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Opinion Columns
Published: June 18, 2012 00:40 IST | Updated: June 25, 2012
16:25 IST
The Aamir Khan Column: In homes, a menace whose victims fear to
speak its name
Aamir Khan.
What kind of mindset makes us men believe that we have a right
to hit a woman?
If one section of society were to start beating up and
assaulting another section of society, the police would declare
itriot, the Rapid Action Force would be brought in, and the state
machinery would swing into action to takeappropriate steps to bring
an end to the violence and protect those who need help. Thereafter
the state might even se
up refugee camps, etc. to rehabilitate those affected. Well,
when we set out to do our research on domestic violence,this is
precisely what we found. One section of society was physically
beating up and assaulting another, there seeme
to be a civil war like situation out there, only there was no
Rapid Action Force to stop the violence. Two separatestudies, one
by Ministry of Health and Family Welfare, and another by the
Planning Commission, showed thatanywhere between 40 per cent-80 per
cent of women in India are victims of domestic violence. Let's take
aconservative middle figure of say 50 per cent. That's a huge
percentage of women! And I'm afraid these figures don'tspeak very
well of us men.
What kind of thinking makes us behave this badly? What kind of
mindset makes us men believe that we have a rightto hit a woman?
And why do so many women accept this beating for years on end? Once
again, it's good oldpatriarchy at work. It is alarming to discover
how many different problems arise out of this strange animal
calledpatriarchal thinking'. In our two-year research work on the
issues we chose for Satyamev Jayate, this is one factorthat has
repeatedly come up as the villain of the piece. And, as Kamla
Bhasin, our expert on this particular issue,pointed out, women are
as much a part of this thinking, products of the same society as
they are.
Patriarchal thinking men are superior to women! men are the
bosses! they will decide what is good for theirwomen men will
control womens lives as they please and as they deem fit! And so we
have female foeticide, femaleinfanticide, the girl child is not fed
properly, her health is not a priority, she is not sent to school,
or less importance placed on her education, instead she is taught
to do housework. And while all this is happening, she is often
beaten!This thinking also results in child marriages, dowry,
discrimination against widows, and of course unequal share
inproperty, that is, if there's any share at all. Leave alone
empowering our women, we are specifically disempoweringthem and
have been doing so for millennia.
Let us examine some of the excuses that men put forth for
assaulting the women folk in their family:
I am very short tempered; theres a lot of stress and problems in
my life so it comes out like this. So how come you
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2/12 The Hindu : Opinion / Columns : The Aamir Khan Column: In
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dont hit your boss? Why only your wife? Well you don't hit your
boss because if you do, your boss will takeappropriate action
against you. Are the women listening?
I get violent with my wife because I love her so much; my love
for her comes out in this passionate and violent wayits because I
care for and love my wife. Well in that case, there should be an
equal amount of beating coming fromthe women folk.
My wife asked for it. Well she also asked for a diamond
necklace, and guess what you are asking for?
There really does seem to be a civil war out there. Brothers
hitting sisters, fathers hitting daughters, husbands hittinwives
and in some cases, even sons hitting mothers. Our experts have
explained how once domestic violence starts it
gets worse with every encounter and never stops until the victim
stops it! The woman has to say NO!
India has a fairly strong Domestic Violence Act and it is
important for all women to be familiar with what the lawsays. The
Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act specifically states
that the woman has the right to residein what is called the shared
household. Often a common fear among women is of being thrown out
of home. This Act
protects EVERY woman in this matter. No woman wife, mother,
daughter or sister can be thrown out of thehouse, even if the
property is not in her name and is owned by some other member of
the family. The Act also statesthat every State needs to create
shelter homes for women who prefer not to stay in the shared
household. And, thatthe State Government needs to provide any woman
fighting for these rights with a protection officer who acts as
aliaison or bridge between her and the courts. So, a woman does not
need to spend money on legal fees in order to avaof her rights
under this act.
Historically, as men have been a part of this problem, it is
high time we men become a part of the solution. Men have
to be proactive in putting an end to this illness in society.
And, look at it this way: do you want to be a man who isfeared and
hated by your wife or other female members of your home? Or do you
want to be loved, adored andrespected? Do you want your children to
run away from you or run towards you when you get home? Do you want
to
be a home maker or a home breaker?
By the way, what is the opposite of patriarchal thinking?
Jai Hind. Satyamev Jayate.
(Aamir Khan is an actor. His column will be published in The
Hindu every Monday.)
Keywords:violence against women, domestic violence, Patriarchal
thinking, gender equality, female foeticide, dowrysystem, Domestic
Violence Act
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