknightly talk show will

be offering something special on the thirdWednesday of every month in 1988, withthe debut of "AirTalk: The Caltech Edition."The first"Caltech Edition" radio show willair at 6 pm on January 20th. It will featureCaltech celebrities Theodore Hurwitz, VicePresident for Institute Relations, JudithGoodstein, Institute Archivist, and JeffTekanic, ASCIT President. The show willregularly feature interviews, announcementsof things you could just as well read here,an almanac of scientific and historical factsabout Caltech, and a digest of current dis­coveries, theories and inventions by Caltechscientists.

All that in a one-hour show! 89.3 onyour FM dial.

S.E.D.S. MeetingCaltech S.E.D.S. will be meeting on

Tuesday, January 19th, at 7:30 pm inClubroom B (Rm. 15) of the Student Ac­tivity Center. We will be showing a pair ofmovies on Skylab. Refreshments will beserved.

Discussion Group to MeetA discussion group for graduate students

interested in investigating the relevance ofChristianity and the Bible in today's worldwill meet at 8:00 on Tuesday, January 19in 304 Thomas. Contact Jim Hanson at795-8123 for more information.

L.A. Philharmonic TicketsThe Caltech Y has tickets for the follow­

ing dates: 22 January (Dvorak, Tippett); 5February (Stravinsky, Mozart, Beethoven);19 February (Haydn, Britten); 18 March(Haydn, Shostakovich); 15 April (Lutos­lawski, Mozart, Brahms). Since that's all theinformation they gave us, you'll have to askthe Y what they plan to do with the tickets.

Starting Your Own BusinessAre you interested in starting your own

business, but you don't know how? Cometo 22 Gates on Thursday, 28 January at 4:30pm. William Lyte will be speaking on howto do so. He will discuss such topics as: get­ting a management team; finding venturecapital; pricing a product; finding your cus­tomers; registering your business, and more.He runs a consulting firm in Pasadena thatis involved in start-up companies. The talkis free and open to the public. (Brought toyou by the Caltech Y.)

Road Hockey In SeasonThe 1988 season had an auspicious start

on Jan. 9. Special thanks to newcomers Jay,Rob, Paul and Guy. With the return of warmweather, games will begin at 9:00 am onSaturdays, north of Beckman Auditorium.Late arrivals will be accomodated, and newplayers are always welcome.

SURF's up!!Applications for SURF-'88 (Summer

Undergraduate Research Fellowships) arecurrently available in Room 3, Dabney Hall.We have a notebook with a few projects for'88 listed for undergrads to review.

Application deadline is 5 PM Monday,March 7.

$4.00 OFFSTUDENTS

Fastpitch Softball"Pickup" softball games to be held week­

Iy, Sunday afternoons at I pm. At first, wewill be use Jefferson Park (Villa, east ofHill) until the Caltech field is available.Come early! For more info call Steve at(818) 577-0365.

Gay/Lesbian Discussion GroupThe GaylLesbian Discussion Group will

meet the first and third Wednesday of eachmonth. The next meeting will be held onWednesday, January 20 at 7:30 pm in theYoung Health Center lounge. Refreshmentswill be served. For further informationplease contact L. Bruce Kahl, x6393.

Second Term Film SeriesIn conjunction with H-131: History

Through Film, Professor Robert Rosenstonewill be screening a series of excellentfeature-length films at 7:30 pm on Wednes­day evenings in Baxter Lecture Hall. Thesescreenings are open to members of theCaltech community. There is no admissioncharge. The film for January 20 will be LaNuit de Varennes (France-1982), withMarcello Mastroianni and Hanna Schygulla.

Poetry Reading at HuntingtonThere will be a poetry reading by Robert

Mezey, reading his own work on Thursday,January 21 at 2:00 pm at the HuntingtonLibrary. Robert Mezey, professor of En­glish and poet-in-residence at Pomona Col­lege and Claremont Graduate School, willpresent this program in the Overseers' Roomof the Entrance Pavilion. This program issupported by the California Arts Council.

Wild Strawberries In BaxterCinematech will present Ingmar Berg­

man's Wild Strawberries this Saturday night.Made immediately after The Seventh Seal,this film tells the story of an aged doctor(Victor Sjostrom) journeying through a com­pelling landscape of dream and memory.Throughout the day, as he travels to receivean honorary degree, he experiences a ser­ies of haunting flashbacks which force himto confront his life and its failings. This filmis ranked second on the list of StanleyKubrick's all time favorites, so you knowit's got to be awesome. Showtimes: 7:00 and9:30 pm, Jan. 16 in Baxter Lecture Hall.Admission: $1.50. For more info, callJames Shih, x3968.

Repo NightWant to experience Repo Man, plus

generic food and drink? Then come to Win­nett Student Center, Tuesday 19 January at8 pm. The Caltech Y will be showing a RepoNight (our second). All are welcome.

Caltech Raquetball ClubPasses for the use of the Pasadena

YMCA's racquetball facilities are now avail­able at the Caltech Y for the price of I dol­lar. They can be purchased during normaloffice hours and are available to any student.The passes allow full use of YMCA facili­ties for one day.

The YMCA is located at 235 E. HollyAve., 1 block north ofthe Pasadena Plaza,next to City Hall. There will be a list ofavailable partners posted at the Caltech Y,so if you are interested, please sign up.

If you have any helpful suggestions forthe club, contact Jason Stewart at 1-59 or356-9414.

Rooms/Equipment AvailableIs your group looking for a place to meet

or a TV/vCR to use? If so, look no further.The Student Activities Center has manyrooms available for students to use. Toreserve a room, stop by the office of theCoordinator, Nancy Matthews (SAC Rm.64). Reservation forms are available outsidethe door. If you'd like to use the TV/vCR(no charge!), just indicate that on your form.Nancy will call you to confirm your reser­vation. Pretty simple, eh?

S.A.C. Office HoursStarting second term, Nancy Matthews,

the Student Activities Coordinator, will beholding open office hours from I :30 to 3:00pm, Monday-Friday. If you need a copycard, would like to talk about planning anactivity, need to reserve a room or wouldlike more info on the new Student Activi­ties Center, please stop by S.A.C. Rm. 64.These are not the only hours you will findNancy in her office, but you can be assuredof her assistance if you stop by at thesetimes. Honest! This time, for sure!!

Satellite TV in the S.A.C.Ifyou haven't yet visited the S.A.C. TV

Room, you'll want to now. As of 1111188,subscriptions for the following stations havebeen added to the vast number of viewingpossibilities on the TV and related equip­ment: Showtime, HBO, Cinemax, TheMovie Channel, WGN, WPIX, KTVT,WOR, CNN, CBN, Discovery, ESPN,Headline News, The Learning Channel,Lifetime, MTV, Nashville, Nickelodeon,USA and Video Hits One. This room is open24 hours a day to the Caltech community(although occasionally the door does getlocked, erroneously). If you would like toreserve this room (maximum of four hoursconsecutively), please sign up on the list inthe TV room - first come, first served. Ifyou have any questions, please contact Nan­cy Matthews (x2935), Mailcode 64-58.

Shampoo, Style CutMEN Reg. $18.00 NOW $14.00

WOMEN Reg. $22.00 NOW $18.00

449-69671009 E. COLORADO • PASADENA

Offer valid with this ad only. Monday thru Friday

PARIAN TRAVELCaltech Officially Approved

Most courteous, economical and efficient servicefor your official and penonal travel needs.

Free service to you.

For an introductory offer a complimentary S5O.00worth of fine dining checks will be offered with the

purchase of min. $100.00 travel tickets (one per family).

(818) 577-8200468 S. Sierra Madre Boulevard, Pasadena

Last Call For Letter JacketsIf you want to order a letter jacket, see

Brad Scott in Blacker, Room 6, before Jan.31.

Art Classes Still AvailableArt classes in silkscreenlairbrush paing­

ing (SlAP), paintingldrawing (PID) and cer­amics have already begun for second termbut there may still be room for you! To addanyone of these classes, simply attend theclass of your choice and if the maximumnumber of students for that class has not yetbeen reached, you're in! You should thenfJll out the proper "add" cards with the regis­trar's office. Classes meet at the followingtimes: SlAP-Monday, 7-10 pm in SACRm. 22, PID-Tuesday, 7-10 pm in SACRm. 23, Ceramics-Wednesday, 7-10 pmat the Polytechnic School. There is no feefor any of these classes. Although first pri­ority is given to undergrad and graduate stu­dents, faculty and staff are encouraged toattend. Please contact Nancy Matthews, Stu­dent Activities Coordinator (x2935), Mail­code 64-58, if you have any questions.

KKAL Needs Help Being BornFor all of those interested in the manage­

ment, policy or engineering side of a radiostation at Caltech, there will be a meetingon Thursday, January 21 at 8 pm in the RedDoor Cafe to discuss the progress that hasbeen made and what still needs to be done.

INSURANCE WAR! We'll beat anyone'sprices or don't want your business.Sports cars, multiple tiCkets, good-driverdiscounts. Request "Caltech Plan."(818) 992-6966 or (213) 873-3303.

PROFESSIONAL WORD PROCESSINGSERVICES specializing in 'resumes/the­sis/dissertations', office procedu re consul­tant, Alhambra, M-F 9 a.m. - 5 p.m.,Evelyn (818) 576-2059.

PROBLEMS w/ PROSE?Ph.D English 1985. Will critique/edit re­sumes, letters, papers, proposals, disser­tations, technological prose, anymanuscripts. (818) 355-4340.

PERSONAL FITNESS TRAINER in home orgym by appointment only. Elaine(818)-441-0599.

SERVICES-

CLASSIFIED ADS

RUSH CONCERT TICKETS, February 4 atthe Forum. Call Chris or Jonathan,578-9368. Leave message.

HELP WANTED-

MALE STUDENTS WANTED!University students as sperm donorsby California's largest sperm bank.Earn $70-105/week. 213-553-3270California Cryobank, Inc., 2080 CenturyPark East #306, Los Angeles.

CAMPUS REPRESENTATIVE. Earn $500+by placing and maintaing posters for For­tune 500 Companies' products on campus.3-4 flexible hours each week. Call today:1-800-821-1540!

EARN $50-$100 per day marketing creditcards to students on your campus. WorkF/T or PIT. Call 1-800-932-0528.

WORK-STUDY OPPORTUNITY: Part-timework as an assistant in training a monkeyfor a specific behavorial task. Involvesregular training sessions 3 days/week, 3hrs/day. Contact J. Knierim (x6824) or D.Van Essen (x6823).

LOST & FOUND-

Announcements for What Goes Onshould be submitted on an announcementform available in the SAC copy/mail room(Room 37) or on a plain piece of paper.Please indicate the date(s) you want theannouncement to run. Send announce­ments to 25-58, or put them under thedoor of Room 40A of the SAC.Announcements must be received by theTuesday prior to publication.

FOR SALE-

DID YOU LOOSE YOUR HARMONICA? If so,please see Nancy Matthews (SAC. Room64, x2935) to claim it

PINK PEARL EARRING found. Call Elainex4864.

RATES $2.50 for first 25 words;... 1O¢ for each additional word.

Send written ad with payment to 25-58.No charge for on-campus lost & found.

Guitar ClassesGuitar classes for second term meet on

Tuesdays and started January 12 in Rm. 1of the S.A.C. The schedule is as follows:Beginning guitar class: 4:30-5:30 pmIntermediate guitar class: 3:30-4:30 pmAdvanced guitar class: 5:30-6:30 pm

Classical and flamenco repertoires willbe explored but the techniques transfer toother styles of guitar. The beginning classalso includes a new jazz and folk chord sys­tem. Classes are free to Caltech students(and other members of the Caltech commu­nity, space permitting). Undergraduates canreceive 2 units of credit if they choose. Pri­vate instruction on any level can also be ar­ranged. The instructor, classical guitaristDarryl Denning, has an international record­ing, teaching and performance backgroundand can be reached at (213) 465-0881.

Fly To Mars, VicariouslyThe Division of Geological and Plane­

tary Sciences is building a camera that willfly on the Mars Observer mission in 1992.Right now, we have a lot of work to do. Weare looking for part time student help forvarious types of tasks - wire wrapping, soft­ware, radiation test data analysis, and otherstuff. The hours can be flexible, but mostof the work needs to be done at our off cam­pus site (a couple of miles west of campus).If you have any intrest, please call Mike Ra­vine or Tom Soulanille at the Mars ObserverCamera Project office, 796-4266.