Author and trainer Louise Michelle BomberAuthor and trainer Louise Michelle Bomber

Was part of the SEAD project, 2011Was part of the SEAD project, 2011

Supporting children with attachment difficulties in schoolsSupporting children with attachment difficulties in schools

‘‘What About Me?’What About Me?’

Our Starting PointOur Starting Point

‘ ‘Children are not slates from Children are not slates from which the past can be rubbed by which the past can be rubbed by a duster or sponge, but human a duster or sponge, but human beings who carry their previous beings who carry their previous experiences with them and experiences with them and whose behaviour in the present whose behaviour in the present is profoundly affected by what is profoundly affected by what has gone before.’ has gone before.’

Bowlby 1951, p.114Bowlby 1951, p.114

Behind The BehaviourBehind The Behaviour

Behaviour needs to be Behaviour needs to be viewed as viewed as

communicationcommunication

Featues observed:-Featues observed:-

*Unmet primary needs *Unmet primary needs

*Developmental needs *Developmental needs

*Toxic shame*Toxic shame

*Trust issues *Trust issues

* High levels of anxiety* High levels of anxiety

* Fear & panic* Fear & panic

Secure AttachmentSecure Attachment

If a child is upset they know they If a child is upset they know they can approach an adult directly can approach an adult directly and positively, knowing that their and positively, knowing that their distress will be recognised and distress will be recognised and responded to unconditionally, responded to unconditionally, with comfort and understanding.with comfort and understanding.

““Resiliance”Resiliance”

Relational trauma and losses can impact:Relational trauma and losses can impact:

Primitive brain reactionsPrimitive brain reactions Executive functioning skillsExecutive functioning skills

Sensory integrationSensory integration Eating habits & diet/physicalEating habits & diet/physical

Attachment with othersAttachment with others Shame levelsShame levels

Need to control/hypervigilanceNeed to control/hypervigilance Anxiety levels Anxiety levels

In class we are attempting to In class we are attempting to get alongside a pupil who:get alongside a pupil who:

• Is terrified deep down of intimacyIs terrified deep down of intimacy• Has a number of developmental vulnerabilitiesHas a number of developmental vulnerabilities• Can become easily overwhelmed with toxic Can become easily overwhelmed with toxic

shameshame• Can get mixed up between the here & now and Can get mixed up between the here & now and

the pastthe past• Has a faulty alarm system inside Has a faulty alarm system inside • Is not that self awareIs not that self aware• Doesn’t trust grown upsDoesn’t trust grown ups

DistrustDistrust

‘‘Distrust is the confident expectation that Distrust is the confident expectation that another’s individual’s motives, intentions and another’s individual’s motives, intentions and behaviours are sinister and harmful to one’s behaviours are sinister and harmful to one’s own interests. In interdependent relationships own interests. In interdependent relationships this often entails a sense of fear and this often entails a sense of fear and anticipation of discomfort or danger. Distrust anticipation of discomfort or danger. Distrust normally prompts us to take steps that reduce normally prompts us to take steps that reduce our vulnerability in an attempt to protect our our vulnerability in an attempt to protect our interests...’interests...’

Roy J Lewicki & Edward C TomlinsonRoy J Lewicki & Edward C Tomlinson

(Dec 2003)(Dec 2003)

We now need to explore how to We now need to explore how to best support children with an best support children with an insecure or disorganised insecure or disorganised trauma.trauma.

Those who are distrustful, Those who are distrustful, shamed to the point of it shamed to the point of it becoming toxic, hyper vigilant, becoming toxic, hyper vigilant, struggle to settle, don’t trust and struggle to settle, don’t trust and have to be in total control.have to be in total control.

To acknowledge that behaviour is To acknowledge that behaviour is a means of communication stories a means of communication stories

Louise shares.Louise shares. dinner time storydinner time story the run awaythe run away

ChaosChaos

On paper write your routine prior On paper write your routine prior to leaving for work.to leaving for work.

Share it with another.Share it with another. Was it the same? Was it the same? Routines should be consistent to Routines should be consistent to

over come the prior chaos.over come the prior chaos. Routines should be clearly Routines should be clearly

visable.visable. Routines should minimise Routines should minimise

change. change.

Toxic ShameToxic Shame To maintain privacy to the child To maintain privacy to the child

and adults in the room. A card and adults in the room. A card on the desk instead of stuck on on the desk instead of stuck on the wall.the wall.

Use a puppet to help the child Use a puppet to help the child understand rather than the child. understand rather than the child.

A game that helps the child be A game that helps the child be lead by another.lead by another.

How long can I follow your How long can I follow your pencil. Child and then adult.pencil. Child and then adult.

Transferring supportTransferring support The child doesn’t settle well and The child doesn’t settle well and

is troubled that their parent isnt is troubled that their parent isnt with them. Write what you can with them. Write what you can do…….do…….

Home to school.Home to school.

School to home. School to home.

Key person to the child can Key person to the child can provide a higher quality care..provide a higher quality care..Page 12, Attachment Relationships Early Childhood Open University PressPage 12, Attachment Relationships Early Childhood Open University Press

High quality care is care that is High quality care is care that is

Attentive, responsive, stimulating Attentive, responsive, stimulating and affectionate.and affectionate.

Child will flourish, especially Child will flourish, especially cognitively.cognitively.

Small teams with a key person is Small teams with a key person is an ideal.an ideal.

Time in for the child, time out for Time in for the child, time out for the adult.the adult.

TranslationTranslation Two people. One has a toy. The Two people. One has a toy. The

other needs to describe the other needs to describe the other using sentences that start other using sentences that start with with

‘‘You or your…’You or your…’ Add to your sentence any Add to your sentence any

emotions the other person emotions the other person displays.displays.

SwopSwop

HypervigilanceHypervigilance

If any change then verbalise it to If any change then verbalise it to the child prior or on entry.the child prior or on entry.

Verbalise how safe we are to Verbalise how safe we are to show you understand.show you understand.

Activity that supports focus.Activity that supports focus. Short bursts of learning.Short bursts of learning. Lots of sensory activity.Lots of sensory activity.

Reading and CoursesReading and Courses

Louise BomberLouise Bomber Team Teach at SpringwellTeam Teach at Springwell CAMHSCAMHS Play therapistsPlay therapists Voluntary groups such as Voluntary groups such as

Chrysalis, Adoption YorkshireChrysalis, Adoption Yorkshire

Remember meRemember me

Build a genuine relationship with meBuild a genuine relationship with me

Tell me as it isTell me as it is

I’m watchingI’m watching

Can I trust you?Can I trust you?

Advocate for meAdvocate for me

Don’t just tell me. Show me.Don’t just tell me. Show me.

Remember my starting pointRemember my starting point

Join with meJoin with me

Are you going to hurt me too?Are you going to hurt me too?

Don’t assume anythingDon’t assume anything

Give me some space but not too muchGive me some space but not too much

Stick in there with me though I push you Stick in there with me though I push you awayaway

The Positive Impact Of The Positive Impact Of Attachment Support On PupilsAttachment Support On Pupils Sense of Sense of

belongingbelonging Sense of worth, Sense of worth,

value & dignityvalue & dignity Self awareness & Self awareness &

controlcontrol Settling to learnSettling to learn ContributingContributing Improved Improved

educational educational outcomesoutcomes

Well beingWell being Healthy relatingHealthy relating

The Positive Impact Of The Positive Impact Of Attachment Support On Attachment Support On

TeachersTeachers

Lower incidences Lower incidences of stressof stress

Job satisfactionJob satisfaction Freed up to ‘teach’Freed up to ‘teach’ Increased tool Increased tool

bankbank Better Better

understanding of understanding of the direct the direct connection connection between emotional between emotional growth & learninggrowth & learning

The Positive Impact Of The Positive Impact Of Attachment Support on Parents & Attachment Support on Parents &

CarersCarers

Partnership rather Partnership rather than isolationthan isolation

Advocacy on Advocacy on behalf of their childbehalf of their child

Reduced stressReduced stress Increased Increased

placement stabilityplacement stability Increased tool Increased tool

bank as strategies bank as strategies are shared are shared between home & between home & schoolschool