• Attitudes that we accept as children are usually the attitudes we embrace as adults.• Our experiences and how we choose to react to them also form our attitudes.• Reinforcement of our foundational attitudes whether positive or negative makes them stronger.• It constantly needs adjustment in order to perform effectively. So attitude formation is a continual process of adjustment.

•Personality : Who I am•Environment : What’s around me•Word expression : What I hear•Adult Acceptance : What I feel•Self Image : How I see myself•Exposure to new : Opportunities for growth Expression•Association with peers : Who influence me•Physical Appearance : How I look to others•Marriage, family, job : My security & status

•Aggression is a negative behaviour that is associated with anger. Aggression can be turned inward or outward. Aggression turned inward corrodes the person. Aggression expressed outwardly have negative effects.

Depression is accompanied by feeling and sadness, indifference remorse, guilt, worry etc. He / she is usually a non-assertive person.

You can say that he/she is depressed, when he

* is intensely shy

* has feelings of Inferiority

* can not stand up his rights

* agrees too readily with opinions of others

* unsure of himself and afraid of everything afraid.

they are not unassertive in all situations. When pushed beyond the tolerance they become assertive. They have high level of frustration tolerance.

Unassertive people are dominated because they allowed it.

Passive people are trained by Aggressive people to passive. Aggressive people are trained by passive people to be

aggressive.

passive people suffer from fear of: a) fear of injury b) fear of failure c) fear of hurting other’s feeling

d) fear of rejection e) fear of financial insecurity

We should not disagree with people whom we respect like our parents.

“If he is convinced, he’s right”

“I am not educated enough”

“ The issue that is frustrating me isn’t really a big deal.

“I always keep making mistakes” and being reminded by the phrase “I told you so “.

If you really love me, you wouldn’t…….”

It’s my nature.

Have pity for others and not saying or doing what necessary

Assertion is a direct, honest expression of feelings and desires. Assertion techniques emphasize firmness. Assertion is not being aggressive.

Self assertion Aggression

1. Tells what they want without 1. Demands that things go their getting angry. Way and get angry if doesn’t

2. Are not revengeful. 2. Punish those who don’t listen

3. Do not dominate. 3. Dominate others

4. Do not feel superior 4. Feel superior all the time.

While still young and weak an elephant is tied by a heavy chain to an immovable iron stake. He discovers that, no matter how hard he tries he cannot break or move the stake. When it grows large and strong it still continues to believe that it cannot move as long as it sees the stake in the ground besides him.

Many intelligent adults behave like the thought by being restrained in thought, action and results. They never move beyond the boundaries of self imposed limitation. This is a limiting barrier. Every time we attempt to break through the barrier there is accompanying pain – both physical and emotional.

1. FEAR OF FAILURE: We all are afraid of the word failure. The foremost reason is that everyone of us pretend to be successful. But remember one thing that “ The man who never made a mistake never did any thing. The persistence of a person who encounters failure is one sign of healthy attitude.

2. DREAD OF DISCOURAGEMENT: We are all subject to the periods of discouragement that can sweep us into the danger zone.

Discouragement : hurts our self image causes as to evade our responsibilities

causes us to blame others for our predicament. Causes us to blur the facts.

3. THE CRITCISM THAT HURTS: We always hurt ourselves when our reaction toward those criticize us become negative.

4. THE PRESENCE OF PROBLEMS:At times we become “flooded” with problems. It is the number of difficulties more than the size of any one problem that wears us down.

5. CONFLICT OF CHANGE: We resist nothing more than change. We are creatures of habit. We first forms habits, then habits forms us. Many times we enjoy the rewards of change, but endure its process.

6. NEGETIVE THINKING: Our challenge is to think right in a negative world. Negative thoughts produce negative actions, positive thoughts produce positive actions.

NEGETIVE THINKING does many detrimental things to our life: It creates clouds at critical decision times.

It is contagious.

It blows everything out of proportion.

It limits our potential.

It keeps us from enjoying life.

It hinders others from making a +ve response

Maintain the right attitude when time become difficult. When external circumstances lead to wrong internal reactions we have problems. As result we tempt to be panic and make bad attitude decision and we thus “crush”

Realize that “rough weather” will not last forever. It is difficult to remember this truth.

Try to make major decisions before the storm. Many storms can be avoided by thinking and planning ahead. To avoid some potential storms in life, we must have the following requirements: a) Experience b) Knowledge

c) Time d) Facts

Efficiency is the characteristics of the person with right attitude. An efficient person will be able to do his best in whatever he or she does. An efficient person is thus productive. The person with a positive attitude will seek to achieve and do his best. People usually think that if we were in a better position in the job their attitudes would be more positive. It has been shown that promotion do not give an individual an outstanding attitude but an outstanding attitude usually results in promotion.

Our attitude at the beginning of a task will affect its outcome more than anything else.

Attitude also determines relationships with people. Others do not always understand the individual whose attitude causes him to approach life from an entirely positive perspective. He is a person unwilling to accept “the accepted” just because it is accepted. His response to self limiting conditions will probably be a “WHY?” instead of “OKAY”. In other words, his way of thinking will be “Why can’t be done in spite of these conditions?”. He is determined to walk to the very edge of his potential or the potential of projects before he accepts defeat.

The mindset of this person allows him to start each day with a positive disposition. The future not only looks bright when the attitude is right, but the present is also much more enjoyable.

It’s against company policy.

It doesn’t fit the system.

It will never be approved.

The timing just isn’t right.

It will never be approved.

It didn’t work before.

We’re not ready for that.

I will think about it.

Let’s form a committee.

It’s never been done before.

I will never try that again.

Take it easy.

It can’t be done.

It’s out of the question.

We simply don’t have what it takes to do it

It’s too risky.

But nobody is doing it. I don’t want to be the odd one out.

1. EVALUATE YOUR PRESENT ATTITUDE.

To evaluate we need to –

a) identify problem feelings

b) identify problem behaviour

c) identify problem thinking

d) secure commitment to change

e) plan and carry out your choice

2. WRITE A STATEMENT OF PURPOSE:

In order to have direction in changing your attitude you must establish in a clearly stated goal. This goal should be as specific as possible, written out and signed with a time frame attached to it. The purpose statement should be placed in a visible spot where it can be seen several times a day to give you reinforcement. You can attain this goal by doing three things:

a) write specifically what you desire to accomplish each day b) Verbalise to your encouraging friend what you want to accomplish each day. c) Take action on what you write and verbalise what you wrote each day.

3. HAVE A DESIRE TO CHANGE

There seems to be three circumstances in our lives when we are most receptive to change :

a) When we hurt so much that we are forced to change.

b) When we are bored and become restless.

c) when we realise we can change.

4. LIVE ONE DAY AT A TIME

It is not the experience of today that drive men to distraction. It is the remorse or bitterness for something that happened yesterday and the dread of what tomorrow may bring that is frightening.

5. CHANGE YOUR THOUGHT PATTERN

William James, once said, “The greatest discovery of my generation is that people can alter their lives altering their attitudes of minds”.

Two things must be made clear about thought life –

a) we can control our thoughts.

b) our feelings come from our thoughts.

Conclusion, we can control our feelings by learning to change the way we think.

Your thought and imagery represent your blueprint. Hour by hour, moment by moment, you can build radiant health, success and happiness by the thoughts you think, the ideas which you harbour, the beliefs that you accept, and the scenes that you rehearse in the hidden studio of your mind. This stately mansion upon the construction of which you are perpetually engaged is your personality, your identity in this plane, your whole life story on this earth.

Do not prey for easy lives, pray to be stronger men! Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers, pray for powers equal to your tasks. Then the doing for your work shall be no miracle, but you yourself, at the richness of life which has come to you by the grace of God.