Balancing Stones: Balancing Stones: Leadership in LifeLeadership in Life

By Suzanne M. BeanBy Suzanne M. Bean

Mississippi University for Mississippi University for WomenWomen

May 22, 2007May 22, 2007

What do the stones represent?What do the stones represent?

PERSONAL LIFEPERSONAL LIFE Spouse/PartnerSpouse/Partner Parent –teacher, Parent –teacher,

nurse, referee, driver, nurse, referee, driver, chef, psychologist, chef, psychologist, organizer… organizer…

SiblingSibling FriendFriend Caregiver for ParentsCaregiver for Parents Church memberChurch member Community memberCommunity member

LEADERSHIP ROLESLEADERSHIP ROLES InnovatorInnovator CommunicatorCommunicator MotivatorMotivator Team BuilderTeam Builder Mentor/CoachMentor/Coach Problem SolverProblem Solver Budget ManagerBudget Manager EvaluatorEvaluator LearnerLearner

The more roles/stones you have, The more roles/stones you have, the more difficult it is to keep life in the more difficult it is to keep life in

balance!balance!

Fundamental Human NeedsFundamental Human Needs

To Belong (Connection)To Belong (Connection)

To Be Loved, Accepted, Valued (Love)To Be Loved, Accepted, Valued (Love)

To Be Successful To Be Successful (Achievement)(Achievement)To Make a Difference (Purpose)To Make a Difference (Purpose)

We differ in how we pursue We differ in how we pursue these fundamental needs…these fundamental needs…in what we search for, in the in what we search for, in the

choices we make, in how choices we make, in how we spend our time.we spend our time.

Balance or Entropy!Balance or Entropy!

Entropy - a broken down Entropy - a broken down system which has exhausted system which has exhausted its capacity for work…useless its capacity for work…useless

energy energy

The Boiling Frog!The Boiling Frog!

Signs of Stress and BurnoutSigns of Stress and Burnout

STRESSSTRESS

Over-engagementOver-engagement

Overactive EmotionsOveractive Emotions

UrgencyUrgency

HyperactivityHyperactivity

Guilt and Anxiety Guilt and Anxiety

Physical ExhaustionPhysical Exhaustion

BURNOUTBURNOUT

DisengagementDisengagement

Blunted EmotionsBlunted Emotions

HelplessnessHelplessness

HopelessnessHopelessness

DepressionDepression

Emotional DamageEmotional Damage

Causes of Stress/BurnoutCauses of Stress/Burnout

Unrealistic GoalsUnrealistic Goals All Things to All PeopleAll Things to All People Coercive/Punitive EnvironmentCoercive/Punitive Environment Violation of Values/Lack of Violation of Values/Lack of

AuthenticityAuthenticity Boredom from Unchanging or Boredom from Unchanging or

Unchallenging WorkUnchallenging Work Invisible MonkeyInvisible Monkey

Invisible Monkey Invisible Monkey

The The invisible monkeyinvisible monkey not only causes not only causes stress for you; it also creates people stress for you; it also creates people who are passive, dependent, and who are passive, dependent, and likely to pass their problems on to likely to pass their problems on to others.others.

Someone who Someone who overover-functions creates -functions creates someone who someone who underunder-functions.-functions.

What can you do to keep your What can you do to keep your stones of life in balance and be the stones of life in balance and be the most effective leader you can be in most effective leader you can be in

your personal life and at work?your personal life and at work?

Clarify PrioritiesClarify Priorities

Either you are creating your life or Either you are creating your life or circumstances are.circumstances are. T. LeonardT. Leonard

I don’t have time to build a fence! I am too I don’t have time to build a fence! I am too busy chasing cows!busy chasing cows! a Farmera Farmer

People with clear minds are like magnets.People with clear minds are like magnets.Wilma MankillerWilma Mankiller

ActivityActivityOn a notecard…On a notecard…

Write down at least 4 Write down at least 4 principles or values that principles or values that

guide you in work and life.guide you in work and life.

Reflect silently on these two Reflect silently on these two questionsquestions

How many of your principles/values How many of your principles/values have to do with work?have to do with work?

Are your daily actions aligned with Are your daily actions aligned with those principles/values?those principles/values?

Choices and CommitmentsChoices and Commitments

Anything less than a conscious Anything less than a conscious commitment to the important, is an commitment to the important, is an unconscious commitment to the unconscious commitment to the unimportant.unimportant.

S. CoveyS. CoveyThe balance of circumstances can be The balance of circumstances can be

shifted in a major way by minor action. shifted in a major way by minor action. Only a few decisions really matter. Only a few decisions really matter. Those that do matter a great deal.Those that do matter a great deal.

R. KochR. Koch

80/20 Principle by R. Koch80/20 Principle by R. Koch

We are likely to experience 80% of We are likely to experience 80% of our happiness in 20% of our time.our happiness in 20% of our time.

80% of our time may only contribute 80% of our time may only contribute to 20% of our happiness.to 20% of our happiness.

80% of what we achieve comes from 80% of what we achieve comes from 20% of our time…20% of our time…

And the other 80% of our time only And the other 80% of our time only leads to 20% of our achievement.leads to 20% of our achievement.

We can sharply boost the quality of We can sharply boost the quality of our lives by changing our use of our lives by changing our use of time. If we do more of the few time. If we do more of the few things that make us happy and things that make us happy and much less of the many activities much less of the many activities

that take most of our time but don’t that take most of our time but don’t lead to high levels of happiness or lead to high levels of happiness or achievement, we can improve our achievement, we can improve our lives in a sensational way…all with lives in a sensational way…all with

less effort!less effort!

Seek Authenticity in Self and Seek Authenticity in Self and OthersOthers

Keep promises made.Keep promises made. Trust yourself.Trust yourself. Focus on your signature strengths.Focus on your signature strengths. Build even stronger positive Build even stronger positive

relationships with those most relationships with those most important to you.important to you.

Be intentional with your actions.Be intentional with your actions.

Sharpen the Saw!Sharpen the Saw!

Paradigm Shift about LeadershipParadigm Shift about Leadership

Starfish ConceptStarfish Concept

As a leader, one of the most As a leader, one of the most important jobs you have important jobs you have

is is preparing your preparing your replacement.replacement.

Distributive/Shared LeadershipDistributive/Shared Leadership

Develop Leaders Around You!Develop Leaders Around You!

Move From Individual to Collective Move From Individual to Collective CommitmentsCommitments

Clarity of Purpose in Your OrganizationClarity of Purpose in Your Organization

Authentic Connections in Your Authentic Connections in Your OrganizationOrganization

Celebrations of Strengths/Talents in Your Celebrations of Strengths/Talents in Your OrganizationOrganization

Relationship Building in Your OrganizationRelationship Building in Your Organization

Balance your stones!Balance your stones!

The best time to plant a tree is 10 The best time to plant a tree is 10 years ago. The second best time is years ago. The second best time is

today.today.

African ProverbAfrican Proverb