Alice in Wonderland

Introduction: Two narrators will start the play by introducing on the character of Alice and

the White Rabbit.

Narrator 1 : Alice is about to discover that Wonderland is nothing like she expected!

Narrator 2 : It's a land filled with racing Lobsters, caterpillar, painting cards, and even a

Cheshire Cat, that's me!

Narrator 1 : You mean us.. But I..

Narrator 2 : Meaning me.

Narrator 1 : That is we!

Narrator 2 : Alice meets a pallid, long-eared, carrot-munching quadruped known only

as...

Both narrators : The White Rabbit!! *crickets chirping sound .

(The Cheshire Cats look at each other and throw a huge smile to audience).

Narrator 1 : Ahem, I said, first she meets..

Both narrators : The White Rabbit!!

Narraror 2 : Oh!! He is always late.

Narrator 1 : Yo, White Rabbit, You’re on! (Calling for White Rabbit while shouting).

Scene 1

(The White Rabbit runs on while carrying a big pocket watch. Alice wakes up and sees him).

White Rabbit: I am late! I am late! I am late!

Alice : How cool is that! I wonder what is the right thing to say to a talking rabbit.

White Rabbit : Oh Dear, dear, dear!

Alice : What's up, doc? No, huh? Uhm, I mean... hi, my name is—

White Rabbit : (Sing the song)

Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!

I’m late, I’m late for a very important date

No time to say ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye’

I’m late, I’m late I’m late I’m late

(narrators sing: he’s overdue …. He’s in a rabbit stew)

Can’t even say goodbye

(All sing : Hello)

I’m late, I’m late I’m late

I run and then I hop hop hop

I wish that I could fly

There’s a danger if I stop stop stop

And here’s the reason why!

I’ll never make it! I’m late. (Talk to audience and jump into the hole).

Narrator 2 : (Alice followed the White Rabbit to the edge of the hole and she stopped).

Alice : Should I or shouldn't I? You know what they say: "If you don't explore,

you'll never discover." But my sister Mathilda always says, "Look before

you leap." Well, I'm looking and it looks deep and dark and I can't see the

bottom and maybe it goes all the way to the center of the earth and I'll be

burnt to a crisp in the molten core like the bad marshmallow we've all heard so

much about! (pause) Or not. (pause) Ok, I looked. Now it's time to leap!

Narrator 2 : (Alice jumped into the rabbit hole. She fell and fell and fell).

Scene 2

Narrator 2 : (Alice then looked around and realized that she has landed inside a small

house with many doors).

Alice : Ouchh!! That’s hurt. (Looking around). Where is this place?

Heyyy!! There is a key on the table. It must be for one of the doors here. Let’s

see…. Oh, it works.. but I can’t fit through this little door.

(Alice looks around and find a bottle of drink).

Alice : Hmm…drink me?? (Drinks) Yummy..it’s delicious..Durian and a bit of Pepsi

flavour…My new favourite!!

Narrator 2 : (As soon as Alice finish the drink, something strange happened).

Alice : Ohh no!!! I’ve just shrank. (Walk into the small door).

Narrator 2 : (Alice is now able to get out through the little door).

Scene 3

White Rabbit : Well, don’t just stand there. Huryy! Bring me my hat and gloves at once.

Hurry up! I’m late I said.

Alice : What?? Uhhh ermmmm…alright…

Narrator 2 : (Alice had no idea what she was doing but she ran into the rabbit’s house).

Alice : What’s just happened? I was talking to a rabbit and now I am running for

him. What a strange place.

Narrator 2 : (Alice entered a small neat and tidy house).

Alice : But… Where are they?? Ahh there they are. (Showing onto a table full with

things) Ohhh!! Looked..a cake..I’ll have some. (Giggling).

Narrator 2 : (Alice ate the whole cake and suddenly she started to grow bigger).

Alice : Ohh..what’s happening to me? I’m getting bigger!!!

White Rabbit : Hurmm.. what’s taking her so long??? (Walking to his house).

Ohhh no!!!!! what’s going on???? (Rabbit ran into the garden to take

something). Get out of here. Eat that once only (while throwing a cookie to

Alice).

Alice : Ohh.. a cookie. Maybe if I eat this it will help. Ncommm ncommm.

Emmm..this tastes good. I want eat more. Ncommmmm…Ohhhh!! I have

become too small.

Narrator 2 : (Alice became smaller than her normal size. Suddenly, she saw a blue

caterpillar).

Scene 4

Caterpillar: A, e i o u, a e i o u, a e i o u, o, u e i o a, u e i a, a e i o u… Who are you?

Alice : I- I- I hardly know, sir! I changed so many times since this morning, you

see…

Caterpillar : I do not see. Explain yourself.

Alice : Why, I’m afraid I can’t explain myself, sir, because I’m not myself, you

know…

Caterpillar : I do not know.

Alice : Well, I can’t put it anymore clearly for it isn’t clear to me!

Caterpillar : You? Who are you?

Alice : Well, don’t you think you ought to tell me- cough-cough, cough-cough, who

you are first?

Caterpillar : Why?

Alice : Oh dear. Everything is so confusing.

Caterpillar : It is not.

Alice : Well, it is to me.

Caterpillar : Why?

Alice : Well, I can’t remember things as I used to, and…

Alice : Well, cough-cough-couch, if you ask me…

Caterpillar : You? Huh, who are you?

Alice : Cough-cough, cough-cough, A-choo! Oh!

Caterpillar : You there! Girl! Wait! Come back! I have something important to say!

Alice : Oh dear. I wonder what he wants now. Well…?

Caterpillar : Keep your temper!

Alice : Is that all?

Caterpillar : No. Exacitically, what is your problem?

Alice : Well, it’s exacitici-, exaciti-, well, it’s precisely this: I should like to be a

little larger, sir.

Caterpillar : Why?

Alice : Well, after all, three inches is such a wretched height, and…

Caterpillar : I am exacitically three inches high, and it is a very good height indeed!

Alice : But I’m not used to it. And you needn’t shout! Oh dear!

Caterpillar : By the way, I have a few more helpful hints. One side will make you grow

taller…

Alice : One side of what?

Caterpillar : …and the other side will make you grow shorter.

Alice : The other side of what?

Caterpillar : The mushroom, of course!!

Alice : Hmm. One side will make me grow… but which is which? Hmm. After all

that’s happened, I- I wonder if I… I don’t care. I’m tired of being only three

inches high -yi -yi -yi -yi -yi!

Scene 5

Alice : Goodness. If the people here are like that, I- I must try not to upset them.

How very curious!

March Hare : …to us. If there are no objections, let it be unanimous!

Mad Hatter : A very merry unbirthday…

March Hare : A very merry unbirthday…

Mad Hatter & March Hare: A very merry unbirthday to us! …

March Hare : A very merry unbirthday to me.

Mad Hatter : To who?

March Hare : To me.

Mad Hatter : Oh you!

March Hare : A very merry unbirthday to you.

Mad Hatter : Who, me?

March Hare : Yes, you.

Mad Hatter : Oh me!

(Alice wants to join them in a tea party)

March Hare & Mad Hatter: No room, no room, no room, no room, no room.

Alice : But I thought there was plenty of room!

March Hare : Ah, but it’s very rude to sit down without being invited!

Mad Hatter : Indeed. Very very rude!

Alice : Oh, I’m very sorry, but I did enjoy your singing and I wondered if you could

tell me…

March Hare : You enjoyed our singing?

Mad Hatter : Oh, what a delightful child! Hah! I’m so excited, we never get compliments!

You must have a cup of tea!

Alice : That would be very nice. I’m sorry I interrupted your birthday party… uh,

thank you.

March Hare : Birthday? Hahaha! My dear child, this is not a birthday party!

Mad Hatter : Of course not! Hehehe! This is an unbirthday party!

Alice : Unbirthday? Why, I’m sorry, but I don’t quite understand.

March Hare : Its very simple. Now, thirty days have sept- no, when… an unbirthday, if you

have a birthday then you… haha… she doesn’t know what an unbirthday is!

Mad Hatter : How silly! Ha ha ha ha! Ah-hum… I shall elucidate! Now statistics prove,

prove that you’ve one birthday.

March Hare : Imagine, just one birthday every year.

Mad Hatter : Ahhh, but there are 364 unbirthdays!

March Hare : Precisely why we’re gathered here to cheer!

Alice : Why, then today is my unbirthday too!

March Hare : It is?

Mad Hatter : What a small world this is.

March Hare : In that case… a very merry unbirthday.

Alice : To me?

Mad Hatter : To you!

March Hare : Would you like a cup of tea?

Alice : Of course!

Mad Hatter : Clean cup, clean cup! Move down!

Alice : But I haven’t used my cup!

March Hare : Clean cup, clean cup, move down, move down, clean cup, clean cup, move

down!

Mad Hatter : And now, my dear, something seems to be troubling you. Uh, won’t you tell

us all about it?

March Hare : Start from the beginning.

Alice : Oh, yes. I was sitting on the riverbank with uh… with you know who…

Mad Hatter : I do, hehehe?

Alice : I mean my (whispering to mad hatter)

Mad Hatter : Tea?

March Hare : Just half a cup if you don’t mind.

March Hare : I have an excellent idea! Let’s change the subject!

Mad Hatter : Why is a raven like a writing desk?

Alice : Riddles? Let me see now. Why is a raven like a writing desk?

Mad Hatter : I beg your pardon?

Alice : Why is a raven like a writing desk?

Mad Hatter : Why is a what?

March Hare : Careful! She’s stark raving mad!

Alice : But- but it’s your silly riddle! You just said…

Mad Hatter : Very good??!

March Hare : How about a nice cup of tea?

Alice : A nice cup of tea, indeed! Well, I’m sorry, but I just have no time!

March Hare : The time, the time! Who’s got the time?

White Rabbit : No, no, no, no! No time, no time, no time! Hello, goodbye! I’m late! I’m

late!

Alice : The white rabbit!

White Rabbit : Oh, I’m so late! I’m so very very late!

Mad Hatter : Well, no wonder you’re late! Why, this clock is exactly two days slow!

White Rabbit : Two days slow?

Mad Hatter : Of course you’re late. Hahaha! My goodness. We’ll have to look into this.

A-ha! I see what’s wrong with it! Why, this watch is full of wheels!

White Rabbit : Oh, my poor watch! Oh, my wheels! My springs! But- but- but- but, but- but-

but…

Mad Hatter : Scalpel!

March Hare : Scalpel!

Mad Hatter : Forceps! Of course, we need some

March Hare : Forceps!

White Rabbit : For-for-ceps?

Mad Hatter : Pliers!

March Hare : Pliers!

White Rabbit : Oh no no, no no no

Mad Hatter : Scissors!

March Hare : Coming your way!

Mad Hatter : Peanut Butter!

March Hare : Peanut Butter!

Mad Hatter : And finally, some lime juice!

March Hare : Lime Juice (dip watch into juice)

White Rabbit : Oh no. Not lime juice.

Mad Hatter : Oh look at that!

March Hare : Its going mad!

Alice : Oh, my goodness!

White Rabbit : Oh dear!

March Hare : It is going mad! Mad watch! Mad watch!

Mad Hatter : Oh, look! Oh my goodness!

March hare : There’s only one way to stop a mad watch! (hitting the watch)

Mad Hatter : Two days slow, that’s what it is.

White Rabbit : Oh, my watch…

Mad Hatter : It was?

White Rabbit : And it was an unbirthday present too.

March Hare : Well, in that case…

March Hare & Mad Hatter: A very merry unbirthday to you!

Alice : Mister Rabbit! Oh, mister Rabbit! Oh, now where did he go to?

Alice : Of all the silly nonsense, this is the stupidest tea party I’ve ever been to in all

my life. Well, I’ve had enough nonsense. I’m going home. Straight home.

That rabbit. Who cares where he’s going anyway. Why, if it hadn’t been for

him I… ‘Tulgey Wood’… Hmm, curious. I don’t remember this. Now let me

see… Oh! Uh, no no, please. No more nonsense. Now, if I came this way, I

should go back this way!

Scene 6

Card Painter 1 :  We’re painting the roses red.

Card Painter 2 : We’re painting the roses red!

Alice : Oh, pardon me, but mister Two, why must you paint them red?

Card Painter 2 : Huh? Oh! Well, the fact is, we planted the white roses by mistake. And, the

queen, she likes them red. If she see this, she will raise a fuss and each of us

would quickly loose his head.

Alice : Goodness!

Card Painter 1 : Since this is the thought we dread, we’re painting the roses red!

Alice : Oh dear! Then let me help you! Painting the roses red.

Card Painter 1 : Not pink, not green.

Alice : Not aquamarine.

Card Painter 2 : The Queen! The Queen!

Alice : The Queen?

Card Painters : The Queen!

Queen : Cards, halt! Count off!

Cards : One, two.

Alice : The rabbit!

White Rabbit : He…he… her imperial highness, he… her grace, her excellency, her royal

majesty, the Queen of Hearts!

Queen : Hum… Who’s been painting my roses red? Who’s been painting my roses

red? Who dares to taint, with vulgar paint, the royal flower bed? For painting

my roses red, someone will lose his head!

Card Painter 1 : Oh, no! Your majesty! Please, it’s all his fault!

Card Painter 2 : Not me, your grace! The Ace, the Ace!

Queen : You?

Card Painter 2 : No, Two!

Queen : The Deuce you say?

Card Painter 2 : Not me, the Ace!

Queen : That’s enough! Off with their heads!

(The cards start to run all over the place)

Queen : Stop

Alice : Oh, please, please! They were only trying to…

Queen : And who is this?

Card Painter 1 : Uh… well, well, well, now, eh… let me see, my dear. It certainly isn’t a

heart… do you suppose it’s a club?

Queen : Why, it’s a little girl.

Alice : Yes, and- and I was hoping…

Queen : Look up, speak nicely, and don’t twiddle your fingers! Turn out your toes.

Curtsey. Open your mouth a little wider, and always say ‘yes, your majesty’!

Alice : Yes, your majesty! But I want to ask…

Queen : I’ll ask the questions! Do you play Simon Says?

Alice : Why, yes, your majesty.

Queen : Then let the game begin!

(Queen sing the song.)

Simon says, "curtsey."

Simon says, "bow."

Simon says, "genuflect."

Simon says, "meow."

Simon says, "swim upstream."

Simon says, "think about what I'm saying."

Simon says, "scream."

Simon says, "grovel at my feet like spineless dogs."

Now stand up! (All but Alice stand up.)

I didn't say "Simon Says!" Off with their heads!

Queen approaches Alice.

Queen : So you have play this game before?

Alice : Oh yes You Majesty, I love Simon Says.

Queen : Oh does Simon loves you, I wonder?

Queen : Simon Says stand up! Time for the second round. (Queen grabs Alice hand to

the front)

Queen continues singing the Simon Says.

Simon says, "hop on one leg."

Simon says, "do jumping jacks."

Simon says, "leap like a frog."

Simon says, "melt like wax."

Simon says, "walk like a monster."

Simon says, "scream with no sound."

Simon says, "tap dance."

Simon says, "sit on the ground."

Stand up. Stand up I say!

Simon says, "hold one foot behind your back and wave your arms and sing at the top of your

lungs."

(Alice sings Twinkle Twinkle Little Star)

Queen : Oh, I loathe that song! Stop singing, before my ears explode! Take her away!

White Rabbit : But- but consider, my Queen. Couldn’t she have a trial… uh… first?

Queen : Trial?

White Rabbit : Well, just a… uh… little trial? Hmm?

Queen : Hmm. Very well then. Let the trial begin!

Scene 7

White rabbit came with a scroll (trumpet sound)

White Rabbit : Your Majesty, members of the jury, loyal subjects

White Rabbit : The prisoner at the bar is charged with enticing her majesty, the Queen of

Hearts, into a game of Simon Says, and thereby wilfully..

Alice : But…

White Rabbit : ..and with malice aforethought, teasing, tormenting, and otherwise annoying

our beloved…

Queen : Don’t mind all that! Get to the part where I loose my temper.

White Rabbit : Bwbwbwl… thereby causing the queen to loose her temper.

Queen : Now, Ha ha… are you ready for your sentence?

Alice : Sentence? Ah, but there must be a verdict first!

Queen : Sentence first! Verdict afterwards.

Alice : But that just isn’t the way!

Queen : All ways are…

Alice : Your ways, your majesty.

Queen : Yes, my child. Off with her…

White Rabbit : Consider, Your Majesty. Uh… we called no witnesses… Uh… couldn’t we

hear… maybe one or two? Ha? Maybe?

Queen : Oh, very well. But get on with it!

Rabbit : Alright then, witness one… the Ace.

Card Painter 1 : She cheated during the game! I saw with my two eyes.

Rabbit : Witness two.. the Deuce.

Queen : What have you to say about this?

Card Painter 2 : Twinkle, twinkle, little bat. How I wonder…

Queen : That’s the most important piece of evidence we’ve heard yet. Write that

down!

Jury : Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle…

Alice : Twinkle, twinkle. What next?

Card Painter 1 : Let me see.. hmmm.. She wears pink lipstick.

Alice : That’s my favorite color!

Card Painter 2 : She has two eyes..

Alice : All of us have two eyes!

Queen : That’s it! We have enough evidence. She’s proven guilty! Off with her head!

(Card Painters take Alice to the sentence room)

(Alice shouts: “No! No! No!”) *lights off

(Alice wakes up and realized it was just a dream)