Mindset Strategies: Approach AnxietyIdentify your Approach Anxiety problem

The first and most important step where most guys fail is they look for a quick solution orshortcut. All you have to do is type in approach anxiety into Google to see 5.4 millionresults, everyone is looking for a quick shortcut as in the modern day everyone is lazy, the only shortcut to success is hard work.

5 years ago I would type this into Google, and read PUA books. The problem with this is that you still dont believe its possible, you are looking for a magical formula which doesnt exist. Thanks to YouTube videos I started to believe it, seeing infield pick ups and I decid-ed to do a Bootcamp where I would get dating experts to get me approaching hot women, I did it and only once I started doing it did I began to overcome my approach anxiety.

You wonder why you cant do it and it comes down to you seeing it, believing it and thenyou actually doing it, once you have that in your mind with positive reference pointsyou will start to overcome it.

There are no pick up lines that will get you results, as this is only 7% of how we communi-cate. Mostly its what is communicated across in our body language and voice, this is more of a mindset, which is sub-communicated across to women. Self-development books, practicing meditation and breathing doesnt work either, again looking to this is avoiding approaching women, which is the problem, which needs to be addressed.

We fear rejection and you need to realise is that we all get rejected, I get rejected all thetime. Guys who are naturals with women know its a numbers game, they would rathergive it a go and not succeed. You need to condition your mind to this way of thinking, thereason you dont is because more pain is associated with women rejecting you in yourpast. Its a blow to the ego, as men we protect our egos, but by understanding that two thirds of women are unavailable you approach, you are mostly going to get rejections.

I am now at the point where I feel more pain from not approaching that pretty girl. More re-cently I seen a girl on the tube and she was tall, blonde, European looking girl, exactly my type, I said to myself: next stop I will approach her. I didnt and she got off the tube. Once those doors closed, all that was going through my head was: why didnt I approach her, and this stayed with me for the rest of the night.

Its all a pain and pleasure balance. You see we would rather do things that give uspleasure rather than pain in that moment. We stay in our comfort zone and avoid having any fear. If you were to look into the future and see yourself, still being single Im sure you would take action.

It all comes down to you identifying the problem. I got to the point where a traumaticexperience happened and I realised I had to take action now. I wanted the beautifulwomen, but not just that I wanted to be happy and confident in myself, which is theproblem you actually have to solve. So to overcome Anxiety you actually have to approach women! Now you have to find out how you are going to do this.

Chris Murphy 2015 | www.thechrismurphy.com

Identify your strategy

Overall I stand by having your own strategy as this is unique to you, a pick up line or process which I said worked for me isnt going to work for you, we all find our unique path. A strategy is how you can organise the resources that you have, so you can then repeat to achieve a specific result. Im different because I: identify the problems you need to address, and propose practicals you need to do, which are universal to everyone.

Overall this is a mindset change which you will need to go through. Something you need to live by is: Speak to that pretty girl as youll probably never see her again. Think you might not even connect with that girl, so head over and get to know her. A high value man wants to select not only the hottest girl, but the girl he connects with the most. The hottest girl willwant the most confident, high value man she can find, so you want to be that man, and by heading over you begin to qualify yourself as that guy.

I was on the tube once and one guy was good looking, a girl across the way was makingeye contact. He was getting closer to his tube stop. Then once he reached it, he got off the train. Yes I will repeat that, HE GOT OFF THE TRAIN. The fact that he never approached her means that she never knows who he is, she can give him all the signs but he is in con-trol of his own destiny.

Think of every girl in a room having envelopes and one has an envelope with 10k in it, you only have to speak to every girl in order to get what you want. Would you see each girl not having the envelope as a rejection? No. Understand its a numbers game and you will get more nos than yess, hence why a guy on my Workshop will speak to 30 girls, get a few numbers and go on a date with one of the girls, over time the odds will get better.

Think back to how you got speaking to the last pretty girl and Im sure you will see that she probably spoke to you first, or you somehow started a spontaneous opener with her. You felt comfortable with her because she opened you first. The reason this normally always fails is because your neediness comes out, since you are relying on something like this tohappen, it is very unlikely to happen again.

Get Rejected and overcome Anxiety with this exercise:

This is essentially the first step and something that I will get my student to do on myNatural Interactions Workshop where they approach women. When starting off I get them to head over to the girl, standing tall, making sure they smile and do the following:

1. Get the girls attention:

Hey, excuse me or Hi, I just have to say something really quickly

2. Pre - Frame: She is unaware what exactly is going on, build up the compliment:

I just seen you walk past me....., I was just coming out of the coffee shop and.., Imjust on my way to meet my friend.

Chris Murphy 2015 | www.thechrismurphy.com

3.Compliment:

Show your intent and that you are attracted to them

I thought you looked quite nice, you look cute today and I had to say hi quickly

4. Exit:

YOU: Anyway I have to go, but was nice to meet you quickly

Putting this into practice will help you to overcome your approach anxiety.

Hey excuse me?, Can I just tell you something really quickly?, I just seen youwalk past me and I thought you look really nice today

HER: Thank you

YOU: Anyway I have to go, but was nice to meet youHER: Okay bye

Why would we end it at this stage?

We fear the approach because of rejection, so it is important we exit and reject ourselvesout of the conversation. We fear that this will be really awkward, however if a womanreceives a compliment she will always appreciate it. So this will overcome your limitedbeliefs of her blanking you or saying: Go away or Youre not my type. Exiting will not put it as a pick-up attempt. People will argue that this is pointless, but at the same time you have still approached a hot woman and shown your intent which is the first stage.

Soon, youll be kicking yourself to approach and start a conversation with a girl. The truth is you will have to do this a few times, your brain needs to time to register the shock but from doing this you become more confident, meet more women, increase your chances of meeting that girl along the way, and be closer to that guy that you want to become.

Give it a try when you run into that pretty girl today or tomorrow.

Good luck figuring out your strategy and I hope to see you soon.

Chris

P.S. If you have enjoyed this then check out my follow up strategy guide: 5 steps to Bullet-proof Confidence. Women want a man who is confident in himself and on his own mission in his life. I map out the what you need to focus on as a man to become more confident, and have broken down all I have learnt in my transformation journey, approaching 1000s of women, and the mindset to have to be successful.

Chris Murphy 2015 | www.thechrismurphy.com