5 Steps to Unleash Your Inner Confdience Dr Aziz Gazipura

8/11/2019 5 Steps to Unleash Your Inner Confdience Dr Aziz Gazipura

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Confidence Building Secrets: Youre About To Discover How ToPermanently Break Free From Your Shyness and Self-Doubt!

Yes, I know this is a bold claim. We havent met so how can I know you can

overcome shyness and create lasting confidence? How do I know its possible for you

to dramatically improve your confidence and change your life?

Because Ive seen it.

First in my own life, and then in the lives of hundreds of other people.

I worked with a man named Tim who was so painfully shy he couldnt even make eye

contact with people. He couldnt even ask a stranger on the street what time is was.

Pursuing the career he wanted, meeting and dating attractive women, and creating a

thriving social life... all of these were completely out of the question for him. He didntlike who he was and his future looked depressing and bleak.

I saw Tim go from being horribly stuck where hed been trapped for seven years to

turning everything around in his life. He started small at first, taking baby steps and

applying the 5 Stepsyoull learn below. He began treating himself better, challenging

his negative stories, and doing things that scared him. He let go of the unreasonable

expectations he had for himself and practiced the skill of self-compassion.

In short, he took action to change his life.

As he did this, he realized the most important confidence secret of all social

confidence is a skill. Its something you can develop through practice. When you know

the right steps, building confidence can be an incredibly rapid and enjoyable process.

5 Steps To Unleash Your Inner Confidence | 1 |


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I watched Tim start doing things he never thought possible. He started smiling at

strangers and getting positive responses. He started initiating conversations with

women, and getting phone numbers and dates. He stopped being his own worst critic

and took action to pursue the career that inspired him.

Now hes pursuing a graduate degree in optometry, has a thriving social life, and an

amazing, beautiful, intelligent girlfriend. And more importantly, he likes who he is

and feels confident in himself. He believes in himself and moves towards what he

wants in life. He got offthe sidelines and into the game.

If Tim can do it, anyone can! And Ive personally witnessed as hundreds of other

people just like Tim have changed their lives for the better. But, most people dont do

what Tim did. Most people stay stuck in a place of shyness, social anxiety, fear, and

self-doubt for many years (sometimes their entire lives). Most people think its notpossible to transform your life.

Why Most People Never Create Lasting Confidence

You downloaded this book and have made it this far... you must want more confidence

in your life. My question for you is where are you struggling with confidence?

Where in your life are you held back by shyness, social

anxiety, self-doubt, or fear?

Youll know it immediately because in this area theres

something you really want, but you feel afraid you wont

be able to get it. Or you may even be telling yourself its

impossible for you to have it, and you dont deserve it

anyway.

Do you lack confidence in the area of dating? Do you

struggle to meet attractive women and be yourself around

them? Do you see women youd love to go talk to, butinstead you freeze or flee? Are you uncomfortable dating,

unsure where to go, what to do, when to try and kiss her?

Perhaps your struggle is in relationships. You can date women, but you cant ever really

let your guard down. You cant just be completely at ease, be comfortable, or be

yourself without some nagging fear if she sees the real you, shell bolt.



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Maybe your struggles are in your career. Do

you avoid reaching out and speaking with

coworkers or potential clients? Are you afraid

to speak up in meetings or to approach a

supervisor about an issue? Do you havedifficulty speaking in front of a group of

people?

In all of these areas, the pattern is the same.

eres something you want, something you

need thats important to you, but you don't

go after it because of fear. Your quality of life

is reduced because youre not pursuing whatyoure passionate about and your life suffers as

a result. Maybe your relationship suffers.

Maybe your business suffers.

Maybe you suffer. Maybe deep down inside you just don't feel confident in yourself.

You don't believe in yourself. You don't even fully like yourself. You're struggling to

feel like you're a worthwhile man whos competent, capable, and able to be effective in

the world.

Im all too familiar with these feelings. I spent a decade of my life stuck in them.

In whatever ways its holding you back, a lack of confidence in yourself is a major

problem.

Because confidence is everything!

ink about it for a second. If youre confident in yourself, then you take effective

action in your life. You deal with people well, you approach challenges head on. You

gain love, respect, income, power, and influence. More importantly, you like who youare and you feel a sense of purpose in your life.

If you dont have confidence in yourself, then you feel self-doubt and social anxiety.

You hold back, procrastinate, make excuses, and delay. You either take no action, or

you predict and expect failure and take poor actions that reflect this.



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is leads to loneliness, poor relationships, mediocrity, andfinancial hardship. Life

feels like a drag and youre plagued by a sense of meaninglessness.

Isnt this true?

Maximizing your confidence is not just about getting the girl or making more money its about pursuing and creating a life that fills you with passion, joy, and purpose!

And heres why

It comes down to just two things. Here are the only two things that can stop you from

creating the confidence you want in your life...

1) You Dont Believe Its Possible

e biggest obstacle on the road to confidence is the one at the very beginning. Most

people will never even start down the path because they believe its not possibleanyway, so why try?

e reason you might think its not possible is because of all the Confidence Myths

in our culture (which Ill share and de-bunk in a moment). You might believe some

people just have it and others dont. You may think theres something fundamentally

wrong with you, or youre too ugly, or too overweight to be confident.

Perhaps youve tried something in the past (a self-help book, an Internet search, or

some counseling), and it didnt work, so now youve concluded: Its just not possible

for me. As Henry Ford said...

Even though its absolutely essential for a happy life, most people will

never create lasting confidence in themselves.

Whether you think you can, or you think you cant, youre right.



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Fortunately for you (and me), none of this is true. Its completely possible to transform

your level of confidence. After over a decade of personal and professional research (see

my story below), Im absolutely convinced confidence is a skill anyone can learn. And

Ill teach you how in this E-Book.

But theres one other obstacle that will stop you on your path to confidence. In fact,

Im sure its already tripped you up when youve tried to build your confidence in the

past.

2) You Dont Take Consistent, Effective Action

Even if you believe its possible, if you dont know what steps to take, then building

confidence is incredibly difficult. is isnt made

any easier by the abundance of bad advice out

there telling you how to improve in this area.

Most of the stuffout there teaches you clichs andcommon sense stuff, like imagine everyone in

their underwear before you give a talk, or just be

yourself. Or, even worse, they teach you stuffthat

seems like itll help in the short term but it

actually hurts your confidence in the long run.

Most of the pickup artist stufffalls into this

category. eyll teach you things like, be sure to

criticize or mock her in some way so she feelsinsecure and wants to get your approval, or if

she wont make out with you, become cold and

distant. Eventually, shell come around.

Ugh.

If you believe its not possible, then you wont even try and youll never

achieve the level of confidence you want in your life.


5 Steps To Unleash Your Inner Confidence |


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All that pickup artist stuffjust gives you another rulebook to live by. It teaches you

that you have to be this suave player in order to meet women, get dates, and find

love.

It teaches you the exact opposite things you need to create a deep, lasting sense of

confidence in yourself and the advice is absolutely terrible if you actually want to

create a passionate, sustainable relationship with a girlfriend.

In order to eliminate shyness and social anxiety and create rock solid confidence, you

must take consistent action. You must learn effective skills that have been proven to

work, and then actively apply those skills daily.

is is the key to transformation.

Ill teach you the proven steps below, but just reading them wont change your life. Inorder to create the confidence you want, you must commit to applying what you

learn.



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I know what its like to be held back by shyness, social anxiety, and self-doubt. I spent

about 10 years of my life living this way.

I didnt have many friends, I was nervous to

interact with strangers, I hated meeting

people, and I avoided most parties and

gatherings. I didnt like myself, hated my

appearance, and was constantly berating

myself in my own head.

at sounded stupid, why did you say that?ese people think youre an idiot. You look so

awkward. ose circles around your eyes are

disgusting. No woman could ever want you

ese were just a few of the motivating things I said to myself on a daily basis.

Of course, meeting women, going on dates, and getting a girlfriend were completely

offthe map. I was convinced that no woman could possibly find me attractive. Sure

enough, I never went on dates or had a girlfriend.On top of all that, I didnt believe I was good enough to pursue the career I was most

passionate about. I loved creating elaborate models, settings, and animations in a 3D

art design program called 3D Studio Max. I dreamed of one day being a 3D artist for

a video game company.

In response to that dream, I would tell myself: You arent talented enough. Who do you

think you are? Other people are so much better than you are whats the point?

And public speaking? Ha, yeah right! I couldnt even look a stranger in the eye, howwas I going to get up in front of a group of thirty people and speak confidently? No, I

avoided public speaking like the plague.

So there I was -- feeling shy, lonely, hopeless, and miserable. Worst of all, I didnt think

there was anything I could do about it.

STUCK IN SHYNESS - MY STORY

Yep, that!s me, pre-confidence.



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I kept telling myself in my head things would somehow just get better. Maybe thats

how I kept some hope alive. When I was in middle school, I imagined high school

would be better. More friends, more women, more parties. Yeah, thats it. High

schools the ticket!

When high school was absolutely no different, I started telling myself college was

when the magic was going to happen. Co-eds and parties everywhere! Certainly then

Id start having the life I want.

Was college any different?

No. Same old fears, shyness, and inhibitions. Same old Aziz.

I kept using the someday will magically be better strategy for another few years,

until one day something inside of me just snapped.

I wish I could say it was a glorious moment where I realized the truth and

immediately felt free. Actually it came from one of the most painful nights of my

life

I thought some people were just confident, charismatic, and

good looking, and others werent. In short, I was a loser

and this was just my lot in life.



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As soon as I saw the look on her face, I new she was done with me.

Id been pining over Cindy for months. She had long black hair, big brown eyes, and a

bright smile shed flash after making a witty joke. She was from L.A., incredibly

stylish, and could speak multiple

languages. She was amazing, and I

was in love.

After several months of working

together, I finally worked up the

courage to ask her out to lunch oneday. To my surprise and delight she

said yes! is was the third woman

Id ever asked out. I was 21-years-

old.

I thought the lunch was fantastic. I

asked her questions, shared about

myself, and made jokes. I was

friendly, warm, and enthusiastic.Afterwards, I couldnt wait to see her

again.

e next time we met up at work, I

was planning on asking her out

again. But something had shifted.

She interacted with me less and was

more distant. After our shift, I waited for her outside of the building. When she came

out, I told her I really loved hanging out and wanted to go on a date with her.

ere was a longer-than-what-youd-hope-for-in-this-kind-of-situation pause, and

then a certain look. If youve ever been a shy guy who was failing with a girl, then you

know the look. Its the youre a nice guy so I dont want to hurt your feelings, but Im

not that into you look.

THE TIPPING POINT



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After the long pause she replied, Yeah, that sounds great. We should hang out

sometime.

After this, she took longer and longer to return my calls and began ignoring me more

at work. Ouch. About a week later, I finally got it. She doesnt want to go out with me.

Shes not interested.

It felt terrible. I still remember the moment when I really got it. I saw her chatting

with another guy at work. She was laughing and having a great time. I had to get out

of there

When I got home that evening, the lights in the living room were off. My roommate

was in his room with the door closed. I made myself a bowl of pasta and went into my

room to distract myself from my woes with some video games.

So there I was -- 21-years-old, alone at night, unable to get a date, and playing video

games in my room. Feeling pretty low. ings cant get much worse than thisI thought.

And then I heard the light murmur of female laughter. Such a sweet sound. It was my

roommate Chris girlfriend. She must be in his room with him.

en I could hear the muffled sound of his voice, occasionally punctuated by the

laughter of the woman who loved him.

Ill never have that, I thought to myself.

I guess things could get worse.

Wait. Wait!

is isnt right. I cant take this. I cant live like this anymore. Nothings going to change on

its own. Nothing is going to be different. If nothing has changed by now, then nothing ever

will. I have to do something about this now!

I closed the Warcraft startup screen, and opened up Google

I shook my head, trying to clear away that wretched feeling the best years

of my life were passing me by & there was nothing I could do about it.



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I took it one step further and actually went to a doctorate program in clinical

psychology to learn how people can make changes on the deepest level.

Most importantly, I was constantly applying everything I learned about confidence.

Anything that helped me, I shared with friends and clients.

As I did this, my life completely transformed. I was able to approach beautiful women,

start conversations, and get dates. I was able to meet new people, chat with strangers,

and make new friends. I went on crazy, fun, exciting adventures Ill remember and

cherish for the rest of my life. I was able to speak to people in positions of authority

and give confident presentations and talks to groups of any size.

I felt like Neo in the Matrix!

I began to see patterns of what helped someone break out of shyness and what keptthem stuck. I could see what people needed to do in order to get free, and do so

quickly.

And thats what Ive included in this book.

But, before you can learn the steps, we have to take a moment to debunk the biggest

myths about confidence.

ese are false beliefs that kept me (and many others) stuck in shyness for years.

Once you can see through these, then putting the five steps into practice will be much

easier.

Below are the 5 most essential steps you must take in order to break free

from shyness & maximize your confidence. If you study these steps, &commit to applying them daily, your life will transform.



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Confidence myths are the stories weve been told about confidence that just arent true.

Many people believe them -- maybe even most people. But they still arent true. Andas long as you believe them, itll make it very difficult to break out of your shell. Lets

explore (and debunk) these top confidence myths, shall we?

Confidence Myth 1 Hes A Natural (a.k.a. You Either Have It Or You Dont)

is myth says some people are just

born with confidence.eyre

comfortable in themselves, have

high self-esteem, and peoplenaturally like them. eyre good

looking, popular in school, and go

on to have successful careers.

eyre blessed with confidence.

Others are just born shy and

socially inept. eyre awkward,

weird, and unattractive.eyre

destined to live a life of solitude,mediocrity, and loneliness.eyre

permanently doomed to a

pathetically low number of

Facebook likes on all their posts.

is myth says confidence is an

innate trait (like eye color) and you

cant do much to change things. It

says theres a fundamental

difference between the confident,

popular people and you. It says no matter what you do, you cant change your lot in

life and youre never going to be the kind of guy who women want to talk to.

is myth is complete and total bullshit.

THE FOUR BIGGEST CONFIDENCE MYTHS



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No one is born with confidence. Confidence is a learned response. Its a pattern of

thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, all of which you learn as youre growing up.

Some people happen to learn it earlier than others (if theyre lucky). ey might learn

it from their parents or at school when theyre young. By the time they get to high

school, theyve learned how to think, feel, and act confidently.

You, on the other hand, might not have picked it up yet. And thats okay. You can

learn it now. In fact, Ill teach you how in the next section.

eyre just like you.eyre not a different species.

In order to do learn this skill, you must get rid of the idea confident people

are somehow different or fundamentally better than you.

Yeah...not so much.



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But this is just another confidence myth.

Ive met absolutely gorgeous women who are impeccably dressed and have perfect hair

and teeth. Men who see them cant help themselves from staring in awe at their beauty.

But on the inside, these women feel painfully insecure and self-critical.ey dont liketheir thighs, their lips, their toes.ey dont feel competent in their careers or as

partners, friends, or mothers. In short, they dont feel confident at all.

Ive worked with men who are incredibly wealthy worth hundreds of millions of

dollars.ey can go anywhere, buy anything, and do anything. And they imagine

people dont like them because they arent funny enough, or relaxed enough, or witty

enough.

I hope this is resonating with you. If not, you just have to trust me on this.

Confidence is an inside job. It wont spontaneously emerge when you obtain

perfection or reach some income level.

Confidence comes from what you do inside of

your own mind, and nothing else.



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e most important and essential ingredient in unleashing your inner confidence is to

become an outstanding coach to yourself.

roughout the day, youre coaching yourself in your own mind.is includes how

you speak to yourself, how you treat yourself, and how you guide yourself through

difficult times.

You must master this skill if youd like to become more confident in yourself.

To get a sense of how you coach yourself, think about something that's challenging to

you.

Maybe its speaking in front of a group of people you don't know. Perhaps its

approaching an attractive woman youre interested in and introducing yourself.

Pick a situation thats a challenge to you, and imagine being in that situation now. See

the group of people, or that beautiful woman, and notice what you typically say to

yourself.Before you give a talk or presentation you might be thinking: Oh my god, I'm so

nervous I can't do this. I'm going to mess this up. I better not mess this up. I'm going to get

up there and I'm going to forget my lines. It's going to be so awkward and terrible. eyre

going to wonder why they even hired me. I cant do this. I dont want to be here.

STEP 1 - BE A GOOD COACH

A players best friend is a coach who believes in him.- Robert Griffin III

Coaching yourself in a positive, supportive, & encouraging way is more

important than any external achievement, success, or outside praise.



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Or maybe you're going to go talk to an attractive woman and you think: I dont have

anything good to say. Shes going to be creeped out and think Im a total loser. Besides she

doesnt want to talk to me anyways. Shell be annoyed and uncomfortable if I try to start a

conversation.

Does this kind of coaching sound familiar?

Is this effective coaching? Does it make you want to do the thing youre scared to do?

Does it help you find creative solutions?

The Toxic Coach

Unfortunately, for many of us, our default coach

doesnt offer support, encouragement, praise, and

inspiration. Its full of fear, doubt, and self-attack.

Is this the kind of coach youd want to have for

your favorite team? Imagine the coach of your

team saying this to his players during half time:

ose guys are so much better than you are. I dont see

how you could possibly win. Youre so terrible and you

miss everything. You guys are just not good enough.

Now get out there and dont mess up.

Move over Tom Landry!

Hows the team going to perform? It's ridiculous

when we think about it in terms of an actual coach

and a team. But if you pay attention to how you talk

to yourself, you might be surprised to hear this type of coaching all the time.

Imagine going to your favorite restaurant and taking a seat next to a table with a fatherand son. If the father were talking to his son in the same way you talk to yourself in

your own mind, youd be outraged. Youd be appalled if you heard a father telling his

son he was stupid, awkward, and not good enough. It would be totally unacceptable.

And yet, you might be treating yourself like this on a daily basis.

is is a toxic coach.



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Fire Your Toxic Coach

In order to create a lasting sense of confidence, you must shift how you coach yourself.

Before you change your wardrobe, or get a new car, or learn a pick-up line, you must

address how you coach yourself, how you speak to yourself.

To do this,fi

rst start paying attention to how you already coach yourself. For the nextweek, notice how you talk to yourself. Pay particular attention before you do

something thats scary, or challenging, or uncomfortable for you.is can include

meeting new people, going somewhere new, speaking in front of a group, dating, or

doing anything where you perform (job interview, presentation, etc.).

When youre feeling down, or tense, or anxious, pay attention to what your coach is

saying. Usually hes giving a lengthy lecture about whats wrong with you and why

youre not enough.

Once youve noticed this coach in action, you must choose to change the way you

speak to yourself.

In order to develop confidence, you must fire your old toxic coach and decide to hire a

positive, healthy coach. is is a coach that encourages, inspires, and motivates his

team to believe in themselves, step up, take risks, and do their best.

A toxic coach destroys your inner confidence, no matter

how much you achieve externally.

We all need regular and frequent encouragement and support to succeed.



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What would this success look like to you? It might be speaking in

front of that group, approaching that woman, or doing something

that really challenges and scares you. In order to pull this off, you

need to be able to encourage and support yourself, before during

and afterwards.

Regularly ask yourself: What would be the best way to coach myself

right now? How could I be a bettercoach to myself?

ink of good coaches youve had. Remember mentors, teachers,

and other supportive people whove believed in you in your life.

Even if you dont know the person, you can draw upon the guidance

of an author, leader, or sports coach you admire. Ask yourself, what

would this person say to me?

Coaching Yourself To Confidence

Keep in mind the way youve been coaching yourself, this toxic coach, is simply a

negative pattern or habit. It might be a habit youve had for years, but its still just a

habit. In order to shift this habit, you can use whats called overcorrection.

is means you overcorrect, or use the new coaching style way more than you

normally would until it becomes conditioned as your new pattern. To do this, actively

speak and think the healthy coaching phrases to yourself throughout the entire day.

At least ten times a day, notice what you're doing and actively encourage, support and

praise yourself.

To give this even more impact, you can use your own name. Referring to yourself in

the third person actually has a strong impact on your mind.

For example, let's say I was going to give a presentation. Ive spoken hundreds of timesin front of groups, and yet I still actively coach myself beforehand with positive,

healthy encouragement. Ill say something like: You got this Aziz. Youre an incredibly

effective speaker and communicator. Youre playful, creative, courageous and you help people

understand things with great ease.



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You might be thinking this sounds cheesy at first but believe me, its incredibly

effective. Would you rather try something a little cheesy or continue to use the default

coach? He might say: You cant do this. Youre terrible at speaking. No ones interested. You

arent good enough.

Which would you prefer? Which one is going to help you more?

To create a lasting change in your coaching style, you must do it regularly throughout

the day. When you get up out of bed without hitting snooze, praise yourself for being

disciplined. When you eat something healthy for lunch, you praise yourself for that

choice.

You can do this in your own mind or out loud. It tends to have more impact and be

more powerful when you speak the voice of this coach out loud.

Keep your eyes open for when you do something well. A good coach is very skillful at

noticing success in his players, and highlighting this so he knows what hes doing

right.

Take Action: Celebrate Your Success!

To further strengthen your healthy coach, try this exercise. At the

end of each day, sit down with a sheet of paper or a journal and

ask yourself: what are three successes from the day, three things

you did well in?

These can be small and personal successes, or big public successes.

Making this practice part of your day will rapidly develop a healthyinner coach that nourishes, supports, strengthens and inspires you.



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Whether you're feeling insecure and nervous, or confident and strong is almost

entirely based on the thoughts youre having about a particular situation, or your story.

e story that you tell yourself is how you describe what's happening around you and

inside of you. It's the way you make meaning out of the events in your life.

For example, lets say you are single and you want to connect with a woman in your

life. Imagine you are at the supermarket and you happen to see a gorgeous woman

looking at fresh juices in the refrigerated isle. Youve been practicing some and have

gained some courage to follow your desires, so you go and speak with her.

She gives you a smile and kind of an awkward grin. It looks more like a grimace to

you. She then nods and moves away. It seems like a polite rejection.

How are you feeling in this situation? Discouraged, embarrassed, worried, hopeless,

angry, humiliated?

What I just described is the event.e event does not automatically make you feel

anything. How you make sense of the event, or the meaning that you give the event,

will determine how you feel.is meaning is your story. And your story determines

how you feel.

All of us are making stories all of the time, about everything.e quality of story that

you make determines how you feel about yourself, your level of confidence, and your

level of success in life.

STEP 2 - TELL A BETTER STORY

The only thing that stops you from getting what you truly want in life isthe story you have about why you cant have it. - Anthony Robbins

The fastest & most direct way to change how you feel about a situation or

about yourself is to shift the story youre telling yourself.



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What would some typical stories be for the event I described above?

She rejected me, I was awkward, I was too nervous. I'm a loser, my feet are too big, my

pants are too baggy. I got these dark circles around my eyes. My ears are too big. I'm just a

loser. I didnt sound confident enough.

Is this an empowering or a disempowering story? Does it inspire you to want to try

again and give it another shot? Or does it make you depressed because you think

theres something wrong with you and there's nothing you can do about it?

Find A New Meaning

To create the lasting confidence you desire, you must learn how to tell a better story.

You can learn to tell stories that empower you, encourage you, that see you and your

possibilities in a positive light.One way to start shifting the stories you tell yourself is to regularly ask:Whats a better

story? Whats a more empowering way to see this?

Another powerful way to shift your story is to ask yourself:What else could this mean?

What are three other ways to look at this situation?

Try this now with the situation of the woman looking at juice in the supermarket.e

old story was: she rejected me and Im a total loser who will never get a woman.

e event was she grinned/grimaced and moved away.

What are three things this could mean?

Don't just wait to read the alternatives, actually think about it now!

If your story tells you theres nothing you can do about a situation,

its false. You always have a choice.



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e simplest one that comes to

mind is she could be having a

bad day. She could be tired,

hungry, and grumpy. Maybe

it's a preference thing. Maybe

people who look like you arent

her preference. Maybe being

approached in a supermarket is

not her preference. She goesthere to shop and leave. If you

were to talk to her in a

bookstore she might love it, but in a supermarket she doesnt want to be bothered.

A third meaning is perhaps shes shy. Maybe she's uncomfortable. Maybe some

attractive man comes and talks to her and she doesn't know what to do so she gets

nervous. What do people do when they're nervous? Most people will close down and

escape the situation as quickly as possible.

Whenever you notice yourself telling a negative story, you have to check it and ask

yourself: Is this story helping me? Is there something else that this could mean?

The Story Of Your Life

Beyond your daily stories about events happening around you, you also have a bigger

story about who you are in your life. We all have a story about ourselves, where we

came from, and the events that shaped us. Where we are now, where we're going, and

what is possible for us in the future, often based upon our past.

is broad story is the saga that is your life. What kind of story do you tell yourself

about your life? Is it a tragedy, is it a comedy? Is it a hero's journey, an epic tale? Are

you the main character, or are you one of the supporting characters? Are you in the

main plot of the story or are you on the sidelines?

The more you can challenge yourself to see alternative stories, the more

flexible and empowered you become in your own life.



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Are you the hero or are you the villain? Are you the character that people love and root

for, or are you the good-for-nothing character that can never really do much in their

life and wont amount to much anyway?

Take Action: Write a New Story

Whats been the story of your life? Who are you? Where have you

been and where are you going? Whats possible for you? Are you a

capable hero or an ineffective supporting character? Write out a

brief version of your old story.

Once youve written it out, ask yourself: Is this an empowering

story? Is this the story thats going to get me to where I want to go

in my life? Is this the story that gives me confidence in myself?

Now write out a new story for your life. Make it the story you want

your life to follow.

Notice how you can use the same events and change the meaning

to create a new, empowering story. This isnt about blowing smoke

or just some positive thinking. This is about being flexible in

your mind to see you can view your life through many lenses, frommany perspectives. Why not pick the ones that empower you to

succeed?

Whats your true story? Is it a triumph? A tale of overcoming great

odds and adversity to eventually achieve greatness? Is it a

romance? Is it a heros journey?

Who is the main character? Is he strong, determined, a leader? How

does he deal with setbacks, conflict, and challenges?

Write out a detailed version of a new story for your life that

empowers and inspires you. Read this story over at least once a

week until you believe it fully and it just becomes who you

naturally are.



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Once youve become a good coach to yourself and youre telling yourself a better story,

the most powerful way to unleash confidence is to change how you deal with the

things that scare you.

When theres something in your life youre afraid of, whats your natural impulse?

e most natural response to fear is to move away, to avoid the thing were scared of. It

could be approaching a beautiful woman, starting up a business, or asking for a

promotion. If we're scared of it, we tend to avoid it.

If someone avoids something no matter

what the cost, and has unreasonable

terror about something it becomes what

we call aphobia. If someone were to

come to see me to treat them for a spiderphobia, wed do whats called exposure

therapy where we'd help them experience

the situation and see they can handle it.

We wouldn't take them and just throw

them into a spider pit. Wed use systematic

desensitization, which means we expose them a little bit at a time so they become

desensitized to it. ey don't feel it as much and they're no longer as scared of it.

For a spider phobia wed start by having them think of a spider. e next session wed

work more with imagination, and then eventually wed have them look at a picture of

a spider. e next session we'd have a spider in the room in a cage. Eventually, we'd go

to a pet shop and have them hold a spider until it no longer scares them to be around

spiders.

STEP 3 - DO WHAT SCARES YOU

We gain strength, courage, & confidence by each experience in which

we really stop to look fear in the face we must do that which we think

we cannot. - Eleanor Roosevelt



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is process works exactly the same when it comes to building confidence in your life.

Having greater confidence means youre more free to do what you want in your life.

Youre more free to act without being scared.

Its important to note fear is a natural part of being a human and everyone feels fear.e idea men arent supposed to be afraid is a horribly unrealistic and toxic notion.

The Two Fears That Hold You Back

ere are two main fears that hold people back. One is fear of rejection and the other

is fear of failure. Both failure and rejection can trigger that terribly uncomfortable

feeling in your heart and stomach that youre bad, youre not good enough, and that

no one could possibly love you.

e idea of not being worthy of love and affection is terrifying to humans. Were social

creatures and being ousted from the pack meant death in our evolutionary past.

Because this feeling is so uncomfortable to us, well do anything to avoid triggering it.As a result, we end up avoiding things that might cause rejection or might cause

failure.

What happens if you try to avoid all rejection or any failure in your life?

You end up avoiding success as well. Anything worth having requires you to take a risk

to obtain it. Whether its meeting a woman, developing a relationship, going on a job

interview, starting a new job, or starting a new business, it always requires you to risk

failure and rejection.

You must learn to move towards what you want, in spite of fears of rejection and

failure.

The goal is not to eradicate all fear. The goal is to be able to go after

what you most want, even when fear is telling you to stop.



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If we took that person who was scared of spiders and we plop them down and show

them a picture of one spider and then they leave, theyre not cured. ey have to

repeatedly expose themselves to what they're scared of.

Take Action: Face Your Fear

Think of one area in your life where you have consistent fear. It could be

in meeting women, dating, deepening relationships, speaking up at

work, calling clients, speaking in front of a group, or any other area.

Write out five things youre scared to do in this area. Pick the least scaryof the five and do it sometime this week. The next week, pick the

second least scary thing. Do this over the course of five weeks until

youve done everything on your list.

Use the example of the spider phobia to help you realize exposing

yourself to fears is a process. You dont need to jump into the spider pit

right away. In fact, doing that too soon can be counterproductive. The

best approach is to gradually challenge yourself to do things that are

just outside of your comfort zone.

Note:Exposing yourself to fear is an incredibly powerful tool of

transformation. It can also be difficult to do by yourself. If youre

struggling to do this on your own, please contact me and we can discuss

ways you can get support in this process

(www.SocialConfidenceCenter.com).

Approaching what scares you isnt a one-time action. Its a

lifestyle. Its a way of being in the world that continues to

strengthen and deepen your confidence in yourself.

Too many of us arent living our dreams because were living our fears.

Life takes on a new meaning when you become motivated, set goals, and

charge after them in an unstoppable manner. - Les Brown

http://www.socialconfidencecenter.com/http://www.socialconfidencecenter.com/


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One of the biggest obstacles to confidence is to be too much in your own head.

is means being lost in your thoughts during the day and not really present to whats

happening around you.

Many of your thoughts are about things that are going to happen in the future, either

later that day or weeks or months in advance. Your thoughts might also linger overevents from the past what happened earlier that day, months ago, or years ago with

your last relationship or your first job.

Many times, the things we worry about in the future are things that never actually

happen. What if I lose my job? What if I run out of money? What if my girlfriend leaves

me?

Each of these thoughts causes us to react with fear or discomfort, even though in the

present nothing bad is happening.

As Mark Twain said, "I've been through some terrible things in my life, some of which

actually happened."

We spend a lot of our energy and focus on what could happen in the future and what

did happen in the past and how the past shouldve been different. Resisting the past or

being afraid of the future is just a recipe for pain.

Retreat To The Tower

Getting lost in thought also happens when we want to avoid feeling something

uncomfortable. Emotions like fear, shame, or inferiority can very painful. One way to

escape them is to retreat to a safe distance in our minds. Its like retreating to a tower

high above our experience. From here, we can analyze whats happening and avoid the

discomfort.

STEP 4 - THINKLESS, FEELMORE

I teach people that no matter what the situation is, no matter how

chaotic, no matter how much drama is around you, you can heal by your

presence if you just stay within your center.- Deepak Chopra



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You mightve noticed this when you were in a bar

or coffee shop and you see an attractive woman

you want to talk to. But you dont go talk to her.

What do you do instead? You say to yourself: I

can't go talk to her. I don't have anything to say.What am I going to say to her? I need to come up

with something to say.And so you can spend ten

minutes, twenty minutes, an hour, or the entire

night thinking to yourself, I need something to say.

I don't know what I would say.

e whole time youre in your head. Youre

thinking, planning, and imagining all kinds of

scenarios. If I say this, she'll say that, and then I'll say this. If I say that, I might getrejected. And if she does this, then I'll get rejected for sure.

And so you're in your head the entire night. You're doing this to avoid the fear you're

feeling, to avoid rejection, to avoid failure, to avoid any painful emotions.

What youre not doing during this time is noticing you're breathing. You're not feeling

the beer you're holding in your hand - the coolness of the liquid and the heaviness of

the glass. You're not feeling your toes inside of your shoes. In a sense youre not fully

here, in thismoment.

eres an abundance of things happening right now. e more present and aware you

are, the more centered you become. You can realize this moment isnt as threatening or

scary as your thoughts indicate.

e more you can notice your thoughts for what they are passing events in your own

mind the more centered and naturally confident you become. People can feel

someone whos present in themselves and in the moment.eres a natural charisma

and magnetism that comes from presence.

The biggest drain to your confidence is being stuck in your mind,

stuck in your head, stuck in your thoughts.



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Presence In Relationships

In addition to affecting your ability to meet women and start conversations, being

stuck in your mind is one of the biggest problems in relationships. One of the most

common complaints in relationships women have about the man they're with their

date, their partner, their husband - is that hes not present.

e man is often confused. He says: What do you mean? I was there with her all day.

She says: You were with me but you weren't present.

What does she mean by that? She means you were with her that day, but you were in

your mind. You were thinking about what you were going to do later, about how to

please or impress her. You were worrying about what could go wrong, or if she

thought you sounded cool enough. Or you were thinking about something else

entirely, lost in a sea of thoughts.

Developing Presence

You can start by becoming present in your body using the exercise below. When youre

present in your body, it makes you stronger, firmer, and less impacted by what goes on

around you.

e next time youre in a situation and you notice your mind grinding away on what

to say to a woman, take a moment to step back and actually just feel into your body.

Notice your breath coming in and out of your body, the weight of your body on your

chair. Notice the colors, shapes, and objects around you. Notice all the sounds hitting

your ears the music, the ambient noise, the drum of many chattering voices. Simply

breathe and feel your presence in this moment. How present can you become?

A deep, sturdy, stable sense of confidence doesnt come from your

thoughts it comes from being truly present in this moment.



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at's the level of presence you can bring. And when you're bringing that level of

presence, you're radiating an inner confidence thats way more powerful than any

thought or fear.

If youre truly present in yourself, it goes way beyond the words you say when you

speak with a woman. Its something she feels in direct response to the presence you

bring. Ask any woman and shell tell you presence is the ultimate aphrodisiac.

Take Action: Build Your Presence Power

The power of presence comes from being able to reside in this moment.

Its a skill developed over time by paying attention to whats happening

around you and inside of your mind and body.

You can build presence power any time throughout the day. Simply shift

your attention from your thinking to your breathing. Notice what it feels

like to breathe in and breathe out from moment to moment. You can

direct your focus by saying to yourself: In this moment Im breathing in.

In this moment Im breathing out.

Continue to feel your breath and start noticing sensations in your body

warmth, tingling, dampness, pressure, tightness. Notice the sounds

hitting your hears, seeing if you can count ten distinct, difference

sounds as they hit your eardrums.

It can be helpful to imagine youre a distant human ancestor in a jungle.

During that time period, presence was essential to survive. See if you

can tune your senses to their highest, as if your life depended on it.

What colors are you seeing, what objects, what movements? What

sounds, smells, tastes or you noticing?

Continue this process for several minutes, opening to whatever you

notice with a nonjudgmental attitude.

Quite simply, if you're feeling anxious, angry, a sense of shame, whatever it is,

breathe in and agree to touch or feel it. Breathing out, offer space and care to

whatever's there. If there's blocking to touching it, emphasize the in-breath and

stay embodied. - Tara Brach



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In my years of counseling work, Ive met so many men who are incredibly strong,

talented, attractive, articulate, capable, and effective in their careers and relationships,

and yet they dont feel confident in themselves. ey don't believe in themselves. ey

don't view themselves highly. Whats happening for them is they have an idea or map

of how a man is supposed to be.

is list of supposed tos is

like an internal checklist

men use to determine if

theyre measuring up. If

youre not measuring up to

your internal checklist, you

feel like a failure, like youre

not enough, and dont feel

confident.

Confidence comes from

believing in yourself,

knowing you have value, knowing you're worthwhile, and knowing you have

something to offer. When you don't think you have those things, its impossible to feel

confident.

Many men have it rigged so they cant feel confident or good about themselves because

how they're supposed to be as a man is unachievable.ese standards are often set bythe culture at large and the families we grew up in.

A key step in unleashing your natural inner confidence is to examine what you believe

you should be as a man. You must remove the unhealthy, unrealistic demands on

yourself and replace them with supportive, realistic standards of excellence.

STEP 5 - REDEFINE WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A MAN

This is the tyranny of the shoulds: the absolute nature of belief, the

unbending sense of right and wrong. If you dont live up to your shoulds,

you judge yourself to be a bad and unworthy person. - Matthew McKay, PhD



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Ask yourself: Does my current checklist seem healthy and obtainable? Does it strengthen

me? Does it get me to where I want to go or does it make me feel restricted, unhappy, down

on myself, and unsuccessful most of the time?

If your current checklist is not serving you, you can consciously choose another way of

being. Doing so will improve how you feel about yourself, help you obtain better

results in your life, and dramatically increase the amount of confidence you feel on a

day to day basis.

Take Action: Redefine What It Means To Be A Man

Take a moment to write out your old list checklist. Make a list of all the

ways youve been telling yourself you should be or have to be in order to

be a good, worthwhile person.

Look over the list and cross off anything thats unrealistic or overly rigid.

Ask yourself: What is my definition of a healthy man?

Determine for yourself what your standards are going to be. Not what

society has told you, not what your dad has told you, but what you truly

believe.

To me a real man is aware, firm in his commitments, loving, expressive,

knows what hes feeling, has patience with himself, is vulnerable and

honest, and is able to speak his mind despite how others might react.

Sometimes he feels scared, angry, helpless, or horny. A real man does

not attack himself for what hes feeling.

This is my definition. Whats yours?

A deep, sturdy, stable sense of confidence doesnt come from your

thoughts it comes from being truly present in this moment.



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If theres one decision that can radically change your confidence - and your entire life

- its deciding to practice complete self-acceptance.

When it comes down to it, self-confidence isself-acceptance.

If youre totally on your own side, your own best friend, your own biggest fan, then it

doesnt really matter if someone rejects you or you fall short of a goal. You know youre

a good guy and you can always try again tomorrow.

Over the course of this book, you mayhave noticed developing confidence is

a skill that takes regular practice. Much

like learning the guitar, you must

practice regularly if you want to see

your skills improve.

In fact, the first time you pick up the

guitar, you're not even going to be able

to hold it, let alone make beautifulmusic with it.e same goes for

developing confidence in an area of

your life, whether it's dating, or relationships, or speaking up in public.e first time

you try to do something different, itll be like playing the guitar for the first time. It

may be messy and not sound very good.

iss why complete self-acceptance is an essential part of unleashing your inner

confidence. You must be able to support, love, and encourage yourself along each step

of the process.

Going at this process alone can be challenging. I highly recommend becoming involved

with groups, counseling, coaching, or any other form of personal development as an

ongoing part of your life.e counselors, psychologists, psychiatrists, and coaches I

admire most all have done years of their own personal work.

BONUS STEP 6 - COMPLETE SELF-ACCEPTANCE

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself. - Mark Twain



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Conditional Self-Acceptance

e biggest obstacles to accepting yourself are

the conditions of worthyou have. ese go

something like this: If I do ________, then Im

worthy of love and belonging. Otherwise, I wont

accept myself.

For example: I'll accept myself if I can give an

amazing speech and amaze everyone in the

audience. Otherwise I'm a failure and I'm not

good enough. I'll accept myself when I lose 20

pounds. I'll accept myself when I'm making

$100,000 a year. I'll accept myself when...is is a conditional type of acceptance and it

often leads to not accepting yourself most of the

time.

Objections To Complete Self-Acceptance

Wait a minute, you might be saying... But, isnt that how I motivate myself? If I just

accepted myself no matter what, Id be a lazy slob! Also, what if Im being a jerk or an

asshole, I shouldnt just accept myself then.

ese objections are very common and worth considering.

First, as far as motivation, withholding acceptance from yourself is like using a whip

on a mule. It might make him move, but it certainly doesnt make him happy. is

type of motivation is like using dirty fuel in your car itll run the engine, but itll

eventually eat out your insides.

e best trainers in the world can get whales to jump through hoops and dogs to push

shopping carts through a supermarket.ese incredible feats are done entirely through

positive reinforcement.eres no beating or intimidating the animal to make it

perform. e same holds true for us.



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e second objection is that sometimes were being a jerk or an asshole and we need to

change what were doing.is is absolutely true. We all get into to moods or patterns

where we can say hurtful things, avoid taking responsibility, and generally be a dog.

e purpose of complete self-acceptance is to allow us to own up to our misbehavior

so we can correct it, without rejecting ourselves. In fact, the less we accept ourselves,

the less responsibility we can take because we already dont like ourselves!

e truth is, the more you accept yourself, the more you can acknowledge mistakes

and shortcomings and take effective steps to correcting them.

Making The Decision

If you truly want to create a deep, lasting sense of confidence in yourself, then you

must make a decision. You must commit to accepting yourself no matter what

happens. No matter what you feel, do, say, or think. Even if you make a mistake,

make a fool out of yourself, hurt someones feelings, or fall short of a goal.From this decision you commit to accept yourself even if youre scared, even when you

have an awkward interaction, even when

you embarrass yourself in front of an

audience. Part of this decision is realizing

when you make mistakes and fall short is

the most important time to remember to

accept yourself just as you are.

If you attempt to use the five steps above

without a commitment to accepting

yourself no matter what, you may find

your road to confidence is longer and

more painful than it needs to be. I know

this because thats the road I took.

Healthy coaching and encouragement produce better results and

greater fulfillment than any sort of self-attack.



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Success Without Fulfillment

Many years ago, I decided I was going to develop confidence in the area of dating and

relationships. I was terrified of talking to women and the only girlfriend I had was one

that had pursued me. I studied everything I could on the subject and set out to

increase my confidence. However, I did so without realizing one key point.

A commitment to complete self-acceptance is absolutely necessary to create deep,lasting confidence.

I learned this lesson the hard way when it came to women and dating. I started from a

place of zero confidence in this area. I couldnt even start a conversation with an

attractive woman, let alone ask someone out on a date. I didnt even know how the

whole process worked.

I was so fed up by failed attempts with women that always seemed to end in the

friend zone or the polite rejection after one awkward interaction. I decided to throwmyself into studying the process from the inside out.

I read everything I could find on dating and relationships. I discussed my challenges in

counseling and attended workshops on how to meet women and date.rough this

process I realized confidence is a skill I can build through regular practice.is is an

amazingly helpful insight, however I didnt realize one key point:e journey to

confidence must be supported by a commitment to accept yourself no matter what.

Without this commitment I experienced great success without feeling any different. As

I learned to approach women, get phone numbers, and go on dates I still felt like I

wasnt good enough on the inside. I was always setting new goals just outside of my

reach.

If I set a goal to go to a crowded shopping center and start three conversations with

beautiful women, I would feel like I must achieve this goal or I was a failure.

A commitment to complete self-acceptance is absolutely

necessary to create deep, lasting confidence.



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Success Without Fulfillment

Worse still, even if I did start three conversations, my mind would say: Yeah, well you

didnt get any phone numbers, so youre still a loser.It was never enough.

is is success without fulfillment, which is one of the worst forms of pain. What

were really searching for through outward success is an inner sense of fulfillment, of

satisfaction and peace. And the only way to achieve this state is to commit to

accepting yourself as you are right now, in this very moment.

Once I realized this, I shifted my primary focus from outer success with women to

creating a deep acceptance of myself no matter what. I wrote a doctoral dissertation on

self-compassion and focused my studies on what helps people accept and love

themselves.is is where true confidence resides.

As I shifted my focus, I

found meeting women and

dating shifted entirely. I

stopped planning the rightline or what I needed to

project in order to make

her want me. I was able to

be incredibly authentic

and honest with women I

was just meeting. I started

saying things like: Hi

there. I was noticing youfrom across the way, and I find you incredibly beautiful. To be honest, Im a little

freaked out coming over to talk with you, but I just had to try. Whats your name?

As I accepted myself more, my ability to just put myself out there radically increased.

e same is possible for you, once youve made the commitment to accept yourself no

matter what.

It didnt matter how far I progressed or how well people responded to

me, it was never enough because I didnt accept myself.



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Take Action: Commit To Complete Self-Acceptance

Self-acceptance is not a state you achieve once and are done with. It

requires a consistent effort to remember to forgive, accept, and love

yourself no matter whats happening.

The biggest shift comes when you decide on a deep level to start

treating yourself well no matter what. When you decide youll no longer

stand for self-hate or self-criticism.

This decision comes from realizing life is better when youre on your

own side, and you can achieve profoundly more when you're not battling

yourself.

Are you willing to make that commitment now?

Confidence Tips

As you might guess, these steps dont work in a linear fashion. Its not like you

complete Step 1 and never have to worry about a toxic coach again. Instead, all of

these steps are a process.eyre things you do every day to steadily increase your

confidence.

We all want a quick result. We want to watch a video or read an article and feel

completely differently forever. But when it comes to creating a deep, permanent sense

of confidence in yourself, it takes practice over time. But I promise you, it does get

better.

e more you can improve your inner coaching, change your story to serve you,

approach what youre scared of, let go of your unrealistic expectations, be present in

your body, and find love and compassion for yourself, the better your life will be.

What follows are important confidence tips to help guide you on your path.

I must learn to love the fool in methe one who feels too much, talks too

much, takes too many chances, love and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises

and breaks promises, laughs and cries. - Theodore Rubin, M.D.



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All the knowledge in the world wont help you make a shift in how you feel. Knowing

in your head you need to have more self-compassion wont automatically make youfeel more loving towards yourself.

In other words, you must come up with a daily ritual of building your confidence.

To do this, set aside some time each day. Start

with just ten minutes if your life is really busy.

Ive never met anyone who doesnt have ten

minutes. No matter how busy, all of us are

doing things for at least a few minutes each day

we could skip (watching TV, surfing the web,

getting lost in the Facebook vortex, checkingemail for the 30th time that day, etc.).

Commit to taking some time each day to

practice one of the 5 Steps. Do the exercises

from the Take Actionsection of each step.

Really write out your list of shoulds and challenge them. Actually pay attention to

your inner coach and spend time coming up with different things you could tell

yourself.

Everything I share in this book, I have practiced myself... and thats what it takes to

create the confidence you want. Confidence is not something you just spontaneously

wake up with, its something you build over time.

So, what are you going to commit to each day? How much time are you going to

invest in yourself?

CONFIDENCE TIP #1 - DAILY RITUALS

In order to truly transform, you must have things you do on a daily basis

that put these teachings into practice.



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As you embark on this journey to greater confidence, you may start to notice progress.

Once you challenge your old B.S. story no one will like you, and do what scares you,you might just find yourself meeting women or making new friends. Huzzah! Progress!

is is a great part of the journey, and one worth celebrating. Really take the time to

notice your progress and highlight it. Dont discount it by saying, Oh who cares?

Anyone else can talk to people. I didnt do anything that amazing.

No! If talking to strangers is a big step for you, then its important. Who cares if

anyone else would think its a big deal? Its a big deal to you. And confidence builds

from your successes, so dont take that away from yourself!

But, the journey to confidence is not one continuous rise to the top, Supreme

Confidence if you will. Its not a straight line going from no confidence to maximum

confidence. It actually looks more like a stock market graph. Some days its up, and

some days its down.

is is called regression. Its the opposite of progress. Regression means youll have

periods of feeling less confident. In fact, you might have a setback, failure, or rejection

that hits you really hard. You might feel so bad you conclude nothing youve donehelped because youre right back to square one.

Dont buy into this! Catch this toxic story and remind yourself regression is inevitable.

It just means youre human and youre still learning and growing. Practice self-

compassion and see if you can ease up on yourself. Remind yourself this is a process

and youre committed to growing.

Youll discover over time your periods of regression are often shorter than they used to

be. Instead of making you feel worthless for weeks, a rejection might only make youfeel low for several days, then several hours.

CONFIDENCE TIP #2 - Progress, Regression, & The BIG Myth

Slow down, calm down, dont worry, dont hurry, trust the process.

- Alexandra Stoddard



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Your self-concept is your idea about who you are. Its how you see yourself. It includes

all the adjectives youd use to describe yourself: tall, short, thin, fat, smart, dumb,funny, boring, attractive, ugly, etc.

If youre shy and socially anxious, then you have a negative self-concept.is means

you see yourself in a poor light. You tend to notice yourflaws and shortcomings and

not your strengths (to learn how to completely transform this pattern, check out my

book e Solution To Social Anxiety).

As you apply the steps above and notice progress, something funny happens: You start

getting different results than youd predict.

For example, you might predict an attractive woman would be uncomfortable and

annoyed if you were to go talk with her, because youre an awkward, ugly, weirdo.

Hows that for a stellar self-concept?

But if you applied Step 3 and actually went and talked with her... what might happen?

If you practice this enough, you just might find you get a positive response. She smiles

and starts talking with you.

But heres where it gets weird.

I call this the Self-Concept Time Lag. ats a mouthful, huh? Well I dont care! I

think its awesome and one day Im going to trademark it.

It basically means youll start to become a more confident, assertive, outgoing person

long before youll realize youre a confident, assertive, outgoing person. Others will

begin to see you that way, but you wont. Youll have a blind spot for your own

confidence.

CONFIDENCE TIP #3 - SELF-CONCEPT TIME LAG

Even after you start getting positive responses from the world around

you, some part of you continues to predict bad outcomes.

http://socialanxietysolution.com/http://socialanxietysolution.com/http://socialanxietysolution.com/http://socialanxietysolution.com/http://socialanxietysolution.com/http://socialanxietysolution.com/


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One client of mine started getting feedback at work from the managers.

ey said he was doing great work and he was really good at putting the customers at

ease and chatting with them. But hed been so shy for so long, he still thought of

himself as the awkward guy no one wanted to talk to.

His self-concept hadnt caught up to how he actually operated in the world.

Start paying attention to your self-concept. Is it behind the times?

If someone were watching you from the outside, how would they describe you?

Paying attention to this can help you more quickly change your self-concept to reflect

the new you.

You 2.0.

One final word on taking control of you life...



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A state of natural inner confidence is your birthright.All little kids are naturally

confident. A toddler will take risks, yell out, make noise, and basically do whatever he

wants. He doesnt care what other people will think of him, or about what he shouldbe doing. All that stuffcomes later.

And if youre stuck in shyness then theres too much piled on. Too many rules, ideas,

and patterns youve picked up.e steps above will help you remove this pile thats

blocking your natural confidence from emerging.

Its possible for you to completely accept all parts of yourself, to believe in yourself and

your abilities, and to have the courage to pursue what you most want in this life.

Its simply a matter of practice and determination.

Id be honored to help accelerate your progress along this journey. Its possible to do it

on your own, but I benefited tremendously from getting guidance along the way, and

I think you would too.

If youre motivated to take action to transform your life, I strongly suggest getting one

of my confidence building training programs. Below are descriptions of each one, andhow they can help you overcome specific challenges related to your confidence.

Click the links below to learn more and order the program thats right for you.

If youre dead set on making a complete change in your level of confidence, and youre

motivated to really invest in yourself, then Confidence Coachingmight be right for

you. is is a powerful one-on-one process that allows us to identify your specific

challenges and come up with a plan to live the life of confidence you truly want.

I only accept a small number of Private Confidence Coachingclients each yearbecause my time is limited and I only want to work with you if youre ready to do

whatever it takes to transform your life. If you are, contact me about a submitting a

Confidence Coaching Application. May you have the courage to be who you truly are!

Dr. Aziz Gazipura

TAKING YOUR LIFE INTO YOUR OWN HANDS

No matter how long youve struggled, its possible for you to change your life.

http://socialconfidencecenter.com/about/contact/http://socialconfidencecenter.com/about/contact/http://socialconfidencecenter.com/about/contact/http://socialconfidencecenter.com/about/contact/http://socialconfidencecenter.com/about/contact/http://socialconfidencecenter.com/about/contact/http://socialconfidencecenter.com/about/contact/http://socialconfidencecenter.com/about/contact/


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Confidence Unleashed!

Unlocke Full Potential Of Your Masculine Power

In Dating, Business, And Life!

An in-depth 8-week confidence training program that teaches you

why you are stuck and how to break free. You will learn about your

story and how it stops you from having the confidence you need

in your life.

ADDITIONAL CONFIDENCE TRAINING & BOOKS BY DR. AZIZ

http://confidenceunleashednow.com/http://confidenceunleashednow.com/http://confidenceunleashednow.com/http://confidenceunleashednow.com/http://confidenceunleashednow.com/http://confidenceunleashednow.com/


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The Confidence Code

How To Maximize Your Self-Esteem AndMaster Your Social Life!

An interactive DVD training program that teaches you the 2 fundamental

components of confidence self-esteem and social skills.When you have

high self-esteem and you like who you are, confidence just comes naturally

to you.


http://yourconfidencecode.com/http://yourconfidencecode.com/http://yourconfidencecode.com/http://yourconfidencecode.com/http://yourconfidencecode.com/http://yourconfidencecode.com/


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The

30 Days To Dating MasteryMaximize Your Confidence, Start Conversations, And Date

Amazing Women... All By Being Yourself!

is comprehensive video coaching program is designed to take you from

feeling stuck and shy with women to a place of truly enjoying your datinglife.

Each day you will receive an email from Dr. Aziz that contains an in-depth

Strategy Session that will teach you exactly what you need to know to have

more success with women. en you will be given your mission for the day,

which is a specific action that you must take that day. e missions build

on each other and slowly take you from shyness to complete social

confidence in yourself.


http://30daystodatingmastery.com/http://30daystodatingmastery.com/http://30daystodatingmastery.com/http://30daystodatingmastery.com/http://30daystodatingmastery.com/http://30daystodatingmastery.com/


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The

The Solution To Social Anxiety

Break Free Frome Shynessats Holding You Back!

If you are a man struggling with shyness, Dr. Aziz is the guide you have been

looking for. He walks with you every step, inspiring you on the path to

liberation.is book is life changing! Dr. Landon Berger Founder,

Portland Positive Psychology

In this inspiring, breakthrough book, Dr. Azizwill guide you along the

path towards greater confidence in yourself. Youll discover whats keeping

you stuck in shyness and learn exactly what to do in order to break free.

Youll master dozens of clinically proven techniques that will help you

overcome your shyness and social anxiety!


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Documents

5 Steps to Unleash Your Inner Confdience Dr Aziz Gazipura