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NewsJack Week #5 - Submission #1
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Ben Broughton Widdy Panto Sketch [email protected]
MILES: When you think pantomime, you think men in frocks trying to
pass themselves off as women. When you think men in frocks
trying to pass themselves off as women you think Ann
Widdecombe. So how strange is it that they should come
together to form the most unlikely coalition since, well, the
coalition? At Newsjack there’s our Arts Correspondent; Pierre
La Bombabottom, who was lucky enough to attendant an
extremely early preview of Widdy in pantomime, so Pierre, how
was it?
PIERRE: It’s a panto, Miles. What do you expect me to say about it?
MILES: It’s not just any panto; this panto features Ann Widdecombe, a
former member of parliament.
PIERRE: And that’s exciting? Trust me, Miles, by the looks of things, in
six months pantos will be filled with former MPs. Lembit Öpik is
bound to do one, I bet Blair would too - if the money was right.
MILES: What role does Widdy play in the panto?
PIERRE: Ann plays the wicked sidekick; Widdy In Waiting, a character
that aims to inflict suffering on the downtrodden.
MILES: Strangely passed over to star as an ugly sister, and how was
her performance?
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Ben Broughton Widdy Panto Sketch [email protected]
PIERRE: Well, because she’s had the past thirteen years in waiting as a
villainous minion I thought she’d be able to bring that aspect of
her life to the role. But she didn’t.
MILES: Was her performance not believable?
PIERRE: Put it this way, if I was Ann, then her performance would be
climate change.
MILES: I don’t understand.
PIERRE: She is stoutly against climate change, Miles. Don’t you
research your Conservative MPs?
MILES: Only the individuals that are likely to head up the Tory party
one day; David Davies, George Osborne and Nick Clegg.
PIERRE: No need to worry about researching her now then Miles, as
with this panto her political career is firmly behind her.
MILES: I’m sorry Pierre, where is it?
PIERRE: It’s behind her.
MILES: Once again?
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Ben Broughton Widdy Panto Sketch [email protected]
PIERRE: It’s behind her.
MILES: And do you see a blossoming career on stage for Widdy?
PIERRE: I’m sure Ann Widdecombe could go on to work on stage,
there’s always a need for Bingo callers.
MILES: So it’s unlikely to see Widdy in Danny Boyle’s next theatre
production?
PIERRE: While I feel she may have the physical capabilities to pull off
such a feat, she does not yet posses the performance abilities.
MILES: Thanks to Pierre La Bombabottom, and if you are interested in
seeing the pantomime we’ve just discussed, be sure to seek
medical help.
END
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