ASSOCIATE NOTESWinter 2015

Regional UpdatesGreg Mason Reflects on Loss

Outreach to AlumsWe’re Going International!

Interview with Andrés Pardo

2 WINTER 2015 ASSOCIATE NOTES

updates | regional news

A Maryland Xaverian Associates Group met on Sunday, October 16th at Chuck and Kay Belzner’s home in Kingsville, Maryland. It was a beautiful day of fellowship, sharing, prayer, and, of course, great food! Brothers and Associates discussed ways in which they could reach out to young people.

Steve Ultrino won his election for State Representative in Massachusetts (33rd Middlesex). He was inaugurated on January 7th in the State House.

Chris Irr got engaged in November. He and his fiancee, Regina, are getting married in Houston, Texas—where Regina grew up—on April 24, 2015.

Maryland

Upcoming Meetings

New York Saturday, March 7, 2015

Maryland Saturday, April 11, 2015

The New England Associates met on Saturday, November 22. The meeting was held at Xaverian Brothers High School, Westwood, Mass. Brother Joe Pawlika led the gathering in a quiet , meditative prayer. Since the Associates and Brothers had not met recently, time was spent on updating each other on the events and concerns which had occurred in their lives. After updating, the remainder of the meeting was spent on planning. The group has decided to meet on the third Saturday of each month. A different Associate will facilitate each meeting as well as decide on the theme or topic for the meeting. The location for these gatherings will be one of the Massachusetts Xaverian Schools or residences. The meeting was remarkable due to the very energetic participation and creative contributions by all the Associates and Brothers.

New England

On Saturday, November 22, 2014 three Brothers and nine Associ-ates gathered at Our Lady Help of Christians in Brooklyn. Following Mass in the Church, the group met and focused on giving thanks and commitments to prayer, service and relationship to the Xaverian Brothers. With various saints and other inspirational people in mind, the group reflected on why we pray and how has prayer changed our lives, our service and how this has affected us and our relationship with the Xaverian Brothers. Time was given to reading, reflection and comments from the participants. The Associates meeting was coordinated/prepared by Associate Don Reilly and hosted by Brother Jim Smith.

New York

3ASSOCIATE NOTES WINTER 2015

updates

A joint committee of Associates and BrotherCoordinators met at the Generalate and over conference call on Wednesday, January 28th to discuss several issues concerning the Program. This was the first committee and planning meeting that Brother Paul Murray has led since being chosen by Brother Edward Driscoll to take over leadership of the Associate Program in October.

Among other agenda items taken up was the subject of regionalization. The members of the committee expressed strong support for the regionalization of activities and gatherings, as well as the recruitment and orientation of new members. However, several stressed the need to continue to provide opportunities for all Associate members to gather; such as the biannual recommitment retreat.

The committee discussed how to get input from the Associates and Brothers regarding the future of the program. Mike Buckley has developed a survey for this purpose. And that survey will be sent out to all Associates in the coming months.

Kevin Shearer, Bro. Cornie Hubbuch, and Bro. Mike McCarthy agreed to form a sub-committee to begin working on the details of a Summer 2016 Associate Retreat.

The committee hopes to meet again, face-to-face, in April.

New video staring our Associates!For the Year of Consecrated Life, Pope Francis has asked that religious orders consider looking gratefully at their recent past, living the present with passion, and embracing the future with hope. The Brothers see the Associates as a sign of living the future with hope. So when they were putting together materials to present to the XBSS network, they decided to produce a video staring the Associates. You can find the video on the Brothers’ YouTube Channel (youtube.com/LivingtheCharism). Or this URL (youtu.be/LkGQhv2N9bE) will bring you directly to the video.

Mike and Shelby McGeehin are expecting their second child! Prayers and best wishes for their growing family.

At times you will discover that

God’s ways are not your ways, and God’s thoughts

are not your thoughts. When this happens, try to surrender

yourself trustingly into the arms of your Parent God, who

knows you, understands you, and loves you.

Fundamental Principles

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The weekend of June 20th, I attended the Brothers and Associates retreat in Marriottsville, Maryland. Over the course of the weekend, Sister Donna Markham unfolded her presentation on the “Five Ordinary Mysteries.” The first mystery, Vocation, dealt with the issue of surrendering to our true selves; the individual that God created and always intended for us to be. Sister Donna remarked that a person often is most authentic in times when they feel “utterly useless” and “helpless.” In small groups, we discussed a time when we felt “useless.” I realized, through this activity, that I had led a somewhat comfortable existence compared to many other individuals. I could not think of many instances where I had truly felt helpless. Less than two weeks later, my wife Elizabeth and I found ourselves staring at the tiny, lifeless body of our daughter, Charlotte. I felt, among many other emotions, utterly useless.

The loss of an unborn child is a unique and surreal ex-perience. All of us have lost loved ones, family and friends, who we knew. We can close our eyes and retrieve memo-ries of those people, and the special places that they held in our life. With the loss of Charlotte, I found myself griev-ing the loss of someone I had never really met. How could I love someone with such depth and intensity that I had never met? I have asked myself this question many times, often as I stare at her gravestone. The emotions of the loss vary from a sense of peace, knowing that Charlotte is resting in the arms of the Father, to a sense of emptiness, wishing that she were resting in my arms.

It is also a struggle to discuss the loss with Charlotte’s brothers, James (almost four years old) and Lucas (almost two years old). Elizabeth and I do not shy away from the

topic. Charlotte will always be a part of the family, and we tell the boys that it is a wonderful thing to have an advo-cate waiting for you in heaven, especially your sister!

Even so, reminders of our loss are everywhere: cradled newborns at Sunday Mass, strollers being pushed around the neighborhood, a due date that has come and passed. It seems that so many have new babies, but we also know that many men and women are grieving like us. In the course of this experience, it has amazed Elizabeth and me just how many couples have suffered a miscarriage or stillbirth. Despite the hyper-sanitized nature of modern American life, this unique type of loss is all around us, but frequently kept private. Public grieving and mourning might be recognition of our mortality, and the mortality of those that we love.

The support of many of you in our time of loss gave us strength. Your phone calls, emails, cards and prayer intentions reminded me of why the Xaverian Brothers and Associates are so special to me. We received condolences from as far away as Kenya, and I received an especially touching email from Gwen Costello at the time. I am sure that Gwen and Charlotte are having a good time with each other now.

Over five months later, I find myself asking God, “How do we keep Charlotte alive in our hearts, among the common, ordinary, unspectacular flow of everyday life?” I truly believe that we will see her again, and it will be a joyous occasion. In the meantime, I can only keep moving forward, as a husband, father, Associate, and disciple of Christ. Ω

CharlotteGreg Mason reflects on loss.

charlotte | reflection

outreach | a meeting with xbss alumni

Xaverian ValuesKevin Shearer writes about his meeting with XBSS Alums on January 4th, and the hopes for a retreat next Winter.

As an Associate, I deeply value the opportunities provided us to share in prayer and fellowship. The retreats and regional gatherings have strengthened my personal prayer life and fortified my bond with the congregation. I am grateful to God for these experiences of true community.

However, I also desire to offer something in the way of service that would be in harmony with the ministry of the Brothers. It is my sincere belief that the Associates can contribute to the life of the congregation and support the congregation’s mission “to mani-fest God’s compassionate love to the people of the world in these times” by taking greater initiative in the planning and/or sponsoring of activities, with the appropriate approval from the Brothers.

As a Xaverian Collaborator working within our schools, I have been extremely proud of the efforts over the years to instill within our students an understanding of Xaverian history and an appre-ciation for the Xaverian charism. I greatly admire the work done by Alice Hession in this regard.

These efforts have been successful and for many of our students the “Xaverian Way” is ingrained in their being by the time they graduate. Furthermore many of these students sincerely desire to hold on to their Xaverian roots and to have an enduring personal relationship not simply with their school but more pro-foundly with the congregation and their followers. Not all but many of them thirst for this spiritual connection.

Here is where I see a gap in our ministry. Although later in adult life the congregation attempts to reconnect with these former stu-dents, for many understandable reasons we do not seem to have any structured, formal means of maintaining a spiritual sphere of influence in the lives of these young adults. During these college

years—a critical time for moral, ethical, and spiritual development—we have largely been absent. Thus, after laying such a vitally im-portant foundation, we leave them largely at the mercy of societal influences counter to our Xaverian spiritual values and we miss the opportunity to strengthen their connection to the order.

It is by attempting in small ways to partially fill this gap that I see a great opportunity for some of the Associates to contribute to the Xaverian ministry in a specific and concrete manner. Plus this effort could bear much fruit as we may find some of the young men and women eager to deepen their connection to the order as they move into and live through their adult years.

• • •While I know the example I am about to give is based on a min-

iscule sample size and lacked diversity, I still believe it is significant. I personally invited twelve young people to the meeting at my home (January 4, 2015). Some, but less than half, had participated in the XBSS retreat. All of them indicated a desire to be present and to work on this project. Unfortunately, two were out of town on that date and two cancelled due to the flu. However even those four were adamant about their desire to participate and their belief in the project. The eight (8) that did attend were sincere, enthu-siastic, and inspiring in a way that I cannot capture adequately in words. Again I believe it is significant that 5 of the 8 expressed a desire to learn more about being a Xaverian Brother; 8 out of 8 expressed a desire for learning more about the Associate Program; and 8 out of 8 indicated that they would be very interested in par-ticipating, either in the Summer or for a year upon graduation from college, in some type of Xaverian Volunteer program. In addition they were energized as they worked in groups to develop a plan for a “College-Student Xaverian Retreat” and to brainstorm other outreach ideas. At the end of the day, they requested of me to meet again in the Summer, should the project to get the go ahead, so that they can continue to contribute.

On another level, their prayer and sharing time was emotion-ally and spiritually moving, touching all of our hearts. They talked openly about their Xaverian roots, the messages they had received and the values they had learned. They also spoke candidly about the challenges to living the Xaverian spiritual virtues within the college environment. For all of them compassion is still very much a part of who they are and they have zeal for service and social justice. Humility, trust, and simplicity presented greater challenges. In addition, each of them talked about their struggles in finding a “Martha-Mary” balance. It was evident that they long for a contin-ued Xaverian connection as they strive to be the men God intends them to be. Ω

Update: Kevin presented his report on the meeting to the Associate Coordinators Committee and proposed moving forward on booking a date for a Winter Retreat next year in Baltimore. We are moving forward on booking January 2, 2016 at Bon Secours Retreat Center. The students have of-fered to help planning. If you’d like to get involved with the initiative, contact Kevin Shearer.

7ASSOCIATE NOTES WINTER 2015

outreach

The Xaverian calling is a way of being in our place in the world...a place of humility and simplicity from which we find the grace to turn towards God, fall in love with God, and put ourselves in God’s service.

From the preamble to “A Description of the Xaverian Charism.”Kevin had this quote at the beginning of the reflection pamphlet he used with the students in January.

As Kevin mentioned, a large focus of the students’ reflection at the January gathering was on the five Xaverian Spiritual Values that are taught within the XBSS network. Those values are, Humility, Trust, Zeal, Compassion, and Simplicity. The students have been formed in these values throughout their high school days, so they are a great starting point for reflection as they are in college and encounter new spiritual challenges. Kevin asked the students, “Of the 5 Xaverian Spiritual values, which is the one that is easiest for you to demonstrate as a college students? Which is the one that is the greatest struggle or challange to live as a college student? Which is the one that is most true of ingrained in you? Which is the one you most need to nurture within you?”

In addition to reflections on the Spiritual Values, Kevin asked the students to reflect on “the biggest challenge to your faith life in college?” and “what way the Brothers and Associates can be of support to you, as a college

Brian Shearer (Kevin’s son, left) and classmate, Eddie Seyfried, from Mount Saint Joseph’s visited a Maryland Associate meeting last April and shared about a mission trip that they made to Haiti.

student?” These last two questions, are perhaps, the most important for us as Associates if we wish to continue to respond to the needs of these young people. What are the challenges they face, and how can we be of service? These, of course, would be the questions we would want to ask ourselves in regard to any population we wish to serve. These questions ask us to listen, be humble, and respond with love.

This outreach to our XBSS alums will hopefully bear fruit, and draw more people into this project of community that we have all began together. It started with a simple letter of invitation at the end of the last school year, and is now moving toward a day long retreat. A simple plan, but one that strengthens our community and sense of shared mission.

As regional groups continue to pray for ways to reach out to others with zeal, trust, humility, compassion, and simplicity. Ω

8 WINTER 2015 ASSOCIATE NOTES

communion | bolivian associates

Bolivian SociosBy Brother Michael McCarthy

During the 90’s an Associate Program was started in Bolivia. And while the program eventually disolved, there are a number of people in Bolivia who deeply admire the Brothers and desire to reignite a program there. Brother Michael recollects the brief history of the Bolivian Socios, and talks about prospects for a new program.

Under the leadership of Bro. Matthew Burke and his provincial council, Xaverian ministry outreach in Bolivia expanded during the 1990’s. In addition to the opening of our mission in Chinguri, the inauguration of a formation program for Bolivian candidates, the reception of American volunteers, and several new American Brothers going to Bolivia, we initiated the Bolivian Associate Program.

Initial gatherings consisted of a small group of lay people who were interested in a deeper connection with the brothers in Bolivia. Along with the Brothers themselves, we had in attendance an Italian doctor who had been volunteering at Chinguri; an American volunteer and his Peruvian wife from Carmen Pampa; two alumni of our school in Carmen Pampa and their wives. In the time we spent together we read and reflected on the Xaverian Fundamental Principals which had been translated into Spanish, framed with times of quiet and group sharing, Sunday liturgy and lively participation at meals.

There was a great feeling of solidarity and mutual respect between the Xaverians and our friends in Bolivia. We met at our newest ministry outreaches: the formation house in Cochabamba as well as at La Senora del Rosario Educational Center in Chinguri. Everyone had to do some traveling since the participants were serving in three different geographical regions of Bolivia. We met on a long weekend or over part of the school vacation time.

As the years brought changes to members of the group, we stopped the meetings. However, at this time in early 2015, several of our early Bolivian associates are interested in resurrecting the Associate Program in Bolivia, ensuring a continued contact with the Xaverian charism, one they inherited from the brothers who had taught and guided them over their formative years. Several brothers in Baltimore are presently meeting to take practical steps in honoring these wishes despite the fact that at the present time only one brother continues to live and serve in Bolivia. Ω

9ASSOCIATE NOTES WINTER 2015

communion

Another meeting of the original group of Bolivian Socios in November 1993.

Brother Michael McCarthy (left) with Andrés Pardo, long-time friend of the Brothers and participant in the Bolivian Associate Program.

A photo of an Asociados Xaverianos meeting on June 9, 1993.

10 WINTER 2015 ASSOCIATE NOTES

Conducted in August 2013, the following interview has been edited and abridged for clearity.

Andrés Pardo has known the Brothers since 1968 when he arrived in Carmen Pampa to attend the Brothers’ high school. In an interview last year Andrés explained how he got to Carmen Pampa:

I was living in the northeast part of Bolivia, where there was a Franciscan parish. I learned from them that there was a new high school. The priest told us that if we wanted to go there we would have to take an exam. The parish was about ten hours walking from my house, so I went with two other friends and took the exam. I made it into Carmen Pampa.

When I arrived, the first person I saw was Brother Nilus. I went into the school and stayed there for two years—7th and 8th grade—then the other four grades of high school. I finished high school there back in 1972. We were the first group of students who graduated from high school.

After graduating from Carmen Pampa, Andrés was invited to continue his education at a teaching preparatory program. He spent three years in that program, gaining all the credentials and certifications required to teach in Bolivia. He received a job at a small school about three hours from Carmen Pampa.

One day I was walking on the road and a Jeep came

by and stopped. There was Brother Nilus. He asked me what I was doing around here. I said, “I work here in this school.” “Oh,” and then he said, “will you come one of these weekends to visit us?” I said, “yeah, I will.”

On Saturday he comes to my school and asks me if I wanted to visit him. So I went with him to Carmen Pampa and that went on for another two or three weeks. And one of those weekends he said, “would you be willing to work with us here in Carmen Pampa?” And I said, “Yeah…yes.” And he said something like, “Would you like to work with us for five years?” And I said, “uhhh…OK!” And I stayed with them for 20 years. We started in ‘77 and when the Brothers left Carmen Pampa in ’97, I left with them. When they were gone I was gone. So since then I started working in Coroico, where I lived.

Andrés’ appreciation for the Brothers was strong from his time at Carmen Pampa. The Brothers came to the area at a time when there were no other educational options in the region.

When they came to Bolivia there was nothing in that part of Bolivia. Nothing. It was the first high school in the area. I was living something like ten or twelve hours away and it was the only school around. If it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t have gotten an education. There was hardly enough roads to get to that place.

We have a university now in Carmen Pampa. That »

Andrés Pardo worked for years with Brothers in Bolivia. He was also an Associate, and is interested in reigniting the Program there.

Work With UsAn interview with Andrés Pardo, former student, collaborator, and associate to the Brothers in Boliva.

interview | andre pardo

11ASSOCIATE NOTES WINTER 2015

wouldn’t be there if there wasn’t a high school before. And a lot of the people who were in the high school have the chance to continue that education. In that area it’s the only university. We will get people from everywhere. And that happened because the Brothers started the whole thing. Whenever I am asked about the history of Carmen Pampa, I say this university is here just because some Brothers had the idea of starting education here. That is really what happened.

And then another thing is the quality of education that we got from them. You know, I learned not only arithmetic, but I learned algebra, trigonometry, analytic geometry with them. So in my case it was easy to start teaching math because I already had it in high school.

But Andrés’ appreciation for the Brothers was also more personal than the schooling that he received. And that personal formation has perhaps been the most enduring aspect of his relationship with the Brothers.

My Father died when I was eight years old. So when I came to Carmen Pampa they were really my parents. I would see Nilus and Martin as the ones who really formed us. When we went to visit Martin in Easter this year it was not just because we know him, it was because we see him as the one who gave so much to our lives. So now we are planning on going back there and stay there for two days, a week, doing whatever we can do. He is an old man now and we see he needs help (Since the time of this interview, Brother Martin Boone has returned to the US and is living at Ryken House in Louisville).

This whole thing has to be done with the Spirit that the Brothers left with us. That spirit is still there. Even though many Brothers have left, there are hundreds of people that were formed by the Brothers; they are still there and they are doing things based on what they got from the Brothers. As I was saying to Michael [McCarthy], many times

when I meet with former students, some of whom are in the highest level of government—we have one who is a Senator now. Every time I meet him he says, “what can I do? How can I help?” He’s now helping the grammar school in Carmen Pampa. He helped to build a whole new building for the grammar school. Things like that happen just because they get that from the Brothers, it’s as simple as that.

Andrés still loves the Brothers. At the time of this interview, he was visiting the States for two weeks, meeting with a group of people in Boston that do work for his university down in La Paz. He was very pleased to be able to make a flight down to Baltimore to visit some of his dear friends, the Xaverian Brothers. Andrés was part of the original Bolivian Socios group in the 90’s.

When I was in high school I wanted to be a Brother—a Xaverian Brother. In those times, I think that was not possible. But then when I got married, me and my wife and two other friends—one of them is also a former student from Carmen Pampa—we’re always asking how we can do something with the Brothers in order to continue what they did with us. So Martin was down there. For sometime Hugo Hammer was there. They encouraged us to get together, pray, talk about our plans as family. We had some meetings in Cochabamba and some of them in Chinguri. Cochabamba is about ten hours from Carmen Pampa, so we used to travel there and stay with the Brothers for some days. After twenty years with the Brothers in Carmen Pampa, I feel that I am a Xaverian in many ways. I learned a lot from them. The Brothers really offered me a change of life. I have now been to Belgium. I have been to the States. That was not going to be possible if I didn’t know the Brothers. I was blessed by what they did with my life.

And another thing that I would really like to say after that visit to Martin. We [Andrés and 7 other former students] went in and started catching up. And we brought a lot of things from town because our plan was to prepare the meal and have a meal with him. And we said, “have you eaten yet?” He said, “no.” And he wasn’t planning on eating that night, I think, because we couldn’t find anything in his kitchen. There was nothing. So we cooked and we had the meal and after that he started asking about people he knew: “Do you know where he is now?” “What is he doing?” It was 2 AM when we went to bed. You know, caring for others is really what, to me, Christianity means. And talking about people who you knew and who are a part of your life is what I think the Brothers really care about. It’s that love for God through other people that is really what the Brothers have. It’s that relationship that I think is still going with us. They are part of us in our lives—but here [in Bolivia] are hundreds of people that now have the same spirit. I think that’s the most important part.

What’s happening now in my life unconsciously, I am doing the same with my students. I have 92 students in my department and I know everyone of them. And I think that happened with the Brothers. That’s something I got from them. Ω

interview

In March 2013, Andrés and seven other former students visited Brother Martin Boone in Chinguri, Bolivia.

A Concluding PrayerAdapted from the closing prayer of Kevin Shearer’s gathering of students in January.

Loving God, Creator of all that surrounds us,

May we know your presence among us as we journey through these years.

May our hearts be open to your Word and May the Word take root in us.

May we remember our Xaverian rootedness and use that rootedness to ground us.

May we manifest Your care and compassionate love to the people of the world in these times.

And may we strive each day to be the people that You intend us to be.

Be with us and bless us in the name of Jesus

Amen.