An Introduction to NLP

Richard Butler NLP Practitioner

What is NLP?• Neuro• Linguistic • Programming

Why is NLP Useful?• Can help you:– Build Rapport with people quickly– Understand how people communicate– Allow you to gain skills quicker by modelling

Some “CornerStones” of NLP• Focus on Outcomes– What do you want to achieve?

• Sensory Acuity– How much do you notice? (Exercise)

• Flexibility of Behaviour– More flexible the more choices

• Rapport– Building rapport and get what you desire

Presuppositions of NLP• The Map is not the territory• You can not not communicate• If one person can do something so can you• The meaning of your communication is the

response you receive• People make the best choice available• You can not not choose• There is no failure only feedback

What is Rapport?• Liking someone, not knowing why• I like you• I am like you• Rapport is something natural but you can learn

how to build it quickly• How can this help?

How do people communicate?• People process and relate information in a

number of ways:– Visual– Aural– Kinaesthetically

• How can you find how people process information?

• Listen to them• This is known as your Representational system

Why find out a person's Rep System?• Allows you to talk their language• If someone needs to get the project across the

line, you should not respond back and say you've grasped what needs to be done

• If someone needs to see results tomorrow, tell them that what they want is clear

• If someone wants to tune into the thinking of the customer you have to make sure you hear what they are saying.

Listening is so important• Listen to the words people use• Discover if there's a pattern• Speak to the person in their language

Listen even more• Is the person someone who likes “general”

conversation• Is the person who likes to know specifics?• Very important

Matching and Mirroring• Match the persons body language• If they lean forward you lean forward• If they have arms crossed you cross your arms• Be careful!

Leading and Pacing• Once in rapport you can lead the person where

you want them to go – they will follow your body language

• Pacing – using voice tonality to lead someone – Example if someone is annoyed don't be nicey

nicey, perhaps speed up your voice, raise it a little, then begin to pace it down and lead them to a calmer state

Listen carefully• Some people like specific some like general• Listen to how they describe things• What people say reveals a lot

Be careful of• Generalisation:– All, every

• Mind reading– The bane of any relationship

Sorting out problems• Chunk up – Move from a specific to a general – Move from a general to a specific– Good for breaking down problems and helping to

solve them

MisMatching• If you wish to break rapport mismatch• If person is sitting upright you lean forward• Do the opposite to them!