AIRS National I&R Conference 2012Presenter: Heather L. Pierce, CIRS

Dealing With Difficult People

Goals of our workshopTo look at those callers we

term difficult, why we term them as such, and methods we can use to mitigate their impact

We will gain an understanding ofWhich callers we consider

difficultWhat it is that makes them

difficult to work withHow to interact with such

callers in a manner that lessens the impact on you

Working with callers

Sometimes it works…And sometimes it doesn’t…

What makes certain callers “Difficult”?Difficult callers are those

whose:Motivation for calling is

purposes other than I&RNeeds, conditions, or manner of

presentation induces us to feel we lack the skills to address the situation

Contact is motivated by a problem they are unwilling or unable to identify or address

Behavior, lifestyle, or personality we find unattractive or unappealing

Group DiscussionTime to VentYou’ll have 10

minutes for this task.Form small groups of

5-6.First, give everyone a

chance to introduce themselves and share where they are from.

Next, give everyone a chance to share their “most difficult caller”!

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Good Callers Are… Bad Callers Are…

A joy to servePoliteRespectfulThankful

ImpoliteDisrespectfulRudeBelligerentRacistSexist

Why do people act that way?Sometimes, there

are good reasons…

Sometimes, that’s just how some people are!

Goals in I&RTo approach and

understand the behavior of each client objectively

Strive to provide equal service to everyone – within acceptable limits

Remember the people who are the most difficult to serve may need the assistance of an I&R specialist the most!

However!There is no need to

take personal abuse, particularly if it has a racist or sexist element

Different people have different limits of tolerance

Be comfortable that the line you draw for yourself reflects your own personal tolerance level and not the limits of others

Partner DiscussionIn a family situation,

when someone is arguing loudly with you, are you more inclined to shout back or to stay quiet and wait for it to be over?

How do you normally respond when “Provoked”?

Has this changed over the years?

Techniques to defuse anger

First and foremost, respond to their situation with honest empathy and a genuine attempt to help

Remain calm and engage the clientLower your tone of voice and slow the speed of

your wordsTry to demonstrate warmthRepeat an important phrase that the client usesRemain non-judgmentalDefine your role as best you can in terms of

what you can and can’t do

If the client becomes more angry…Do not match their emotionsDo not try to counter their anger

with a long, logical argumentDo not offer weak platitudesDo not get overly defensiveDo not respond with your own

anger, however unjust the accusations

Defuse yourself before you attempt to defuse others

Other tips…Distancing yourself is an important step in

retaining objectivityStop wishing that the person will change or

suddenly become reasonableRedefine your idea of “success” regarding

these callsDon’t dump difficult clients on other

agencies just to get rid of them

Mental health calls and “constant callers”An I&R service receives calls from people

with mental health issues who are not looking for help.May simply be lonelyMay just be a deluge of inappropriate

languageNot a befriending service, but must develop

trust in the serviceThere may be a genuine need for referrals

within the callMay need referrals in the future

Setting boundariesCritical for the overall I&R service to set limits when

clients are being abusive, manipulative, over-demanding, or seriously inappropriate

This applies to both angry callers and constant callersDo not confuse good customer service with passivity

Passive I&R specialists communicate they are willing to “take it”

DISCUSSION ? - When callers are lonely and are calling frequently, what are some of the ways to control the amount of time spent on their calls?

Setting boundaries continuedBoundaries should be explained in a

positive manner whenever possibleExample: “If you stop shouting, I will stay on

the line and talk with you” rather than “If you don’t stop shouting, I’ll hang up”

Consequences should also be clearExample: “If you continue to use that type of

language, I will have no choice but to end the call” or “I will talk with you for the next 5 minutes, but you have to agree that this will be your only call to us today”

Most importantlyRemain courteous

and state boundaries in a professional manner

Be consistent and follow through with any consequences that were outlined

Limits should be shared with others in the agency and generally are group or management decisions

DISCUSSION ? - What would be the consequences if different I&R Specialists within the same service apply different rules on abusive callers and constant callers?

Face-to-Face InterviewsLet someone know what is happening

so they can be ready to assist if required

Do not touch the person.Do not stand over the client.Remain calm but observant.Do not get too close to the client.Look out for signs of increasing

tension.Stay at an angle to the client.If you are in a room with the client,

make sure you have a clear exit path.Get help before the situation

escalates!

Practice Makes PerfectSome of us are uncomfortable with

confrontation and may shut down when confronted with someone who is angry, loud, or abusive.

Find a friend or co-worker and practice!Role play scenarios are available in the

ABC’s of I&R.You’ll be more likely to use the skills you’ve

learned when in an intense situation if you’ve practiced before.

Final noteBe sure to fill your

own cup firstWe all provide better

service and are better able to handle the unpleasantness of some callers when we are in good physical and emotional health

Questions?Thanks for your

participation!Heather Pierce

2-1-1 Call Center CoordinatorUnited Way of the Plains245 N. WaterWichita, KS 67202316-267-1321 ext. 4301hpierce@unitedwayplains.org