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Editorial

Dear Reader,We feel it’s time we told you about the love story of the Editors and Video Editor.There once was a Swedish boy, let’s call him Alex for the sakes of the story, who had a dream, a dream to cross the cold seas and join a pair of Irish Bestos in what turned out to be the greatest media team that ever lived. While the bond between Alex and Megan had previously started to evolve due to an encounter further over seas it was time for David to meet the final element to what was to become an ok editing team. Having spent the last number of days in close proximity the trio have become one and along with the creativiy of their fabulous journalists have managed to create some fairly daayycent media pieces. We are extremely grateful to all of our Journos, our incredible Video Editor and all the other officials at the Session. We would like to give a special shout out to each and every one of you delegates, but that could take a while, so just know we’re so grateful for you acting as our muses!xoxoGossip Edittor

The Possibly Fictive Diary Of A Traveler

What Country are you?

Existential EYP“I think therefore I EYP”

MOTION FOR A RESOLUTION BYTHE COMMITTEE ON COLTURE AND EDUCATION

Dublin from a Dutch Perspective

But Will It Ever Begin?? Defying the Odds

Horoscopes

25th Of July, 2013I stood in the main hall of the Amsterdam train station, wait-ing for the 13.30 train to Brus-sels. I had packed for 2 days, which was how long it would take me to reach my summer home in Croatia. The travel plan was plain and simple; train to Paris, then a plane to Milan. Hop onto the night bus to Zagreb and from there; take the ferry to our summer home which was on the island of Dugi Otok.I took the 10.30 to Paris, the train was full. I was forced to sit next to one of those sweaty old men, the stereotypical curse of every train journey. To make things worse, it was almost 35° C outside, and the climate control in the train was broken. It was going to be a long and excruciating voyage.

We were riding past the flat, scenic Dutch countryside when suddenly the train came to a stop. For a very long time, we

were unaware about the reason of our delay; all we knew is what the voice on the intercom told us. “We are having some techni-cal issues, we will try to resolve them as fast as possible” echoed around the carriage every 5 minutes. That automotive voice was pure psychological tor-ture. It was as if we were being held captive for some kind of sadistic, social experiment; one which involved jamming a metal tube full of strangers in high summer, just to see who would last the longest. After an hour without any news, one of the crew members decided to have pity on us, and distribut-ed bottles of water among the passengers.

After another 2 hours, the train finally left, and we eventually arrived. It suddenly dawned on me that the Ryanair airfield of ‘Paris’ was actually in a village to the North of Paris, almost 87 kilometers to the North of the city. I decided to get a hotel

for the night, because it would be impossible for me to get my flight. I jammed myself on one of the crowded Parisian subway wagons. When I was halfway to my destination I suddenly felt a pull and moments later, I saw someone running with my suit-case. I tried to get after him, but the doors had already closed. So gone were my ID, money and clothes. Therefore I had no other option other than to go and sleep under a bridge for the night. I fell asleep, broken and tired, within the shadow of France’s most famous national monument.

26th of July, 2013When I was 10, I dreamed about going to Paris and waking up with a view on the Eiffel tower, but now that dream has become reality, it feels more like a night-mare. I did not quite under-stand how I ended up sleeping under a bridge, but I knew I had to get back to Amsterdam, but a night of sleeping outside makes

The Possibly Fictive Diary Of A Traveler

If you want to become an international delegate, and attend EYP sessions from Ireland to Armenia, you have to travel a lot, be it by plane or by train. That’s not always as simple as it seems, proven by the following record of one heck of a journey.

The continuation of the tale of a brave traveler who needs to get from Amsterdam to Croatia.

you look more like a robber than a respectable person, so hitchhiking home was not going to be easy. After standing on the side of a Parisian highway for 8 hours, a car stopped with inside an entire Turkish family. I en-tered the car and my body was so tired, I fell asleep instantly.

27th of July, 2013When I woke up, I immediate-ly noticed something was not right. 12 hours had passed since I got into the car, but the names on the road signs were still very French. God seemed to be play-ing a very cruel practical joke on me, because the car I got into went South in stead of North. Going back to Amsterdam was not an option anymore, no one would pick up someone who looked like an escaped inmate. My only option left was to go on to Croatia in the South. I started walking, whilst keeping my thumb up in the hope that anyone would pick me up. I was walking trough a remote Italian

village, when a car stopped and let me in.

The drivers name was Guiseppe, and he was on his way to the monastery of Milan to become a monk. He was a nice guy, but something seemed odd about him. I was just happy that someone finally picked me up. When we reached the monas-tery, Guiseppe had a surprise for me. He didn’t need the car anymore and that I could have it. Luck finally seemed to be on my side.

When the Croatian border was in sight, it felt as if my journey was finally coming to an end. But yet again, faith showed me it wasn’t finished with me yet. When I was crossing the bor-ders, customs control took me out of the line. When I stepped out of the car, I was immediate-ly tackled by the Croatian police force and brought to an inter-rogation room. They asked me questions about drugs dealing

and someone called Luigi. My car, as it turned out, was on the Interpol search list, and the friendly monk was actually an Italian crime lord. After inter-rogating me throughout the night, they decided I honestly knew nothing, and put me back in my cell.

28th of July, 2013I woke up when the door opened, and in the doorpost stood my mother. I jumped up, and she gave me a hug. And that’s when I finally felt I was home.

,

By Yannick Leonard (BE)

The Possibly Fictive Diary Of A Traveler

If you want to become an international delegate, and attend EYP sessions from Ireland to Armenia, you have to travel a lot, be it by plane or by train. That’s not always as simple as it seems, proven by the following record of one heck of a journey.

The continuation of the tale of a brave traveler who needs to get from Amsterdam to Croatia.

What Country are you? So while quite bored in the Journo room, I decided to equate the Chairs to various (in)famous Countries.

So I’ll start of with my lovely committee JURI and their equally great chair pair. We’ll start with the memorable Craig Allen. He’s small, prone

to violent spastic fits against every-one in the near vicinity. The majority of people put up with him, but shush other wise the West-Bank (Me) will be Blotzkrieged. Again.

Next we have the love-ly Laura Hibberd. Like Iceland she lives ages away and no one knows precisely where she’s from. As committee work suggests she’s both fiery and Ice-y, so the “land of fire and ice” is a fitting comparison.

Juri

Libe 2Like Norway, Trisha is home to some “nice scen-ery” and majestic heights.

All the while being fairly unknown by most people. Mysterious,

funny and engaging, Zanzibar reflects the qualities of Valeriya.

Envi

ItreLike their topic are mostly water and little else

So their be- loved Anthony bares an uncanny resemblance to Fin-land, with it’s huge amounts of lakes (187,000). Like the country, you don’t mess with Finland and to a lesser ex-tent Antho- ny Makee, despite his Teddy Bear like appearance.

Zoe Boland is the veri-table North Korea of the chairs,developing a cult of personality in ITRE based on fear of being sent to a Pris-on Camp *cough* disco *cough*.

Rosa Douw, is the O.C.D-like Germany ensuring everything runs smoothly, in our microsm of the Eu-ropean Union.

Zoe Boland is the veritable North Korea of the chairs,de-veloping a cult of personality in ITRE based on fear of being sent to a Prison Camp *cough* disco *cough*.

The disappointing “Drico”, who isn’t like the actual “Drico” (Brian O’driscoll-

google him) this is much equivalent to Canada, which wants to be America, but just isn’t.

Beitrice Rechel who I honestly don’t know, seems

nice, so we’ll just assume she’s an equally nice country such as Ireland.

Pech

Next we have Julie Fahy who leads LIBE 1 as it’s only chair and doesn’t care. Much like Switzerland, who just don’t care about the EU and conforming.

Libe 1

To the SPACE committee’s credit, we have possibly the coolest name, Gustaf

Danielsson who is like Côte d’Ivoire (phonetically co-toe-

vo)

SpaceThe equally cool John McGuinness who’s devil may care attitude makes him synonymous to Russia, and it’s attitude to-wards the west.

Femm Due to David’s pleasant de-

meanour, we see him attain the attributes of Sweden, always gentle and kind.

His fun sized partner, Shiofra who’s fun-based approach make her synonymous

to the populace of Spain, with their unique attitude to fun.

Libe 3The most striking thing about this com- mittee’s Chair pair is James Moran who’s non-existence in EYP, is much like East Germany’s relevance to European politics. Nothing.

Storm Gibbons, the name says it all, cool, powerful and unignorable, Storm is definitely The US!

She is paired with Mari Fostad, who again I haven’t a

clue who she is, so I’m going to make her Italy, Italy is cool right?

our Vice-President Grainne Hawkes, who could totes be from some Scandanavian country with those blonde locks, we’ll go with

Afet

By Jack Sargent (IE)

Existential EYP

“I think therefore I EYP”

By Cian Rynne (IE)

Perhaps at some point during Great Big Moose or playing Street Fighter you’ve thought to yourself “well life is weird” and that’s great!

Because EYP happens in such a short time period, everything must happen in an accelerated manner. Making resolutions, Forming friendships even falling in love.

What makes all of this possible is the time con-straints. There is a deadline on achieving all the goals of the weekend, team-building was scheduled an allo-cated time in which to bring the committee together in preparation for the committee work the following day. There is a sense of urgency. You are obliged to live in the fast lane these three days and its wonderful. You have some of the deepest conversations in your life and divulge really intimate information to people you’ve just met. You can achieve friendships in hours that would have taken weeks or months in a regular linear time frame (loser time).

It begs the question; Why can’t real life be this insane?I would love that to be the case. There would never be a boring day. Life would be so insanely crazy and because there are barely any breaks or sleep, you’d get so many activities done! Where could you go wrong with an attitude like that?

The obvious problem is that it is exhausting. The emotional roller coaster an EYP session can take you on is draining to say the least. Also there would have to be a deadline on real life for EYP mentality to work. You must know the day you die, and for me I would procrastinate until the day before I die and then freak out due to the deadline.

So EYP must remain the occasional weekend in the year that you always remember, you and your now best friends will return to your real lives in the linear timeframe and live the way you lived before as you know you must. It’s a fantastical weekend that forever lives in the realm between reality and utter fiction.

So question yourself, who are you? what you want out of this? and have fun. Just tear up that resolution and declare your love for someone at G.A brah. Girls love when you declare your love for them at G.A.

Live with the spontaneity that EYP loves.

Which member state should be eliminated

from the EU?Ans: ...debatable

Delegate Answers: England x 4 (UK is a member state... not England... but good

job nationalism), Greece x 3, Narnia

How many member states are there in the EU?

Ans: 28Delegate Answers: 28, 29, 21,

22, 44, 37, 12Who was the last country

to join the EU?Delegate Answers: Iceland, China,

District 1, Oceania, Paraguay, Albania, Mali, Ireland, the former Yugoslav Repub-

lic of Macedonia.

What is the population

of Europe?Ans: 740 million

Delegate Answers: 300 million, 700 million, 150 million, 1.3 bil-

lion, 12.... yeah 12.

Who is the current president of the European Parliament?

Answer: Martin SchulzDelegate Answers: Pikachu, Batman/ Bruce Wayne, José Manuel Barroso.

Ban Ki Moon, ‘That French Guy’, Angela Merkel

What year was the EU

founded?Ans: 1993

Delegate Answers: 1952, 1969 x 3 (head out the gutter, delegates!),

1972, 1995

What’s you favorite EU institution? i.e. Make up

an EU institution.Ans: Committee for Bubblegum and

LollipopsDelegate Answers: Society for Chicken Farm-ers International (SCFI), International Gov-ernance Body for Crying Babies (IGBCB), Conservative Gay Rights Initiative (CGRI),

European Safety Body Concerning Run-ning with Scissors (ESBCRS),

Delegate

By James Joy (IE)

MOTION FOR A RESOLUTION BYTHE COMMITTEE ON COLTURE AND EDUCATION

How can the European Onion ensore that basicfondamental rights including the right of association and freedom of speech are effectively guaranteed and respected in all Member States?

Submitted by: Ann-Sophie Vandommele (BE) The European Youth Parliament, A. Realising that many Irish people feel disconnected from Europe,B. Recognising that coltural differences soch as food and drinks accentuate Irish integration problems,C.Conscious of the fact that European accents make communication between Irish and Europeans difficolt,D. Noting that the committee is constantly wondering: “What have the Irish ever done for os?”,E. Knowing that nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition,F. Deeply distorbed that there has been a serious lack of mauling, shifting, tash-ing on, snoggling and pillowing at EYP this year,G. Aware of the fact that one does not simply walk into Mordor,H.Expresses its hope that the odds be ever in your favour,I. Nothing with concern that Miley Cyros has a dreadfol influence on the young-er EU generation, J. Convinced that we CAN stop Miley Cyros, K. Acknowledging that this resolution will be railgonned into the son after the debate,

1. Requires that all EU citizens eat bacon and cabbage every Friday for lonch at all European schools;2. Suggests that all EU citizens be forced to take compolsory Irish accent lessons to allow better integration;3. Advises for ‘Amhrán na bhFiann’ be declared the new EU national anthem;4. Soggests that tea becomes the standardised basic liquid instead of water and as soch is what comes out of taps and is given for free at all restaurants and cof-fee shops;5. Strongly calls for the creation of the European Ministry of Fozziness and Cosi-ness;6. Sorts all EU citizens at birth into Gryffindor, Hofflepoff, Ravenclaw or Slyth-terin supervised by the EMFC;7. Welcomes the organisation of the Annual Honger Games where the EMFC randomly selects one boy and one girl between the ages of 12 and 18 from each Member State;8. Hardening our resolve to deeply penetrate right to the heart of the need for the introdoction of an European media campaign on snoggling and shifting;9. Call opon all Member States to pot their forces together at combating Miley Cyros with her according entourage;

By Sophie Vandommele (BE)

Dublin from a Dutch Perspective

Ireland is a strange place to be as a 17-year old Dutchie! Upon arriving in the land of lepre-chauns and gloomy hills I couldn’t but notice the Irish flag everywhere. Being a boy with a sustainable lifestyle, I love the color glás. Being Dutch, I love the color orange. But why put them together? They just should have gone for the gold instead.‘Hmm,” I thought. “Things can’t be that weird in this city, right?” Unfortunately, strange street names in an almost ancient language were con-fusing me a bit. I asked one of the leprechauns at St. Stephen’s Green where I could have ‘good craic’ around this town. He told me to take the Luas (what?) to Copper’s. I was even more con-fused by this, so I decided to just take the tram there. I still cannot believe how many times it took to convince that security guy I was 15 years old, being worthy of the child ticket.

After the Luas ride and the leprechauns I want-ed to chill out a bit, so I went down to “O’What-ever his surname is” and ordered a glass of ‘TK Red’. I see now why that drink is banned in most European countries. Feeling sick from the red chemical cocktail I decided to take it easy a bit. I went for some rubbish spotting at the Liffey.

Finally, I felt a bit better. Good, because there’s no use being sick when I had huge plans for the Wezz that night! After a mad party at the biggest small-people club in Dublin I went for a good nights rest. Dublin was banterful, but con-fusing. Oh well, at least the weather doesn’t suck as bad as back home, right?

By Tadeus Hogenelst (NL)

“...and they lived happily ever after.” Most people think it would be pretty nice to eventually live up to this ste-reotypical ending of every Disney princess movie ever. But how likely are you to actually find your one true love?

But Will It Ever Begin??

Ignoring any semblance of actual accuracy, let’s assume that during our lifetime we meet, and at least briefly talk to, about 20.000 peo-ple. Let’s further assume that the average person dates between the ages of 15 and 30. So, it stands to reason that during these 15 years of dating, the average person will encounter roughly 3750 people. You might think 3750 potential soulmates is pretty decent, but don’t be fooled. We have to narrow it down further.I recently took a personality test on one of those pleasantly half-dodgy websites clearly made back during the internet’s awkward teenage years. The personality test divided people into 16 different personality types. Each personal-ity type was then compatible with itself and 3 others. So according to this test and it’s sweeping gener-alizations, only a fourth of these

3750 people will be compatible with you. Also, assuming you have a gender of preference, only half of that fourth will fulfill that criteria. We are now left with about 470 people. Not too bad, right? Wrong. We’re not done yet.We must also consider the age of the people. Here is where it gets even trickier for those who respect and appreciate accuracy. Lucki-ly, I am not one of those people. Therefore, I shall now generously assume that a fourth of the people you are left with are at any given time during your 15 years of dat-ing the correct age for you. That leaves about 117 eligible bachelor/bachelorettes. Give or take. “117 people? But that’s plenty!” Wrong. We’re not done yet.We must also consider sexual pref-erence, the people who do not find you attractive, whom you are not attracted to, those you friendzone,

those who friendzone you, those who you simply do not have any “chemistry” with, cousins, siblings, siblings of friends who would chop your head off if you ever did anything with their precious little sister or brother, people you acci-dentally did something ridiculous-ly embarrassing in front of, peo-ple whose number you were too shy to ask for, and finally, those who are in a relationship already (b*******). Assuming that 85% of the people are thus unavailable to you for the aforementioned reasons, this leaves about 17 people that you will meet between the ages of 15 and 30 that you are romantically compatible with. Give or take. But who knows, maybe one of those 17 people will be sitting in front of you at GA. So yeah, good luck with that.

Sarah Ek (SE)

rarely happens

Throughout the violent name-games, ‘fruit-salad’, ‘polo game’ and ‘two truths and a lie’ one thing became abundantly clear: two

delegates were in love. Though they have been masked in the above picture for the sake of their anonymity, they are quite the insepara-

ble item. We’ll refer to them as Felix and Antoine.

The classic name game, where a delegate stands in the mid-dle of a circle made of his/her committee members and has to whack-a-committee member when he/she hears their name. I

noticed (with my superior investigative journalism skills) that Felix repeatedly called Antoine and vice versa. The sparkle they held in

their eyes for one and other was undeniable.

During fruit-salad, the same boring old statement were made. “Stand up if you... are wearing socks” etc. etc. However Antoine

had an idea.“Stand up if you are in a relationship” he said, sitting down quickly.

To his amazement and great delight, Felix remained seated. The budding couple shared a secret wink .

The favorite of all delegates who enjoy close-but-not-that-close contact with their committee members: the ‘polo game’. Passing a polo from person to person with only a matchstick to separate them. This is a tense moment in any delegates life. For Felix and Antoine however, it was a dream come true. I took a the picture

you see above while they took the polo game a step further.

Some twist of fate led to the newly formed couple heading off outside the bounds of the committee room to form their ‘two

truths and a lie’. Sources suggest this may have been organized by the resident cupid/chair, Trisha. We may never know the true story of what happened while they roamed the hallways of Alexandra...

Though I’ve heard reports of them coming back late, you may make up your own minds.

‘Till next time,

James Joy

Defying the Odds

By Artemis Triki (GR)

You might

focus on ro-mance today, but it’s possible that

you’re having prob-lems figuring out a

way to combine EYP and love. Concentrate and work togeth- Sagitarius

Committee work will be challenging

for you. Be patient, express your opinion, but don’t argue with anyone. After all, EYP is all about compromise and

having fun. Remember this and you’ll be rewarded

at the end of the

Socialising with others in an easy-going and relaxed at-

mosphere will bring you the most enjoyment out of this day. Talking

about your committee topic and being able to laugh at yourself

and the events of the weekend will help you feel less stressed

about GA.

CapricornYou

will have the

chance to meet new

people at the session. The ar-

ticles will be in your favour; if

you are active and show people

your ‘bright’ smile; you may

even find the love of your

life.

AriesAs the

Moon enters the house of romance, you will

seduce your fellow delegates (or even the journalists!) with your cute outfit. However, always keep in mind

that we’re here to do some serious work. everything will turn out

for the best.

Virgo

Mars enters your

house of wisdom, so keep a close eye on the news con-

cerning your committee topic. The more you research, the better!

Ge

mini

You felt quite down

during teambuilding, because you found the

games too weird for your taste. But my advice for you is to give your committee a

chance;

Leo

ScorpioGA makes you feel nervous, es-

pecially because you’re a first-time

delegate. Prepare thoroughly and be

ready to defend your committee’s

resolution. Although you might

be shy, stand out and speak.

Your spirited nature

is highlighted during this rather rough period. Being

able to maintain a sense of hu-mour about everything, including committee work and GA, is es-

pecially important thought this difficult time.

PiscesYou will enjoy the amaz-ing videos of the Media Team, but

don’t forget there’s also a resolution that has to be written. Try to maintain the posi-

tive climate inside your committee and you won’t lose.

Libra

Taurus

Horoscopes

Virgo

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