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Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence NOW Conference 2019

and Emotional Intelligence Practices for Mindful Communication · 2019-12-19 · Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence Aaron Culich [email protected] Aaron

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Page 1: and Emotional Intelligence Practices for Mindful Communication · 2019-12-19 · Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence Aaron Culich aculich@berkeley.edu Aaron

Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence

NOW Conference 2019

Page 2: and Emotional Intelligence Practices for Mindful Communication · 2019-12-19 · Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence Aaron Culich aculich@berkeley.edu Aaron

Practices for Mindful Communicationand Emotional Intelligence

Aaron Culich

[email protected]

Aaron Culich is a Research Data & Computing Architect with the Data-Intensive Social Sciences Laboratory (D-Lab) at UC Berkeley. He is also a Teacher-in-Training with the Search Inside Yourself Leadership Institute (SIYLI).

Page 3: and Emotional Intelligence Practices for Mindful Communication · 2019-12-19 · Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence Aaron Culich aculich@berkeley.edu Aaron

Search Inside YourselfMindfulness-Based Emotional Intelligence for Leaders

Page 4: and Emotional Intelligence Practices for Mindful Communication · 2019-12-19 · Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence Aaron Culich aculich@berkeley.edu Aaron

What do you love about your work?

What are some of your biggest challenges?

In Pairs

Page 5: and Emotional Intelligence Practices for Mindful Communication · 2019-12-19 · Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence Aaron Culich aculich@berkeley.edu Aaron
Page 6: and Emotional Intelligence Practices for Mindful Communication · 2019-12-19 · Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence Aaron Culich aculich@berkeley.edu Aaron

SearchInsideYourself

EmotionalIntelligence

Neuroscience

Mindfulness

+

+

+

=

Page 7: and Emotional Intelligence Practices for Mindful Communication · 2019-12-19 · Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence Aaron Culich aculich@berkeley.edu Aaron

• Self-Awareness

• Self-Management

• Motivation

• Empathy

• Social Skills

Page 8: and Emotional Intelligence Practices for Mindful Communication · 2019-12-19 · Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence Aaron Culich aculich@berkeley.edu Aaron
Page 9: and Emotional Intelligence Practices for Mindful Communication · 2019-12-19 · Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence Aaron Culich aculich@berkeley.edu Aaron

VolatileUncertainComplexAmbiguous

Page 10: and Emotional Intelligence Practices for Mindful Communication · 2019-12-19 · Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence Aaron Culich aculich@berkeley.edu Aaron

47% Average time spentMind-wandering

70% Leaders report regularly unable to be attentive in meetings

02% Regularly make time to enhance personal productivity

Killingsworth, 2010; Mindful Leadership Institute, 2010

Page 11: and Emotional Intelligence Practices for Mindful Communication · 2019-12-19 · Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence Aaron Culich aculich@berkeley.edu Aaron

“Autopilot”Result =

Page 12: and Emotional Intelligence Practices for Mindful Communication · 2019-12-19 · Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence Aaron Culich aculich@berkeley.edu Aaron

Autopilot Traits

• Attention is in the past or future

• Distracted

• Reactive or judgmental

• Act based on habit patterns and assumptions

Page 13: and Emotional Intelligence Practices for Mindful Communication · 2019-12-19 · Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence Aaron Culich aculich@berkeley.edu Aaron

Viktor Frankl’s teachings, summarized by Steven Covey.

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

Page 14: and Emotional Intelligence Practices for Mindful Communication · 2019-12-19 · Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence Aaron Culich aculich@berkeley.edu Aaron

How to get off Autopilot?

Page 15: and Emotional Intelligence Practices for Mindful Communication · 2019-12-19 · Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence Aaron Culich aculich@berkeley.edu Aaron

Mindfulness

Page 16: and Emotional Intelligence Practices for Mindful Communication · 2019-12-19 · Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence Aaron Culich aculich@berkeley.edu Aaron

Mindfulness

“being present”

Page 17: and Emotional Intelligence Practices for Mindful Communication · 2019-12-19 · Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence Aaron Culich aculich@berkeley.edu Aaron

Autopilot

Aware

Page 18: and Emotional Intelligence Practices for Mindful Communication · 2019-12-19 · Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence Aaron Culich aculich@berkeley.edu Aaron

Self-Awareness

Page 19: and Emotional Intelligence Practices for Mindful Communication · 2019-12-19 · Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence Aaron Culich aculich@berkeley.edu Aaron
Page 20: and Emotional Intelligence Practices for Mindful Communication · 2019-12-19 · Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence Aaron Culich aculich@berkeley.edu Aaron
Page 21: and Emotional Intelligence Practices for Mindful Communication · 2019-12-19 · Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence Aaron Culich aculich@berkeley.edu Aaron

1. Attention to breath

2. Relax body

3. Ask: What’s important now?

Micropractice

Three Breaths

Page 22: and Emotional Intelligence Practices for Mindful Communication · 2019-12-19 · Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence Aaron Culich aculich@berkeley.edu Aaron

Practices - Mindfulness

1 Three Breaths

Page 23: and Emotional Intelligence Practices for Mindful Communication · 2019-12-19 · Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence Aaron Culich aculich@berkeley.edu Aaron

Mindfulness Research Publications(PubMed)

Page 24: and Emotional Intelligence Practices for Mindful Communication · 2019-12-19 · Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence Aaron Culich aculich@berkeley.edu Aaron

Neuroplasticity:Changes in Attention and Mind-Wandering

Brewer et al., 2011, image from Ricard et al. 2014

Default Mode Network (DMN)• Related to mind-wandering

and self-referential thinking.• Less active during meditation.• Meditation practice → greater

connectivity with attention management regions, even at when rest.

Page 25: and Emotional Intelligence Practices for Mindful Communication · 2019-12-19 · Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence Aaron Culich aculich@berkeley.edu Aaron

In the moment “Integrated”

At the gym“Dedicated”

Page 26: and Emotional Intelligence Practices for Mindful Communication · 2019-12-19 · Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence Aaron Culich aculich@berkeley.edu Aaron

Distraction

NoticeDistraction

Reorientationof Attention

FocusedAttentionProcess

FollowBreath

Page 27: and Emotional Intelligence Practices for Mindful Communication · 2019-12-19 · Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence Aaron Culich aculich@berkeley.edu Aaron

Mindful Breathing

Page 28: and Emotional Intelligence Practices for Mindful Communication · 2019-12-19 · Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence Aaron Culich aculich@berkeley.edu Aaron

Comments

Page 29: and Emotional Intelligence Practices for Mindful Communication · 2019-12-19 · Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence Aaron Culich aculich@berkeley.edu Aaron

• We need skills for a VUCA world

• Mindfulness is the movement from Autopilot ➤ Aware

Summary

Page 30: and Emotional Intelligence Practices for Mindful Communication · 2019-12-19 · Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence Aaron Culich aculich@berkeley.edu Aaron

Empathy

Page 32: and Emotional Intelligence Practices for Mindful Communication · 2019-12-19 · Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence Aaron Culich aculich@berkeley.edu Aaron

What GoogleLearned FromIts Quest to Build ThePerfect Team.

Page 33: and Emotional Intelligence Practices for Mindful Communication · 2019-12-19 · Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence Aaron Culich aculich@berkeley.edu Aaron

Autopilot Traits

• Attention is in the past or future

• Distracted

• Reactive or judgmental

• Act based on habit patterns and assumptions

Page 34: and Emotional Intelligence Practices for Mindful Communication · 2019-12-19 · Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence Aaron Culich aculich@berkeley.edu Aaron

Movement from Autopilot ➤ Aware

Mindfulness:

Empathy:

Awareness ofothers

Page 35: and Emotional Intelligence Practices for Mindful Communication · 2019-12-19 · Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence Aaron Culich aculich@berkeley.edu Aaron

Listening

Page 36: and Emotional Intelligence Practices for Mindful Communication · 2019-12-19 · Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence Aaron Culich aculich@berkeley.edu Aaron

• What’s surprising to me lately in my life is…

• The kind of person I want to be is…

• OR … anything else

• A talks and B listens (bell)

Page 37: and Emotional Intelligence Practices for Mindful Communication · 2019-12-19 · Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence Aaron Culich aculich@berkeley.edu Aaron

UN-Mindful Listening

Page 38: and Emotional Intelligence Practices for Mindful Communication · 2019-12-19 · Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence Aaron Culich aculich@berkeley.edu Aaron

1. Settle the mind

2. See a similarity

3. Offer kindness

Micropractice

Shift to Connection

Page 39: and Emotional Intelligence Practices for Mindful Communication · 2019-12-19 · Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence Aaron Culich aculich@berkeley.edu Aaron

Mindful Listening

Page 40: and Emotional Intelligence Practices for Mindful Communication · 2019-12-19 · Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence Aaron Culich aculich@berkeley.edu Aaron

• What’s surprising to me lately in my life is…

• The kind of person I want to be is…

• OR … anything else

• A talks and B listens (bell)

• Switch roles

• Free-flow conversation

Page 41: and Emotional Intelligence Practices for Mindful Communication · 2019-12-19 · Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence Aaron Culich aculich@berkeley.edu Aaron

Comments

Page 42: and Emotional Intelligence Practices for Mindful Communication · 2019-12-19 · Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence Aaron Culich aculich@berkeley.edu Aaron

Remember how it feels to connect with others

Page 43: and Emotional Intelligence Practices for Mindful Communication · 2019-12-19 · Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence Aaron Culich aculich@berkeley.edu Aaron

Autopilot

Aware

Connected

Page 44: and Emotional Intelligence Practices for Mindful Communication · 2019-12-19 · Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence Aaron Culich aculich@berkeley.edu Aaron

Practices

Three Breaths Practice 1

Mindful Breathing 2

Mindful Listening 3

Shift to Connection 4

Page 45: and Emotional Intelligence Practices for Mindful Communication · 2019-12-19 · Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence Aaron Culich aculich@berkeley.edu Aaron

• We need skills for a VUCA world

• Mindfulness is the movement from Autopilot ➤ Aware

• Awareness of others creates connection & empathy

• Find ways to practice, both dedicated and integrated

Summary

Page 46: and Emotional Intelligence Practices for Mindful Communication · 2019-12-19 · Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence Aaron Culich aculich@berkeley.edu Aaron

Next Steps

Page 47: and Emotional Intelligence Practices for Mindful Communication · 2019-12-19 · Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence Aaron Culich aculich@berkeley.edu Aaron
Page 48: and Emotional Intelligence Practices for Mindful Communication · 2019-12-19 · Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence Aaron Culich aculich@berkeley.edu Aaron

Thank you!

• Check your phone for a push notification shortly

• Scan the QR Code at right, or

• Visit https://bit.ly/2PYnANd

Practices for Mindful Communicationand Emotional Intelligence

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