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2/23/2015 AllWriteFictionAdvice:April2013
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SA T URDA Y , 2 7 A PR I L 2 0 1 3
TeasingtheReaderPart2
Continuingthethemeofteasingthereader,welllookatacouplemoreofthoseelementswhichareatawritersdisposal.Thelasttwocommonessentialstolookatareforeshadowinganddialogue.
Foreshadowingisareallyeffectivetoolifusedcorrectly.Whileitisverysimilartotheinformationandrevelationhintsthatwevealreadytouchedupon,therearesubtledifferencesbetweenthetwoandtheyshouldbetreatedseparately.
Theactofforeshadowingisadeliberatepaththatthewritertakesinordertofulfillanintegralpartoftheplot.Itforeseeseventsthatwillhappen,ratherthanwhatmighthappen,whichswhatinformationhintsmightdo.Foreshadowingisusuallyinterpretedassomethingforebodingyettohappenwithinthestory.
Cleverforeshadowingisachievedbyusingmetaphorratherthantheobviousinfodumporbythiswillhappeninchapter30kindofthing.
Foreshowingcanberepresentedbyanything,aslongasthemetaphorworkswithinthenarrativeandisgenerallyunderstoodbyyourreader.Metaphorscanbespoiltbyovercomplication,sosimplicityworks.
Theexamplebelowusesaphysicalmetaphortoforeshadowanincidentthatwilltakeplacelaterinastory.
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Johnlookedupandnoticedtherollingcloudsinthedistance,heavingwithastrangekindofdread.Theybillowedforward,asthoughtosmother.Lightflashedthroughitsunderbellyastormofadifferentkindwasapproaching,onethathecouldntavoidorprevent.
Youcanseehowthemetaphoractsasasignposttothefutureevent:
Heavingwithastrangekindofdreadthissetsthetoneofthefutureevent.
Theybillowedforward,asthoughtosmotherthiscouldhintatthemanneroflikelyevents.
AstormofadifferentkindthisclearlytellsthereaderthatthingswillnotgowellforJohn.Somethingbadwillhappen.Thereaderwillhavetocontinuereadingtofindoutwhatthatitis.
Dialogue,ontheotherhand,isalsoaperfectwaytohintatthings.Characterslovetotalkaboutstufftheycanthelpthemselves,justaspeopledoinreallife.Andjustaspeoplegossipinreallifeawayofteasinginformationfromeachothercharacterswilloffercluesonfutureevents.
Youcanlurethereaderbyhavingyourcharactersdiscussthingsthatmightoccurfurtherintoastory.Thefollowingsimpleexampleusesdialoguebetweentwocharacterstoplantinformationhintsforthereadersothattheywillbecomeawareofeventsthatwilloccurfurtherintothestory.
Areyouclearonwhatyouneedtodo?Johnasked.
Danlookedathim.Yeah.Howlongagainbeforethesecuritygoesdown?
Eightminutes,Johnreplied.Thatsallwegot.Soyouneedtomakesureyoureinplacewhenitdoes,gotit?NoonewillhearanythingabovetheNewYearcelebrations.
Notaproblem.
Good,cosweonlygotthreemonthstoplanthisthing
Itisclearfromthedialoguebetweenthecharactersthatsomethingisintheoffing,andbecausetheyarediscussingit,theyarealsoallowingthereadertobe
measure.Iamprivilegedtohaveeightshortstories/poemspublishedinthisbook,soifyoulikeyourdamesalittledarkanddangerous,thisisthebookforyou.
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WISE WORDS . . .
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privytoit.Thereaderisanobserverinanystory.
Dialogueisntjusttheretoshowcharactersspeaking,either.Itservesmanypurposes,suchasmovingthestoryforwardorintroducingvitalinformation.And,ofcourse,teasingthereaderisjustoneofthewaysdialogueisimportant.
Howeveryoudoit,whatevermethodyouchoose,awritershoulddangleasmanycarrotsaspossiblewhenevertheopportunityarises.Theunforeseenwithinastoryisagreatluretothereader.
Curiosityservesagreatpurposeitishumannaturetowanttoknowaboutsomething.Thisneedtoknowbasisiswhatpropelsourinterestinanystory,andthewritersabilitytocontinuallyteasewill,hopefully,keepyourreaderhooked.
Nextweek:Waystoavoidwoodencharacters
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SA T URDA Y , 2 0 A PR I L 2 0 1 3
TeasingtheReaderPart1
Thegreatthingaboutwritingisthatishasavarietyoftoolsavailabletothewriterinordertorenderthebeststorypossible.
Weknowabouttherightkindofcharacterisation,therightbalanceofbasicelementssuchasdescription,narrativeanddialogue,theamountofemotionandpacetouse.Weknowaboutplotsandsubplots,atmosphereandtension,andwereawareofmorecomplicatedelementssuchassymbolism,metaphorandassonanceandsoon.
Buttheonethingthatreadersseemtothriveonisthewritersabilitytoteasethisisoneofthereasonswhytheykeepturningthepage.Readingastoryisbasedonaneedtoknowbasisthereaderconstantlyneedstoknow.
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Thedeliberateteasehasbeenusedbystorytellersforthousandsofyears.Itisdesignedtolurethereader,tokeepthemguessing,wrongfootthemdeliberately,oritallowsthemtomakecorrectorincorrectassumptions.
Theopportunitytoteasecanoccurthroughoutanovelandthereforeshouldntbeignoredbywriters,becausebyconstantlyandsubtlyteasingthemyoucanalsokeepthemreading.
Sometimestheseopportunitiesoccurnaturallyasthestoryprogresses,whileotherteasersarepreciselyplottedandplannedbywritersandthenstrategicallyplacedwithinthenarrative.
Thehookistheveryfirstchanceawriterhastograbthereadersattentionrightattheopeningofthestorysomethingthatholdstheirattentionandkeepsitsothattheykeepreading.Thiscanbeachievedbyhintingatthingstocomeinthefirstchapter,tolaycluesaboutwhatmighthappenintherestofthenovel.
Youreteasingthereaderfromtheoutset.
Howdoesteasingwork?
Thereisavarietyofwaysawritercanteasethereader.Themostcommonwaysareasfollows:
1.Informationhints2.Revelationhints3.Endofsceneorchaptercliffhanger4.Narrativeallusionandsuggestion5.Foreshadowing6.Dialogue
Informationhintsareselfexplanatory.Theideaisthatthewriterplantscluesforthereadertopickupon,solaterinthestorytheywill,literally,puttwoandtwotogetherandcometotheirownconclusion(whetherthey'rerightornot).
Thehintsdonthavetobeobvioustheycanbeassubtleasyouwantthemtobedontunderestimateyourreaderbecausetheywillbeastuteenoughtonoticethem.Andtheinformationyouarehintingatisandshouldberelevanttothestory/plotsomethingthatmightbereferencedtohappenfurtherinthenovel,ortheinformationisrelevanttosomethingthatmighthappenspecificallytoacharacteretc.
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Forinstance,yourmaincharacterisafraidofwater,soyoumightreferencethisacoupleoftimesearlierinthestoryaninformationhintthatthereaderwillnotice.Theywillthinkthatbecauseithasbeenmentionedafewtimes,somethingmusthappenfurtherintothestory.Thisisanindirect,gentletease.
Then,laterinthestory,severalcharactersareboatingonalake,butanaccidentoccursandthemaincharactermustjumpintoalaketosaveanothercharacter.Butsheisfrozenbytheirrationalfearofwaterthesamefearshintedatearlier.Canshejumpinandsavetheday?
Revelationhintsworkthesameway,butinsteadoflettingthereaderinonsnippetsofinformation,thewriterlayscluestoasurprisingrevelationorimportantdisclosurefurtherinthestoryaplottwistperhaps,whichmightwrongfootthereader.
Forexample,whatifyourmaincharacterbecomesattractedtoanothercharacterinthestoryitlooksasthoughhemightbefallingforher,andtheirrelationshiphotsup.Thissubplotwillteasethereaderaboutwhathappensnextwiththem.
Then,whenthereaderleastexpectsit,thewriterunveilsthebombshell:ittranspiresthatsheisoneofthebadguys,andtheherofindsthathehasbeentrappedbyherdeceitandfacesimminentdanger
Inotherwords,revelationsandplotleaksactasalureforthereadertocontinuereading.
Anendofsceneorchaptercliffhangerisoneoftheoldestploysforwriterstouse.Whenwrittencorrectly,itpracticallyguaranteesthereaderwillkeepreading.
Theideaissimpletheendofascene,andparticularlytheendofchaptersshouldhintatsomethingabouttohappen,orsomethinginevitableinthenextsceneorchapter,sothatthereaderhastoreadoninordertofindoutwhathappens.
Forinstance,inthefirstexampleofthecharacterafraidofwater,thewriteristeasingthereaderwithawhatifsituation.Whatifthecharacterdoesntjumpintothewater?Theothercharacterwilldrown.Butifshedidjump,shecouldsavetheothercharacter,andovercomeherfearofwater.
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Theendofthatscene,orchapter,wouldendonacliffhanger.Forexample:
Chriswatchedthelittlegirlstrugglinginthewater,headbarelyabletokeepabovethesurface,curdledcriesskimmingacrossthewater.
Adrenalineragedthroughherbodyheartbeatloudinherears.Legsspasmedwiththefearasthereflectionsdancedfromthewaterssurface,butallChriscouldthinkaboutwasthecolddarknessbeneath,theshadowsthatlurkedthere.
Shetookinabreath,madeadecision.
Thereaderisleftguessingwhatthatdecisionis.Theyhavetocontinuethestoryinordertofindout,sotheyhave.Ineffect,theyhavebeenteasedbythewriter.
Writersshouldaimtodothiswithmostoftheirchapterendings.Alwayskeepthereaderontheirtoes.
Narrativeallusionorsuggestionisaploywritersuseinordertotoywiththereader.Theydothisbyalludingtosomethingorplantingideastoswaythereadersmind,whichisdonethroughsubtlesuggestion.Theideaisthatthereaderwillreadanddigestthis,andtheywillunconsciouslyrememberit,untilatsuchtimeinthenovelthattheydiscovertheyvebeendupedbythewriter.
Ofcourse,knowthesebyanothername:redherrings.Theseareparticularlyprevalentincrimenovelsandthrillersandtheyworktogreateffect.
Theyaremoredifficulttoconstructbecauseoftheircomplexityinrelationtothestory,charactersandsubplots,andthereforetheyneedalotofthoughtandplanninginordertoinitiatethemandmakethemwork.
Theeasiestexampleofthisisthewritersdoublecross.Inacrimenovel,forinstance,thewritersetsupthecharactersandthestorylineinsuchawayastomakethereaderbelievethatoneparticularcharacteristhekiller.Thewriterplantsclues,alludestothecharactersguilt,evengoingasfarasusingthepowerofsuggestiontocementtheideainthereadersmind.
Thewriterdanglesacarrottoteasethereaderinthisway,untilsuchatimeasitsrevealedinaplottwistthatitwasinfactanothercharacterwhodidthecrimeand
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nottheonethereaderassumed.
Thereaderhasbeendoublecrossedbythewriterthroughawellwrittenandwellconstructedtease.
Ofcourse,thesenarrativeallusionsarenotconfinedtocrimeorthrillernovels.Incontext,theycanbeusedinmanygenrestoillicitthesameeffect.
Inthenextarticlewellcontinuethethemebylookingathowforeshadowinganddialoguecanteasethereader.
Nextweek:TeasingthereaderPart2
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SA T URDA Y , 1 3 A PR I L 2 0 1 3
BreathingLifeintoDescription
Descriptionisdescription,right?
Thatdependsonawritersperspectiveandhowmuchthewriterwantstoinvestinit.
Previousarticleshavelookedathowimportantdescriptionisinanystory,andwhyitsneeded,butwhatseparatesordinarydescriptionfromthekindthatleapsfromthepageandgetswritersnoticedbyeditorsandagents?
Theanswertothatdependshowawriterbreatheslifeintodescription.Withoutdoubt,descriptionisoneofthemostimportantaspectsrequiredinfictionwriting,andhowawriterhandlesitmakesallthedifferencetohowgoodthatdescriptionis.
Thethingwithdescriptionisthatsometimesitcanbeflatanuninspiring,notbecausesomethingisparticularlybadlywritten,butbecauseinsteadtheauthorhasntreallybotheredwithit.Thiscanmakereadingalaboriousaffair.
Andifitisboringandunexciting,thenthisisindicative
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oftellingratherthanshowing,whichisoneofthemostcommonattributestodreary,lacklustredescription.Intruth,weveallbeenguiltyofwritingflatdescriptionatsomepointoranother.
Aswegrowinconfidencewithourwriting,however,sotooshouldourabilitytovisualisethestoryforthereaderinacompletelyunique,expressiveandexcitingway.
Everywriterhasadistinctivewritingvoicethereforeeachwriterwillconveydescriptionquitedifferently,butitishowvisualandrichthatdescriptionisthatcouldnotonlyhelpawriterschancesofpublication,butalsohelptotransportthereaderrightintotheheartofthestory.
TellingversusShowing
Oneofthemainproblemswithdescriptionisthewaywritersdealwithexposition.Moreoftenthannottheytellratherthanshowthereader.Thisisfineforthelessimportantscenes,butwithkeyscenesthedramatic,emotionalandactiontypescenes,itsvitaltoshowthereader,toallowthemtosharethestoryandtheemotionsandreactionsratherthanjustreadaboutit.Descriptionforthesekeyscenesshouldbeanimatedenoughtostimulatethereader,ratherthanborethem.
Therearesomewriterswhostilldontunderstandtheconceptofshow,donttellandcontinuetowriteunexciting,simplisticdescription.Thatsfineiftheywanttowritethemundane.Butforwriterswhowanttosetthebarhigher,showingthereaderthroughevocative,visualdescriptionreapsitsownrewards.
Howisitdone?
Thereareseveralelementstothis.Thewriterneedstobeawareofandunderstandtheseelementscloselytocreatethekindofdescriptionthatbringsastorytolifethekindthatliftsitfromthepageandtransportsthereaderintothefictionalworld.
Description,andhowwritersconveyit,isaveryuniquethingwealldoitdifferently,butthatdoesntmeantheimportantelementsthatmakeupgooddescription
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shouldbeignored.
Thinkofitthiswayyourreadercannotsee,taste,touch,smellorhearanything.Asthewriter,youhavetodescribethingssothattheycansee,taste,touch,smellandheareverythinghappeninginyourstory.
Youneedtobeawareof:
SensorydetailsVisualdetailsEmotionaldetails
Sensorydetailsarewoefullyignoredbymanywriters,buttheycanplayamajorpartindescription.Thefivesensesofferadistinctiveinsightforthereader.Theymaynotbeabletophysicallysmellsomething,oractuallysee,touchortasteorhearanything,butbygivingthemrichlylayeredhints,theywillusetheirimaginationquiteeffectively.
Awritercanmakethereaderimaginethesmellsandthetastes,theywillvisualisedetails,theywillfeelthetouchofthebreeze,orahandontheskin,orthetextureofsomething,andtheywillhearthesoundsdescribed.
Forexample,thefollowingexcerptsaretakenfrommyshortstoryAStainontheHeart(2012,anthologyOneHour,publishedbyStaticMovement).
Abreezeprowledacrossthemuddyforest,lefttaintedbyamiserable,dolefuldownpour,andnowitsmelledstagnantbeneaththelingeringscentofburntwoodandflesh.
Prowled,miserable,doleful,stagnantandburntumberarethekeywordshere.Theyarekeywordsforagoodreason.Imaginethesentencewithoutthem.
Visualdetail,whileverysimilartothesenses,coversthewaythereaderperceivesthedescriptionofsettingandplaceandobjects,andhowthewriterhasvisualisedthenecessarydetailstomakethestorybelievable,forinstance:
AsasliverofdawnlightinkedacrosstheskyandreflectedfromthesnowcappedforestoftheArdennes,
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thedevastationslowlyemergedandsoakedFreddiesmindwithsoundsandimageshewouldratherforget.Thedulllightgrazedacrossthescene.Hesawupturnedmoundsofearth,fallentreesanddarkscarscarvedthroughsulliedsnow.Butitwasthefrosty,soullesslandscapelitteredwithhelmetsandboots,fragmentsofuniformsandbitsofmenthatmadehisstomachdroptohisfeet.
Oneotherthingthatdescriptiondoeswhichisquiteimportantistorelayemotion.Emotionandtheabilitytomoveyourreader,isadrivingforcewithinfiction.ThefollowingexcerptisfromVoices(2012anthology,LastNight,publishedbyStaticMovement).Thefirstexampleistellingthereader.
Whathadbeguntowardstheeveninghadcontinuedasthesunlightsankbehindthetrees,leavingsunlightgleamingbetweenthebranches,whichseemedlostwithintheconfinesofthecamp,andjustaslostontheconfusedandhungrypeoplethatfiledfromthecattletrains.
Hethoughtaboutthebodiesfromtheshowers,livesstolen,theireyeslifelessandhandsfrozen.
Thisisfairlyflatanduninspiring.Itdoesntsaymuchtothereaderanditcertainlydoesntdoanythingotherthantellthereader.Anditcertainlydoesntshowanything.Nowtheoriginalexcerpt,whichshowsthereader:
Whathadbeguninearnesttowardstheeveninghadcontinuedasthesunlightsankbehindthethicklineofpinesthatveiledthem,leavingbeautifulsaffrontintedrivuletsgleamingbetweenthebranches.Suchbeautyseemedlostwithinthecold,barrenconfinesofthecamp,andjustaslostonthedeathlygreyfacesthatfiledfromthecattletrainsconfused,hungryandriddledwithexhaustion.
Hethoughtaboutthefreshmoundsoffleshdraggedfromtheshowers,livesstolen,theireyeslifelessandyetbrimmingwithrivenreflectionsoftheirlastterriblemoments,theirhandsfrozenintognarledclaws.
Thisshowsratherthantells.Itusesvisualandsensorystimulus,itreferencescolourasametaphor,itstands
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outanditmakesthereaderthinkbecauseitfocusesontheemotionalimpact.Itcontainsmanyoftheelementsneededtomakedescriptioncomealive.
Descriptionisdescription,butitsnothingunlessawriterbreatheslifeintoit.
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ConstructingScenesPart2
Continuingourlookathowtoconstructkeyscenes,welltakealookatTransitionalscenesandFlashbackscenes,whicharequitecommoninfictionandveryusefulelementsforthewriter.
Writersusetransitionalscenestocrossaspecifictimespan,i.e.hours,days,monthsorevenyears,withouttheneedtodescribeeverythingindetail.Usuallytheyarenothingmorethanafewsentences,buttheytellthereaderthattimehaspassed,withoutthewriterhavingtoborethereaderbydescribingthedetailsofthetimespanwithlongwindedpassages.
Example:
Fourweekslater,Johndrovethecartothehighstreetandparkedupnearthebank,justasDanhadinstructed.Hewaited.
ItsaysconciselywhatthereaderneedstoknowfourweekshavepassedsinceDansconversationwithJohn(inPart1)andthenarrativehasmovedforwardtothedayoftherobbery.Twosentencescoverwhatmighthavetakenthewriterapageortwopagestodescribe.
Wellwrittentransitionalscenesshouldbeseamlessandunobtrusivesothatthereaderwillbarelynotice.
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Theyaredesignedtomoveforward(orbackward)withoutdisruptingtheflowofnarrative.
Flashbackscenes,asopposedtotransitionalscenes,areselfexplanatory.Theyjumpbacktoamomentinthecharacterspastinorderforthewritertoexplainthingsthatarehappeninginthepresent.
Theyformanintegralpartofanynovel,andalthoughnotacompulsoryrequirement,theyaredesiredifthewriterneedstoexplainspecificincidentsthathappenedtothemaincharacterinthepastthatmayaffecttheirbehaviourasthestoryunfoldsinthepresent.
Flashbacksalsohelppropelthestoryforward,despitetheparadoxofleapingbackward.
Example:
Heremembereditclearly,thememorystillfreshlikeanopenwound.Theoriginalfeelingsofeuphoriaandarrogancehadquicklyturnedtoangstthemomentthefaroffsoundofsirensbrokethroughthenight.Liketheothers,hedthoughthedgotawaywithit.Theyhadsplitthemoneyandgonetheirseparateways,thinkingthatwouldfoolthepolice,butithadnt,andpanicsetinatthethoughtofbeingcaught
Thesceneslipsunobtrusivelyintothepast,andusespluperfecttensetoshowthereaderthatithappenedinthepast,ratherthanthepresent.Thisisachievedbyusinghadinthenarrative.
NotethatIvenotincludedFlashforwards,simplybecausetheyfulfilthesamefunctionasflashbacks,however,unlesswritingscifi/fantasy,oratimetravelthemedstory,flashforwardsdonothaveaplaceinastory,sinceneitherthewriter,northecharacters,canpredictthefuture.
Now,ifwestitchsomeoftheexamplescenesshowninPart1togetherwiththeseexamplesinPart2,weshouldhavesomethingthatcontainsthemajorityofthosesceneelementstomakeanentirescene.
Dontexpectmetohelpyououtofthishole,Johnsaid.
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Justthisonce,Dansaid.IpromiseIwontaskagain.
Yeah,yousaidthatlasttime,remember?Imstillpaying.Icouldhavegotcaught.Iwasthatclose.
Butyoudidntgetcaught.Wegotawaywithit.
Theresonlysomanytimespeoplecangetawaywithit.Youreaskingtoomuchthistime,Johnsaid.Itsjusttoorisky.
Wegetagoodpayout,hesaid.Donttellmeyouaintinterestedinthat(Conversational)
Heremembereditclearly,thememorystillfreshlikeanopenwound.Theoriginalfeelingsofeuphoriaandarrogancehadquicklyturnedtoangstthemomentthefaroffsoundofsirensbrokethroughthenight.Liketheothers,hedthoughthedgotawaywithit.Theyhadsplitthemoneyandgonetheirseparateways,thinkingthatwouldfoolthepolice,butithadnt,andpanicsetinatthethoughtofbeingcaught(Flashback)
Fourweekslater,Johndrovethecartothehighstreetandparkedupnearthebank,justasDanhadinstructed.Hewaited.(Transitional)
Johnglancedintherearviewmirror,sawperspirationonhisbrow,thicklikehoney.Thenhepeeredaheadandcloselywatchedthedoorstothebank.Theenginehummed,waiting,thesoundalmostsoothingandsoporific,butithadfeltlongerthanfourminutessinceDanwentintothebankthatJohncontemplateddrivingoffwithouthim,anythingtogetoutofgrowingdangeroussituation.MinutestickedlikeanechoingclockinJohnsfrazzledmind(Descriptive)
Fromthesedifferenttypesofscenesitseasytoseehowtheyworktogethertocreateacohesivewholescene,whatweusuallytermakeysceneinthestory.
Notalloftheelementalsceneshavebeenused,ofcourse,butthisexamplemakesuseofconversational,flashback,transitionalanddescriptivescenes,andscenesworkbetterwhentherearemoreofthem.Writershavemanysceneelementsattheirdisposal,sotheycanuseanynumberofcombinedsceneswithinthestory,andofcourse,itsuptothestorytodictate
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