7/28/2019 Bagel Run - Joseph Stevens
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The BC experience with photo radar lasted from 1995 to 2001. In
those years innocuousminivans with special equipment lurked in
various odd places and took snapshots of vehiclesviolating the
speed limit. It was a lot of fun and I remember it fondly because
at that time I was anetwork planner in the local phone company. I
wasnt on the road much myself, compared toemployees with honest
jobs such as the engineers in the other cubicles (think of the
cartooncharacter Dilbert) and so I just always looked forward the
next tale of outrage (think of me asDilberts partner Wally). The
stories that grew out of the photo radar program were wonderful
andsomeone ought to record them in a book of short humor.
I did get out of the office a bit, though, and my own experience
with photo radar is probably agood illustration of its weaknesses.
Since I was the only person who could be relied upon to benot busy
with customers or other concerns I was usually nominated for bagel
runs. This involveda quick trip to Dominion Bagels, a distance of
about five km. Kilometers, that is, because thisaction took place
right here in Canuckistan. The trip was mostly through 50 km/h
speed zoneswith a short section allowing 70 but everyone knows that
drivers are allowed to cheat by as muchas ten km/h without being
molested.
The bagels were obtained fresh from the oven and were to be
delivered still warm for morningcoffee break and, when successful,
this could ameliorate the resentment that the planningfunction
incurred. Planning, after all, determined when and for what the
engineering techs wouldget funding for their projects and you
cannot make all the people happy all the time. So it wasbest if the
bagels appeared reliably and warm, with cream cheese on the
side.
Well, you already know what happened and when the speeding
ticket arrived showing theplanning vehicle in full flight everyone
was delighted. It joined a long list of installation/repairvans in
school zones and construction trucks on the highway. Worse, it was
recorded in our verysame 70 km/h zone just before coffee time on a
Wednesday, doing over 80.
My boss tried to pin it on me, of course, sending the ticket to
me with instructions to pay the $100fine, and so I came into an
extraordinary chance to practice rhetorical composing. My
ensuingletter was addressed to the Speaker of the BC legislature,
Dale Lovick (1996-1998). I explainedwhat he already knew so
wellthat corporate vehicles might be driven by just about
anyemployeebut I put my very best effort into that letter to
protest this unjust law. A copy was sentto corporate HQ to let them
know how I felt.
In my own defense I ought to point out that I did not know who
the driver was. Indeed, when itwas not fetching bagels, everyone
who knew the ropes constantly asked to borrow my companycar. The
bagel-run timing was completely circumstantial evidence as others
who were visitingthe area sometimes picked up bagels in my place.
The ticket was dated more than two monthsprior and the driver could
not be identified due to the elevated headrest. What would you
do?
Well, maybe you wouldnt work for the phone company at all and if
so I salute you. My youthfuleducation was in electronics, though,
so it was actually not a bad fit for me. At the time I wasslowly
working towards a BA (General Studies) through Open Learning DE and
my instructorsoften commented that I was a strong writer after
reading my essays. The greatest motivation Iever received, however,
was when Dale Lovick, on the Speakers legislative letterhead,
repliedto my protests. Seriously, he did and he agreed with my
position! He also provided a copy of hisreply to corporate HQ.
About that time I decided that I should pay the fineits all fun
and games until someone losesan eye and I wasnt exactly
invulnerable even if I was in the union. The very day after I
coughed
up my hundred bucks I received a courtesy copy of an email from
corporate HQ (HumanResources) to my boss in Victoria. They
reprimanded him lightly and told him to pay the fineimmediately
from his operating budget. Of course I never heard anything more
and I was far towise by this time of life to ask any embarrassing
questions. Maybe BC scored a free hundredbucks or maybe not, but
the official response from on high was all I needed to feel like
thestrategic winner; some things are just more important than
money.
