4Corners of EI

Embed Size (px)

Citation preview

  • 7/31/2019 4Corners of EI

    1/33

    EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCETHE LOST KEYS TO MANAGEMENT

    First Cornerstone Emotional Literacy

    Being real & true to yourself:

    Builds Personal Power; including selfawareness, inner guidance, respect,responsibility & connection.

    Recognising, respecting & valuing theinherent wisdom of feelings.

  • 7/31/2019 4Corners of EI

    2/33

    1. Emotional Honesty

    -- When pure sincerity forms within it is outwardlyrealised in other peoples hearts (Lao Tzu).

    -- Feelings are indispensable for insight & good

    judgement.-- To remain honest with yourself & to respect the

    wisdom of both the heart & head.

    -- Emotional honesty makes you real & true toyourself.

    -- We lie loudest when we lie to ourselves.

  • 7/31/2019 4Corners of EI

    3/33

    2. Emotional Energy

    -- Your first & foremost job as a leader is totake charge of your own energy & then tohelp orchestrate the energy of those around

    youDrucker-- Thetop characteristic for acquiring & holding

    great power in organisation is energy,endurance and stamina

    -- (Calmness X Energy) (Tension X Fatigue) = Motivation

  • 7/31/2019 4Corners of EI

    4/33

    3. Emotional Feedback

    -- Every feeling is a signal-- If we happen to over react to anger or any other

    feeing, we are being driven by impulse

    -- Excuses:a) Yes, I shouldnt have said what I did, but

    you know how jealous I am

    b) Yes, I shouldnt have said what I did but you

    know what a temper I have

    c) Yes, I should have answered back but I am acoward

  • 7/31/2019 4Corners of EI

    5/33

    Acknowledge & feel the emotion

    -- Listen to the information or feedback theemotion is giving you

    -- Guide the emotional energy toconstructive response. EQ in actionIf Itook responsibility for

    3. Emotional Feedback2..

  • 7/31/2019 4Corners of EI

    6/33

    4. Practical intuitionSeeing with Heart

    -- People with high levels of personal mastery cannot

    afford to choose between reason & intuition, head & heartanymore than they would choose to walk on one leg or seewith one eye Peter Senge

    -- Intuitive feelings fuel reasoning

    -- One of the biggest impediments to effective decisionmaking today is that all the literature & all the consultantshave recommended that emotion & passion be taken outof management. They think that strategy is purelyanalytical exerciseCK Prahlad

    -- The most irrational assumption-that people should behaverationally and unemotionally- Dean Trosjold, Simon FraserUniversity Business School

    -- (Attentiveness + Questioning) X Curiosity = Practical Intuition

  • 7/31/2019 4Corners of EI

    7/33

    The second Cornerstone Emotional fitness

    Being clear & getting along: Buildsinspiration of self & others includingauthenticity, resilience & trusting relationships.

    Just as physical fitness builds strength, stamina& flexibility of the body, emotional fitness buildscorresponding qualities of heartenables to

    expand your circle of trust or trust radius positively co-related to profitability & successhanding pressures and problems in healthier,more open and honest ways.

  • 7/31/2019 4Corners of EI

    8/33

    5. Authentic presence

    -- Of late authenticity has become an admired &sought after trait among business leaders &managers

    -- Being real & connecting through Inquiry &dialogue (Attentiveness X Concern) (Ulteriormotive X entitlement) = Authentic Presence.

    -- Shake things up, probe, prod, enquire,advocate, be real & receptive, honest - watchthe results.

    This is emotional fitness in action.Taking inquiry & dialogue seriously.

    -- There is a big difference between showinginterest & really taking interestMichael P

    Nichols In Lost Art of Living.

  • 7/31/2019 4Corners of EI

    9/33

    -- Having the courage to forgive yourself &others.

    -- Getting to the Heart of the Matter.

    -- Write a letter from your private self to

    public self.

    5. Authentic presence.2..

  • 7/31/2019 4Corners of EI

    10/33

    6. Trust Radius

    -- What bridges of trust have you crossed fromtime to time in your life & work? take a fewmoments right now to recall one or two suchexperiences.

    -- How do you become one of the wealthiest

    people in the world?One way is to trust yourself & those around youso much that you give away 70% of what youown & in the process make thousand of your

    managers & employees millionaires. That iswhat Bill Gates did with Microsoft & Sam Waltondid at Wal-Mart.

    -- Mitsubishi Corporation Emphasising immensevalue of Trust Networks

  • 7/31/2019 4Corners of EI

    11/33

    -- Trust becomes the glue that holds relationship

    together & frees up honest dialogue.-- Lack of trust effort in protecting, doubting,

    checking, weighing & inspecting.

    -- The overheads of distrusting or wary relationshipsare enormous Michael Hammer

    -- At Arthur Andersontrusted business advisors

    -- Technique & Technology are important but addingtrust is the issue of the decades Tom Peters.

    -- There is little trust without believability.

    -- Extending your Trust Radius;

    a) Sit down while you are interacting with otherpeople

    b) Dont make any time urgent movements

    6. Trust Radius..2..

  • 7/31/2019 4Corners of EI

    12/33

    7. Constructive Discontent

    -- Once Alfred Sloan in a board meetingabout to make an important decisionItake it that everyone is in basic agreement

    with this decision and everyone noddedin assent. Then I suggest we postpone

    the decision. Until we have somedisagreement, we dont understand the

    problem.

    -- Constructive value of discontent.

  • 7/31/2019 4Corners of EI

    13/33

    Awareness what really matters to you &

    others.Problem exposure dialogue aboutfrustration and irritation can identify

    relationship blocks, excessive costs, wastedtime, injustices, poor quality under efficientprojects and processes.

    Applied Empathy our empathy is to put totest in times of difficulty can you stretch tounderstand the value of diversity & differencein others & draw upon this as an aid.

    Trust environment real open & honest.

    7. Constructive Discontent..2..

  • 7/31/2019 4Corners of EI

    14/33

    Inclusion and participation integrate theneeds of people for respect, to be heard,to contribute.

    Creative collaboration constructivediscontent.

    Learning in Action the person who grabs

    the cat by the tail learns about 44% fasterthan the one just watchingMark Twain.

    7. Constructive Discontent..3..

  • 7/31/2019 4Corners of EI

    15/33

    Challenge & Engagement genuine interest in work.

    D x D x M > S

    D Discontent: about how things are right now.

    D Direction: a clear path or open direction.

    M Movement: specific steps or actions which act likeemotional magnet.

    S Statuesque: representing the firmly establishedbeliefs, rigid attitudes & strongly held mind sets of

    your group or organisation or resistance tochange.

    In great teams conflict become productivePeterSenge.

    7. Constructive Discontent..4..

  • 7/31/2019 4Corners of EI

    16/33

    Companies that create the future are

    rebels. They are subversives. They breakrules Gary Hamel & CK Prahlad Seeing the FutureFirst..HBR.

    When two people in business alwaysagree, one of them is unnecessary WilliajWrigby Jr.

    Join a dialogue by talking slowly & calmly.

    Stay open when things heat-up;He is not really yelling at me, he is yellingfor himself.

    7. Constructive Discontent..5..

  • 7/31/2019 4Corners of EI

    17/33

    Engage the EQ of the whole group. I

    appreciate how you feel or if I were in yourshoes I would probably be just as angry, oncemore please.Listen harder

    Balance advocacy & inquiry.Identify cooperative possibilities.Say no when mean no; our role models shouldbe six years old- they talk straight.

    Deal productively with anger; irritation, passion,discord are part of caring dialogues. They areinvestment in conversation.Be willing to acknowledge that there are cynics.

    7. Constructive Discontent..6..

  • 7/31/2019 4Corners of EI

    18/33

    8. Resilience & Renewal-- We rise to great heights by a winding staircase

    Sir FrancisBacon--How many different ways human beings get

    changed over a lifetime.

    -- Deeper changes, the ones that last longest are

    emotional. They anchor us & liberate us.-- Millions of people face fires, tornadoes & floods.

    I am curious about you. What have you faced?What is your life story?

    -- Adversity builds character of crisis tamed,tragedies faced or averted, help arriving at thelast moment or not arriving at all.

  • 7/31/2019 4Corners of EI

    19/33

    The character of Great People:

    Only those who dare to fail greatly can everachieve greatlyJFK

    Success is going from failure to failure withoutloss of enthusiasmWinston Churchill

    No one can make you feel inferior without yourconsent Eleanor Roosevelt

    Success is 99% present failure Soichiro Honda

    To make a living is no longer enough. Work alsohas to make a lifeDrucker

    Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, closeknit family in another city George Burns, USComedian

  • 7/31/2019 4Corners of EI

    20/33

    The Third Cornerstone Emotional Depth

    -- Builds core character & influence & calls forthyour potential, integrity & purpose.

    -- Life & work seems to flow like a river at timesswirling high against the banks & at times free

    from wind & storm.

    -- What about you: Do you live only on the surfaceof your life? Or do you drive through the depths?

    -- Emotional intelligence cannot thrive or expandwithout emotional depth.

    -- Character is higher than intellect.

  • 7/31/2019 4Corners of EI

    21/33

    9. Unique Potential & Purpose

    -- Identify your unique potential-- It is never too late to be what you might have been

    George Eliot

    -- What specially are my greatest strength & talents?

    -- What are the most important relationship in my life(Role set)

    -- Who is the person who has had the greatestpositive influence on my life? What was it about the

    person that was exceptional.-- What am I most proud of in my life?

    -- Start a page my personal purpose in life is

  • 7/31/2019 4Corners of EI

    22/33

  • 7/31/2019 4Corners of EI

    23/33

    11. Applied IntegrityCore characteristics of Personal integrity

    a) Discussing what is right & what is wrong.b) Acting on what you have discussed.c) Saying openly that you are acting on your acting

    on understanding of right from wrongD x ( A + V ) = I

    Discernment x (Action + Voice) = Integrity-- What do I stand for?-- What we together (partnership, group or

    organisation) can accomplish now or in future.

    -- What am I willing & not willing to do to achieve thissuccess.What has no shadow has no strength to live

    Csezlaw Miloz, Noble Laureate

  • 7/31/2019 4Corners of EI

    24/33

    12. Influence without Authority

    Your sphere of influence working at the

    boundary between chaos & order.

    Emotional Resonance; Energy, Information &Influence.

    When people feel that they give more to arelationship than they get in return, they feeldistress & respond either

    a) They reduce inputs or

    b) They increase outcomes (demanding more) or

    c) They end the relationship.

  • 7/31/2019 4Corners of EI

    25/33

    Mentoring & Compassion; caring for persons,the more able & the less able serving each otheris the rock upon which a good society is builtRobert K. Greenleaf Harvard Business School.

    Lifes most persistent & urgent question is whatare you doing for others?Martin Luther kingJr.(1928-1968)

    We may have all come on different ships, butwe are in the same boat now- Martin Lutherking Jr.

    12. Influence without Authority2..

  • 7/31/2019 4Corners of EI

    26/33

    The fourth Cornerstone Emotional Alchemy

    -- Sensing opportunities & creating thefuture.

    -- Builds conference including intuitiveinnovation, situational transormation & fluidintelligence.

    -- Work is an attempt to find an adequate

    alchemy that both awakens & satisfies thevery root of being.

    Thomas Moore Care of the Soul

  • 7/31/2019 4Corners of EI

    27/33

    13. Intuitive Flow

    The sixth sense is intuitive flow.

    There is something within you that knowsmuch more than you know Rochelle Myers,Co-author of Creativity in Business.

    Intuitive managers are the people whodream up new products & have a feel forwhat the consumer wants Weston H. Agar,

    University of Texas.

    If you want to go from here to there inbusiness, no straight line will take you William Ahmanson, Chairman of National American Life Insurance

    Company.

  • 7/31/2019 4Corners of EI

    28/33

    14. Reflective Time Shifting

    To unusual creative idea or unconventionalway to boost effectiveness or solveproblem

    How exactly would you put that into practiceat this company.

    -- Flast Forward & Reflect back

    Better despite the risks, to leap into thefuture. And to do so sooner than later John P. Kotter, Harvard Business School (10-15 yearsfrom now)

  • 7/31/2019 4Corners of EI

    29/33

    Time Shifting Questions

    a) Who are my most important workcolleagues & customers?

    b) How do I really know them as individualswith unique talents & potential?

    c) What specific ways do I help them betterachieve their purpose & goals.

    14. Reflective Time Shifting2..

  • 7/31/2019 4Corners of EI

    30/33

    15. Opportunity Sensing

    -- Discovery consists of looking at thesame thing as everyone else &perceiving something different Albert SzentGyorgyl, MD., Phd., Twice Noble Laureate.

    -- It is possible that most people workingafter the turn of the century will be

    working in industries that dont even existnow .Nicholas Imparto & Oren Harai, Jumping the curve

  • 7/31/2019 4Corners of EI

    31/33

  • 7/31/2019 4Corners of EI

    32/33

    16. Creating the Future

    The future never just happens. It is created

    Will & Ariel Durant, The Lessons of History.

    Incremental changes are driven by intellect, it is

    short term limited in scope & tends to bereversible.

    In contrast successful managers & leaders takecreative risks. They allow themselves & others

    to make mistakes.The future is not some place we are going but

    one we are creating John Schaar, US Sociologist

    16 C i h F 2

  • 7/31/2019 4Corners of EI

    33/33

    The future is not shaped by people who do not

    really believe in the future John W.Gardner onLeadership.Whatever made you successful in the past wont

    in the future Lew Platt, CEO Hewit & Packard It is always fun to do the impossible Walt

    Disney If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And if

    I am only for myself, what am I? And if not nowwhen? Teacher Hibel in the 1stCentury

    As Mahaatma Gandhi saidYou must be the changeYou wish to see in the world

    If not now when?

    16. Creating the Future..2..