6066201 25 Common English Idioms

25 Common English Idiomsfor ESL Students

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The idioms and expressions below are some of the most common in English The example sentences show how idioms are used in context Have fun

1 As easy as pie means very easy (same as a piece of cake) Example He said it is a difficult problem but I dont agree It seems as easy as pie to me

2 be sick and tired of means I hate (also cant stand) Example Im sick and tired of doing nothing but work Lets go out tonight and have fun

3 Bend over backwards means try very hard (maybe too much) Example He bent over backwards to please his new wife but she never seemed satisfied

4 Bite off more than one can chew means take responsibility for more than one can manage Example John is so far behind in his studies Besides classes he plays sports and works at a part-time job It seems he has bitten off more than he can chew

5 Broke means to have no money Example I have to borrow some money from my Dad Right now Im broke

6 Change ones mind means decide to do something different from what had been decided earlier Example I was planning to work late tonight but I changed my mind Ill do extra work on the weekend instead

7 Cut it out Means stop doing something bad Example That noise is really annoying Cut it out

8 Drop someone a line means send a letter or email to someone Example It was good to meet you and I hope we can see each other again Drop me a line when you have time

9 Figure something out means come to understand a problem Example I dont understand how to do this problem Take a look at it Maybe you can figure it out

10 Fill in for someone means do their works while they are away Example While I was away from the store my brother filled in for me

11 In agersquos means for a very long time Example Have you seen Joe recently I havent seen him in ages

12 Give someone a hand means helps Example I want to move this desk to the next room Can you give me a hand

13 Hit the hay means go to bed (also hit the sack) Example Its after 12 oclock I think its time to hit the hay

14 In the black means the business is making money it is profitable Example Our business is really improving Weve been in the black all year

15 In the red means the business is losing money it is unprofitable Example Business is really going poorly these days Weve been in the red for the past three months

16 In the nick of time means not too late but very close Example I got to the drugstore just in the nick of time Its a good thing because I really need this medicine

17 Keep ones chin up means remain brave and keep on trying Example I know things have been difficult for you recently but keep your chin up It will get better soon

18 Know something like the back of your hand means know something very very well

Example If you get lost just ask me for directions I know this part of town like the back of my hand

19 Once in a while means sometimes not very often Example Have you been to the new movie theater No only see movies once in a while I usually stay home and watch TV

20 Sharp means exactly at a that time Example Ill meet you at 9 oclock sharp If youre late well be in trouble

21 sleep on it means think about something before making a decision Example That sounds like a good deal but Id like to sleep on it before I give you my final decision

22 take it easy means relax Example I dont have any special plans for the summer I think Ill just take it easy

23 to get the ball rolling means start something especially something big Example We need to get this project started as soon as possible Im hoping you will help me get the ball rolling

24 up to the minute means the most recent information Example I wish I knew more about what is happening in the capital city We need more up to the minute news

25 twenty-fourseven means every minute of every day all the time Example You can access our web site 247 Its very convenient

26 All of a sudden means unexpectedly used to describe something that happens very quickly Example He had just gone to bed when all of a sudden the phone rang

27 Be all ears means eager and ready to listen Example Go ahead and speak Im all ears

28 Be fed up with means to hate something now even though I may have liked it before Example Im fed up with my job I think I should start looking for a new one

29 to bug means to bother someone (American English) Example Hey stop tapping your fingers Its really bugging me

30 a cinch means something that is very easy to do Example I didnt think I could run five kilometers but with the right preparation it was a cinch

31 Cost an arm and a leg means very expensive Example Id really like a new car but they all cost an arm and a leg

32 To cram means to study hard a few days before a test Example If you had studied hard for the past four months you wouldnt have to cram so much this weekend

33 Fresh out of something means to have no more of something Example I have to go buy some more milk It seems were fresh out now

34 To get it (often negative) means to understand Example What did the teacher say I didnt get it Did you

35 Got a minute Means Do you have time right now Example Hey Joe got a minute I have something to show you

36 Give someone a hand means help someone Example Could you give me a hand moving this table Its quite heavy

37 Grab a bite to eat means quickly go get something to eat Example Im going to go grab a bite Ill be back in a few minutes

38 Drive someone up a wall (or drive someone crazy) means to make someone very angry Example My neighbor practices the piano every night but hes terrible Its driving me up the wall

39 To hang on means to wait Example Hang on a few minutes I have to make a phone call and then Ill be able to join you for lunch

40 Hard headed means stubborn or unwilling to change an opinion or idea Example I cant work with Joe any more Hes so hard headed

41 Have a change of heart means change a previous decision Example I thought I would change jobs but now that my boss is treating me with more respect Ive had a change of heart

42 Have mixed feelings about something means to be uncertain Example I have mixed feelings about Joe Hes a very good teacher but he has a very strange sense of humor

43 Head out for means to start on a long trip (but it could be within a big city) Example Were heading out for the countryside to pick some apples Would you like to join us

44 How come Means Why Example How come we dont go to the movies any more I guess were too busy to enjoy ourselves these days

45 keep in touch (or stay in touch) means do not stop communicating - send letters or call sometimes Example Dont forget to keep in touch I want to know how youre doing while youre away

46 Be kidding means to joke or tease someone in a playful way Example No I dont really have three wives - I was just kidding

47 Look down on means think someone or something is not good enough Example We shouldnt look down on people just because they dont have as much money as we do

48 Make ends meet (often used negatively) means to have enough money to buy everything we need Example Even though I make more money than last year we just cant seem to make ends meet

49 Miss the boat means to miss an opportunity Example The sale ends today at noon If we dont hurry were going to miss the boat

50 next to nothing means to cost very little Example I went to the new discount store and bought these new shoes for only five dollars Thats next to nothing

The 200 Most Common Words in English

It is said that 80 of all English sentences can be formed using just the most common 200 words You do NOT need many words to speak English well You must learn to USE words well

Do you know all of the words below Can you use them Then you are more than half way home

1 the 3 of 4 and 5 a 6 to 7 in 8 he 9 have 10 it 11 that 12 for

51 about 52 than 53 into 54 could 55 state 56 only 57 new 58 year 59 some 60 take 61 come

101 because 102 good 103 each 104 those 105 feel 106 seem 107 how 108 high 109 too 110 place 111 little

151 form 152 off 153 child 154 few 155 small 156 since 157 against 158 ask 159 late 160 home 161 interest

13 they 14 I 15 with 16 as 17 not 18 on 19 she 20 at 21 by 22 this 23 we 24 you 25 do 26 but 27 from 28 or 29 which 30 one 31 would 32 all 33 will 34 there 35 say 36 who 37 make 38 when 39 can 40 more 41 if 42 no 43 man 44 out 45 other 46 so 47 what 48 time 49 up 50 go

62 these 63 know 64 see 65 use 66 get 67 like 68 then 69 first 70 any 71 work 72 now 73 may 74 such 75 give 76 over 77 think 78 most 79 even 80 find 81 day 82 also 83 after 84 way 85 many 86 must 87 look 88 before 89 great 90 back 91 through 92 long 93 where 94 much 95 should 96 well 97 people 98 down 99 own 100 just

112 world 113 very 114 still 115 nation 116 hand 117 old 118 life 119 tell 120 write 121 become 122 here 123 show 124 house 125 both 126 between 127 need 128 mean 129 call 130 develop 131 under 132 last 133 right 134 move 135 thing 136 general 137 school 138 never 139 same 140 another 141 begin 142 while 143 number 144 part 145 turn 146 real 147 leave 148 might 149 want 150 point

162 large 163 person 164 end 165 open 166 public 167 follow 168 during 169 present 170 without 171 again 172 hold 173 govern 174 around 175 possible 176 head 177 consider 178 word 179 program 180 problem 181 however 182 lead 183 system 184 set 185 order 186 eye 187 plan 188 run 189 keep 190 face 191 fact 192 group 193 play 194 stand 195 increase 196 early 197 course 198 change 199 help 200 line

A Job InterviewFay needs advice from Jerry on how to succeed at a job interview in English

Fay Hi Jerry Im thinking of applying for a job with a multinational company but Im worried about having an interview in English Can you give me any good tips

Jerry Hmmm Thats a tough one I guess the first thing is to try to make a good impression We often say you never get a second chance to make a first impression You really need to get off to a good start

Fay That sounds like good advice Maybe I could sing and dance for them ha ha ha Then theyd really be impressed But seriously how do I make a good first impression

Jerry To begin with you should firmly shake the interviewers hand while greeting him or her with a smile Be sure to keep eye contact especially when listening to the interviewer

Fay Ah body language is really important isnt it

Jerry Yes it is The second thing is to have confidence You get confidence from being prepared You should learn a little bit about the company before the interview Find out what they do how long theyve been in business what their business motto is that kind of thing You should also anticipate possible questions and think about how you will answer

Fay Should I memorize my answers beforehand

Jerry No Definitely not That sounds very mechanical You should be natural when you speak Just think about how you want to answer and choose the right words at the time of the interview That way you can use the interviewers own words in your answer which shows youve been listening Then youre sure to make a good impression

Fay I never thought about that before Youre really smart Jerry But what should I do if I cant remember an English word when Im answering a question

Jerry In that case you have to paraphrase In other words you have to explain what you want to say For example if you forget the word manufacturing you can say making a product instead Or instead of statistics you could say using many big numbers to describe something

Fay Thats very helpful Jerry Thanks so much Ah one more thing Should I ask about the salary during the interview

Jerry No either let them bring up the topic of money or else wait for a second interview If you prepare well make a good first impression have confidence and use English naturally youre almost certain to be interviewed again Good luck

Fay gives Jerry some advice on how to bargain for a lower price Jerry Fay I heard that people have to bargain whenever they go shopping in China Is that true

Fay Well you dont have to bargain when you go to a department store or a supermarket but in most other places you can try to get a better price

Jerry We rarely do that in the States Im not really sure how to do it Could you give me some pointers

Fay Sure its easy Anybody can do it The first thing you must do is some research Ask around and find out what a fair price is for what you want to buy When you know what a normal price is you are ready to bargain

Jerry That makes sense If I dont know what a fair price is the seller can ask for any price and I would probably pay it So now Im ready to go to a market Whats next

Fay First ask how much something is In Chinese thats Duo Xiao qianrdquo If the price is much higher than youre willing to pay say so In Chinese you would say Tai guay le Then you ask for a lower price You should offer less than what you really want to pay

Jerry That way I can bargain up to my price right

Fay Right The seller will make a counter-offer If you think its still too high and the seller refuses to go any lower just walk away If the seller is really able to meet your price he or she will call you back In that case dont give in Keep trying to get your price

Jerry What if the seller doesnt call me back

Fay You can always try again with the next vendor If the sellers last price is not too high you might accept it Just be sure you dont pay too much

Jerry That seems pretty easy Bargaining sounds like a lot of fun

Fay It is And just like with learning a language youll get better at it the more you practice

Going to the Great WallJerry wants to visit the Great Wall so he asks Fay for some suggestions

Jerry Fay Ive heard it said that you are not a true man until youve stood on the Great Wall Id like to visit the Wall this weekend Do you know how I can get there

Fay There are two ways to go there You could go there directly by bus or train or you could join a group tour

Jerry Is one way better than the other

Fay Going with a group is certainly more convenient Everything is taken care of for you including lunch and tickets to places of interest along the way It usually costs around 100 RMB

Jerry That sounds like a good deal

Fay On the other hand if you go directly you wont stop along the way which means you can spend more time at the Wall itself Its also cheaper

Jerry Well I like to go off on my own I think going directly would be better for me Do you know how I can get there

Fay Ive heard the cheapest way is by minibus number 919 which you can catch near the Jishuitan subway station It costs only 10 yuan Theres also a train which starts on the west side of the city which goes directly to the Wall but Ive never taken it I know theres a small station outside the west gate of Beijing Aeronautics University You could go there and ask around

Jerry Thats very close to where I live so Ill check it out By the way have you ever been to the Great Wall

Fay Yes I have It was VERY impressive Not only is it so long but I was surprised at how steep the steps are Its almost like climbing a mountain The scenery from the wall is quite spectacular Looking out from the Wall you can really get a sense of history

Jerry Great Im really looking forward to it So Fay since youve been to the Great Wall you are a true man right

Fay Yes now I drink lots of beer and even smoke cigars

Jerry Really

Fay Of course not Im just kidding

Visiting a Primary SchoolJerry tells Fei about his first visit to a Chinese primary school

Jerry Hi Fei how was your day

Fei Hi Jerry Ive been looking for you Where have you been

Jerry I just had a very interesting experience I spent the whole day with dozens of little children

Fei That sounds like fun

Jerry Yes it was fun but exhausting Kids have so much energy

Fei Where did you meet all these kids

Jerry At the primary school down the street I visited some of their classes in the morning then taught them some simple English in the afternoon

Fei English must be very difficult for them

Jerry Actually they were very eager to learn I was quite impressed

Fei What did you teach them

Jerry One teacher gave me some sentences to practice The kids love to repeat things out loud Sometimes I shouted the sentences and they shouted back at me Other times I whispered and they whispered back They were very cute

Fei Yes I can imagine

Jerry We also sang songs and played some English games together

Fei Thats great You know when I was in primary school we never had English lessons

Jerry How about in middle school

Fei We studied English but only for a test It wasnt very practical

Jerry Well youve managed to learn English very well I guess its because youre a Super Student

Fei Ha ha ha Not me The kids you saw today seem to be much more super than I am Theyre the future of China

Jerry Yes they are so China must have a bright future I wonder what this country will be like in 15 or 20 years when these kids are adults

New JobFei is telling Jerry about her new job with LMONOP Corporation

Fei Jerry do you remember that job interview I had a while ago

Jerry Yes you went to LMNOP Corporation right

Fei Thats right You have a good memory They called me in for a second interview

Jerry Thats a good sign It means they like you

Fei Yes I must have made a good impression on them

Jerry How did the second interview go

Fei I really prepared thoroughly for this one I asked the interview a lot of tough questions about the company and the job and then I presented my ideas on how I would do the job

Jerry What was their reaction

Fei I think I really impressed them They gave me a job right on the spot

Jerry Thats great What will you are doing for them

Fei I will have several duties to perform The first is to organize meetings Then Ill have to present plans to clients

Jerry Do you mean that you will have to give speeches

Fei Yes something likes that I will give formal presentations I have to admit Im a bit nervous about that

Jerry Im sure youll do fine as long as you prepare as well as you prepared for the interview

Fei Ill have more to do than that Ill also have to follow-up through email or on the telephone I think Im going to be very busy Do you have any tips for me

Jerry Youll have to learn how to manage your time well

Fei How can I manage my time

Jerry Well the first thing you have to do is prioritize

Fei I know that prior means before but I cant figure out what prioritize means

Jerry It means to decide what should come first In other words what are your most important tasks You should spend most of your time on the most important projects

Fei Oh yes Ive heard of that Isnt there a rule something like the 80-20 rule

Jerry Exactly Yoursquore most important projects will be about 20 of your total work but theyre so important that you should devote 80 of your time and effort to them The other tasks arent so important so they can be put off til later

Fei I see I cant put off the most important jobs so I have to be sure to get those done no matter what

Jerry Im sure youll do just fine in your new job When are you going to start

Fei In two weeks Im really excited about it

Preparing for Summer Vacation

Fay asks Jerry about his plans for the summer and is a bit surprised Fay Hi Jerry The school year is almost over Do you have any plans for the summer holiday

Jerry Im planning on sleeping all day every day

Fay Oh come on Jerry you must be kidding

Jerry Yeah Im just pulling your leg Actually Im going to go down to Guizhou Province

Fay Really Why would you go to Guizhou Its not a very popular tourist site

Jerry Exactly Its not very popular so it wont be too crowded I enjoyed my trip to the Great Wall but there were so many people there I think it spoiled the atmosphere a bit

Fay Im sure Guizhou wont be so crowded But wont it be too hot in the summer

Jerry No according to one of my students its very cool in the summer He said it is naturally air conditioned

Fay Well that sounds good I wouldnt mind getting away from the Beijing heat myself Still I wonder is there anything worth seeing in Guizhou

Jerry Sure For one thing theres the beautiful natural scenery Im sure youve heard of the Huang Guo Shu Waterfalls Theres also the Mailing Gorge which is said to be spectacular There are mountains everywhere in Guizhou even in the capital city of Guiyang

Fay Yes I have heard of Huang Guo Shu Pubu but wont you get bored just looking at the scenery

Jerry Come on Fay theres lots of things to do I can go hiking in Qian Ling Park in Guiyang visit Miao villages in the southeast and I know youve heard of Zunyi a very historical city Its where Mao Ze Dong first became the leader of the Red Army

Fay Gee when you describe it like that it sounds really interesting

Jerry And thats not all Ill be able to eat very delicious spicy food drink world-famous maotai and my student told me I can meet some very beautiful women there

Fay Im sure youll have fun Jerry but let me give you some advice Be sure to hold onto your wallet AND your heart

Jerry Well see what happens

Fay Do you have a place to stay in Guizhou

Jerry Yes Im very lucky My students sister is the manager of the Guizhou Park Hotel the best hotel in the province Ive seen some pictures on the Internet its really nice But I think outside Guiyang Ill stay in a Miao village or maybe buy a tent and go camping

Fay Thats great Jerry Im looking forward to seeing your photos when you get back

Should I Go to Shanghai

Fay asks Jerrys advice about going to Shanghai to work Fay Hi Jerry Welcome back from summer vacation Did you have a good time in Guizhou

Jerry Yes I did It was everything I expected and more How about you Did you go anywhere

Fay Yes as a matter of fact I did I spent a week in Shanghai Im thinking about getting a job there

Jerry Ah Shanghai - such a wonderful city Youll really enjoy living there

Fay Hmm Im not so sure Shanghai has a lot going for it but I like Beijing too

Jerry What do you like best about Shanghai

Fay Shanghai is the business center of China so there are lots of jobs and theres always something new Its more modern than Beijing and generally a convenient place to live

Jerry Why would you want to stay in Beijing

Fay For one thing Beijing has a sense of history about it You know theres no Great Wall in Shanghai

Jerry Thats for sure Theres no Forbidden City or Summer Palace either

Fay For another thing I think people are friendlier in Beijing Still I think Id like to marry a man from Shanghai

Jerry But you just said people from Beijing are friendlier

Fay Yes generally speaking But Ive heard that men from Shanghai will help their wives with housework Thats the kind of husband for me

Hiking Up Xiang Mountain

Fay and Jerry decide to go hiking to the top of Xiang Mountain west of Beijing Jerry Wow were finally here Look at all the people

Fay It doesnt seem so crowded to me This is normal in Beijing

Jerry I guess were not the only ones who want to get more exercise (ones = people)

Fay Are you ready to start hiking

Jerry Lets see I have enough water and some snacks to eat on the way Yes Im ready Go ba

Fay Go ba In Chinese we usually say Zou ba

Jerry Yes my teacher taught that to us But Chinese zou and English go rhyme so my students sometimes combine Chinese and English - they call it Chinglish (rhyme = have the same sound)

Fay I see So the answer to Go ba in Chinglish could be Lets zou

Jerry Thats right Lets zou

(Fay smiles at Jerry and they start climbing Thirty minutes pass)

Fay Oh I think I need to take a break Im exhausted We havent gone very far How can I be so tired

Jerry Maybe you should get more exercise

Fay You dont seem to be tired at all Why not

Jerry It could be because I exercise regularly I play tennis three times a week

Fay That could be it We all need to keep our bodies in shape dont we

(Fay and Jerry arrive at the top of Xiang Mountain)

Jerry Wow what a beautiful view

Fay Look to the east We can see the Summer Palace

Jerry Oh is that Kunming Lake

Fay Yes it is And further out we can see the center of Beijing

Jerry It sure is breathtaking Im glad we came here on a clear day You know Im really glad I came to Beijing Its a very nice city very liveable

Fay Im really glad we came here today Weve had a great time together

Jerry But you need to get into better shape so we can do this kind of thing more often

Fay I guess youre right Hey I have an idea Why dont you teach me how to play tennis Then we can spend lots more time together

One Whole Year in Beijing

Jerry and Fei reflect on what theyve done in the past year Fei Jerry youve been in Beijing for a whole year now

Jerry Oh thats right I hadnt thought about it This is my first anniversary

Fei What do you think of your first year in Beijing Was it a good one

Jerry Yeah it was wonderful Now that I think about it I really did a lot Ive learned a lot of Chinese I can read more than 500 Chinese characters now

Fei And youve visited lots of new and interesting places

Jerry Thats for sure Ive seen all of the great sites in and around Beijing plus I visited Guizhou Province Not too many people from my hometown have been there before But how about you Fei You must have done some special things in the past year

Fei Yes I had a great year too thanks to you Jerry Ive really learned how to do many things My English is better than it was you taught me how to succeed at a job interview you taught me how to play tennis

Jerry Hey it wasnt me You did it all yourself You should give yourself some credit for being such a good student

Fei Dont you think its important to be modest

Jerry Sometimes it is But sometimes you have to show confidence in your ability too

Fei Okay Ill do my best Now how about this year Have you made any special plans Many Americans make some special resolution for the New Year dont they

Jerry Yes Ive made a couple of New Years resolutions Ive decided that this year Im going to learn even more Chinese I hope Ill be able to speak fluently by the end of the year Also I want to travel all around the country

Fei That will be fun Youll be able to practice Chinese while you travel Are there any special places you want to visit

Jerry I want to go all over - to the old capital city Xian to see the ice festival up north in Heilongjiang to see the beautiful island of Hainan and most of all to visit Qingdao

Fei Why do you want to see Qingdao most of all Is it because of the old style buildings Or for the clean sandy beaches Or maybe because its famous for having the most beautiful women in China

Jerry No no and no I want to go to Qingdao because of the beer

Fei Youre silly Jerry

Jerry Well what about you Fei What would you like to achieve this year

Fei Lets see Id like to learn more English so that I can watch movies and sing songs in English And Id also like to improve my performance at work

Jerry That shouldnt be too hard for you I mean for such a good student and a hard worker

Fei Thank you Jerry Its very kind of you to say so

My Favorite Place

Fei introduces Jerry to her favorite place in all of Beijing Jerry What a beautiful summers day Theres not a cloud in the sky

Fei Hey I have an idea Lets go somewhere special I can introduce you to my favorite place in Beijing

Jerry Sure Id like to see that but what is it exactly

Fei Youll see when we get there Come on we can catch the 107 bus across the street

(10 minutes later Fei and Jerry arrive They go for a walk)

Fei Can you see all those people across the street

Jerry Yes theyre all dancing I like the Chinese style music but theyre doing Western style dancing It seems a bit odd to me Are we going to dance today

Fei Not today - maybe when we get older Look beyond the dancers What do you see

Jerry Hey theres a little pond over there It looks very pleasant in the middle of a big city Lets go take a closer look I never knew there was a pond in the middle of Beijing

Fei Actually there are SIX Theyre all man-made There are two ponds to the west of the Forbidden City called Nan Hai which could be called South Pond and Zhong Hai or Middle Pond The government offices surround those Ponds so theyre not open to the public To the north of those ponds is

Jerry Let me guess It must be North Pond

Fei Good guess Youre right its Bei Hai or I suppose we could say North Pond We could see Bei Hai if we went through that gate over there but we would have to pay We can walk around the other three for free This one is called Qian Hai or Front Pond then theres Hou Hai or Back Pond Finally beyond Hou Hai is

Jerry Let me guess again Is it Beyond Pond

Fei Another good guess But this time youre wrong The sixth one is a bit to the west so its called Xi Hai or West Pond

Jerry Those people on the water seem to be having fun Can we rent a boat too

Fei Sure but I dont feel like it today Lets do it another time

Jerry Okay What are those traditional style buildings on the other side of Qian Hai

Fei Those are restaurants and coffee shops We can go over there for a rest later if you want

Jerry You know I think this would be a good place to have a drink especially on a Friday night after a long week at work Too bad there arent any bars here Maybe we could open a bar here Isnt that a great idea

Fei Ha ha ha Somebody beat you to that idea Jerry There are over 40 bars around Hou Hai Well go there some evening when you want to unwind okay

Jerry Okay its a deal

Flying Discs

Jerry is introducing Fei to a tradition from his country

Fei What is this place Its so far from the center of Beijing We seem to be in the middle of nowhere

Jerry This is the International School of Beijing where the Ultimate Frisbee club meets every Sunday

Fei What the heck is Ultimate Frisbee

Jerry Hey There are my friends over there

Fei What are they doing It looks like theyre throwing something but I cant make it out

Jerry Thats a flying disc more commonly known as a frisbee

Fei Oh I think we call it fei pan in Chinese

Jerry Fei pan Its named after you Fei

Fei Oh PLEEEEEASE Jerry Quit your teasing

Jerry You taught me about Chinese kites now I want to introduce you to this American tradition Ultimate Frisbee has really caught on as a sport since the 1970s

Fei Hey look at that guy fly

Jerry What a catch Jim isnt very tall but he sure can run

Fei I saw someone just like him catch a frisbee on TV once except it was a dog not a man

Jerry Well were just warming up now Wait until the game starts

Fei Game What kind of game

Jerry Ultimate Frisbee is a sport similar to football or basketball We have seven players on each team They have to throw and catch the disc But we MUST catch the frisbee or else the other team gets it

Fei So whats the goal of Ultimate Frisbee

Jerry The goal is to catch the disc at the end of the field beyond the goal line

Fei It sounds like a blast

Jerry It is Its fun and good exercise too Are you up for it

Fei What You want ME to play

Jerry Sure The best way to learn is to LEARN BY DOING

Happy Holidays

Jerry and Fei are comparing Christmas customs in New York and Beijing Jerry Look Fei I got a Christmas card from my sister

Fei Its very beautiful Why are the words Happy Holidays written on the card Christmas is only one holiday Shouldnt it be Happy Holiday without the s

Jerry We dont just celebrate Christmas during this season We also celebrate the coming of the New Year

Fei Oh I never thought about that before Theres more than one holiday at the end of the year

Jerry Now that Im in China I want to celebrate the holidays Chinese-style What do you and your family do for Christmas

Fei Actually we dont do much at Christmas Its not really a big family holiday Young people in China would rather spend Christmas Eve with their boyfriends or girlfriends

Jerry So is it something like a date night

Fei Yes I guess you could say that Christmas Eve is special but we dont usually have any special plans for Christmas Day

Jerry Dont people give gifts to each other like they do in the US

Fei Many parents do give gifts to their kids But more importanly boyfriends give wonderful special romantic gifts to their girlfriends

Jerry I see How about the New Year in China Is it a bigger holiday than Christmas

Fei Not really We dont celebrate it because the Spring Festival is much more important to us here in China

Jerry The Spring Festival is known around the world as Chinese New Year Its the beginning of the year according to the traditional lunar calendar isnt it

Fei Thats right The Spring Festival is the biggest family holiday in China so we dont celebrate the western New Year How about in New York Do people celebrate New Years Eve more or New Years Day

Jerry There are two kinds of people who celebrate quite differently Single people or couples without children often go out late on New Years Eve They drink and party after the clock strikes midnight There are big parties all over but the biggest is in Times Square in Manhattan

Fei I guess they wont have much energy left over to do anything on New Years Day then

Jerry Right But there are families who dont do anything special on New Years Eve Instead they celebrate with their families on New Years Day

Fei What do they do on New Years Day

Jerry They have a big meal to celebrate and often watch parades in the big cities The parades are quite spectacular

Fei It sounds a little bit like our traditional Lion Dance

Jerry Yes its a lot like the Lion Dance except there is no lion

Read this conversation aloud to practice speaking EnglishFei talks to Jerry about a popular hobby

Jerry Hi Fei hows the new job going

Fei Its very exciting and Im really learning a lot At the same time its also quite tiring I need a break today

Jerry How about if we go to lunch together

Fei No I want to do something more active I have an idea Why dont we go to the park and fly a kite

Jerry Are you kidding

Fei No Im serious Flying kites is an ancient tradition here Look I have this kite my uncle gave me

Jerry Hey its a butterfly It must look really cool flying high in the sky

Fei So are you up for it

Jerry Okay But where can we fly a kite in such a big city

Fei We can go just down the street at the Workers Stadium

Jerry You can fly kites in the stadium

Fei Well not exactly But we can fly them in the parking lot Lets go

Jerry Okay Im right behind you

(Twenty minutes later they arrive at the north gate of the Workers Stadium)

Jerry Wow So many kites

Fei Watch your step Dont get run over by the rollerskaters

Jerry I have to watch out for those football players too I didnt know this is such a popular place

Fei I used to come here as a kid to play and at night my mother and grandmother sometimes came to dance

Jerry All of these kites are really beautiful Look at that long one over there It looks like a dragon to me

Fei Thats right it is The dragon is really impressive but I prefer the bird kite over there Dont you think its amazingly graceful

Jerry Yes it looks like a real bird flying It obviously takes real skill to fly these special kites Im eager to see your butterfly up among the clouds

Fei Okay hold onto the kite while I get the string ready On the count of three let go One Two Three Here we go

This English conversation first appeared in College English magazine in 2004

Choosing GiftsFei is helping Jerry decide what gifts to give to his family back home

Fei Hi Jerry Jerry Oh Jerry

Jerry Oh hi Fei I didnt hear you approaching

Fei You were really lost in thought Or were you sleeping

Jerry No I wasnt sleeping just thinking

Fei About what

Jerry Well Ill be going back home to visit my family for a couple of weeks

Fei Thats great Its been a while since youve seen them hasnt it

Jerry Yes its been quite a while

Fei So you must be thinking about how happy youll be to see them again

Jerry Yes thats true But Im also thinking about what kinds of gifts I should bring back from China for everyone - my brother my sister her husband and daughter and of course for my parents

Fei Of course you want to bring back some traditional things How about some Chinese kites

Jerry Hey thats a good idea You and I had a lot of fun flying kites together Im sure my niece would get a kick out of flying a Chinese-style kites too

Fei And maybe you could bring back some masks from the Beijing Opera

Jerry Fei youre a genius Beijing Opera masks are not only very colorful theyre very exotic too My parents will really like them Okay now I have to think of something to buy my sister Thats a tough one

Fei Dont be so pessimistic Jerry Does she like exotic fashions Maybe you could bring back a qipao a traditional Chinese dress

Jerry Of course Another great idea How do you think of these ideas so easily Fei

Fei Hey you said it before Im a genius Ha ha ha

Jerry Okay now the toughest people to shop for - my brother and my sisters husband What in the world could I bring back for them

Fei Didnt you tell me that your brother is studying Chinese now

Jerry Yes thats right He hopes to come to China after he graduates from university

Fei So why not buy him a DVD so that he can watch a movie in Chinese

Jerry Sure hed love that Hes crazy about kung fu movies so he can have fun and learn at the same time You amaze me Fei

Fei Geniuses will do that Okay now for your brother-in-law I think youre on your own there

Jerry Well I could just get him a Ive been to the Great Wall t-shirt

Fei Or maybe hed like a Chinese kite too Or maybe a kung fu DVD

Jerry Right or maybe a qipao

Fei Thats a silly idea

Jerry Yes youre right Hes much too fat to wear a qipao

Traditional Chinese MedicineFei gives some advice to Jerry who isnt feeling well

Fei Hi Jerry whats wrong You look a bit under the weather

Jerry Im not feeling very well I seem to be coming down with another cold

Fei Not again You had a cold last month and the month before that too

Jerry Well theres not much I can do about it Im not sick on purpose All I can do is take some medicine and take it easy

Fei Would you mind if I made a suggestion

Jerry No I dont mind Go ahead

Fei Maybe you should try some traditional Chinese medicine

Jerry If it can help me get rid of this cold Id be willing to give it a shot

Fei Actually it might not make a difference with this cold but it can make your whole body stronger so you wont catch so many colds

Jerry Whats so special about traditional Chinese medicine

Fei One special point is that its all natural Chinese medicine is made from plants not chemicals which means there are few side-effects

Jerry Thats a big advantage Some people cant stand the thought of taking medicine because of all the chemicals

Fei Another advantage is that Chinese medicine works slowly so it keeps your body healthy in the long run

Jerry That sounds like just what I need But how does traditional Chinese medicine work

Fei Basically it helps balance two opposing forces in your body In Chinese we call these forces Yin which is cold dark and quiet and Yang which is hot bright and active If you have either too much Yin or too much Yang your body is out of balance and you are more likely to get sick The purpose of traditional Chinese medicine is to put Yin and Yang back in balance

Jerry I see So how can I get my hands on some Chinese medicine Can I buy it in any pharmacy

Fei First you should be examined by a traditional doctor I know a good doctor just around the corner

Jerry Im a bit afraid Fei Will he give me any shots or anything like that

Fei Dont be afraid Jerry The doctor will just feel your pulse and check the color of your tongue Its very simple and painless

Jerry Great I have some free time at the end of next week Hows your schedule on Thursday or Friday

Fei Im free both days Ill call the doctor to set up an appointment then let you know what has been decided

Jerry Thats wonderful Fei It should be a very interesting experience for me

KaraokeFei invites Jerry to go sing some songs with her friends

Fei Hey Jerry my friends just invited me to go to ka la okay with them tonight Would you like to come along

Jerry Where are you going California Do you mean karaoke We pronounce it carry oh key in English with the emphasis on the oh

Fei Oh I see Do you want to go to karaoke with us Itll be fun

Jerry Fei I feel nervous when someone hands me a microphone I freeze I know Im not a very good singer

Fei Thats strange I thought Americans were very outgoing

Jerry Not me Im very shy especially in front of a group of strangers

Fei Hey my friends arent strange

Jerry Strangers just means people I dont know It doesnt mean they are strange Was it easy for you to sing the first time you went to karaoke

Fei For me it was very easy I love to sing But now that you mention it some of my friends were very shy the first time they went One of my friends says he has to have some beer before he can sing in front of people Maybe you should have one or two drinks before singing

Jerry Yeah one or two beers might help or twenty

Fei Does that mean youll come

Jerry Okay Ill give it a try

At the karaoke club

Jerry Oh its a private room I thought wed be singing in a crowded bar or restaurant

Fei No we have this all to ourselves

Jerry That will make it easier maybe Now how does this work

Fei Its simple Just choose a song and sing Do you know Hotel California

Jerry Sure everybody knows it

Fei Great here it comes now Good luck Jerry

Jerry What do you mean Im not ready to sing yet I havent even had ONE beer

Fei Youll just have to do your best You know what they say Just do it

Jerry starts to sing Two hours later

Fei Jerry how many songs have you sung

Jerry Oh at least 10

Fei I think its been more like 20 Time to go home

Jerry Time to go home But were just getting started Lets stay half an hour more

Fei Sorry we have to go to work in the morning and you have to study Well come back some other night

Jerry Great How about tommorrow

The Olympic Games in BeijingBoth Fay and Jerry have decided to stay in Beijing They are talking about the future

Jerry Fay have you decided to stay in Beijing

Fay Yes I have Shanghai is exciting but Beijing is still home

Jerry Thats a good idea Youll be happier here I think Ill stay here for a while myself at least until the Summer Olympics in 2008

Fay Oh really Do you plan to go see the games while youre here

Jerry Sure the Olympics are very exciting Its like one big party I had fun when I went to previous Olympics

Fay What You mean youve been to the Olympics before

Jerry Yes I spent a few days in Atlanta in 96 and I saw the Winter Olympics in Nagano Japan in 98 too You can see so many different people hear different languages do all kinds of things You can even see some sports if you really want to

Fay Ha ha ha Youre really funny Jerry So did you see many events

Jerry Actually I didnt see so many Believe it or not its better to watch the sports events at home Its more comfortable you can see the games up close and you get different camera angles Unless you can get good seats watching in person isnt nearly as good

Fay That sounds very disappointing Why should anyone go to see the Olympics

Jerry Its not disappointing at all The atmosphere is what makes it all worthwhile Also I got into collecting and trading Olympic pins when I was there You can trade pins with people from all over the world I now have pins from more than 20 different countries Its a fun way to meet all kinds of people

Fay Did you meet any athletes

Jerry Yes as a matter of fact I met some of the Chinese women ice hockey players when I was in Japan They gave me this China pin in exchange for an American pin

Fay I think Id like to have a Beijing 2008 Olympic pin I wonder where I can get one

Jerry Well Fay I just happen to have one right here

Fay Really Can I have it

Jerry Sure What do you have to trade for it

Taking a Taxi

Jerry is worried about using a taxi in China so he asks his Liu Fay how to use a taxi in Beijing

Jerry Hey Fay is there anything I need to know about taking a taxi in Beijing

Fay Well itrsquos pretty easy Jerry The first thing you have to do is to signal by holding your hand out Next you should find the right taxi If you want to save money you should find a taxi that charges only 120 (ldquoone point twordquo) yuan per kilometer If you want a more comfortable taxi you can pay 160 yuan The price is printed on a label shown in the back window of each taxi

Jerry Okay So what do I do after I get in the taxi

Fay Of course you should greet the driver and tell him where you want to go After he starts driving make sure he turns on the meter

Jerry What should I do if he canrsquot find my destination

Fay Then you have to give him directions Tell him to turn left or right Thatrsquos ldquozou guairdquo or ldquoyou guairdquo in Chinese Or tell him to keep going straight ldquoyizhi wang qian zourdquo

Jerry Got it Then I guess all I have to do is pay the driver and say ldquogood-byerdquo right

Fay Well not quite You should always ask for a receipt which is printed out for every customer That way if you forget something in the taxi you can get it back with no problem

Jerry Thanks Fay thatrsquos a big help

Surfing the Internet

Fay and Jerry talk about what they like to do online Fay Hey Jerry how often do you use the Internet

Jerry Oh I use it everyday I check my email read the news chat with family and friends all around the world I love the Internet

Fay Yeah its great isnt it Sometimes I stay online for hours So how do you connect to the Net

Jerry Usually I just dial 163 or 96600 to log on and I get billed directly to my telephone account Its quite convenient

Fay That must be slow I have an ADSL connection so I can download pictures and music

Jerry Well Fay Im going to get a high-speed connection too just as soon as Im as rich as you

Fay Poor poor Jerry I really feel sorry for you Ha ha ha

Jerry Dont worry about me Kiddo I can still do everything I want Just today I went to the New York Times to read about whats happening back home then I searched for some information about how to play tennis better and finally I used some software called Pal Talk to chat with friends in France Japan and Argentina

Fay Thats cool You chat with them by typing text messages right

Jerry Not only text I do voice chat too I have a microphone and speakers Its like using a telephone but a whole lot cheaper

Fay Hey Id like to try that too Can I just go to wwwpaltalkcom

Jerry Yes thats right Once you download their software you can begin to chat right away You can speak to people all over the world and all you need is a mic

Fay That sounds like a good way to practice English But sometimes I need more stuctured English practice Do you know any good sites specially made for students learning English

Jerry Well you could try httpwwwteacherjoeus for various kinds of materials You might be able to meet some fellow students there who can help you more

Fay Thanks Jerry I think Ill try it out Oh I have to be going You wouldnt happen to know which bus I should take to get to the Foreign Book Store would you

Jerry I think you can go to bjbuscom to find information on all the bus routes in town

Fay Too bad I dont have Internet wired directly to my brain Now that would be REALLY convenient

Jerry Well maybe some day Fay maybe some day

Learning to Play Tennis

Jerry is giving Fay her first tennis lesson Fay Jerry could you show me how to hold the racket

Jerry Sure Fay its just like shaking hands Hold your hand out as though you were going to shake my hand

Fay Do you mean like this

Jerry Right like that Then put the racket in your hand like this

Fay So now Im ready to hit the ball

Jerry Remember what I told you There are two types of swings the forehand and the backhand

Fay I remember You told me hitting a forehand starting on my right is like hitting a ping pong ball

Jerry Exactly Why dont you try one now Ready Hit this

Fay Oops I missed it completely

Jerry Thats okay try again This time keep your eye on the ball

Fay Keep my eye where

Jerry Its just an expression Keep your eye on the ball means watch the ball carefully

Fay Oh I see Let me try again

Jerry Here comes another ball Wow You hit it over the fence Youre a very powerful lady

Fay Hee hee hee I guess I need to practice more

Jerry Sure but with a bit of practice youll be able to keep the ball in the court

Fay Now what about the backhand

Jerry Many people think the backhand is difficult but actually its quite simple Its a lot like slapping your boyfriend in the face

Fay Huh What do you mean

Jerry Just pull your racket back to your left then imagine you see your boyfriend with another woman

Fay Why that dirty rat

Pictures in the Park

Jerry is taking photos in the park when Fei comes along Jerry What are you doing Fei Get out of the way

Liu Fei What do you mean You dont want to take a picture of just flowers do you

Jerry No I want to take a picture of the flowers and the trees the grass the sky - a beautiful portrait of nature Ill call it Spring in Beijing

Liu Fei Hey that rhymes Spring in Beijing with Fei in the way Hee hee hee

Jerry Nothing personal Fei but Im trying to get a perfect unspoiled nature picture very pure very simple No people allowed

Liu Fei Lets just take a couple of regular pictures then you can get back to your masterpiece

Jerry Oh okay Stand to the left of that tree and strike a glamorous pose

Liu Fei Glamorous Hmmm okay Hows this Just hurry up snap the picture I cant stand on one leg all day

Jerry Okay say cheese Got it

Liu Fei Now let me take one of you

Jerry Oh no This is taking way too much time Besides it might break the camera

Liu Fei Ill be careful I promise

Jerry No I dont mean you I mean my funny face will crack the camera lens

Liu Fei Dont be silly Jerry Come on give me the camera Okay what do I do

Jerry Wait until you see me in the middle of the picture and make sure Im in focus Then just click the shutter right here Its as easy as taking candy from a baby

Liu Fei Huh Why would I want to do that

Jerry Its just an expression Fei

Liu Fei Well okay Anyway here goes Say chie zi

Jerry Good Im glad THATs over with

Liu Fei Now we need to take a picture of both of us together It will be such a wonderful memory We just have to find someone to take it for us

Jerry Oh no when will this ever end

Chinas Silicon Valley

Fei helps Jerry buy a new computer in Beijings Zhong Guan Cun district Jerry Im so glad you brought me to Zhong Guan Cun Fei I might never have found it by myself

Fei No problem Jerry Im always happy to help

Jerry Are you sure I can find what I want here

Fei Could you remind me exactly what youre looking for

Jerry I want to buy a very small computer one that is very light and easy to carry I want to be able to prepare my lessons wherever I am - in a taxi at a restaurant even at the beach

Fei Ha ha ha That would be interesting to see you writing your lessons at the beach Anyway Im sure you can find what you want here In this building they sell nothing but electronics and computers

Jerry I see so many new building under construction here I wonder what they will be

Fei They will probably be office buildings for hi tech companies This part of Beijing is called Chinas Silicon Valley

Jerry Oh I didnt know that Well lets go inside and take a look Hey look at all the cool stuff here Hmmm Maybe I should buy an MP3 player while Im here Or maybe a new mobile phone

Fei Come on Jerry We had better go upstairs or youll spend all of your money before we even SEE the computers

Jerry Okay Which floor are the computers on

Fei Lets see theres a sign over here Theyre on the 3rd and 4th floors What brand do you want to buy

Jerry I think Id like to buy a SONY

Fei Well you cant beat the quality

Jerry Yes and SONY products are usually small and light

Fei Hey here are some SONY computers Why dont you ask the price This is your chance to practice your bargaining skills

Jerry Can we bargain in a big electronics store I had no idea Fei Yes you can but you have to be good Im sure you can do it

Jerry Thanks for the vote of confidence Okay here goes Uh excuse me could you tell me how much this computer is

Looking for a New Apartment

Fei is giving Jerry advice on how to find a new apartment

Jerry I think I really need to move Fei This apartment is too noisy and too dark There are so many cars going by but no sun comes through the windows Do you think it would be easy for me to find a better apartment

Fei Sure There are lots of apartments available in Beijing these days Which part of the city would you like to live in

Jerry Id like to stay on the west side near the universities but Id also like an apartment near the subway

Fei Maybe you should consider the Xizhimen area Its a very convenient location

Jerry Yeah Xizhimen sounds good Its also near the zoo and the National Library

Fei Next you have to think about rent What price range are you thinking about

Jerry Well I really cant pay more than 1500 yuan a month but Id like to pay 1000 if possible

Fei What if you find a perfect apartment for 1800 yuan or 2000 something really beautiful Would you take it

Jerry No I really cant afford to pay that much 1500 yuan is definitely my limit

Fei I think 1000 is possible if you have a roommate You could share an apartment with a college student or maybe a young worker

Jerry That might be interesting but I really like my privacy I need to study Chinese in a quiet place and also sleep in peace every night

Fei Maybe its best for you to pay a little bit more for your own apartment So the next step is to decide what kind of apartment you want - how many rooms what kind of furnishings stuff like that

Jerry I dont need any special furnishings but I certainly want a southern exposure I like to have a bright sunny room One bedroom and one living room is enough but I really want to have a balcony

Fei That should be easy to find Most apartment buildings have rooms facing south usually with a balcony But if you only want to pay 1500 yuan maybe you will only have one room not two

Jerry I see Thats a bit small compared to my apartment in New York But I guess Beijing is more crowded

Fei Maybe well get lucky and find something bigger Lets wait and see

Jerry Okay now that I know what I want what do I have to do to actually find an apartment

Fei Ill look through some advertisements and make some phone calls Then we can go check out the ones that sound good

Jerry Thats great Fei Im really looking forward to having a nice new apartment

Fei Yes a SUNNY new apartment

Jokes to Increase Your Vocabulary

Stolen DiamondsThe phone rings at police headquarters Hello Hello is this the police Yes How can I help you Im calling to report my neighbor He is hiding stolen diamonds in some fallen trees on his property Thank you for the tip The police immediately go to the address given by the informant The police chop the trees into pieces but find no diamonds Later the phone rings at the neighbors house Hello Did the police come Yes Did they chop your firewood Yes they did Okay now its your turn to call I need my vegetable garden plowed

What ifThree guys were standing around talking about dying when one asked What would you like people to say about you as they come to pay their last respects The second man said I hope they say I was a respected doctor in my field a good family man and had lots of friends The third man said I hope they say I was a well spoken attorney a good citizen helped my fellow man and played a mean round of golf The first man replied Thats probably what will be said of the two of you My hope is that when they look down in my coffin they say Lookhes moving

South for the WinterTwo friends in the town of Saskatoon Saskatchewan Canada were just fed up with the long harsh winter so they went to a travel agent and booked a trip to Australia They arrived in Australia still wearing their down jackets wool hats and snow boots They wandered into an airport pub and sat down The locals wondered about these strangers so one of the Aussies walked over to the visitors and said Gday mates Whereer you from One of the Canadians replied Saskatoon Saskatchewan The Aussie nodded his head in acknowledgement and returned to his table where his buddies asked So where are they from Dont know replied the Aussie They dont speak English

A Foggy NightOne night at sea in a thick fog a captain noticed what appeared to be the lights of another ship approaching So he megaphoned Change course ten degrees south The answer came back You change course ten degrees north Annoyed he bellowed Im a captain and I order you to change course ten degrees south Back came the answer Im a lighthousekeeper and I order you to change course ten degrees north

Get the PictureA motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car Instead of payment he sent the police department a photograph of $40

Several days later he received a letter from the police that contained another picture - of handcuffs

A Jealous WifeA man is sitting reading his newspaper when his wife sneaks up and whacks him on the head with a frying pan What was that for he asks That was for the piece of paper in your trousers pocket with the name Mary Ellen written on it she replies Dont be silly he says Two weeks ago when I went to the races Mary Ellen was the name of one of the horses I bet on

She seems satisfied at this and apologizes Three days later he is again sitting in his chair reading when she nails him with an even bigger frying pan instantly knocking him out cold When he comes around he asks What was that for

Your horse phoned

Biology Lesson wwwteacherjoeus

One afternoon a science teacher was lecturing his class in biology Rather than just talk he planned a demonstration So he said to his students Let me show you this frog in my jacket pocket He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a chicken sandwich He looked puzzled for a second thought deeply and said Thats funny I distinctly remember eating my lunch

Time to Get Up wwwteacherjoeus

Early one morning a mother went in to wake up her son Get up son Its time to go to school But why Mom I dont want to go Give me two reasons why you dont want to go Well the kids hate me for one and the teachers hate me too Oh thats no reason not to go to school Come on now and get ready Give me two reasons why I should go to school Well for one youre 52 years old And for another youre the Principal

The Pope in New York wwwteacherjoeus

The Pope had just finished a visit to New York City and was taking a limousine to the airport Having never driven a limo he asked the chauffeur if he could drive for awhile The chauffeur a good Catholic couldnt refuse the Pope so he climbed into the back seat and let the Pope take the wheel

The Pope got on the expressway and immediately accelerated to see what the limo could do When he got to about 90 mph the Pope heard sirens and saw the flashing blue lights of the New York State police in his mirror

The Pope pulled over and a trooper came to his window The trooper seeing who it was said just a moment please I need to call in The trooper called the station and asked for the chief He told the chief Ive got a REALLY important person pulled over and I need to know what to do

The chief replied Its not the Mayor is it The trooper said No even more important The chief replied Its the Governor is it the trooper replied No even more important It cant be the President No more important said the trooper

Well WHO the HECK is it screamed the chief

I dont know who he is explained the trooper But hes got the Pope as a chauffeur

A Race Horse wwwteacherjoeus

A man was sitting reading his newspaper when his wife snuck up and whacked him real hard on the head with a frying pan

What was that for he asked

That was for the piece of paper in your trousers pocket with the name Mary Ellen written on it she replied

Dont be silly he said Two weeks ago when I went to the races Mary Ellen was the name of one of the horses I bet on

She seemed satisfied at this and apologized

Three days later he was again sitting in his chair reading when she nailed him with an even bigger frying pan instantly knocking him out cold

When he came around he asked What was that for

Your horse phoned

Ten Dollars is Ten Dollars wwwteacherjoeus

Joe and his wife Martha went to the State Fair every year Every year Joe would say Martha Id like to ride in that airplane And every year Martha would say I know Joe but that airplane ride costs ten dollars and ten dollars is ten dollars

This one year Joe and Martha went to the fair and Joe said Martha Im 70 years old If I dont ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance Martha replied Joe that airplane ride costs ten dollars and ten dollars is ten dollars

The pilot overheard them and said Folks Ill make you a deal Ill take you both up for a ride If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word I wont charge you but if you say one word its ten dollars

Joe and Martha agreed and up they go The pilot does all kinds of twists and turns rolls and dives but not a word is heard He does all his tricks over again but still not a word

They land and the pilot turns to Joe By golly I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out but you didnt

Joe replied Well I was gonna say something when Martha fell out but ten dollars is ten dollars

Highway to Hawaii wwwteacherjoeus

A guy was walking along the beach found a bottle and picked it up A magical genie popped out and said Thanks for letting me out For your kindness I will grant you one wish The guy said Ive always wanted to go to Hawaii but I cant because Im afraid to fly and ships make me deathly sick My wish is for you to build a highway from here to Hawaii The genie replied Im sorry but I dont think I can do that Just think of all the work involved Think of the huge pilings we would need to hold up that highway and how deep they would have to be to reach the bottom of the ocean And think of all the cement that would be needed Plus since its such a long span there would have to be gas stations and rest stops along the way No thats just too much to ask Impossible Think of another wish The guy thought for a moment and said Well there is one thing Ive always wanted to know Id like to be able to understand women - what makes them laugh and cry why are they so temperamental why are they so difficult to get along with you know what makes them tick The genie thought for a second then asked Do you want that highway with two lanes or four

Wife Control wwwteacherjoeus

Three men were at a bar drinking beer Two of the men were talking about the control they have over their wives while the third remained silent After a while the first two men turned to the third and asked What about you What kind of control do you have over your wife The third man turned to the first two and said Well Ill tell you just the other day I had her on her knees The first two men were dumbfounded Wow What happened next they asked The third man took a big swig of his beer sighed and muttered Then she started screaming Get out from under the bed and fight like a man

A Birthday Cake wwwteacherjoeus

A man wanted to celebrate his wifes birthday by throwing a party So he went to order a birthday cake The baker asked him what message to put on the cake He thought for a while and said Lets put You are not getting older you are getting better on the cake

The baker then asked How do you want me to arrange it The man replied Well put You are not getting older at the top and you are getting better at the bottom

The real fun didnt start until the cake was opened and everyone at the party saw the message on the cake You are not getting older at the top you are getting better at the bottom

Geography Class wwwteacherjoeus

An elementary school teacher was trying to encourage her students to be active in class While teaching geography she looked at one student and said Stanley go to the map and find North America Stanley stood up went to the front of the room where a world map was hanging and pointed to North America Correct the teacher exclaimed Now class can anyone tell me who discovered America The whole class shouted together Stanley

A Lucky Frog wwwteacherjoeus

In the United States you can call a telephone number and someone will predict your future This is called the psychic hotline Well one day a little green frog decided to call the psychic hotline and see what his future held for him The psychic told him You will meet a very beautiful girl who will want to know everything about you Thats great said the frog Where will I meet her At a party in the pond The psychic hesitated then responded You will meet her next semester in the Biology lab

I cant stand to see a grown man cryA man was standing at a bar just staring at his drink He stayed there motionless for half an hour Then a big trouble-making truck driver walked up to him grabbed the drink away from the man and drank it all down in one gulp The poor man started crying The truck driver said Come on man I was just joking Here Ill buy you another drink I cant stand to see a grown man cry No I dont want another drink This day is the worst of my life First I overlept and got to my office after 10 My boss was outraged and fired me When I left the building and went to the parking lot I found my car was stolen The police said that they cant do anything about it I got a cab to return home and when I got out I suddenly remembered that I left my wallet and credit cards on the seat but the cab driver drove away quickly Then I went home and when I got there I found a note saying that my wife left me for good I couldnt stand staying at home by myself so I came to this bar And now just when I was thinking about putting an end to my miserable life you show up and drink my poison

Its All RelativeAlbert Einstein whose theory of relativity changed the study of physics forever climbed to the top of a very high mountain to get close enough to talk to God Looking up he asked the Lord God what does a million years mean to you He was surprised to receive an answer at once The Lord replied A minute So Einstein asked And what does a million dollars mean to you The Lord replied A penny Then Einstein asked Can I have a penny The Lord replied In a minute

A Quick Review of Key Grammar Points for Students of English as a Second Language

1 General Tips to help you learn English Grammar Studying too much grammar can actually make your speaking worse not better Most students study

then forget study and forget study and forget Instead of memorizing Super Students learn English grammar in context the natural way

Focus your efforts on grammar points that you can use again and again in your conversations The most important are NOUNS VERBS and ASKING QUESTIONS

Do not worry so much about English prepositions transitive and intransitive verbs phrasal verbs etc These are details that you will master in time You should focus first on sentence patterns that you can use over and over again

2 Master these three grammar points and you WILL be a better speaker

Asking and Answering Questions

Verb Tenses Past Present and Future

Noun Phrases

Asking and Answering QuestionsThe First Key to Using English Grammar

There are two question types you must master before you can speak English well 1) YesNo Questions and 2) Wh- Questions1) YesNo Questions - Listen carefully to these questions then use the same question words when you answer

1 Do or Did Do you like pizza Yes I do 2 Can Can you play the piano No I cant 3 Be(IsAreWasWere) Are you from Singapore

Were you at home last night 4 Will Will you come here tomorrow 5 Have + past participle Have you seen any good movies lately 2) Wh- Questions - use a Wh- question word with a YesNo question word

1 Who Who is your favorite singer 2 What What kind of music do you like 3 When When will you finish your work

4 Where Where can I buy a good suit 5 Why + past participle Why didnt you call me last week 6 How + past participle How can we get to the supermarket from here

How long does it take to get there

How far is it from here

Verb Tenses The Second Key to English Grammar

I dont usually recommend memorizing anything but this is one table you should try to remember completely (The seven tenses in blue are the most common You will use these almost every day so learn them first)

Twelve Basic Verb Tenses

Past Present Future

1) Simple Tenses walked walk will walk

2) Continuous Tenses

was walking am walking will be walking

3) Perfect Tenses had walked have walked will have walked

4) Perfect Continuous Tenses

had been walking have been walking will have been walking

Sample Sentences

bull 1) Simple Tenses describe actions that are only one moment in time

I walked to school yesterday

I walk to school every day

I will walk to school next Tuesday

bull 2) Continuous Tenses describe actions that continue then another action happens more quickly

I was walking to school last Friday when it suddenly started to rain

He is walking to school now but you can find him if you hurry

I will be walking to school this time next week so you will be able to find me easily

bull 3) Perfect Tenses describe TWO moments in time with emphasis on the second one

I had walked halfway to school before I remembered that I didnt have my books

I have always walked to school (Emphasis is not spoken It is on the experience I have now - I am a person NOW who walks not drives or takes a bus or rides a bicycle)

By the time the year is over I will have walked a total of 300 kilometers

bull 4) Perfect Continuous Tenses describe actions that continue between TWO moments in time

I had already been walking halfway to school when I remembered that I left my book at home

I have been walking to school since I was 6 years old

When I finish high school I will have been walking to school for 12 years

Longer Noun PhrasesThe Third Key to English Grammar

Students must move beyond single words and start to use longer and longer phrasesExample 1 - adding details

boy a boy a tall boy a tall slim boy a tall slim boy with black hair a tall slim boy with long black hair

Example 2 - giving more information

a girl a girl who likes basketball a girl who is good at basketball a girl who is quite good at basketball a girl who is quite good at shooting a basketball

Learn Noun Phrases in Context

There are many kinds of noun phrases By reading and listening to English as often as you can you will learn to use these kinds of phrases naturally and easily Good luck

A Job Interview

Going to the Great Wall

Visiting a Primary School

New Job





My Favorite Place

Flying Discs

Happy Holidays

Read this conversation aloud to practice speaking English

Choosing Gifts

Traditional Chinese Medicine

Karaoke

The Olympic Games in Beijing

Taking a Taxi







Stolen Diamonds

What if

South for the Winter

A Foggy Night

Get the Picture

A Jealous Wife











I cant stand to see a grown man cry

Its All Relative


1 General Tips to help you learn English Grammar



There are two question types you must master before you can speak English well 1) YesNo Questions and 2) Wh- Questions



Students must move beyond single words and start to use longer and longer phrases