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Bentley Assisted Living at Northminster | May 2017 Refer a friend… Get $1500! Contact us for details. What’s Your Relationship with Aging? Our relationship with the aging process not only tells us important things about how we see ourselves but also about our willingness to see others of all ages as equally viable human beings. by Jeanette Leardi, ChangingAging Contributor Forgive me for stating the obvious, but it’s worth noting that people have varying degrees of awareness of this fact. Some of us are con- scious of the reality of getting older on an almost constant basis. Others of us barely give it a thought. Most of us fall somewhere in the middle. What’s more important, perhaps, isn’t how often we think about aging but rather, how we feel about it when we do. Are those thoughts positive or negative ones? Do we welcome them or try to keep them from coming to mind at all? Our relationship with the aging process not only tells us important things about how we see ourselves but also about our willingness to see others of all ages as equally viable human beings. And so, the question arises: What’s your relationship with aging? We ask the question in this way because living with aging is analogous to having a relationship with another person, which can be described in one of four ways. Aging as an “enemy”: People who experience aging in combat- ive terms are doing so from a place of fear. To them, getting older means becoming more vulnerable to inevitable degeneration and decline. It’s a threat they struggle to defeat despite the reality that aging is a natural process of life. Nevertheless, they do all that they can to hold aging at bay for as long as possible by using such weap- ons as Botox, hair dye, and suspect nutritional supplements. Aging as a “stranger”: People who treat aging as a stranger are basi- cally in denial about the fact that they are getting older. Aging takes on the veneer of unfamiliarity, of being foreign to one’s personal expe- rience. “Who me?” they say. “No way! I’m not old.” Of course, this reac- tion is based on the same kind of fear with which one confronts an enemy, only the tactic is more one of flight rather than fight. Aging as a “neighbor”: Many people treat aging in the same way that they might tolerate an unpleasant next door neighbor whom they occasionally feel obligated to acknowledge. They deal with their aches and pains as inevitable latter-years symptoms and stoically endure experiences of ageism, all the while failing to perceive any advantages to getting older. Aging as a “friend”: This kind of relationship is characterized by meaningful engagement. Like any friendship, aging can be some- times challenging and problematic but also deeply rewarding in the many experiences and insights it brings. People who treat the aging process as a valued friend mindfully seek to nurture it and defend its honor and dignity. They stand up to ageism just as they would to a bully who is pushing their friend around. And they look forward to more years of such a fulfilling relationship. It’s easy to see that each of us not only falls somewhere along this ene- my-stranger-neighbor-friend spectrum, but that during the course of our lives we often journey from one type of relationship with aging to another. Our relationship with aging can remain as a loving friendship through- out our lives when we understand that it’s a cumulative experience that provides us with an ever-changing variety of psychological and spiritual gifts –– if we are open to anticipating and accepting them. So I ask again: What’s your relationship with aging? If you’ve had a falling out somewhere along the line, maybe it’s time to reconcile. Jefferson Dairy Queen is excited to have us join them for breakfast this month! They also have invited us to come and celebrate all our May birthday’s with them, and enjoy ice cream cake and sundaes! We are also going to be doing several things for Mother’s Day, such as Tranquil Spa from Jefferson GA coming and doing pampered hands, Mary with Mary Kay coming in and doing facials, and also having a Mother’s Day tea party! We are so excited to have all these events coming up and hope that everyone can attend! ACTIVITY HIGHLIGHT

Bentley Assisted Living at Northminster | May 2017 Assisted Living at Northminster | May 2017 Refer a friend ... She also really loves to ... Trip to the Library

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Bentley Assisted Living at Northminster | May 2017

Refer a friend…

Get $1500!

Contact us for

details.

W h a t ’ s Yo u r Re l a t i o n s h i p w i t h A g i n g ?Our relationship with the aging process not only tells us important things about how we see ourselves but also about our willingness to see others of all ages as equally viable human beings.

by Jeanette Leardi, ChangingAging Contributor

Forgive me for stating the obvious, but it’s worth noting that people have varying degrees of awareness of this fact. Some of us are con-scious of the reality of getting older on an almost constant basis. Others of us barely give it a thought. Most of us fall somewhere in the middle.

What’s more important, perhaps, isn’t how often we think about aging but rather, how we feel about it when we do. Are those thoughts positive or negative ones? Do we welcome them or try to keep them from coming to mind at all? Our relationship with the aging process not only tells us important things about how we see ourselves but also about our willingness to see others of all ages as equally viable human beings.

And so, the question arises: What’s your relationship with aging? We ask the question in this way because living with aging is analogous to having a relationship with another person, which can be described in one of four ways.

Aging as an “enemy”: People who experience aging in combat-ive terms are doing so from a place of fear. To them, getting older means becoming more vulnerable to inevitable degeneration and decline. It’s a threat they struggle to defeat despite the reality that aging is a natural process of life. Nevertheless, they do all that they can to hold aging at bay for as long as possible by using such weap-ons as Botox, hair dye, and suspect nutritional supplements.

Aging as a “stranger”: People who treat aging as a stranger are basi-cally in denial about the fact that they are getting older. Aging takes on the veneer of unfamiliarity, of being foreign to one’s personal expe-rience. “Who me?” they say. “No way! I’m not old.” Of course, this reac-tion is based on the same kind of fear with which one confronts an enemy, only the tactic is more one of flight rather than fight.

Aging as a “neighbor”: Many people treat aging in the same way that they might tolerate an unpleasant next door neighbor whom they occasionally feel obligated to acknowledge. They deal with their aches and pains as inevitable latter-years symptoms and stoically endure experiences of ageism, all the while failing to perceive any advantages to getting older.

Aging as a “friend”: This kind of relationship is characterized by meaningful engagement. Like any friendship, aging can be some-times challenging and problematic but also deeply rewarding in the many experiences and insights it brings. People who treat the aging process as a valued friend mindfully seek to nurture it and defend its honor and dignity. They stand up to ageism just as they would to a bully who is pushing their friend around. And they look forward to more years of such a fulfilling relationship.

It’s easy to see that each of us not only falls somewhere along this ene-my-stranger-neighbor-friend spectrum, but that during the course of our lives we often journey from one type of relationship with aging to another.

Our relationship with aging can remain as a loving friendship through-out our lives when we understand that it’s a cumulative experience that provides us with an ever-changing variety of psychological and spiritual gifts –– if we are open to anticipating and accepting them.

So I ask again: What’s your relationship with aging?

If you’ve had a falling out somewhere along the line, maybe it’s time to reconcile.

Jefferson Dairy Queen is excited to have us join them for breakfast this month! They also have invited us to come and celebrate all our May birthday’s with them, and enjoy ice cream cake and sundaes! We are also going to be doing several things for Mother’s Day, such as Tranquil Spa from Jefferson GA coming and doing pampered hands, Mary with Mary Kay coming in and doing facials, and also having a Mother’s Day tea party! We are so excited to have all these events coming up and hope that everyone can attend!

ACTIVITY HIGHLIGHT

DateSave

the

Events of This month

Monday, May 1st :Breakfast at Dairy Queen

Time: 8:30 am Dairy Queen in Jefferson invited us

to go and enjoy a delicious breakfast with them.

Wednesday, May 31st :Picnic Lunch at Hurricane Shoals

Time: 11:00 am We are going to enjoy a nice picnic

by the water at Hurricane shoals then take a walk around the park.

Staff Directory of

DEPARTMENT HEADS

Resident Of TheMONTH

Joanne SloterbeckJoanne Sloterbeck was born in Bessemer Alabama in 1935 and lived there until 1962 before moving to Georgia. She then met and married John Sloterbeck in 1974! Together they have two daughters and Joanne had four daughters from a previous marriage. She now has eleven grandchildren and five great grandchildren. Joanne graduated from Georgia State with a Masters in Early Childhood Education and an Elementary Education. She taught 1st grade for six years, 3rd grade for one year and Kindergarten for twenty three years. She also really loves to sew and do embroidery in her free time. Joanne has been a real pleasure to get to know. We are so happy to have her here with us.

Executive Director (Ext. 1144)Cindy Archer

[email protected]

Director of Business Administration (Ext. 1138)

Karlie [email protected]

Food Service Director (Ext.1150)Nelson Parker

[email protected]

Activities Director (Ext. 1143)Bianca Wheeler

[email protected]

Maintenance Director (Ext. 1156)Daniel Pelham

[email protected]

Health Service Director (Ext. 1140)Chrystal Edwards,LPN

[email protected]

Director of Community Relations (Ext. 1142)

Alice [email protected]

Memory Care Coordinator (Ext. 1238)Wilani Martin

[email protected]

Employee Of TheMONTH

Eden ThomasEden Thomas has a great sense of

humor! She is very dedicated, hard working and has been described as

“impressive.” Residents appreciate her attentiveness.

She is an asset to the Bentley family!

Resident Birthday : Jane Payne..................5/10th

Joyce Dorsey ............... 5/14th

Daisy Porter ............... 5/16th

Felix Wasylewski ....... 5/29th

Staff Birthdays: Aleesha Miller ............. 5/6th

Barbara Hedrick .......... 5/9th

Craig Stover ................ 5/11th

Nieka Reed ................. 5/19th

Benji Hill .................... 5/19th

Brandi Myrie ............. 5/20th

Daniel Pelham .......... 5/22nd

Gianna Fuller ............. 5/24th

Pat Shope .................. 5/30th

Friday, May 5th @ 3 pm :Cinco De Mayo Celebration

Bridgeway Hospice is coming out to have a fun filled afternoon with us making

margaritas and salsa with chips!

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BENTLEY ASSISTED LIVING AT NORTHMINSTER

10 REASONS FAMILIES FIGHT ABOUT SENIOR CARE

50 Sumner Way, Jefferson, GA 30549www.BentleyAtNorthminster.com

706-387-7000

Caring for an aging loved one can be one of the most stressful family milestones. The sheer difficulty of the task, its high cost, as well as underlying family issues can collide to create a perfect storm of discontent.

But when families put aside their differences and work together as a team for the best interest of their elderly loved one, they are often able to overcome this challenge and

assure that their parent’s last years aren’t marred by bickering and strife.Here are 10 reasons families fight about senior care, and advice about how to prevent these types of conflict from derailing you…continued from our last issue

7. Balancing Caregiving with Raising a Family60% to 75% of family caregivers are women. Very often, the same woman is raising children of her own and balancing the demands of a career to boot. It’s understandable that someone juggling these demanding roles, each of which could be considered a “full time job,” might get burned out.Possible Solution: Understand that your caregiving loved ones have limits and are not superheroes. Do what you can to ease the burden. Offer to help care for Mom or Dad, or your loved ones children, so she can have some time for herself. On the other hand, if you feel like you’re hanging on by a thread, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Consider arranging a family meeting to reorganize care for your older loved one in such a way that the burden is shared more equitably.

8. Caring for Both Parents at OnceWhile it’s great that your parents have been able to grow old together, caring for two parents simultaneously is doubly challenging. When both parents need advanced care, the physical and financial strain is immense. But it’s also challenging when the level of care needed is imbalanced, or the two parents

need different kinds of care – for example, one parent might need Alzheimer’s care while another needs skilled nursing. The heart wrenching prospect of having to separate your parents can cause tempers to flare, and the physical, financial, and logistical complexities of arranging care for two loved ones at once can raise stress levels to an all-time high.Possible Solution: Speak with a Senior Living Advisor or another local expert to learn about care options for your parents that you might not have been aware of. Many communities offer multiple levels of care, or even different kinds of care, which allows married couples to remain together when they wouldn’t ordinarily have been able to do so. Hold family meetings to ensure that everyone understands each other’s concerns, and work to define a mutually agreed upon strategy for caregiving.

9. End of Life CareLoved ones often battle fiercely about end of life care. One child may want to arrange hospice care for a terminally ill parent, while another may advocate that every day lived is a victory. In both cases family members want what is best for their older loved one, but disagree about what that means. This type of conflict can be avoided when seniors, well before a medical crisis, write a living-will that specifies end of life wishes, and appoint a health care proxy to help implement the specified plans.Possible Solution: Make sure that your parent has drafted a living-will and has designated a healthcare proxy.

10. Estates and InheritancesIt’s incredibly sad to see families fight over an inheritance, but it happens all too often. Whether the dispute is over a treasured family heirloom or a large sum of cash, it gets ugly fast. These ugly battles frequently occur when a will hasn’t been written or has become out of date, but they can even occur in cases when reasonable estate-planning measures have been taken.Possible Solution: Disputes about inheritances can be ideal cases for family mediators. A family mediator’s job is able to analyze these situations fairly and objectively, and help families find areas of common ground. While a perfect compromise may not be found through mediation, it’s almost always preferable to suing a close family member over an inheritance.