ANGER CONTROL IN ISLAM Written by Farid Ahmed

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Table of Contents Meaning of some Abbreviations: ........................................................................................................... 2

Part One: Anger; some facts ................................................................................................................. 3

What is anger? ................................................................................................................................................. 3

How do we know we are angry? ..................................................................................................................... 3

What is the likely result of anger? ................................................................................................................... 3

Who loves an angry person? ........................................................................................................................... 4

How anger spoils our Faith [Imaan]? ............................................................................................................... 4

What is Islamic teaching on anger? ................................................................................................................. 6

Part Two: Some basics about anger control .......................................................................................... 6

What is anger control? .................................................................................................................................... 6

Do I need to control my anger? ....................................................................................................................... 7

How can we control our anger? ...................................................................................................................... 9

Part Three: Anger, Satan and negative traits ...................................................................................... 11

Satan pushes anger button in human ........................................................................................................... 11

Satan was a victim of his own anger: ............................................................................................................ 12

How to drive Satan away when angry? ......................................................................................................... 13

Anger from negative traits; welcomes Satan ................................................................................................ 14

Control negative traits and control anger: .................................................................................................... 15

Satan can’t push anger button if we follow positive traits ........................................................................... 16

Part Four: Mind power in anger control ............................................................................................. 17

Mind power and anger control: .................................................................................................................... 18

Mind power: A real hero can control anger .................................................................................................. 18

Mind power: Anger control with wisdom: .................................................................................................... 19

Mind power: Anger control by diverting mind. ............................................................................................. 20

Mind power: Divine teaching about mind diversion. .................................................................................... 21

Mind power: Control your anger to control other’s anger. .......................................................................... 22

Mind power: Calculate the benefit of anger control. .................................................................................... 23

Part Five: Using understanding in anger control ................................................................................ 24

Understanding: Better understanding, better anger control ........................................................................ 24

Understanding: own pain and other’s pain to control anger ........................................................................ 25

Understanding: Be aware of your own anger. ............................................................................................. 27

Understanding: Use your reasoning to control anger ................................................................................... 27

Part Six: Anger control in sickness ..................................................................................................... 30

Sickness and anger: ....................................................................................................................................... 30

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Sickness is blessing; why should we feel angry? ........................................................................................... 30

Medicine for anger in sickness ...................................................................................................................... 32

Is anger itself a sickness? ............................................................................................................................... 33

How homeopathy treats anger problem? ..................................................................................................... 33

Part Seven: Perfect example in anger control ..................................................................................... 35

Holy Prophet: A heart did not boil with anger .............................................................................................. 35

Holy Prophet: Example of non-angry, non-violent persona .......................................................................... 35

Holy Prophet: Anger with control ................................................................................................................. 37

Holy Prophet: Nature of his anger from above Hadis ................................................................................... 37

Part Eight: Islam calls for anger control ............................................................................................. 39

Anger control or anger elimination? ............................................................................................................. 39

Islam and anger control: The best recipe ...................................................................................................... 40

Meaning of some Abbreviations: Allah (S.W.T) Subhanahu Wa Ta’aalaa He is the Perfect and the Very High Muhammad (S.A.W) Sallallahu A’laihi Wassalam May Allah’s peace and mercy be upon him (R.A) Radiallahu A’nhu May Allah be pleased with him (R.A) Radiallahu A’nha May Allah be pleased with her (Rah. A) Rahmatullahi A’laihi May Allah’s mercy be upon him

InshaAllah If Allah wills it

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Part One: Anger; some facts

What is anger? Anger is a natural emotion every human experiences. It is a feeling of great displeasure or antagonism as the result of some real or supposed grievance. Anger is a common term we use for strong displeasure but there are various terms also used for different degrees of displeasures. Such as:

Rage: Fury implies intense, explosive, often destructive emotion. Wrath: Applies especially to anger that seeks vengeance or punishment. Resentment: Refers to anger generated by a sense of grievance. Indignation: Is righteous anger at something wrongful, unjust, or evil.

[The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language] So anger can be felt in the range from mild form to full blown depending on our perception and the reality.

How do we know we are angry? Anger is a strong emotional feeling. We know when we have that strong feeling. Anger comes with few symptoms, such as:

When we feel the heat inside us When the spark of fire spreads all over our mind and body When that feeling makes our voice louder When that feeling makes our language hostile When that feeling makes our facial expression tougher It may make our body shake It may make us speechless When that feeling increases our heart rate or blood pressure When that strong feeling ceases our rational thinking When that feeling makes us think and act fast It may cause us to attack on others and so on. If we experience symptoms like above, we know that we are angry. We know that we have to avoid those symptoms to be able to control our anger.

What is the likely result of anger? The results of all anger are not bad. It has some benefit as long as we use it according to the divine guidance. We shall discuss the benefits of anger in this book in a later chapter. But in general, anger in various degrees doesn’t bring benefit. It brings unpleasant results in the short term or long term. Let me describe some of the likely bad results of uncontrolled or unguided anger:

Regular episodes of anger make people ill and they suffer from various kinds of diseases. It can also aggravate sickness. Anger may cause sleeplessness because the angry feeling goes on and on in the angry person’s mind.

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Anger may make us think in a hurry and say or do things that are very wrong and regret later. Sometimes it follows with regret that can last for whole life. Sometimes we can fix the problem and sometimes we can’t fix it at all.

Anger burns good things like fire does. Anger burns the loving relationship, the friendship, the respect and trust. It even burns the good deeds. With one bad snap, the hard work of your whole life may be ruined.

Anger doesn’t bring peace, harmony or happiness in a person and around the person. An angry person is like a fire furnace boiling inside with no peace; it radiates the heat to those around him causing them to be unhappy as well.

With anger we may suppress others but we can’t win their hearts. Rather it hurts other’s feelings and pushes them away from us.

Who loves an angry person? I don’t know anyone who says that he or she loves an angry, bitter person. Usually no one wants to hang around a peevish person. Some examples are like: An angry husband: An angry husband is a nightmare for a wife. He may provide food, expensive diamonds, beautiful clothes etc but if he is like an angry dragon throwing fire at his wife, will she like her husband? Do you think she will be a happy wife? Do you think she will feel secure with him? Do you think that she won’t pass sleepless nights anticipating for something bad to happen from her angry husband? An angry father: Children are terrified from an angry father. They may love their father but they might hate him too. The same goes with an angry mother. If she beats her children often out of anger, then children don’t feel loved. They feel scared and abused. Some children hold hatred and aversion towards their angry parents for their entire life. An angry boss: That boss may pay lavishly but snaps all the time. If the boss is lovely, jubilant in one minute but angry and abusive in next minute, would you prefer to work for that boss? I don’t think so. What do you think? An angry friend: Even when children play with one another, they observe each other’s temper. If one shows temper then other children don’t want to play with that child any more. Friendship melts like ice if there is an anger problem. An angry ruler: An angry ruler ruins everything during his/her term. Even loyal people get fed up with the angry ruler and one day they withdraw their support. Many empires have suffered loss just because of the angry, hot headed rulers ruled them. In opposition to an angry person, what about a cool, calm and pleasant person? Do you like a pleasant person? Off course you do. Then don’t you want to be liked by others? I know you want that too. So what is the secret to be liked by others? The answer is “Don’t be an angry person.”

How anger spoils our Faith [Imaan]? Anger without control causes physical, emotional and mental harm. We discussed that above. Here, we are taking the harm of anger one step further and that is spiritual harm from anger. Anger spoils our spiritual gains as well. How do we know that? Let us find it from divine knowledge, from a Hadis below:

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How anger spoils the Imaan? What is Imaan anyway? Imaan is the belief and action (according to belief). In Imaan we believe that Allah alone deserves our worship and we have to worship Him with our mind, emotion, body, speech and actions etc. Imaan is also to believe that Muhammad (S.A.W) is our spiritual teacher and we must follow his teaching if we want to worship Allah truly. Now let us come back to the question; how does anger spoil our faith? Anger actually prevents us from actions that Allah wants from us. As a result we lose rewards of our good deeds, and we lose benefits in the short and long term. With that we put our everlasting happiness in paradise into risk like Sabeer spoils the sweet taste of honey. I think we need few examples about how anger spoils our faith. They are as follows: Anger spoils our concentration in prayer: When we are angry we can’t concentrate on prayer very well. The angry feeling goes on and on in our mind like a non-stop train. So we lose that focus in prayer and we lose the reward as well. How much do we lose? We lose the success, because Allah (S.W.T) made the condition for ultimate success for a believer is “Concentration in prayers.”

So anger spoils our everlasting success that we want dearly according to our Faith.

Anger spoils our best speaking manner: We can’t speak nice when we are very angry, can we? Anger usually makes our talk cynical, sarcastic and hostile. Angry talk brings disharmony, destroys friendship, causes fight and takes away peace. Whereas part of our faith is that we must speak nicely with others. It is Allah’s orders on us. What happens if we do not follow Allah’s orders? We may lose our paradise unless Allah forgives us. Allah commands Muslims to talk nice, not to talk angrily with others.

So anger spoils our obedience to Allah in the area of best speaking.

Anger spoils the spirit of Muslim unity: Maintaining Muslim unity is also another order from Allah on Muslims. This unity erodes when we exercise anger instead of wisdom and patience among one another. Does angry outbursts, sentimental dealings, or emotional impulsiveness bring any unity? Not at all.

So anger spoils Muslim unity as well as it takes away Allah’s mercy.

Hazrat Bahj Ibn Hakeem (Rah.A) narrated through his father that, Holy Prophet (S.A.W) said: Anger spoils the Imaan (Faith) as Sabeer (one kind of bitter fruit) spoils the (taste of) honey.”

Allah says in Holy Quran: 23.1-2 Successful are those believers who concentrate in their prayers.

Allah says in Holy Quran: 17.53 And say to My servants that they (Only) say those words that are best: Verily Satan brings disharmony between them

Allah says in Holy Quran: 49.10 The believers are a single brotherhood. So make reconciliation (Offering peace and agreement) between your two brothers: and fear Allah, that you may receive (His) mercy.

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What is Islamic teaching on anger?

Islamic teaching is very simple. It calls for “anger control.” Islam also teaches the characteristics of true believers and informs about the results of those righteous characters. Islam prepares its followers to be best in terms of mind, emotion and physical actions to achieve the everlasting happiness in Paradise. Allah (S.W.T) calls the entire mankind to be part of ultimate success and He mentions “Anger control” is one of the piece of that successful journey.

Allah’s Holy Messenger also taught mankind to control anger.

So in brief, the Islamic teaching on anger is:

1. To control our anger 2. To not be an angry natured person 3. Be a calm, cool, pleasant and peaceful person 4. So that we can enjoy peace and happiness inside us and we can radiate that peace and

happiness towards others around us. The result of it would create a peaceful environment, a loving relationship, a strong bond between family members, neighbors, friends and societies.

5. For frustration, dissatisfaction Islam teaches us to be forgiving, to let go and to move on through the peaceful path etc.

Part Two: Some basics about anger control

What is anger control? Our question is what is anger control? Anger control means guiding the anger properly. An example will explain it better. Let’s say fire control. How do we control fire? Fire control is like anger control. Let us go through a few points to understand what is fire control and anger control:

1. We do not abandon the fire because we need it for good uses. Similarly, we do not abandon our anger because we need it for good uses.

2. We handle fire carefully to avoid any harm from it. Similarly, we need to be very careful with our anger to make sure it doesn’t bring any harm to us.

Allah says in Holy Quran: 3: 133-134 Be quick in the race for forgiveness from your Lord, and for a Garden whose width is that (of the whole) heavens and of the earth, prepared for the righteous and those firm in their faith. Those who spend (freely in the cause of Allah), whether there is plenty, or there is little; who controls anger and pardon (all) man: Verily Allah loves those who do good.

Hazrat Abu Huraira (R.A) narrated that a person came to holy prophet (S.A.W) and asked, “O messenger of Allah! Please advise me.” Holy messenger said to him: “Don’t be angry”. The man asked for advice few times and holy prophet gave him the same advice “Don’t be angry”. [Sahih Bhukhari]

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3. We learn how to use fire better. Parents will never allow a child to use fire without knowledge. Parents make sure they teach their kids how to use fire properly. Similarly, we need to learn about our own anger to handle it properly. And we should teach our children how to control their anger.

4. We must be aware about the destructiveness of fire if it is not under control. It may burn human, houses, furniture and so on. Similarly, we must be aware about the devastating effects of anger if it is not under control.

5. For the control of fire we use some protective guards. For example, a stove has guards so fire can’t come out. It is a safety procedure we always follow. Similarly, for anger control we need guards in us. For example, patience is a guard. Patience makes us delay our actions from anger. Other good moral qualities that act as guards like: Wisdom, knowledge, self evaluation etc.

6. In case fire breaks out, we quickly pour water on it or we spray gas to put the fire out. Similarly, for anger control we need effective staff to apply on it to calm the anger down. For example, Islamic supplications, ablution, time out etc.

7. After one fire incident, we analyze the wrong to make sure it never happens again in future. For anger control, we need to do the same analysis and take steps to avoid it in future.

What do we find from above points about anger control? We find; anger control is to guide our anger in a way that removes harm from it and brings only benefit from it. Islam teaches us how to use our emotions in a positive direction which will bring for us benefit in this world and in the world hereafter. Allah (S.W.T) loves those who control their anger for their own good.

Do I need to control my anger? Most of us will ask this question. Why? The reason is that most of us think we have no anger problem or we are cool. Some people will be angry if you advise them, “Listen brother! I think you should control your anger.” Why some feel angry if they are labeled as “Angry” person? The main reasons are (1) they feel being known as “angry” is not a good image, (2) they do not see their own self very well and (3) they do not take constructive criticism lightly and so on. These feelings are barriers to anger control, one has to be open and willing to check up own emotional plane, and then can find ways to control anger effectively. Let me come back to the main question again, do I need to control my anger? How do I know I am not handling my anger properly? People know me as a cool person; do I still need to control my anger? We can ask many questions about it. Along with the answer, we need to be aware about how differently we cope with our anger. We cope with our anger in many ways. Some of those are as follows:

1. We bring our anger out violently: Sometimes we can’t hold our anger inside. It comes out in a violent way. We may see our anger expression in various forms of violence such as:

Feeling of anger frequently Feeling overwhelm with anger Feeling touchy and react to every little thing Quick to curse or scold due to anger

Al-Quran 3.134 “Who controls anger and pardon (all) man: Verily Allah loves those who do good.”

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Beating the child or wife Getting into arguments often Children get into fights at school Throws things when angry Fight with others often Self harm like cut or mutilate himself/herself due to anger etc.

Now let us ask the same question again. Do I need to control my anger if I show all symptoms or some symptoms above? The answer is obvious, “Yes,” we do. These anger symptoms affect us as well as others and bring lots of harms, damage peace, breaks relationships, oppress weaker people, cost peace and happiness and wastes time and wealth. 2. We suppress our anger: Sometimes we feel very angry inside but we don’t bring it out. Inside

we feel that we should do all the above or some of the above like cursing, beating, fighting, arguing or self mutilating and so on but we don’t do it for different reasons. This is called suppression. People suppress their anger for many reasons. Such as:

They fear the authority: A child may fear the punishment or a citizen may fear the imprisonment or prosecution. In the work environment, a lot of employees feel angry about the mistreatment they receive from their employers but they are scared of expressing it because it might cost them their jobs. A Lot of people are in a helpless situation where they feel wronged, yet they can’t open their mouths. People in these situations suppress their anger because they are afraid of losing something.

They fear their own anger: For some people, if they feel angry they become mad and then they don’t know what they are doing. So they suppress it as much as they can. A mother said in the consultation that she was beating and beating her child until she got scared that she might kill her child. Since then she tries to suppress her anger from the fear that she might do something wrong and will regret for the rest of her life.

They follow some rules: They may be member of some social group where they learn to suppress their anger. They are taught to maintain themselves to keep calm and composed to promote the organization. Or a salesman in business has to keep smiling for the sake of business even though he is feeling angry inside. He has to suppress his anger because he can’t afford to lose his customer.

Let us ask once again, do I need to control my suppressed anger? One may think, “Why should I? I am not harming anyone else, I am keeping it in myself, is not it a control?” The answer is, suppressing anger is one part of control but not full control. Why? Let me give a few examples:

Fire under cover: What happens if we put the fire under cover? Fire is still burning inside and because the fire can’t come outside; can we call it an effective fire control? We can’t because (1) Maybe the fire can’t burn something outside but it is burning something inside. Some people suppress their anger and then after a while they develop high blood pressure, uterine cramp or urine infection and so on. Islamic anger control is about controlling both suppressed anger and violent anger.

Fire may pop out: Maybe not in all cases, but a lot of cases if there is suppressed anger, it may explode if favorable situation arises. Often that kind of anger explosion may bring severe damage. Sometimes people suppress and suppress and at some stage can’t suppress it any more and commit something horrendous.

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Yes, we need to control our suppressed anger as well. When we talk about Islamic anger control, we do not only talk about holding our anger inside. Rather we talk about the whole range of radical changes in our mind, in our emotional feelings, in our attitudes, in our gestures, in our beliefs and in our expressions and so on. It is a complete package based on the divine teachings which changes our perception from non beneficial to beneficial, to see the whole world differently and to react to the world differently. It is a complete self change according to Godly instructions. We can see it from an example in Quranic verse, where Allah (S.W.T) has said about anger control:

Look at the verse once again: It doesn’t say, “Explode or Suppress” It relates anger control with other qualities like “Pardoning or Forgiveness” Pardon is letting go the feeling without punishing the other person Forgiveness is releasing the resentment against the person Both are a necessity [among many other factors] to control anger Both need mental and emotional changes to allow them to work when angry Both need mental and emotional changes according to Islamic codes Mind and emotion need good reasons or benefits to pardon or forgive when angry and so on.

One benefit here in this verse is that Allah loves those who pardon and forgive when angry.

That’s how Islam prepares the total mind and emotion for anger control. And when mind and emotion do something the body just follows it. For example: A man can’t throw a punch without instruction from his mind and emotion.

How can we control our anger? This is the main question in this book. We are going to discuss various ways to control our anger throughout the book InshaAllah. But here I would like to give few preliminary points about how can we control our anger.

1. Identifying the reasons for anger: The first thing we must do is to identify the causes of anger in us. It can be done simply by asking ourselves a question. The question is, “What makes me angry?” Therefore every person is unique; the reasons for anger will be unique as well. It means the same reasons may not make every person angry. Different people may feel angry about different things, such as:

Angry when contradicted Angry when things do not go in his way Angry when criticized Angry when being put down Angry when room is not clean Angry when work is not done Angry when traffic is slow Angry when children do not listen

Al-Quran 3.134 “Who controls anger and pardon (all) man: Verily Allah loves those who do good.”

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Angry when students are naughty Angry when facing injustice Angry when facing corruption and so on Once we know what makes us angry, then we can work on it. We can then analyze what we need to adjust within ourselves to keep ourselves calm not angry. The reasoning is a kick start for solution.

2. Self-change: We face situations every day that annoy us or make us angry. Can we change these entire adverse situations? Or can we go to a perfect planet, to be away from annoyance? The answer is no! We can’t change the world. Then what should we do? Well, we can’t change the world but we can change ourselves. That’s what we need to do. We should learn how to adjust and cope with the annoying adverse situations. That’s what we have to do for our anger control. We have to change ourselves, our thinking patterns, our attitudes, our outlook, our habits and our whole perception about the reality and our manner. We have to be willing for self change for our anger control.

3. Self-change with right teaching: One can question which formula should I follow for my self change? The answer is; self change has to be according to right teaching. That’s where Islamic guidance plays the most effective role. It teaches us to change ourselves with righteousness. Islam is a divine guidance, it is neutral, it is errorless and it considers all the factors about us, and about our purpose of life and about our success and failure in both here and everlasting life. Islam wants to change us inside and outside to turn us into Allah’s ambassadors. Islam has the complete formula for our balanced mental and emotional characteristics. And anger is one of them. So our self change must be according to the teaching of Islam if we want to control our anger in the most beneficial manner.

4. Self-correction: Islam empowers us to take control over our own anger. Islam provides all the tips and teaches us to develop self respect in ourselves. Why? The main reason is Allah made us as the most honorable being. Allah gave us our title “Ambassadors of Allah.” Allah has given us all the tools like Holy Quran, His messenger to demonstrate for us, our will power, our reasoning capacity, our wisdom to analyze and take correct decision according to divine teachings etc. Allah gave us respect and wants us to respect ourselves. Self correction to control anger is a respected way. No one needs to tell us off, or curve our anger. We should be able to be the boss of our emotion and control our emotion according to divine guidance. This is a simple fact that we must respect ourselves if we want respect from others. And how can we respect ourselves? The self respect comes from self control. If we can control our anger through our own inner correction tools then we can save ourselves from humiliation and disgrace. Why do we need to control our anger? We need to control it to save ourselves from suffering, humiliation and loss. Allah (S.W.T) has given us all those tips in Islamic teachings as guidance for our own inner peace. We can control our anger with that guidance as well as we can control our good fate in both lives.

Allah says in Holy Quran 2.38 “And there will come to you guidance from Me; those who follow My guidance, for them there shall be no fear, and they shall not suffer.”

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Part Three: Anger, Satan and negative traits

Satan pushes anger button in human What is Satan’s job on this earth? How does Satan do his job? These are very important questions we must know. Why? We must know the tactics of our enemy in order to (1) Save us from his harms and (2) To take appropriate protection. First of all let us be sure about what is Satan’s job in this earth. Satan’s job is to misguide humans from the right path. Satan is working without rest to use every opportunity to deviate people from the path of Paradise. Satan inspires people to make mistakes and be in the Hell Fire with him. Allah (S.W.T) informs mankind “Satan’s Mission on this earth” for their safety.

Secondly, let us be sure about Satan’s tactics how it misguides people into the wrong things. In Holy Quran and Hadis, there are many tactics mentioned as a warning for mankind. If humans follow these tips they can surely be safe from satanic tricks. Here I shall refer to one of the satanic tactics in related to anger.

So we can see how Satan uses our anger to misguide us. When we feel angry Satan pushes that anger button [Angry feeling] to make us angrier, then more heated, then into insanity, then to be out of control and commit something horrendous, sinful, chaotic, destructive and so on. The result of that angry action will be terrible loss mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually in both this life and next everlasting life. It is like your computer being controlled by somebody else; Satan takes control over our anger and inspires us to be mad with anger. In other words when we are out of control with anger, we must realize that Satan is sitting in the driving seat and we become his passenger. We follow the driver Satan where ever he takes us to. Is it dangerous? Yes! It is very dangerous. We must be aware of Satan’s connection with our anger. We must separate Satan from our anger. Our anger must be free from satanic control.

Al Quran: 15.39 (Iblis) said: “O Lord! Because You have put me in the wrong, I will make (Wrong) seem fair to them (The humans) on the Earth, and I will put them all in the wrong.”

Allama Ibn Kaseer (Rah.A) recorded a long hadis from Ibn Jarir [Rah.A] in his Quran Tafsir 15.39-42 as following: [The Hadis is long, so I took the very relevant part] In the past, there used to be Mosques outside the living area for Allah’s messengers. So that whenever those Messengers needed to learn something from Allah, they could perform special Salaah in there and could supplicate to Allah (S.W.T) for guidance. Once a messenger of Allah was in a Mosque and Allah’s enemy Satan came in and sat between Qibla and the messenger. Then holy messenger said 3 times, “I am seeking refuge to Allah from the cursed Satan.” Then Satan said, “Tell me how you can be saved from me?” But Allah’s messenger said, “You rather tell me, how you win over human being?” Holy messenger asked Satan twice. Satan said, “I put pressure on anger and desires during the anger and lowly desires of children of Adam.”

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Satan was a victim of his own anger:

If we go right back to the story of Adam and Satan in Holy Quran, we find Iblis was a victim of his own “Out of control anger.” Iblis is the nick name of Satan. The brief story is like this:

Angel collected the clay according to the specification given by Allah (S.W.T). Then the clay was prepared and mixed properly to make a clay doll. That clay doll was the original shape of the first man Hazrat Adam. That clay doll was kept 40 days to allow it to dry properly. During that 40 day period, Iblis often went to see the clay doll. Iblis could understand that Adam was going to be the most honourable creation of all. That made him really ANGRY about the first man. He was so mad, out of his anger that he used to kick the doll. Besides, he used to say about the clay doll, “If I become winner over him then I certainly will destroy him.”

His mission against Adam and Adam’s children was an angry reaction. It was a reaction without wisdom. It was a reaction with revengeful attitude and madness. He took vows to destroy Adam and his children. His anger made him completely pessimistic and destructive.

Let us think a little more about Satan’s anger. Why was he cursed by Allah? In holy Quran he is called “Shaitaanir razeem—Satan accursed.” Razeem is cursed or driven away from all the goodness. So he lost all the positive qualities and gained all the negative qualities so he will deserve nothing but Allah’s punishment. So what was the main reason? It was his madness out of anger. When he could not get honour for his inflated ego, he became mad with anger and his madness made him rebel Allah, refusing to apologise to Allah and choosing the path of evil and so on.

Yes! Anger played a big part in his actions. His anger pushed him to seek revenge. With anger he prayed to Allah for respite so that he could misguide human. Allah mercifully gave him the chance to explain, to repent, to correct his mistake but how would an angry person ask for correction! That’s what happened to him. He did not take the path of correction; he took the path of destruction.

Dear friends! Satan’s story reminds us the terrible consequences of “out of control anger.” Satan earned his curse from Allah for his reckless anger. Do we want that too? Not at all! Satan was lost in his anger and he received Allah’s anger. If we do the same then we shall also receive Allah’s anger.

We can’t afford that. That’s why Allah mercifully taught us to seek Allah’s protection from Allah’s wrath and anger.

Holy Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) said rightly: AL GADABU MINASH SHAITAAN “Anger is from Satan.” [Abu Dawood]

Al-Quran1.6-7 “Guide us to the straight path; the path of those on whom You have bestowed Your mercy, those whose (Share) is not anger, against whom You are angered.”

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How to drive Satan away when angry?

So we see, we are in constant battle against Satan. Why? It is because Satan is always looking for an opportunity to poison us with his inspiration especially when we are angry. So what do we need to do? We must disconnect ourselves from Satan during our anger. That’s what we have to do.

Then we face the second question about Satan? Who are those Satans that we must drive away from us? Let us get the answer from divine knowledge again.

How can we drive Jinn Satan away? The battle with Jinn Satan is a difficult one. The main reasons are (A) We don’t see it, (B) We can’t use any ordinary weapon to fight against it and (C) Nothing can make Jinn Satan friendly with us, it stays open enemy forever. So it is a difficult battle for us. But no worries! Islam has taught us about the perfect weapon against Satan for us to win easily.

What is that weapon against Satan? The weapon is “Remembrance of Allah.” Or seeking refuge to Allah drives Satan away. That is the only weapon we can use to win over Satan. It is easy, and does not cost us anything. Let us look at the following evidences:

1. For driving away both Jinn and Human Satan: We need to seek refuge with Almighty Allah. Satan is scared of Allah. If anyone surrenders to Allah, Allah takes care of him/her from satanic whispers. Allah (S.W.T) kindly offers this remedy for mankind as stated in Holy Quran: 114

Almighty Allah offers His guarantee of protection in Holy Quran for people who takes shelter with Him.

2. For driving away Satan when we are angry: We also must seek refuge to Allah from the Satan

during our anger.

Imam Ahmed recorded a Hadis, narrated by Abu Jar (R.A) that Holy Prophet (S.A.W) said: “O Abu Jar! Seek shelter with Allah from Jinn and Human Satans.” I (Abu Jar) said, “O Messenger of Allah! Is there Satan in Human too?” Holy Prophet (S.A.W) said, “Yes!”

Al Quran:114 Say: I seek refuge with the Lord and Cherisher of Mankind, the king of Mankind, the God of Mankind, from the mischief of the Whisperer, who withdraws (After his whisper), who whispers into the hearts of Mankind, Among Jinn and among Men.

Al Quran: 7.200 “If a suggestion from Satan attacks your [mind], find [your] shelter with Allah; Verily, Allah hears and knows [all things]”

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So the easiest weapon to drive Satan away when we are angry is, we should recite the above sentence 3 times. InshaAllah that will drive Satan away and our anger will be free from satanic control.

Anger from negative traits; welcomes Satan Just imagine! What happens if your plate is dirty? It welcomes bacteria. Similarly, our negative traits welcome Satan to come on board with us. What does that mean? It means the choice is ours. If we get angry due to our negative traits then we welcome Satan inside us. On the other hand, if we drive Satan away from us and we use our positive traits then we do not allow Satan to come inside us. Negative traits inside us are for testing us. If we do not guard them, if we do not control them, then they will encourage us to take the satanic path. Our greed, jealousy, ego, haughtiness, pride, extravagance, selfishness and so on are called negative traits. Why do these traits welcome Satan? They welcome Satan because these traits and satanic traits have similarity. Remember I mentioned before why Satan was cursed by Allah. He was cursed because he chose all the negative qualities for himself. That’s why our negative traits have a strong connection with evil Satan. Then we come to the next point about anger from negative traits. What is it? It is “Feeling angry when our negative wishes are not met by others.” Remember! “Negative traits and anger” is like fuel and fire, the combination is a recipe for disaster. Let me give few examples to explain this issue: Anger from Haughtiness: Haughtiness or pride is a negative trait. It has no benefit of any kind. It is like a fire that burns the person from inside. This pride demands respect from others even in their wrongdoing. If the respect is not given for their wrongdoing, then the person feels angry. That’s what I mean by “Anger from negative traits.” Satan had the same problem. He became angry because Allah did not give him more respect over Adam. Satan was haughty and he demanded respect for himself only. As a result his pride and anger acted like a destructive bomb. Satan was kicked out of Paradise because of his negative trait (Arrogance) and anger.

Anger from jealousy: Jealousy is a negative trait in humans. A jealous heart burns like fire when it sees others are flourishing. Then that heart wants what others have or wants to destroy what others have. A brother can be angry from jealousy when he finds everyone appreciates his sister. A husband may feel jealous about his wife when everybody likes her for her lovely character. That can make him angry and cruel towards his wife. So the combination of jealousy and anger can make the person a cruel, heartless, hateful monster. So jealousy is a negative trait and anger from jealousy welcomes Satan to join in.

Ibn Kaseer (Rah.A) recorded a Hadis in the commentary of the above verse (7.200) as following: Two people were in the presence of Holy Prophet (S.A.W), one of them became angry and his nose puffed up with anger. Then Prophet (S.A.W) said: “I know such a sentence, if he (The angry person) recites it, his anger will disappear! The sentence is: AU’ JU BILLA HI MINASH SHAI TAA NIRRAZEEM- “I am seeking refuse in Allah from the cursed Satan”.

Holy Quran 7.13 - (Allah) Said: “Get yourself down of it (Paradise): It is not for you to be arrogant here: Get out because you are of the disgraced and shameful.”

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Jealousy is a disease and anger increases that disease into a serious destructive disease. It destroys friendship, relationships, peace and stability among persons and society. It also burns the good deeds as fire does and destroys the chance of entering into Paradise (According to Hadis). Allah (S.W.T) prohibits us from Jealousy.

Control negative traits and control anger: The first point here is: We must control our negative traits. Why? We need to control them for our own salvation. Worse than that is, Allah never loves negative traits. If we are not careful enough, we will become victim of our own sinful desires, lusts, selfishness and we will be lost in sin. Most people do not realise, we have a big Satan inside us and that is our bad desires, our negative instincts. So we must make a conscious effort to keep an eye on our worst enemy inside us. How can we get protection from our own devil side? We must do two things

1. Careful observation: Whether we are following the divine guidance or we are following our bad desires. That observation should be as frequent as possible, especially if there is anything from which we feel angry

2. Regular supplication: We must pray to Allah to protect us from our evil instincts. Holy Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) used to seek Allah’s protection even at the beginning of any sermon as following:

The second point here is: We must separate our anger from our negative traits. How can we do that? It is simple. We need to use God given wisdom every time we feel angry. We have to ask ourselves one simple question every time we feel angry. The question is, “Why am I angry?” If we ask this question honestly keeping Allah in our minds, then we surely will get the true answer, and if we find that we are angry for our negative, selfish traits then we can follow divine teaching and correct ourselves. Anger control through self-evaluation is the most noble, most effective and most honourable method. We all must practise this method. Allah (S.W.T) calls His believers to self evaluate their own self for their lofty future, the everlasting paradise.

So the Islamic teaching is very effective. It teaches us the evil causes of anger and also teaches us to separate our anger from our evil desires. That way, any wise, self-conscious and God fearing person

Al Quran 4.32: “And it is not wise to seek out those things in which Allah has bestowed His gifts more freely on some of you than on others.”

Wa Nau’ ju billahi min shoroori anfusina - “We seek refuge with Allah from our own harmful instincts.”

Al Quran 59.18: “O you who believe! Fear Allah, and let every soul look to what it has put forward for the future. Yes, fear Allah! Verily! Allah knows well (all) that you do.”

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can self-evaluate to find where the anger is coming from and can take self-remedy to control both evil desires and anger. Islam offers this free yet extremely effective therapy for anger control.

Satan can’t push anger button if we follow positive traits Can bacteria come on a clean plate? No! The reason is bacteria can’t grow in a clean plate. Bacteria needs a dirty plate for its growth. Similarly, Satan can’t come into a person who remembers Allah, follows Allah’s commands, fear Allah’s punishment and have a clean heart with full of positive traits. In other words, the positive traits I mean are righteous or noble traits such as honesty, kindness, piety, generosity, forgiveness, God fearing, truthfulness, compassion and so on. Let me make another point here. Positive traits themselves are not enough to discourage Satan. Positive traits have to be for Allah’s sake. Often Satan spoils positive traits if that is not for Allah’s sake. For example, charity is a positive trait. If charity is not for Allah’s sake then Satan comes in and encourages the donor to donate for the sake of name and fame, and if name and fame is not achieved then Satan encourages the donor to feel frustrated and then angry and then to stop the charity all together. You hear from many donors saying with anger, “I gave so much and this is what I get in return?” You see, their motive was to get something in return. That is a negative and selfish trait. Whereas Islam teaches, give charity for the pleasure of Allah only, not for any other gain. If someone gives charity for Allah, then it becomes a righteous deed within Allah’s rules. Once it is within Allah’s rules, Satan can’t come in to frustrate the donor and can not make the donor angry either. Without positive moral characters we can’t control anger within righteous boundary. For a healthy anger we need a healthy heart with righteous traits. One can’t survive without the other. Anyone who wishes to have healthy and positive anger must cultivate positive and righteous moral characters in him for the sake of Allah. Then the whole job of anger control will becomes easy. To understand this point, we should re visit the Quranic verse again and have a careful look at it.

What do we see in the above verse? We see:

Allah did not mention “Anger control” at the beginning The verse doesn’t only talk about “Anger control” Allah has mentioned few righteous positive traits before mentioning “Anger control” All the righteous traits must be for the Lord, Allah Almighty It makes sense that anger control needs righteous traits with it to make it work The verse shows Allah’s wisdom! Subhanallah! Now we can briefly describe the righteous traits in this verse that helps anger control in human:

1. Hearts seek Allah’s forgiveness: This is a righteous heart because it doesn’t care about selfish name or fame or worldly gain; it cares most if Allah forgives him/her. Satan can not come into this heart. As a result, this heart is safe from negative traits and also free from Satan therefore this heart is free from anger that

Al Quran 3.133-134: Be quick in the race for forgiveness from your Lord, and for a Garden whose width is that (of the whole) heavens and of the earth, prepared for those who fear Allah. Those who spend (freely in the cause of Allah), whether there is plenty, or there is little; who controls anger and pardon (all) man: Verily Allah loves those who do good.”

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derives from negative traits. This heart does not feel angry once it realizes that the anger was derived from selfish negative thoughts. We can see, for anger control, how a righteous heart plays a great role! Maybe that’s why Allah has mentioned about the righteous heart before mentioning about anger control. Maybe a righteous heart is a precondition for anger control! Allah knows best!

2. Hearts that seek paradise:

What kind of heart seeks Paradise? A heart that believes that Paradise is the safest destination and that heart doesn’t want to destroy the chance of going into Paradise. That heart is peaceful and looks for every peaceful way to deal with other people. That heart is craving to meet Allah in Paradise. Satan can’t come into this heart and can’t push the anger button. Again we see, a righteous heart for Allah’s sake is the pre condition of anger control.

3. God fearing heart:

Fear of Allah’s punishment is the best righteous of all. This is the biggest positive trait of all. This heart is cautious all the time about negative, sinful motives or traits because it fears Allah’s punishment. This fear of Allah is like a camera installed into this heart. If any little sinful thought or motive intrudes the mind or heart, this camera captures it. Then the heart feels remorseful for the wrong feeling and quickly repents to Allah. Satan can’t come into this heart as long the camera is on. As a result, this heart can’t generate anger from negative traits. So the source of anger is cleansed to control the anger effectively.

4. Unselfish Heart:

What kind of heart can donate in richness and in poorness? An unselfish heart off course! On the other hand, a selfish heart gets angry easily. A generous heart donates to receive Allah’s pleasure. That’s why it doesn’t hold grudges against receivers if even they betray. How can Satan come into this heart to incite anger against betrayers? Only a generous, unselfish heart can forgive others easily because it is used to giving away. This heart can control anger better because it has huge practice how to give up things to please Allah. So for anger control we need to prepare our hearts with the righteous traits that Allah has mentioned in this verse.

5. Anger control and forgiveness:

Finally, in this verse Allah has mentioned “Anger control and forgiveness” side by side. Why? Maybe the one who can forgive easily can also control anger easily. A mind that does not dwell with hatred or grudge can also let the anger go without difficulty. Here, Allah is teaching mankind, to control anger to pardon others for His sake. If a heart is prepared to pardon others to please Allah then yes! That heart can easily control its anger. Surely, if a heart can control anger to please Allah then Allah also loves that heart, and if Allah loves a heart, then that heart will have peace, success and paradise without any doubt. Let us look at a beautiful hadis:

So, we see again, for anger control we need to implant righteous traits inside us for the sake of Allah. If we can do that then anger control will be easier for us Insha Allah.

Part Four: Mind power in anger control

Hazrat Abdullah Ibn U’mar (R.A) narrates that Holy Prophet (S.A.W) said, “In the sight of Allah, no swallowing is better than swallowing anger, which is done to please Allah only.” [Ahmed]

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Mind power and anger control: Anger is an emotional trait. It is powerful enough to drive the person to commit wrong things or to commit injustices on others. That’s why we need to control it. But what do we have inside us that can control our emotion? It is the mind. Allah created the mind with more power to control our desires (Emotions) with reasons. The mind does all the processing and collecting information then analyzing that information to make the right decision. Then the mind uses the will power to impose that decision on the desires. Suppose if I feel angry and my desires say go after revenge. But my mind has to decide what is best to do, revenge or forgiveness. My mind uses Islamic teaching to see which option is most profitable. When it finds that forgiveness brings huge rewards from Allah then my mind instructs my emotion to stop feeling for revenge. Then my emotion feels calm during anger. So mind is more powerful than our emotion. And we should use our mind power to control our emotion including anger. It is the best tool for anger control. If we do not use our mind, then we will be driven by our impulses and we will go wrong. Islam trains Muslims to increase that mind power over their emotions. Take an example about FASTING in Islam. What is the purpose of fasting? One of the main purposes is to train Muslims how to make their mind bosses over their emotions or physicality. In other words Fasting teaches our mind to control our emotion like anger. Fasting teaches us self control. Holy Quran describes the purpose of Fasting.

Through fasting we deny our emotional demands like craving for intimacy between husband and wife, our urge to fight-curse-abuse due to anger, our anger due to jealousy etc. Fasting empowers our mind to instruct our emotion what is best to do and what should be avoided. The bottom line if we want to control our anger then we must use our mind power.

Mind power: A real hero can control anger Just imagine about a debate or a battlefield. You are facing your opponent. You want to win. Your opposition will try everything to make you emotional, angry and to take hasty decisions. Why? It is a tactic to make you feel out of control. Once you are out of control you won’t know what you are doing. You will make mistakes and your mistake means you will be defeated by your opponent. When one becomes too angry, he may start shaking, or say something wrong, or think irrationally, or can not make a good point, or takes impulsive moves then how can he win? An angry person can’t observe his opponent’s move properly and can not even defend himself well. So just think again. You want to be a hero. To be a hero you have to win. And to win you have to control your emotion. To control your emotion you have to use your mind. When you can use your mind wisely and use your emotion for passion then my friend! You are likely a winner. As you win, people will cheer for you. People will take you as a hero. Remember! A hero is not the one who is most angry but the hero is the one who can control his anger with his mind to the victory. Do you want to be a hero? If the answer is yes, then learn to use your mind power to control your emotion. Precisely, that is the teaching of Islam. Let us look at a beautiful Hadis:

Al Quran 2.183: O you who believe! Fasting is prescribed to you: As it was prescribed to those before you that you may (learn) self-control.”

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Mind power: Anger control with wisdom: The Islamic term for wisdom is “Hikmah”. So what is wisdom? Wisdom is the ability to use the divine knowledge in a sensible manner. The ripened wisdom doesn’t come without divine knowledge because men-earned knowledge is incomplete. Wisdom is a special gift from Allah to those who earnestly learn, believe and practice the divine (Revealed from Allah) information. In Islamic context what is the source of real wisdom? The answer is “Allah”. In Holy Quran Allah called Himself “The All Wise.” 59.24: Al-Hakeem, (the All Wise). The next source of wisdom is Al-Quran. Why? It is because Al-Quran is exactly Allah’s words. That’s why Allah gave the name of His holy Quran “Book of wisdom,” 36.2 Wal Qur’anil Hakeem (By the Quran, full of Wisdom). Then who is the teacher of wisdom among human? It is Allah’s messengers. Allah reveals in Al Quran: 62.4: “And to teach them Divine Book and the Wisdom.”) Wisdom is a great gift from Allah. With it we see the reasons, we see the future result, we balance our acts most appropriate to the persons or situations and we offer our actions in a smooth way without inciting, offending or burdening other persons and so on. Whoever receives wisdom from Allah receives great benefits.

Now the question is how can we control our anger with wisdom? We know, wisdom is the ability to use the divine knowledge to make a sensible decision. With wisdom we can decide what to do with our anger. Wisdom enables us to see the result of our anger even before our angry actions. Wisdom tells us whether is it worthy to be angry or not, or if it is worthy then how should we express our anger etc. Let us use an example: Suppose, my child made a mistake and I feel angry about it. I feel like beating him to give him a lesson. So it is my feeling or desire or my impulse that I should beat him due to my anger. Now I keep my feeling separate and I use my wisdom. My wisdom does 2 main things for me.

1. It gives me all possible forecast about what might happen if I beat him out of my anger. Such as:

He might run away from me He might end up with wrong friends who will give him wrong advices He might feel angry and rebellious and won’t take a lesson from my beating at all, rather

opposite may happen My angry beating may result only hatred and bitterness between me and him He might feel abandoned from me and may feel depressed He may get into drugs out of depression He may even think for suicide out of depression

Abu Huraira (R.A) narrated that Holy Prophet (S.A.W) said: “That person is not really powerful who can defeat his opponent. Actually the real HERO is that person, who can control himself/herself during anger.” [Muatta]

Holy Quran 2.269: “He grants wisdom to whom He pleases; and he to whom wisdom is granted, receives abundant rewards.”

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I might end up in jail My family, my child and me---all may suffer etc. 2. Wisdom gives me divine information about what is the best course of action for me to take in

that situation. It is “Patience, restraint, control” about my anger. For example Allah gives advice in holy Quran

To summarize the point, let us ask again; how does wisdom work in my anger control? The answer is: my wisdom tells me the harms before my angry beating to my child which slows me down in angry outburst and with it tells me about the best beneficial action to take according to the divine teachings. Combining with these two my mind decides to drop my anger and deal with my son wisely. May Allah grant all of us wisdom, Ameen!

Mind power: Anger control by diverting mind. What is diverting mind? It means to shift the focus. What happens when we shift our focus? We lose interest on the subject that we are angry about and that way we lose our anger as well. Let me give you an example. Suppose a mother is angry and arguing with her husband. At this stage her mind is focused on this angry issue and she is dealing with it through argument. Moments later, she hears her baby screaming. She runs to her baby who just woke up from sleep with a big scream. She calls her husband to come quickly and check with the baby why she screamed. What happened to her? Well, her mind has shifted the focus from anger to childcare. Now her mind is active with the welfare of her child. Her mind now instructing her body to release sympathy hormones and stops the anger related hormones. She has shifted her focus and anger has gone. The same way, we can shift our focus when we are angry or feeing rage. We should just remove ourselves from that angry situation and engage ourselves with something else important. Our mind has power to divert its focus without any accident. Anger is like a fire. If we sit beside it, then it will make us hot as well. But if we remove ourselves from the fire and sit beside cold snow, then we will feel the cold as well. So it is up to us where we should put ourselves when we are angry. If we want to control our anger then obviously we have to divert our mind from anger and shift it to something cooler, calmer and peaceful. How can we divert our mind when we are angry? We can do it in so many ways. Here are some suggestions below:

Take time out: Stop right there. Full stop. Suppose, husband and wife began angry argument, stop right there. You can’t solve problems with angry firing at one another. Especially between the loved ones angry argument is a disaster because it hurts more. You have to stay close to one another and the more you see one another the more it reminds you the hurt. So stop angry conversation and do something else.

Leave the place: Go to another room or leave the place when you are angry. Be extra careful if you are angry with a loved one. Leave gently. If you leave with stormy anger then your loved one may feel abandoned or may feel scared which will leave a scar in her heart. Then it will make her angrier. Leave the room but do not go too far.

Recite Quran: Quran recitation is soothing for your heart as well as soothing for the other person because both are Muslims. If the other person is not a Muslim then recite Quran in

Al Quran 31.17: “And be patient and constant with whatever happens to you, verily these are of the firm commandments.”

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your mind because a non believer may feel more irritated with Quran recitation. But if the other person is Muslim then Satan will run away from that person also due to Quran recitation. Besides, Quran recitation brings wisdom and Allah’s mercy and the result is anger control.

Change the subject: In discussions often we come to a point we don’t agree with each other any more. Then it leads to attack and defense and causes more angry arguments. If we reach that stage, the best thing is we change the subject in a civil manner. One should say, “Look! We can’t agree in this. Let us talk about something else now. We can revisit this subject later.” Changing the subject changes the defensive feeling and it changes the cause of anger all together.

Look at the ground: Why looking at the ground? The reason is to cool the emotion. The earth is cool and calm. It doesn’t argue back or it doesn’t fire anger back to you. So when our eyes are diverted from the offender to calm and cool earth, it gives us a calming effect as well to defuse our anger.

Wait: When we are angry, our mind works faster, thinks faster and makes quicker decisions. If we allow our mind to continue with anger, we can’t control our anger then. We have to divert our mind by “Waiting until we are not angry”. Just push the break, don’t accelerate the anger any further. Wait and buy the time. Do not face the situation right now because you are angry now. Wait! Waiting is like cutting the fuel supply to your anger. If you can wait, soon your anger will die without fuel.

Positive words: What if you are not angry but another person is angry with you? Your wife is firing at you and how can you divert her mind to divert her anger? Yes! You can do something to divert her mind. When she is angry, use nice and positive words to her. Such as:

“I love you more when you smile”, “Our love is stronger than this disagreement,” “We shall discuss it when we are not angry” etc. We must make sure that we are not saying anything inflammatory. When a loved one is angry, the best words are nice complimentary words. Satan uses harsh words to make each other angry which leads to discord and fights. Allah (S.W.T) advises in Holy Quran to use best words for peace and harmony

Mind power: Divine teaching about mind diversion. Islam teaches us about diverting mind to control our anger. If we look at couple of examples, we will see the divine wisdom in the teaching of Holy Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W). .

1. It teaches us to take ablution when we are angry. Water is cooler and opposite to the anger. The change from the fire to the cooler is a diversion and it helps anger control.

Al Quran 17.53: “And say to My servants that they should (Only) say those words that are best: Verily, Satan brings in disagreements and disharmony between them: Surely, Satan is to man an open enemy.”

Hazrat A’tiyyah Ibn U’rwah Sa’di (R.A) said that holy prophet (S.A.W) said: “Anger is from Satan and Satan is made of fire. The fire is taken out by water. So when someone of you is angry you should do ablution.” [Abu Dawood]

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In divine action we do not receive only the material benefit but it brings spiritual benefit as well. Ablution water and fire fighting waters are not same. Ablution is done to please Allah and it is done as Allah taught us through His holy messenger. That’s why ablution water brings Allah’s mercy to cool the anger quicker. 1000’s of water buckets can’t do what ablution water can do. We must keep that in mind that Islamic practices brings Allah’s mercy, wisdom and all kinds of benefits that is beyond human power.

2. Islam teaches us the benefit of changing position in anger control. Changing of position dis-engages our mind from that issue or situation. The result of it is calmness from anger.

The above hadis’ is evidence about how important the mind diversion technique for anger control. We should use it to be a cool person insha Allah!

Mind power: Control your anger to control other’s anger. What about when you are calm but another person is angry with you? How can you calm the other person? It is possible in many cases. So what do you have to do? Let us together go through few tips below:

Control your anger at first: You can’t expect to control others anger if you can’t control yours at first. Keep your mind cool. Observe the moves of other person. When you are calm despite other person’s angry outburst, the other person will notice that. Without firing back the other person can’t increase his anger power. It will slow down and will die soon if you don’t supply the ammunition. Yes! It works. When some one is angry at you, you give him a smile instead of angry response. You will diffuse or control his anger by your nice action. Remove the fear of other person: So first of all you are calm, well done! You have already begun controlling the other person’s anger. Now do the next wise thing. What is it? You just listen to the person patiently. Try to understand why the other person is angry at you. Often people become angry out of fear. For example: Your child is angry at you. You listened carefully and found out that the child fears that you will not buy her a dress that she likes. Now you can act precisely to control her anger because you know the reason. You just assure her and remove her fear. Then she will melt into a loving mood from anger mood. See, how we can control other’s anger by some wise steps! Always offer the best manner to the angry person: Doesn’t matter how angry the other person is at you, do not fear the person but fear Allah. And keep offering your nicest manner to that angry person. One day, two days or months, you will have some control in the heart of that angry person. The angry person will feel guilty because you are nice to his anger. Then one day he will change his anger in to friendship. Suppose your neighbor gets angry with you but you never respond to your neighbor with anger. Rather you smile, you share food, you visit when they are sick then you will see gradually Insha Allah your neighbor’s heart is changing. Remember! We can change other people’s heart not with anger but with love and care. That’s what we learn from Holy Quran

Hazrat Abu Zaar (R.A) narrates that Messenger of Allah (S.A.W) said: “When one of you are angry, if he is standing then he should sit down. If anger goes away by that then it is fine but if still angry then he should lie down.” [Ahmed, Tirmidi]

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What do we learn here? We are not only responsible to control our own anger but we are also responsible to control other’s anger as much as we can. We should try that every day with our loved ones, with our children, with our relatives, with our neighbors, with our fellow human and workmates and so on. Together with our own anger control we can make a better world around us. As a result we can enjoy peace, love and happiness, Insha Allah! May Allah give us ability to keep our anger under control so that we can influence other angry people into calmness, Ameen!

Mind power: Calculate the benefit of anger control. Which faculty in us is responsible to calculate loss of profit? It is our mind. We should use our mind to calculate the gain and loss every time we feel angry. To do that let us keep things in the right perspective, such as:

Calculation on which basis? One may say, “Look! I am smart. I know which anger is right for me.” Human mind have experienced lots of techniques and data about anger and have designed many studies for anger management. So I understand, lot of people would use their wisdom to calculate the risk and gain of their anger. If they see their anger is likely to bring harm then they control it. It is good but definitely not the best.

Which calculation is best: A best calculation is the calculation based on divine information and data. Why? The answer is: The divine information gives us short term, long term and everlasting data about loss or gain. What we know without divine information, we may think it is for our best but it may not be the best for us in the long run.

Calculation about ultimate gain or loss: Islamic anger control is about the ultimate everlasting gain or loss. It gives a certainty for the loss or gain from the creator. As a result it is the strongest calculation that gives strongest motivation to a mind. Islam trains our mind to calculate the gain or loss about our anger based on the divine calculation. It motivates our mind to see the clear road and to drive to the right direction to reach to our destination safely. Our ultimate motto is to receive Allah’s forgiveness to be able to enter into everlasting paradise. Islamic teachings educate our minds the real loss and gain in Allah’s court.

Islam teaches us the huge benefit of anger control in this life which is short term benefit. Also it teaches the long term benefit in never ending life to come. It addresses the same way the loss of anger in short term and long term basis. Let us look at a Hadis to understand that calculation:

How does that calculation work? It is a simple. When we are angry with others we want to be hard on them. But when we disobey Allah, do we expect Allah to be angry with us? Or do we expect Allah to forgive us? This is a simple calculation formula from Islamic teaching. So the simple message is: If

Al Quran 41.33: “And good deeds and evil deeds cannot be equal. (So) give up (Evil) with what is better: Then verily, he (The one) between whom and you was hatred, will become like your friend and close companion!”

Hazrat Anas (R.A) narrated that Messenger of Allah [Muhammad S.A.W] said: “Whoever controls his/her anger, Allah will remove punishment away from him/her in the Day of Judgment.” [Mishqat]

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we want Allah to not be angry with us then we should not be angry with others. Similarly, if we want Allah to be forgiving to us then we should also be forgiving to others. If we use that simple calculation in our mind, then we will be lot calmer people, less angry people and we can control our anger with the hope that Allah will also control His anger against us in the Day of Judgment. May Allah grant us the ability to keep that simple calculation in our mind to control our anger, Ameen!

Part Five: Using understanding in anger control

Understanding: Better understanding, better anger control Sometimes we feel angry at one another from misunderstanding. The more we develop better understanding the less misunderstanding we face. It results lesser angry exchanges. If we do not improve our understanding about our feeling as well as other’s feelings then we can’t make a peaceful existence. As a human we must learn human nature to be able to deal with each other better. Simply if we can understand why another person is angry with us then we won’t feel angry. Our understanding will tell us why we should be compassionate rather than angry. That’s why people with understanding are wiser, calmer and less angry. An understanding person is a risk for Satan. Why? It is because Satan can’t incite them to be angry. These people wait and investigate properly to understand the situation well before they throw their angry reaction to others and Satan doesn’t like that. We find this fact in a Hadis:

Understanding is knowledge and knowledge is about understanding. When a person is keen to understand, is bound to be more knowledgeable and wise. We all can try to deepen our understanding everyday to be wiser and to be more in control. How does understanding come? Understanding comes through active questioning. Yes! Self searching to learn more is a very good technique to increase our understanding. Let me give an example of questioning for better understanding and then how our understanding controls our anger. Suppose my wife is angry with me. What do I have to do to understand her anger? I have to start questioning around her anger, such as:

Why is she angry? That should be the first question. I have to understand her reasons before my response to her anger. Without understanding her reason, if I respond to her anger with my anger, what will happen? It will be a war, a stupid war. Why stupid? Because any action without proper understanding is stupid. Islam teaches us to be smart, not stupid.

Is it my fault? This is a brave question. Only a sincere person can point to himself and say, “Is she angry because its my fault?” Often people do not want to see their own mistakes. They feel angry if any one contradicts their decision. But an understanding person would always need to check his stand first by questioning “Am I fair? Am I causing the anger in another person? Should I mend my manner?” This kind of self evaluation prevents people from getting angry easily. Their understanding helps them to control their anger better.

Hazrat Abdullah Ibn Abbas (R.A) said, Holy Prophet (S.A.W) said: “A knowledgeable one (Faqih) is more dangerous for Satan than thousands of worshippers.” [Tirmidi & Ibn maza]

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Is she angry out of sickness? Often the person who loves me most feels disappointed with me easily. I must understand that. She has rights on me as I have rights on her. Her anger towards me could be a snappish reaction due to her monthly sickness or a headache she is suffering from. I need to understand this kind of human pain. I need to understand that I also feel angry from noise if I suffer from headache. When I use this understanding process and I find her sick then what happen? Do I feel angry in return to her anger? No! I feel sympathy for her. Instead of being angry I offer her my love, care and consolation. The result becomes sweet between us. Besides, Allah (S.W.T) grants huge rewards for the loving treatment for both me and my wife.

This is just an example how we can question around the anger to deepen our understanding. Understanding solves the problems and solution makes us happy. Happiness takes away our anger. Through understanding, we can be a better person everyday. We can deal with others wisely and we can avoid anger easily. Just imagine! If we practise this understanding with everybody in family, with friends, relatives and with others! We will be cool people, not easily angry people. That’s what we want, don’t we?

Understanding: own pain and other’s pain to control anger Often we feel angry due to our pain. It can be physical pain or emotional pain. Mostly emotional pain makes us angry. For example: Someone cheated you or betrayed you or let you down. It makes you feel pain and you feel angry either with yourself or with the betrayer. Human understanding should begin from own pain. We should ask, “How do I feel when I suffer? How do I feel when I am angry? What do I crave to relieve my anger? Do I crave for love, sympathy, consolation or help when I am angry? We feel sad sometimes, or we feel sick, or we feel lonely and helpless. What do we crave then? We like to be offered help from others not their anger. This understanding we should apply in our day to day life not to feel angry about things we do not like in others. For example, naughty kids make us feel angry. But instead of feeling angry we should find out what pain causes them to be naughty. We should try to put ourselves into their shoes and try to feel what pain they are going through. That will make us sympathetic towards them rather than angry. Young people are on drugs, alcohol and violent. We feel angry about them and want tougher laws against them. Yes! As a leader you may feel angry about them and may like to punish them with tougher law. But that doesn’t solve the problem. Your angry action makes them more rebellious, and that increases more social problems. What you need to do is to understand their pain which is causing them to be destructive. It may be they went through abuse, may be they did not receive love and so on. Imagine your pain if you were in their shoes! Some children feel angry when their sick and old parents ask for their help. Some children feel angry towards their parents thinking that parents are a burden on them. Why do they feel angry? They feel angry because they do not understand their past, their own childhood. If they really understand their childhood, when they were fully dependant on their parents, that they were totally helpless, only thing they could do was to cry for help from parents. If an adult truly understand how much they

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needed their parents help, not parent’s anger, then they will treat their parents with love as they craved for love from their parents in their childhood. Islam teaches us to use our understanding about our pain to understand other’s pain. That way we can accommodate other’s needs into us without feeling angry. Just look at an example in Holy Quran

In this verse Allah (S.W.T) reminds children to understand their helpless childhood for understanding the need of their parents. Once someone realises it then he/she will not feel angry towards parents when parents need their service. Again, people get angry often from ignorance and with anger they do lots of damage. For example, pagans were angry with Holy Prophet (Peace be upon him) and tortured him and his companions. In Taef city they threw stones on him and injured him so that he bleed and faint. Yet Holy Prophet was sympathetic towards them. After Taef torture holy prophet prayed for their forgiveness in the count of their ignorance (Lack of understanding): “O Allah! Forgive them because they do not know me.” This is an example, despite being tortured, how understanding about others could antidote Holy Prophet’s anger. He understood their wrong doings and that made him sympathetic towards them. Holy messengers throughout the history had that understanding towards ignorant people. Despite torture they never felt angry, or did seek revenge rather they invited other people to develop their understanding about Islamic Faith. If they understood well, they would not have tortured Allah’s messengers. Everyday people annoy us, we feel angry. But instead of getting angry, if we try to understand why those people are acting weirdly then we would feel sorry for them instead of angry. We all have to act partially like doctors. For example: When an angry, abusive, and destructive child is brought to a doctor by a parent, the doctor does not react to the angry patient with anger. Rather the doctor investigates what is causing the child to be like that. Then the doctor finds with investigation that the child is suffering from otitis media (middle ear infection). Then the doctor prescribes something to remove the inflammation. When inflammation is gone the anger is also subsided. That is how we should treat one another in the case of anger. My point is, any other people who annoy us are like that sick child. His sickness made him weird. Weird people have some kind of sickness whether physical, emotional, mental, moral or spiritual. If we make effort to understand them, it will help us in following way:

1. We will not feel angry rather we will feel sympathetic towards them 2. It saves us from bad health because anger is not good for our health 3. We can deal with them calmly and wisely and will get better result 4. We can be thankful to Allah saying, “Thank you Allah! For not making us weird like others.”

Al Quran 17.223-24: “Whether one or both of your parents reach old age in your life, do not say words of (Hate and) disrespect to them, and do not brush them aside (With anger), instead, talk to them with (respect and) honour. ----------------------and say “My Lord! Grant them Your mercy as they brought me up (dearly) during my childhood.”

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Understanding: Be aware of your own anger. What do we learn from anger management course? Among many tips the most important one we learn is “Self-Awareness.” What is self-Awareness? It is the understanding about our own anger. Such as:

What makes me angry? How my anger starts? At which point I begin losing control? What do I do when I feel angry? Quiet? Shouting? Cursing? Fight? Insane actions? What can I do to alter my sensitivity to curve my anger? What should I avoid to avoid anger? What should I do when I start losing control? What should I do short or long term basis to control my anger? Do I look pretty or ugly or scary when I am angry? Make a list of many questions. Encourage your family members to do the same. Teach your children to do the same. You will be surprised how much our own ugliness will come out through this method. This way we can know better about our own monster inside us. When we understand our own self better then we can work out how to control our own anger better.

Self awareness makes you like a driver who has done a defensive driving course. A defensive driver knows exactly when to push the plate to control the car. Or he knows what kind of hazard to look for to avoid an accident. Anger management is like that. It is a process of knowing own anger and taking all the necessary steps to avoid the anger before it happens. We need all the beneficial knowledge to be wise, to be righteous, and to have self control and so on. May Allah grant us insight about our own self! Holy prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) taught us to supplicate to Allah for such deep knowledge that really benefits us:

Being aware about our own anger we can understand why and when we feel angry as well as how to control it.

Understanding: Use your reasoning to control anger What is reasoning? It is the process of drawing conclusions from facts or evidence. It is a great tool Allah (S.W.T) gifted mankind. With it we can see the pros and cons of our anger. With it we can analyse the benefit or harm of our anger. Let me try to explain how we reason with couple of examples: Example one: Suppose someone comes and tell me that you are plotting to occupy my land. What should I feel and do now? Should I be angry and send some people to beat you up before you occupy my land? No! I have to do the reasoning before any angry reaction. So I begin my reasoning like this:

How true is the news?

ALLAAHUMMA INNEE ASALUKA I’LMAN NAAFI’A - “O Allah! I seek knowledge from you that is really beneficial”

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Am I sure that he wants to occupy my land? What evidence do I have to be sure? Have I done investigation to become sure? So what is my duty here? To be angry or to do investigation first? Our reasoning pushes us to seek divine guidance in situations like this. So what is Allah’s command in the situation like this? Let us find the answer from the Holy Quran: 49.6

With reasoning I also can calculate some of the bad consequences if I take angry action wrongly. Such as:

I may injure him He may injure me Revenge may follow in generations Wealth, money will be lost from both sides Police may get involve Both families will suffer Allah will be unhappy; I will commit sins and will be punished by Allah etc. That is how reasoning can prevent me from becoming hot headed and hot tempered. With reasoning, my anger will be challenged and I have to justify my anger with reasons, evidence and facts. I have to justify my anger in the light of divine guidance. This reasoning doesn’t come overnight, it comes with conscious and continuous efforts. No doubt it is a best tool for anger control.

Example Two: Suppose I am travelling with my family. My child took my wallet to buy something from the shop. But she left my wallet there and it was lost. I lost my wallet, money, bank cards and driving licence. I am in trouble. I feel frustrated and angry. I look for whom to blame. Who would you blame if you were in my position? But I am a Muslim. I’m supposed to be understanding. I’m suppose to go through facts and evidence before I put the blame on my child. Should not I? So I begin questioning about what happened before I show my anger. Such as:

What shall I achieve if I get angry with my child? Will it give my wallet back? Will it make my child feel good? Will it be fair to be angry for her mistake? What if I did that mistake? Why this loss happened to me anyway? Is it a test from Allah? What should I do now? Should I be patient and pray to Allah or should I show my angry

tantrum? Etc.

This kind of reasoning opens the window of wisdom. I don’t see benefit in getting angry then. I console my heart saying, “May be it is my Qadr (Fate), or may be Allah is testing me, or may be

Al Quran 49.6: “O you who believe! If an ungodly person (fasiq) comes to you with any news, (First), verify the truth, in case that you may harm people unwittingly, and afterword have to be regretful for what you have done.”

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with this loss Allah wants to forgive my sins, or may be with this worry Allah wants to elevate my status in righteousness and so on.” All these reasonings makes me calm not angry. Now let us look at a verse in holy Quran: Allah (S.W.T) says:

Example 3: Suppose my brother attempts to kill me. Should I kill him out of my anger? No! I have to do the reasoning here. Such as:

Who decides about my life and death? My brother or Allah? Can he kill me if Allah decides me to be alive? Should I be violent in return to my brother’s violence? What shall I achieve if I kill him? What will he achieve if he kills me? What is my duty here? Etc.

We can see an example of two brothers in Holy Quran. There were two sons of Hazrat Adam (A.S). They were Qabil and Habil. Qabil was angry with Habil and he decided to kill his own blood brother Habil. He was jealous and out of jealousy he became angry and wanted to kill his pious brother. But despite the killing threat, the pious Habil used his reasoning. He had understanding about rights and responsibilities. His reasoning was as following: Holy Quran: 5.28-29

What a brilliant reasoning! Wise Habil did not react angrily to his brother’s injustice. He felt it was not worthy at all. His reasoning was:

Allah forbid killing one another unfairly If you kill me, you will defy Allah You will be sinner You will be punished You will carry my sins as well I won’t kill you because I fear Allah’s punishment If Allah decides me to die this way, I have nothing to lose because Allah will compensate me

in Paradise

So that way Habil found tranquillity in his heart despite killing threat by his brother. This example proves that reasoning makes us peaceful not angry. Reasoning also makes us wise and controlled. So every time we feel angry, we should use reasoning to control our anger.

Al Quran 2.155: “And be sure We shall test you with some fear and hunger, some loss of goods, or lives, or the fruits (of your hard work), but give glad news to those who patiently perseveres.”

Al Quran 5.28-29: Habil said to Qabil, “If you do stretch your hand against me, to kill me, (Then) it is not for me to stretch my hand against you to kill you: Because I do fear Allah---

As for me, I intend to let you take upon yourself my sin as well as yours, for you will be among the companions of the Fire, and that is the reward of those who do wrong.”

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Part Six: Anger control in sickness

Sickness and anger: Just imagine you are suffering from a Migraine headache. You may like to lie down quietly without any disturbance, noise or bright light. If someone from your family scream then how would you feel? Most likely you would feel angry. That anger is out of your sickness. Normally you may be a cool, calm and pleasant person but when sick you may feel angry. Or imagine of a child, wakes up from sleep screaming, angry and abusive. You can’t calm the child down. You offer this and that but nothing works. Then you decide to take the child to a doctor in the middle of the night. Guess what! The doctor finds the reason of anger in the child. What is it? It is inflammation in the ear. So we see again, anger can be connected with sickness. Or just imagine, a lady goes through blood circulation problem every month. She gets irritable with hot flushes and everyone in the house notices that. That anger in her is due to her sickness. Or a workaholic businessman wakes up in the morning with grumpy mood. Family know morning is not a good time to talk to him. He doesn’t calm down until he takes a strong cup of coffee. Why he feels so angry? It is because he has liver problem and can’t sleep well, and wakes up un-refreshed and angry. This anger has connection with sickness as well. Or someone suffers from irritable bowel problems. Frequent diarrhoea and weight loss, not enough sleep, not enough rest with few young children to look after. Imagine the picture; it is a recipe for anger. Little things frustrate that person and feels very angry. Or you find a child, very angry, very cruel and gets into fights at school. You may wonder where that anger or rage is coming from. Often some young people become mass killers because they have pent up anger inside them. One of the reasons is that they are mentally and emotionally sick. May be due to molestation, abuse, oppression and so on in their life, they have developed tremendous anger inside them. When they burst out, they bring their anger out in a violent manner. So we must understand that anger can be a part of sickness. It can be within us or within others. If we understand our anger during our sickness then we can take necessary steps to cure it. If we understand about other’s sickness and anger then we can react to them without anger. Many of us do not think seriously that we feel angry because of our sickness. Many of us think anger is a bad thing. We don’t discuss about it with others, we do not share our problems with others, and we do not take help like medicine or counselling for our anger. We keep it in ourselves, we do lots of supplications but sometimes it doesn’t work. Why supplication doesn’t work? May be the anger has become part of our pathology, or some kind of chemical imbalance is permanent is us that need medication to undo. What can we do in that case? What is the teaching of Islam about anger in sickness? How can we control our anger that is pathological, sickness related?

Sickness is blessing; why should we feel angry? Islamic teaching is wonderful. It informs us the wisdom behind sickness. Once we know it and believe it firmly, our mind releases the fear or anxiety about the loss and suffering from sickness. This information rather gives us the benefits of sickness in the long run. That positive thinking removes our frustration and anger. So we should control our anger during sickness with positive thinking and Islamic teachings offers positive results of sickness.

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Why should we feel angry with our sickness if we really believe how much blessing sickness bring for us? Few blessings are as following:

1. Allah tests the believers by sickness: When we take our every sickness as a test from Allah, we then make conscious effort to win the test. We get motivated by it to be more patient or to be more in control. Anger is a result of dis-satisfied mind but a mind ready for Allah’s test is satisfied. That’s the secret of why we should not feel angry with sickness. We shall feel discomfort for sure but we should look forward to enormous rewards from merciful Allah. Let us look at a beautiful Hadis:

2. Allah removes the sins: This is another great motivation why we should not feel angry with

sickness. Our suffering is a cleansing process of our sins. We find this fact in following Hadis:

3. Sickness brings everlasting safety for Muslims: What a true believer has to lose through

sickness? Nothing actually. That’s why they need to show patience, emotional control, positive attitude when they are sick. Islamic teaching prepares a Muslims mind to handle difficulties with a happy feeling, to battle against anger and frustration with a content heart. Let us look at a Hadis below:

4. Giving care to the sick brings Paradise for us: Again, why should we feel angry when we look

after a sick one? Only ignorant people feel burdened, irritable and angry about nurturing sick people. Islamic teaching again informs us the great benefit in taking care of the sick one. If we firmly believe in it, then instead of feeling angry we should feel fortunate. A beautiful Hadis below:

Hazrat Anas (R.A) said, Holy Prophet (S.A.W) said: Big reward comes through big danger. When Allah loves a group of people, tests them with danger. So whoever feels happy with that test receives Allah’s pleasure. And whoever is unhappy with that test receives Allah’s displeasure.” [Tirmidi, Ibn Maza]

Hazrat Abu Huraira and Hazrat Abu Sayeed Khudri (R.A) narrated that Holy Prophet (S.A.W) said: There is no danger, sickness, worry, suffering or sadness, even a thorn that pinch in Muslims body, by which Allah does not forgive sins.” [Muatta]

Hazrat Abu Huraira (R.A) narrates, Holy Prophet (S.A.W) said: Whoever died in sickness, he died as a martyr, he will be saved from punishment in grave and will be given sustenance from Paradise every morning and afternoon. [Ibn Maza and Baihaqi Shua’bul Imaan]

Hazrat Ali (R.A) said, “I heard holy Prophet (S.A.W) saying: When a Muslim goes to take care/visit another sick Muslim in the morning, 70,000 angels supplicate for him/her until evening. If a Muslim goes to take care/visit another sick Muslim in the evening, 70,000 angels supplicate for him/her until morning. Besides, a garden is made for those caregivers in Paradise.” [Tirmidi, Abu Dawood]

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5. Sickness in Muslims is not due to Allah’s anger: Sickness in Muslim is not Allah’s anger on them rather it is Allah’s mercy on them or a test on them. Allah is very kind on His servants. This is the clear cut teaching of Islam. So why we should feel frustrated and angry with sickness? Suppose we want to dedicate our lives for Allah but can’t do it due to sickness. Should we feel frustrated or angry about it? No! Not at all.

Look at Quranic verse to see Allah’s principle toward sick Muslims in terms of holy war!

Look again at Quranic verse for sick Muslims in terms of their obligatory Fasting!

When people are sick, they feel down and look for someone to put the blame. They fear for pain, suffering, loss of enjoyment or even loss of life. That frustrates people and they feel angry. Islamic teaching offers medicine for those negative feelings. Mankind should follow it for a happy state of mind and healthy state of emotion.

Medicine for anger in sickness Can we take any medicine for anger with sickness? What is the Islamic teaching about it? What should we do when a sick child kicks and bites others due to anger? What is best way we can help a person who received a head injury and since then he throws anger or temper tantrums? The answer is, Allah (S.A.W) created sickness as well as medicine to cure that sickness. That medicine could be divine prayer or chemical-natural medicines. The earth is full of ingredients with healing capacity. Allah created all those ingredients along with talent in human to find them and use them.

Allah has provided cure for every illness. Look at this hadis below:

For cure, appropriate medicine is required. Allah knows the best suitable medicine for any specific disease. Another Hadis:

Did Allah’s messenger advise his companion to take medicine? Let us find the answer from the following hadis:

Al Quran 48.17: “No blame or sin is there on the blind, nor is the blame on the lame, nor on one ill.”

Al Quran 2.184: “But if any of you is ill or on a journey, the same number (should be made up) from other days.”(When they are not sick)

Al Quran 26.80: “And when I am ill, it is Allah Who cures me.”

Hazrat Abu Huraira (R.A) narrated that Holy Prophet (S.A.W) said: Allah has not send down a disease except that He has also sent down its cure.” [Bhukhari]

Hazrat Jaber (R.A) narrated that Holy Prophet (S.A.W) said: There is medicine for every disease. So when the right medicine is used, then by the will of Allah the sick person become sick-free. [Muslim]

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Our question was, can we take medicine for anger with sickness. Above evidence tells us that we should take medicine if necessary. Holy Prophet (S.A.W) used medicine for him, for his family and for his companions. Human do not know all the medicines with their limited knowledge. Allah knows best. That’s why the wisest step is to pray to Allah first for cure and guidance before we try medications. If Allah grants cure then medicine will work otherwise no medicine has power to cure us. So the greatest lesson here is that we must try both supplication to Allah and medicine.

Is anger itself a sickness? All anger is not sickness. Anger is a healthy emotional response. But when anger is excessive, out of control, too frequent, boiling the person inside preventing appropriate thoughts and actions----------then that anger is sickness. That excessive anger is part of the permanent disturbance in the vital force of that person. The person is stuck with it and it should be treated as a sickness. A healthy person should be able to control his/her anger and can use anger towards a rational way to achieve positive outcome. When the person is unable to control his/her anger and is driven by the anger rather than mind, then it is considered sickness in Homeopathic philosophy. If a person loses chemical balance in his/her system and loses the ability of controlling anger then a medicine should help to bring back the chemical balance in that person, InshaAllah. With my experience in Homeopathy, I can share few high lights for the benefit of the readers InshaAllah.

How homeopathy treats anger problem? Homeopathy is a holistic approach. It aims to treat the whole person. So it brings all the factors into consideration such as mental, emotional and physical disturbances. When someone shows anger as a prominent symptom, a classical Homeopath looks at that anger in two main ways. (1) Anger associated with acute sickness or (2) Anger without any other prominent disturbance. Let me elaborate a bit: First: Anger with acute sickness.

For example, a person develops high fever and gets into a delirium stage. He sees unreal things. He may see every person near him is trying to kill him. That makes him suspicious, mad and he attacks them with rage. Some people in mental institutions have uncontrollable anger and rage because in their mind they have wrong perceptions about the reality. That wrong perception may even develop after a trauma like a head injury through accident or babies through traumatic birth etc. That kind of anger with acute sickness is easier to treat. A right remedy works to eliminate the sickness and the anger also calms down with it.

Second: Anger without acute sickness.

This is an angry persona. They may have short fuse and they blow up quickly. It is also a kind of sickness. Something has made this person an “Angry person”. Treating this kind of anger is difficult.

Hazrat Usama Ibn Shareek (R.A) narrated, he said, companions asked, “O Messenger of Allah! Shall we use medicine?” He said: “Yes! O servants of Allah! Take medicine, Because Allah has not created any disease without its cure except ageing.” [Ahmed, Tirmidi, Abu Dawood]

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A classical Homeopath has to go through investigation to know the past history of the person. Even if proper clue is not found in patient’s life history, homeopath has to investigate the disposition of mother during her pregnancy or father’s mental emotional traits to establish a cause for that anger. Behind every episode of anger there are psychological reasons that make the person angry. That’s why a classical homeopath asks questions to find the feeling behind the anger. Such as:

1. What makes you angry?

Why this question? Every individual has sensitivity around something. Every person feels angry with something due to that sensitivity. The truth is, we all have different sensitivity. For example: A person may feel angry if the room is unclean, another person may not. People may feel angry when they are criticised, or when they are accused wrongly, or when they are contradicted, or when they face rudeness, or when they see injustice etc. A classical homeopath lists that sensitivity. 2. What is your feeling behind your anger?

Every episode of anger has a feeling behind it. You can ask yourself that question too. Why am I angry? What do I feel? For example, a girl has no other sickness except anger tantrum. When she gets angry she throws things at others, rolls on floor, become hysterical and goes insane. Family says that she can’t control herself. A classical homeopath would ask her until he finds her feeling behind her anger. The feeling can be too many. It could be some kind of fear, or anxiety or strong emotional mixed feeling. 3. How do you express your anger?

Expression shows the severity of anger as well as the severity of feeling. One may sit alone with anger. Another person may shout with anger. Some persons may hit their wives or children with anger. Other person may cut themselves with knife during anger or some even become so destructive with their anger that they contemplate to commit suicide. The degree of severity indicates certain remedy. Sometimes, in case of children or insane patients, family observe their angry expression and pass it to homeopaths. Homeopathy treats the person holistically. Once the balance is in place in the angry person, it changes the feeling or perception in the person that used to make him/her angry. As a result the same person does not feel sensitive with issues like before or doesn’t feel as he used to feel before. So whole feeling behind anger shifts which results no anger. Subhanallah!

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Part Seven: Perfect example in anger control

Holy Prophet: A heart did not boil with anger How does a heart boil with anger? Or how do we know it is not boiling with anger? How can we see a heart? How can we look into a heart to find out whether it is boiling with anger or not? The answer is: We see other’s hearts through some windows. Eyes, nose, face, tongue are little windows for a heart. If the heart is boiling with anger, then the heat of fire comes out through these windows. Such as: the eyes will give ferocious look, the nose will swell like an explosive, the face will be red with hardness and the tongue will fire at others with mean words that will hurt other people. Even though heart is a secret inside our body and its actions are not secret at all. Our hearts has windows to express its feelings. An angry heart has no peace in it. It is burning inside and it releases fiery actions to other people around it. An angry heart makes the person hard hearted, jealous, envious, full of hatred, revengeful, rude mannered, abusive, violent and so on. If we know an angry, grumpy person, do we feel happy around them? No! We do not. Why? It is because they are not friendly and they are not pleasant. So we prefer to leave them alone, don’t we? On the other hand, a non angry heart doesn’t burn inside and does not release fire on others. That heart is filled with peace, happiness, softness, kindness, generosity, sympathy, love, care, forgiveness and so on. It makes the person smiley, lovely, gentle and magnetic. People around them find them friendly and people love to be with them. With these simple examples, now look at the personality of Holy Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W)! What was his character? What was his gesture? What was his personality? Was he a loving person? Why people used to love him too much? Was it an angry heart to win his enemies? What kind of heart he had that forgave his enemies who attempted to kill him? What charisma he had to attract people around him who even loved to give up their lives for him? Now try to look at our Prophet’s heart through his noble actions. Can you see it? I am sure we all can see that. He had a non-angry heart. That’s why he was a loving, a forgiving, a kind, a gentle and a friendly person. Children, young, adult, old, male or female whoever came to his touch, they got stuck with him as if they were glued with him. No one left him because he was never unpleasant to be with. Holy Quran echoes the same truth:

Holy Prophet: Example of non-angry, non-violent persona Mankind need examples. They need models. Then they find easier to follow. Then they can see how a human can be practically a non angry and non violent. There are plenty examples around ill tempered people. Mankind have seen angry tyrants and how they oppress other humans.

Al Quran 3.159: “It is (in part) by the mercy of Allah that you dealt gently with them. If you were severe or harsh-hearted, they would have broken away from about you: So overlook (Their faults by pardoning them), and ask for (Allah’s) Forgiveness for them.”

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But if mankind want to see one example of non-angry and non-violent personality in ALL different stages of life such as a child, as an orphan, as a young, as an employee, as a businessman, as social leader, as a learner, as a husband, as a father, as a relative, as a soldier, as a army general, as an oppressed, as a ruler, as a poor, as a rich or as a prophet and so on-----------then they must look at one single example and he is the messenger of Allah, Muhammad (S.A.W). Allah made him a perfect model

He was not a hot tempered person. He was never a violent person. He was never an abusive person. He never cursed others. He never was hot headed. He had a balanced mind and emotion. His actions always displayed his balanced state of emotion. He had all the positive manners that a non-angry heart can produce. His disposition was very calm, pleasant and peaceful. He was always constructive, never destructive. He won peoples heart not by anger or violence but by love and forgiveness. Whoever was around him, found him sweet and lovely.

People who served holy prophet gave witness about his non-angry sweet personality. Usually people get angry with their sub ordinates because they are weak and weak can’t retaliate. But Holy Prophet (S.A.W) was exceptional. He was not angry with people who served him. He was affectionate, loving and caring natured with his servants. Let us see what his servant Hazrat Anas (R.A) had to say about his disposition:

What about the testimony from his family? Usually, family know a family member very well. Why? It is because a person can not hide anger or violence from other members of the family. The family of holy prophet (S.A.W) never found him angry or abusive, cursing out of anger or beating someone out of anger, or any kind of violent outburst. Let us look at a testimony from his beloved wife, honourable Ayesha (R.A):

Al Quran 33.21: “In the messenger of Allah (Muhammad saw), you have a beautiful (pattern of conduct) and example for one whose hope is in Allah and the Final day, and who Praises Allah much.”

Hazrat Anas (R.A) said, I joined in the service of Muhammad (S.A.W) since I was ten years old and I served him for ten years. If I had broken anything he never told me off. If any family member told me off, he used to say, “Leave him, what meant to happen had happen.” [Mishqat, hadis no 5571]

Ayesha (R.A) said, Holy prophet (S.A.W) never beat anyone with his own hand except holy war [That was forced upon him and he had to defend the peace and fairness]. He never had beaten his wives or servants. If he got hurt by others physically or emotionally, he never took any revenge.” [Muslim]

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Holy Prophet: Anger with control

Anger can be mainly two types: (1) Anger with control and (2) Anger without control. Anger with control is good if it is necessary. Feeling angry towards unfairness, injustices, exploitations, corruptions, human rights violations and so on is good as long as it is under control. What is under control? It means, anger is handled or managed with wisdom according to the divine guidance. If one controls anger with divine guidance, he finds motivation from that anger to achieve positive things for himself and for others.

Suppose, if someone uses anger to stop a killer from killing innocent souls, then that anger is considered as worship. But that anger has to be controlled within the divine rules. If anger gives courage to someone to speak against a tyrant to establish human rights, then that anger brings rewards from Allah as well as peace and happiness for oppressed people. But the condition again, that anger has to be controlled, healthy and balanced opposed to madness and out of control.

Holy Prophet (S.A.W) was the example of that balanced, healthy anger with control. He never felt overwhelming anger nor did he act insane with his anger. He used to feel angry towards the wrong things but he was not driven by anger. He used to show his mild anger to deliver a teaching. His anger was never to take revenge, or destroy the opponents but always to defend the rights and to deliver right lesson. Let us look at an example of his anger:

Holy Prophet: Nature of his anger from above Hadis

What do we learn about Holy Prophets anger from above Hadis? What this Hadis teaches us about controlled anger? We can highlight a few points from the above hadis, such as:

The aim of that anger was noble. It was to give a lesson to his companion about the enemy Satan.

Hazrat Abu Huraira (R.A) narrated, a man scolded Abu Bakr (R.A). Meanwhile Holy Prophet (S.A.W) was sitting there and was smiling surprisingly. When the man was scolding more to Abu Bakr (R.A), he (Abu Bakr) told the man off. That made Holy Prophet angry and he left Abu Bakr angrily. Abu Bakr went after Holy Prophet and asked, “O Messenger of Allah! When that man was scolding me, you were sitting there (Smiling). But when I replied, why did you leave angrily?” Holy Prophet (S.A.W) said: An angel was with you (As long as the man was scolding you) and the angel was replying him (On your behalf). But when you started replying him, Satan came in between you and him [To encourage anger and fight, and the angel left you]. Then Holy Prophet (S.A.W) added: O Abu Bakr! There are 3 things very true. (1) If a servant of Allah receives oppression but he/she doesn’t protest for the pleasure of Allah, Allah increases honour for that servant and Allah helps that servant. (2) If a person opens the door of help for helping his/her relatives, Allah increases his/her wealth. (3) Whoever opens the door of begging and with it wishes to increase wealth, then Allah decreases his/wealth for the begging [AHMED]

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The anger was associated with righteous feelings such as sympathy toward Abu Bakr. The anger was not associated with any negative traits. He (S.A.W) did not have a malicious heart.

He did not shout, abuse or fight. He did not do anything cruel. His anger was a mild dis-satisfaction but very peaceful. He did not offend Abu Bakr. He left Abu

Bakr peacefully. It was a wise move to win Abu Bakr’s heart for learning. It worked and Abu Bakr followed Holy Prophet to learn the reason.

His anger was controlled, non violent, not with rage or tantrum. He did not lose his calmness, gentleness or wisdom with it. That was a perfect example of controlled anger with best aim, with best expression and without any harmful feelings or actions. His anger did not do any harm to anyone rather it brought a good outcome.

We can see even holy prophet’s anger was a blessing for mankind. Surely, he was a blessing as Allah (S.W.T) says about His beloved Prophet in Holy Quran

Holy Prophet (S.A.W) came to give only positive example to the mankind, not the negative. Mankind should learn from his positive teachings

May Allah bestow peace and blessings upon His beloved Prophet Muhammad! Ameen!

Al Quran 21-107: “And we did not send you (O Prophet), except as mercy to all mankind.”

Al Quran 7.157: “For he (the prophet) commands them what is just and forbids them what

is evil; He allows them as lawful what is good (and pure) and prohibits them from what is

bad (and impure);

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Part Eight: Islam calls for anger control

Anger control or anger elimination? What exactly Islam teaches? Does it tell us to remove anger completely from our system? Or does it advise us to numb our angry feeling completely? Or is eliminating anger a natural thing? Or do we want extreme paralyzed emotional plane? No! That is not the teaching of Islam. Islam is a religion of balance because it has come from Almighty creator who knows the exact, balanced and healthy emotional need for mankind. Therefore anger is a need for our emotional balance, Allah (S.W.T) never commands mankind to uproot their anger but He commands to control our anger. Allah says in the Holy Quran:

Needless to say, there must be good reasons why anger control is healthier than anger elimination. Also it must be a fact that anger has lots of benefit as long as we use it in a controlled way. May be we should go through few benefits of “controlled anger” below: It gives us power to oppose oppression: A child who gets beating from his parents may use the anger to stand defiantly and take the beating. Similarly, a righteous person may feel angry against corruption at work. It may cost his job but his anger will give him power to take suffering yet not surrender to it. Anger gives us motivation to achieve: A young man applied for a secretary job with all right qualification and experience but due to discrimination he was not given the job. That makes him angry and he decides to prove himself. His anger motivates him to study further and become somebody great. He does that and becomes a scientist. What made him achieve greater things in life? It was his anger directed in a positive way. Another young man went to the stage for delivering a speech but he forgot what to say. Everyone laughed at him and cursed him and said to him that he should never ever come to the stage again. He felt humiliated and angry with himself. But he made promise in his mind, and that was, “One day I shall make myself a great speaker and all my critics today will cheer me up.” He never forgot his promise. His anger motivated him to practise and practise and surely one day he became a great speaker. If anger motivates a person to achieve better thing then it has to be good. Anger gives power to stand against injustices: What makes people courageous? What encourages people to take life risk and speak up against injustices? It is anger. Throughout the history we see people give lives to remove tyrants. Often people have to fight for peace which is not easy. It requires constant motivation, power and passion to fight for justice no matter how hard it is or how much sacrifice one has to make. Anger motivates people to do that. Anger is good for teaching discipline: Just imagine if teachers do not feel angry about naughty children! Or parents never feel angry about the misbehaviour of children! Then what world shall we live in? Will there be any discipline? Will there be a good, happy and crimeless society? No! They

Al Quran 3.134: “Who controls anger and pardon (all) man: Verily Allah loves those who do good.”

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would not learn good lessons. They will grow wild, will be destructive and immoral. That is another reason why anger is necessary but within control. Anger motivates teachers or parents or societies to discipline and taking actions against criminal actions. All these benefits of anger make us think about Islam. It must be a religion of moderation and balance. That’s why it doesn’t teach to eliminate anger but it calls for the control of anger. It is the true religion that offers right teachings about anger control. Almighty Allah says in Holy Quran:

Islam and anger

control: The best recipe

What is Islam? Is it a religion with few rituals? No! It is not. Islam is a complete code of life. It addresses every need of mankind whether it is mental, emotional or physical. It is a complete and perfect recipe for human happiness and progress. Allah (S.W.T) blessed mankind with a complete and perfect code of life: Allah says in Holy Quran

The next question is why Islam and anger control is the best recipe? The answer is that the reasons

are many. I would like to mention a few here for the benefit of the wise readers.

1. Islam is from the Almighty creator: Islamic teaching about anger control is not man made.

Human knowledge can never master the full depth of human emotions. As a result human

endeavour is never perfect. On the other hand Almighty creator gives a perfect anger

management plan for His creations. So there is no match between the two. That is why Islamic

guidance about anger control is the best recipe. Al-Quran 5.3

Al Quran 5.3: “This day I perfected your religion for you, completed My favour upon you, and have

chosen Islam as your religion for you.”

2. Islam informs beyond human knowledge: Information about Satan or influence of Satan in

human anger does not come from human knowledge. It comes from divine Islamic

knowledge. No human knows about Satan. Man made powerful radar can not even detect

Satan nor can most sophisticated camera spot this enemy.

Al Quran 3.19: “The (True) Religion with Allah is Islam (Submission to His will).”

Al Quran 5.3: “This day I perfected your religion for you, completed My favour upon you, and

have chosen Islam as your religion for you.”

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In that case, without the information of Satan and the protection from Satan, man made anger

control therapy is incomplete anyway. Human knowledge is helpless here against Satan. The fact

is that Satan is one of the big parts in anger. So how can we control anger if we do not have the

weapon to drive Satan away?

Alhamdulillah! Here Islam comes with complete recipe. Islam informs us the entire secret about

our worst enemy.

Besides, Islam teaches mankind how can they save themselves from the Satanic attacks. Islam teaches the protection from satanic attack comes only one way. What is the way? Is it to fight Satan with a knife? No! The only way is “Seeking refuge in Allah” because Satan is afraid of Allah, not afraid of human. According to a Hadis as following:

Merciful Allah also gives us remedy against Satan in the Holy Quran: Al Quran 7:201: “If a suggestion from Satan attacks your (mind), find (your) shelter with Allah; Verily, Allah hears and knows (all things)”

3. Islamic teaching includes everlasting benefits: Human knowledge sees the pros and cons of anger only in this life. They do not know about next life and they do not know what the consequences of anger are in the everlasting life. In that regard Islamic teaching is complete and farsighted. Islam explains about results of controlled anger in the Day of Judgment or in the Paradise for example.

But man made anger management course never goes that far. It only considers immediate things around human life only. That is why Islamic teaching offers best motivation when it promises rewards in paradise or the rewards of anger control in the Day of Judgment. Let us look at a Hadis below:

What a reward in the Day of Judgment! When Allah will Judge us in there, He will look at our record. If we forgive other’s mistakes frequently when we are angry for Allah’s sake, then in the Day of Judgment Allah will not be angry with our mistakes. Allah will also forgive us. What a motivation! Alhamdulillah!

Al Quran 36.60: “Did I not command you? O! Children of Adam! That you should not worship Satan, Verily, he is to you an open enemy.”

Abu Jar (R.A) said, holy prophet (S.A.W) said to me: “O Abu jar! Seek refuge in Allah from man and jinn Satan.” I said, “Is there Satan among man as well?” He (S.A.W) said, “Yes.”

Hazrat Anas (R.A) narrated, Holy Prophet (S.A.W) said: “Whoever controls his/her anger, Allah (S.W.T) will remove His anger from him/her in the Day of Judgment.” [Mishqat]

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4. Islam gives right and wrong boundary for anger: What exactly is right, fair and just? And

what exactly is wrong, unfair and unjust? We got to be sure on this before we say, “It is allowed to use anger against unfair.” Human definition of fair and unfair is not the same in different beliefs or cultures. So it is confusing. For example, Pharaoh and his counsel were angry against Prophet Musa (A.S) as they thought Musa was creating problem in the land. That made them to think that it was fair to kill the Muslim baby boys.

If we leave it with human to define what is fair and unfair, then everyone will choose what suits them. It will never give a neutral, unbiased definition. That is why mankind should follow the definition of fairness and unfairness from the Almighty creator who is above from all biasness and emotional weaknesses. That is what Islam does offer. It offers a boundary of fair and unfair from Allah (S.W. T). Now, with divine Islamic guidelines, if anyone follows anger control system, will never go wrong. But with limited human knowledge based on guess can go wrong anytime. Allah (S.W.T) warns mankind in Holy Quran

The End

Al Quran 18.103: Say, “Shall We tell you of the greatest losers because of their deeds?” “Those whose actions were wasted in this life, while they thought that they were acquiring good by their works?”