1
GRADE BOOSTER PART SIX OTHELLO 99 Below are extracts from two sample answers to the same question at different grades. Bear in mind that these are examples only, covering all four Assessment Objectives – you will need to check the type of question and the weightings given for each AO when writing your coursework essay or preparing for your exam. ANNOTATED SAMPLE ANSWERS Question: To what extent is the corruption of human nature central to Othello? PART SIX GRADE BOOSTER 98 OTHELLO C ANDIDATE 1 The corruption of human nature is important in “Othello”. The most important example of corruption is Iago’s poisoning of Othello’s mind. This happens in Cyprus, when Iago makes Othello believe that Desdemona is unfaithful to him. Iago corrupts Othello by using the handkerchief as proof that Desdemona has slept with Cassio. He makes Othello believe that Desdemona gave Cassio the handkerchief as a love token, when really she dropped it by mistake, and Emilia passed it on to Iago. The handkerchief, which is a symbol of Desdemona’s honour, becomes a symbol of evil. When he believes Desdemona has given it away, Othello thinks his wife has been corrupted. This leads Othello to destroy Desdemona to regain his own honour. When his mind is corrupted, Othello is different. In Acts I and II he was a noble character, who had faith in Desdemona and her love for him. Infected by Iago’s poison, Othello becomes jealous, and his jealousy makes him cruel. For example, Othello verbally abuses Desdemona as ‘that cunning whore of Venice’ and strikes her in Act IV. When he uses crude language, Othello sounds like Iago. Othello’s fit is evidence that the hero has been corrupted. Othello cannot cope with his jealousy, and falls over in a trance. When Othello comes round, he says ‘a horned man’s a monster and beast’. Because he feels humiliated, Othello becomes obsessed with revenge. However, we know that Othello is not in control of himself in the second half of the play because Iago leads him throughout Acts IV and V. Because of this, the audience will not blame Othello for what he does. I pity Othello when he eavesdrops on Cassio and gets ready to kill Desdemona. Othello is very distressed in Act V Scene 2. I know this because he has second thoughts about killing Desdemona. Othello believes that his wife’s death is a ‘sacrifice’ and after Desdemona is dead refers to himself as an ‘honourable murderer’. Some people might think Othello is making cowardly excuses. But other people will think that the ‘noble Moor’ has been ‘perplexed in the extreme’ by evil Iago. It is also important to consider Iago’s role. Iago enjoys corrupting others. Coleridge suggested Iago is ‘a being next to the devil’. Iago is a lone villain in “Othello”. The characters he corrupts reject him. Emilia shows he is a villain, Roderigo dies calling him an ‘inhuman dog’ and Cassio says Iago’s actions are ‘most heathenish and most gross’. Lodovico says that the bodies of “Othello”, Desdemona and Emilia are a ‘tragic loading’ which ‘poisons sight’. This final reference to poison shows the audience how destructive Iago’s corruption of Othello has been. I believe that although Iago’s corruption of Othello is important, Shakespeare has other points to make about human nature. In spite of the tragic ending, “Othello” is not just about defeat. Othello recognises he has been corrupted and makes up for it by killing himself. As the critic A. C. Bradley has suggested, Othello never falls completely. When he picks up his sword to commit suicide, I believe that Othello redeems himself and regains his nobility. Should try to avoid repetition of the same word; could say ‘is a central issue’ in the first sentence instead of ‘important’ Comment The material covered is relevant, and arguments make sense, but there is a tendency towards narrative description of events at times. Some helpful signposting, e.g. however, it is important to... Clear concluding paragraph which returns to the terms of the question. The candidate has a grasp of some aspects of structure e.g. how Othello’s characterisation changes from Act I to Act V. There are specific references to and appreciation of some aspects of language and imagery, e.g. symbolism of the handkerchief. There are some well chosen quotations and there is a grasp of different interpretations of Othello’s actions in Act V. Some apt references are made to critics. There is a strong sense of personal engagement at times. More could be made of Shakespeare’s cultural and historical context. For a B grade l Instead of describing events, focus on commenting on them consistently for AO1. l Make more detailed comments on language, structure or imagery for AO2. l Make further, more detailed references to critics and different interpretations for AO3. l Make references to Shakespeare’s context for AO4 e.g. Elizabethan attitudes to women/race/ the nature of evil. GRADE C AO1 Again, too vague to show understanding – what is meant by corruption? AO2 Has a grasp of Iago’s role and Othello’s characterisation AO2 Sound comment, but could offer more examples to illustrate the idea more fully AO2 ‘leads him’ is too vague – what exactly does it mean? AO1 Considers alternative audience responses to Othello, demonstrating an open-minded approach AO3 Needs textual evidence to support this claim AO2 Shows awareness of likely audience responses, but this is a sweeping statement. It needs to be qualified, e.g. ‘an audience might not blame Othello entirely...’ AO3 Needs to comment on this image more fully; becoming narrative AO2 Immediate focus on task and identification of key example, but could be more precise about the acts/ scenes being referred to AO2 Style could be more formal – this sounds like a spoken phrase AO1 Links handkerchief to the theme of corruption successfully; could make more of the theme of honour by relating it to Shakespeare’s historical context AO4 Clear reference to the correct act, but which scene does this occur in? Could be more precise about context AO4 Attempt at signposting – but does this sentence really follow on effectively from the last point in the previous paragraph? Why use ‘also’? AO1 First few sentences in this paragraph are rather general and need to be linked together more cohesively AO1 Asserts own viewpoint clearly throughout this paragraph and arrives at a sense of overview, incorporating a critic fruitfully AO3 Again, the style is a little bit too close to speech – and too vague AO1 Links corruption successfully to destruction and the tragic denouement, showing a grasp of structure AO2 Apt reference to a critic, but could link Iago’s evil to the context of the play more thoroughly, and also explain what Coleridge meant more fully AO4 AO4 AO1 AO2 AO3

ANNOTATED SAMPLE ANSWERS 4 - Pearson … SAMPLE ANSWERS Question: To what extent is the corruption of human nature central to Othello? PART SIX GRADE BOOSTER 98 OTHELLO CANDIDATE 1

Embed Size (px)

Citation preview

Page 1: ANNOTATED SAMPLE ANSWERS 4 - Pearson … SAMPLE ANSWERS Question: To what extent is the corruption of human nature central to Othello? PART SIX GRADE BOOSTER 98 OTHELLO CANDIDATE 1

GRADE BOOSTER PART SIX

OTHELLO 99

Below are extracts from two sample answers to the same question at different grades. Bearin mind that these are examples only, covering all four Assessment Objectives – you willneed to check the type of question and the weightings given for each AO when writingyour coursework essay or preparing for your exam.

ANNOTATED SAMPLE ANSWERS

Question: To what extent is the corruption of human nature central to Othello?

PART SIX GRADE BOOSTER

98 OTHELLO

CANDIDATE 1The corruption of human nature is important in “Othello”.The most important example of corruption is Iago’spoisoning of Othello’s mind. This happens in Cyprus,when Iago makes Othello believe that Desdemona isunfaithful to him. Iago corrupts Othello by using thehandkerchief as proof that Desdemona has slept withCassio. He makes Othello believe that Desdemona gaveCassio the handkerchief as a love token, when really shedropped it by mistake, and Emilia passed it on to Iago. Thehandkerchief, which is a symbol of Desdemona’s honour,becomes a symbol of evil. When he believes Desdemona hasgiven it away, Othello thinks his wife has been corrupted.This leads Othello to destroy Desdemona to regain his ownhonour.

When his mind is corrupted, Othello is different. In Acts Iand II he was a noble character, who had faith inDesdemona and her love for him. Infected by Iago’s poison,Othello becomes jealous, and his jealousy makes him cruel.For example, Othello verbally abuses Desdemona as ‘thatcunning whore of Venice’ and strikes her in Act IV. Whenhe uses crude language, Othello sounds like Iago. Othello’sfit is evidence that the hero has been corrupted. Othellocannot cope with his jealousy, and falls over in a trance.When Othello comes round, he says ‘a horned man’s amonster and beast’. Because he feels humiliated, Othellobecomes obsessed with revenge.

However, we know that Othello is not in control of himselfin the second half of the play because Iago leads himthroughout Acts IV and V. Because of this, the audiencewill not blame Othello for what he does. I pity Othello whenhe eavesdrops on Cassio and gets ready to kill Desdemona.Othello is very distressed in Act V Scene 2. I know thisbecause he has second thoughts about killing Desdemona.Othello believes that his wife’s death is a ‘sacrifice’ andafter Desdemona is dead refers to himself as an‘honourable murderer’. Some people might think Othello ismaking cowardly excuses. But other people will think thatthe ‘noble Moor’ has been ‘perplexed in the extreme’ by evilIago.

It is also important to consider Iago’s role. Iago enjoyscorrupting others. Coleridge suggested Iago is ‘a being nextto the devil’. Iago is a lone villain in “Othello”. Thecharacters he corrupts reject him. Emilia shows he is avillain, Roderigo dies calling him an ‘inhuman dog’ andCassio says Iago’s actions are ‘most heathenish and mostgross’. Lodovico says that the bodies of “Othello”, Desdemonaand Emilia are a ‘tragic loading’ which ‘poisons sight’.This final reference to poison shows the audience howdestructive Iago’s corruption of Othello has been.

I believe that although Iago’s corruption of Othello isimportant, Shakespeare has other points to make abouthuman nature. In spite of the tragic ending, “Othello” isnot just about defeat. Othello recognises he has beencorrupted and makes up for it by killing himself. As thecritic A. C. Bradley has suggested, Othello never fallscompletely. When he picks up his sword to commit suicide,I believe that Othello redeems himself and regains hisnobility.

Should try to avoidrepetition of the same

word; could say ‘is a centralissue’ in the first sentenceinstead of ‘important’

CommentThe material covered is relevant, andarguments make sense, but there is a tendencytowards narrative description of events attimes. Some helpful signposting, e.g. however,it is important to... Clear concluding paragraphwhich returns to the terms of the question.

The candidate has a grasp of some aspects ofstructure e.g. how Othello’s characterisationchanges from Act I to Act V. There are specificreferences to and appreciation of some aspectsof language and imagery, e.g. symbolism ofthe handkerchief.

There are some well chosen quotations andthere is a grasp of different interpretations ofOthello’s actions in Act V. Some apt referencesare made to critics. There is a strong sense ofpersonal engagement at times.

More could be made of Shakespeare’s culturaland historical context.

For a B gradel Instead of describing events, focus on

commenting on them consistently for AO1.

l Make more detailed comments on language,structure or imagery for AO2.

l Make further, more detailed references tocritics and different interpretations for AO3.

l Make references to Shakespeare’s context forAO4 e.g. Elizabethan attitudes to women/race/the nature of evil.

GRADE C

AO1

Again, too vague toshow understanding –

what is meant by corruption?

AO2

Has a grasp of Iago’s role and Othello’s

characterisation

AO2

Sound comment, butcould offer more examples

to illustrate the idea morefully

AO2

‘leads him’ is too vague –what exactly does it mean?

AO1

Considers alternativeaudience responses to

Othello, demonstrating anopen-minded approach

AO3 Needs textual evidenceto support this claim

AO2

Shows awareness of likelyaudience responses, butthis is a sweeping statement.It needs to be qualified, e.g.‘an audience might notblame Othello entirely...’

AO3

Needs to comment onthis image more fully;becoming narrative

AO2

Immediate focus on taskand identification of keyexample, but could be moreprecise about the acts/ scenesbeing referred to

AO2

Style could be moreformal – this sounds like aspoken phrase

AO1

Links handkerchief to thetheme of corruptionsuccessfully; could makemore of the theme of honourby relating it to Shakespeare’shistorical context

AO4

Clear reference to thecorrect act, but whichscene does this occur in?Could be more precise aboutcontext

AO4

Attempt at signposting –but does this sentence

really follow on effectively fromthe last point in the previousparagraph? Why use ‘also’?

AO1

First few sentences inthis paragraph are rather

general and need to be linkedtogether more cohesively

AO1

Asserts own viewpointclearly throughout this

paragraph and arrives at asense of overview,incorporating a critic fruitfully

AO3

Again, the style is a littlebit too close to speech –and too vague

AO1

Links corruptionsuccessfully todestruction and the tragicdenouement, showing agrasp of structure

AO2

Apt reference to a critic,but could link Iago’s evilto the context of the playmore thoroughly, and alsoexplain what Coleridge meantmore fully

AO4

AO4

AO1

AO2

AO3