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By: Samuel Clemens Angelo State’s Finest Paper Since Fall 2006 Continued on page 3 Volume 6, Issue 1 Insane Answering Message Day January 30, 2008
Citation preview
A NEW YEAR, A NEW DIRECTION?
Share and share alike is a phrase whose origins are largely unknown. Nonethe‐less this phrase is often used, especially with small children, to stress the idea that being selfish is a terrible attribute to possess. Our parents, teachers, and even some of the more nosy parents of our friends try mightily to convince us that we should share everything that we have to make others, as well as our‐selves, feel, on the whole, happier about who we are. But, sooner or later, that trait is lost to us all. We are sucked in by the popular mentality that we should be looking out for number one, namely ourselves. This is especially true of any number of college campuses, or‐ganizations, and even governing bodies. But what would happen if the idea of share and share alike were carried out and continued throughout people's lives? Wouldn't the world, by virtue of the idyllic thought that sharing people are happier people, be an all together better place? Certainly we can hope so. Take for instance, our own fair campus. What if we, as a collective body, took it upon ourselves to begin this idea of sharing equally? Could we not better our surroundings and the lives of every‐one around us if we were all equal parts of the whole instead of relying on oth‐
ers to lord over us? A like‐minded col‐lective of people is surely more effective than a structured caste system. That is why I believe that we, the students of ASU, should adopt and enact a more fair and balanced idea of community. We should all live in harmony with one an‐other and transform ourselves and our campus into a progressive, autonomous, Communist utopia ‐ the first ever in the history of higher education. Oh, I am sure many of your backs bristled at the mention of the word Communist, but when you really think about it, Commu‐nism IS the American dream. Go ahead, laugh, I won't mind. I can explain this to you. When you hear the word Commu‐nism, I am sure there are any number of crazed thoughts that cross your mind. You think of Russia, or Marx, or Stalin, or Lenin, perhaps even Castro or Trot‐sky. All of whom failed at achieving the pure Communist state, but not because the idea of Communism itself is a terri‐ble though, rather because other phi‐losophic ideals from seemingly greater world powers imposed their will. Pure Communism is a state of existence where production and policy are de‐cided upon by the
Continued on page 3
By: Samuel Clemens
page
Volume 6, Issue 1 Insane Answering Message Day
January 30, 2008
Ang
elo State’s Fine
st Pap
er Since Fall 200
6
Picture of the week
2
“There's a fine line between genius and sarcasm” ‐Garrett Lively Quote of the Week
Ahh, good ol’ Trey. What a guy! As far as my experience has taken me, there is only one man alive who can teach you Calculus one day, and school you in a unicycle race the next. Of the eggheads I know, his head is the least eggy. I’ll let you ponder what I mean by that. Trey is certainly one of the best there is at dumbing down com‐plicated math concepts to the point that they become under‐
s t a n d a b l e . Some people, such as Dr. Di‐minie, may suggest that this is simply because he really doesn’t understand it either, but I disagree. I think this is a brilliant man, full of knowl‐
edge and fun and a squishy marshmallow center. The only way he could be better would be if he could just be more like Dr. Huckaby.
The Eggheads of Today
Dr. John C. “Trey” Smith, III
Knowing Knature By: D’ino I’talles
LEMONS ARE GOOD FOR SEX When push comes to shove, eat a lemon. Lemons are sour. Sour flavors seem to permeate the skin. Skin grafts are useful if you are burned in a fire. Fire in the sky. Sky rockets in flight, after‐noon delight. Delight in the ways of the Lord. Lord Tennyson was a poet. Poets are people who write poetry. Poetry is a form of writing in which the words often seem to rhyme. Rhyme scheme is how poems are made. Made is a show on MTV that takes pathetic losers and transforms them into slightly improved versions of losers. Losers are the ones who score the least amount of points in a game. Game on! On is a position of a light switch. Switch hitting is a euphe‐mism for being bisexual. Bisexuals are creepy. Creepy things make people feel awkward and lonely. Lonely teardrops is a song from the 1950's that some guy sings. Sing, sing a song. Song is a poem set to music. Music is noise that is ar‐ranged in a pleasing manner so that you don't think you are going to go prema‐turely deaf. Deaf people can do amazing things. Things are objects that are of amorphous shapes and are often nonde‐script because of sloth. Sloth is an ani‐mal that moves very slowly. Slowly, slowly the boat sank to the bottom of
the sea. Sea gulls are annoying birds that are always hungry. Hungry people die more quickly than people who have food. Food is any manner of sustenance that one ingests to maintain health. Health issues are the predominant rea‐son people seem to die. Dying is a part of life, or so they tell us at funerals be‐cause they have nothing better to say. Say, brother can you spare a dime. Dime is an amount of marijuana you can buy, typically for about twenty bucks. Bucks are deer. Deer jerky tastes really good. Good things come to those who wait is just a way of saying leave me the hell alone. Alone is how people feel when there is no one else around. Around the bend there is a tree. Trees can grow to be hundreds of feet tall. Tall girls are often mistaken as dudes or lesbians. Lesbians enjoy many fine traditions in the bedroom. Bedrooms often have beds in them so that people can do disgusting things in them. Them is an innocuous way of saying people. People are disgusting creatures of habit. Habits often are things that we do because we are bored or perverted. Perverted peo‐ple have sex with weird things like lem‐ons.
Coming to you post‐live from the depths of the known universe, we bring you our unique tales of exploration and exploitation of the realm of physics. And now for your enjoyment – this seg‐ment on propulsion: By far one of the most important this that physics has allowed us to study is the phenomenon of propulsion. It is by this means that we move from one place to another by means other than walking –which can be tiresome. It is fasci‐nating to note at this point that most all propulsion methods come from destructive means placed under control. What it is I’m talking about? Explosions! Yes that’s right dear readers,
explosions are what literally drive us around the place. But how is this physics? Isn’t an ex‐plosion a chemical reaction of sorts? Indeed it is, however, it is not the explosion that is the means of propulsion rather the control of the explosion. Every car that is on the roads today is an engine of destruction and explosiveness. Each one har‐nesses the explosions contained within its tiny yet powerful en‐gine. Gas is pumped in, a spark ignites the gas (which is mixed with oxygen) and the resulting explosion drives a piston. The key is in the pistons – these tools take the explosive energy and turn it into mechanical energy.
This energy then drives a series of gears and drive shafts that propel the car forward. Well, ok, but what about a rocket you ask? Rockets don’t have pistons you say? Well, this is true, but rock‐ets work on an entirely different physical principal: Thrust! Rock‐ets take liquid oxygen and liquid hydrogen and mix the two to‐gether then combust them (see?!? Physics is all about explo‐sions!!). The resulting explosion – which is sustained so long as there is fuel present – is forced through a specially designed nozzle which focuses the energy of the explosion into a down‐ward direction. Or as is the case in space – a direction away from
the rocket. As the explosive en‐ergy is pushed away from the combustion chamber the laws of Newton take hold. For every reaction there is an equal yet opposite reaction! Force of ex‐plosion going down pushes the rocket up, propelling us to new heights and farther horizons. This is the realm of physics – ap‐plying the principles of the worlds around us to seek out the undiscovered country that awaits us just over the horizon.
Thanks for reading, and as al‐ways… …see ya around the galaxy!
By: Albert Einstein
3
entire populous democrati‐cally. Oh, what? Democracy in Communism? Surely you jest. Nope, not a bit. Democ‐
racy, as it pertains to politics, is a way of allowing the peo‐ple of a state to participate ‐ an idea that our existing gov‐ernment has been able to exploit. Within the democratic political state then, Economics is able to be manipulated to favor those who favor themselves ‐ Capitalism. An eye for an eye, what's mine is mine and you're screwed. But within Communism, the economic AND political stratagems and policies are formed by all people and voted on by all people, the key word being ALL. So why can't we enact that here at ASU? It would certainly be a step in the right direction as far as ballooning tuition, housing, and educational supplemen‐tary costs are concerned. Not to mention that it would cre‐ate a more harmonious balance between every underlying clique that exists on campus at present. Which, with our new President now firmly in office, America seems to be moving in at least a more Socialist direction, so why not go that extra step past the intermediary and go Communist. In the coming weeks, I will attempt to delineate this thought further for your consideration, but for now I simply wanted to introduce to you an idea for thought.
Continued from cover
Communism
(July 16, 2008, Italy) Gerhard Adolf Zeitler Plattner, 68, was queued at a traffic light in his Porsche Cayenne sports car. Be‐fore one reaches the light, there is a railroad crossing. As you might imagine, given Murphy's Law, a train was coming.
The man did not let the queue progress forward far enough before he crossed the railroad. The safety bars came down, leaving the Porsche trapped on the rails. It took the driver awhile to realize he was stuck, according to witnesses. Finally, he jumped from the car and started to run ‐‐ toward the oncoming train, waving his arms in an attempt to save his car!
The attempt was successful. The car received less damage than its owner. He was pushed hard enough to land 30 meters away, and attempts to revive him were unsuccessful.
Darwin Awards Aires‐ I think gas prices are going
up. Eat more beans! Taurus‐ drinking water makes
you fat. You better try the diet water. There’s no fat in diet water.
Gemini‐ howdy do good neighbor? I see you bein’ gangsta!
Cancer‐ there are some weird, nasty people on TV right now.
Leo‐ trying to write this and chat with your cousin is kind of hard.
Virgo‐ how much does an ele‐phant weigh? Yea... the good kind?
Libra‐ for you, Dr. Rallo Scorpio‐ holy crap! It’s a flying
donkey! Why is a flying don‐key flying over San Angelo? I do wonder….
Sagittarius‐ that vitamin/
supplement “airborne” is a hoax. Do you want to make it cheap? Get seltzer water, and a crap ton of vitamin C, and voila!
Capricorn‐ GOOGLY WOOGLY Aquarius‐ I just noticed my
apartment has 7 doors. And its less than 700 sq. ft. how pointless is that?
Rambelle of the Week Codi CraddockCodi CraddockCodi Craddock
Horoscopes
Codi is pretty much the cool‐est person you’ll ever meet. She’s also one of the best study mates you’ll ever have. Too bad she’s already graduated and doesn’t have to study anymore. Lucky girl… She also has a really cool boyfriend. His name is Kevin.
Oh, and t h e y b o t h proud ly support the Ram‐diculous Page. That’s why we like them so much. Not cause they’re cool or any‐thing. Just cause they like us.
We are your voice, the voice of the Students of Angelo State. Be heard, we would like to know what you love
about ASU, what you hate about ASU and what you think needs to be changed around here. We are here for YOU!
If you have a comment, complaint, concern, or question, don’t hesitate to contact us. Via email [email protected], via phone (325) 942‐2063, via our suggestion box in the
UC, in our office UC 133 or even come attend our meetings at 6 PM on Monday nights.
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I had the most horrifying experience in college life. So my roommate told me that I should stop knocking on our bed‐room door because I live there too. So I did and I was mind‐ing my own business on my way to deliver my roommate something I promised her and I walk in on her you know do‐ing the dirty. I’m so embarrassed. Now the reason I am writ‐ing you is for that one column that has the awkward stuff…and this situation is the most awkward I have ever been in my life…I am eternally scarred.
Awkwardness...
now an interactive
media experience
ramdiculous.com/store
Ah, what a glorious break. I hope your Christmas was as event‐filled as mine, especially considering I got to watch the Choklahoma Sooners yet again lose another title game. No, but really, as Christmas began to approach I felt the need to do something with my idle time. Being lazy and lounging around the house was simply not fulfill‐ing anymore, and I decided that I would become a part‐time entrepreneur. When you have a lot of time on your hands you can come up with some crazy ideas. The ideas have been as‐signed a dollar sign ranking sys‐tem based on how profitable I think they could be: •Ugly or disfigured manne‐
quins. Think about it, every mannequin you see in the store is anatomically correct. If you had a piece of clothing on one of these puppies, people would immediately realize that it's not just because the mannequin looks good that the clothes look good. Think along the lines of the clothes making the man, after all if you can make a terri‐ble looking mannequin look good with the clothes, imagine what those clothes could do for a handsome young fellow like me. People would be buying your clothes like crazy, even if it is just a gimmick. $$$$ •Drinks that are hot on the out‐side but cold on the inside. Seri‐ously, there are times when it is freezing cold and you want that frosty Dr. Pepper real bad but know that when you go outside with it it will likely stick to your hand. I don't know that there is technology for this, but I am going to engineer cups that keep your hand warm while your drink remains icy cool. Coozies today are probably the closest thing, but they can be improved upon in my opinion. $$$$$$
•Do it yourself laser hair re‐moval kit. I shave about every other day, and even when I do shave every other day I still look like a wooly mammoth at the end of that second day. Maybe my friends are right and I am like a folk hero that was just born with a five o' clock shadow, but I really hate shav‐ing a lot, and I hear girls aren't digging the Paul Bunyan look these days. My idea is to make laser hair removal cheap and portable. $$ •People that will talk your s*** for you. I don't know about you, but some days people do little things that make you ex‐tremely angry. So angry, you feel if you berate them you are just stressing yourself out more. I think you could make a ton of money if you would be willing to talk a lot of mess about people like Seth Cho‐mout for a nominal fee for someone else. Not only can you avoid a potential beatdown that would ensue, but if you made the price high enough I'm sure they would be willing to say just about anything. $ (Because Seth Chomout is likely
going to kill me after this article and I will not see any profit anyway.) •Things that are made to be broken. I know, it sounds really emo, but there are many times throughout the day where I just need to break stuff, and my universal remote for the third time in a row is just not going to cut it. It would be super cool if you could design something that looks like its really expen‐sive but is actually pretty cheap and smashes into a million pieces. Really, things like this could come in handy. $$$$$$ •Cool idea memory book. How many times have you come up with a cool idea that will proba‐bly make you a ton of money, but later on you can't remem‐ber? Imagine the millions on top of millions you could make(or lose), by remembering your half‐baked ideas to the T. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Well, that just about covers most of my ideas. Thanks.
5
http
://w
ww
.ram
dicu
lous
.com
/dr
MILLION DOLLAR IDEAS By: Edwin A. Abbot
6
10. Pizza 9. Popcorn 8. Chips and Queso 7. Chips and Salsa 6. Burgers 5. Pizza Rolls 4. Beer (drink unless
you’re Baptist) 3. Nachos 2. Peanuts 1. Your mom
Top Ten Things to eat on super bowl Sunday
We M3$$3d Up Umm, we have messed up in the past...so we are going to fix it here. So here is the first thing we messed up on this semester, we don’t have anything to put here, because we are lazy… and we are late to print. We hope
you like the new layout and if you miss something that is not here anymore, we would love to hear from you.
www.ramdiculous.com
Good Day!
Campus Reflections The New Face Of ASU By: Joan of Arc To any student with two eyes it is obvious the facelift that our won‐derful campus is undergoing. There’s more shade by the UC now. That’s pretty cool. However, I don’t think the common student is aware of what really is going to happen to our campus in the com‐ing months. You should be warned. All these seemingly won‐derful advancements to our com‐mon grounds all are just to butter up the student body and faculty members for the really big chances that are coming‐ and all of those may not be so pretty. On top of the additional eating space in the UC, the covered walking area by the Library, and most no‐ticeable, the addition of Centen‐nial Village (which, by the way, still is under construction) the Hardeman building will undergo a major tear‐up and re‐build. Oh yes, and everyone thinks the park‐ing is bad now! Just wait until construction crews close off the parking for that building. My ad‐vice: buy a bike, because parking will no longer be an option. An‐other “little” project up on their list: finally imploding University Hall (which was suppose to hap‐pen when I was a freshman and
still hasn’t) and then building an‐other residence hall. Don’t get me wrong, growing student popula‐tion is a good thing on the finan‐cial end of all this university busi‐ness, but the headache caused by such undertakings will probably leave Angelo State with less stu‐dents then normal before she gets more. I know I won’t appreciate the mess that will be created along Dena Street as that project gets underway. The UC will proba‐bly see a hack of a lot more busi‐ness because no student will want to maneuver a maze just to get to the Cafeteria. By building a new residence hall in place of Univer‐sity Hall that will mean more per‐manent parking for its residents, which in turn will mean less park‐ing for students whom do not reside on campus. Is this actually an underlying plot to increase the amount of students who live on campus past their second year? Or it’s maybe an agenda to fight the growing obesity problem in Amer‐ica? Don’t drive to school, walk! You’ll get to class faster anyway! All I can say is best of luck to you, the future of ASU, because I’m going to high‐tail it out of here!
Words
of
Wisdom
sing like nobody can hear you, dance like no one can see,
and love as if the person you loved, would be the
last you will see.
7
When I’m lonely,
I simply think these thoughts And all is well:
Daffodils and cherry trees Simple tents and canopies Butterflies and busy bees
Dying by the hour Hope is lost among the seas Death lurks amidst the fleas
Kill me now, I beg you please Before I lose my power
AND NOW BOYS AND GIRLS, IT’S POETRY TIME!
Weekly Rant By: George Ferguson
I know the title say “Weekly Rant”, but what it should really say is “Aunt Jemima saves the world”. I say this because, on a recent trip to my over‐infested shopping location, I became attacked by an over‐whelming urge to make pancakes. I picked up some good stuff (mix‐wise). Then I obviously needed some topping to go on top (because that’s what topping means). Guess what I saw!!!!! I bet you can’t! I saw some SUGAR FREE AUNT JEMIMA’S PAN‐CAKE SYRUP!!!! I know what you are thinking…No freakin’ way dude. But I'm here to offer my personal testimony that there really is heaven on earth. Need‐less to say, I bought the en‐tire bottle. Yes, I acciden‐tally the whole thing. The entire thing!!!! All $3. When I got home I decided that I was well on my way to a perfect body. You know, the kind that has 13 abs, 4 biceps, and several latissimus dorsis. All with below 2% body fat. I will be a tank. So hurriedly and with much passion I tore open the package of pan‐cake mix. I was sweating with intensity. I grabbed the largest mixing bowl in my possession. I slammed the entire package of mix in the
bowl with just the right amount of enthusiasm. Furi‐ously I rammed the faucet to the “on” position and grabbed about 1.3 gallons of water. Since I am not in possession of a beater, I heinously used a fork to mix the water and syrup to‐gether. This took the better part of my afternoon, and I am glad to say that it was worth it. After 4 hours of beating, the mix was silky smooth, much like howard stern’s hair. I was so caught up in my beating that I for‐got to grab a pan to cook the perfect ‘cakes in. aware of the dire predicament I was now in, I ripped the doors off my cabinet with such force that only Monte‐zuma and his revenge could be proud. I turned my stove on to the highest setting (which causes death) and gently with much TLC set my beloved pan on the stove (a Teflon pan, mind you). When my pan reached the ever sexy degree of pan‐cake cooking, I carefully sprayed some non stick spray on the beautiful pan. As I gingerly poured the pancake mix in the bowl……..ah screw it. I'm bored. I'm done.
I love you
8
The Incredible Question
What was your New Year’s Resolution?
My resolution was to resolve not to have a
resolution, and, therefore, I set realistic and obtainable
goal. ‐Aaron Glass
pass college
‐Cheli Urquiza
gain over 9000 pounds.
to find the joy in the little things ‐Sarah Ruth
This year, I resolved my carpet...that stuff
was filthy ‐Brian Wingert
Who’s This?
Jump online to tell us who this
is… RAMDICULOUS.COM
Last Weeks Correct Submissions Davina Valles
Charlena Lemaster Jessica Lacy
Bartok the Bat
Well, I would like to start by congratulating Mr. Barack Obama, our beloved Halfrican American, on his new job. No matter our personal opinions, all
are anxious to see what he will do. Even those who do not agree with his Communistic ideas and anti-America principles hope that some-how, by the grace of God, he succeeds, and he
can pull us out of this current funk we seem to have fallen in. After all, if his plans fail, the en
tire country will be completely screwed, and no rational person would wish someone to fail if that person held the future of a nation in his hands
(**cough cough** Rush Limbaugh). So we wish you luck Mr. President. May your days be long,
and may your steak be always medium rare. We here at the Obama Files will be keeping a close eye on you, so don’t mess it up.
Pragmatic Patsy
9
ADVERTISE WITH US. If you would like your ad to appear in the
Ramdiculous Page, please contact us at [email protected]
Advertising Guidelines 1. Deadline for ads to be submitted is 1:00pm the Tuesday before publi‐
cation. 2. Ads will be received only if they are complete. Ramdiculous Page will
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tion/event will be allowed more than one‐quarter of a page in ad space.
Ramdiculous Page will not advertise for any off‐campus event except in certain circumstances,* or anything of questionable nature. This includes but is not limited to: • alcohol • drugs • tobacco • illegal activities *Exceptions to this rule will be determined the staff of Ramdiculous Page
Pragmatic Patsy welcomes you to Spring 2009! You may not be fa‐miliar with me or what I do—I am an advice columnist whose long, illustrious advice career as well as my many experiences in life, years at a university, and particularly my status as the middle child qualify me to not only listen to your prob‐lems but give you specific and amazing advice that will improve your life and, bonus, if you rub my belly I grant you a wish. So, send me a n e ‐ma i l p r a g ‐[email protected].
Dear Pragmatic Patsy,
What do I do if I have group pro‐jects in various classes and the group members are incompetent, lazy, drunkards, short to the point of impaired, or the ignorant dicta‐tor type? How can I manage to make a decent grade on anything?
The Gung‐ho Group Member
Dear GGM,
You must understand that you will inevitably do all the work. Some professors may let you “fire” a member, but it’s a process and your conscience may not permit you to. The easiest thing for you to do is delegate meaningless tasks to each group member to make them feel as if they contribute so they will hush up about the impor‐tant decisions regarding the direc‐tion of the projects you will essen‐tially complete yourself. Just de‐cide to devote your entire semes‐ter to these things and forget about having a social life or being involved in extracurricular activi‐ties. Its only one semester. Try not to think about how if you weren’t cooped up in the library you could be out meeting the love of your life.
Tenderly,
Pragmatic Patsy
The Obama Files
Forget Crap
R A M D I C U L O U S P A G E P O L I C Y Published every Friday and available to students on campus. This newspaper does not express the opinions of any writer, editor, or anyone affiliated with Angelo State University or the Texas Tech University System or this newspaper. We welcome all letters. Please include your name, position, and an email address. All submissions are considered property of the Ramdiculous Page and will not be returned. Submit your letters via our email, [email protected] or website www.ramdiculous.com. Opinions in any letter or writing are not necessarily those of the staff, nor should any opinion expressed in a public forum be construed as the opinion or policy of the administration or the Ramdiculous Page. By submitting anything to the Ramdiculous Page, you are giving the Ramdiculous Page permission to use your Facebook and/or Myspace profile in any way the Ramdiculous Page deems usable, unless expressed in writing. If you are an professor you need not worry, we will not use your profiles.
Sudo
ku
Ramdiculous Observances Saturday ‐ National Seed Swap Day
(LOL...dirty)
Sunday ‐ Spunky Old Broads Day (also dirty)
Monday ‐ Groundhog Day (fairly self‐explanatory)
Tuesday ‐ Liberace Day
(dress like a homosexual pianist)
Wednesday ‐ USO Day
Thursday ‐ Move Hollywood to Lebanon, PA Day (umm...why?)
DOUBT 1:40pm 4:35pm 7:35pm
10:20pm
THE UNINVITED 11:25am 1:55pm 4:15pm
7:15pm 9:50pm
DEFIANCE 11:55am 3:55pm 8:05pm
GRAN TORINO
1:20pm 4:20pm 7:20pm 10:15pm
UNDERWORLD 3 11:40am 2:05pm 4:45pm
7:45pm 10:10pm
HOTEL FOR DOGS 1:35pm 4:10pm 7:10pm
PAUL BLART MALL COP 11:45am 2:15pm 5:00pm
8:00pm 10:40pm
NEW IN TOWN 1:30pm 4:00pm 7:00pm
9:45pm
Movie Times
Movie Review Hello Angelo State Univer‐sity Rams, Ram Belles and all others who read this fine paper! ^_^ It is I, your Awe‐some Movie Reviewer Guy and we are back. The paper has got a new look, new fea‐tures and we are spicing up the old. I am excited and looking forward to it myself; and I know you, as our fine read‐ers, will enjoy it as well. I per‐sonally will be bringing you reviews of movies I see, as voted for by you our read‐ers. If you would like to vote on which movie I shall re‐view just send an e‐mail to [email protected] or send us a message on Face‐book. This week I decided to
go see the movie Gran Torino with Clint Eastwood. Walt Kowalski (Eastwood) loses his wife to health com‐plications and now lives alone. He lives in a
neighborhood that has slowly become filled with Hmongs, which does not sit well with the Ko‐rean War Veteran. K o w a l s k i ’ s neighbor Tao, un‐der pressure from his cousin’s gang, tries to steal Walt’s car, a 1972 mint‐
condition Gran Torino. Tao gets caught and in order for him to remove the shame he has brought upon his family, he goes to work for Kowalski. Soon, Kowalski is drawn into protecting Tao and his family from the neighborhood gang.