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HSE Women in Leadership
Mentoring Programme
A Guide for Mentors
2
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Part I: Preparing for mentoring .............................................................................. 4
What is a mentor? .......................................................................................................... 4
The benefits of a mentoring relationship ........................................................................ 4
Mentoring for Women in Leadership .............................................................................. 4
How this programme works ........................................................................................... 5
Differentiating between a mentor and a line manager .................................................... 5
Building the foundations of a successful mentoring relationship .............................. 6
Before you begin: questions to ask yourself .................................................................. 6
Trust .............................................................................................................................. 6
Being open, genuine and self-aware ...................................................................................... 6 Demonstrating respect ........................................................................................................... 7 Showing empathy .................................................................................................................. 7
Boundaries .................................................................................................................... 7
Confidentiality ................................................................................................................ 8
Motivation ...................................................................................................................... 8
A checklist for your first meeting .................................................................................... 8
Part II: Mentoring in action ................................................................................... 10
Stages of the mentoring relationship .......................................................................... 10
Key mentoring skills .................................................................................................... 11
Observing .................................................................................................................... 11
Listening ...................................................................................................................... 11
Active Listening: some key guidelines .................................................................................. 11
Questioning ................................................................................................................. 12
Types of questioning............................................................................................................ 13
How to help: practical ways to support your mentee ................................................ 13
Knowing when to refer ................................................................................................. 13
Following up ................................................................................................................ 13
Drafting a mentoring plan ............................................................................................ 13
Goal-setting tools................................................................................................................. 14
Learning styles and personality types .......................................................................... 14
Giving effective feedback ............................................................................................ 15
Guidelines for giving feedback ............................................................................................. 15 Getting feedback ................................................................................................................. 15
Part III: Mentoring in review ................................................................................. 17
Reflecting on your role ................................................................................................. 17
Your mentoring skills and attributes: a self-assessment tool ........................................ 17
3
Introduction Thank you for volunteering to take on a mentoring role with the HSE Women In Leadership
Mentoring Programme. This handbook is intended as a guide for you in your role. Like any project or
process, the mentoring role consists of distinct stages – preparation, execution and review. Each of
these three stages is covered in this guide.
4
PART I: PREPARING FOR MENTORING
What is a mentor?
A mentor provides support, wisdom and guidance, during a transitional, often challenging period.
The benefits of a mentoring relationship
Through this mutually-beneficial relationship, mentees can:
• gain an increased organisational awareness and a clearer understanding of corporate culture
and goals
• receive support with the ‘reality shock’ of entering an industry or practice
• experience a safe environment in which to ask questions and practice skills
• develop or build on their self-confidence and independence
• develop their learning, analytical and reflective skills
• gain experience of working in a collaborative relationship
• expand their network within the organization
Mentors can:
• gain the personal satisfaction of helping others
• develop their communication skills, as well as build on their ability to analyse, challenge and
reflect
• develop their own organisational and professional knowledge
• develop new opportunities for networking and raise their profile in the organisation
• gain new perspectives from fresh viewpoints
• influence the development of colleagues who have the potential to become future leaders of
the organisation
Mentoring for Women in Leadership
Broadly, women experience the workplace differently from men. Women are often highly confident
and extremely well-skilled when starting out at the first level of their career. Yet once they reach the
higher levels of a business or organisation, many female peers have left the workplace due to family
reasons, or the pursuit of alternative careers. This has an impact on the amount of women available
to take on the more senior roles, but just as importantly, it can mean that the workplace can be a
lonely place for those women who do hold roles at those higher levels. As a mentor for Women In
Leadership, you can use your awareness of what it can be like to be female in this landscape. You
can offer your mentee a safe and trustworthy environment in which to ask questions, and test out
possible strategies and behaviours.
How this programme works
• Women in senior roles will be assig
mentor.
• The mentoring relationship will last for six months.
• Mentors will be asked to spend one half
be broken up into two or more shorter meetings
• Following completion of the six
mentors and mentees invited to give feedback on the initiative.
Differentiating between a mentor and a line manager
Some the skills used by line man
collaborative relationships set in place to support a colleague. However a line manager will directly
manage their relationships with those who report to them, especially in areas such as performance
management and communication. The mentor, however, is there to support their mentee through
sharing their own experiences. The mentoring relationship provides a ‘safe place’ in which to ask
questions and express concerns. Generally, a mentor will spend a greater
and understanding, and less time being directive.
Your role as a mentor, in the context of this programme
In tandem with this, you will use the skills outlined in the ‘Mentoring in Action’ section of this guide.
Programme evaluation
At the end of the six month mentoring relationship, we will gather feedback from mentees and
mentors, in order to evaluate the programme.
Not all mentoring relationships are 100% successful. Dissatisfaction and problems are common to
every relationship, including mentoring relationships. Please let the programme organisers know if
you have any concerns at any stage of the programme.
A mentor provides support, wisdom and guidance
You can do this by sharing these three things
What you know
Your professional knowledge, insights into specific career
paths and organisational culture
interviews for roles; CPD and skills development; building a professional
How this programme works
Women in senior roles will be assigned mentees who have expressed an interest in having a
The mentoring relationship will last for six months.
Mentors will be asked to spend one half-day per month in this mentoring role; this time could
be broken up into two or more shorter meetings / phone calls.
Following completion of the six-month relationship, the process will be reviewed, and
mentors and mentees invited to give feedback on the initiative.
Differentiating between a mentor and a line manager
Some the skills used by line managers are similar to those needed by mentors. Both are
collaborative relationships set in place to support a colleague. However a line manager will directly
manage their relationships with those who report to them, especially in areas such as performance
ent and communication. The mentor, however, is there to support their mentee through
sharing their own experiences. The mentoring relationship provides a ‘safe place’ in which to ask
questions and express concerns. Generally, a mentor will spend a greater amount of time listening
and understanding, and less time being directive.
Your role as a mentor, in the context of this programme
In tandem with this, you will use the skills outlined in the ‘Mentoring in Action’ section of this guide.
evaluation
At the end of the six month mentoring relationship, we will gather feedback from mentees and
mentors, in order to evaluate the programme.
Not all mentoring relationships are 100% successful. Dissatisfaction and problems are common to
relationship, including mentoring relationships. Please let the programme organisers know if
you have any concerns at any stage of the programme.
A mentor provides support, wisdom and guidance
You can do this by sharing these three things
What you did
Applications and interviews for roles; CPD and skills development; building a professional
profile
Who you know
Your connections and networks
5
ned mentees who have expressed an interest in having a
day per month in this mentoring role; this time could
month relationship, the process will be reviewed, and
are similar to those needed by mentors. Both are
collaborative relationships set in place to support a colleague. However a line manager will directly
manage their relationships with those who report to them, especially in areas such as performance
ent and communication. The mentor, however, is there to support their mentee through
sharing their own experiences. The mentoring relationship provides a ‘safe place’ in which to ask
amount of time listening
In tandem with this, you will use the skills outlined in the ‘Mentoring in Action’ section of this guide.
At the end of the six month mentoring relationship, we will gather feedback from mentees and
Not all mentoring relationships are 100% successful. Dissatisfaction and problems are common to
relationship, including mentoring relationships. Please let the programme organisers know if
6
Building the foundations of a successful mentoring relationship
Before you begin: questions to ask yourself
It is vital to prepare for the role of a mentor in the same way that you would for any new
responsibility. A well-prepared mentor is more likely to be confident in their role, which will help
create a relaxed environment for the mentee, putting them at their ease and ensuring that they are
more likely to open up and share their thoughts.
In advance of your first meeting, you should ask yourself:
Furthermore, there are a number of key aspects of a mentoring relationship that you should consider
while preparing for your role. These are: Trust; Boundaries; Confidentiality and Motivation.
Trust
Trust is vital for a successful mentoring relationship. There are three key ways in which you can start
to build trust during the early stages of your relationship with your mentee – by being open, genuine
and self-aware, by demonstrating respect and by showing empathy.
Being open, genuine and self-aware
• Be aware of your own feelings about entering into this mentoring relationship. Perhaps you
are feeling slightly apprehensive or nervous? If you are open about these feelings with your
mentee, you can use them to connect with your mentee, rather than hiding behind a
persona.
• Being self-aware is about knowing what you are feeling and why. It is also about
understanding the impact of your own behaviour or demeanour on others. Is it the case that
you are a very self-assured, talkative person? Could this result in your mentee ‘going in to
their shell’ and being less likely to share their feelings with you? How can you put your
mentee at ease?
• As part of the mentoring process, you will help your mentee with their own self-awareness.
Helping them to identify their strengths and weaknesses will form a key part of the eventual
plan you will both develop to help them move forward. It is important however that you
• What may my mentee want or need from me?
• What are my strengths? How can I utilize them in this relationship?
• What are my weaknesses or limits? Will I at times need to refer my mentee to a colleague who
has additional experience/expertise in a particular area?
• What is my own experience of mentoring relationships? What was it about the mentor’s
approach that worked or didn’t work?
• What lessons have I learned from failure as well as from success?
• Am I prepared to be the one who talks less and listens more?
7
remain cognizant of both your and your mentee’s feelings and emotions throughout the
mentoring process. Perhaps a conversation about a particular aspect of your mentee’s
professional challenges produces a reaction of frustration or defensiveness on their side.
How will you deal with this? In most cases it is best to acknowledge that you recognize
these emotions. This is the first step in understanding them, and eventually moving forward.
It is also a key factor in establishing the trust of your mentee. You will have shown that you
wish to take the time to acknowledge their feelings and understand them, rather than simply
rushing in with advice from your own perspective.
Demonstrating respect
• Prepare to accept your mentee as they are and try to suspend judgment.
• You may see things differently, but it will help build a meaningful relationship if you can
demonstrate that you respect their viewpoint.
• As a mentor, you will not be an authority whose opinion is absolute, but a source of possible
ideas as well as a sounding board,
Showing empathy
“Seek First To Understand, Then To Be Understood”
(Covey, S. (1989). The Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People. New York: Simon and Schuster)
• Empathy is the ability to understand and respond to the unique experience of another
person. If you engage in mentoring without first trying to understand your mentee’s unique
circumstances and viewpoint, you will not really be providing mentoring at all. You will simply
be giving advice from your own specific perspective and it will be hit and miss as to whether
any of it will be useful.
• As a mentor, you need to strive to do your best to appreciate how it feels to be in your
mentee’s situation. This can take time, and there is nothing to be gained from rushing this
part of the mentoring process. Yet the reward will be a greater shared understanding of the
issues faced by your mentee and the potential to create a more meaningful mentoring action
plan in the next stage.
• Taking the time to understand, at this stage of the process, will help develop a deeper sense
of trust between you and your mentee. They will see that you wish to try to understand their
unique perspective, rather than making assumptions or imposing your own view. In order to
reach this greater understanding you may need to employ some of the listening and
questions skills outlined in Part II of this guide.
Boundaries
Mentors are there to provide an additional level of support for their colleagues. It is a professional
relationship in which mentors are not expected to be confidantes or counsellors.
At your first meeting, mention that you will support your mentee within the boundaries and structure
of the professional mentoring relationship, but that it’s a possibility that some issues will arise that
may be more appropriate for them to take to their Line Manager or to HR. An example of this may be
8
where your mentee reports to you a case of workplace bullying. They should be directed to Dignity
at Work Policy. https://www.hse.ie/eng/staff/resources/hrppg/dignity-at-work-policy.html
Before your first meeting, consider how much time/energy you have to share with your mentee -
beyond the structure that has been put in place for the programme. Try not to get carried away and
say ‘Call me anytime!’
Confidentiality
Raise the issue of confidentiality with your mentee at the first meeting. What does it mean for them?
What does it mean for you?
It is very important that both mentor and mentee understand the confidentiality of personal
information that may be shared with them during meetings and that information may not be shared
among mentors and/or Line Managers or other colleagues about individuals.
It is important to create a trusting relationship; however when faced with an issue of something that
cannot be kept confidential, it is best to seek support from HR. An example of something that cannot
be kept confidential would be where your mentee expresses intent to harm themselves or others.
Mentees should be encouraged to contact the Confidential Staffcare Freephone No. 1800 409 388 or
their General Practitioner.
Motivation
Before beginning your mentoring relationship it is worth taking some time to consider the factors that
will have motivated both parties to become involved. Motivation to seek mentoring can be due to
intrinsic factors such as a wish to become more personally fulfilled or a desire to increase self-
confidence. Those intrinsically motivated mentees will most likely find the process of mentoring to be
a naturally satisfying one; they may be less interested in measuring achievements and reaching clear
milestones. On the other hand, others will who seek mentoring will do so because of extrinsic
motivation, such as a desire to reach a specific level in their career or a need for more praise or
feedback from managers. They will be more likely to work best with a mentoring plan showing clearly
delineated milestones and desired outcomes. In many cases, mentees will be motivated by a
combination of internal and external factors, and so will have elements of both kinds of motivation.
As a mentor, what is your motivation for undertaking this role?
A checklist for your first meeting
At your first meeting you will begin to explore with your mentee their motivation for seeking a mentor
in the Women in Leadership programme. From that discussion you will move on to establishing some
overall goals for the process. However this explorative phase of the relationship is likely to span more
than one meeting. Much of the first meeting may be taken up with practical matters around the
process, as well as an initial discussion of the key areas listed above.
At your first meeting you should aim to touch, even briefly, on all of the following:
9
At your first meeting
Introduce yourselves • Your professional background and experience
• Some information about yourself
• Some information about your mentee
Talk about motivation • What motivated your mentee to request a mentor
• What motivated you to want to be involved in this
programme?
Look at the mentoring
programme structure
• Length of programme
• Frequency and duration of meetings
• Developing a mentoring plan (if appropriate)
• Meeting reports (if any)
• Who will take notes (this should be the mentee’s
role)
Determine how you will
communicate
• How meetings will be arranged
• Where you will meet
• Whether you are happy to be contacted at other
times
Clarify expectations • Your expectations and theirs
• Boundaries and confidentiality
• Feedback (giving and receiving)
Explain how you can help • The areas in which you may be able to help
• How you might not be able to help with everything
and may need to refer your mentee on to someone
who can
Set your next meeting
date
• Or decide how and when you will arrange this
10
PART II: MENTORING IN ACTION
Stages of the mentoring relationship
The mentoring relationship is never static, driven as it is by new insights along the way, potential
goals and eventual achievements. Each stage of the relationship requires specific skills from the
mentor. The requirement for certain skills and behaviours will span all the stages; however you will
notice that others may only be required in the later phase.
This table shows an outline of the phases of a mentoring relationship:
Stage
Objectives
Skills you will use
You will be
1
Initial
exploration
To get to know one another
To talk together about the
practical aspects of mentoring
process (see ‘First Meeting
Checklist’)
To begin to establish trust
To look at motivation
To start to explore needs and
possible objectives
Observing
Active Listening
Asking open questions
Empathy
Self-awareness
Understanding
Supporting
2
Moving
forward
To help your mentee identify their
strengths and weakness
To support them in determining
their needs and specific areas
they wish to focus on
Observing
Active Listening
Asking open questions
Clarifying your
understanding
Empathy
Self-awareness
Sharing your
experience
Providing
information
Advising
Encouraging
3
Putting a
plan
together
To look at specific methods to
address your mentee’s needs
To set goals (short, medium or
long-term)
Observing
Active Listening
Asking open questions
Clarifying your
understanding
Empathy
Self-awareness
Consciousness of
different learning styles
Thinking
creatively
Problem
solving
Negotiating
Planning
4
Feedback
and
reflection
To reflect on how the plan is going
and review what has been
achieved
Observing
Active Listening
Asking open questions
Clarifying your
understanding
Empathy and Self-
awareness
Giving effective
Encouraging
Building
confidence
11
feedback
Key mentoring skills
Observing
As a mentor, you should be aware of the non-verbal ways in which your mentee will communicate
with you, as this will contribute to your overall understanding of their perspective. Sometimes non-
verbal signals can contradict what the person is saying.
Many signals indicate negative feelings (yawning can indicate boredom, crossed arms in front of the
body can indicate defensiveness, fidgeting or lack of eye contact can indicate nervousness etc.). Be
mindful of what could be causing the negative feelings. Certain circumstances can produce
negative feelings in people, even if they are usually strong, open and confident. These
circumstances include:
• Dominance of a person perceived to be in authority
• Overload of new knowledge or learning
• Unfamiliarity / change
• Stress / illness
• Tiredness
• Hunger
Remember that you, as a mentor, will also constantly be sending non-verbal signals during the
course of your meetings. The observer, in this case, your mentee, will continually be perceiving how
you are feeling. The signals you send may not always convey this accurately. Genuine tiredness on
your part (yawning, slouching etc.) could be perceived as disinterest. Smiles, eye contact,
nodding/tilting head, open gestures, will all help you to convey interest and empathy. Try not to sit
opposite your mentee, as this creates a more adversarial or interview-like setting.
Listening
Listening is the most important skill for mentors. If you can master the art of listening well, the
‘Questioning’ skill will become less important. A frequent criticism of mentors is that they are too
task-oriented; they do not listen effectively and move too quickly to the action stage. This also
reflects what is outlined in the first part of this guide about the importance of empathy. Mentors
listen in order to understand.
To be an effective mentor, you will need to practice Active Listening. Below you will find some
guidelines to help you with this.
Active Listening: some key guidelines
1. Allow the other person to speak
12
2. When your mentee is speaking, try not to spend the time mentally rehearsing your
response so that you can make your point as soon as you can, regardless of what they are
actually saying.
3. Allow for silence. Often a pause is a useful probing tool, which can be used to prompt your
mentee to say more. Your body language should be relaxed (i.e. not fidgeting or otherwise
indicating that you are impatient to move on, nodding at appropriate intervals, using a warm
tone of voice).
4. Be attentive to non-verbal signals used by your mentee when they are speaking. Active
listening involves being open to hearing not just what is being said, but being able to pick
up the emotions behind the statement.
5. Be aware of the tone of voice used, as well as the actual words spoken.
6. You can check your understanding of what has been said by reflecting back (“So what
you are saying is…” or “It seems to me that you are saying…” When a mentee hears their
own words reflected or paraphrased, they may realise that what they have said is not
actually or exactly what they meant. Or, if your paraphrasing is inaccurate, your mentee can
correct this, and provide further information to clarify what they have said.
7. You can also summarise what has been said (“So these are the main ideas you have
expressed…”).
8. If you are finding it difficult to understand what your mentee is trying to say, you can always
say “I’m a bit confused” or “I don’t think I understand”. This way you will be letting them
know that you do want to understand.
Questioning
Questions are important, as they will invite your mentee to think for themselves. This will create
more awareness and ownership of the situation, rather than you as the mentor simply telling your
mentee what to do.
• Try to avoid ‘Leading questions’ which prompt your mentee towards a solution that you
have already thought of (“Would you not think of arranging a team meeting?”)
• Try to avoid ‘Closed’ questions, which can be answered with a simple ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ or will
only draw out only specific information or facts; instead try other questioning types which
will allow your mentee to articulate their thinking.
Types of questioning
How to help: practical ways to support your mentee
Remember – it is not up to you to find a quick solution to the challenges faced
you are not expected to have all the answers. A mentor is a facilitator, not a fixer. In many
instances, your role may simply be that of an excellent listener and supportive colleague.
Knowing when to refer
Although there will be cases in which you will be able to help by sharing your own experiences and
knowledge, there will equally be times in which you will need to refer your mentee on to someone
else with more expertise in a particular area. This may be a
experience of a particular challenge faced by your mentee, or someone who has specific expertise
in an area where the mentee needs help. A clear example of where referral would be necessary
would be where your mentee is experi
mentor, you are not expected to be a counsellor or a psychologist, and you should refer your
mentee on to those trained professionals whose role it is to help them.
Assistance at: https://www.hse.ie/eng/staff/workplacehthwellbng/stfsuprts/eacounsell/
Following up
• Make a note of anything that you have agreed to do in order to help your ment
• Agree a timeframe for which you will follow
anything change.
• Likewise, if your mentee has ascertained a particular action that they will take following your
discussions, ensure that this is noted so that you c
meetings(s).
Drafting a mentoring plan
After you have spent time exploring your mentee’s needs in relation to this programme and
establishing the areas in which you can support their development, you will be ready to
mentoring plan.
Closed
•Are you comfortable giving a presentation to senior management?
Open
•How do you feel about giving a presentation to senior management?
How to help: practical ways to support your mentee
it is not up to you to find a quick solution to the challenges faced
you are not expected to have all the answers. A mentor is a facilitator, not a fixer. In many
instances, your role may simply be that of an excellent listener and supportive colleague.
Knowing when to refer
Although there will be cases in which you will be able to help by sharing your own experiences and
knowledge, there will equally be times in which you will need to refer your mentee on to someone
else with more expertise in a particular area. This may be a colleague who has had direct
experience of a particular challenge faced by your mentee, or someone who has specific expertise
in an area where the mentee needs help. A clear example of where referral would be necessary
would be where your mentee is experiencing challenges of a personal or psychological nature. As a
mentor, you are not expected to be a counsellor or a psychologist, and you should refer your
mentee on to those trained professionals whose role it is to help them. Details of HSE Employee
https://www.hse.ie/eng/staff/workplacehthwellbng/stfsuprts/eacounsell/
Make a note of anything that you have agreed to do in order to help your ment
Agree a timeframe for which you will follow-up and keep your mentee in the loop should
Likewise, if your mentee has ascertained a particular action that they will take following your
discussions, ensure that this is noted so that you can ask them about it at your subsequent
Drafting a mentoring plan
After you have spent time exploring your mentee’s needs in relation to this programme and
establishing the areas in which you can support their development, you will be ready to
Open
How do you feel about giving a presentation to senior management?
Scaling
•On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate the experience of giving a presentation to senior management?
Hypothetical
•If I told you that you need to give a presentaton to senior management next Monday, how would you feel?
13
How to help: practical ways to support your mentee
it is not up to you to find a quick solution to the challenges faced by your mentee, and
you are not expected to have all the answers. A mentor is a facilitator, not a fixer. In many
instances, your role may simply be that of an excellent listener and supportive colleague.
Although there will be cases in which you will be able to help by sharing your own experiences and
knowledge, there will equally be times in which you will need to refer your mentee on to someone
colleague who has had direct
experience of a particular challenge faced by your mentee, or someone who has specific expertise
in an area where the mentee needs help. A clear example of where referral would be necessary
encing challenges of a personal or psychological nature. As a
mentor, you are not expected to be a counsellor or a psychologist, and you should refer your
Details of HSE Employee
https://www.hse.ie/eng/staff/workplacehthwellbng/stfsuprts/eacounsell/
Make a note of anything that you have agreed to do in order to help your mentee.
up and keep your mentee in the loop should
Likewise, if your mentee has ascertained a particular action that they will take following your
an ask them about it at your subsequent
After you have spent time exploring your mentee’s needs in relation to this programme and
establishing the areas in which you can support their development, you will be ready to create a
presentaton to
how would you
Testing
•I get the impression from what you have said that you need more time to become comfortable giving presentations to senior management. Is that right?
14
Although creating a plan is a collaborative process, your mentee should take the first step in putting
together a draft plan in their own time. You can then take time to review this plan by yourself, before
meeting again to discuss it further and give your feedback and input.
A mentoring plan can outline areas for development and list objectives for these areas. It can also
highlight methods that may be used in meeting the objectives, and outline specific areas in which
the mentor has offered to help. The plan should cover short, medium and long-term goals, and
should aim to cover the length of the mentoring relationship – in this case, six months. Essentially, it
will outline a shared vision about what this mentoring relationship ultimately aims to achieve. A
mentoring plan underscores the idea that this is a professional relationship. It will provide a useful
resource from which meeting agendas can be set, as well as a tool for reflection at the end of the
process.
Goal-setting tools
Setting goals will provide a framework for your mentoring plan. Your mentee may find it helpful to
use one of the following models that are available to help with identifying and achieving goals:
• SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time-based)
• GROW (Goal, Reality, Options (or obstacles), Will (or way forward)
• Ulrich’s “Four Threes”
When? What?
3 hours What specific thing will you do in the next 3 hours?
3 days What will you do in the next 3 days to demonstrate sustained commitment?
3 weeks What will you put in your diary where you demonstrate the new behaviour and
get feedback on it?
3 months What will it look like when the change is embedded?
“Ulrich, D (2008) ‘Coaching for results’ Business Strategy Series 9(3):104-14
You can also help your mentee articulate a goal by using the ‘Miracle’ question, where the mentee
visualises the goal having been obtained, and imagines their own feelings and actions as well as
the reactions of those around them. This helps the goal seem real and obtainable.
Learning styles and personality types
In your mentoring role you will need to be aware of the different ways in which people approach
learning. You should also be prepared for the fact that your mentee may be very different from
yourself in this regard.
• Some people are active learners (they prefer to ‘do’ first, in order to learn). You may be
able to help them by suggesting opportunities for more practical experience – for example,
networking, giving a presentation or taking on additional responsibilities.
• Your mentee may however be a reflective learner (they are happier to ‘learn’ first, in order
to later ‘do’). They might prefer reading material that you have recommended, shadowing
an experienced colleague, attending talks and presentations.
15
• To learn effectively, the best approach is to utilise both types of learning. However in the
initial stages of your relationship you may find that your are more likely to help develop your
mentee’s confidence if you are aware of and respect their preferred style
Your approach to helping your mentee and your feedback on the mentoring plan they have drafted
will need to reflect the kind of learner they are but also the kind of person they are. Are they
creative, spontaneous and impulsive? Are they reserved, logical and methodical? An understanding
of different people styles will help you to build a rapport with your mentee and ultimately lead to a
more productive relationship.
You might find it helpful to have a look at Robert Bolton and Dorothy Grover Bolton’s work on
categorizing personality types into four main styles: Driver; Expressive; Amiable; Analytical. (Bolton,
R and Grover Bolton D. (1984). Social Style / Management Style – Developing Productive Work
Relationships. New York: American Management Associations).
Think about where your personality sits amongst these styles. How will you approach mentoring
someone with a very different style from you? What techniques might work best for different
people? For example, the Amiable may do well when encouraged to develop a methodical
mentoring plan, with clear milestones. The Expressive may not take to this approach in the same
way.
Giving effective feedback
As your mentoring relationship progresses, you will begin to give feedback to your mentee. To give
feedback in a constructive way, keep the guidelines below in mind.
Guidelines for giving feedback
1. Never underestimate the motivating power of positive feedback. Always start with the
positive. This way you are acknowledging and praising strengths, as well as pinpointing
areas for improvement.
2. Focus on the behaviour – not the person themselves. Don’t say “you are very negative”,
say instead “that was not a particularly constructive thing to do”. Try to be specific and clear
about the behaviour which you feel could be improved.
3. Offer alternative solutions or suggestions as the way forward.
4. Make it clear to your mentee that is their choice as to whether to act on your feedback or
not.
Getting feedback
• At your first meeting it is also worthwhile to mention to your mentee that you are happy to
receive feedback from them about how they are experiencing the mentoring process in
general and, more specifically, about your mentoring relationship.
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• Build in to the mentoring plan specific timeframes in which you and your mentee can
discuss the mentoring relationship and how it is proceeding.
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PART III: MENTORING IN REVIEW
Reflecting on your role
Mentoring is a role that requires continual reflection and review. At the end of each session with
your mentee, think about how it went. You might want to use a reflective journal to record your
thoughts. Alternatively you may find the self-assessment table below useful to complete after the
first session(s). You can revisit it periodically throughout the mentoring process. If you are feeling
brave, you can ask your mentee for their input on how you should answer!
At the end of the mentoring relationship you will have the opportunity to reflect on and give
feedback on the six-month process. You may be able to identify areas in which you feel further
training is required, or pinpoint areas where you would personally strive for improvement in your
next mentoring role.
Your mentoring skills and attributes: a self-assessment tool
Reflecting on mentoring skills: tick the answer that most applies
Always Mostly I need to improve on
this
I am an active listener
I am observant
I use questioning techniques to open up
discussion
I show empathy and a desire to understand
before being understood
I demonstrate respect
I give feedback that is constructive and will help in
building confidence
I adapt to my mentee’s personality and learning
styles
I refer my mentee to other sources of support
where appropriate
I explain ideas and concepts clearly
I am patient
I show that I have a sense of humour
I am supportive and encouraging
I encourage my mentee to come up with their own
solutions
I am positive
I am able to motivate my mentee
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Further Information:
Further information available from Sibeal Carolan at [email protected], Mentoring Programme
Co-ordinator.
Acknowledgements:
Sincere thank you to Katharine Slattery, Peer Mentoring and Team in Diversity Equality & Inclusion
for their involvement and progression to date.