Get it right the first time

RelocationLife in China: your family driver

Making Beijing Your Home

Offshore Banking

Third Culture Kids

EducationFour Habits of Highly Successful Learners

Parents, Children and

University

ISSUE 1

Tips for the relocation process

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BROUGHT TO YOU BY

RELOCATION SUPPLEMENT

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By Kate Lorenz

IF SCHOOLS ARE YOUR TOP PRIORITY, DO YOUR RESEARCH

BEFOREHAND AND VISIT THE

SCHOOL AND THE SURROUNDING

AREAS

”Moving to a new city is never easy.

Whether it’s your first posting or your tenth, you’ll still be leaving familiar surroundings and friends and family, and starting a new adventure that entails new housing, schooling, shopping and transportation, and in general a new routine.oving to China can be even more overwhelming than moving to other countries, due to the immense linguistic and cultural differences you’ll most likely encounter.

Culture shock is a term we’ve been throwing around for years, and the three-stage cycle that goes with it is well documented. In China I’d say everyone goes through each stage to some degree. Stage one is the honeymoon, where everything is exciting and new. This can last from two weeks to six months and is the phase where you think everything is just fantastic. Everything is new, everything is great and you just love being here. Then there’s the negotiation phase, where the excitement turns to occasional frustration, feelings of isolation and even anger. These new emotions are usually spurred by language barriers, differences in public hygiene, traffic safety, social etiquette and a longing for familiar sights and people.

The problem with this second phase is that it comes in waves. One day you’re standing on the new China World Tower thinking you’re on top of the world, the next you’re standing in the queue at your local supermarket sobbing your heart out because there’s no mozzarella left. Then, after somewhere between 6 and 12 months, most people move into the so-called adjustment phase. You settle

into a routine and grow accustomed to the new culture you’re in. This is when you start accepting where you are, and that life here includes both the good and the not-so-good. Almost everyone goes through these three stages; however, there are a number of ways of shortening the negotiation phase and making Beijing your home sooner rather than later.

Beijing’s specific challenges

Beijing is a wonderful city: vibrant, growing, cosmopolitan and much more. It’s one of the most habitable cities for expatriates in mainland China. However, it does have a number of challenges. It is after all still a developing city, in a vast developing country. Although the local government intends to make Beijing the next Washington, D.C., you still only need to scratch the surface to realise that the modernisation of the city is not yet complete. You’ll still encounter a number of frustrating situations, such as the lack of queuing order (very important for the British), poor customer service, miscommunication due to cultural differences and public hygiene standards below what you may be accustomed to. Having said that, the subway, for example, is cleaner than any Western city’s system I have ever travelled on, and there are more road sweepers than anywhere else I’ve been. The systems are all in place – it’ll just take a little time to get them going.

Beijing is more expensive than many people expect. In 2010 a survey named it the world’s 16th most expensive city to live in as an expatriate. Some items are less expensive, such as eating out, recreation in general and furniture

and appliances. However, other items, such as imported groceries, health care, household taxes, government levies and utilities are more expensive than in many cities.

Another difficulty is the language barrier. Beijing is increasingly becoming an English-speaking city, but you should still be prepared for the fact that many locals, including your ayi, driver, taxi drivers and most people working in public services, will speak little or no English. This can make moving to Beijing challenging, even more so than moving to Shanghai, where English is more prevalent.

Where to live in Beijing can be a difficult question as well; there’s just so much choice – beginning with downtown convenience versus comfortable Shunyi suburbs. This is both a blessing and a curse. If you have limited time to make a decision, the choice can be overwhelming. This can lead to people choosing the wrong location, making their settling-in process in Beijing more difficult than it needs to be.

There are a number of ways you can prepare for your arrival to help make Beijing your home.

If your company is willing to provide you with a look-see trip, be sure to take it. Before your arrival, talk to your counsellor and let them know what’s important to you so that your trip can be customised. While you’re on your look-see trip, make sure you visit the areas and locations most important to you. If schools are your top priority, do your research beforehand and visit the school AND the surrounding areas. If nightlife and convenience to your

MAKINGBEIJING YOUR HOME

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office are most important to you, test the public transport, the taxis during rush hour and which supermarket you would shop at.

Also, if your company offers you cross-cultural training take this too! Even if you’ve lived in other countries before or have been travelling here, you’ll still be thankful you did so. I personally have lived all over the world and have been in Beijing for over ten years now, but I took a recent refresher course and was amazed to find out how many things I am still learning.

Decide whether to bring the family pet or not. Although the concept is nice, there are challenges. Getting your dog into China is relatively easy, but it’s important to note that when leaving China many countries (including the UK and Australia) require 4-6 months quarantine for dogs coming from China. Also, living in a compound in the suburbs is one thing, but there are very few green areas for dogs in central Beijing. Additionally, there are restrictions on ‘big’ dogs within the city area. Therefore, even though bringing Fluffy may seem like it will make your move easier, it might cause more stress in the long run.

One of the most important parts of making any city your home is where you live. If you find the right home in the right location you’ll settle into Beijing quickly. Beijing is noisy and busy, so your home needs to be a haven, somewhere you can lock your doors and relax. However, it’s important to realise that when renting you seldom find that perfect place. There’ll always be a compromise. Decide which aspects of your ideal home you’re willing to give up, and which are essential for you. For example:

• Is location more important than size?

• Is a compound with outdoor space and a community for your children more important than being close to downtown?

• Is the quality of the renovation and appliances important?

• Is having a clubhouse more important than a flat that’s large but has limited facilities?

Make sure you have a good realtor. We suggest going with no more than two, rather than trying to view with everyone in the market. This is because if you find the right realtor and they

understand your needs they’ll be able to search the market for you and find the right home. Beijing doesn’t have exclusive listings, so almost all agencies have access to the same properties. If they don’t have them on their books, they can work with partners to find them. When checking a property, think about the points in the box to the right.

Try and work with a landlord that your realtor already knows. This isn’t always easy in Beijing, as there are many private landlords. However, there are a number of compounds with good management offices and leasing offices which your realtor may recommend you to go through for your first year in Beijing. This can make life a lot easier when there are problems in the property and you need the landlord to respond quickly.

If you have the opportunity, bringing your own furniture can really help in making your rented property your home. If this isn’t possible, then rent a place with simple furniture so that you can then decorate the property to your liking. Bring some personal goods with you, regardless of whether your company pays for shipping or not. Photos, artwork and your

Beijing’s iconic CCTV Tower

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However, through events, chambers and looking through the many free expatriate magazines you’ll find opportunities if you persevere.

This may seem a strange thing to say, but it’ll make you happier in the long run. A lot of expatriates put on significant weight when they first arrive in Beijing. The culture here is very much about eating out. There’s a lot of alcohol flowing at events and dinners, and meeting friends tends to be over brunch or dinner. Be aware of what you’re eating so it doesn’t suddenly creep up on you, meaning that on a Bad China Day your weight is yet another thing you don’t like about being here. Beijing has an increasing number of organic markets, healthy options in restaurants and fantastic sports facilities to help you keep up healthy habits.

Learn the language. Beijing has some English speakers; however living here is much easier if you have the basics. There are a number of ways to learn: group lessons, one-on-one classes or even taking a course at BLCU (Beijing Language and Culture University). The right option for you depends on what you want to get out of your study. Group lessons will help you meet friends; however, one-on-one lessons are usually more beneficial if you need flexibility in your schedule. The university courses are for those who really want to focus and not only learn to speak but also read and write. They are very intensive and can be a great way to keep yourself busy and integrate yourself in Beijing if you’re so inclined.

favorite ornaments are the best items. Bedding, cushions, blankets, crockery and towels are very easy to purchase in Beijing, so don’t waste your space bringing these over unless you have an unlimited shipping allowance.

Accessorising in Beijing can be fun. Beijing’s IKEA is one of the biggest in Asia and has everything you need. For more customised items, you can go to the fabric market for curtains, throws and cushions. There are also wonderful shops throughout the city, with endless trinkets.

Also, plants and flowers are inexpensive in Beijing. You can finally have fresh flowers at home every day and not break the bank.

Once you’ve gone through the honeymoon period of your arrival in Beijing, you may start to feel frustrated, lonely and agitated if you’re not working. Even if you’re working it can be a challenge, but at least you get the opportunity to meet people, have regular interaction in the office and hopefully meet some colleagues who you can bond with.

If you’re not working, you need to be more proactive. However, in Beijing there’s a lot to do, and with a little bit of effort you can meet people and definitely enjoy the city.

Get involved in the community. If you have children there’s often a lot to do through the schools here. Whether you have children or not, join relevant expatriate societies. Brits Abroad, INN (International Newcomers Network), American Women’s Society, the German Club, to name but a few. These clubs and societies have regular events and you’ll be able to socialise and meet people.

There are many opportunities for charity work in China. Beijing has some excellent charities and after you’ve decided what cause(s) you want to support, contact the relevant charity and they’ll be more than happy for you to give your time and expertise.

If you want to find a job, Beijing is one of the best cities in China to do it as a trailing spouse. There are a lot of choices, providing you’re proactive, flexible and willing to work for most likely a lower salary than you’d get at home. Being locally hired means you don’t get the expatriate perks, and very often your salary falls between that of local Chinese and expatriates.

ONCE YOU’VE GONE THROUGH THE

HONEYMOON PERIOD OF YOUR ARRIVAL IN BEIJING, YOU

MAY START TO FEEL FRUSTRATED, LONELY

AND AGITATED IF YOU’RE NOT WORKING

Also, once you’re settled in Beijing, make sure you have a list of contacts and addresses to help you if you have a problem. Know where your hospitals are, and try some Traditional Chinese Medicine if you’re interested.

Finally, try and embrace the differences and difficulties you encounter. If you can laugh you’ll go a long way in Beijing. Not everything works as it should, and often with the best intentions in the world people are unable to assist you when you most need it. If you can take a deep breath and see the funny side, you’ll have a wonderful time in Beijing. Most importantly, please try and make some local friends, or perhaps a language exchange friend if you’re feeling up for sharing your experiences. Don’t forget that the goal is to make your negotiation phase as short and painless as possible. Beijing is a great place to live, and I hope you’ll enjoy your stay here as much as I do. x

Beijing’skyline

Commuting in Beijing

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WHAT’S YOUR EXPAT STORY?

So what’s your expat story, and how did it come about? Was it something

you planned, a long-burning desire, or just something that came out of the blue?

Me? Well I blame my mother, although as always, your mother always knows best. Way back at the tender age of 16, having gone back to school to take my A-levels in the northeast of England, it was clear that I needed to be doing something different with my life. Therefore I decided to apply for a job working in a bank.

An application form duly arrived in the post and I proceeded to complete all of the questions, albeit struggling with one of them: “Are you prepared to be mobile with the job?” Ever keen to do the right thing, I consulted my mother to see what she thought. Her answer made a lot of sense. “Say yes, because the bus station in Whitley Bay goes just about anywhere.”

So, having been accepted for the role with the bank, it was possibly a more mobile move than I expected when in 2000 the bank moved me to the Dubai office. Sadly the bus station in Whitley Bay had long since closed to make way for a shopping mall, meaning that we had to fly, so maybe mothers can’t be right about everything.

My assignment in Dubai was initially for three years and involved numerous visits to Saudi Arabia to visit clients of the bank in the main cities, as well

as one or two far-flung outposts too. In 2004 I moved to Hong Kong with the family, which is where we remain today, having now left the bank after an enjoyable 23 years.

During my 11 years overseas I have during the course of the job travelled to over a dozen countries in the Middle East and Asia, including a most enjoyable evening at the BISS Puxi May Ball in 2009. On that trip and many others over the years, I gradually came to the conclusion that there are pros and cons in every expat posting, and the way we deal with the challenges provides us with the long-term foundations of our future. I have found that the issues I and my family face are basically the same, wherever we live.

Expat conversations when people meet tend to include the following three questions:

•How long have you been an expat?

•How long did you originally plan to be away from your home country?

•How long will you stay here?

Very quickly, I realised that the answers to these questions formed a similar pattern:

Anything up to 40 years was not uncommon.

People rarely had a plan to initially stay away longer than two-three years.

I GRADUALLY CAME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT THERE ARE PROS AND CONS IN EVERY EXPAT

POSTING

”Rarely does anyone look further ahead than two more years.

Personally, if asked these three questions I’d be no different in my answers; and while I would say to you that for question 3, I would hope to stay overseas for the long term, nobody really knows for sure. A lot of this comes down to the cost of living where you are, your ability to provide the best for your family and ultimately having the financial means to sustain all of this.

Challenges exist for all of us both personally and financially, and often the crisis you are experiencing today becomes something you learn from and in the future often (hopefully) laugh about. It may be a problem with the children, relationship issues, personal injury or a complete financial disaster.

One of my own classics was that as an avid footballer, I unfortunately sustained a bad knee injury in Dubai, requiring a full knee reconstruction. The operation seemed to go well, but as the days progressed following the operation the pain got worse. I eventually went back to see the surgeon, who expressed concern about the wound. Upon closer probing, he started to pull bugs the size of

NEIL JENSEN EXPLORES THE EXPAT EXPERIENCE

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woodlice out of my knee. It transpired that the eggs had originated in the hair of our domestic helper and nested in the bed, and were feasting on the wound each night. These days, I put it down as ‘expat life’ and can laugh about it, though I don’t remember feeling the same way at the time.

We all have numerous tales that we enjoy sharing (often more than once) in a social setting, which is one of the upsides of expat life in my view. Sadly, and all too often, we also hear tales of personal misfortune from a financial perspective, often as a result of circumstances but sometimes due to receiving the wrong advice, or more commonly not understanding what is being taken on in the first place.

Something I have found fairly common over the years, especially within close-knit expat communities, is a willingness to openly discuss personal financial ventures. In fact, I can still remember sitting in a client’s living room in Saudi Arabia many years ago with an audience of people asking me

more questions about the individual’s investments than he did. The reason for their presence was probably more to do with the fact that the client made the best wine on the compound and any excuse to come and drink it was readily accepted, but it was clear to me nonetheless that people were far more open when discussing personal financial issues than I was used to.

Whatever your reasons for becoming an expatriate, you probably have a high level of expertise in your chosen field and are hopefully remunerated accordingly for this. Unfortunately, when discussing how to save and invest this hard-earned money, you are all too often expected to be an expert in all things financial and can be swept along by numerous success stories, jargon and terminology that you don’t understand, just going with the flow on the basis that everyone else is doing it, therefore so should you.

Over the coming issues, I will try to peel back the layers when it comes

to buying property, opening a bank account, obtaining a mortgage or investing that hard-earned money. I will explore some of the jargon that is used and strip it down into plain English, hopefully giving you the confidence to ask the right questions and to understand what it is you want to do and how you should do it.

While you may not be planning to stay away from home beyond two more years, this may well change; therefore you need to ensure that you are maximising the opportunities that expat life gives you while retaining flexibility for future changes if appropriate.

Anything can be as complex or as simple as one wishes to make it, and relevant education not only provides knowledge, but also gives you guidance for planning and managing your life, as well as meeting the objectives you have for you and your family. x

Hong Kong’s Skyline

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IT’S VERY IMPORTANT THAT

YOU’RE CLEAR ABOUT SAFETY

GUIDELINES WITH THE DRIVER FROM

THE ONSET.

”By Ryan Metz

LIFE IN CHINA: YOUR FAMILY DRIVER

Unquestionably, one advantage of life as an expatriate in China is

the availability of affordable domestic help; for some, this means not having to wash dishes, shop for groceries or mow a lawn. Back home, the idea of hiring a personal car and driver may be an unthinkable luxury. In China, however, many expatriates employ family drivers, and not just for reasons of convenience – expatriates cite safety concerns as a key reason. In fact, many companies mandate and even provide a car and driver benefit for expatriates, as a means of helping to ensure safety and reduce potential liability.

From getting the children to school on time and shuttling the ayi to the local market for fresh vegetables to ferrying parents on errands and business meetings, the driver is expected to manage all tasks with ease. Understandably, the driver quickly becomes an integral part of the expatriate family’s daily routine. Moreover, with such intimate insight into a family’s life, strong relationships often develop between drivers and their employers. But as with any partnership, friction and

arguments can arise. In many cases, this may be attributed to a lack of communication and cross-cultural misunderstandings. Fortunately, many of these gaps can be bridged through patience, communication and cultural understanding.

Safety

Customs regarding driving in China may seem completely foreign to many expatriates. Road rules are vague or often ignored. Cars, rather than pedestrians, appear to have the right of way. The perception of appropriate driving speed and safety are not always compatible.

Expats new to China often feel uncomfortable with local driving practices. Riding in a car that is racing through heavily congested streets of pedestrians, bicycles and large buses can be unnerving. After sitting in traffic, drivers often speed towards the next stop light, making frequent and erratic lane changes. Some drivers resist seatbelts, offering reasons such as “they’re uncomfortable” and “wearing a seatbelt is an omen of bad luck… it means I’ll get into a car accident.”

As a result, it’s very important that you’re clear about safety guidelines with the driver from the onset. Some drivers believe that if they arrive at a destination quickly you’ll be impressed by their driving skills. State your preference for driving at a moderate speed, and explain that arriving on time or even late is not as important as driving safely. Taking the pressure off arriving early to work or school will allow the driver to feel more at ease about slowing down.

Also, let the driver know that seatbelts are mandatory when driving your family. Provide an example by buckling up your children and yourself, and explain that he must do the same. As the use of safety belts is not regularly observed in China, reminding the driver – even if he seems to forget repeatedly – is important.

Tidiness

Drivers in China spend most of their waking hours behind the wheel of the car. As a result, the front seat areas may sometimes seem untidy – meals are eaten and naps are taken in the driver’s seat, and the latest newspaper, along with a cigarette and a flask of tea, is often enjoyed while at the helm.

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In most cases, drivers do not own the vehicle they drive. Although the leasing company requires the driver to maintain the vehicle to a certain extent – such as washing the vehicle once a week – it may be vague on other upkeep details. Therefore, many drivers adhere only to the minimum maintenance requirements specified by the employer. As the driver’s employer, it is recommended that you communicate your expectations for vehicle maintenance, and perhaps even keep a regular cleaning schedule on a spreadsheet. Drivers are accustomed to checklists, and are usually happy to sign off on a daily cleaning checklist that shows they are performing required duties. For example, you can ask the driver to wash the car on a weekly basis, clean and vacuum daily and wash the windows each morning, recording it all on a signed checklist.

Being a driver entails a lot of down time, and smoking is often a key enjoyment during the quiet hours of waiting. Bear in mind that if you don’t want the driver smoking in the car, emphasis this point very early, ideally before hiring him. A driver who is routinely criticised or denied their

regular smoke will quickly become disgruntled.

Personal time

The driver may have family living in a remote city, with only a couple of opportunities to visit them each year. To afford the cost of leasing a car, leasing companies place high demands on drivers. It’s not unusual for them to work very long hours, seven days a week. Drivers will often be very accommodating in working weekends or occasional late nights if it means they can earn more money.

Chinese customs and holidays are important to the driver. Learning and practising a few of these customs will go far in building a positive relationship. Chinese New Year in February and Chinese National Day in October are times when many drivers want to return home to their families. These may also be times you want to take the family on a trip to the countryside and have the driver be your guide. It’s recommended that during these important Chinese family holidays, you let the driver’s wishes take priority. Some drivers will work the holidays, as it means overtime pay; however, if your driver wishes to return

home during a long Chinese holiday, it’s best to be understanding and make arrangements for a temporary driver.

Holidays also offer an opportunity to follow a few Chinese traditions with the driver. The leasing contract will not require it, and your employer will not reimburse you, but giving the driver a red envelope, or hong bao, at Chinese New Year is a respectful and significant gesture. The cash inside the red envelope is often the equivalent of approximately one month’s salary for the driver, or an amount of RMB500-1,000 will also suffice. A small Christmas gift or a box of mooncakes during Mid-Autumn Festival are also appropriate gestures to show you appreciate their work.

In most cases, the benefits and convenience of having a personal driver in China outweigh the challenges. On the whole, drivers in China are honest people trying to support their families while working hard to meet your family’s transportation needs. If you treat the driver with respect and understanding, there is a good chance he will become an integral part of your life as an expatriate in China. x

Typical expat transportation

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By LLoyds TSB

OFFSHORE BANKING

There are many advantages to living and working abroad, such

as a chance to make new friends, discover a new culture and broaden your horizons. But as far as your finances go, there can also be extra complexities and frustrations. Lloyds TSB International talks about some of the common concerns that expatriates face when they first move to work abroad.

Q1: What sort of bank account do I need when I am working abroad?

You have two main options for getting a foreign salary paid into your account. Get a local bank account when you arrive; or open an offshore bank account. In some cases, if you are posted overseas by an employer, everything from visas to your bank account to your new home may be organised for you. This will save you a lot of time and hassle. But even if you haven’t opened an offshore account before you arrive China, don’t worry. Just sit back, relax and focus on the immediate things first. You can always set up an offshore banking account later, after you have settled into your new life.

Q2: If I already have a local bank account, do I still need to open an offshore bank account?

Even if you have a local bank account, you might still want to open an offshore bank account for several reasons. If your salary is paid in a local currency, you may want to be able to convert your salary into a foreign currency easily. Sometimes, you may still have bills to pay, or may have let your flat in your home country. An offshore bank account enables you to set up payments easily over the phone or Internet, and you can arrange standing orders/direct debits in foreign currencies as well via the offshore bank account. Opening a bank account in the currency of your choice can also make a difference because it prevents you from suffering from sudden changes in foreign exchange rates.

Q3: Should I keep my savings at home while I’m working abroad?

Relocation and repatriation are very common these days. A large number of our clients move around between different jobs or move back to their home country. Many people in Asia in particular express uncertainty as

IF YOU ONLY PLAN TO STAY IN CHINA FOR A FEW YEARS,

AN OFFSHORE BANK ACCOUNT

CAN BE IDEAL FOR YOU.

”to where they and their families will be located in a few years’ time, and where their principal source of income will be generated.

If you only plan to stay in China for a few years, an offshore bank account can be ideal for you. You can keep your savings in a portable offshore account, giving you easy and convenient access to your savings abroad and allowing you to send money overseas wherever you are without having to go into a branch.

Q4: What if I am constantly relocating?

For people who are constantly

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relocating, being able to move your money around and to have your finances carefully organised is especially important. You certainly don’t want to switch banks every time you switch countries. Having a globally accessible offshore bank account means that you don’t have to open new accounts, or close existing ones, when you leave China and relocate to other places. You will have immediate access to your money when you eventually return to your home country or when you have to move to another country. Regardless of your offshore banking and where the funds are held, you must of course be aware of your various tax liabilities depending on your particular circumstances.

Q5: I am British. Is it best to keep my money in an ISA?

Unfortunately, if you are living overseas, you will no longer be able

to make contributions to a UK ISA. The only exception to this rule is for members of the British armed forces. Tax is a hugely complex topic, with legislation changing all the time, so as ever with tax planning, you should always seek individual advice.

Q6: If I already have an account with my local branch in my home country, I don’t need to open another offshore bank account, do I?

In this case, the first thing you need to make sure is whether your bank is set up to deal with the needs of expatriate customers. Not all banks have the expertise and set-up to meet the international banking needs of their customers when they move overseas, and they may not be able to offer help when things go wrong thousands of miles away, not to mention various other practical difficulties due to different time zones.

Q7: Is there anything prospective customers should be wary of when choosing an offshore banking provider?

In terms of offshore banking services, some banks in Asia simply act as ‘post offices’ for their parent operations overseas. Customers have to bear in mind that dealing with ‘post office’ operations may cause delays and other frustrations. It is therefore important to look for a service provider with a local presence and English-speaking staff.

Remember…

Wherever in the world you end up, it’s vital to remember that your financial situation is critical. Settling into a new culture is far easier on a sound economic footing, so getting your finances in order with help from an expert is the best first step towards your new life. x

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By Meagan Little

THIRD CULTURE KIDS

The business of relocation is all about handling people who find

themselves in a foreign country and a different culture. Many assignees are families, and with that comes a lot of worry about how children will adjust to the move and the new surroundings. This worry can be extremely stressful for parents and children, causing the whole move to become very difficult. For the relocation industry, it’s vital that this worry is understood and addressed throughout the move, to ensure a successful transfer of the assignee to their new environment.

When a child is moved from one culture to the next, they instantly begin forming their own ‘third’ culture to incorporate all the new and the old that they come into contact with, making them third culture kids (TCKs). A third culture child is someone who has grown up in a culture not their own. They feel that they can no longer completely assimilate with their home culture, and as they are foreign cannot completely assimilate with their host culture. How each child handles this cultural jumble depends of course on personality, duration of stay, age, parental attitude and other factors.

Growing up abroad gives kids a greater understanding of other cultures, as they have the chance to come into contact with children from all over the world in school. Their friends are from various countries, opening their eyes to different cultures. They become more aware of the fact that there are different foods, smells, tastes, ways of celebrating and so on. This gives them

a flexibility and sensitivity that can be more difficult to obtain living in their home country.

Learning and hearing foreign languages is also an important factor in the cultural growth of TCKs. The hope of many parents is that their children will learn one or even more languages while abroad. This may not happen automatically though, and It’s very important for parents to ensure that there’s some aspect of their child’s life that is submerged in the language they should learn – be that extra language lessons, a special activity or even just spending time with a maid or nanny who doesn’t speak the child’s native tongue.

The flip-side to being culturally aware and flexible is a sense of lacking cultural roots. Ideally, children will feel they have stability of where they come from and what they stand for. This generally comes from family rather than culture. Wherever their family is – this is home and they know what social and cultural rules apply. It’s important to have consistency in the home environment, not only in terms of rituals but also in terms of rules and values.

In fact, returning home can sometimes be a problem, revealing a gap in knowledge of TV shows, commercials and other cultural touchstones; and children’s peers in their home country may not understand their experiences. Reverse culture shock does exist, and every child deals with it differently. Some may see their return home as yet another adventure.

WHEN A CHILD IS MOVED FROM ONE

CULTURE TO THE NEXT, THEY INSTANTLY BEGIN FORMING THEIR OWN ‘THIRD’ CULTURE TO

INCORPORATE ALL THE NEW AND THE OLD

THAT THEY COME INTO CONTACT WITH

”Going to school in a foreign country puts great emphasis on social skills and also builds empathy. At any international school around the world, every student has been the new kid at one time or another. TCKs tend to have a sense of openness and confidence in handling new situations, simply because they have to! During school they inevitably say many goodbyes to good friends; they have to make new friends continuously. This can of course lead to having many good friends all over the world, but can also create a situation where a protective mechanism is built up and out of sight is out of mind, leaving the TCK with few friends from a specific period in their life.

Do the advantages of being a TCK outweigh the disadvantages? TCKs will always be different; they will always have a different way of perceiving the world and a unique understanding of the challenges of a multi-cultural environment. In the modern world these are key skills.

There are plenty of resources to help you better understand your third cultural kid. Two websites that might provide you with more insight are www.tckworld.com and www.tckid.com.

Whatever you do as a parent, tell your child that their life will be different, that the lessons they learn along the way as a TCK will be valuable tools in their adult life and that, most importantly, they are not alone. x

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KEEPING IN TOUCH WITH LOVED ONES CAN HELP REDUCE

HOMESICKNESS, WHICH IS CRUCIAL WHEN

YOU FIRST RELOCATE. NOWADAYS, THERE’S A WIDE VARIETY OF

LOW-COST, QUICK AND USER-FRIENDLY WAYS TO

MAINTAIN CONTACT

”By Expat Essentials

GET IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME

JETTING OFF TO THE RIGHT START

Relocating overseas is an exciting experience, yet the flurries

of preparation beforehand can overshadow one crucial consideration – how to give your relocation the best chance of succeeding. While there’s no way of guaranteeing success, there are steps you can take to give yourself the best possible start. Paul Retchless, Manager of Sales & Marketing at Crown Relocation, has put together some practical tips to help you along your way.

Before you go…

ResearchTime is a luxury that many people don’t have in abundance when it comes to relocating, but the more time you can put aside to do some research, the better. While the thought might be off-putting, it will pay dividends later on and help you to avoid mistakes.

Consider what you would set up if you moved house in your own country, such as a phone line, the Internet and local services, and find out what information you’ll be required to provide in order to do this in your new location.

If you’re using relocation specialists, your representative will be able to advise you accordingly and direct you to informative websites such as www.crownrelo.com; otherwise you should be able to find out more details and legal requirements from government and service provider websites.

Find local places of interest Locating in advance places that you’ll need to go, such as a supermarket, can be a great time and stress saver. It’s worth marking them on a map so that you can find your way around when you’re out and about. Crucially, this also means you won’t need to rely on the Internet when you arrive. After all, it could take some time to organise

phone lines and Internet access for your new home.

This is also a useful way to help you establish elements of your current lifestyle that you wish to continue, such as going to a gym, cinema or restaurants. Continuing the activities that you’re used to will help you avoid feeling homesick. If you do find yourself feeling down or disappointed about the relocation, try to be realistic about the issues you’re facing, and don’t simply stay at home. Find places you enjoy and establish routines that work for you.

Learn about your new country It’s perfectly natural to experience culture shock when you arrive, so it can be very beneficial to prepare yourself for those differences. You may think that some countries have similar cultures to the UK, but that doesn’t mean you won’t feel the effects of culture shock. No matter how alike the countries are, it can often help to take part in an intercultural training course to get a true understanding of the new culture.

The more you know about your new surroundings, the better placed you’ll be to connect with the locals and understand the way the country is governed. If you can, visiting your new location before you move will also help you know what to expect.

Explore every opportunity for employment Whether you’re relocating on your own or with your family, arranging a job from afar can be tricky, but don’t give up hope.

The benefits of a stable job are clear. If you’re employed in your new location, you’ll become accustomed to the local area much more quickly. Working will help you establish a routine and build up your personal contacts. Try to stay focused on what you want to do, and

get in touch with as many companies as possible so that you have something lined up when you arrive.

Finding the perfect padYou’ll feel more settled if you have somewhere to call your own, but that doesn’t mean you need to buy a house! Simply find somewhere you can use as a permanent base, rather than rely on a hotel. If you’re relocating on your own and don’t like the thought of renting a property by yourself, look online for potential house shares.

Remember to take into account the local area when choosing your new home. Make sure you pick somewhere with easy access to your job, suitable schools and local amenities that allow you to familiarise yourself with the area more quickly and get used to your surroundings.

Secure school places Routines can be very important for children, so starting school shortly after you arrive can help both you and your children to establish a routine and settle in. By arranging a school for your child before the relocation, you’ll avoid a last-minute panic to find somewhere suitable when you arrive.

If you have time to visit schools in the area, you’ll have a chance to explore the facilities, meet the teachers and get a feel for what kind of school you want your child to attend.

Once you’ve arrived…

ExploreOnce you’re over the jet lag, you’ll undoubtedly be excited and full of enthusiasm about your new destination. You really should harness

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the language, as well as learn about the local culture. What’s more, you can use their experiences with local services, from dentists to tap classes, to find out the best places to use.

Remember – they’ve been through the same process as you and will therefore know and understand what you’re going through, as well as the needs you might have. Don’t be shy about asking for help.

Make it work for youSimply put, there’s nothing quite like research to set your relocation in the right direction. Seek as much assistance as you can to help to ease the burden, and get your friends and family involved in the process – they’ll be more than happy to help you get the best start you can. x

this energy as much as possible – now is the time to get your map out and explore the local area. This will immediately give you a sense of where you are, which will help to build your feelings of comfort and familiarity.

Don’t let distance keep you apartKeeping in touch with loved ones can help reduce homesickness, which is crucial when you first relocate. Nowadays, there’s a wide variety of low-cost, quick and user-friendly ways to maintain contact.

The Internet is a great way of keeping the cost of staying in touch down. Software such as Skype allows you to phone people online for free for as long as you like, and if you both have webcams you’ll be able to see each other while you chat.

Social networking websites such as Facebook allow you to share photos, have live chats and catch up on what’s happening back home. Make sure you keep your profile up-to-date so your loved ones back home can see what you’re up to and, in turn, keep you posted on the latest from them.

Join expat groups Investigate local expat groups and make an effort to join as many as possible. The members of these groups can be a vital source of encouragement, practical assistance and information to help you settle in.

Expat groups are also a great way to build your support network and make friends, which can be particularly important if you’re in a country with a different first language to your own. Expats will be able to help you practise

Beijing cityscape

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”

OLDER TEENAGERS CRAVE

INDEPENDENCE AND YET STILL

EXPECT AND NEED THE GUIDANCE OF

PARENTS

”

PARENTS, CHILDREN ANDUNIVERSITY

An older teenager craves independence and yet still expects

and needs the guidance of parents. One moment they’re confident that they can conquer the world and make all decisions on their own, and the next they’re overwhelmed, wondering how they’ll ever make all the decisions needed to get into the right university. This is where it gets confusing. Parents want to know the correct amount of involvement a parent should have in the university application process.

Because each child is different and each parent-child relationship is different, it’s important to first assess both your and your child’s expectations by asking the basic questions: “What do I want for my child from a university education? What does my child want from a university education?” Following are a few guidelines for how parents can encourage and support rather than add to the pressure.

UNDERSTANDING EXPECTATIONS

Parents, ask yourself some tough questions. Do you want to wear the Cambridge sweatshirt when you play tennis with your friends? Sure, who wouldn’t? But dig a bit deeper and get to what really concerns you about sending your child off to university. Not everyone has the same answer, but many parents have fairly similar issues. One parent recently said to me, “I just want to make sure she makes it in the world, that after university she can either get a good job or has found that passion to follow a further course of study. I want her to find her place in the world.” Other parents see university as a means to financial stability for their child – success, independence and opening up more opportunities.

Whatever the reason, make sure you understand what it really is you want for your child. If it’s success and happiness you want for them, remember that success only comes when a person loves what they’re

doing. A person that follows his or her passion is more likely to work hard and become committed to their field, with greater results, than someone struggling in a field they hate just to make more money.

Second, it’s important to have your son or daughter go through the same exercise independently. What are they looking for in a university experience? On the website www.thestudentroom.com.uk students were polled and rated these four factors in order of importance: 1) Course 2) Reputation of the university/league tables 3) Social concerns – who you can get along with – and 4) Location. Your child might already be doing this with their college counsellor, but if not get them to brainstorm and discuss what they’re looking for in their university experience. Many students I talk with are interested in finding the right course of study, but they also express other important factors:

• finding that perfect place for their first experience living away from home

• an education with a great reputation

• a comfortable atmosphere with students that have similar interests or values, such as a love of the outdoors or perhaps a love of city life

•opportunities to socialise with new friends

• intellectual students that will challenge their thinking

•opportunities to study with leading thinkers in their field of study or where famous politicians or scientists are frequent lecturers

Don’t be worried if they don’t know exactly what they want. This is meant to be a brainstorming list that they will revisit and revise again and again, as they gain a better understanding of what they want.

After parents and child have completed this brainstorming exercise on paper, listen to your child’s interests first, and then very carefully explain your interests for your child’s future. I say carefully, because as parents we tend to look way out into the future, seeing their path as far into the future as our own. Teenagers, on the other hand, are thinking more about the next few years. Saying that we want them to become financially independent can be interpreted by teenagers as “You’re on your own, kid. Get a job, get a life, I’m tired of paying your bills”; when instead, what we really want is for them to grow into that confident self-reliant person who will feel great providing for themselves.

It’s absolutely fine to discuss what a parent can and cannot afford and what help you expect the child to provide in financing their education. It’s not alright to simply say, “I want you to go to a top-20 university.” Perhaps what you’re really trying to say is that you want them to have every opportunity in life, and you want what’s best for them. Remember that the surest path to success for most people is to follow their interests and skills. The most important part of this exercise is listening to their interests and what they want from their college experience, to get a realistic grasp of what they’re thinking.

ENCOURAGEMENT, NOT PRESSURE

Knowing where their interests lie, a parent’s role is to then provide their child with the support and encouragement they need. That’s easier said than done, as one New York Times columnist wrote in a column about her daughter’s college

WHAT ROLE SHOULD PARENTS PLAY IN THEIR CHILD’S UNIVERSITY SEARCH?

By Liz Stucke, University Counsellor

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application process. In response to one university’s recommendation to parents that “support and encouragement are more appropriate than pressure and unsolicited advice” she responded, “I try hard to relieve her stress and don’t say much unless asked. Well, most of the time.” So what are some ways to offer support and encouragement without pressure and unsolicited advice? It always depends on your child’s desire for this support. But if your child hasn’t come home in their Junior year (US) or Year 12 (UK) talking about the university application process, then you need to start the conversation. Here are some easy ways to offer support without the pressure.

UNIVERSITY VISITS

You don’t have to make an appointment or do anything formal to visit a university. Just simply show up and walk around, especially if your teenager is on the “feeling more pressure than support” side of the equation. Then if time permits they can revisit universities that interest

them, and make an appointment to sit in on a few classes and even talk to the admissions director. For parents of younger children, expose them to universities by visiting them in a casual way. Whenever we travel, my husband and I make it a point to visit a university. Universities usually have a great place to eat and a courtyard or park to take walks in. From an early age children can start getting a sense of what they like and don’t like.

While it’s important that you allow your child to lead the process of researching and applying to universities, you can help them create a framework to narrow down the choices. Being an international student and seeing classmates apply to universities from all over the world can be overwhelming. There are so many universities to consider, where does one begin? It’s easy to understand how students become paralysed by choice and avoid even beginning the process. Breaking it down into some manageable pieces

can help start the process. A parent may suggest creating a spreadsheet and listing the various factors that the child feels strongly about, using this as a way to identify which universities match their interests. Here are some of the deciding factors that you can use to filter these choices.

Which country? Does your child want to go back to the country they were born in, or to the country of their current international school, or to another country altogether? This also determines whether they want to be close to their parents during this time or are fine living further away.

City or country? Small or large university? Are they more comfortable in a university where most of their life will be on campus: living quarters, meals, classes, shops? Or would they prefer a city-centre campus where the university is spread throughout a city and where city dwellers and university students intermingle (think Edinburgh)? Do they want access to a huge campus with diverse offerings (think University of California,

Beijing City International School graduation

Ceremony

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IT’S EASY TO UNDERSTAND

HOW STUDENTS BECOME

PARALYSED BY CHOICE

Of course, a teenager isn’t always ready to hear this when they receive a rejection from the school of their dreams. But allow for the grief and then help them pick up the pieces and continue the search. Either they will indeed find a new university and direction, or they might decide to take a gap year and reapply, or attend another university, make great grades and then reapply. As most parents know, life takes many unexpected turns. Some turns are annoying detours, but there is always something to be learned and gained along the way. x

Berkeley) or a smaller liberal arts college (think Colby College)?

Climate? While this is one of the last things people think should be involved in a university decision, it plays an important part in the emotional wellbeing of the student.

Course of study? If your child knows what they want to study then this makes it easier, but many students at the age of 18 don’t know yet, and that’s perfectly fine. These students will need to choose more liberal arts-focused universities to continue a more general education and then specialise in their third or junior year.

Social activities? Does social life revolve around a sorority, eating clubs, athletics? Does your child like the idea of attending a school with a big-name sports team (think American universities such as the University of Tennessee or the University of Florida)? Or would they prefer a university where the city and the arts are the source of social life and entertainment (think New York University or University College London)?

Cost and financial aid prospects? Will your son or daughter need to find a job to support their education? If so, ensure that this is permitted in the host country. Does the university

provide some type of financial aid or scholarship opportunities?

These are just a few examples of deciding factors that a student might put on their university spreadsheet. This framework is merely a tool to give your child a meaningful way of narrowing down choices; it’s not a final tally sheet. It helps create the list. What wins out in the end is usually the emotional attachment a student has for a university. Sometimes that emotional attachment is not fully understood, but can just be described as “it feels like the right place to go.”

Finally, the most important thing a parent provides is the emotional support needed during the roller coaster ride a teenager goes through when contemplating their future. Help them stay above the fray of gossip and hurt feelings that can go on at school about who is assured a spot at Cambridge, or why a certain person got into a university and another did not. Help them understand that in this process they are likely to get some rejections, and that they will be disappointed with some of the outcomes. But also remind them that in rejection and chaos new opportunities arise that might not have existed before.

Western Academy of Beijing Graduation

International School of Beijing Student practicing Wushu on the Great Wall

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THEY’RE NOT INTERESTED IN COMPARING

THEMSELVES TO OR COMPETING WITH

OTHERS – THEY’RE FAR MORE ENGAGED BY

THE IDEA OF REACHING THEIR OWN PERSONAL

GOALS.

”By Mark AngusPrincipalThe British International School

FOUR HABITS OF HIGHLY SUCCESSFUL LEARNERS

SUCCESSFUL LEARNERS LOVE A CHALLENGE

Successful learners love a challenge. They like being set a target and

then being challenged to reach it. For the truly successful learner, this is the most important part of academic life. They’re not interested in comparing themselves to or competing with others – they’re far more engaged by the idea of reaching their own personal goals.

This is why a teaching and learning environment where the emphasis is on setting challenging personal targets is so valuable, as it fosters in pupils a range of positive qualities that will serve them well throughout their lives. When students are used to having targets to aim for and, more importantly, to doing their very best to achieve them, they develop a whole host of other positive attributes as well.

Pupils in environments such as these become fearless learners, as they learn to embrace failure as part of the journey. This makes them confident learners, as they understand that academic success is not a mystery – the path towards achieving goals is clear and can easily be followed with hard work and application. In turn, these pupils also learn to recognise and embrace success and the wonderful warm glow that comes from setting out to achieve something and then doing it. This feeling very quickly becomes addictive, and they want more and more of it!

Pupils who are used to being challenged also have a high degree of self-awareness and are not afraid to analyse their work, both when it’s been successful and when it hasn’t. Allied to this, successful learners are

independent learners – they take responsibility for their learning and they know that achieving their targets is, ultimately, up to them. Of course teachers, parents and peers are there to help, but deep down the successful learner knows that in the end it’s in their hands. And ultimately this liberates them – they know that they have the freedom to succeed or fail, and that the way things turn out is therefore entirely up to them.

Finally, the student who knows how to hit a target also knows the value of hard work. Goals are not reached without endeavour and so the successful student discovers early on that real success – the success that comes with achieving what you set out to do – is only possible with a great deal of hard work. Highly successful learners don’t expect things to be handed to them on a plate. They know that working towards a target requires self-discipline, self-reflection and a good helping of self-awareness. Who would argue that these are not pretty valuable qualities in life too?

SUCCESSFUL LEARNERS

LOVE TO WORK WITH OTHERS

A positive learning environment, therefore, is one that offers pupils chances to work together in a variety of ways. Such an environment probably encourages a lot of peer evaluation; it encourages pupils to work with other age groups and to be both learner and teacher; and big, bold project work is a regular feature of school life. In addition, successful learners find their own ways to work with others too. They are the students who put together a band, get involved in an after-school activity or set up a study group. Successful learners know that, no matter how much they think

they know, there’s so much more to find out about the world… and who better to learn from than the people around them?

So why does being a good team player make you a successful learner? For a start, someone who likes to collaborate is going to have many more opportunities to discover whether they have any leadership potential. It’s no good wanting to be a leader if no one else wants to work with you! Working with groups also provides students with opportunities to take on responsibility and to begin to understand the meaning of duty. Knowing that the success or failure of a group project depends on everyone’s contributions is a valuable lesson for young people to discover, and highly successful learners understand and act upon this.

Consider also how teamwork is integral to sporting and musical success. The analogy with a winning football team or a famous orchestra is obvious, but it applies equally to individual sportsmen and musical soloists. Rafael Nadal may be a star in a solo sport, but when you hear him speak he always talks about his success in terms of ‘we’, never ‘I’. He has people around him to help him, such as coaches, nutritionists and trainers, but this would be pointless if he didn’t listen to them and follow their advice. He may be the guy on the court hitting the ball, but he’s just as much a part of a team as someone playing football, hockey or volleyball. The same applies to a musical soloist. Even the greatest, most virtuoso piano concertos are written to be performed with orchestras, and even the greatest soloist in the world is going to sound pretty rotten if they can’t keep in time with the string section!

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In addition, there are of course some more pragmatic considerations. Universities want students who will be a part of and contribute to their communities, so they’re always more well-disposed to pupils capable of working with others and looking outside of themselves. Employers are the same – the most valuable employees are those who work well in a team and know how to compromise, accept others’ failings and see a bigger picture – all extremely valuable traits that successful learners gain from working collaboratively.

SUCCESSFUL LEARNERS

LOVE TO LEARN INSIDE AND OUTSIDE SCHOOL

Loving learning inside and outside the classroom manifests itself in a variety of different behaviours and attitudes. For instance, a successful learner is not upset when there’s a change of routine, classroom or teacher, or when they’re asked to do something different or unexpected. They’re able to deal with change in a positive way and don’t let a break from how things are usually done become an excuse for not doing their best. Mr Smith is absent? Okay, being in Mrs Jones’s class will be fun. Maths now instead of History? That’s fine, I have some catching up to do. You want me to stay behind after school to help finish a project? Sure, no problem, we need to get it done.

At the same time, successful learners relish the chance to get out of the classroom. They thrive on excursions and field trips. They love to celebrate festivals and national days. They want

to engage with the wider community. They can’t wait to go on their International Award journey. They relish working with students from other schools, cities and countries at a Model United Nations conference. In short, they can’t get enough of new and different experiences. Keep throwing things at them and they’ll keep rising to the challenge.

In addition, successful learners also look outside the classroom, both literally and metaphorically. In fact, they look beyond everything they know to the big, wide world outside. They’re the students organising a charity fund-raising event or getting a recycling programme started. They’re the ones who participate in International Award and Model United Nations. They’re the ones who join every club and society going. They’re the ones who truly engage with their local communities. In short, they embrace every opportunity that comes their way.

And you’ll easily be able to recognise these successful learners. They’re adaptable and flexible. They’re active, energetic and confident in the outside world. They’re not frightened of life (an important quality for international school students in particular) and show initiative. You’ll also be able to recognise in them a sense of duty and responsibility. They care about other people. They want to save the world.

And for these types of learners, the opportunities are endless. They’ll be in demand from universities from around the world. And then they’ll be in demand from employers around

the world. A positive, questioning, energetic outlook is what’s required in today’s global employment market, and even more so in the future. The successful business people, sportsmen, diplomats and artists of tomorrow are the successful learners of today. This is why they’re so engaged right now, both inside and outside school – it’s an extremely big world out there, and they’re learning how to be an important part of it.

SUCCESSFUL LEARNERS LOVE SUPPORT

So try to find out more about what really engages your children, which means more than simply asking them what they did in school that day. Encourage them to talk about their studies, but also about what makes them laugh, or what makes them angry in the world around them. Help them to see the benefits of working hard and don’t reward a lack of effort or encourage excuses. Don’t do their work for them, and certainly don’t tell them they’re terrific irrespective of what they do. Instead, celebrate success when it’s been earned and show them that you value endeavour as highly as attainment. Talk about the wider world and make helping others a regular part of family life. Give them opportunities to show responsibility and to take the initiative. Help them to understand that one day soon they’re going to be running the world.

After all, the successful learners of today go on to become the successful people of tomorrow – and isn’t that what we want for them all? x

YCIS Beijing Students