ALBERT EINSTEIN:

I cannot conceive of a God who rewards and punishes his [sic] creatures, or has a will of the

type of which we are conscious ourselves.

BERTRAND RUSSELL:

In conclusion, there is a marvelous anecdote from the occasion of Russell's ninetieth

birthday that best serves to summarize his attitude toward God and religion. A London lady

sat next to him at this party, and over the soup she suggested to him that he was not only

the world's most famous atheist but, by this time, very probably the world's oldest atheist.

"What will you do, Bertie, if it turns out you're wrong?" she asked. "I mean, what if -- uh --

when the time comes, you should meet Him? What will you say?" Russell was delighted with

the question. His bright, birdlike eyes grew even brighter as he contemplated this possible

future dialogue, and then he pointed a finger upward and cried, "Why, I should say, 'God,

you gave us insufficient evidence.'"

Al Seckel, in Preface to Bertrand Russell on God and Religion

CLARENCE DARROW:

I do not believe in God because I do not believe in Mother Goose.

CLARENCE DARROW:

I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not

pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.

Scopes trial, Dayton, Tennessee, July 13, 1925

DENNIS MCKINSEY:

If God kills, lies, cheats, discriminates, and otherwise behaves in a manner that puts the

Mafia to shame, that's okay, he's God. He can do whatever he wants. Anyone who adheres

to this philosophy has had his sense of morality, decency, justice and humaneness warped

beyond recognition by the very book that is supposedly preaching the opposite. [newsletter

Biblical Errancy ]

DON HIRSCHBERG:

Calling Atheism a religion is like calling bald a hair color.

EMMA GOLDMAN:

The philosophy of Atheism represents a concept of life without any metaphysical Beyond or

Divine Regulator. It is the concept of an actual, real world with its liberating, expanding and

beautifying possibilities, as against an unreal world, which, with its spirits, oracles, and mean

contentment has kept humanity in helpless degradation.

FRANCIS BACON:

Atheism leaves a man to sense, to philosophy, to natural piety, to laws, to reputation; all of

which may be guides to an outward moral virtue, even if religion vanished; but religious

superstition dismounts all these and erects an absolute monarchy in the minds of men.

FREDERICK DOUGLASS:

The church of this country is not only indifferent to the wrongs of the slave, it actually takes

sides with the oppressors.... For my part, I would say, welcome infidelity! Welcome atheism!

Welcome anything! in preference to the gospel, as preached by these Divines! They convert

the very name of religion into an engine of tyranny and barbarous cruelty, and serve to

confirm more infidels, in this age, than all the infidel writings of Thomas Paine, Voltaire, and

Bolingbroke put together have done!

G.K. CHESTERTON:

I always like a dog so long as he isn't spelled backward.

GEORGE SANTAYANA:

My atheism, like that of Spinoza, is true piety towards the universe and denies only gods

fashioned by men in their own image to be servants of their human interests.

GORE VIDAL:

I'm a born-again atheist.

HENNY YOUNGMAN:

I once wanted to become an atheist but I gave up . . . they have no holidays.

JANE WAGNER:

One thing I have no worry about is whether God exists. But it has occurred to me that God

has Alzheimer's and has forgotten we exist.

The Search for Intelligent Life in the Universe, performed by Lily Tomlin, 1986

JOHN DIETRICH:

The President of the United States summons the nation to church on Thanksgiving Day to

give thanks to "Almighty God" for the abundant harvest and all other blessings. But what

has Almighty God -- I have no desire to appear irreverent -- what has Almighty God as a

personal being to do with the harvests? If it is he who produces our crops, then being

Almighty there should never be a failure of crops. But since crops frequently fail, it follows

that there is no Almighty person in charge of them -- unless he brings failure purposely.

Therefore, if God is to be thanked for large crops, he must be blamed when the crops are a

failure. . . . If God sends the rain and the sunshine which develops and ripens our wheat,

who sends the storms and the insects which destroy much of it? And if he sends both, then

why not thank him for one and blame him for the other?

JOHN LOVEJOY ELLIOTT:

I have known many good people who did not believe in God. But I have never known a

human being who was good who did not believe in people. [language slightly modified]

NOAM CHOMSKY:

How do I define God? I don't.... People who find such conceptions important for themselves

have every right to frame them as they like. Personally, I don't. That's why you haven't

found my "thoughts on this [for you] criticaI question." I have none, because I see no need

for them (apart from the -- often extremely interesting and revealing -- inquiry into human

culture an history).

This entry continued ...

PEARL S. BUCK:

When men destroy their old gods they will find new ones to take their place.

PEARL S. BUCK:

Believing in gods always causes confusion.

PROTAGORAS:

As to the gods, I have no means of knowing either that they exist or do not exist.

QUENTIN CRISP:

When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience

stood up and said, "Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in

whom you don't believe?"

ROBERT INGERSOLL:

My creed:

To love justice, to long for the right,

to love mercy,

to pity the suffering, to assist the weak,

This entry continued ...

ROBERT INGERSOLL:

Few nations have been so poor as to have but one god. Gods were made so easily, and the

raw material cost so little, that generally the god market was fairly glutted and heaven

crammed with these phantoms.

ROMAN TOMBSTONE:

Do not pass by my epitaph, traveler.

But having stopped, listen and learn, then go your way.

There is no boat in Hades, no ferryman Charon,

No caretaker Aiakos, no dog Cerberus.

All we who are dead below

Have become bones and ashes, but nothing else.

I have spoken to you honestly, go on, traveler,

Lest even while dead I seem loquacious to you.

SIR JULIAN HUXLEY:

Today the god hypothesis has ceased to be scientifically tenable ... and its abandonment

often brings a deep sense of relief. Many people assert that this abandonment of the god

hypothesis means the abandonment of all religion and all moral sanctions. This is simply not

true. But it does mean, once our relief at jettisoning an outdated piece of ideological

furniture is over, that we must construct some thing to take its place.

The New Divinity

SUSAN B. ANTHONY:

I tell them I have worked 40 years to make the W.S. platform broad enough for Atheists and

Agnostics to stand upon, and now if need be I will fight the next 40 to keep it Catholic

enough to permit the straightest Orthodox religionist to speak or pray and count her beads

upon.

on the Women's Suffrage platform

THOMAS JEFFERSON:

Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more

approve of the homage of reason, than that of blind-folded fear.

WENDY KAMINER:

I don't spend much time thinking about whether God exists. I don't consider that a relevant

question. It's unanswerable and irrelevant to my life, so I put it in the category of things I

can't worry about.