Advice Line: 01473 228270

Newsletter No.81 February 2019 Registered Charity No. 1069296

Patron Mark Murphy

Sally Winston—Chief Executive

How can you support Lighthouse in

2019?

Here’s to a great fundraising year in 2019

Over the last few months Lighthouse has seen significant change.

Our two Service Managers left us in November last year. Gill

Dean (Refuge) retired and Nicky Parris (Centre) moved on to

pastures new setting up her dog grooming business. We have now

welcomed our new Service Manager, Jo Bigger who joined at an

interesting time, and was met by a baptism of fire as yet again we

were blown away by the generosity of individuals and

organisations providing gifts and donations for our women, young

people and children at Christmas.

Following the excellent news of continued funding for our Centre

we have been able to recruit two key admin and frontline posts

which will strengthen much needed resources across the

organisation.

We pride ourselves at Lighthouse for going that extra mile for our

service users but sometimes we are faced with impossible

situations. The impact Universal Credit has had on women being

able to access Legal Aid in time for court hearings is alarming.

Women wait weeks before Universal Credit is awarded during

which time they find themselves in the impossible situation of

being unrepresented in court. This can have a devastating impact

on the outcome particularly when it comes to family court

proceedings.

We look forward to the domestic abuse bill currently going

through parliament which will legislate against perpetrators cross

examining victims in court but this does not resolve the situation

on non-representation for women whose self-esteem and

confidence is already on the floor. This is not ok and needs to

change.

My huge thanks again to the generosity of our public and

supporters, without this we would not be able to carry all the

positive things we do with and for our women, young people and

children and there is so much that we do do, through our

dedicated team of staff and volunteers who are truly brilliant.

Thank You

Lighthouse have a number of events this year that you will be

able to support, whether you are looking for a personal

challenge, to support an event with a raffle prize, or attend

one of our many events.

Take a look at our website for a list of events that you may

wish to participate in; www.lighthousewa.org.uk.

Lighthouse have been extremely lucky to be chosen by the

Suffolk Land Rover Owners Club as one of their two charities of

the year. This means that there are a number of events

throughout the year where Lighthouse will be in attendance to

help the Land Rover Society raise much needed funds for both

charities. Members donate their time, their cars and their

diesel in order to help SLROC offer Off-Road Rides at various

country shows around the county. One Hundred Percent

(100%) of the money raised at these events is donated to the

nominated charities for that year. Some of these dates are:

Suffolk Show 29th & 30th May, Heveningham Hall Country Fair

22nd & 23rd June, Festival of Wheels -Trinity Park 3rd & 4th

August.

If you are looking for a personal challenge, there is the Great

East Swim at Alton Water 22nd June, a Raft Race at Needham

Lakes in June (date to be confirmed), Women on Wheels in

Kesgrave 8th September and the Great East Run in Ipswich on

22nd September.

If you are looking for something a little more sedate and

something to tax your brain then the Lighthouse Annual Quiz

on 14th November may well be for you.

If you would like to support Lighthouse with any of these

events and would like some further information please take a

look at our website or contact Deb on 01473 228274 or email

deb@lighthousewa.org.uk

Refuge Services Jo Bigger - Service Manager

Christmas was a very busy time in the Refuge, thanks to all the amazing donations there were plenty of presents for all the residents

and children and the Refuge was awash with wrapping!

Thanks to Farlingaye High School for their hampers full of goodies, we even had a large polar bear filled to the brim, once empty

these hampers were used to help decorate the hall for our Refuge Christmas party. The Christmas party went well with even

residents that arrived that day coming along to take part. The children's entertainer and disco were particularly popular, will lots of

party games and dancing to give everyone a wonderful time .

The Refuge continues to be busy with residents moving out to start their new lives and new residents moving in to get the support

that they need to begin the journey towards starting their new lives. Additionally Refuge hold a cookery course and this continues to

be extremely popular, as do the regular money advice and the Health Visitor drop ins.

Christmas presents were delivered to the women and children who were still receiving help with resettling, the feedback from these

women was overwhelmingly positive and they truly appreciate the support that Lighthouse continues to give. The move from Refuge

into their own homes can be daunting and the resettlement workers role is key in ensuring that these moves are successful.

Refuge does hold a number of challenges in helping the women and children move on and these can include: lack of legal aid for

some women, which continues to be a challenge with some residents having no choice but to go to court without legal

representation and in all these cases the women would have to face their perpetrator. Also the difficulty of getting children in to

school mid-term can be very unsettling for the children and mums as it is particularly important that the children settle as quickly a

possible.

Domestic Abuse Awareness in the Workplace Training 28th

February 2019

10am - 4pm at Westgate House, Ipswich

This training is designed to highlight the impact of domestic abuse in all our

communities – this specifically addresses the issues within the workplace. By raising

awareness through training we are encouraging employers to take action so that

skilled and experienced staff are able to retain their jobs and feel safe and supported

in their workplace. We highlight the fact that domestic abuse is a serious but

preventable issue in our society. Our message is that:

Many employees are affected by domestic abuse

Domestic abuse impacts on the productivity, performance, attendance, emotional

and physical health of employees

Domestic abuse is a human rights and equality issue and a health and safety

concern

Employers can make a difference

All employers have a duty of care to have a domestic abuse workplace policy in

place

Taking action works

Evidence for needing action against domestic abuse in the workplace:

Domestic abuse currently costs UK businesses over £2.7 billion per year

In the UK more than 20% of employees take time off work because of domestic

violence and 2% lose their jobs as a direct result of the abuse

75% of employees that experience domestic abuse are targeted at work – from

harassing phone calls and abusive partners arriving at their place of work

unannounced to physical assault.

(Walby 2009)

We have developed a two tier training programme - Level 1 is suitable for all staff

and Level 2 is for HR Professionals and Line Managers. For more information and

costs please contact Deb on 01473 228274 or deb@lighthousewa.org.uk

Farlingaye students do it again

Christmas 2018 - WOW!!

Lighthouse would like to send our sincere thanks to all those that donated Christmas Gifts and

Food to help Lighthouse give the women, young people and children that we support a brighter

Christmas.

Lighthouse are humbled by the support we receive from our local community groups,

businesses , churches, schools, individuals and many more. Each year it is a real pleasure to see

those supporters return to support Lighthouse yet again and to know that they value the work

Lighthouse carries out. Whether this is providing safe refuge, providing therapeutic

programmes, raising awareness of domestic abuse or training for both businesses and schools.

Lighthouse really could not continue to support the women, young people and children with

this valued and continued support.

WAYS TO DONATE

Simply go to:

www.virginmoneygiving.com

And follow the

instructions on screen

Thank You

‘Just Text Giving’

Simply text LHWA35

Followed by your

donation amount to

70070

( e.g LHWA35 £5)

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Thank You

How do these students do it? Again this year

Lighthouse have received the most amazing

array of hampers designed and built by the

students at Farlingaye High School. These

wonderful creations are then filled with

fabulous festive food and delivered to our

Refuge and Women’s Community Centre. This

year we had a Grinch advent calendar, The

Grinch popping out of a chimney, a polar bear, a piano and a huge

bauble to name but a few. Our thanks go out to all the staff and students for their efforts and

continued support

Another great collection from Blocks Solicitors

Once again Lighthouse Women’s Aid

would like to sincerely thank Frances

Barker and her team at Blocks

Solicitors for yet again hosting

another hugely successful Christmas

Appeal. Blocks have been kindly providing this service for some years now and during this

time have collected hundreds of gifts, including toys, toiletries, perfume and chocolates

for the women and children that find themselves at the refuge with us at this time of year.

We have had another plentiful year and it never ceases to amaze us , the generosity of the

people of Ipswich who have helped make Christmas a happier time for the women, young

people and children Lighthouse support..

More support and events over the last few months…...

Stella Acapella are an all female choir based at Museum Street Methodist

Church in Ipswich. In October they held a performance at the church and raised

and raised £250.00 for Lighthouse

Suffolk One held a

collection in the college

and lots of lovely gifts

were donated for

Lighthouse. Mediterranean Shipping Company

once again held their yearly

collection for Lighthouse and

collected a huge amount of

wonderful gifts and food

A candlelight vigil was held at The

Lady Chapel, Bury St Edmunds

Cathedral by the East Suffolk

Mother’s Union One of the beautiful cakes

donated for the Women’s

Community Centre Christmas

party.

Raising Awareness continues………...

Lighthouse have been busy raising

awareness of domestic abuse and the

work Lighthouse carries out, with two

stands at Tesco stores in the county

this January

Thank you to everyone that supports

the work we do here at Lighthouse

it makes a huge difference to the lives

of the women, young people and

children we support.

Mr & Mrs Bradbrook

Ipswich Vineyard Church

Eileen Schlee

Kayleigh & Stacey from Stowhealth

Stuart O’Leary

Church of Jesus Christ and Later Day Saints

Framlingham Community Baptist Church

Carole Groom

Cornzockle Quilters and Ladies Group

Linda Pollard

Liz Cutting

Methodist Church Ladies Group, Stowmarket

Mr & Mrs Crawford

Rectory Garden Montessori Mrs & Mrs Green

Rushmere Baptist Church

Woodbridge Methodist Church

British Union Lodge No114

Rendlesham Parish Council

Fenella Ford

Jenness Proctor

Stella Benton

Abby Mellor

Patient Experience Team

St Thomas the Apostle Church

Dickens Road Community Centre

St Joseph’s College

St Martin’s Church,

St Mary’s Church, Grundisburgh

St Mary’s Church, Monewden

Westbourne High School

Charlotte McCarthy

Chrissy Todd

Elaine Devlin

Fair Share

Haymills House—Mental Health

Jenny Proctor

Victim Care

Zoe Robinson

Pam Butler

Farlingaye High School

Doreen Lambert

Sarah Dommett

Hintlesham & Chattisham Parish Council

Chevington Parish Council

IS PMO & Account Manager, Information Systems

Department, Port of Felixstowe

Carly Bamling

Tammy & Peter

Alison Jones

Suffolk Police

The Deben Churches

Burstall Parish Council

Stowmarket & District Lions Club

Susie Laws

Victim Care

St Mary’s Church, Battisford

More Poetry and Prose …….

The work here has been created by inspirational women who have been supported by Lighthouse. A number of women came

together to join a creative writing workshop facilitated by the Writer of POLSTEAD - Beth Flintoff. Here are just two of pieces of

work, that are both insightful and heart wrenching.

Leave your Evil Ways……

Had I not been abused since I was a young child, I would have known that my body belonged to me and no one else had a right to

use if for their evil, wicked ways.

I had finally had enough, I left on cold January evening with our eighteen-month old boy.

So scared of your evil way and treatment, I snuck out in the night sky like a thief, whilst you were at work. Afraid that the

neighbours would see me.

We had four good years together, or maybe I was blinkered. How was I to know that the birth of our wonderful son would be the

start of your evil ways? Nothing I did for our wonderful baby would ever be enough or correct. The night my waters broke you

verbally hammered down on me that I was stupid, hopeless and too lazy to give birth. It’s only now through deep emotional

counselling that I can see you are truly a narcissist. Why you were not christened ‘Evil’ at birth I will never know. You see no wrong

in what you do, telling others I made you do it. But how can that be? I had no control over your fist, mouth or abusive language.

My decision to leave your evil ways had been building up. Unbeknown to you I had already visited a refuge but so scared of what

you would do, I refused. However after that final beating when I had to have major surgery on New year’s Eve, I decided I could not

tolerate it anymore and that, if I remained , I would surely be found dead one day—due to the severe reign of beatings you bore

down upon me. I lost count of the number of times your raped me, I know I always felt dirty, unclean, just like the scum you would

find around the basin.

You made sure no one knew by refusing to allow me friends, or freedom to come and go as I needed. Not even to meet our son’s

needs was I allowed to leave our home without explanation or reporting to you my every movement.

As I write about my experiences of your evil life dictated upon me, I feel sad and angry. But I am happy to say I now have complete

freedom. I have survived your evilness. Which makes me a survivor, and I will go on and use my strengths to help others who

encounter the evilness of narcissism.

Whilst I have my freedom, happiness and a child to be so proud of, what do you have today?

But now when I look back with the knowledge I have, I know how blind I was to not realise from day one what you were really

about. I now know that no-one else will ever use me or disrespect my body.

Kind and Good-Natured Young Man …...

I lived in a totalitarian state.

It was a small country.

The bed, the sofa, the kitchen,

Were the places that the torture took place.

No apology, or admission of guilt set me free.

Outside was a democracy,

Where people were free to dissent and disobey.

They weren’t tortured or raped,

By my kind and good-natured young man.

We truly appreciate all

clothes and toys

donated and we could

not survive as an

organisation without

them. However, where

we receive too many to

cope with, they may be

sold and monies used to

support clients in the

spirit of the initial

donations.

Thank You

Volunteering with Lighthouse

It’s an exciting time for volunteering. At Lighthouse, we are always looking for ways to develop the services we offer to local

women, young people and children. Volunteers are a vital part of the team, providing the helping hands we need to deliver

essential support to those who have experienced or who are at risk of experiencing domestic abuse.

We offer volunteers a range of opportunities to get involved to match their interests, skill set and availability. Lighthouse provide a

comprehensive induction and training to ensure volunteers feel confident in their roles. There are opportunities to develop new

skills and the flexibility to move between roles.

Lighthouse are looking for volunteers who are passionate about helping others, with the energy and commitment to get involved

and make a difference.

We are particularly interested in talking to people who would like to help with fundraising events. Our partnership this year with

The Suffolk Land Rover Owners Club means we need willing hands to support events over the summer, volunteering on specific

Saturday’s or Sunday’s at Country Shows, Fairs and Festivals in the county. Fundraising volunteer roles are open to both men and

women.

If you’re interested, please contact Deb on 01473 228274 or email deb@lighthousewa.org.uk

Lighthouse Women’s Aid is affiliated to Women’s Aid Federation England

Registered Charity No: 1069296 Our registered company name is Lighthouse Women's Aid. Registered Company No: 3532428. Registered in England.

Course and Events Diary 2019

Course/Events Day Dates Times

Open Café Monday Weekly 10am to 12pm

Creative Coffee Mornings Wednesday Weekly 10am to 12pm

Advice Appointments (1hr)

(please call the office to book a slot)

Mon to Fri

Weekly

9am to 4pm

Legal Surgeries

(please call the office to book a slot)

Monthly Monthly 9.30am to 1pm

Money Advice Session

(please call the office to book a slot)

Fridays

(fortnightly)

9am to 3pm

Freedom Programmes

Tuesdays

Wednesdays

Meet & Greet

11 weeks

(Excl School Holidays)

Meet & Greet

11 weeks

10am to 11am

10am to 11.30am

6pm to 7pm

6pm to 7.30pm

DART (Domestic Abuse Recovery

Together)

Fridays 10 weeks

(Excl School Holidays)

12pm to 2.15pm

The Power To Change Programme Thursdays 12 weeks (Excl School Holidays) 12.30pm to 2.30pm

Who’s in Charge

Wednesdays

8 weeks (Excl School Holidays) 12.30pm to 2.30pm

We currently operate a waiting list for most of our Courses and hope to run them again in

April 2019. All Service Users must complete a Registration Form and have an Advice

Appointment. This is to make sure we are offering the most suitable programme for you.

Please call the Women’s Centre to find out more - 01473 228270

New appointments at Lighthouse

Towards the end of 2018 Lighthouse have had a number of new appointments due to staff

moving onto new challenges and also a restructure of our Refuge and Community Services

management.

Kat has joined Lighthouse as the new Women’s Community Centre Administrator on a part

time basis. Kat is an experienced administrator with many years of PA work in London and

Ipswich and has chosen Lighthouse as her return to work position after taking a career

break.

Lungile joined our head office team as HR & Office Administrator, and has a background of

administration within the local care profession., Lungile joined Lighthouse after a short

career break.

Jo has taken over as the Service Manager with Lighthouse and now jointly manages the

Refuge and Women’s Community Centre. Jo has a varied background supporting children,

young people and families. Originally qualifying as a Careers Adviser and working in London

and then Suffolk for Connexions , Jo also has extensive experience of managing services

providing whole family support as well as managing Carers work

Community Services Update:

By Jo Bigger - Services Manager

If you would like to

receive this newsletter on

a quarterly basis please

email

deb@lighthousewa.org.uk

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Keep In

Touch

The Christmas period once again was busy in the centre, the donations really helped as

Lighthouse were able to provide service users and their children with gifts and food for the

festive period. Lighthouse also run a project with probation for women who are required to

complete community service and they use part of this time to decorate the centre and make

it festive.

The Crisis role has been key ensuring that women experiencing domestic abuse get the

advice that they need. Legal advice can be key to this and the legal surgeries are always full.

We are very grateful to the local solicitors that provide this service to Lighthouse free of

charge.

The Freedom Programme, Power to Change, Domestic Abuse Recovering Together and

Whose in Charge programmes had a break over Christmas, but we are just starting our next

round of programmes. Programmes are a really good way of women supporting each other

and the feedback is always good.

Become a Member of Lighthouse and you will be helping local

women and children recover from the trauma of domestic abuse

Suggested minimum membership is £25 per year for which you will receive:

lapel badge and car sticker to show your support

Regular Newsletter keeping you up-to-date with all that’s happening

the opportunity to influence our work by having a vote at General Meetings

the chance to become a Trustee

To become a member complete the form and return it to us with your payment.

Head Office,

Westgate House,

Museum Street,

Ipswich IP1 1HQ

Tel: 01473 220770

Emails: admin@lighthousewa.org.uk

Community Women’s Centre,

37 Berners Street,

Ipswich IP1 3LN

Tel: 01473 228270

Email: info@lighthousewas.org.uk

CONTACTS

Editor…………………………..Sally Winston

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Signature: ________________________________________ Date: ________________

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By Standing Order, please use the following details:

Bank Name: Natwest, 2-8 Tavern Street, Ipswich IP1 3BD

Account Name: Lighthouse Women’s Aid Ltd Sort Code: 53-61-24 Account Number: 66764599

To pay online through Virgin Money Giving, please log on to:

Www.virginmoneygiving.com, put Lighthouse Women’s Aid in the search box and click on ‘make a donation’

DATA PROTECTION: We would like to keep you up to date with news and fundraising activities. If you would not like to receive this information,

please tick We will not

disclose your details to anyone else.

As a UK taxpayer you can use Gift Aid to make your donation go further.

Lighthouse Women's Aid can claim at least an extra 25p for every £1 donated and it won’t cost you a penny more. All you need to do is tick and sign:

Please treat all donations for the last four years, this donation and all future donations to Lighthouse Women’s Aid, as Gift Aid donations until I notify you otherwise.

I am a UK taxpayer and understand that if I pay less Income Tax and/or Capital Gains Tax than the amount of Gift Aid claimed on all my donations in

that tax year it is my responsibility to pay any difference. Signature: __________________________________Date: _________________