Becoming a person of influence session handout

Becoming a Person of Influence

How to Positively Impact the

Lives of Others


Copyright © Corporate Edge Asia Pte Ltd


All rights reserved. No part of this product may be reproduced, distributed, or

transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other

electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the

publisher.

Document Revision

Revision Date 1/7/2015

Table of Contents Becoming a Person of Influence 3

Leadership is Influence 3

Influence Inventory 4

What's your style? 4

Influencing Style 9

How to change my style 9

10 Ways to Increase Influence 10

How will I change? 10



Leadership is Influence

How we influence others is a choice. We can choose to be influencers who pull people towards our argument or we can push them towards it. We can choose to be passive or active in our influencing.

Leadership is influence, nothing more, nothing less. Dr John C. Maxwell.


Influence Inventory

What's your style?

Influence, like leadership, is situational. There is no one correct style. No one way that works for all people. Flexibility in style is key to be able to influence those you will need to during your life.

Think of the people you surround yourself with (your chosen inner circle) and you’ll probably find that they are very much like you.


Influence Inventory

What's your style?

The Conqueror and the Controller are more PUSH in their approach, more assertive and logical. Conductors and Connectors tend to be more emotional and PULL people toward them. The Conjuror, juggles the two in the middle.

Asserting: Stating preferences clearly and applying pressure - Conqueror


Influence Inventory

What's your style?

Rationalizing: Using logic and reasoning to present your ideas - Controller

Negotiating: Compromising and making concessions to find common ground - Conjuror


Influence Inventory

What's your style?

Bridging: Engaging and connecting with others –Connector

Inspiring: Influencing others through shared purposes and broader possibilities Conductor


Influence Inventory

What's your style?

Consider how you influence others. List the top 3 characteristics of how you influence others. Be honest and completely candid. Think of your boss, your peers, your family, your friends. Are you forceful, do you respect them always, do you manipulate, perhaps intimidate. Do you give much and gain little? Do you trade or barter. Do you expect reciprocity?

To more readily and sustainably influence others you want to be less PUSH, and more PULL.


Influencing Style

How to change my style

INFLUENCER makes for an easy to recall acronym.


10 Ways to Increase Influence

How will I change?

Remember these will be things that you WILL do, not just can do, but actually do them.



How will I change?

Integrity cannot be purchased on a whim; rather, it’s shaped by each ethical decision you make. Your integrity is your responsibility. It’s an inside job, the cumulative effect of your choices in life. Integrity matters, because it’s the gateway to trust, and only by establishing trust can you gain the right to influence others. Q. What qualities define a person of integrity?

Q. In which areas of life are you completely trustworthy? When is it the hardest for you to act with integrity?

Trust is the glue that holds people together. • Does my organization have good written values?

• Do the leaders practice and model them for others?

• Do I place the interests of my people above my own?

• Am I accountable to others for my actions?

• Since I know myself best, do I like who I am?



How will I change?

Influencers pay attention to the needs of those around

them, and then pour themselves out to meet those needs. The average person goes through life looking for validation. They want to know they’re respected and valued. Leaders nurture others by extending genuine care, offering a sense of belonging, and being generous with encouragement.

Q. In what practical ways can you show that you value your co-workers?

Q. What needs do you have that must be filled in order for you to enjoy your job? Nurturing people:

- Does not mean needing people

- Does mean commitment to people

- Does mean loving people

- Does mean lifting people to a higher level



How will I change?

Most people have a deficit of self-belief. As such, they gravitate to leaders who recognize their abilities and believe in their potential. A person of influence demonstrates faith in others by helping them to visualize success, celebrate victories, and learn from failure. Q. How does it feel when others question your talent and doubt your ability to deliver results?

Q. Why do people generally perform in line with the expectations others have of them? Assets make things possible

People make things happen

Fear – if we are afraid of people we cannot confront them

Dislike – if we dislike people we should not lead them

Contempt – if we look down on people, we will not value them

1. Borrowed beliefs have no power 2. We become outside what we believe inside

3. Lack of belief in people hurts both the leader and the people

4. The greatest gift a leader gives another person is to express belief in that person when that person doesn’t believe in himself

Listening communicates respect. When leaders are attentive to the ideas and concerns of teammates, they generate strong relationships and increase their knowledge. By hearing what others have to say—both the good and the bad—leaders not only are better



How will I change?

positioned to make decisions but they also earn the loyalty of followers. Q. What behaviours, both conscious and unconscious, prevent you from listening?

Q. how do people respond when they feel repeatedly ignored?

Look at speaker – meanings are not in words, but in

people

Ask questions – this is the quickest way to become a

listener

Don’t interrupt – it is just as rude to step on people’s

ideas as it is to step on their toes.

Don’t change subject – listening is wanting to hear

Emotion – leaders must keep current of the

undercurrents

Responsive listening – when people feel that their leads

no longer listens or responds, they will go somewhere else

To become a better listener: What is their heart? What is their hope?

What is their hurt? How can I help?

To win influence, you have to step outside the confines of your perspective to consider the viewpoints of others. Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you are. Before asking to be understood, devote effort to understand the other person’s point of view. Q. Why is it so frustrating to be around someone who

always has to be “right?”



How will I change?

Q. How can two people see the same circumstances and draw conclusions that aren’t even close to being the same?

Why relationships fail: - Fear which causes us to erect barriers

- Selfishness which causes us to focus on self instead of others

Keys…

Influencers are investors in people. They make deposits of time and energy to lift others to a high level of living. Through mentoring and coaching, leaders set up others for success by focusing on their strengths and tapping into their passions. Q. Describe a time when you felt belittled by a leader. What happened? How did it affect your relationship to him or her? Q. How have you benefitted from having a mentor or enlarger invest in your life?

You cannot give what you do not have

Success is knowing your purpose in life, growing to your maximum potential, and sowing seeds that benefit others

Success – when you work hard to better yourself Significance – when you work hard to better others



How will I change?

A surprising number of people float through life without a defined destination. Leaders help others navigate toward goals and dreams by identifying how they need to grow and what they need to know. A good navigator also assists others in making course corrections by steering them clear of distractions and guiding them down the simplest path to success. Q When have you felt disoriented or off-track in your career? How did you get back on course?

Q The wrong kind of criticism can block our growth. How have you faced destructive criticism in life, and how did you navigate around it?

There are those who can see the problem ahead and avoid it.

There are those who can see the problem and fix it. There are those who cannot see the problem or fix it

and they are overwhelmed. A leader is one who sees more than others see, farther

than others see, before others see

1. Experience – been there did that 2. Success – been there did that successfully

3. Responsibility – I’m willing to take others on the trip

4. Communication – Encouraging –honest –continual

5. Partnership – we go together – we help each other



How will I change?

Weak leaders sometimes get so caught up in the vision of where they’re going that they forget about the people they’re supposed to lead. If you take people for granted, then you’ll not be able to link up with them to achieve anything great. Influential people know that they depend upon others to achieve the dream. For this reason, they initiate relationships, look for common ground, and learn how to motivate those around them. Q. How can a person’s competitive nature prevent him or her from connecting with others?

Q. Why, in the age of wireless communication, does meaningful human connection seem to be harder than ever?

Credibility + Communication = Connections

Go to their world. Communicate from the heart. Find the key to their life.



How will I change?

Empowerment doesn’t mean dumping assignments on subordinates or delegating every conceivable task. Instead of merely giving others something to do, empowerment inspires them to see the person they can be. Leaders empower others only in the context of a committed relationship. This includes modelling leadership behaviours, coaching a winning attitude, and instilling confidence. Q. At times, being delegated to can feel like an honour.

Other times, it feels demeaning. What makes the difference?

Q. What fears cause leaders to hold tightly to power and prevent them from transferring authority to followers?

Determine not to know everything, not to know everything first, not to become the primary source of communication, to let someone else represent you, to stay with your strengths.

Empowerment means: 1. Seeing the potential of the individual and the

proper fit for the job

2. Saying words that encourage, equip and empower that person

3. Sharing your knowledge, experience and influence with them

4. Showing to others your belief in and power given to that person

Leaders who reproduce their influence lead themselves exceptionally well. Not only do reproducers model leadership through their actions, they also mentor and



How will I change?

equip others through intentional coaching and conversation. Leaders who enjoy feeling relied upon seldom reproduce influence through others. Rather, influencers who achieve multiplication do so by raising others up and then stepping aside. Q. How many people on your team are involved in

making the truly big decisions? Would it be healthier to add more decision-makers to the mix?

Q. How does an organization shift its focus from producing star performers to creating team victories?

80% of leaders attract followers

10% Attract leaders

5 % Reproduce leaders

1. Model good leadership

2. Provide leadership training

3. Provide leadership resources

4. Provide leadership experiences

5. Create a growth environment

Think about the easiest of these attributes for you and which is most difficult. Who can you teach and who can you learn from?

Documents

Becoming a person of influence session handout