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After Diagnosis

So getting a diagnosis is the first step to helping your child with special

needs -- what's the next one? Often, your direction will be determined

byyour child's particular disability,but here are some follow-ups that are

common to most families.

Consider getting a second opinion.f you ha!e any doubts about

the diagnosis or about the doctor who ga!e it to you, see" out a second

opinion. Some disabilities are diagnosed on the basis of tests that are

definiti!e, but others rely on a large degree of interpretation and

professional #udgment. Different doctors can ma"e those interpretations

differently. $he gut instinct of a parent who li!es with a child day in and

day out is often at least as accurate as the opinion of a doctor who sees

the child for a short period of time in an examining room. t's important

to accept reality and not endlessly defer the help your child needs, but it's

also important to get a diagnosis that feels right to you, the expert on

your child.

Let yourself mourn.Once you'!eaccepteda diagnosis, it's natural togo through a period of mourningfor the %perfect% child you'!e dreamt of

and the life that your child and your family will not ha!e. $his doesn't

mean you'!e gi!en up or don't thin" your child will ha!e a !aluable and

fulfilling life. t #ust means you ha!e to close one chapter before you

can start the next one. &ecognie, too, that family members,e!en

extended family members, may be going through a similar period of

grie!ing, and respect that the reactions you encounter during this time

may not be true to the help and support you will recei!e from them in thefuture.

Read everything you can find.f there are boo"s on your child's

disability, find them and read them. (ecome an expert not only on your

child but on your child's condition. As" the doctor to recommend some

good boo"s on the sub#ect. )omb the Special *eeds shel!es of boo"stores

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and libraries. Search the !irtual shel!es of online boo"sellers. )onsult

the +arried arent's (oo" )lubon this site for ideas and re!iews. ou

may not find any single boo" that truly explains or encapsulates your

child, but o!er a number of different sources you may be able to gather

useful tips and information that will help you assemble your own picture.n addition to ma"ing you better informed, reading can help you feel li"e

you're doing something e!en if you're not emotionally ready to do much

else.

Share with family and friends.ou may fear the #udgments and

reactions of others when you tell them the news of your child's special

needs, and indeed you may not get the response you hope for from

e!eryone you lo!e. (ut support from a close circle of family and friends isone of the most important resources parents of children with special

needs can ha!e, and people can't support you if you don't gi!e them a

chance. $here may be surprises, as you find friends and relati!es you

thought you could count on slipping away and others you ne!er expected

much from stepping up and pitching in. *ot e!eryone is euipped to be a

special friend to an exceptional child. (ut the ones who are, are worth

their weight in gold.

Find a support group./riends and family can help in many essential

ways, but they may ne!er be able to understand what parenting your

child is really li"e. $hat's where support groupscome in. ou may be able

to find a li!e support group in your area through organiationsdedicated

to your child's particular disability0 through parent-to-parent programs0

or through your early inter!entionser!ice pro!ider. Or you may prefer to

start with an e-mail groupthat you can access at your con!enience and

with a greater degree of anonymity. 1essage boards li"e the one onthisAbout.comsite can also be a great place to lin" up with parents who

can sympathie directly with your experience and pro!ide support and

ad!ice.

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Start lining up services.f your child will be needing early

inter!entionorspecial education ser!ices,don't wait to ma"e the first

phone calls to set that in motion. t can ta"e months to get the first

appointments and e!aluations scheduled and completed, and you won'twant to add more time to that by dragging your feet. )ontact your state's

early inter!ention office or your school district as soon as those ser!ices

are recommended, and start gathering the reports and information

you're going to need once the process begins. ou're on the special-needs

roller coaster now for sure. /asten your seatbelt and hang on tigh

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