5

CONTENTS

The Wabi Sabi

Of Love Letters

13

How It All Began

15

The Blossoming of Young Love

23

Defying Geography

25

A TIMELESS LOVE

51

With This (Invisible) Ring, I Thee Wed

61

Wabi Sabi Tips for Love Letter Writing

64

Treasuring Time

69

Forever in Bloom

85A private collection

5

CONTENTS

The Wabi Sabi

Of Love Letters

13

How It All Began

15

The Blossoming of Young Love

23

Defying Geography

25

A TIMELESS LOVE

51

With This (Invisible) Ring, I Thee Wed

61

Wabi Sabi Tips for Love Letter Writing

64

Treasuring Time

69

Forever in Bloom

85A private collection

7

That’s the card Brian gave me on June 22, 2008 for our 10th wedding anniversary.

7

That’s the card Brian gave me on June 22, 2008 for our 10th wedding anniversary.

9

Here’s the one I gave him that same year:

Here we are, toasting to our first 10 years as man and wife!

9

Here’s the one I gave him that same year:

Here we are, toasting to our first 10 years as man and wife!

11

Three years later, I gave him this one:

Loving every moment together—13 years and counting!

11

Three years later, I gave him this one:

Loving every moment together—13 years and counting!

Well beyond anniversary cards, from the

beginning, love letters, be they greeting cards,

emails, longhand letters, or notes, have played an

important part in our romance, our love, and our

forever growing relationship and marriage.

My hope, with this eBook, is to give you

insights into how we’ve used love letters to deepen

and enhance our relationship, but also to give you

the tools to use love letters to make your relation-

ship as wabi sabi as it can be.

The Wabi Sabiof Love Letters

Greeting card, courtesy of Persimmon Press, persimmoncards.com

Well beyond anniversary cards, from the

beginning, love letters, be they greeting cards,

emails, longhand letters, or notes, have played an

important part in our romance, our love, and our

forever growing relationship and marriage.

My hope, with this eBook, is to give you

insights into how we’ve used love letters to deepen

and enhance our relationship, but also to give you

the tools to use love letters to make your relation-

ship as wabi sabi as it can be.

The Wabi Sabiof Love Letters

Greeting card, courtesy of Persimmon Press, persimmoncards.com

15

That love letters have played such an important

role in mine and Brian’s romance makes even more

sense when you hear the story of how we met.

How It All Began . . .

It was a Friday morning, in

fact, and I had just gotten

off a plane from San Diego,

my home, to Portland, OR,

where Brian then lived. It

was both love at first sight,

and love at first knowing.

While we had never physi-

cally met before, the mo-

ment we laid eyes on each

other, we felt a deep and

abiding connection that

neither of us could ignore.

It would take just two

months to close those 1,000

miles between us. However

agonizing that distance

seemed to us at the time,

it inspired us to exchange

hundreds of emails, cards

and letters that we have

kept safe and sound for all

these years. Most impor-

tantly, perhaps, those two

months we spent together

(in our hearts and souls)

but apart (in our geogra-

phy), instilled in us both an

ongoing desire to continue

expressing our love, grati-

tude and happiness to each

other, in writing, through

love letters.

Exchanging love letters, in

fact, has become a sacred

practice for us over the

years. The letters in this

book, along with the many

15

That love letters have played such an important

role in mine and Brian’s romance makes even more

sense when you hear the story of how we met.

How It All Began . . .

It was a Friday morning, in

fact, and I had just gotten

off a plane from San Diego,

my home, to Portland, OR,

where Brian then lived. It

was both love at first sight,

and love at first knowing.

While we had never physi-

cally met before, the mo-

ment we laid eyes on each

other, we felt a deep and

abiding connection that

neither of us could ignore.

It would take just two

months to close those 1,000

miles between us. However

agonizing that distance

seemed to us at the time,

it inspired us to exchange

hundreds of emails, cards

and letters that we have

kept safe and sound for all

these years. Most impor-

tantly, perhaps, those two

months we spent together

(in our hearts and souls)

but apart (in our geogra-

phy), instilled in us both an

ongoing desire to continue

expressing our love, grati-

tude and happiness to each

other, in writing, through

love letters.

Exchanging love letters, in

fact, has become a sacred

practice for us over the

years. The letters in this

book, along with the many

17

others not in this book,

have given us a timeless

way to celebrate the mys-

tical, magical, warmly

loving wabi sabi-ness of

our own relationship, and

to reap the rewards of the

love that continues to grow

and blossom each and

every year.

So you can get a sense of

how it all began, I

wanted to share the story

of Brian’s and my first

meeting, as excerpted

from my book,

The Soulmate Secret:

On June 22. 1997· I went

to see Amma, the

hugging saint from India.

I had heard about her

years earlier from Deepak

Chopra, who said to me,

“Amma is the real thing. If

you ever have a chance to

get a hug from her, do it.”

I signed up for this week-

end retreat, knowing that

during this retreat I would

receive at least two hugs. I

had spent the previous year

forgiving myself and oth-

ers for relationships that

hadn’t worked out, I had

made my Soulmate List and

released it to the Universe,

I had unhooked myself

energetically from past lov-

ers, and I truly believed in

my heart that my soulmate

was out there. Now I was

hoping for a little cosmic

power boost to help bring

us together.

On the first evening of the

retreat, I patiently waited

in line for my hug. I was

excited and a little

nervous… I had a plan but

I didn’t know if it would

work. I had been told that

when you receive a hug

from Amma, she may whis-

per or chant into your ear

but you don’t converse with

her, because she doesn’t

speak English. Finally it

was my turn, and while she

was hugging me, I whis-

pered in her ear, “Dear

Amma, please heal my

heart of anything that is

stopping me from finding

my soulmate.” She laughed

as I said this and squeezed

me tighter. I “knew” that

she had understood

my prayer.

That night I had a very

vivid dream. In the dream

there were seven women

dressed in purple, sing-

ing to me. The lyrics of the

song were: “Arielle is the

woman that comes after

Beth.” When I woke up in

the morning, I was con-

vinced it had been a

sign—my soulmate was out

there, but he was currently

with someone named Beth.

The next evening I had an

opportunity for a second

hug from Amma. This time

I whispered in her ear to

please send me my

soulmate, and I rattled off

part of my wish list. Again

she laughed and squeezed

me tight.

Three weeks later I went on

an unexpected

business trip to Portland,

Oregon. One of the

authors I had been

17

others not in this book,

have given us a timeless

way to celebrate the mys-

tical, magical, warmly

loving wabi sabi-ness of

our own relationship, and

to reap the rewards of the

love that continues to grow

and blossom each and

every year.

So you can get a sense of

how it all began, I

wanted to share the story

of Brian’s and my first

meeting, as excerpted

from my book,

The Soulmate Secret:

On June 22. 1997· I went

to see Amma, the

hugging saint from India.

I had heard about her

years earlier from Deepak

Chopra, who said to me,

“Amma is the real thing. If

you ever have a chance to

get a hug from her, do it.”

I signed up for this week-

end retreat, knowing that

during this retreat I would

receive at least two hugs. I

had spent the previous year

forgiving myself and oth-

ers for relationships that

hadn’t worked out, I had

made my Soulmate List and

released it to the Universe,

I had unhooked myself

energetically from past lov-

ers, and I truly believed in

my heart that my soulmate

was out there. Now I was

hoping for a little cosmic

power boost to help bring

us together.

On the first evening of the

retreat, I patiently waited

in line for my hug. I was

excited and a little

nervous… I had a plan but

I didn’t know if it would

work. I had been told that

when you receive a hug

from Amma, she may whis-

per or chant into your ear

but you don’t converse with

her, because she doesn’t

speak English. Finally it

was my turn, and while she

was hugging me, I whis-

pered in her ear, “Dear

Amma, please heal my

heart of anything that is

stopping me from finding

my soulmate.” She laughed

as I said this and squeezed

me tighter. I “knew” that

she had understood

my prayer.

That night I had a very

vivid dream. In the dream

there were seven women

dressed in purple, sing-

ing to me. The lyrics of the

song were: “Arielle is the

woman that comes after

Beth.” When I woke up in

the morning, I was con-

vinced it had been a

sign—my soulmate was out

there, but he was currently

with someone named Beth.

The next evening I had an

opportunity for a second

hug from Amma. This time

I whispered in her ear to

please send me my

soulmate, and I rattled off

part of my wish list. Again

she laughed and squeezed

me tight.

Three weeks later I went on

an unexpected

business trip to Portland,

Oregon. One of the

authors I had been

19

working with, Nick, was

about to be interviewed for

an important TV show. The

taping had been moved

from the studio in L.A. to

Nick’s home in Portland,

and the publisher asked

me to fly up and supervise

the shoot. The call came

late in the afternoon on a

Thursday, and I needed

to be in Portland the fol-

lowing morning. I called

Nick’s office and spoke to

one of his business associ-

ates, Brian, who agreed

to pick me up at the air-

port the following day. He

kindly explained to me that

because the Portland

airport was under

construction, he couldn’t

meet me at the gate, but he

did tell me where I could

find him just outside

the terminal.

On the flight up to

Portland, I was unusually

nervous. At first, I thought

it was because I was in the

middle of a detox diet—

I had been subsisting on

various juice and soup

concoctions for about a

week. However, I would

find out soon enough where

my “nerves” were coming

from. When I landed at the

gate, I followed Brian’s

directions out of the

terminal and quickly found

him. The moment I saw

him, I had the thought, “I

wonder who Beth is?” This

was quickly followed by

the thought, “He’s not your

type and you are a little

crazy today.”

When we arrived at Nick’s

house, the TV crew was

setting up for the interview.

Once they were ready to

begin taping, I sat in the

back of the room on a little

bench next to Brian.

I should have been

concentrating on the

conversation between Nick

and the host of the show,

but I kept getting distract-

ed by an overwhelming

urge to massage Brian’s

shoulders. The urge was

so intense that I literally

had to sit on my hands so

I wouldn’t be tempted! As

I was sitting on that bench

next to Brian, whom I had

met only an hour earlier, I

very clearly heard a voice

say to me, “He’s The One.

This is how it happens.

This is who you are going

to spend your life with.”

By now I was convinced

that I was losing my mind.

I had never heard voices

before, nor had I ever

been compelled to rub a

stranger’s shoulders. What

was going on? When the

interview was complete,

the lights went on and we

stood up. Brian turned to

me and asked, “When I

picked you up at the

airport, did 1 look

familiar to you?” Slightly

taken aback, I answered,

‘’Yes, why do you ask?’’

And he said, “Because I’ve

been dreaming about you.”

I was so blown away by

what he said that I just

turned and began walk-

ing to the door to get some

fresh air. As I was walking

away, I heard Nick say to

Brian, “Let’s take Arielle

to dinner tonight before

she has to catch her plane,

and why don’t you invite

19

working with, Nick, was

about to be interviewed for

an important TV show. The

taping had been moved

from the studio in L.A. to

Nick’s home in Portland,

and the publisher asked

me to fly up and supervise

the shoot. The call came

late in the afternoon on a

Thursday, and I needed

to be in Portland the fol-

lowing morning. I called

Nick’s office and spoke to

one of his business associ-

ates, Brian, who agreed

to pick me up at the air-

port the following day. He

kindly explained to me that

because the Portland

airport was under

construction, he couldn’t

meet me at the gate, but he

did tell me where I could

find him just outside

the terminal.

On the flight up to

Portland, I was unusually

nervous. At first, I thought

it was because I was in the

middle of a detox diet—

I had been subsisting on

various juice and soup

concoctions for about a

week. However, I would

find out soon enough where

my “nerves” were coming

from. When I landed at the

gate, I followed Brian’s

directions out of the

terminal and quickly found

him. The moment I saw

him, I had the thought, “I

wonder who Beth is?” This

was quickly followed by

the thought, “He’s not your

type and you are a little

crazy today.”

When we arrived at Nick’s

house, the TV crew was

setting up for the interview.

Once they were ready to

begin taping, I sat in the

back of the room on a little

bench next to Brian.

I should have been

concentrating on the

conversation between Nick

and the host of the show,

but I kept getting distract-

ed by an overwhelming

urge to massage Brian’s

shoulders. The urge was

so intense that I literally

had to sit on my hands so

I wouldn’t be tempted! As

I was sitting on that bench

next to Brian, whom I had

met only an hour earlier, I

very clearly heard a voice

say to me, “He’s The One.

This is how it happens.

This is who you are going

to spend your life with.”

By now I was convinced

that I was losing my mind.

I had never heard voices

before, nor had I ever

been compelled to rub a

stranger’s shoulders. What

was going on? When the

interview was complete,

the lights went on and we

stood up. Brian turned to

me and asked, “When I

picked you up at the

airport, did 1 look

familiar to you?” Slightly

taken aback, I answered,

‘’Yes, why do you ask?’’

And he said, “Because I’ve

been dreaming about you.”

I was so blown away by

what he said that I just

turned and began walk-

ing to the door to get some

fresh air. As I was walking

away, I heard Nick say to

Brian, “Let’s take Arielle

to dinner tonight before

she has to catch her plane,

and why don’t you invite

21

Elizabeth to join us?’’ As I

reached the lakeside patio to

sit down, I thought, “Great.

So there is a Beth. Not only

a Beth, but an Elizabeth. It

must be his wife.” Then the

voice came back and said

simply, “Don’t worry.

They are just like brother

and sister.”

I didn’t know what any of

this meant. I was excited,

hungry, and more than a

bit confused. Later that day

Brian and I went to dinner

with Nick, his wife, a few

other people—and Elizabeth,

who arrived with a friend. It

was a hot summer evening,

and the restaurant service

couldn’t have been slower.

We ordered our dinner, but it

was taking forever to arrive.

Before my meal was even

served, it was time for me to

go because I had to catch

my flight home. Nick ar-

ranged for my trout dinner

to be put into a to-go box,

and Brian raced down the

freeway to get me to the

airport on time. As we were

driving, I was feeding both

of us my trout dinner and

hearing myself say things

I couldn’t believe were

coming out of my mouth.

Things like, “You know,

I don’t want to have any

children.” To which Brian

responded, “That’s why

Elizabeth and I have bro-

ken up. She wants to get

married and have children,

and I don’t want to.”

Then I heard myself say,

“I’ve been looking for a

tantra partner.” At that

point Brian nearly drove

off the road (I later found

out that he had been

dreaming about me for the

past three weeks, and the night

before he picked me up at the

airport, we were in the tantric

yab-yum position. This is

when a man is sitting cross-

legged and a woman sits on

top of him and wraps her

legs around his back and

they are in full union, all

chakras connected).

We arrived at the airport.

After a quick hug goodbye,

I ran to catch my plane. As I

waited in the terminal, I put in

a call to my Vedic astrologer,

Marc Boney. I briefly told him

about Brian and gave him his

birth info (which I had man-

aged to extract from Brian

before I caught my plane). By

the time I got home, Marc had

left a voice message for me

that said: “I looked up both of

your charts. This is the

clearest indication of a fated

relationship I have ever

seen. I predict you will

marry him.”

One week later both Nick

and Brian came to San Di-

ego for Nick’s book tour.

Brian and I sat in the back of

the room while Nick gave his

lecture, writing notes to each

other like seventh graders!

Things moved very quickly

from there. Brian and I be-

came engaged three weeks

later. Within two months,

he moved to La Jolla to live

with me. Exactly one year to

the date that I asked Amma

to help me find my soulmate

(which was the culmination

of two years of deliberately

applying the Law of Attrac-

tion), she married us in a

Hindu ceremony in front of

thousands of people.

21

Elizabeth to join us?’’ As I

reached the lakeside patio to

sit down, I thought, “Great.

So there is a Beth. Not only

a Beth, but an Elizabeth. It

must be his wife.” Then the

voice came back and said

simply, “Don’t worry.

They are just like brother

and sister.”

I didn’t know what any of

this meant. I was excited,

hungry, and more than a

bit confused. Later that day

Brian and I went to dinner

with Nick, his wife, a few

other people—and Elizabeth,

who arrived with a friend. It

was a hot summer evening,

and the restaurant service

couldn’t have been slower.

We ordered our dinner, but it

was taking forever to arrive.

Before my meal was even

served, it was time for me to

go because I had to catch

my flight home. Nick ar-

ranged for my trout dinner

to be put into a to-go box,

and Brian raced down the

freeway to get me to the

airport on time. As we were

driving, I was feeding both

of us my trout dinner and

hearing myself say things

I couldn’t believe were

coming out of my mouth.

Things like, “You know,

I don’t want to have any

children.” To which Brian

responded, “That’s why

Elizabeth and I have bro-

ken up. She wants to get

married and have children,

and I don’t want to.”

Then I heard myself say,

“I’ve been looking for a

tantra partner.” At that

point Brian nearly drove

off the road (I later found

out that he had been

dreaming about me for the

past three weeks, and the night

before he picked me up at the

airport, we were in the tantric

yab-yum position. This is

when a man is sitting cross-

legged and a woman sits on

top of him and wraps her

legs around his back and

they are in full union, all

chakras connected).

We arrived at the airport.

After a quick hug goodbye,

I ran to catch my plane. As I

waited in the terminal, I put in

a call to my Vedic astrologer,

Marc Boney. I briefly told him

about Brian and gave him his

birth info (which I had man-

aged to extract from Brian

before I caught my plane). By

the time I got home, Marc had

left a voice message for me

that said: “I looked up both of

your charts. This is the

clearest indication of a fated

relationship I have ever

seen. I predict you will

marry him.”

One week later both Nick

and Brian came to San Di-

ego for Nick’s book tour.

Brian and I sat in the back of

the room while Nick gave his

lecture, writing notes to each

other like seventh graders!

Things moved very quickly

from there. Brian and I be-

came engaged three weeks

later. Within two months,

he moved to La Jolla to live

with me. Exactly one year to

the date that I asked Amma

to help me find my soulmate

(which was the culmination

of two years of deliberately

applying the Law of Attrac-

tion), she married us in a

Hindu ceremony in front of

thousands of people.

23

During those two months between our meeting and

Brian’s move to La Jolla, our love letter writing was fast

and furious. The many emails, cards, and notes we

exchanged gave us a way to express our feelings, and

continue deepening our bond in between our many phone

calls and weekends together.

I’ll admit, rereading these letters and emails today, it’s

easy to giggle at the desperate energy of our young love.

Also, though, it’s interesting to see how many of our feel-

ings toward each other, although much deeper after 13+

years together, are still as real as they were during those

first weeks.

That, for us, is one of the gifts of love letters. They give

you and your love a moment to revel in the wabi sabi of

your relationship, and celebrate the affection, adoration,

respect, trust, and lust that first brought you together.

To inspire you to remember how you felt about your

spouse, partner, or special someone when you first met, I

wanted to share some of the many emails and notes Brian

and I exchanged during our first two months together.

The Blossoming of Young Love . . .

23

During those two months between our meeting and

Brian’s move to La Jolla, our love letter writing was fast

and furious. The many emails, cards, and notes we

exchanged gave us a way to express our feelings, and

continue deepening our bond in between our many phone

calls and weekends together.

I’ll admit, rereading these letters and emails today, it’s

easy to giggle at the desperate energy of our young love.

Also, though, it’s interesting to see how many of our feel-

ings toward each other, although much deeper after 13+

years together, are still as real as they were during those

first weeks.

That, for us, is one of the gifts of love letters. They give

you and your love a moment to revel in the wabi sabi of

your relationship, and celebrate the affection, adoration,

respect, trust, and lust that first brought you together.

To inspire you to remember how you felt about your

spouse, partner, or special someone when you first met, I

wanted to share some of the many emails and notes Brian

and I exchanged during our first two months together.

The Blossoming of Young Love . . .

25

The box of our printed emails and cards from this period

is large, so I’ve chosen a mere handful to give you some

ideas about how to make your “lov-emails” into keepsakes

of your own.

DefyingGeography

25

The box of our printed emails and cards from this period

is large, so I’ve chosen a mere handful to give you some

ideas about how to make your “lov-emails” into keepsakes

of your own.

DefyingGeography

27

That trip to Yosemite over Labor Day was our first

together. Although it quickly turned into a wonderful

weekend, I’ll admit that my heart sank the moment we

walked into the cabin I’d rented. It was far more rustic

than I’d hoped, the only bathroom being a nearby

outhouse. Each night, afraid of an unwelcome bear

encounter, I woke Brian up in the wee hours to

accompany me out there. He was a wonderful sport about

it, and we spent three fabulous days hiking and biking

amidst the breathtaking scenery.

27

That trip to Yosemite over Labor Day was our first

together. Although it quickly turned into a wonderful

weekend, I’ll admit that my heart sank the moment we

walked into the cabin I’d rented. It was far more rustic

than I’d hoped, the only bathroom being a nearby

outhouse. Each night, afraid of an unwelcome bear

encounter, I woke Brian up in the wee hours to

accompany me out there. He was a wonderful sport about

it, and we spent three fabulous days hiking and biking

amidst the breathtaking scenery.

29

29

31

31

33

33

35

35

37

37

39

39

41

41

43

43

45

45

47

47

49

49

51

Our engagement, which began just three weeks after we

first met, was as spontaneous as it was surreal.

It was a hot summer evening, and we were seated on the

outdoor patio of a romantic Italian café in the gaslamp

quarter of San Diego. While reveling in the pleasure of

each other’s company, Brian suddenly blurted out, “I’d

marry you tomorrow if I could. I’d marry you right now,

but I didn’t prepare. I don’t have a ring.” Shocked and elat-

ed, we quickly decided the “Invisible Ring” would mark

our engagement.

Hours later, I was on the phone with my best astrologer

friends, who scoured the charts to find the most

auspicious day for our wedding.

A Timeless Love... Thrilled though I was

about our engagement, in

the weeks after accepting

Brian’s “Invisible Ring,” I

made sure to keep our pre-

cious secret to myself, fear-

ing that friends and family

would think us insane for

committing to a life togeth-

er after three short weeks in

a long-distance relationship.

Looking back, I can see

that I needed more time to

protect our young love, and

nurture it until I was sure it

would last.

Barely six weeks later,

however, Brian gently

forced the issue by asking

me when I was planning

on telling my mother about

our engagement. I hesi-

tated, and quickly admitted

that I was afraid to tell her.

If I told her, I explained,

that would mean the en-

gagement was real. Brian

smiled, and nodded. “Yes,

that’s the whole point,” he

said. “I want to marry you.

I love you with everything

I have and everything I am,

and I want the world to

know it.”

Moments later, I was on

the phone with my mother,

who was not only thrilled

at our news, but also eager

to kick off the celebration

by throwing us an

engagement party.

A month later, the official

festivities began with the

party my mom planned for

us in Orlando. Later that

fall, we hosted an engage-

ment party for our friends

in Los Angeles.

51

Our engagement, which began just three weeks after we

first met, was as spontaneous as it was surreal.

It was a hot summer evening, and we were seated on the

outdoor patio of a romantic Italian café in the gaslamp

quarter of San Diego. While reveling in the pleasure of

each other’s company, Brian suddenly blurted out, “I’d

marry you tomorrow if I could. I’d marry you right now,

but I didn’t prepare. I don’t have a ring.” Shocked and elat-

ed, we quickly decided the “Invisible Ring” would mark

our engagement.

Hours later, I was on the phone with my best astrologer

friends, who scoured the charts to find the most

auspicious day for our wedding.

A Timeless Love... Thrilled though I was

about our engagement, in

the weeks after accepting

Brian’s “Invisible Ring,” I

made sure to keep our pre-

cious secret to myself, fear-

ing that friends and family

would think us insane for

committing to a life togeth-

er after three short weeks in

a long-distance relationship.

Looking back, I can see

that I needed more time to

protect our young love, and

nurture it until I was sure it

would last.

Barely six weeks later,

however, Brian gently

forced the issue by asking

me when I was planning

on telling my mother about

our engagement. I hesi-

tated, and quickly admitted

that I was afraid to tell her.

If I told her, I explained,

that would mean the en-

gagement was real. Brian

smiled, and nodded. “Yes,

that’s the whole point,” he

said. “I want to marry you.

I love you with everything

I have and everything I am,

and I want the world to

know it.”

Moments later, I was on

the phone with my mother,

who was not only thrilled

at our news, but also eager

to kick off the celebration

by throwing us an

engagement party.

A month later, the official

festivities began with the

party my mom planned for

us in Orlando. Later that

fall, we hosted an engage-

ment party for our friends

in Los Angeles.

53

Those parties would turn out to be the start of a long

series of celebrations that would last into, and beyond,

our first (and second!) wedding.

53

Those parties would turn out to be the start of a long

series of celebrations that would last into, and beyond,

our first (and second!) wedding.

55

55

57

57

59

59

61

Brian moved to La Jolla weeks later, and with the help of

my astrologer friends, we set our wedding date for

June 22, 1998. I was both determined to find the ideal

astrological date, and to spend some months living

together to get to know each other before officially

committing to our future together.

By the time our wedding arrived, we were more in love

than ever, and confident that our union was indeed meant

to be. Our June 22nd wedding was breathtakingly

beautiful, and was quickly followed by our “legal”

wedding on August 9th, and then a third wedding with

Amma, the beloved “hugging saint” of India who had

blessed my wishes to find Brian, my beloved soulmate.

Finally, we closed our many months of celebration with a

fabulous post-wedding party that marked the official start

of our life together as man and wife.

With This (Invisible) Ring, I Thee Wed....

61

Brian moved to La Jolla weeks later, and with the help of

my astrologer friends, we set our wedding date for

June 22, 1998. I was both determined to find the ideal

astrological date, and to spend some months living

together to get to know each other before officially

committing to our future together.

By the time our wedding arrived, we were more in love

than ever, and confident that our union was indeed meant

to be. Our June 22nd wedding was breathtakingly

beautiful, and was quickly followed by our “legal”

wedding on August 9th, and then a third wedding with

Amma, the beloved “hugging saint” of India who had

blessed my wishes to find Brian, my beloved soulmate.

Finally, we closed our many months of celebration with a

fabulous post-wedding party that marked the official start

of our life together as man and wife.

With This (Invisible) Ring, I Thee Wed....

63

63

65

The best love letters are unique to you and yours. For

some couples, poetry is sacred. For others, it’s music,

sports, humor, or certain turns of phrase and special

memories that quickly bring you back to each other, and

remind you of how special your union truly is.

Here are some quick tips for writing love letters that help

you create new memories worth holding onto:

• Alovingmindsetmakesallthedifference. If you’re

annoyed that your partner left her dirty dishes on the

counter, wait until you’re in a loving mood to write

your letter. The loving words you write will ring a lot

truer when you’re actually feeling them.

• Relax,andenjoy! What better chance to bask in the

glow of love than when you’re writing to your

beloved? Feel the warm embrace of your best

memories, your most cherished moments, and relive

them in your mind as you write. That squabble you

had this morning will mean so very little when you let

turn into the vapor it was always meant to be.

Wabi Sabi Tips for Love Letter Writing...

• Celebratethetiesthatbindyou. Whether it’s pet

names, actual pets, jokes, art, hiking, children, or other,

those little (and big) things in your daily lives that con-

tinue to bring you together matter. Referring to them

in your love letters, whether through images or words,

makes your letters authentic to the only people who

matter—you and yours.

• Byallmeans,ushandgush. If ever there was a time

to let it all spill out and express the true depths of your

feelings, love letters are it. If you feel awkward ex-

pressing yourself so openly, it’s probably high time you

did just that. You, your relationship, and your beloved

all deserve that much—and lots more!

• Makeitimperfect. Let’s face it—perfection is

impersonal. Your poems may not rhyme, your

hand-drawn hearts may be lopsided, but what

matters is that your letters and cards are from the

most special person ever. YOU.

65

The best love letters are unique to you and yours. For

some couples, poetry is sacred. For others, it’s music,

sports, humor, or certain turns of phrase and special

memories that quickly bring you back to each other, and

remind you of how special your union truly is.

Here are some quick tips for writing love letters that help

you create new memories worth holding onto:

• Alovingmindsetmakesallthedifference. If you’re

annoyed that your partner left her dirty dishes on the

counter, wait until you’re in a loving mood to write

your letter. The loving words you write will ring a lot

truer when you’re actually feeling them.

• Relax,andenjoy! What better chance to bask in the

glow of love than when you’re writing to your

beloved? Feel the warm embrace of your best

memories, your most cherished moments, and relive

them in your mind as you write. That squabble you

had this morning will mean so very little when you let

turn into the vapor it was always meant to be.

Wabi Sabi Tips for Love Letter Writing...

• Celebratethetiesthatbindyou. Whether it’s pet

names, actual pets, jokes, art, hiking, children, or other,

those little (and big) things in your daily lives that con-

tinue to bring you together matter. Referring to them

in your love letters, whether through images or words,

makes your letters authentic to the only people who

matter—you and yours.

• Byallmeans,ushandgush. If ever there was a time

to let it all spill out and express the true depths of your

feelings, love letters are it. If you feel awkward ex-

pressing yourself so openly, it’s probably high time you

did just that. You, your relationship, and your beloved

all deserve that much—and lots more!

• Makeitimperfect. Let’s face it—perfection is

impersonal. Your poems may not rhyme, your

hand-drawn hearts may be lopsided, but what

matters is that your letters and cards are from the

most special person ever. YOU.

67

• Inside your love’s towel.

• Inside a book she’s currently reading.

• Taped behind a cupboard you’re sure he’ll

open.

• Behind her car sun visor.

• On his pillow.

• Inside her shoe.

• Taped to his favorite beverage.

• Underneath a clear glass.

• Hanging on a doorknob.

• Taped on the backside of the TV remote con-

trol.

• In the microwave. (Visible enough so it doesn’t

get cooked!)

• In her wallet or purse.

• Laminated and floating in a bubble bath.

• Very large, taped on an outside window.

• In her suitcase.

• In his coat pocket.

• Attached to his key chain.

• In your mailbox.

• On the ceiling, above your bed.

• In her drawer.

• Inside a favorite CD or DVD case.

• Inside his favorite coffee cup.

• Taped to a bottle of favorite wine.

• Mailed to her office.

• In his slippers.

• Inside the pocket of her robe.

• On top of, or inside the drawer of, his bed-

side table.

• On the coffee machine.

• Sandwiched inside her closed laptop.

• Taped to his steering wheel.

• Nested inside her not-yet-read magazine.

Let your imagination run wild—the options

are endless!

• Leaveitbehind.What’s more fun than being

surprised by a love letter? Here are some suggestions

for “delivering” your letters in surprising ways:

67

• Inside your love’s towel.

• Inside a book she’s currently reading.

• Taped behind a cupboard you’re sure he’ll

open.

• Behind her car sun visor.

• On his pillow.

• Inside her shoe.

• Taped to his favorite beverage.

• Underneath a clear glass.

• Hanging on a doorknob.

• Taped on the backside of the TV remote con-

trol.

• In the microwave. (Visible enough so it doesn’t

get cooked!)

• In her wallet or purse.

• Laminated and floating in a bubble bath.

• Very large, taped on an outside window.

• In her suitcase.

• In his coat pocket.

• Attached to his key chain.

• In your mailbox.

• On the ceiling, above your bed.

• In her drawer.

• Inside a favorite CD or DVD case.

• Inside his favorite coffee cup.

• Taped to a bottle of favorite wine.

• Mailed to her office.

• In his slippers.

• Inside the pocket of her robe.

• On top of, or inside the drawer of, his bed-

side table.

• On the coffee machine.

• Sandwiched inside her closed laptop.

• Taped to his steering wheel.

• Nested inside her not-yet-read magazine.

Let your imagination run wild—the options

are endless!

• Leaveitbehind.What’s more fun than being

surprised by a love letter? Here are some suggestions

for “delivering” your letters in surprising ways:

69

As the years have passed, Brian and I have continued ex-

changing notes and letters, doing everything we can think

of to celebrate the wabi sabi in our own love, and allow

our gratitude for that first meeting to grow bigger with

each new year. Rather than the abandoned dirty laundry

or forgotten errand, we have focused on the support, fun,

laughter, and warmth we have nurtured between us.

To help get you in the mood to revel in the wonder of your

own wabi sabi love, I’m sharing a handful of the many

cards we’ve exchanged since getting married.

Treasuring Time...

69

As the years have passed, Brian and I have continued ex-

changing notes and letters, doing everything we can think

of to celebrate the wabi sabi in our own love, and allow

our gratitude for that first meeting to grow bigger with

each new year. Rather than the abandoned dirty laundry

or forgotten errand, we have focused on the support, fun,

laughter, and warmth we have nurtured between us.

To help get you in the mood to revel in the wonder of your

own wabi sabi love, I’m sharing a handful of the many

cards we’ve exchanged since getting married.

Treasuring Time...

71

Oh My Sweet, My Beloved Valentine

71

Oh My Sweet, My Beloved Valentine

73

Charlie, dearly missed since 2005

73

Charlie, dearly missed since 2005

75

75

77

To You, My Love, On Your Special Day

77

To You, My Love, On Your Special Day

79

79

81

We celebrated Brian’s 50th during a cruise through French Polynesia. This is from our stop at Bora Bora.

81

We celebrated Brian’s 50th during a cruise through French Polynesia. This is from our stop at Bora Bora.

83

One of our most cherished traditions over the years has been the Sunday morning hike we

enjoy with various friends and family. This photo is from one of our most recent hikes.

We love to travel to exotic places, and recently fell in love with the paradise known as Bali.

83

One of our most cherished traditions over the years has been the Sunday morning hike we

enjoy with various friends and family. This photo is from one of our most recent hikes.

We love to travel to exotic places, and recently fell in love with the paradise known as Bali.

85

During a recent vacation, Brian and I spent several long

romantic walks reminiscing on our 13+ years together,

and discussing what’s changed between us, and for us, and

what hasn’t. Those conversations inspired a new love letter

exchange, which I’m sharing here.

More than anything, though, those conversations rein-

forced what he and I have known for our many years

together—in a wabi sabi love relationship, the passage of

time is a gift. When you learn to appreciate, accept, and

occasionally laugh about, each other’s flaws and foibles,

your life together grows bigger, more interesting, and your

love, deeper and more beautifully intricate.

And while you are more than welcome to borrow and

massage the words of our love letters for your own, I hope,

most of all, that our letters help you to revel in the perfect

imperfections of your own relationships, to celebrate the

silliness, bask in the sensuality, and reap the infinite

rewards of wabi sabi love!

Forever in Bloom..

Dear Brian,

July 18, 1997 was the day my life changed forever.

I remember waking up that morning with butterflies in my stomach…even though I

was about to take a short business trip to Portland, my body new something was up!

The plan was simple: I was going to see one of my authors, Nick, to supervise a video

shoot. Nick’s business partner, some guy named Brian, (look for a tall man with salt

& pepper hair in a silver car), would pick me up at the airport.

In 24 hours I would be home.

What was there to be nervous about???

I remember walking out of the airport and seeing you standing next to your car.

In that instant I knew you were someone special.

Within hours, I was sure we were meant to be together.

My earliest impressions of you were: he’s very kind, handsome, strong, confident, and

sexy!

Today, nearly 15 years later, all of those impressions are still true only now I know

with 100% certainty that you are also deeply loving, generous, fascinating, fun, funny,

intuitive, massively athletic, super smart, courageous, compassionate, consistent,

loyal, selfless, spiritual and so much more. Your open heart, love of humanity and

curious mind make you the most interesting person I’ve ever met.

85

During a recent vacation, Brian and I spent several long

romantic walks reminiscing on our 13+ years together,

and discussing what’s changed between us, and for us, and

what hasn’t. Those conversations inspired a new love letter

exchange, which I’m sharing here.

More than anything, though, those conversations rein-

forced what he and I have known for our many years

together—in a wabi sabi love relationship, the passage of

time is a gift. When you learn to appreciate, accept, and

occasionally laugh about, each other’s flaws and foibles,

your life together grows bigger, more interesting, and your

love, deeper and more beautifully intricate.

And while you are more than welcome to borrow and

massage the words of our love letters for your own, I hope,

most of all, that our letters help you to revel in the perfect

imperfections of your own relationships, to celebrate the

silliness, bask in the sensuality, and reap the infinite

rewards of wabi sabi love!

Forever in Bloom..

Dear Brian,

July 18, 1997 was the day my life changed forever.

I remember waking up that morning with butterflies in my stomach…even though I

was about to take a short business trip to Portland, my body new something was up!

The plan was simple: I was going to see one of my authors, Nick, to supervise a video

shoot. Nick’s business partner, some guy named Brian, (look for a tall man with salt

& pepper hair in a silver car), would pick me up at the airport.

In 24 hours I would be home.

What was there to be nervous about???

I remember walking out of the airport and seeing you standing next to your car.

In that instant I knew you were someone special.

Within hours, I was sure we were meant to be together.

My earliest impressions of you were: he’s very kind, handsome, strong, confident, and

sexy!

Today, nearly 15 years later, all of those impressions are still true only now I know

with 100% certainty that you are also deeply loving, generous, fascinating, fun, funny,

intuitive, massively athletic, super smart, courageous, compassionate, consistent,

loyal, selfless, spiritual and so much more. Your open heart, love of humanity and

curious mind make you the most interesting person I’ve ever met.

87

Everyday with you is a fabulous adventure and I feel so grateful to share my life

with you.

You are my soulmate.

My twin-flame.

My best friend, lover, partner, healer and teacher.

You have taught me the meaning of love and loving.

You have shown me what true partnership is.

You have healed my spirit and soul at the deepest level.

And you have taught me, by example, how to be a more loving, kind,

compassionate and generous person.

You are my down comforter, my safe place to land, my biggest supporter and my

greatest ally.

With you I have the daily experience of being loved, being seen, being heard, being

appreciated, and being connected in ways that I never dreamed possible. I am

a better, bigger, ME, because of YOU.

My deepest prayer is that I can make you as happy as you have made me.

Love always,

Arielle

WOW!!

Thank YOU my Beloved Arielle for this precious Love Letter—just one more expres-

sion of LOVE from YOU that will be etched in my heart forever!!

And I do, too, remember that first magical encounter at the Airport (as if it was yes-

terday) when you came through the revolving glass doors—YOU absolutely took my

breath away and my heartbeat immediately began to tap dance on my Soul. This feel-

ing quickly but effortlessly moved to an exquisite Ballet that began to generate a beau-

tiful and nourishing rhythm that seemed to lift my spirit to the Cosmos and beyond,

A primordial pulse, a feeling and inner sound that seemed like it was an Orchestra-

tion from the Heavens—and then a soothing and comforting inner voice whispered in

my ear…You are HOME Brian…..this is the beautiful woman you’ve been dreaming

about…your Soulmate!!

And now, 15 years later and breathing in this juicy love letter, I have that same instant

blasting open of my heart and that nurturing and deep feeling of gratitude and appre-

ciation for YOU and the remembering that my HOME is the 24/7 love and devotion

for our sacred union. In fact the thought that comes over me at this very moment is I’m

a little off with our 1+ 1= 11 Soulmate Formula…..Our LOVE actually FEELS like its

expanded to 1 + 1= A MILLION GAZILLION + INFINITY!!!!

My LOVE for you keeps expanding, growing and getting infinitely richer and more

delicious every day…absolutely GROOVY-LICIOUS indeed Arielle!! And we’ve been

87

Everyday with you is a fabulous adventure and I feel so grateful to share my life

with you.

You are my soulmate.

My twin-flame.

My best friend, lover, partner, healer and teacher.

You have taught me the meaning of love and loving.

You have shown me what true partnership is.

You have healed my spirit and soul at the deepest level.

And you have taught me, by example, how to be a more loving, kind,

compassionate and generous person.

You are my down comforter, my safe place to land, my biggest supporter and my

greatest ally.

With you I have the daily experience of being loved, being seen, being heard, being

appreciated, and being connected in ways that I never dreamed possible. I am

a better, bigger, ME, because of YOU.

My deepest prayer is that I can make you as happy as you have made me.

Love always,

Arielle

WOW!!

Thank YOU my Beloved Arielle for this precious Love Letter—just one more expres-

sion of LOVE from YOU that will be etched in my heart forever!!

And I do, too, remember that first magical encounter at the Airport (as if it was yes-

terday) when you came through the revolving glass doors—YOU absolutely took my

breath away and my heartbeat immediately began to tap dance on my Soul. This feel-

ing quickly but effortlessly moved to an exquisite Ballet that began to generate a beau-

tiful and nourishing rhythm that seemed to lift my spirit to the Cosmos and beyond,

A primordial pulse, a feeling and inner sound that seemed like it was an Orchestra-

tion from the Heavens—and then a soothing and comforting inner voice whispered in

my ear…You are HOME Brian…..this is the beautiful woman you’ve been dreaming

about…your Soulmate!!

And now, 15 years later and breathing in this juicy love letter, I have that same instant

blasting open of my heart and that nurturing and deep feeling of gratitude and appre-

ciation for YOU and the remembering that my HOME is the 24/7 love and devotion

for our sacred union. In fact the thought that comes over me at this very moment is I’m

a little off with our 1+ 1= 11 Soulmate Formula…..Our LOVE actually FEELS like its

expanded to 1 + 1= A MILLION GAZILLION + INFINITY!!!!

My LOVE for you keeps expanding, growing and getting infinitely richer and more

delicious every day…absolutely GROOVY-LICIOUS indeed Arielle!! And we’ve been

89

SO blessed with generating all sorts of fun and creative ways to play and work togeth-

er-- -which seems like it spans lifetimes filled with unlimited joy and unfettered won-

der. We’ve truly been fortunate to explore and travel the World side by side, and to

this very day, we continue to experience the beauty and grace of other cultures, distant

and exotic countries and STILL have the constant desire (and Love for each other) to

just sit on a beach holding hands, “smootching” as often as possible and gazing at the

Stars and beyond dreaming up new adventures and interesting and cool ventures that

hopefully make a difference in the World—cheers my love!!…And most definitely for

ME Arielle today I still live each second with THE SAME INTOXICATING FEELING

of excitement and curiosity, that same heart and Soul recognition, that same “Tap

Dance” and “Ballet” and gorgeous and heavenly music that lifted my spirits when I

laid my eyes on YOU and started this divine conspiracy of 2 people finding their way

HOME almost 16 years ago—Double WOW!!

And Arielle, please allow me to lovingly remind YOU that all your prayers have been

met because you’ve made me the happiest guy on the Planet. It is SO easy to “smile in

my sleep” cuddling up to YOU every night. My cup overflows with love, inspiration,

respect, admiration and devotion for YOU and our continued journey that we’ll share

exploring our Soulmate connection, our sacred contract and ALL the incredible and

amazing FUN we’re going to dream up together…Wooo-Hooo!!.

In fact I will end my LOVE LETTER to YOU with 2 promises my love…the vow I made

on our Wedding Day will continue forever and live deeper in my heart today and the

years to come…Each night before we fall asleep I will acknowledge my love for YOU

and each morning when we awake for another beautiful day of honor and privilege

for the gift granted the two of us for the opportunity to share a magical life filled with

LOVE, FRIENDSHIP and ROMANCE.

And that “soft place” for YOU always to land that I promised will continue to only get

bigger, brighter, warmer, more comfy, more nurturing and nourishing to your soul

and fill your heart with the trust that “this soft place to land” will always be there no

matter what you are experiencing, feeling or going through…most importantly this

“soft place” will be there for YOU to always remember and feel secure that you are

unconditionally loved by the luckiest guy in the World… And that I will always do my

best to express that LOVE in a MILLION GAZILLION ways!!!!!!

Your Best Friend, Twin Flame and Lover who sends you everlasting hugs, love and

kisses for making my life so wildly blissful and joyfully meaningful….

bri bri

89

SO blessed with generating all sorts of fun and creative ways to play and work togeth-

er-- -which seems like it spans lifetimes filled with unlimited joy and unfettered won-

der. We’ve truly been fortunate to explore and travel the World side by side, and to

this very day, we continue to experience the beauty and grace of other cultures, distant

and exotic countries and STILL have the constant desire (and Love for each other) to

just sit on a beach holding hands, “smootching” as often as possible and gazing at the

Stars and beyond dreaming up new adventures and interesting and cool ventures that

hopefully make a difference in the World—cheers my love!!…And most definitely for

ME Arielle today I still live each second with THE SAME INTOXICATING FEELING

of excitement and curiosity, that same heart and Soul recognition, that same “Tap

Dance” and “Ballet” and gorgeous and heavenly music that lifted my spirits when I

laid my eyes on YOU and started this divine conspiracy of 2 people finding their way

HOME almost 16 years ago—Double WOW!!

And Arielle, please allow me to lovingly remind YOU that all your prayers have been

met because you’ve made me the happiest guy on the Planet. It is SO easy to “smile in

my sleep” cuddling up to YOU every night. My cup overflows with love, inspiration,

respect, admiration and devotion for YOU and our continued journey that we’ll share

exploring our Soulmate connection, our sacred contract and ALL the incredible and

amazing FUN we’re going to dream up together…Wooo-Hooo!!.

In fact I will end my LOVE LETTER to YOU with 2 promises my love…the vow I made

on our Wedding Day will continue forever and live deeper in my heart today and the

years to come…Each night before we fall asleep I will acknowledge my love for YOU

and each morning when we awake for another beautiful day of honor and privilege

for the gift granted the two of us for the opportunity to share a magical life filled with

LOVE, FRIENDSHIP and ROMANCE.

And that “soft place” for YOU always to land that I promised will continue to only get

bigger, brighter, warmer, more comfy, more nurturing and nourishing to your soul

and fill your heart with the trust that “this soft place to land” will always be there no

matter what you are experiencing, feeling or going through…most importantly this

“soft place” will be there for YOU to always remember and feel secure that you are

unconditionally loved by the luckiest guy in the World… And that I will always do my

best to express that LOVE in a MILLION GAZILLION ways!!!!!!

Your Best Friend, Twin Flame and Lover who sends you everlasting hugs, love and

kisses for making my life so wildly blissful and joyfully meaningful….

bri bri