BFF Just as Long as We Are Together

8/13/2019 BFF Just as Long as We Are Together

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ALSO BY JUDY BLUME

The Pain and the Great One

The One in the Middle Is the Green Kangaroo

Frecle J!ice

Iggie"s #o!se

Other$ise Kno$n as Sheila the Great

Tales o% a Fo!rth Grade &othing

S!'er%!dge

F!dge(a(Mania

Bl!**er

Are Yo! There God, It"s Me- Margaret.

Starring Sall/ J. Freed0an as #ersel%

It"s &ot the End o% the 1orld

Then Again- Ma/*e I 1on"t

J!st as Long as 1e"re Together

#ere"s to Yo!- 2achel 2o*inson

BFF3 Best Friends Fore4er

Deenie

Tiger E/es


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P!*lished */ Delacorte Press

an i0'rint o% 2ando0 #o!se 5hildren"s Boos

a di4ision o% 2ando0 #o!se- Inc.

&e$ Yor

This is a $or o% %iction. &a0es- characters- 'laces- and incidents either are the 'rod!ct o% the a!thor"s i0agination or are!sed %ictitio!sl/. An/ rese0*lance to act!al 'ersons- li4ing or dead- e4ents- or locales is entirel/ coincidental.

Te6t co'/right 7 899; */ J!d/ Bl!0e

This edition contains the co0'lete and !na*ridged te6ts o% the original editions. This o0ni*!s $as originall/ '!*lished inse'arate 4ol!0es !nder the titles3

J!st as Long as 1e"re Together- co'/right 7 ; */ J!d/ Bl!0e

#ere"s to Yo!- 2achel 2o*inson- co'/right 7 (9(?9;(=

4?.


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J!d/ *l!0e

#i- Friends and 2eadersI"0 so ha''/ that these t$o *oos- %a4orites o% 0ine- are no$ a4aila*le in one *ig 4ol!0e. 1hen I %irst

ot the idea %or J!st as Long as 1e"re Together- I $as re0e0*ering *eing 'art o% a trio as I $as gro$ing'. Lie Ste'hanie- I had t$o *est %riends all thro!gh ele0entar/ school. There $ere ti0es $hen one or

another o% !s %elt le%t o!t */ the other t$o. And there $as a terri*le ti0e $hen one o% !s %elt *etra/ed */he others. So I no$ that *eing 'art o% a trio isn"t al$a/s eas/.

1hen the three o% !s started !nior high- e4er/thing changed. 1e *egan to gro$ a'art. It $as hard ando0eti0es 'ain%!l. I o%ten %elt that I $as the one $ho no longer %it in. B!t 0a/*e 0/ t$o %riends %elt thea0e $a/. I don"t no$. 1e ne4er taled a*o!t it. In ti0e- each o% !s %o!nd ne$ interests and ne$riends.

I had to %ind o!t %or 0/sel% that /o! can"t ha4e a *est %riend $itho!t *eing one. Friendshi' de'ends onr!st- caring- and lo/alt/. Yo! ha4e to $or at it. Yo! ha4e to 4al!e /o!r %riend. In se4enth grade- I 0et theirl $ho $o!ld *eco0e 0/ *est %riend %or li%e. There $as a connection *et$een !s %ro0 the *eginning.

1e $ere so0eti0es co0'etiti4e- $hich $asn"t good %or o!r %riendshi'- *!t so0eho$ $e got thro!gh that.

Ma/*e $e learned that *o/s and 'o'!larit/ co0e and go *!t neither is as i0'ortant as a tr!e %riend.Together- $e"4e learned $hat BFFreall/ 0eans.Be%ore I sat do$n to $rite these t$o *oos- I ne$ 0/ characters $ell- or tho!ght I did. B!t I lie it *est

$hen 0/ characters s!r'rise 0e as I"0 $riting- and these three girls and their %a0ilies certainl/ did.&othing t!rned o!t the $a/ I tho!ght it $o!ld. B/ creating %ictional %a0ilies and sit!ations that ids ha4e

o control o4er- I get to see ho$ the/ co'e. Sooner or later- 0ost real(li%e ids %ind the0sel4es init!ations the/ can"t control. Yo! can"t control /o!r %a0il/. Yo! can"t control /o!r %riends- either*!t at

east /o! get to choose /o!r %riends.Both Ste'hanie and 2achel ha4e to deal $ith 0aor %a0il/ changes. &either one $ants to tell the other

$hat"s going on at ho0e.So0eti0es %riendshi's change. 2achel doesn"t $ant to lose Ste'hanie- *!t she also $ants to ha4e

other %riends%riends %ro0 0!sic ca0'- %riends %ro0 0ath class. Ste'h is threatened */ this. I% 2achelnds ne$ %riends- $hat $ill ha''en to their %riendshi', At the sa0e ti0e- Ste'h $ants to *e %riends $ithAlison. And she doesn"t no$ ho$ to do that $itho!t tr/ing to 0ae Alison and 2achel %riends too. As the

e$ girl in to$n- Alison co0es !' $ith a $a/ to attract ne$ %riends. B!t she"s care%!l not to gi4e a$a/0!ch a*o!t her %a0il/. She $ants to *e lied %or hersel%. It"s not eas/ %or her to co0e into a %riendshi'hat has a long histor/. It"s not eas/ *eing ca!ght *et$een Ste'hanie and 2achel.

The thing isit"s good to ha4e %riends %ro0 di%%erent 'arts o% /o!r li%eschool- acti4ities- theeigh*orhood- s!00er. The/ $on"t all *eco0e /o!r BFF-*!t that"s oa/.I ho'e /o! eno/ these t$o no4els a*o!t Ste'hanie- 2achel and Alison. I"d al$a/s 'lanned to $rite

hree *oos- one %ro0 each girl"s 'oint o% 4ie$. B!t I ne4er got aro!nd to $riting Alison"s stor/. Ma/*eo0eda/.

I"d lo4e to hear %ro0 /o!. Yo! can 4isit 0e online at $$$.!d/*l!0e.co0. 5lic on Boo List- then onJ!st as Long as 1e"re Together and #ere"s to Yo!- 2achel 2o*inson to %ind o!t ho$ I chose the titlesor these t$o *oos- ho$ I na0ed the characters- and 0ore.
http://www.judyblume.com/http://www.judyblume.com/


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5O&TE&TS

5o4erOther Boos */ this A!thorTitle Page5o'/right

J!st as Long as 1e"re TogetherDedication5ha'ter

5ha'ter ?=

5ha'ter 9

5ha'ter \- 2achel said- staring.Did /o! hear $hat Alison said, I ased. She said he"s a co0'lete airhead.Yo! can"t !dge a 'erson"s intelligence */ ho$ he *eha4es in one class on his %irst da/ at a ne$

chool- 2achel said.Es'eciall/ i% he"s a co0el/ne$ 'erson- Alison said.Oh- right- I added- es'eciall/ i% he"s reall/ co0el/. Alison and I la!ghed and la!ghed.2achel '!shed !' her slee4es. So0eti0es the t$o o% /o! act lie co0'lete airheads


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El 5h!no

A!nt Denise ga4e Mo0 an e6ercise ta'e %or 5hrist0as. 1hen Mo0 got ho0e %ro0 $or on Monda/ight- she '!t on shorts and a T(shirt- sho4ed the ta'e into the 52 and !0'ed aro!nd doing so0ethingalled Jaercise.I 0ade 0/sel% a snac o% r/e *read slathered $ith crea0 cheese- then c!rled !' in 0/ %a4orite chair in

he den and $atched as Mo0 h!%%ed and '!%%ed her $a/ thro!gh the ta'e. Mo0 is sha'ed lie a 'ear-0all on to' and $ider on the *otto0. She sa/s there"s nothing /o! can do a*o!t the $a/ /o!"re *!ilt. It"s

all in the genes.I dra'ed 0/ legs o4er the ar0 o% the chair and de4o!red the r/e *read as Mo0 la/ on her 0at doingo0e ind o% %anc/ sit(!'s to an old Michael Jacson song. Mo0 co'ied e4er/thing the Jaercise leaderid. 1hen the leader ased- Are /o! s0iling, Mo0 s0iled. 1hen she ased- Are /o! still *reathing,

Mo0 sho!ted- YesYo! no$ $hat Eric Maca!la/ called 0e toda/, I ased Mo0.1hat, she said- $itho!t 0issing a *eat.#e called 0e El 5h!no N so then I called hi0 an asshole.I e6'ected Mo0 to gi4e 0e a lect!re a*o!t !sing !nacce'ta*le lang!age at school. B!t instead she

aid- Yo! ha4e gained $eight- Ste'h. 1h/ don"t /o! oin 0e N Jaercise is %!n She $as on herands and nees raising one leg to the side- then the other. Each ti0e she did- she groaned.

It doesn"t loo lie %!n- I said.It"s not as *ad as it loos. She $as 'anting so hard she co!ld *arel/ tal.1hen that n!0*er $as o4er the Jaercise leader a''la!ded and said- Gi4e /o!r gl!tes a handMo0 sat !' and a''la!ded- too.1here are /o!r gl!tes, I ased.Bac here- Mo0 said- gra**ing the lo$er 'art o% her *acside.Oh- I said.

The ne6t da/ Mo0 *ro!ght ho0e a digital scale. 1hen she ste''ed on it her $eight %lashed across the

creen in red n!0*ers. Yo!"re ne6t- Ste'h.&o thans.5o0e on NI saidno thansLoo- Mo0 said- I no$ /o! don"t $ant to tal a*o!t this *!t I"0 concerned a*o!t /o!r health. I need

o no$ e6actl/ ho$ 0!ch $eight /o!"4e gained since the school /ear *egan.A %e$ 'o!nds- I said. Act!all/- I had no idea ho$ 0!ch $eight I"d gained. The school n!rse $eighs

s the %irst $ee o% school *!t other than that I ha4en"t *een near a scale.Ste'hanie- Mo0 said- so!nding 4er/ serio!s- get on the scale.&ot $ith 0/ clothes on.Oa/ N then get !ndressed.

&ot in %ront o% /o!.I"0 /o!r 0other.I no$ That"s the 'oint.


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Then get !ndressed in the *athroo0 N *!t h!rr/ !'.I co!ld tell Mo0 $as losing 'atience $ith 0e. So I $ent to the *athroo0- too o%% all 0/ clothes-

$ra''ed 0/sel% in a to$el- then ran *ac to Mo0"s roo0 and ste''ed on the scale.Ste'hanie Mo0 said- as the n!0*ers %lashed.This scale is at least ten 'o!nds o4er$eight- I told her.&o- it"s not. It"s e6actl/ right. I"0 calling Dr. Kla%% in the 0orning. 1e"4e got to do so0ething a*o!t

his.Don"t call Dr. Kla%% I said. I co!ld !st see the Kla%% %a0il/ at the dinner ta*le taling a*o!t 0e.

Ste'hanie #irsch has gained !ite a *it o% $eight- Dr. Kla%% $o!ld sa/.

And Kara $o!ld sa/- I"0 not s!r'rised. I"0 at her l!nch ta*le and she"s *een 'igging o!t sinceThansgi4ing.Then Peter $o!ld sa/- I !sed to lie her- *!t that $as *e%ore she t!rned into El 5h!no. &o$ I"0 not

o s!re. I don"t e4en no$ i% I"0 going to dance $ith her at the Gro!nd #og Da/ dance.Then Kara $o!ld sa/- B!t Peter N i% /o! don"t- $ho $ill,I $ant Dr. Kla%% to reco00end a sensi*le diet- Mo0 $as sa/ing- not one o% those %ad diets that r!ins

o!r health.1ho said an/thing a*o!t a diet, I ased.#o$ do /o! e6'ect to lose $eight $itho!t a diet and e6ercise,I don"t no$.That night a%ter dinner Mo0 cleaned o!t the 'antr/. She got rid o% e4er/ cooie- 'retel and 'otato

hi'. Then she attaced the %reeer- '!lling o!t the %roen caes and do!ghn!ts. Fro0 no$ on- sheaid- it"s carrot and celer/ stics %or snacs.I $atched as Mo0 'aced all the goodies into a sho''ing *ag. 1hat are /o! going to do $ith the0,I"0 taing the0 to A!nt Denise"s ho!se. #o$ard and his %riends can ha4e it all.Don"t /o! care a*o!t his $eight and health,#o$ard is as thin as a %lag'ole- Mo0 said.I"0 going to star4e- I said. I $on"t ha4e eno!gh energ/ le%t to e6ercise.Yo!"ll ha4e 0ore energ/ than /o! do no$- Mo0 told 0e. 1ait and see.That night I stood naed in %ront o% the %!ll length 0irror on the *ac o% the *athroo0 door. It $as

tea0/ %ro0 0/ *ath- *!t I co!ld see eno!gh. M/ *reasts $ere gro$ing or else the/ $ere !st %at. It $asard to tell. Ma/*e i% I lost $eight- I"d lose the0- too. M/ gl!tes $ere 'rett/ disg!sting. 1hen I !0'ed !'

and do$n the/ shoo. The hair do$n there- 0/ '!*ic hair- $as gro$ing thicer. It $as 0!ch darer thanhe hair on 0/ head. M/ legs $eren"t *ad *!t 0/ %eet $ere %!nn/(looing. M/ second toes $ere longerhan 0/ *ig toes.

Ste'hanie Br!ce called- *anging on the *athroo0 door. I"4e got to go.I '!t on 0/ ro*e and o'ened the door. It"s all /o!rs.I can"t *reathe in here- he said- %anning the air. 1h/ do /o! ha4e to stea0 it !' e4er/ night,Stea0 is good %or /o!- I told hi0. It o'ens /o!r 'ores.1here are /o!r 'ores,Yo!"ll %ind o!t $hen /o!"re 0/ age.


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Flings

The 'hone rang !st as $e $ere %inishing dinner the ne6t night. It $as Dad.#o$"s school, he ased 0e.Fine.#o$ are 2achel and Alison,Fine.#o$"s the $eather,

5old $ith a chance o% sno$.1hat"s ne$,&othing.A%ter that there $as a 0in!te o% silence. Pro*a*l/ Dad $as tr/ing to thin o% so0e other !estion %or

0e. 1hen he co!ldn"t he said- 1ell N $h/ don"t /o! '!t Br!ce on,I $as at 0/ des later- doing 0ath ho0e$or and h!00ing along $ith the To' Fort/ songs on 0/

adio- $hen Mo0 ca0e to 0/ roo0. She stood *ehind 0e $ith her hands resting lightl/ on 0/ sho!lders.Did so0ething ha''en *et$een /o! and Dad o4er the holida/s, 1hen I didn"t ans$er Mo0 contin!ed-I co!ldn"t hel' noticing ho$ distant /o! $ere to hi0 on the 'hone.

It has to do $ith Iris- I said. This $as the %irst ti0e I"d said Iris"s na0e at ho0e.Is she the $o0an Dad"s seeing,

Yes. I $asn"t s!re i% /o! ne$.I don"t no$ the details- Mo0 said- *!t I no$ he"s 0et so0eone.Doesn"t it *other /o!, I ased.I g!ess I don"t lie the idea o% *eing re'laced so easil/.I t!rned aro!nd and %aced Mo0. Yo!"re not *eing re'laced Iris is !st a %ling.Mo0 la!ghed.It"s not %!nn/I no$ N and /o!"re 'ro*a*l/ right N it"s !st a %ling.I $as glad Mo0 agreed $ith 0e. I %elt a lot *etter !ntil she said- I i0agine I"ll ha4e 0/ o$n %ling one o%

hese da/s.Yo! I said. 1hen,

I don"t no$.1ill it *e *e%ore or a%ter 0/ *irthda/,Mo0 la!ghed again.I"0 serio!s- I told her. I $ant to no$.Forget it- Ste'h.&o- I"0 not going to %orget it. Is ha4ing a %ling 'art o% a trial se'aration, Is it so0ething e4er/one

oes,I $as !st idding- Mo0 said.B!t I ne$ she $asn"t.


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Tho!ghts

ere0/ Dragon is a4aila*le again B!t the three o% !s can"t *e ha''/ a*o!t it *eca!se Dana is so0isera*le. She ca0e to the *!s sto' the %ollo$ing Monda/ 0orning $ith red and s$ollen e/es. It"s allo4er- she said- holding !' her naed $rist.

1hat ha''ened, 2achel ased.1e $ent to a 'art/ and he 0ade o!t $ith Marcella- that eighth(grade sl!t. Tears s'illed do$n her

hees.

Alison '!t her ar0 aro!nd Dana"s $aist. I"0 reall/ sorr/.I ga4e Dana a tiss!e to *lo$ her nose.I tr!sted hi0- Dana said. I tr!sted hi0 $ith 0/ inner0ost %eelings and he *etra/ed 0e.I %elt a l!0' in 0/ throat. I% this $as lo4e /o! co!ld ha4e itI don"t no$ ho$ I"0 going to %ace hi0 on the *!s this 0orning- Dana said. Do /o! thin I co!ld sit

$ith the three o% /o! N *eca!se 0/ closest %riends don"t ride this *!s and N1e"d *e honored- 2achel said.And $e"ll ne4er s'ea to Jere0/ again I 'ro0ised.1hen the *!s sto''ed $e got on and %o!nd seats together. At the ne6t sto'- $hen Jere0/ got on and

reeted !s in his !s!al $a/- #e/- Mac*eth $e t!rned a$a/ %ro0 hi0.

$as 4er/ glad to see Mrs. 2e0o *ac at her des in ho0eroo0. Mrs. Veller had ne4er %orgi4en 0e %ora/ing the A($ord in class- and I"d %elt !nco0%orta*le aro!nd her all $ee long. A%ter Mrs. 2e0o too

attendance she stood and said- I $ant to than all o% /o! %or /o!r ind tho!ghts and genero!sontri*!tion to the 5ancer Societ/ in 0e0or/ o% 0/ %ather. #e $as a %ine 0an and I"0 going to 0iss hi0er/ 0!ch. She choed !'. B!t he had a long- 'rod!cti4e li%e and that"s $hat co!nts.I %elt another l!0' in 0/ throat. This one $as e4en *igger than the one at the *!s sto'. This one 0ade

0e thin a*o!t 0/ %ather. So0eti0es I %eel g!ilt/ *eca!se I don"t 0iss hi0 that 0!ch- es'eciall/ sincehe holida/s. I thin i% he $o!ld !st sta/ in L.A. e4er/thing $o!ld *e oa/. Ma/*e it $o!ld *e di%%erent i%Mo0 cried all the ti0e or see0ed de'ressed- *!t she doesn"t. I thin it $o!ld *e a lot harder %or !s i% Dad

4ed near*/ and $e had to go 4isit hi0 and Iris.Still- as Mrs. 2e0o told !s a*o!t her %ather- I i0agined all the terri*le things that co!ld ha''en to Dad.

i0agined hi0 crashing into a 4an on the Free$a/- dro$ning in the ocean- ha4ing a heart attac at $or.co!ldn"t stand the idea o% an/thing ha''ening to hi0- es'eciall/ i% he didn"t no$ I still lo4e hi0.As soon as I got to 0ath class I o'ened 0/ note*oo and started a letter.

Dear Dad-

I $as thining o% /o! this 0orning. And I $as $ondering i% /o! thin I don"t lo4e /o!an/0ore, In case /o! don"t no$- I still do. B!t so0eti0es I get reall/ 0ad and I don"t no$ho$ to tell /o!. I got reall/ 0ad a*o!t /o! and Iris *eca!se Br!ce and I tho!ght $e $ereco0ing to L.A. to s'end the holida/s !st $ith /o!. So nat!rall/ $e $ere s!r'rised and

disa''ointed to %ind Iris there. Also- I hate it $hen /o! as 0e so 0an/ !estions o4er the'hone. I es'eciall/ hate it $hen /o! as 0e a*o!t the $eather. Yo! ne4er as Br!ce a*o!tthe $eather. I% /o! $ant to no$ a*o!t the $eather that 0!ch $h/ don"t /o! listen to the


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national $eather re'ort, Another thing is- I $as $ondering ho$ /o! %eel a*o!t 0e N

Alison t!gged at 0/ ar0. Ste'h N he !st called /o! to the *oard.I looed !' and Mr. B!rns $as staring at 0e. I $on"t e4en as $here /o!r 0ind is this 0orning-

Ste'hanie. It"s clear that it"s so0e$here else. B!t i% /o! $o!ldn"t 0ind taing /o!r t!rn at the *oard NI $aled !' to the *lac*oard and stood *et$een Peter Kla%% and E0il/ Giordano. So0eho$ I $as a*le

o sol4e the 'ro*le0 !icl/ and get it right. I $o!ld ha4e to %inish 0/ letter to Dad d!ring English.B!t once a $ee- $hen $e co0e into Mr. Dia0ond"s class- $e ha4e a s'ecial $riting assign0ent. And

oda/ $as the da/. Mr. Dia0ond had 'rinted the to'ic on the *oard3 IUsed To Be N B!t I"0 &otAn/0ore. Mr. Dia0ond ne4er grades these 'a'ers. #e !st $rites co00ents. Also- s'elling and gra00ar

on"t co!nt. 1hat co!nts is o!r ideas and ho$ $e 'resent the0. The %ollo$ing $ee he"ll choose t$o orhree 'a'ers to read o!t lo!d *!t he ne4er tells !s $ho $rote the0. So0eti0es /o! can %ig!re it o!t-ho!gh. #e al$a/s 'ics the *est 'a'ers to read- 'a'ers that 0ae /o! thin.

I sat %or a long ti0e *e%ore I started to $rite. I looed !' at the ceiling %or ins'iration- then o!t the$indo$- *!t all I sa$ $ere the to's o% *are trees. I ni**led on 0/ 'encil. IUsed To Be N B!t I"0 &otAn/0ore. I looed aro!nd the classroo0. Al0ost e4er/one else $as hard at $or.

I tho!ght a*o!t the letter I"d started to Dad d!ring 0ath class. I tho!ght a*o!t ho$ 0/ li%e hashanged. And then an idea ca0e to 0e and I *egan to $rite. I $rote and $rote- %illing !' one sheet o%

'a'er a%ter another. 1hen the *ell rang I looed !' at the cloc and co!ldn"t *elie4e the ti0e had goneo !icl/. I cli''ed 0/ %i4e 'ages together and $rote across the *otto03 Please do not read this alo!d

n class.

At l!nchti0e 2achel *egged 0e to introd!ce her to Ma6. Please- Ste'h N I ha4e to 0eet hi0Oa/ N oa/ N I said. The t$o o% !s got on line right *ehind hi0. #e/- Ma6 I said- ta''ing hi0 on

he *ac. #o$"re /o! doing,#e looed at 0e.Ste'hanie- I said. Fro0 /o!r ho0eroo0 NOh- /eah N he said. Yo!"re El 5h!no- right,I gritted 0/ teeth. Yo! can call 0e either Ste'hanie or Ste'h- *!t that"s itS!re- Ma6 said. It"s nothing to 0e N /o! no$, I"ll call /o! $hate4er /o! $ant.

2achel ga4e 0e a little ic- re0inding 0e to introd!ce her to hi0.Oh- Ma6- I said- I"d lie /o! to 0eet 0/ %riend- 2achel 2o*inson. She"s in ;(898 N that"s the

o0eroo0 right ne6t to o!rs.Yo!"re in se4enth grade, Ma6 ased 2achel.Yes- 2achel said.Yo!"re tall %or se4enth grade- Ma6 said.So are /o!- 2achel told hi0.Ma6 la!ghed. #e so!nded lie a horse.So N 2achel said- e4er/thing"s !' to date in Kansas 5it/ N right,#!h, Ma6 said.&e4er 0ind- 2achel said. It"s !st a song.Yo! no$ a song a*o!t Kansas 5it/, Ma6 ased.Yes N it"s %ro0 a 0!sical called Olaho0a1hoa N Ma6 said- this is going too %ast %or 0e.1e reached the %ood co!nter and Ma6 too %ish caes- 0ashed 'otatoes and 'eas. &othing 0aes the

a%eteria s0ell as *ad as %ish caes. Ma6 '!t 0!stard on his. Aren"t /o! getting an/thing, he ased !s.1e *ring o!r l!nch- I told hi0. B!t $e *!/ o!r 0il.Ma6 %ollo$ed !s to o!r ta*le. Mind i% I oin /o!,Uh N all the seats at this ta*le are taen- 2achel said. 1h/ don"t /o! sit $ith Eric and Peter,The/"re not as 'rett/ as /o!- Ma6 said to 2achel.2achel t!rned '!r'le and too a dee' *reath.

Ma6 leaned o4er and s'oe so%tl/. So0e da/ I"d lie to hear that song a*o!t Kansas 5it/.As soon as he $as gone 2achel said- I"4e got to get so0ething ne$ to $ear to the Gro!nd #og Da/ance.#e see0s to lie /o! %ine !st the $a/ /o! are- I told her.


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#e did see0 to lie 0e- didn"t he,Yes.Yo! thin he reall/ does or $as it !st an act,I don"t thin it $as an act.S!''ose he reall/ does lie 0e,So N /o! $ant hi0 to- don"t /o!,I thin I do *!t N 2achel $atched 0e as I !n'aced 0/ l!nch. A hard*oiled egg and carrot stics,

he ased.Mo0 and I are $atching o!r $eight.

Is it *eca!se the *o/s are calling /o! El 5h!no,It has nothing to do $ith the0


86/190

The 5ele*rit/

Br!ce $on second 'lace in the Kids %or Peace 'oster contest. The re'orters $ho ca0e to o!r ho!se tonter4ie$ hi0 had !estions %or 0e- too. Tell !s- Ste'hanie N ho$ does it %eel to ha4e a *rother $ho"so in4ol4ed in the 'eace 0o4e0ent,I"0 4er/ 'ro!d o% 0/ little *rother- I told the0. I e't stressing little and /o!nger$hen I taled

a*o!t Br!ce. And I didn"t sa/ one $ord a*o!t his night0ares.Yo!r *rother see0s to ha4e a 4er/ s!''orti4e %a0il/. 1o!ld /o! sa/ that"s tr!e,

Oh- /es N de%initel/.#a4e /o!r 'arents enco!raged hi0 in his !est %or 'eace,Let"s '!t it this $a/- I told the0. The/ ha4en"t disco!raged hi0.Then the/"re not acti4ists the0sel4es,Pardon, That"s the $ord 2achel !ses $hen she"s taling to gro$n(!'s and she doesn"t get $hat the/

0ean.Mo0 had *een standing across the li4ing roo0 $ith Br!ce- $ho $as *eing inter4ie$ed */ another

e'orter. &o$ she $aled o4er to 0e and '!t her ar0 aro!nd 0/ sho!lder.Mrs. #irsch N the re'orter said- I $as !st asing Ste'hanie i% /o! or Mr. #irsch are acti4ists in the

'eace 0o4e0ent,1ell- no N Mo0 said- not e6actl/ N altho!gh $e certainl/ *elie4e in it. M/ *!siness taes !' 0ost

o% 0/ ti0e.And /o!r h!s*and,#e"s in 5ali%ornia N also on *!siness.So $hat /o!"re sa/ing is that /o!r ten(/ear(old son did this on his o$n,Yes- that"s right.

1ar Is St!'id Sa/s Ten(Year(Old Poster 1inner- the headline read in the S!nda/ 'a'er. Under that $asa 'ict!re o% Br!ce and a stor/ a*o!t hi0.

Br!ce called Dad to tell hi0 the good ne$s. And Dad called Br!ce t$o 0ore ti0es o4er the $eeend.

The %irst ti0e I ans$ered the 'hone. #e said- Isn"t it great a*o!t /o!r *rotherAnd I said- Yes.I"ll *et the 'hone hasn"t sto''ed ringing.Mo0"s thining o% taing it o%% the hoo.1ish I $ere there to cele*rate $ith /o!.I didn"t res'ond.1ell- let 0e tal to Br!ce.A%ter he called again I ased Br!ce- 1hat"d he $ant this ti0e,Br!ce said- Yo! no$ N 0ore a*o!t *eing 'ro!d o% 0e. And he $anted to re0ind 0e to $ear a tie

and acet to the 1hite #o!se.

On Monda/- at the *!s sto'- Dana said- I sa$ Br!ce"s 'ict!re in the 'a'er /esterda/. #e"s so %a0o!s


87/190

Yeah N he is- I said.Did he lea4e %or 1ashington /et, 2achel ased.#e"s lea4ing at nine- I told her. Mo0 is going $ith hi0. Br!ce and the other 'oster $inners are

0eeting the President this a%ternoon. Then the/"re %l/ing to &e$ Yor and sta/ing o4ernight at a hotel*eca!se to0orro$ 0orning the/"re going to *e on the Toda/sho$. I"0 going to s'end the night at A!ntDenise"s.

#a4e /o! heard a*o!t 0e and Jere0/, Dana ased.&o N $hat, I ased.She shoo her $rist. She $as $earing Jere0/"s I.D. *racelet again.

1hat ha''ened, 2achel ased.#e realied he"d 0ade a terri*le 0istae and he *egged 0e to %orgi4e hi0.That"s so ro0antic- Alison said.I $o!ldn"t ha4e %orgi4en hi0 that easil/- 2achel said.J!st $ait !ntil /o!"re in lo4e Dana said.2achel didn"t tell her that she"s hal%$a/ there.At school e4er/*od/ $as taling a*o!t Br!ce- incl!ding 0/ teachers. Mrs. 2e0o said- 1hat a s'ecial

*rother /o! 0!st ha4e- Ste'hanie.B/ the end o% the da/ I $as sic o% hearing a*o!t Br!ce and ho$ great he is. So $hen Mr. Dia0ond

alled 0e !' to his des a%ter class I %ig!red it $as going to *e 0ore o% the sa0e. Ste'hanie N that'a'er $as a0aing

It $asn"t that great- I told hi0- thining he 0eant the stor/ in the ne$s'a'er.Belie4e 0e- he said- it $as 4er/ s'ecial.It $asn"t !ntil he ta''ed the 'a'er he $as holding that I realied he $asn"t taling a*o!t the

e$s'a'er. #e $as taling a*o!t the 'a'er I"d $ritten in class last $ee. Across the to' in green in head 'rinted- Interesting- re4ealing and straight %ro0 the heartI"4e ased Mrs. Bala*an to see /o! this a%ternoon- Mr. Dia0ond said.1ho"s Mrs. Bala*an,The school co!nselor. She 0ight *e a*le to hel' /o! sort o!t /o!r 'ro*le0s.I don"t ha4e an/ 'ro*le0s.I no$ these things are hard to %ace- Ste'hanie N1hat things,

The inds o% 'ro*le0s /o! $rote a*o!t.&o- I said- /o!"4e got it all $rongSte'hanie N Mr. Dia0ond said- go and see Mrs. Bala*an.

Sit do$n- Ste'hanie- Mrs. Bala*an said.I sat in the chair at the side o% her des. She $as $earing a $hite s$eater $ith a design nitted into it.

On one hand her %ingernails $ere long and 'olished 'in. B!t on the other- three o% her nails $ere 4er/hort and not 'olished at all. There $as a 'ict!re o% a *a*/ on her des.1hen she ca!ght 0e looing at it she t!rned it to$ard 0e and said- This is #ilar/ N she"s a /ear old

o$ *!t she $as onl/ eight 0onths $hen this $as taen.She"s c!te.Mrs. Bala*an s0iled and %liced her long- dar hair o!t o% her $a/. Do /o! ha4e *rothers or sisters,I ha4e one *rother. #e"s ten. Yo! 'ro*a*l/ read a*o!t hi0 in /esterda/"s 'a'er. #e $on second 'lace

n the Kids %or Peace 'oster contest. #e"s going to 0eet the President and *e on the Toda/sho$.2eall/ N Mrs. Bala*an said. And ho$ do /o! %eel a*o!t that,Me, 1ell N I"0 glad %or Br!ce *!t I $o!ldn"t 0ind *eing %a0o!s 0/sel%. I la!ghed. It didn"t so!nd lie

0/ reg!lar la!gh.Mrs. Bala*an lo$ered her 4oice as i% she $ere telling 0e a secret. E4er/thing said in this o%%ice is

trictl/ con%idential- Ste'hanie.Good- I said.

Then $e !st looed at each other %or the longest ti0e. It re0inded 0e o% the staring contests $e"d hadat Girl Sco!t ca0'- $here $hoe4er *lins %irst- loses. Mrs. Bala*an *lined %irst. In Fe*r!ar/ I"0 startingan a%ter school gro!' %or ids $hose 'arents ha4e s'lit !'.


88/190

M/ 'arents ha4en"t s'lit !'.Oh, Mrs. Bala*an st!died the hand $ith the long %ingernails. 1ell- Ste'hanie N $e can tal a*o!t

an/thing that"s on /o!r 0ind N an/thing that"s *othering /o!.&othing"s *othering 0e.I see. She shar'ened t$o /ello$ 'encils. Then she said- I% /o! e4er do $ant to tal I"ll *e here. I"0

on /o!r side. I ho'e /o!"ll re0e0*er that.Oa/.Thans %or sto''ing */. She reached across her des and shoo 0/ hand. I"0 tr/ing to 0eet as

0an/ ne$ st!dents as I can.

There"s a ne$ *o/ in 0/ ho0eroo0- I said. Ma6 1ilson. #e"s 4er/ tall. Ma/*e /o! sho!ld 0eet hi0.Ma6 1ilson N Mrs. Bala*an re'eated- $riting it do$n.

On T!esda/ 0orning A!nt Denise and I $atched the Toda/sho$ together. Br!ce ca0e on right a%terhe eight o"cloc ne$s. A!nt Denise gra**ed 0/ ar0 and held on d!ring the entire inter4ie$- $hichasted %i4e 0in!tes. Br!ce looed lie he $as ha4ing a good ti0e. The other t$o 'oster $inners see0edcared. I $as glad $hen the inter4ie$ $as o4er *eca!se A!nt Denise sto''ed cr/ing and %inall/ let go o%

0/ ar0.I decided I"d send Dad the 'a'er I $rote in Mr. Dia0ond"s class.

I Used To Be An O'ti0ist B!t I"0 &ot An/0oreIt"s not as eas/ to *e an o'ti0ist no$ that I"0 al0ost thirteen *eca!se I no$ a lot 0ore than I !sed to N

Dad is al$a/s asing ho$ I"0 doing in school. This $o!ld 'ro4e that so0e o% 0/ $or is interesting-e4ealing and straight %ro0 the heart.


89/190

Maing Plans

Mo0 *o!ght ne$ earrings. The/"re sha'ed lie *olts o% lightning and the/ s'arle. 1hat do /o! thin,he ased. The earrings dangled %ro0 her ear lo*es to her chin.The/"re di%%erent- I said.I ho'e that"s a co0'li0ent.I didn"t $ant to h!rt Mo0"s %eelings so I didn"t tell her the earrings $ere 0!ch too %lash/. Are /o! going

o $ear the0 to the o%%ice,

&o- Mo0 said- I"0 going to $ear the0 to 5arla"s 'art/ on Sat!rda/ night.I didn"t no$ 5arla"s ha4ing a 'art/.Yes- Mo0 said- and I told her I"d co0e in %or the $eeend to gi4e her a hand.1ho"s co0ing to this 'art/, I ased.5arla"s %riends.1o0en and0en,Yes- Mo0 said- o% co!rse.Married anddi4orced,I reall/ don"t no$. I i0agine there $ill *e so0e o% each.And /o!"re going to $ear those earrings,Yes- Mo0 said- *!t I"0 also going to $ear a dress and shoes and N

This is it- isn"t it, I ased.This is $hat,Yo!"re going to &e$ Yor to ha4e /o!r %ling.Mo0 thre$ *ac her head and la!ghed. The earrings danced aro!nd her %ace.It"s not %!nn/ I said. I hate it $hen I"0 *eing serio!s and Mo0 thins it"s a *ig oe.B!t Mo0 co!ldn"t sto' la!ghing. Finall/- she 0anaged to sa/- Sorr/ N it !st str!c 0e as %!nn/ that

o! sho!ld *e $orried a*o!t 0e ha4ing a %ling. She g!l'ed- holding *ac another la!gh.I"0 not $orried I told her. I ne4er $orr/ I !st don"t lie the idea o% /o! $ith so0e g!/. I"ll 'ro*a*l/

ate hi0 as 0!ch as I hate Iris.I didn"t no$ /o! hate Iris- Mo0 said- !ietl/.1ell- no$ /o! no$. It 0a/ *e %!n %or /o! and Dad to ha4e /o!r %lings *!t it"s not %!n %or Br!ce and

0e.I"0 sorr/- Ste'h N I ee' %orgetting this is hard on /o!.Peo'le $ho are se'arated are s!''osed to *e 0isera*le- I told her.On so0e da/s I a0- Mo0 said- *!t I tr/ to ee' *!s/ and not gi4e in to it.I tho!ght a*o!t ho$ I do the sa0e thing.Loo N Mo0 said- I need to get o!t and *e $ith 'eo'le. That"s all there is to it. She too o%% her ne$

earrings and dro''ed the0 into her e$elr/ *o6. So $o!ld /o! rather s'end the $eeend at A!ntDenise"s or $ith a %riend,

1ith a %riend- I said.As I $as getting read/ %or *ed I decided I"d as Alison i% I co!ld s'end the $eeend at her ho!se.It"s all set- Mo0 said- $hen she ca0e to 0/ roo0 to sa/ goodnight. &ell 2o*inson $o!ld lo4e to

a4e /o! %or the $eeend.B!t Mo0 N I $as going to as Alison.Mo0 shoo her head. I ass!0ed $hen /o! said /o! $anted to sta/ $ith a %riend /o! 0eant 2achel.


90/190

Yo! sho!ld ha4e ased 0e %irst- I told her.I can see that no$- Mo0 said- resc!ing 1ile E. 5o/ote %ro0 the %loor. She set hi0 on 0/ chair. Yo!

on"t 0ind going to 2achel"s- do /o!,It"s not that I 0ind NGood N Mo0 said- *e%ore I"d %inished. Beca!se it $o!ld *e a$$ard to tr/ to e6'lain to &ell no$.

Besides- I"ll %eel 0ore co0%orta*le no$ing /o!"re at the 2o*insons".I ee' telling /o! that Gena Farrell is !st a reg!lar 'erson- I said. Yo! don"t ha4e to *e a%raid o% her.I"0 not the least *it a%raid o% her- Mo0 said. It"s !st that I"4e no$n &ell longer.I ha''en to no$ that Mo0 thins o% Gena Farrell as a %a0o!s T star- not as Alison"s 0other. One

0e- $hen Gena ca0e */ o!r ho!se to 'ic !' Alison- Mo0 taled too %ast and o%%ered Gena a c!' o%ea at least ten ti0es- !ntil %inall/ Gena said- Thans N I"d lo4e a c!'. Alison sa/s that !st *eca!seGena is %a0o!s and *ea!ti%!l 'eo'le don"t treat her the sa0e as the/ $o!ld so0e*od/ else. And that0aes her%eel !nco0%orta*le.

Br!ce !nderstands. #e told 0e he"s sic o% *eing %a0o!s. The other night he said- It $as %!n %or a %e$a/s *!t I ne4er $ant to see another re'orter. I hate their d!0* !estions. And I"0 ne4er entering

another contest. Fro0 no$ on I !st $ant to *e a reg!lar id and 'la/ $ith Da4id a%ter school.B!t i% /o! had it to do o4er again- $o!ld /o! still enter this contest, I ased.Ma/*e- Br!ce said. Beca!se it $asn"t that *ad 0eeting the President and ha4ing cocoa at the 1hite

#o!se.

At the *!s sto' the ne6t 0orning 2achel said- I hear /o!"re co0ing %or the $eeend.Yes- I told her. Mo0 is going to &e$ Yor to hel' her %riend gi4e a 'art/.So $hat do /o! $ant to do, 2achel ased.I don"t no$ N $hate4er /o! $ant to do.I $as 'lanning on rehearsing a ne$ 'iece $ith Stace/ Green *!t I can cancel- 2achel said.Yo! don"t ha4e to cancel- I told her. I can do so0ething else $hile /o!"re rehearsing.2eall/ N /o! $o!ldn"t 0ind, 2achel ased.&o N $hen are /o! going to rehearse,Frida/ night.

1e can go to the 0o4ies- Alison said to 0e. And /o! can slee' o4er at 0/ ho!se.&o- 2achel said. M/ 0other"s looing %or$ard to ha4ing Ste'h sta/ at o!r ho!se.#er0other is looing %or$ard to ha4ing 0e sta/, I tho!ght. I g!ess that 'ro4ed Mrs. 2o*inson hadn"t

isc!ssed 2achel"s $eeend 'lans $ith her- either.And don"t %orget N Alison said- on Sat!rda/ $e"re going sho''ing %or the Gro!nd #og Da/ dance.I $on"t %orget- 2achel said. I"0 going to get so0ething reall/ $ild1hat do /o! 0ean */ $ild, I ased.Yo! no$- 2achel said. 1ildLie Mo0"s earrings- I tho!ght.


91/190

Getting E4en

Dad called. I got /o!r letter and essa/- Ste'h.J!st %orget a*o!t it- I told hi0.I don"t $ant to %orget a*o!t it- Dad said. It too 0e a $hile to digest e4er/thing /o! said *!t no$ I

hin I !nderstand.There"s nothing to !nderstand. I $as in a $eird 0ood that da/ N that"s all.&o N it $as %oolish o% 0e to e6'ect /o! and Br!ce to acce't Iris on s!ch short notice- Dad said.

Yo! 0ean on no notice.I co!ld hear Dad sigh. I sho!ld ha4e told /o! a*o!t her *e%ore /o! ca0e.It doesn"t 0atter- I said. I !nderstand no$ that /o! and Mo0 ha4e to ha4e /o!r %lings.1hat do /o! 0ean,&othing N !st that a%ter this $eeend /o! and Mo0 $ill *e e4en.1hat are /o! taling a*o!t, Dad said. 1hat"s this a*o!t 2o$ena ha4ing a %ling,I co!ld tell %ro0 the change in his 4oice that he didn"t lie the idea at all. So I added- Yo! sho!ld see

he earrings she got %or 5arla"s 'art/. The/"re reall/ $ildP!t Mo0 on the 'hone- Dad said.She"s not here.1here is she,

She dro4e Br!ce o4er to A!nt Denise"s. Uncle 2ichard"s taing hi0 and #o$ard to a hoce/ ga0e.As her to call as soon as she gets *ac- Dad said.She 0ight *e too *!s/ 'acing %or the $eeend- I told hi0.1ell N tell her I called.Oa/.And Ste'h N Dad said- a*o!t /o!r *irthda/ NI $as glad to hear he re0e0*ered.I"0 thining o% %l/ing in %or the $eeend.&o I tho!ght. I don"t $ant hi0 %l/ing in %or the $eeend. Loo ho$ e6cited I had *een a*o!t

Thansgi4ing and then he ca0e ho0e and s'oiled e4er/thing $ith his ne$s a*o!t the se'aration. I don"t$ant an/ *ad ne$s o4er 0/ *irthda/ $eeend So I said- I"0 going to *e reall/ *!s/. 1e"re ha4ing a

ance at school on Frida/ night and on Sat!rda/ Gran Lola and Pa'a Jac are taing 2achel- Alison and0e to a 'la/. And on S!nda/ Mo0"s ha4ing the %a0il/ o4er %or cae. She"s alread/ ordered it N it"s goingo ha4e '!r'le roses N

Ma/*e I sho!ld $ait !ntil s'ring *rea- Dad said.That $o!ld *e *etter.B!t I"0 sending /o!r *irthda/ s!r'rise no$.1hat is it,I% I tell /o! it $on"t *e a s!r'rise.Pro*a*l/ another s$eatshirt- I tho!ght.


92/190

Slee'(o4er

On Frida/ 0orning at the *!s sto' Dana held o!t her ar0 and the *racelet $as gone. This ti0e it"s %orood she told !s.1hat ha''ened, Alison ased.#e sa/s he $ants to *e %ree to go o!t $ith other girls N lie Marcella.Don"t $orr/- 2achel said- it"s 'ro*a*l/ !st se6!al attraction.Please don"t sa/ that Dana started to cr/.

All she 0eans is that Jere0/"s had a lot o% e6'erience- I said- tr/ing to 0ae Dana %eel *etter.#o$ do /o! no$ that, Dana stared at 0e.Beca!se he"s got N I $as going to sa/ hair/ legs *!t 2achel iced 0e.1hat Ste'hanie 0eans- 2achel said- is that so0e *o/s are so interested in se6 the/ %orget a*o!t

e4er/thing else. #e"ll co0e to his senses one o% these da/s.I don"t no$- Dana said- *lo$ing her nose. I"0 4er/ con%!sed. M/ %riends tell 0e he"s tr/ing to 0ae

0e ealo!s. The/ sa/ he"s tr/ing to 'ress!re 0e into going %!rther than I $ant to go.Yo! sho!ld ne4er allo$ /o!rsel% to *e 'ress!red into ha4ing se6- 2achel said- so!nding lie an

e6'ert.That"s right- I added- as i% I ne$ all a*o!t it- too.A*sol!tel/- Alison agreed.

Yo!r generation is !st a0aing Dana told !s. 1hen I $as /o!r age I didn"t no$ an/thing.

That night at the 0o4ie theater I *o!ght a s0all container o% 'o'corn. So did Alison *!t she got hers $ith*!tter and I didn"t. As soon as $e sat do$n I %o!nd o!t that 'o'corn $itho!t *!tter is 4er/ dr/. It stics ino!r throat. I started choing on the %irst 'iece I ate. So I e6c!sed 0/sel% to go *ac to the lo**/ %or arin o% $ater. The 'eo'le in o!r ro$ had to stand to let 0e o!t. A%ter I got a drin I stood on thee%resh0ent line again- this ti0e to ha4e 0/ 'o'corn *!ttered. It"s 'ro*a*l/ not real *!tter an/$a/- I told

0/sel%- re0e0*ering 0/ 'ro0ise to Mo0that I"d $atch $hat I ate o4er the $eeend. It"s 'ro*a*l/ !sto0ething to $et do$n the 'o'corn so /o! can eat it $itho!t choing to death.

1hile I $as $aiting Jere0/ Dragon ca0e into the theater $ith Marcella. She $as $earing the tightesteans I"d e4er seen- t!ced into $hite co$*o/ *oots. And she $as che$ing *!**le g!0. I ho'ed she"d*lo$ a *!**le *ig eno!gh to get st!c in her e/e 0ae!'.

B/ the ti0e 0/ 'o'corn $as *!ttered the lights had gone do$n inside the theater and I had tro!*le'otting Alison. B!t I didn"t ha4e an/ tro!*le s'otting Jere0/ and Marcella. The/ $ere sitting in the lasto$- o4er on the side- and the/ $ere alread/ 0aing o!t. I $ondered $hat Marcella had done $ith her

*!**le g!0. Or did she iss $ith it still in her 0o!th, &o- she $as the t/'e $ho"d stic it !nder her seat.B/ the ti0e I %o!nd Alison the 0o4ie had *eg!n. E4er/one in o!r ro$ had to stand so I co!ld 'ass. As

oon as I $as seated I told Alison a*o!t Jere0/ and Marcella. The $o0an *ehind !s ta''ed 0e on theho!lder and said- Sh!sh N2ight a%ter the o'ening scene Alison $his'ered- I"0 going o!t %or a drin.

I nodded. E4er/one had to stand again- as Alison 0ade her $a/ to the end o% o!r ro$.She $as gone %or at least ten 0in!tes and $hen she ca0e *ac the 0an on her other side said- 1ill

o! girls either !it r!nning aro!nd or %ind /o!rsel4es so0e other seats So the t$o o% !s got !' and


93/190

$ent to loo %or other seats.1e stood at the *ac o% the theater %or a $hile- $atching Jere0/ and Marcella- !ntil the !sher told !s

hat $e either had to %ind seats or lea4e the theater. The onl/ seats $e co!ld %ind $ere in the %irst ro$.1e $ere so close to the screen $e had to strain o!r necs to see. The 0o4ie $asn"t $orth it.

A%ter- $e $ent to the %roen /og!rt 'lace- $here Leon $as going to 'ic !s !' at ten. I ordered a c!' o%'inea''le /og!rt. That"s a*o!t as si0'le as /o! get. Alison had her %a4oritea PeachBerr/ S0oothie.As $e $ere $aiting %or o!r orders Jere0/ and Marcella ca0e in. #e/- Mac*eth N Jere0/ called- eno/he sho$,

I $as reall/ s!r'rised. First o% all I didn"t no$ he"d seen !s in the theater. Second o% all I didn"t no$

$hich sho$ he 0eantthe 0o4ie or the sho$ he and Marcella had '!t on. So I !st looed at hi0 andaid- I"4e seen *etter.#e la!ghed. I"ll *et.Marcella ordered a $a%%le cone $ith 'ecan 'raline /og!rt. She didn"t s'ea to either one o% !s.1hen Leon '!lled !'- t$ent/ 0in!tes later- he ased Alison to r!n *ac inside to *!/ a !art o%

'istachio to go. Gena"s got a cra4ing %or 'istachio- he told 0e- as I got into the *ac seat o% the car.

2achel $as sitting !' in *ed- reading- $hen I got to her ho!se. #er %ace $as co4ered $ith so0e ind o%$hite goo.

1hat is that, I ased.It"s a 0as- 2achel said. It dries !' /o!r sin so /o! $on"t *rea o!t.Yo! slee' $ith it,&o- /o! $ash it o%% a%ter %i%teen 0in!tes. So ho$ $as the 0o4ie,I"4e seen *etter- I told her. B!t Jere0/ and Marcella $ere there N 0aing o!t.Maing o!t in '!*lic is so disg!sting 2achel said.I no$. It $as 4er/ e0*arrassing to ha4e to $atch the0 iss.Yo! act!all/ sa$ the0 iss,Yes- 0ore than once- I told her. So ho$ $as rehearsal $ith Stace/,Fr!strating. 1e tried a reall/ hard 'iece- 2achel said. So ho$ did the/ iss,The !s!al $a/.

French,I $asn"t thatclose- I said.I"ll ne4er 0ae o!t at the 0o4ies %or the $hole to$n to see- 2achel said.Me neither.I% /o! %eel lie reading there"s a reall/ good *oo on 0/ des.I $aled o4er to 2achel"s des. 1hich one, I ased. There $as a $hole stac.It"s called Gone 1ith the 1ind2achel said. Yo!"ll lie it. It"s 4er/ ro0antic.I"0 not into ro0ances the $a/ I $as last /ear- I told her.This isn"t lie so0e teenage ro0ance- she said. This is the real thing.I th!0*ed thro!gh the *oo. It"s 4er/ long.B!t it goes %ast once /o! get into it.

I thin I"ll $ait a $hile to tr/ this one.Oa/- 2achel said- /a$ning. I"ll $ash o%% 0/ 0as N then $e can go to slee'.I got !ndressed $hile 2achel $as in the *athroo0. I% onl/ $e $ere as close as $e !sed to *e- I

ho!ght- I $o!ld tell her a*o!t 0/ 'arents. I $ish I co!ld N I $ish I co!ld tell her andAlison. I hatea4ing to ee' secrets %ro0 0/ *est %riends. I"4e ne4er e't a secret %ro0 2achel *e%ore and !ntil thisear she"s ne4er e't one %ro0 0e. B!t e4er/thing is di%%erent *et$een !s no$. I can"t e6'lain it *!t I caneel it.

I '!lled 0/ nightgo$n o4er 0/ head- then settled into 0/ slee'ing *ag- $hich $as s'read o!t on aoa0 'ad on the r!g. It $o!ld *e eas/ to tell Alison a*o!t 0/ 'arents- I tho!ght. She"d !nderstand-

es'eciall/ since she"s *een thro!gh it hersel%. B!t I co!ld ne4er tell her $itho!t telling 2achel- too.2achel ca0e *ac and got into *ed. &ight- she said- t!rning o!t the light.

2achel NYeah,2e0e0*er $hen $e !sed to 'la/ dress(!' $ith /o!r 'arents" terr/ ro*es N 'retending the/ $ere


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tra'less go$ns N and $e"d st!%% the to's $ith socs and tie the *elts !nderneath NUh h!h.And re0e0*er $hen $e decided to coo dinner %or 0/ 'arents and $e *!rned the *otto0s o% the

'ots,Uh h!h.And that da/ /o!r ne$ 0attress ca0e N I *egan- tr/ing to la!gh. 2e0e0*er ho$ $e !0'ed !' and

o$n on it 'retending it $as a tra0'oline,All o% that $as a long ti0e ago- Ste'h NI no$ N *!t don"t /o! e4er thin a*o!t all the %!n $e !sed to ha4e,

&ot that 0!ch. She rolled o4er in *ed.I *it 0/ li'- scared I 0ight cr/. I tho!ght- 2achel doesn"t $ant to *e 0/ *est %riend an/0ore. She'ro*a*l/ $ants to *e *est %riends $ith Stace/ Green.

B!rt sn!ggled ne6t to 0/ legs. #is '!rring '!t 0e to slee'. In the 0iddle o% the night he and #arr/0!st ha4e changed 'laces *eca!se $hen I $oe !' on Sat!rda/ 0orning #arr/ $as ne6t to 0e and B!rt$as gone.

2achel $as alread/ dressed and sitting at her des.1hat are /o! doing !' so earl/, I ased. It"s Sat!rda/.I lie to get 0/ ho0e$or o!t o% the $a/ on Sat!rda/ 0orning- 2achel said. Then I ha4e the rest o%

he $eeend %ree to eno/ 0/sel%.I rolled o4er thining that I"0 !st the o''osite. I al$a/s let 0/ ho0e$or go !ntil S!nda/ night. 2achel

and I are o''osites in so 0an/ $a/s.B/ the ti0e $e $ent do$n to *rea%ast Mr. and Mrs. 2o*inson $ere getting read/ to lea4e. E4er/

Sat!rda/ 0orning the/ go %or a hie in De4il"s Den. I% there"s sno$ the/ tae their crossco!ntr/ sis. I$ished 0/ 'arents $o!ld %ind so0ething to do together.

Mrs. 2o*inson $as t/ing !' her *oots. It"s good to ha4e /o! here- Ste'h N /o!"4e *een s!ch atranger latel/.1hat did she 0ean */ that, It"s !st that !nior high ee's !s so *!s/- I said.Mr. 2o*inson ind o% 'atted 0/ head. Don"t let /o!rsel% get so *!s/ /o! %orget /o!r %riends.I looed at 2achel *!t she $as slicing a *anana into her cereal.So I"ll 'ic /o! !' at the *an aro!nd %i4e- Mr. 2o*inson said to !s- as he $ra''ed a 'laid scar%

aro!nd his nec.

1e"ll *e there- 2achel said.A%ter *rea%ast 2achel changed the litter in B!rt and #arr/"s *o6- then she cleaned her roo0. She!sted e4er/thing and 4ac!!0ed e4er/$here- incl!ding !nder her *ed. She s'ra/ed 1inde6 on her

0irror and the insides o% her $indo$s. She rearranged all her dresser dra$ers and 0ade s!re her closet$as 'er%ect.

This 0!st *e the cleanest- neatest roo0 in Pal%re/"s Pond- I said- 0a/*e e4en in all o% Fair%ield5o!nt/.

I lie 0/ roo0 to *e clean- 2achel said.Is Stace/ Green lie /o!,1hat do /o! 0ean,Yo! no$ N does she clean her roo0 and ee' her dra$ers and closet the $a/ /o! do,Stace/ is *asicall/ neat and organied- *!t not lie 0e.2achel $as lining !' the 'hotos on her dresser. One o% the0 $as the 'ict!re in the '!r'le leather

ra0e- the one Alison had gi4en to !s %or 5hrist0as. She held it %or a 0in!te *e%ore setting it *ac in its'lace. 1e loo so ha''/ in that 'ict!re- I tho!ght. I% onl/ it co!ld *e that $a/ again. 2achel N I *egan.

1hat,I $anted to as i% she lied 0e an/0ore *!t I co!ldn"t. So I !st shoo 0/ head and said- It"s al0ost

$el4e(thirt/. 1e sho!ld get going. Alison $ill *e $aiting %or !s.


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So0ething 1ild

All the stores in to$n $ere ha4ing 0id($inter sales. I s!ggested that $e go to Enchant0ent %irst *eca!sehe/ don"t ha4e three($a/ 0irrors. I hate three($a/ 0irrors. At Enchant0ent there are no 0irrors in theressing roo0s. I% /o! $ant to see ho$ /o! loo /o! ha4e to co0e o!t onto the %loor. In so0e $a/s

hat"s !st as e0*arrassing *eca!se the sales 'eo'le stand aro!nd sa/ing ho$ great /o! loo e4en $heno! don"t.I lied the %irst o!t%it I trieda dar green sirt and to'- 0ade o% so0ething that %elt lie s$eatshirt

0aterial. The sirt s$irled aro!nd and the to' had a lac/ collar and little ani0als 0arching !' and do$nhe slee4es.This is it I anno!nced- taing a !ic loo at 0/sel% in the %!ll(length 0irror. I"0 all set %or the

ance.B!t- Ste'h N 2achel said- it"s the %irst thing /o!"4e tried. 1ho no$s $hat /o! 0ight see so0e'lace

else,I lie it- I told her- and it"s a good 'rice. I"ll ha4e eno!gh le%t to *!/ shoes.Yo!"re !st tr/ing to a4oid ha4ing to 0ae a decision later- 2achel said.I a0 not Act!all/- I"4e al$a/s *een the t/'e o% sho''er $ho *!/s the %irst thing that loos good and

2achel no$s it. I sa4e a lot o% ti0e and tro!*le that $a/- 'l!s I don"t ha4e to ee' changing 0/ clothesn st!%%/ dressing roo0s.

She"s not going to %ind an/thing 0ore *eco0ing- the dar(haired sales$o0an said to 2achel- as i%2achel $ere 0/ 0other.

And that color $as 0ade %or her- the *londe sales$o0an added- tr/ing to con4ince her.I lo4ed the $a/ the/ $ere disc!ssing 0e as i% I $asn"t there. On 0/ $a/ *ac to the dressing roo0 I

aid- I"0 the one $ho"s going to $ear it and I"0 co0'letel/ satis%ied1hen I ca0e o!t o% the dressing roo0 2achel $as tr/ing on so0e gold nitted thing and the

ales$o0en $ere ra4ing a*o!t it. Alison and I s0iled at each other. I"0 glad /o!"re taing that o!t%it-he said to 0e. It looed great on /o!.2achel tried on e4er/thing in the store *!t co!ldn"t %ind an/thing $ild eno!gh so $e headed do$n the

treet. 1e $ent to three 0ore stores and at each o% the0 2achel ased a sales'erson to hold aside airt or a to' %or her. She e't a list o% $ho $as holding $hat- the $a/ she had the da/ $e"d sho''ed %or

Alison"s roo0.Alison alread/ had her o!t%it %or the Gro!nd #og Da/ dance. All she needed $as a ca0isole and tights

o go !nder the ga!/ *l!e sirt and shirt. She %o!nd the0 at Under'innings. She $as so s!re o% her siehe didn"t e4en *other to tr/ the0 on.A%ter that $e had to 'ee. The stores in to$n $on"t let /o! !se their *athroo0s. The/ clai0 the/"re %or

e0'lo/ees onl/. And the resta!rants also gi4e /o! a hard ti0e !nless /o!"re eating there. L!c/ %or !shere"s a 4er/ nice- clean *athroo0 at Going Places- Mo0"s tra4el agenc/. It"s e4en got le0on scentedoa' and 'rett/ 'a'er to$els to dr/ /o!r hands. I %elt a little %!nn/ *eca!se Mo0 $asn"t there- *!t I ne$o one in the o%%ice $o!ld 0ind.The chi0es rang as I o'ened the door. B!siness looed good. Three clients $ere taling to agents and

$o 0ore $ere $aiting. Mo0 sa/s that d!ring Jan!ar/ and Fe*r!ar/ 'eo'le start drea0ing a*o!t'ending a $ee in a $ar0 and s!nn/ 'lace.1ell N $ell N 5raig said- co0ing %or$ard to greet !s. Loo $hat the $ind *le$ in. I 0issed /o! this

0orning- Ste'hanie. I had to do all the %iling 0/sel%.


96/190

I"0 glad to no$ /o! a''reciate 0/ hard $or.I do N I do N I can hardl/ $ait !ntil /o! co0e *ac ne6t Sat!rda/.I $on"t *e here ne6t Sat!rda/. &e6t $eeend is 0/ *irthda/.I don"t no$ N he said. Yo! tae a lot o% ti0e o%%. I g!ess $hen /o!r 0other o$ns the *!siness /o!

an get a$a/ $ith an/thing.Alison n!dged 0e. She reall/ had to go. I said- Act!all/- $e ca0e to !se the N I don"t no$ $h/ Iad tro!*le sa/ing *athroo0. I sa/ it all the ti0e.2achel %inished the sentence %or 0e. The %acilities- she said to 5raig.As soon as 2achel said that Alison got a %it o% the giggles and once she gets started- %orget it In a

0in!te she had 0e la!ghing- too. E4en 5raig co!ldn"t ee' a straight %ace. B!t 2achel $as anno/ed andn the *athroo0 she said- Are /o! t$o e4er going to act /o!r age,1hen $e le%t Mo0"s o%%ice $e hit %o!r stores in a ro$. At the last one- 5lass Act- $e ran into A0*er

Ac*o!rne and t$o o% her %riends. 1e"re sho''ing %or the dance- A0*er told !s.So are $e- Alison said.A0*er had on the sa0e gold nitted thing 2achel had tried at Enchant0ent and her %riends $ere

oohing and aahing o4er ho$ great she looed. Personall/- I tho!ght she looed as sill/ as 2achel had. I$onder i% Ma6 $ill lie 0e in this, she said- 'osing in %ront o% the 0irror.

Ma6, 2achel said.Yes N he"s the ne$ *o/ in o!r ho0eroo0 and he"s sooo c!te. I 0a/ dance $ith hi0 all night.2achel !st stood there- $ith her 0o!th hal% o'ened.

#a4en"t /o! heard, I said- setting the record straight. Ma6 lies 2achel.A0*er t!rned a$a/ %ro0 the 0irror and %aced 2achel. Is that tr!e,O% co!rse it"s tr!e I said.I"0 asing 2achel- not /o!- A0*er said.2achel 0!0*led so0ething.1hat, A0*er ased.I said it co!ld *e tr!e- 2achel told her.5o!ld *e isn"t the sa0e as de%initel/- one o% A0*er"s %riends said.And the other one said- J!st $ait !ntil he sees /o! in that gold s$eater- A0*er.I don"t steal other 'eo'le"s *o/%riends- A0*er said.#e"s not e6actl/ 0/ *o/%riend- 2achel said.

That $as a reall/ st!'id thing %or 2achel to ad0it. So I had to set the record straight again. #e 0a/ot *e her *o/%riend *!t /o! sho!ld see the0 in the ca%eteria.Alison nodded *!t she didn"t s'ea.Yo! ha4e the sa0e l!nch 'eriod as Ma6, A0*er ased 2achel.Yes- 2achel said- *!t Ma6 is a %ree 'erson. #e can dance $ith an/one he $ants. She gra**ed 0/

lee4e. 1e"4e got to go no$.B!t $e ha4en"t see an/thing here- I said.1e"4e seen eno!gh 2achel s'oe thro!gh clenched teeth. B/e N A0*er called. See /o! in school on Monda/.O!tside- 2achel $aled 4er/ %ast. Alison and I had to h!rr/ to ee' !' $ith her.#o$ co!ld /o! tell her that, 2achel %inall/ ased 0e.Tell her $hat,That Ma6 lies 0e.It"s tr!e- isn"t it,E4en i% it is- /o! had no *!siness *la**ing it to her.I $asn"t a*o!t to let her thin she can ha4e an/ *o/ she $ants- I said.Ma6 is 0/*!siness- not /o!rs5o0e on- 2achel- Alison said- Ste'h didn"t 0ean an/thing N she $as !st tr/ing to hel'.2achel 0arched do$n the street to Ollie"s- a store that"s 0!ch too e6'ensi4e %or !s. 1e ne4er go

here- e4en to *ro$se. B!t 2achel $ent inside and anno!nced to the sales$o0an- I $ant so0ethingeall/ $ild

The sales$o0an $as tall and thin. She $as $earing a s!ede sirt- a deni0 shirt and *oots. She hada*o!t t$ent/ strands o% *eads aro!nd her nec. #er hair $as *right red and %ried aro!nd her %ace. Sheooed e6actl/ the $a/ I i0agine 2achel $ants to loo at the Gro!nd #og Da/ dance. The na0e 'in oner 'ocet said Glor/.


97/190

I g!ess I"0 not !ite s!re $hat /o! 0ean */ $ild- Glor/ said to 2achel. Beca!se $hat"s $ild to /o!0ight not *e $ild to 0e and 4ice 4ersa N i% /o! get 0/ 'oint.

I tho!ght a*o!t Mo0"s earrings and $ondered i% she $as ha4ing a $ild ti0e in &e$ Yor.So are $e taling %or0all/ $ild or in%or0all/ $ild, Glor/ ased.In%or0all/ $ild- 2achel said. It"s %or a school dance.#000 N Glor/ st!died 2achel. 1hat sie eans N 8> long,#o$ did /o! no$ that, 2achel ased.It"s 0/ o*- Glor/ said- $aling across the store to a rac o% 'ants. She %li''ed thro!gh- '!lled o%% a

'air o% $hite 'ants and handed the0 to 2achel. 1hile /o!"re tr/ing these I"ll see $hat $e ha4e in $ild

o's. Do /o! $ant a co4ered or a *are loo,&ot too *are- 2achel said- *!t a little *are $o!ld *e oa/.1e %ollo$ed 2achel into the dressing roo0. Alison sat on the %loor- cross(legged- and I stood in the

orner- tr/ing not to *loc 2achel"s 4ie$ o% hersel% in the three($a/ 0irror. She '!lled on the $hite 'ants-hen t!rned ro!nd and ro!nd- e6a0ining hersel% %ro0 e4er/ angle.

That"s $hen I noticed the la*el. Oh(oh- I said- the/"re designer eans.So, 2achel ased.So N /o!r 0other doesn"t let /o! *!/ designer eans.1hat are /o! N 0/ conscience,I"0 !st re0inding /o!.I don"t need /o! to re0ind 0e

B!t /o!r 0other $ill see the la*el.I% I decide to *!/ the0- 2achel said- $hich I ha4en"t N I"ll c!t o%% the la*el.Yo!"d lie to /o!r o$n 0other,Yo!"re a good one to tal a*o!t l/ing1hat"s that s!''osed to 0ean,Forget it.&o- I don"t $ant to %orget it.2achel s'!n aro!nd. Oa/- %ine N She 'ointed her %inger at 0e. Yo! told !s /o!r 0other $ent to

enice on *!sinessThat"s tr!e.&o- that"s not tr!e.

1hat does she 0ean, Alison ased 0e.B!t 2achel didn"t gi4e 0e a chance to ans$er. I 0ean that Ste'hanie has *een l/ing to !s since the

*eginning o% the school /ear and I"0 getting sic o% itL/ing, Alison said.I ha4en"t *een l/ing 1h/ $as 2achel doing this to 0e,#er 'arents are se'arated- she told Alison. The/"4e *een se'arated since the s!00er. The/"re

'ro*a*l/ going to get a di4orce.&o I said. The/"re not getting di4orced. It"s a trial se'aration N that"s $h/ I didn"t tell /o!Oh- 'lease 2achel"s /ello$ s$eater had cre't hal%$a/ !' her 0iddle. Yo! sa/ /o! $ant to no$

e4er/thing a*o!t /o!r %riends" li4es *!t $hen it co0es to /o!r o$n /o! don"t see an/thing /o! don"t $anto see. Yo!don"t %ace realit/. Yo! li4e in so0e ind o% sic %antas/ $orld

I% an/*od/"s sic aro!nd here it"s /o! I cried. Yo! and /o!r 'er%ect roo0 and /o!r 'er%ect gradesand /o!r 'er%ect %l!te and N

2achel s!ced in her *reath. 1hen are /o! going to gro$ !', she hissed.1hen I %eel lie itSto' it Alison co4ered her ears $ith her hands.This has nothing to do $ith /o!- 2achel /elled at her. So !st sta/ o!t o% it.Don"t tell her $hat to do I sho!ted. Yo! don"t r!le the $orldAlison *egan to cr/.Oh N /o!"re *oth s!ch *a*ies 2achel /elled. It"s i0'ossi*le to *e %riends $ith s!ch insensiti4e-

00at!re *a*ies

And it"s !st as i0'ossi*le to *e %riends $ith so0e*od/ $ho thins she no$s e4er/thing N e4en$hen she doesn"t2achel l!nged and %or a second I tho!ght she $as going to '!nch 0e. So I gra**ed her %irst- */ the

ar0- and I /elled- 1h/ don"t /o! tae /o!r *ig *rain and !st sho4e it


98/190

She shoo %ree o% 0e and sho!ted- And $h/ don"t /o! sta/ ho0e and 'la/ S'it %or the rest o% /o!r li%ee the *ig *a*/ /o! are

Girls Glor/ o'ened the c!rtain to the dressing roo0. This is 4er/ !n*eco0ing *eha4ior. I"ll ha4e toas /o! to lea4e i% N

Yo! don"t ha4e to as 0e- I told her- *eca!se I"0 on 0/ $a/ I stor0ed o!t o% the dressing roo0.I"0 ne4er s'eaing to /o! again 2achel /elled a%ter 0e.That"s the *est ne$s I"4e heard all da/ I /elled *ac.Se4eral c!sto0ers stared at 0e as I ran thro!gh the store and o!t the glass door. Let the0 stare- I

ho!ght. 1ho cares, I had had eno!gh o% 2achel 2o*inson. This 'ro4ed that not onl/ $asn"t she 0/ *est

riend- she $asn"t e4en 0/ %riend.I didn"t realie I"d le%t 0/ acet on the %loor o% the dressing roo0 !ntil Alison ca0e thro!gh the doorarr/ing it. I didn"t e4en no$ I $as cr/ing !ntil she handed 0e a tiss!e. Then I %elt the hot tears on 0/ace and the dri' %ro0 0/ nose %reeing on 0/ !''er li' and chin.

I"0 sorr/ a*o!t /o!r 'arents- Alison said- so%tl/. I had no idea.It"s not /o!r 'ro*le0- I told her.Yes- it is- she said- dra'ing 0/ acet o4er 0/ sho!lders.

At %i4e- Alison and I $ent to the *an $here $e had arranged to 0eet Mr. 2o*inson. I% I had had eno!gh

0one/ I"d ha4e called a ca*. B!t I"d s'ent 0/ last %e$ dollars *!/ing shoes %or the dance.2achel $as alread/ there- $aiting %or her %ather. She $as carr/ing t$o 'acages. I $ondered $hathe"d *o!ght. As soon as she sa$ !s she t!rned a$a/. 1hen her %ather '!lled !' she got into the %ronteat o% the car and Alison and I got into the *ac.1ell- Mr. 2o*inson said- e/eing o!r 'acages. I see /o!"4e had a s!ccess%!l a%ternoon.1hen $e didn"t res'ond he said- I g!ess /o!"re tired o!t. Sho''ing $ill do it to /o! e4er/ ti0e.1hen $e still didn"t ans$er he la!ghed and said- Better /o! than 0e. I"d rather do an/thing than

ho'. A%ter that I thin he got the 0essage and he didn"t sa/ an/thing 0ore.1hen $e got to 2achel"s I $his'ered to Alison- 5an I sta/ at /o!r ho!se tonight,S!re- Alison said.I"ll get 0/ things and *e right o4er.

2achel ran into the ho!se- tore !'stairs and loced hersel% in the *athroo0.I tossed 0/ things into 0/ can4as *ag- %o!nd a sheet o% 'a'er in 2achel"s des dra$er and $rote aote3

Dear Mrs. 2o*inson3

Than /o! %or in4iting 0e to s'end the $eeend. I can"t sta/ o4er tonight %or 4er/ 'ersonalreasons. I ho'e /o! !nderstand. I% /o! don"t- /o! can as 2achel. I $ill *e at Alison"s- i% 0/0other calls.

Sincerel/-Ste'hanie


99/190

Personal St!%%

$o!ld ne4er %orgi4e 2achel %or the horri*le things she said a*o!t 0e. M/ 'arents" se'aration $as noneo% her *!siness. Besides- $hat did she no$ a*o!t ho$ I $as %eeling inside, 1hich 'ro4ed that 2achel2o*inson $as the one $ho $as i00at!re and insensiti4e- not 0e

Mo0 ca0e *ac %ro0 &e$ Yor on S!nda/ a%ternoon *!t I didn"t tell her a*o!t 2achel and 0e !ntil $eat do$n to s!''er. Then- $hile she dished o!t to0ato(rice so!'- I said- 2achel and I had a %ight. 1e"ree4er s'eaing to each other again

Mo0 said- I"0 s!re /o! can 'atch it !' i% /o! tr/.I don"t $ant to tr/.Mo0 co4ered the 'ot o% so!' and *it into a cracer. That"s not lie /o!- Ste'h. A%ter all- /o! and

2achel ha4e *een *est %riends since second grade.1ell- $e"re not an/0oreB!t /o!"4e got so 0!ch in co00on.&o- I said- $e don"t ha4e an/thing in co00on. That"s the 'ro*le0.Yo! shared /o!r childhoods- Mo0 said. Yo!"ll al$a/s ha4e that in co00on.That"s not eno!ghIt"s st!'id to %ight $ith /o!r %riends- Br!ce said- sl!r'ing his so!'.2achel is not0/ %riend.

B!t she $as N *e%ore /o! had the %ight N right,Be%ore $e had the %ight doesn"t co!nt- I told Br!ce.That"s ho$ $ars get started- he said.&o*od/ is taling a*o!t $ar I sho!ted.5al0 do$n- Ste'h N Mo0 said- and eat /o!r so!' *e%ore it gets cold.1hen I got into *ed that night I $ent o4er the %ight in 0/ 0ind again- tr/ing to %ig!re o!t ho$ it had

tarted. B!t all I co!ld re0e0*er $as the 'art a*o!t the designer eans- and the sho!ting- and the tears. Iad tro!*le %alling aslee'. 1hen I %inall/ did- I drea0ed I $as at the Gro!nd #og Da/ dance- naed.

Ba*/ N *a*/N *a*/- 2achel sang- ta!nting 0e. E4er/one else la!ghed and 'ointed. Finall/- Mrs. 2e0oo4ered 0e $ith her coat.1hen Dad called the ne6t night I told hi0 that 2achel and I $ere ne4er s'eaing again.

#e said- Yo! t$o $ill 0ae !' in no ti0e.1e $ill not.1ant to *et, Dad ased.&o.1ell- I do. I"ll *et %i4e dollars that *e%ore /o!r *irthda/ /o! and 2achel are *est %riends again.M/ *irthda/"s this Frida/- so /o!"re de%initel/ going to lose.I"ll tae that chance.Parents al$a/s thin the/ no$ so 0!ch a*o!t their ids $hen reall/- the/ hardl/ no$ a thing.So- Dad said- ho$ $as Mo0"s $eeend in &e$ Yor,1h/ don"t /o! as her /o!rsel%, I thr!st the 'hone at Mo0- $ho $as rela6ing at the itchen ta*le-

i''ing tea and reading the ne$s'a'er.Yes- Ste4e N Mo0 said- taing the 'hone- e4er/one"s %ine.I *egan to 'eel the la*el o%% the ar o% 0a/onnaise that $as still sitting on the co!nter. I% I"0 reall/

are%!l I can so0eti0es 'eel la*els o%% in one 'iece- $hich %eels al0ost as good as 'eeling s!n*!rned


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in.A %ling, Mo0 said into the 'hone. &o- I did not ha4e a %ling in &e$ Yor N not that it $o!ld *e an/

o% /o!r *!siness i% I had.I '!t the 0a/onnaise ar in the re%rigerator and tried to snea o!t o% the itchen *!t I didn"t 0ae it.

Ste'hanie Mo0 called- as she h!ng !' the 'hone. Did /o! tell Dad I $as going to &e$ Yor to ha4e aing,I 0ight ha4e 0entioned so0ething a*o!t that- I said. And */ the $a/ N ho$ $as 5arla"s 'art/,Don"t tr/ to change the s!*ect- Mo0 said and I co!ld tell */ the tone o% her 4oice she $as serio!s.

Yo! had no *!siness disc!ssing 0/ social li%e *ehind 0/ *ac.

Dad $as ealo!s- $asn"t he,This is a 0arriage- not so0e !nior high ro0ance- Mo0 said. 1e"4e got to $or it o!t o!rsel4es.I don"t see $h/ I can"t hel'.Beca!se /o! don"t ha4e the 'o$er to 0ae it t!rn o!t the $a/ /o! $ant N /o!"ll onl/ $ind !'

isa''ointed. Do /o! !nderstand,&o I sho!ted- as I ran o!t o% the itchen and !' the stairs. I% /o! ased 0e- Mo0 and Dad $ere

*eha4ing !st lie Jere0/ and Dana. I sla00ed 0/ *edroo0 door and thre$ 0/sel% on 0/ *ed- on to' o%0/ st!%%ed ani0als. I hated the $a/ 2achel- and no$ Mo0- acc!sed 0e o% *!tting into their social li4es$hen all I $as tr/ing to do $as hel'. I la/ there %or a long ti0e- cr/ing. I $as s!re Mo0 $o!ld co0e to0/ roo0 to a'ologie- *!t she didn"t.

1ord gets aro!nd %ast at school. B/ l!nchti0e on T!esda/ e4er/one ne$ that 2achel and I $eren"t'eaing. On the *!s 2achel sat $ith Dana- as %ar %ro0 Alison and 0e as 'ossi*le. And in the ca%eteriahe sat at Stace/ Green"s ta*le. I sa$ her %ooling aro!nd $ith Ma6- too.Kara Kla%% ased- 1hat"d /o! t$o %ight a*o!t an/$a/,Personal st!%%- I ans$ered.Miri Le4ine said- Do /o! thin /o!"ll 0ae !' soon- or $hat,&e4er- I told her.A0*er Ac*o!rne ca0e !' to 0e in ho0eroo0. I can"t *elie4e that /o! and 2achel aren"t s'eaing. I

0ean- /o! and 2achel ha4e *een %riends %ore4er. I ho'e it didn"t ha4e an/thing to do $ith Ma6 or that

old s$eater I *o!ght %or the dance.Don"t %latter /o!rsel%- I said. It didn"t.A%ter school Alison said- E4er/*od/"s asing i% I"0 on /o!r side or 2achel"s. The/ don"t no$ shealled 0e an insensiti4e- i00at!re *a*/- too. I hate %ightsIt $asn"t 0/ idea to ha4e this %ight- I told her.I no$- Alison said. I $as there N re0e0*er,1e s!eeed hands and I tho!ght ho$ l!c/ I a0 to ha4e Alison %or 0/ *est %riend. Beca!se i% 2achel

ad *een 0/ onl/ *est %riend i0agine ho$ lonel/ I"d %eel no$. As lonel/ as 2achel $o!ld %eel i% she didn"ta4e Stace/ Green.

That night it *egan to sno$ and */ the ti0e I $ent to *ed it $as co0ing do$n hard. I had another *adrea0. This ti0e 2achel and I $ere $aling along a high$a/ *!t there $as no tra%%ic. Then- s!ddenl/- a'eeding car ca0e o!t o% no$here and headed straight %or !s. 1e tried to r!n *!t o!r %eet $o!ldn"t

0o4e. The car s0ashed into 2achel. #er *od/ %le$ !' in the air- sailed across the high$a/ and landed$ith a th!d. I raced to her side *!t it $as too late. 1hen the 'olice ca0e the/ arrested 0e e4en tho!gh I

adn"t done a thing. The 'olice0an $ho handc!%%ed 0e looed e6actl/ lie Bena0in Moore. #e said-Yo! 'lanned the $hole thing- didn"t /o!, I screa0ed- &o &o and $oe !' shaing and co4ered $ith$eat.Br!ce raced into 0/ roo0. 1hat $as that,I had a *ad drea0- I said.

Scar/,Sort o% NA*o!t the *o0*,


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&o.Yo! $ant 0e to sta/ $ith /o!,I"0 oa/ no$.#e $ent to 0/ $indo$ and looed o!t. It"s still sno$ing. I ho'e school is closed to0orro$.Yeah N $e co!ld !se a sno$ da/.I g!ess I"ll go *ac to *ed no$.1hen he got to 0/ door I said- Br!ce NYeah,Thans %or co0ing to 0/ roo0.

That"s oa/- he said. I no$ $hat it"s lie to ha4e *ad drea0s.1hat"s $eird is- Br!ce hasn"t had a night0are since he $on second 'lace in the 'oster contest. Mo0a/s he %eels *etter no$ that he no$s he"s not the onl/ one $ho cares. #e"s e4en *een in4ited to

*eco0e an honorar/ 0e0*er o% t$o national organiations that $or %or 'eace.It $as still sno$ing $hen $e $oe !' on 1ednesda/ 0orning. School $as closed. Br!ce and I

$hoo'ed %or o/- then $ent *ac to slee'.The sno$ sto''ed and the s!n ca0e o!t aro!nd ele4en. Br!ce and his %riend- Da4id- *!ilt a sno$0an

n o!r /ard. I tied a scar% aro!nd his nec and set Dad"s *ro$n %elt hat on his head. Seeing the hat on theno$0an re0inded 0e o% the old da/s- $hen Dad $o!ld 'la/ $ith !s in the sno$. I $onder i% $e"ll e4ero that again.A%ter l!nch Alison and I $ent do$n to the 'ond to sate. 2achel $as there- too- $ith Dana- *!t she !st

a4e 0e a ha!ght/ loo. So I ga4e her one *ac. I learned that $ord %ro0 2achel. It 0eans arrogant-$hich 0eans hoit/(toit/- $hich 0eans thining /o! are great- $hich de%initel/ %its 2achel. 1hile I $asho$ing o%%- sating *ac$ards- I tri''ed and %ell. Alison had to hel' 0e to 0/ %eet. She sat on a log $ith

0e %or a $hile- !ntil the 'ain in 0/ *acside $ent a$a/. A%ter that I st!c to ordinar/ sating and $hen2achel did a series o% %ig!re eights- I didn"t act i0'ressed lie e4er/one else at the 'ond.

Mo0 had gone to the o%%ice %or a %e$ ho!rs that a%ternoon and $hen she got ho0e- aro!nd %i4e- I $asitting in the den ni**ling a *o$l o% carrot stics and reading. I"d decided to tr/ Gone 1ith the 1ind a%ter

all- 'ro4ing that 2achel isn"t the onl/ 'erson in se4enth grade $ho can read gro$n(!' *oos. Mo0hanged into her e6ercise clothes and sho4ed her Jaercise ta'e into the 52. 1hen the leader ca0e

on the screen Mo0 *egan her $ar0!' stretches.I '!t do$n 0/ *oo. I thin I"ll tr/ that toda/- I said- standing *ehind Mo0 and co'/ing her

0o4e0ents.1hen $e got to the n!0*er $here the leader sa/s- Oa/ N no$ I $ant /o! to 0ae *elie4e /o!"re

'!nching so0eone /o! reall/ can"t stand 2e0e0*er N it"s a lot *etter to '!nch the air than so0eoneo! no$- I '!nched as hard as I co!ld. First to the right- then to the le%t. Tae thatN I tho!ght- andhat P!nch N '!nch N '!nch N !ntil Mo0 to!ched 0/ ar0 and said- The n!0*er"s o4er- Ste'h. Yo!an sto' '!nching no$.


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Then let her tell 0e hersel%.

The g/0 looed great. Besides cre'e('a'er strea0ers and *alloons in di%%erent colors- h!ge letters'elling o!t Gro!nd #og Da/ $ere str!ng across one $all. The other $alls $ere co4ered $ith 0!rals o%ro!nd hogs looing %or their shado$s. M/ t$o %a4orite teachers- Mrs. 2e0o and Mr. Dia0ond- $ereha'erones- along $ith the other se4enth grade ho0eroo0 teachers.1hen Alison and I got there Eric Maca!la/- Peter Kla%% and Ma6 1ilson $ere alread/ gathered aro!nd

he re%resh0ent ta*le- st!%%ing their %aces $ith cooies and %r!it '!nch. &o*od/ $as dancing /et.1e $ere there %or at least ten 0in!tes *e%ore 2achel ca0e in $ith Stace/ Green. She $as dressed all

n $hite. I co!ldn"t tell i% her $hite 'ants $ere the designer eans she"d tried at Ollie"s on the da/ o% theght- or not. B!t I no$ $e hadn"t seen her to'- $hich $as 'leated and sha'ed lie a la0' shade. Shead a $hite %lo$er in her hair- too. A gardenia- I thin. I $as too %ar a$a/ to s0ell it. She didn"t loo lie a

'erson $ho $as s!%%ering at all.1e stood aro!nd %or a $hile- girls taling to girls and *o/s taling to *o/s- !ntil A0*er Ac*o!rne

ragged Ma6 1ilson o!t to the 0iddle o% the %loor- to dance. Then Toad ased Alison to dance and soonall the *o/s $ere c!tting in on each other to get their t!rns $ith Alison. All *!t Eric Maca!la/. #e !st$atched. So I $as reall/ shoced $hen he s!ddenl/ gra**ed 0/ hand and said- 5o0e on- El5h!no N let"s dance

M/ na0e is Ste'hanie I re0inded hi0.Yeah N /eah.Eric s!r'rised 0e. #e act!all/ ne$ ho$ to dance. And e4en tho!gh $e didn"t to!ch *eca!se it $asn"t

a slo$ n!0*er- he 0anaged to dance 0e o4er to $here Peter Kla%% $as standing. 1hen $e $ere right inront o% Peter- Eric sho4ed 0e at hi0. 5atch N Eric called to Peter- la!ghing. I al0ost %ell o4er *!t Petera!ght 0e. #e didn"t let go o% 0e right a$a/ either.&e6t- Eric gra**ed 2achel aro!nd the $aist. #e onl/ ca0e !' to her chest *!t he danced her o4er to

Ma6 and A0*er. 1hen he $as right !' close he sho4ed 2achel at Ma6- the $a/ he had sho4ed 0e atPeter. 2achel $ent %l/ing- nearl/ nocing o4er A0*er. Eric resc!ed A0*er and *e%ore she ne$ $hat$as ha''ening he danced her a$a/- lea4ing Ma6 and 2achel together. Then Eric danced A0*er o4er toAlison and sho4ed her at Alison"s 'artner. Finall/- Eric had Alison to hi0sel%.

I can"t *elie4e this I said to Peter- $ho $as standing $ith his hands in his 'ocets.#e 'lanned the $hole thing- Peter said- and it $ored. #e looed at 0e. So N /o! $ant to dance,S!re.Oa/ N there"s !st one 'ro*le0.1hat"s that, I ased.I don"t no$ ho$- he said.I"ll teach /o!. A slo$ song $as 'la/ing. P!t /o!r ar0 aro!nd 0/ $aist- I told hi0.I no$ that 'art- Peter said. The 'art I don"t no$ is $hat to do $ith 0/ %eet.Tr/ this- I said. For$ard- to the side- together N *ac$ard- to the side- together. I ind o% dragged

Peter aro!nd $ith 0e.Peter e't re'eating- For$ard- to the side- together N *ac$ard- to the side- together. And soon he

aid- #e/- $e"re dancing. So0eti0es $e ste''ed on each other"s %eet- *!t so $hat, 1e danced %or si6!0*ers- %ast and slo$- *e%ore Peter said- I dran a lot o% '!nch. I"4e got to go NMe too.Meet /o! *ac here in %i4e 0in!tes or less- he said- '!shing the ti0er on his sto' $atch.I headed %or the girls" roo0 0ainl/ *eca!se 0/ 'ant/hose $ere %alling do$n. Pro*a*l/ I"d *o!ght the

$rong sie. I"d had tro!*le %ig!ring o!t the height and $eight chart 'rinted on the *ac o% the 'acage.T$o other girls $ere in there. One o% the0- E0il/ Giordano- I no$ %ro0 0/ 0ath class. She $as '!ttingon li' gloss. 1e greeted each other- then I $ent into a *ooth.

1hen I '!lled do$n 0/ 'ants I sa$ a reddish(*ro$n stain inside. 1hat"s this, I tho!ght. 5o!ld it *e,&o N 'ro*a*l/ not. B!t i% it"s not- then $hat is it, B/ the ti0e I %l!shed the toilet I ne$ %or s!re *eca!sehere $ere a %e$ dro's o% 0enstr!al *lood in there. I0agine that N 0/ 'eriod on 0/ thirteenth *irthda/ I

ad to thin %ast. E0il/ N I called. Are /o! still o!t there,Yes.5o!ld /o! 'ass 0e so0e 'a'er to$els,


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1hat %or, E0il/ ased.I"4e got 0/ 'eriod- I said- tr/ing it o!t. It so!nded so gro$n(!'Don"t /o! $ant a 'ad,I don"t ha4e an/ 0one/ $ith 0e N do /o!,&o- *!t I co!ld go as so0e*od/.That"s oa/- I said. J!st 'ass 0e the 'a'er to$els.#ere N she said- sho4ing a $hole stac !nder the door.Thans. I st!c hal% a doen o% the0 inside 0/ 'ants *!t the/ %elt hard and ro!gh against 0e. Still-

he/ $ere *etter than nothing. I co!ldn"t $ait to tell Alison $hat had ha''ened B!t $hen I got *ac to the

/0 she $as dancing $ith Eric Maca!la/ and Peter $as $aiting %or 0e at the re%resh0ent ta*le. Iho!ght /o! %ell in- he said- checing his $atch. Yo! $ere gone nine 0in!tes- se4enteen seconds.1e started dancing again *!t I co!ldn"t hel' thining3 S!''ose the 'a'er to$els aren"t eno!gh,

S!''ose it gets on 0/ sirt and Peter sa/s- 1hat"s that N /o!r 'eriod,Yo!"re not doing %or$ard- to the side- together the $a/ /o! $ere *e%ore- Peter said.Oh- sorr/ N #o$ co!ld I concentrate on dancing at a ti0e lie this, I tried to get Alison"s attention. I

*econed to her *!t she tho!ght I $as $a4ing and she $a4ed *ac. She and Eric ne4er sto''edancing. Finall/ I *roe a$a/ %ro0 Peter and said- I !st re0e0*ered N I"4e got to tell Mrs. 2e0oo0ething.&o$,Yes.

Are /o! tr/ing to get rid o% 0e, Peter ased.&o N this has nothing to do $ith /o!.Oa/. #e '!shed the *!tton on his $atch again. Yo!"4e got %i4e 0in!tes N starting no$I $ent o4er to Mrs. 2e0o and ased i% I co!ld tal to her in 'ri4ate. She '!t her ar0 aro!nd 0e. Are

he *o/s gi4ing /o! a hard ti0e, she ased.&o. I $ondered $h/ she tho!ght that. It"s 0/ N Then %or so0e reason I started to la!gh.1hat, Mrs. 2e0o ased.I !st got 0/ 'eriod and I don"t ha4e an/ N I co!ldn"t sto' la!ghing.Is this /o!r %irst ti0e,I nodded *eca!se I $as la!ghing too hard to s'ea.Let"s see $hat $e can do. Mrs. 2e0o $ent to the girls" roo0 $ith 0e- de'osited the right coins in the

0achine on the $all and handed 0e a 'ad. J!st 'eel o%% the *otto0 and stic it to /o!r 'anties- she$his'ered. I"ll $ait here N !st in case.

I tried to sto' la!ghing. I"0 not the t/'e to get giggling %its- lie Alison. I attached the 'ad to 0/ 'ants-'!lled e4er/thing !' again and ca0e o!t o% the *ooth !st as Alison *!rst into the girls" roo0. Are /o!oa/, she ased. Peter said so0ething"s going on.

I"0 %ine- I told her. I !st got 0/ 'eriod.Oh- Ste'h .. Alison h!gged 0e. That"s so e6citing And on /o!r *irthda/- too.It"s /o!r *irthda/, Mrs. 2e0o ased.Yes. I"0 thirteen toda/.Mrs. 2e0o also ga4e 0e a h!g- $hich $as ind o% e0*arrassing. #a''/ Birthda/- Ste'haniePeter and Eric $ere $aiting %or Alison and 0e. That $as t$el4e 0in!tes- %o!r seconds- Peter said. I

$ished he hadn"t gotten a sto' $atch %or 5hrist0as.Mrs. 2e0o $ent to the 0icro'hone and ta''ed it. Attention e4er/one N she said- I $ant to 0ae an

anno!nce0ent. I !st %o!nd o!t so0ething s'ecial a*o!t Ste'hanie #irsch.Oh- no I tho!ght. She"s going to anno!nce 0/ 'eriod to the entire se4enth grade. This $as $orse than

he drea0 I"d had a*o!t the dance- $here I $as naed and Mrs. 2e0o had to co4er 0e $ith her coat. Ielt 0/ %ace t!rn hot. I %elt di/. I"0 going to 'ass o!t- I tho!ght. I reached %or Peter"s ar0 to stead/

0/sel%- $hich he too to 0ean I $anted to hold hands.Mrs. 2e0o *egan to s'ea. Toda/ N&o I called in a $ea 4oice- ho'ing to sto' Mrs. 2e0o. B!t Peter tho!ght no 0eant I didn"t $ant to

old hands and he !icl/ 0o4ed a ste' a$a/ %ro0 0e.

Toda/ is Ste'hanie"s thirteenth *irthda/- Mrs. 2e0o said. Let"s all $ish her a 4er/ ha''/ one. The$hole class *egan to sing and 0/ di/ s'ell 'assed. I glanced o4er at 2achel- $ho $as standing closeo Ma6 1ilson. She $asn"t singing. O!r e/es 0et %or a 0in!te *e%ore she t!rned a$a/. I re0e0*ered 0/'ro0ise- that she and Alison $o!ld *e the %irst to no$ $hen I got 0/ 'eriod. B!t 'ro0ises to so0eone


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$ho isn"t /o!r %riend an/0ore don"t co!nt.D!ring the last hal% ho!r o% the dance 2achel and Ma6 $ere $ra''ed together- *arel/ 0o4ing in ti0e

o the 0!sic. #er head $as *!ried in his nec and his e/es $ere hal%(closed. The/ $ere de%initel/ the0ost intense co!'le at the dance.

1hen the 0!sic ended there $as a dash %or the coat roo0. As soon as $e %o!nd o!r coats Peter and I$ent o!tside. It $as a cold- clear night and Peter 'ointed to$ard the s/. Loo N there"s Orion.

1hen I looed !' he issed 0e. #a''/ Birthda/- Ste'h.I $as so s!r'rised I co!ldn"t thin o% a thing to sa/.I ne4er did that *e%ore- he con%essed.

&either did I.Let"s do it again- he said.Oa/. This ti0e I $as care%!l to ee' 0/ li's closed. I $asn"t taing an/ chances that o!r *races

$o!ld get st!c together. I didn"t get the sa0e ind o% tingles %ro0 issing Peter as I do %ro0 standinglose to Jere0/ Dragon or 'retending that Bena0in Moore is 0/ *o/%riend- *!t issing hi0 %elt $ar0

and %riendl/.Peter le%t as soon as he s'otted his 0other"s car. I stood alone %or a 0in!te- thining a*o!t e4er/thing

hat had ha''ened to 0e tonight.Oh- there /o! are- Alison said. I had the *est ti0e Eric issed 0e goodnight.Peter issed 0e- too.Eric issed 0e t$ice.

Sa0e here.Do /o! thin the/ 'lanned it, Alison ased.Did he tell /o! to loo !' at Orion,Yes- she said.Then the/ 'lanned it.So N $ho cares, $e said at the sa0e ti0e. And then $e la!ghed.

Mo0 co!ldn"t *elie4e I got 0/ 'eriod. She $as 0ore e6cited than I $as. 5o0e on- Mo0 N I said- ita''ens to e4er/ girl sooner or later.

I no$- she said- sitting on 0/ *ed a%ter the dance- *!t it"s 4er/ s'ecial $hen it ha''ens to /o!r o$na!ghter. I"0 so 'ro!d o% /o!- Ste'hJ!st *eca!se I got 0/ 'eriod,&o N !st *eca!se. She $as getting ind o% tear/ and had to sto' to *lo$ her nose. I !st $ish /o!

and 2achel $o!ld 0ae !'. &ell sto''ed */ tonight $hile /o! $ere at the dance. She le%t a 'acage %oro!. I"ll go get it.Mo0 ca0e *ac to 0/ roo0 $ith a *o6 $ra''ed in sil4er 'a'er- tied $ith a '!r'le ri**on. I o'ened the

ard. 1ith lo4e to the *irthda/ girl- %ro0 all the 2o*insons- it said in Mrs. 2o*inson"s hand$riting. Insidehe *o6 $as a long- $hite ictorian nightgo$n- the ind the girl in The &!tcracer$ears. I"4e al$a/s

$anted one. I held it !' %or Mo0 to see.It"s *ea!ti%!l- she said. 1h/ don"t /o! 'hone and than the0.

I"ll $rite a note instead- I said.

called Dad the ne6t 0orning to than hi0 %or 0/ *irthda/ neclace. B!t I %orgot a*o!t the ti0e di%%erenceand I $oe hi0. Sho!ld I call *ac later, I ased.

&o N that"s oa/. #e so!nded grogg/. I ho'ed Iris $asn"t there. 1hat ti0e is it- an/$a/,It"s al0ost ten here so I g!ess it"s al0ost se4en there.#e /a$ned. I $anted to get !' earl/ toda/.I called to than /o! %or the neclace. It"s *ea!ti%!l. I lo4e a0eth/st.I"0 glad. #o$ $as the dance,

It $as great I tho!ght a*o!t telling hi0 I got 0/ 'eriod *!t decided against it. I didn"t $ant hi0*la**ing it to Iris. It $as none o% her *!siness. B/ the $a/ N /o! o$e 0e %i4e dollars.

I do,


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Yes N /o! lost /o!r *et.1hat *et,That 2achel and I $o!ld *e *est %riends again */ 0/ *irthda/.

At ele4en- Alison- Br!ce and I too the train to &e$ Yor. I ased Br!ce to tae 2achel"s 'lace *eca!se it$as too late to in4ite another %riend %ro0 school. And- in a $a/- I $as glad to tae hi0. Br!ce can *e 4er/

ood co0'an/. Also- he 0ade a *ea!ti%!l deco!'age *o6 %or 0/ *irthda/. Mo0 said he"d *een $oringon it secretl/ %or a 0onth.


107/190

Mrs. 2o*inson

The %ollo$ing $ee there $as another sno$stor0 and school $as closed again. I s'ent the a%ternoon atAlison"s and as I $aled ho0e the s!n *egan to set- t!rning the s/ 'in and '!r'le. I *reathed in thelean- %resh s0ell o% the ne$ sno$. It had *een a 'er%ect a%ternoon. I *egan to h!0 a song I"d heard on

Alison"s stereo. As I 'assed 2achel"s ho!se I noticed Mrs. 2o*inson- tr/ing to sho4el her car o!t o% ano$dri%t. I sho!ld ha4e $aled the other $a/ aro!nd the 'ond- I tho!ght. I *ent 0/ head and $aledaster *!t Mrs. 2o*inson sa$ 0e an/$a/.

Ste'h N she called.I looed !' as i% I $as reall/ s!r'rised. Ohhi- Mrs. 2o*inson. I didn"t see /o!.She ca0e to$ard 0e- carr/ing her sno$ sho4el.Yo! need a hand $ith /o!r car, I ased.&o- it"s ho'eless- she said. I"ll ha4e to $ait %or the 'lo$. She ind o% leaned on her sho4el. Thans

or /o!r note. It $as 4er/ s$eet.I reall/ lie the nightgo$n- I told her.2achel said /o! $o!ld.I $ish she hadn"t said 2achel"s na0e. E4er/ ti0e I hear it I get a 'ain in 0/ sto0ach.Ste'hanie N Mrs. 2o*inson *egan- and I ne$ %ro0 the serio!s tone o% her 4oice I didn"t $ant to

ear $hat $as co0ing. 1hat ha''ened *et$een /o! and 2achel,

Yo!"ll ha4e to as her- I said.I ha4e N *!t she $on"t tell 0e.I didn"t no$ $hat to sa/ so I !st stood there- $ishing Mrs. 2o*inson hadn"t seen 0e.S!rel/ /o! t$o can tal it o4er and 0ae 'eace- Mrs. 2o*inson said. I no$ 2achel $ants to *e /o!r

riend. I no$ ho$ i0'ortant /o! are to her.I looed a$a/- to the 2o*insons" ho!se. I tho!ght I sa$ 2achel- $atching !s %ro0 her *edroo0

$indo$.She"s terri*l/ h!rt- Ste'h. Yo! no$ ho$ sensiti4e she is. Yo!no$ ho$ 0!ch she needs /o!.She needs 0e, I said. I0agine 2achel needing an/oneYes- Mrs. 2o*inson said- she needs /o! 4er/ 0!ch. She de'ends on /o!.Did she tell /o! that, I ased.

She doesn"t ha4e to tell 0e. I can see it. Isn"t there an/thing I can do to hel' the t$o o% /o! get *acogether,

I shoo 0/ head.Yo!r 'arents" se'aration 0!st *e 4er/ hard on /o! and I don"t 0ean to 0ae it $orse- Mrs. 2o*inson

aid.I $anted to tell her to sh!t !'- that she had no *!siness disc!ssing 0/ 'arents" se'aration *!t she

$ent right on taling. Taing /o!r anger o!t on 2achel isn"t %air- Ste'h.That"s $hat /o! thin I"0 doing,A0 I $rong, Mrs. 2o*inson ased.Yes- /o!"re $rong I said- choing !'.Then I"0 sorr/. She tried to '!t her ar0 aro!nd 0e *!t I '!lled a$a/ and *egan to r!n. As I got

loser to 0/ ho!se I tri''ed and landed in a sno$dri%t- soaing 0/ eans.


108/190

5an /o! *elie4e Mrs. 2o*inson said that to 0e, I ased Mo0 that night. 5an /o! *elie4e she thins0 taing o!t 0/ anger on 2achel, #a4e /o! e4er heard s!ch a st!'id thing,Ma/*e she"s right- Mo0 said. Ma/*e that is $hat"s ha''ening.Mo0#asn"t this nonsense $ith 2achel gone on long eno!gh, 1h/ don"t /o! a'ologie- Ste'h,Me- a'ologie For $hat, I $ish /o!"d sto' tr/ing to get !s *ac together I sho!ted. This is o!r

'ro*le0- not /o!rs I ran !'stairs and sla00ed 0/ *edroo0 door. M/ 'er%ect a%ternoon had *een!ined

Dad called a %e$ da/s later. I tho!ght /o!"d $ant to no$- he said- as o% Ma/ %irst I"0 co0ing *ac tohe &e$ Yor o%%ice.

1hat, I ased- s$itching the 'hone %ro0 one ear to the other. 1hat did /o! sa/,I"ll *e $oring o!t o% the &e$ Yor o%%ice *eginning the %irst o% Ma/- Dad said- slo$l/- as i% $e didn"t

'ea the sa0e lang!age.Is Iris co0ing $ith /o!,Iris and I aren"t seeing each other an/0ore.This $as ne$s to 0e Since *e%ore or a%ter 0/ *irthda/,Be%ore- Dad said. B!t loo- Ste'h N I don"t $ant /o! to *la0e /o!rsel%.Bla0e 0/sel%, I tho!ght.I no$ that ids al$a/s *la0e the0sel4es %or these things- Dad said.The/ do,It $asn"t /o!r %a!lt- Dad contin!ed. Iris and I %inall/ sat do$n and taled it o4er and $e realied $e

a4e di%%erent 'riorities.So /o! *roe !',Please tr/ not to %eel g!ilt/.Feel g!ilt/,

There $as a lot 0ore to o!r decision than $hat ha''ened at 5hrist0as.Oh N 5hrist0as. So that"s $h/ he tho!ght I"d %eel g!ilt/. M/ head $as %illed $ith !estions. 1here$ill /o! li4e, I ased. 1hat I reall/ 0eant $as- 1ill /o! and Mo0 get *ac together, 1ill /o! co0eho0e, B!t it $as too hard to co0e right o!t and sa/ $hat $as on 0/ 0ind.

I"ll 'ro*a*l/ tae an a'art0ent in the cit/- Dad said- at least in the *eginning.1hat did that 0ean, So /o!"ll *e li4ing in &e$ Yor starting Ma/ %irst,Yes- he said. Li%e o!t here isn"t $hat I e6'ected. And I 0iss /o! and Br!ce 4er/ 0!ch. Once I"0 in

&e$ Yor $e"ll *e a*le to see each other e4er/ $ee.E4er/ $ee, Did that 0ean he $o!ld co0e !' here or Br!ce and I $o!ld go to the cit/, M/ sto0ach

tarted gro$ling *!t I didn"t %eel h!ngr/.1hen I h!ng !' I $ent to see Mo0. Did /o! no$ Dad"s co0ing *ac to the &e$ Yor o%%ice,

Mo0 $as at her co0'!ter. Yes- she said- !ietl/.And his %ling $ith Iris is o4er- too.Yes- she said again.So $hat does it 0ean, I ased.1e don"t no$ /et- Ste'h. 1e"4e still got a lot o% thining to do.B!t /o! 0ight get *ac together N right,Don"t get /o!r ho'es !'.B!t it"s a 'ossi*ilit/- isn"t it,I s!''ose it"s a 'ossi*ilit/ N *!t it"s not liel/.I hate not no$ing $hat"s going to ha''en I sho!ted. I"d al0ost rather no$ /o!"re getting a di4orce.

$ant it to *e settled one $a/ or the other so I can get !sed to the idea- so I can sto' thining a*o!t it.

I"0 not going to lie to /o!- Ste'h- Mo0 said. 1e !st don"t no$ NYo!"re s!''osed to *e gro$n(!'s- I sho!ted at her- so $h/ can"t /o! 0ae !' /o!r 0inds, I ran to

0/ roo0 and sla00ed the door.


109/190

This ti0e Mo0 %ollo$ed 0e. I"0 getting tired o% /o!r 0ood/ o!t*!rsts she sho!ted. Other 'eo'le4e here too- /o! no$. And it"s ti0e /o! sho$ed so0e concern %or their %eelings.

I sho$ a lot o% concern %or Br!ce"s %eelings I sho!ted *ac at her.


110/190

Killer Fl!

n March e4er/one got the %l!. E4er/one *!t Alison and 0e. 2achel had it. Dana had it. Miri Le4ine andPeter Kla%% ha4e it and I thin Eric Maca!la/ is co0ing do$n $ith it *eca!se he co!ghed all da/ toda/and %ell aslee' in ho0eroo0- $ith his head on his des. Mrs. 2e0o sa/s i% $e de4elo' s/0'to0s $eho!ld de%initel/ not co0e to school. I heard her tell Mr. Dia0ond- The/"re dro''ing lie %lies in 0/o0eroo0.I called Peter to see ho$ he $as %eeling.

This %l! is a iller- he said. I co!gh hal% the night.5an"t /o!r 0other gi4e /o! so0ething,She"s $oring on it.1hen are /o! co0ing *ac to school,&ot !ntil I"0 *etter- $hich at this rate 0eans ne6t %all.1ell- cheer !'- I told hi0. Yo!"re not 0issing that 0!ch. #al% the class is a*sent.Yeah N Mo0 sa/s it"s an e'ide0ic.Pro*a*l/ I"ll *e ne6t- I said.Then I"ll call /o!.Deal- I said. The thing I lie *est a*o!t Peter is he"s not !st a *o/- he"s a %riend.1hen Alison called a %e$ nights later- in tears- I %ig!red it $as to tell 0e that she had the %l!- too. B!t

nstead she said- This is an e0ergenc/. #er 4oice !i4ered. I"4e got to see /o! right a$a/.Yo! $ant 0e to co0e o4er, I ased. &e4er 0ind that it $as close to nine on a school night and

o!tside it $as $ind/ and raining. I% Alison needed 0e I $o!ld go. That"s $hat %riends are %or.I"ll co0e to /o!r ho!se- Alison said.Did so0e*od/ die, I ased- thining o% Sadie 1ishni.&o N Alison saidno*od/ died.That"s a relie%.Alison ca0e to the itchen door carr/ing her o4ernight *ag in one hand and Maiie t!ced !nder her

other ar0. This $as the %irst ti0e Alison had *ro!ght Maiie to o!r ho!se. I $ondered $h/ she"d 'iceda rain/ night %or Maiie"s %irst 4isit. And ho$ co0e she $as carr/ing an o4ernight *ag.

Maiie shoo hersel% o%%- then sni%%ed aro!nd the itchen.

Alison too o%% her $et slicer and h!ng it o4er the *ac o% a itchen chair. #er e/es $ere red and'!%%/.

1hat"s $rong, I said.1here"s /o!r 0other,In her roo0. 1h/,1here"s Br!ce,#e"s !'stairs too. 1hat"s going on,1hat I ha4e to sa/ I ha4e to sa/ in 'ri4ate.Oa/ N %ine.5an $e get to /o!r roo0 $itho!t an/one seeing !s,1e can tr/- I said.Alison gra**ed Maiie and held her a$s together so she co!ldn"t *ar. 1e cre't !' the stairs slo$l/

and d!ced into 0/ roo0. Then Maiie lea'ed o!t o% Alison"s ar0s and hid !nder the dresser. Alison saton the edge o% 0/ *ed- her hands clas'ed tightl/ in %ront o% her. M/ 0other is 'regnant- she anno!nced.


111/190

&oAnd the/ don"t no$ ho$ it ha''ened.Yo! 0ean it didn"t ha''en in the !s!al $a/,I 0ean- she"s %ort/ /ears old and she"s ne4er *een a*le to get 'regnant and no$- all o% a s!dden- she

s.That"s a0aing I said.It"s 0ore than a0aing.1hat"s she going to do,She"s going to ha4e it. She and Leon thin it"s the greatest ne$s the/"4e e4er heard. It doesn"t *other

he0 that $hen the id is 0/ age Mo0 $ill *e %i%t/(three and Leon $ill *e si6t/(%i4e.I tried to 'ict!re Gena Farrell 'regnant- *!t I co!ldn"t. I co!ldn"t 'ict!re her old either.1hat a*o!t the series, I ased.#o$ can /o! thin o% a T series at a ti0e lie this,I don"t no$. It !st 'o''ed into 0/ head. I lie Gena"s ne$ T series. It"s %!nn/ *!t not sill/. I $atch it

e4er/ T!esda/ night. Ma/*e Leon co!ld gi4e Frann/that"s the na0e o% the character Gena 'la/sa*a*/ on the sho$. That $o!ld *e 4er/ interesting.

Alison $as cr/ing again. Mo0 sa/s she didn"t tell 0e !ntil tonight *eca!se the/ !st got the res!lts o%he a0niocentesis N

1hat"s a0niocentesis, I ased.So0e test the/ do on older $o0en to 0ae s!re the *a*/ is oa/. The/ e4en no$ $hat se6 it is.

1hat,It"s a N She shoo her head. I sat *eside her and '!t 0/ ar0 aro!nd her sho!lder. It"s a *o/- she

nall/ 0anaged to sa/.So /o!"ll ha4e a /o!nger *rother- sa0e as 0e.Yo! don"t get it- do /o!, she cried. This isn"t an/thing lie /o! and Br!ce.Beca!se /o!"ll *e thirteen /ears older,&o N *eca!se it $ill *e their *a*/. Their o$n *a*/. &ot so0e *a*/ Gena ado'ted *eca!se she

o!ldn"t get 'regnant. This *a*/ $ill loo lie the0.I ho'e it loos lie Gena- I said. &ot that there"s an/thing $rong $ith the $a/ Leon loos N *!t

Gena"s a lot N I sto''ed $hen I realied that $asn"t $hat Alison 0eant. She 0eant this *a*/ $on"t *eietna0ese.

The/ $on"t need 0e an/0ore.5o0e on- Alison I ne4er sa$ a id as lo4ed as /o!.Until no$ B!t $ho no$s $hat"s going to ha''en in J!l/,I $anted to tell her a*o!t Dad and ho$ he $as co0ing *ac to the &e$ Yor o%%ice on Ma/ %irst. I

$anted to tell her that I don"t no$ $hat"s going to ha''en either. B!t it didn"t %eel lie the right ti0e to*ring !' 0/ %a0il/ 'ro*le0s.

I"0 going to France to0orro$- Alison said. I"0 going to %ind 0/ *iological 0other.#o$,There are $a/s.I thin /o!"re 0aing a *ig 0istae- I said.1e *oth heard the door*ell ring. Alison r!shed to the $indo$ and looed o!t. It"s the0- she

$his'ered. I"ll hide in the closet.Alison- I $ish /o!"d NSh!sh NShe $as in the closet- $ith Maiie- $hen Mo0 o'ened 0/ door. Is Alison here,Yo! co!ld tell Alison $as tr/ing to ee' Maiie %ro0 *aring */ the 0!%%led so!nds co0ing %ro0 the

loset.Yo!r 'arents are do$nstairs $aiting- Alison- Mo0 said- as i% nothing !n!s!al $as going on.As soon as Mo0 $as gone Alison o'ened the closet door and ca0e o!t $ith Maiie in her ar0s. I!ess I"ll go ho0e no$- she said. #er 4oice so!nded hoarse. I g!ess I"ll $ait !ntil to0orro$ to decide

$hat to do.

Yo! loo ind o% %!nn

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BFF Just as Long as We Are Together