ACESClub # 4434

Woodbridge

ToastmastersClub # 4864

Art of SpeakingClub # 6847

Jim Friend

ToastmastersClub # 739438

Wood B

CommunicatorsClub # 960992

In th is i ssue….

Bring to table in 2010 — p5

Greatest Scam — p11

What is more important — p13

District 83 | Division D | Vol 1 | Issue 1

Greetings for a Wonderful Greetings for a Wonderful Greetings for a Wonderful and Joyous 2010 and Joyous 2010 and Joyous 2010

New

slet

ter

Page 2

Greetings for a Happy and Healthy 2010.

Toastmasters International defines the role of an Area Governor as being responsible for the overall well being of all clubs that make up the Area. The official responsibilities also include providing support to the clubs, strengthening them by encouraging inter-club interaction, sharing of best practices, and solving issues specific to every club while

acting as a conduit facilitating two-way communication between the clubs and the District.

When I thought about accomplishing all that, an Area Newsletter came to mind almost immediately. That initial thought has brought to fruition what you now hold (electronically, if not physically) in your hands. It is the perfect culmination of an effort undertaken by a whole bunch of people united in one common purpose - To further the vision of Toastmasters by going beyond the regular club meeting. My heartfelt appreciation for all these folks – whether they provided articles, pictures or clarifications. I also applaud Kumar Kolaganti, Asst Area 43 Governor, Public Relations, for using his acute visual prowess to format and publish this newsletter. We are indeed very fortunate to be able to

tap his talent and energy.

George Corrado, Director of Toastmasters Leadership Institute for District 83 aptly says, “Toastmasters extends far beyond the four walls of your club.” He couldn‟t be more right. Expand your Toastmasters horizon and attend an Area Contest, a Division Contest, or a District Conference; volunteer for a Conference committee – the opportunities are

many and they are yours for the taking.

We have a dedicated team of District 83 officers in place to help you, including Division D Governor, Sarah Van Valkenburg, myself, and Kumar. There‟s also the Area 43 council comprising of all Club Presidents, VP-Education and VP-Membership. That is a lot of individuals, all coming together to ensure the success of every Area 43 club member.

Reach out to me or any of them for any and all help to accomplish your goals.

As a partner in your Toastmasters journey, I look forward to hearing not just your club/personal success stories but also the challenges that you face, so we can work to resolve them during the remaining six months of this year. Of the

following, I have no doubt in my mind:

District 83 has the clue,

To a Better version of You;

Area 43 shall unfurl,

A Better version of the World!

While I am no Tom Cruise, the title of this message borrowed from the movie „Jerry Maguire‟ sums up my sentiment

quite well: “Help Me Help You. Help Me Help You…”

Cheers,

Hitender Mittal, CC, ALB

Area 43 Governor (2009-10)

Help me Help you. Help me Help you.. From the desk of Area 43 Governor

Page 3

Dear Toastmasters,

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season! It is my pleasure to release the first Area 43 newsletter for 2009-10.

Congratulations to Toastmasters International for celebrating their 85th anniversary this year. The vision of Dr. Ralph Smedley 85 years ago has resulted in the most successful self help program for developing communication and leadership skills, with more than 250K+ members worldwide reaping its benefits.

This newsletter has something to whet everyone's appetite. There are updates from all clubs in Area 43, articles from your fellow Toastmasters on contemporary topics of common interest, as well as some of the key events captured via pictures that transpired during the first six months in our Area and the District 83. I hope you enjoy this edition and find it useful in gaining an awareness about other clubs in our Area as well as a sense of fellowship and camaraderie.

I thank our Division D governor for providing an inspirational opening note for the newsletter, along with a call to action to complete our unfinished goals in the second half of this year. I would also like to thank all the members who extended their support through contributions, suggestions and more. Special thanks to Hitender Mittal for driving me to publish this newsletter and for all his efforts in obtaining the content and the pictures. I welcome your valuable comments, and invite you to be a part of the future newsletters. Editorially yours,

Kumar Kolaganti, ACB, ALB

Asst. Area 43 Governor, Public Relations (2009-10)

Editor’s Note

Page 4

Happy New Year Area 43 and greetings from your Division D Governor. During the 2009 holiday season and all your year end celebrations, I‟m sure that you and yours enjoyed many reflections of your year, while looking forward to 2010. In your commitment to the Toastmaster‟s Program, reflections and forward projections are also a sentiment that is appropriate at this time of year. Because the Toastmaster‟s year begins on July 1, we are actually at the halfway point of this Toastmaster‟s term. We have 6 months left to achieve and focus on all the great goals that we set back in July. Take a look at your goals and review what you have accomplished as an individual member – did you give all the speeches you planned to in order to continue forward in your speech manuals? Did you serve in a variety of club meeting roles to continue completing your CL manual? Did you begin your HPL project, serve as a club mentor, sponsor a new club, help with a club or area contest or participate in many of the different things that Toastmaster‟s has to offer? If you didn‟t manage to make it happen, the good news is that it‟s not too late. In the remaining 6 months of this Toastmaster‟s year, don‟t forget to focus and harness whatever ambitions you have set for yourself. Don‟t forget to reflect, re-strategize and plan at this halfway point while you still have 6 entire months to make a mark in for your own development needs and to contribute to the goals of Area 43, Divison D, District 83 and the Toastmaster‟s Program. Should you have any questions or need any assistance, please do not hesitate to contact me directly, so that during the last half of this year you will have every opportunity to transform into a Better You and a

Better World.

Sarah Van Valkenburg, ACB, CL

Division D Governor (2009-10)

The Halfway Point A note from The Division D Governor

ADVERTISEMENT HEADING

2010

Spring Conference

2010

District 83

Spring Conference

at

RAMADA Conference Center

130 Route 10 West • East Hanover, New

Jersey 07936

Contact: Rochelle Joyner, DTM – Spring

Registration Chair (rjoyner@panynj.gov)

May 15/16

2010

Toastmasters International is celebrating its

85th anniversary this year. From its humble

beginnings in 1924, the organization has grown

into a worldwide network of nearly 250,000

members in more than 12,500 clubs in 106

countries.

Page 5

What do we bring to the TABLE in the year 2010?

Aspirations

Unfinished tasks of previous years

Expectations

Positive attitude

Enthusiasm

Each one of us has ASPIRATIONS all through our life. These become more intensified when a year passes by and another year comes by as we look forward for the best possibilities. It was well said by Samuel Johnson a writer, poet and critic of 17th century that “Our aspirations are our

possibilities.”

It is those unfinished TASKS that drive us to set our goals and fill our mind and heart with lots of EXPECTATIONS to accomplish. It is said that “High achievement always takes place in the framework of high expectation.” This is why it is so important that we hold ourselves responsible to a higher standard than anybody else expects of us. It is our mindset that will roll our attitudes. And the key to success is „POSITIVE ATTITUDE’ - asking how something can be done rather than saying it can‟t

be done.

Positive attitude changes our way of life with more energy, more happiness and more ENTHUSIASM. We experience in our daily lives that nothing great

was ever achieved without enthusiasm.

Let us have a great start not with promises and hopes, but with a solid plan for a HEALTHY, WEALTHY and PROSPEROUS FUTURE. Start by setting meaningful and worthwhile goals. Remember – it is better to have a good plan today

than a perfect plan tomorrow.

What is it to be Healthy? In simple words by Marcus Valerius Martial “Life is not merely to be alive, but to be well.” To be healthy is not just a

New Year resolution, but an everyday resolution.

Wealth is not just possessing money, but how to save and spend money. In these financially uncertain contemporary times, an unknown writer summed it up very well when he said “A person who doesn’t know where his next dollar is coming from usually doesn’t know where his last dollar

went.”

The truth is -WEALTH is everyone‟s top priority to achieve as a goal every year. We have to realize it requires FINANCIAL PLANNING to fulfil our needs

and lead to a prosperous future.

The thoughts and experience of great and famous personalities are put together to inspire our lives. What more can be said than these simple words by

Benjamin Franklin,

“A penny saved is a penny earned.”

Let us save the best past memories and have an enthusiastic start with a SMILE. Les Giblin, a famous author of inspirational books says “If you are not using your smile, you are like someone with a million dollars in the bank and no check

book.”

Have a Happy Healthy, Wealthy and Prosperous

New Year!

Anu Dronadula

Art of Speaking

What do we bring to the TABLE in 2010?

If you are not using your smile, you are like

someone with a million dollars in the bank

and no check book

Page 6

Update on ACES – an Advanced Club

ACES pre - Xmas meeting: On Dec. 14th ACES held a White Elehant gift exchange. A wrapped gift was selected and then the TM related why this item, which the donor didn't want, was the

recipients greatest present

Following the White Elephant gift exchange we held a Table Topic session in which "Calories" was the Theme. The following were a few of

the statements the presented:

Cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of breakage causes

calorie leakage.

If you eat standing up, the calories all

go to your feet and get walked off.

Food eaten at Xmas parties has no

calories, courtesy of Santa.

Stressed is just desserts spelled

backwards

We had a fun filled evening. Wish you were there. Join us on Jan 25th for our next regular

meeting at the Iselin Library, at 6:45PM

Aces will be leading a Club Officer Training session at the Iselin library on Feb. 6, at 10:15 AM Contact Lee Abramson if you plan to attend and for which office. It's important to know who will be attending. Your cooperation will be

appreciated.

Lee Abramson,DTM,PDG,

President, ACES

Update on Jim Friend Toastmasters

Club

Early this year, we achieved a major milestone in our club history. We named our club in honor of a distinguished member and club mentor, Jim Friend. Over the course of many years Jim‟s positive disposition, overwhelming enthusiasm, and kindred spirit assisted the club in many ways. In honor of his memory and a tribute to his outstanding work, after his passing, our members decided to rename the Brooklynites Toastmasters club of Metuchen to Jim Friend

Toastmasters club.

We are a club of achievers. Our focus remains the same and in the spirit of Toastmasters – to become the speaker and leader we all want to be and more importantly achieve that exuberant confidence that at the end of the

day will make us a better person.

We are doing quite well and achieved several of the DCP goals. Since taking over as the president in the last couple of months, I have been working towards energizing the club membership. Very soon we may see 3 new members in our roster and along with the team I am planning for a membership drive to increase our membership. We want to achieve the distinguished status yet keep the club size

manageable to allow for individual growth.

One of our members, Tom Somers, just wrapped his Competent Communicator manual for the 4th time. That is an impressive 40

speeches!

Jim Friend Toastmasters is fortunate to have several senior members on its roster. Several of these members are DTM‟s and have embraced Jim Friend for their continued growth. These members will be guiding us as we reshape and

emerge energized in 2010.

Mahesh Harvu

President, Jim Friend Toastmasters The proposed presidential theme for the year 2010-2011

by Senior Vice President Pat Johnson is "Toastmasters:

Achieving Greatness Together." To help the broader

Toastmasters International organization reach its goal of

increased unity and brand awareness, please use this

theme during your club's PR and membership

campaigns.

Did You Know?

Page 7

Area 43/44 Fall 2009 Tall Tales and Table Topics Contest

Newsletter

Contest

District 83 has run three Club Newsletter

contests this year, and a fourth one is currently

underway. Prizes are awarded for "Most

Creative", "Most Inspirational", "Most

Informational", and "Best Layout" categories.

Your club VPPR should have received

information about this. Reach out if you need

help launching this endeavor for your club.

It is easier than you think!!

Contest

Contest Participants and Officials (L to R): Jaclyn Lee, Tony Lin, Jim Samuel, Khajan Gowda (Area 44 Governor), Tom Somers (District 83 LGET), Randi Sumner, Mark A. Vasquez, Sarah Van Valkenburg (Division

D Governor), June Pang, Saikat Maitra.

Page 8

The Turnaround: A Club’s Journey

Back to the Zenith

The 2008-09 Toastmasters year was a good one for

Woodbridge Toastmasters club. We finished the year

with a “President‟s Distinguished Club” award. It

was time to celebrate and revel in our moment of

glory. What came next, however, wasn‟t what we

had in mind or planned for – the „Attrition monster‟

reared its ugly head. Within a month, eight

dedicated and enthusiastic members had to leave

due to job or health-related reasons.

Soon we were short of people for filling up the

meeting roles, including speakers for the prepared

speeches. Ten minutes into the meeting, we would

still be scrambling to put a complete and workable

agenda in order. That is not a pretty picture when

there are Guests watching - wondering what is going

on and what they are in for. Needless to say, they

got a sense of the obvious.It was a catch twenty two

situation. Member attrition affected the quality of

our meetings which:

Affected our Guest-to-Member conversion ratio, and Affected the morale of existing members.

It was a problem that needed a quick and effective

solution. The club officers answered the call and

sprung into action. It was collectively decided to

launch a series of initiatives, starting with a

membership drive and an Open House. Club members

pitched in and spread the word by putting up posters

and pamphlets in the local libraries, e-mail

invitations to former Guests and personal invitations

to new prospects.

The objective was to make the Open House meeting

a success. The club invited ex-members, got

commitment from existing members and sought help

from the Area Governor. Accountability personified

itself when Lee Abramson came to deliver a

Successful Club Series speech at the meeting, while

his wife was recuperating at home from a recent

surgery. With everyone putting their best foot

forward, the Open House turned out to be an

interesting, informative and fun filled meeting.

There was just one catch – only three guests

showed up.

What went wrong?

I was expecting a Throng!

We did let them know,

Where did they all go?

Little did I resent,

„Coz it was an exciting event!

The meeting had non-stop action,

The members gleamed with Self

Satisfaction!

With three guest forms handed out

We went home, happy and proud!

Do you best, say hello, or just be

mellow,

Strive for excellence, Success will follow!

Though we had less than expected guests on

the Open House day, queries have been pouring

in since then. Some people saw the notice

later; some saw it but could not come that

evening; some heard about it for the first time

when they read the pamphlet or our poster

and weren‟t sure until a friend recommend it.

As a result, we have had guests visit our

meetings continuously and have even gained a

few new members. If you sow enough seeds the

crop will come.

If you are a Toastmaster reading this,

remember, no matter what, you are more

important to the club than you might think and

you have more within you than you might know.

What you and I do at each meeting from being

a timer to a Toastmaster, counts ! With how

much enthusiasm and sincerity we do, counts

even more than how well we performed .

Because, remember People don‟t join a

“club”, they join the people in the club. They

join you.

Smita Agarwal

President, Woodbridge Toastmasters

Page 9

Update from Wood B

Communicators

The Wood B Communicators formed about three years ago in late 2006. It has been a remarkable journey thus far and we look forward to more of the same. As a corporate-based club, one of the nice benefits has been a chance to interact with colleagues from different parts of the organization with whom we might not otherwise cross paths. Our club is modest in size with a very enthusiastic core. Besides learning to become better speakers, another rewarding facet of our club is what we learn about each other as individuals, whether it be heartaches or joyous moments in our respective lives. The club members are very supportive of each other; even when we give constructive feedback on our speeches, we search for the most positive way to do so. This makes for a very encouraging club and a wonderful way to spend our lunch hour twice a

month.

Ken Felsher, CC

VP, Public Relations, Wood B Communicators

Public Speaking - That's Not All It Is

Toastmasters is synonymous with public speaking. Afraid of standing up in front of an

audience?

Join Toastmasters. But we know as members, that leadership plays an important role within the Toastmasters arena. BUT even that is not the end of it.

I believe the underpinnings to improvement with speaking and leadership is confidence. Confidence in ourselves. The knowledge that we, as individuals, can accomplish any task put forth in front of us. Confidence is built in stages. Typically we tend to compare ourselves to others instead of comparing ourselves to, none other

than, OURSELF!

As the Toastmaster progresses through the communicator and leadership programs, they are building confidence in themselves one step at a time. So many people drop out of programs because they don't feel they can achieve the ultimate objective. But with Toastmasters, there is no time limit. Instead of taking giant steps towards achievement, the more realistic approach is to complete smaller steps within self defined timelines. So for 2010, I would urge everyone to continue on the road of achievement, building confidence in one self, one step at a time. As the famous inspirational writer, Matthew Kelly, has penned - "Be a Better Version of Yourself". Here's for a better 2010 and a better life towards building, a better world.

Happy New Year!

Fred Eng, CC

President, Art of Speaking

Getting folks to focus during the holidays and submit arti-

cles wasn't easy. Besides the usual coaxing and cajoling,

doggerel such as the one below helped provide the moti-

vation.

Did you know?

Give up the Dow,

At least for now;

Say No to the chips,

Take a break from the flicks;

Leave alone that cookie,

And get going, you rookie;

Let go of the wine and beer,

Unleash your inner Shakespeare;

Make a strong start,

So Picasso would say "Now that's Art!";

However, save your Thesis,

Just submit a Précis;

- Hitender Mittal, CC, ALB, Area 43 Governor

Page 10

Achieving the Competent Communicator award is the aspiration of most new Toastmasters members. Why would someone want to complete two, three or even four Competent Communicator awards? After finishing my forth Competent Communicator award, allow me to tell you my experience.

Back in 2005, just after I finished my first Competent Communicator, I was a little hesitant about starting a second. I wanted to work towards my Advanced Communicator Bronze, but that was going slow. The reason for the slow start was finding topics for my advanced manuals. I had many speech ideas, but couldn‟t use them because they didn‟t meet the objectives of Advanced Manual‟s speech topic. I remember one great speech idea I had about a gift I received from a family friend, but that didn‟t fit well with the “Speaking to Inform” or “Persuasive Speaking” manuals. Past District Governor Radhi Spear encouraged me to go after another Competent Communicator award. I did and the flood gates opened. All those speech ideas become speeches for my second Competent Communicator manual, because the projects allowed me to speak on most any topic. I spoke as a target speaker at evaluation contest. A club needed a speaker and I spoke for them. Before I knew it, I had another Competent Communicator award. I now always keep a Competent Communicator manual available, so that I can use it for any speech idea I come up with.

I was once told “Why do another Competent Communicator, work toward your Advanced Communicator, because you already achieved the Competent Communicator award.” Deep inside, I felt I could still improve on the projects in the basic manual. I remember presenting a speech on using

visual aids for my first Competent Communicator award. I made the mistake of running PowerPoint in automatic slide show mode, where the slides advanced automatically after a giving amount of time. During practice it worked perfectly, but not so well at the club. I got nervous, lost my place, spoke fast and the speech and slides were never in synch. Doing the project on Visual Aids a second time allowed me to use PowerPoint correctly and to manually advance slides when I was ready. I found that you could learn from all the projects in the Competent Communicator manual. Even for the Ice Breaker, I still get a little nervous speaking in front of a group of people,

especially when you speak about yourself?

I did some experimenting during my journey for a Fourth Competent Communicator award. I discovered that different groups react differently to the same speech. I gave a speech entitled “Have you ever done something you shouldn‟t have done?” The audience was slow to get interested. I then gave the same speech at another club, but with a different title named “A night at Self Storage.” The audience laughed at the title and was involved from the beginning which made presenting the speech much easier for me. Doing the speech a second time also allowed me to implement the

recommendations from my evaluator.

Hail to the Competent Communicator award. I encourage you to go after your second, third or how ever many you want to achieve. The benefits are plenty. You get to present those speech ideas you have been collecting. You get to practice and put to the test the ideas and recommendations from your evaluators. And finally, experiment, try new things and see how

the audience reacts.

Thomas Somers ACS/ALB

Lt. Gov. of Education and Training

Achieving another Competent Communicator Award

DID YOU KNOW?

All US clubs must file IRS form 990-N for any given year no later

than May 15 of the following year. Failure to file by the due

date could cause the club to lose their nonprofit tax exempt

status. Refer to the following webpage for detailed instructions

compiled by Toastmasters International on how to satisfy this

requirement: http://toastmasters.org/irs_990n.aspx.

Page 11

65 Billion Dollars! 65 Billion Dollars! That's how much money Bernie Madoff swindled out of his clients over the course of 40 plus years. His clients were the rich, famous and some of the largest charities and foundations in the world. How did he gain their trust? What can we learn from the

greatest swindler of our generation?

Social psychologist Robert Cialdini researched what makes us comply with a request and concluded there are six primary ways we are persuaded psychologically and emotionally. In his book, Influence: Science and Practice, he calls

them "principles of influence".

In order to understand the Madoff crime, let‟s look at how Bernie used three of these principles of

influence.

The first principle of influence used by Madoff

was: The Principle of Authority

People are easily influenced by what they perceive as legitimate authorities such as credentials, titles and expertise. How many of us have made a decision based on a title, appearance or possession someone has? There is a tendency for people to confuse symbols of authority with true substance. How did Bernie Madoff use this? He was the former Chairman of the NASDAQ stock exchange; he sat on the board of major charities and was the president of a money management firm. Madoff was a respected authority and used it to gain his victims credibility and trust.

The next principle of influence used by Madoff

was: The Principle of Social Proof

Steven Spielberg, Mort Zuckerman (owner of the Daily News and US News and World Reports), Fred Wilpon (NY Mets owner), major foundations, banks and charities. These were some of the investors who were duped into Wall Street's biggest Ponzi scheme. Would you have handed money over to Madoff after

he told you these were some of his clients? One of the most powerful weapons of influence is the consensus of others on which this principle of social proof is based. We look to others for direction about what choices to make, especially when we are uncertain. This principle is commonly used in affinity fraud where a specific group such as an ethnic or religions group is targeted with a scheme. When you show people what others similar to them are doing, they are likely to follow. Many prominent executives and organizations were influenced to invest with Madoff

because of this principle.

The last principle of influence used by Madoff was:

The Principle of Reciprocation

How many of you have repaid someone who has done something for you? It could be as simple as giving you advice or a gift. This is called reciprocation. We will repay others for what they have done for us. Businesses do this all the time with giveaways such as timeshare prizes. How did Bernie Madoff use this? He raised the most money and made the largest donation to the charities that eventually rewarded him with their investment portfolios. He gave clients the opportunity to be part of an exclusive list by invitation only. Would you feel obligated to give

something back after being rewarded with so much?

In addition to using these principles of influence, Madoff had a thorough understanding of human nature; especially how pride, vanity and greed

motivate people.

As you can see, these are some of the principles of

persuasion that Madoff used. Being aware of them can

help you understand if you‟re being influenced by

them and give you a better understanding of

how “The Greatest Scam ever sold” was executed.

Dirk French

Art of Speaking Club

The Greatest Scam Ever Sold

What we can learn from the Bernie Madoff scandal?

Page 12

Division D Fall 2009 Tall Tales and Table Topics Contest

Sarah Van Valkenburg, Division D Governor

Contest Winners (L to R): Sandra Graham Mason (Tall Tales, 1st place), John Weibel (Tall Tales, 2nd place), Chris Hansen (Table Topics 1st place), Isaak Gelbinovich (Table Topics 2nd place), Mark A. Vasquez (Table Topics

3rd place).

Contest Participants (L to R): Richard Cavanaugh, Mark Vasquez, Irina Dymarsky, Isaak Gelbinovich, June Pang, Chris Hansen, John Weibel, Randi Sumner

Page 13

As I was thinking of the holiday season, with everybody I meet greeting me “Happy Holidays”, I felt very

happy and the last thing on my mind is something unpleasant in these kinds of times.

I was wondering what gifts I should buy for my daughter for this Christmas and wanted to consult my wife,

about what her opinion would be. “How about an electronic toy like the latest DS-Eye”, I suggested to my

wife. She said, “No electronics. I want to buy her a beautiful dress.” She snapped. I felt hurt. She put down

my suggestion so mercilessly? How could she? So I insisted “No. It has to be what she always wanted, which

is the DS-eye from Nintendo. We should buy what she wants.” My wife said “You mean what you want to

buy for her? It must be a dress. She needs a good one this time”. Again, no respect. Absolutely no respect. I

got so mad.

What am I getting into? This is holiday time and happy time right? Why am I getting into something

unpleasant? Why am I being pulled into a conflict all the time? Don‟t conflicts have a time and reason to

raise their ugly heads?

Definition:

That brings us to the topic of this article: “Conflict Management”. When I say the word conflict, the

associated words that come to my mind are war, battle, argument, clash and so on. What do you say? Do

any positive words come to your mind when you hear the word “conflict”? I don‟t. Let us see the definition

of this term. So I looked it up in a dictionary and this is what I found. “A conflict is a negative emotional

state of mind that arises because one has to choose between incompatible goals and impulses”. Wow! So

even in the definition there is no positive connotation.

Benefits of Conflict Management:

As we just saw, conflicts come all the time. They come in difficult times, as well as in happy times. The

only choice we have left is to decide whether we are going to manage the conflict or leave it to itself.

Have you ever wondered if it is possible to come out of a conflict in such a manner that you and your

conflict partner are both happy and fully satisfied with the result? Yes, it is possible. The benefits of

conflict management are:

Better relationships with your partners.

Be more productive both in your professional as well as personal life.

A stress free life and not to mention

Richer set ideas to work with, to solve problems.

Important Factor in Conflict Management:

Conflict management is a very widely researched and analyzed topic. There are multiple factors involved in

conflict management. For the sake of brevity, let me mention one factor. This is the most common factor.

This factor is about “Who is more important?” Let us take a simple conflict like the one I described above.

There are two parties. The question is: Who of these two parties is more important? See the illustration

below and you will see a framework that has 4 quadrants.

(Continued on page 14)

Who’s more important? Five Answers

Page 14

Who’s more important? Five Answers

(Continued from page 13)

As you can see from above,

1. If I consider myself more important than the other person, I would “FORCE” my decision on them. This is the top

left quadrant For example, consider the situation in a construction organization. The field workers do not wear

hard hats to work on a regular basis. As we all know, for those who work in construction organizations, it is very

important for their safety that they wear hard hats, isn‟t it? But somehow in this organization the field workers

don‟t think so. Tomorrow is the inspection from the OSHA Department (Organization Safety and Hazards

Administration) and today the CEO has to convince the workers to wear hard hats to work the next day. So what

does he do? The CEO considers himself to be more powerful and important. On the eve of the inspection, he

announced that those who do not come to work without wearing their hard hat will be terminated from

employment with immediate effect. Result? The next day, 100% of the employees wore their hard hats. Those

who do not normally have to wear them also wore hard hats! One caveat with this resolution is that although it

has immediate results, the conflict can come back with in a different form and with more dire consequences.

2. If I consider the other person to be as important as I am, I would collaborate. This is the top right quadrant. As a

result of collaboration, both parties can be fully satisfied with the resolution. As an example, consider the

situation where Chuck, one of the Vice Presidents in a firm was working on a company laptop. His colleague,

Natasha, also a Vice President wanted to have the same laptop. She comes into his room and requests that he

give her the laptop. Chuck was already using the laptop and did not want to give it away until he is done with his

work, which will take another hour or so. Natasha wanted it right away as she was headed home right now. So the

way to resolve this conflict is by collaboration. After discussing some ideas and options, they finally agreed that

the Natasha would leave home without the laptop right now while Chuck would use it for the next one hour and

Page 15

Who’s more important? Five Answers

then drop it off at her home in a couple hours. Natasha was ok with this, because she was not going to use it for

another couple of hours anyway, even if she left home right now. How did this resolution become possible? Both

of them were open for ideas and solutions and were equally open in stating their requirements and limitations.

That is how this idea was born. Both are completely happy that their requirements were completely met. The

caveat of this way of resolution is that it is very expensive and time consuming process. But the results are great.

3. This is a situation where I consider myself less important than the other party and therefore in this situation I

would yield to the demands of the other party. As you can see, this is just the opposite of the first situation

where Force was the resolution. When the other person applies force, I yield. This is the bottom right quadrant

above. In other words, when the CEO passed this resolution, all the employees complied or “yielded” to the CEO.

The only caveat of this is that when you yield, you don‟t feel so good about yourself.

4. When both parties consider that they are not important or that the conflict at hand is trivial, they would simply

avoid the conflict for the benefit of their relationship. This is the last quadrant. The problem with avoiding a

conflict, however, is that most of the times, the conflict can return and has to be managed.

5. This is the fifth type of resolution and happens in the cases of most conflicts. Not every conflict situation can be

very clearly analyzed and made to fit in one of these quadrants. Sometimes, some of my requirements may not be

very critical to me and some of the other person‟s requirements also are not very important. Or both are equally

important and a perfect collaborative solution is not available. In this case, you would negotiate and arrive at a

compromise. The difference between negotiation and collaboration is that, while in collaboration, both the

parties are completely satisfied; in this case, both parties are not completely satisfied nor are they completely

dissatisfied. But they figured that they can live with the resolution. A typical example is salary negotiation.

(Continued from page 14)

„No conflict is resolved

until the emotional

aspect of the conflict has

been taken care of”. In

other words, regardless

of the resolution that we

come up with, we must

address the feelings of

the other person and

acknowledge that we

understand how we feel

and that we are sorry for

the way they feel about

this situation'

Conclusion:

To conclude, I have defined conflict, discussed the benefits of conflict

management, and an important factor in conflict management. We have

also seen how there are 5 answers (or resolutions) to conflict

management, based on this one factor. But I cannot end this topic

without mentioning a very important tenet in conflict management.

“No conflict is resolved until the emotional aspect of the conflict has

been taken care of”. In other words, regardless of the resolution that we

come up with, we must address the feelings of the other person and

acknowledge that we understand how we feel and that we are sorry for

the way they feel about this situation”.

Surya Avantsa

Art of Speaking Club

Page 16

District 83 Fall 2009 Tall Tales and Table Topics Contest

Photos courtesy of Joe Shuler, D83 Photographer

Table Topics Contestants (left to right): Aubree Lynn, Christopher Hansen, Veronica Harris, Mike Pine, Cathy Mangano

Tall Tales Contestants: (left to right): Chantell Thomas,

Shakara Thomas, Lisa Pantano, Sandra Graham-Mason, Brian

Cort

Trophy winners in Table Topics Contest: 1st place - Christopher Hansen (center); 2nd place - Veronica Harris (left); 3rd place - Aubree Lynn (right)

Trophy winners in Tall Tales Contest: 1st place - Brian Cort (center); 2nd place -

Shakara Thomas (left); 3rd place _ Chantell Thomas (right)