BITING WORDS

The Quotations of

Karl Kraus

1874-1936

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Austrian Karl Kraus (1874-1936) was a

brilliant and admired poet, satirist,

aphorist, polemicist, and rhetorician. A

contemporary of Freud, he was a

relentless critic of psychoanalysis, as

well as many of the foibles of human

nature and the culture in which he

lived. What follows are selected quotes

extracted from the few English

translations of his writings.

If these quotes stimulate you to read

more about and by Karl Kraus, start

with Thomas Szasz’s wonderful book

about him, from which many of these

quotes are taken, “Anti-Freud: Karl

Kraus’s criticism of psychoanalysis

and psychiatry.” Szasz is, himself, a

brilliant American social observer and

critic. Also, you can try to locate a copy

of “Karl Kraus: Half-truths and one-

and-a-half truths: selected

aphorisms,” edited by Harry Zohn.

BITING WORDSThe Quotations of

Karl Kraus

PSYCHOLOGY, PSYCHIATRY,& PSYCHOANALYSIS

Psychoanalysis is like the poor man’sexplanation of wealth. Because he lacksit, the others must have gained it byforce or fraud. Anyway, they merelypossess it; only the psychoanalystunderstands it.

I understand that psychoanalysis is abig hit in the United States. It figures:the Americans love everything theyhaven’t got, especially antiques and thesoul.

God made man out of dust. Theanalyst reduces him to it.

My unconscious knows more about theconsciousness of the psychologist thanhis consciousness knows about myunconscious.

To Freud belongs the credit forabolishing Anarchy and creating aConstitution in the Dream State.Nevertheless, things are just as badthere as they are here.

If you have been robbed, do notcomplain either to the policeman or tothe psychologist: the policeman is notinterested; and the psychologist isinterested only in proving that you arenot the victim but the thief.

Modern psychologists have greatlyenlarged the frontiers orirresponsibility: they needed morespace in this territory.

Psychoanalysis is the disease ofemancipated Jews; the religious onesare satisfied with diabetes.

Psychoanalysis is the occupation oflewd and lascivious rationalists whoattribute everything in the world, exceptwhat they themselves do, to repressedsexuality.

The old science denied the sexuality ofadults. The new one claims that theinfant feels lust during defecation. Theold view was better: it could at least becontradicted by the parties concerned.

The difference between the old and thenew doctrines of mad-doctoring is this:whereas the former blamed the deviant,the latter praises the inferior.

Psychoanalysis is that mental illnessfor which it regards itself as therapy.

Most people are sick. But only thepsychoanalysts regard this as somethingto be proud of.

Psychoanalysts’ children do not farewell. In infancy, the son must admit toexperiencing erotic feelings whiledefecating. Later, he must tell his fatherwhat goes through his mind when, onthe way to school, he sees a horsedefecating. He is lucky indeed if hereaches the age when he can confess todreaming that he raped his mother.

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Psychology is the most powerfulreligion: it turns doubt into bliss. Asweakness engenders not humility butarrogance, this new doctrine enjoysgreat earthly success and lords over allother creeds and cults.

The shrine at which the artist worshipsis now defiled by dirty boots. Theybelong to the psychologist.

Psychopathologists now concernthemselves with poets who arrive fortheir check-up after they are dead. Itserves the poets right. they should haveraised mankind to a level where therecould have been no psychopathologists.

Nerve doctors who pathologize geniusshould have their heads bashed in withthe collected works of the genius. Andthose humanists who decry thevivisection of guinea pigs whileapplauding the subjection of works ofarts to psychologizing deserve the sametreatment.

The [psychoanalytic] verdict ofGoethe’s masturbation leaves one witha profound feeling of emptiness: onerealizes, with a sense of desperation,that even if everyone masturbated, stillno Sorcerer’s Apprentice wouldnecessarily be created.

The ultimate aim of psychoanalysis isto attribute art to mental weakness, andthen trace the weakness back to thepoint where, according to analyticdogma, it originated—namely, thelavatory.

If mankind , with all its repulsivefaults, is an organism, then thepsychoanalyst is its excrement.Psychoanalysis is an occupation in whovery name “psyche” and “anus” areunited.

Despite its deceptive terminology,psychoanalysis is not a science but areligion—the faith of a generationincapable of any other.

I possess the happy combination of agreat talent for psychology with aneven greater talent for seeing through it.

The psychiatrist unfailinglyrecognizes the madman by his excitedbehavior on being incarcerated.

The difference between mad-doctorsand other madmen is roughly the sameas that between convex and concavefolly.

SEXUALITY, LOVE, &MARRIAGEFor man, the female body is animaginary object. Only his mentalimages of it are real and free ofdisappointment.

The wages of chastity: pimples and sexlaws.

If children were forbidden to blowtheir noses, adults would surely blushwhen having a need to do so.

Christianity has enriched the eroticmeal with the appetizer of curiosity, andspoiled it with the dessert of remorse.

Sexuality poorly repressed unsettlessome families; well repressed, itunsettles the whole world.

Nowadays lunatic doctors and otherlaymen talk a steady stream ofnonsense about homosexuality. In thecourse of these events it has becomecustomary to divide homosexuals intotwo classes—those who cannot beanything but homosexuals, and thosewho can. Having made this distinction,those who can’t be anything at all—thatis, our guardians of law and morality—then distribute compassion andcontempt among them. In due time—anywhere from 129 to 175 years fromnow—mankind with probably rise tothe dizzying heights of declaring that“congenital” homosexuals are sick, andwill insist on forgiving them; and that“acquired” homosexuals are sinful, andwill continue to persecute them with thecoercions of criminal law, the contemptof society, and the curse of blackmail.Of course, I leave the methods formaking this distinction to thepsychiatric executioners.

Sex education: the method, justified byappeals to hygiene, by which weprevent young people from satisfyingtheir own curiosities.

Ballerinas have their sexuality in theirlegs, tenors in their larynxes. That iswhy women are mistaken about tenorsand men about ballerinas.

When it comes to sex, the whole worldis utterly stupid: it sees sexual life interms either of a division between thesexes, or of decisions made on moralgrounds. No one is supposed to knowwhat is really good for him! Nectarcomes from witches’ brew, so we arewarned—and whoever dreamt this upshould have been stoned to death. It isas absurd to hold such a view as toassert that just because a substance isrepulsive, it cannot, when mixed withfood, serve as a spice. In fact, man’simagination is the spice of his eroticlife.

The most tragic fate in the wholeworld must be that of the fetishist whogoes after only a woman’s shoe, butgets the whole woman.

Perversion may be regarded either as acondition or as a capability. Society ismore eager to accept it as a conditionthan to respect it as a capability. On itspath to progress, society gets just sofar—and then again prefers birth tomerit, social status to personalachievement.

The woman who is ceaselesslysensuous and the man who isceaselessly search: two ideal typeswhich many people regard as two typesof insanity.

Since the law prohibits the keeping ofwild animals and I get no enjoymentfrom pets, I prefer to remain unmarried.

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Intercourse with a woman issometimes a satisfactory substitute formasturbation. But it takes a lot ofimagination to make it work.

A man who boasts about initiating awoman into the mysteries of live is likea stranger who, arriving at the railroadstation, offers to show the tourist guidethe sights of the city.

Insights into erotic life belong to art,not to education. But sometimes theseinsights have to be spelled out for theilliterates. And it is mainly a matter ofconvincing the illiterates, for they arethe ones who write the penal code.

It is high time for children to enlightentheir parents about the secrets of sex.

What are all the orgies of Bacchuswhen compared to the intoxication ofsomeone who completely surrenders tocontinence!

He who lives without inhibition is apig. He who overcomes it is an artist.

SOCIETY, POLITICS & LAWDemocracy: the opportunity to beeveryone’s slave.

Penalties serve to deter those who arenot inclined to commit any crimes.

Scandal begins when the police put astop to it.

Social reform is the desperate decisionto remove corns from a personsuffering from cancer.

I have done nothing more than showthat there is a distinction between anurn and a chamber pot and that it is thisdistinction above all that providesculture with elbow room. The others,those who fail to make this distinction,are divided into those who use the urnas a chamber pot and those who use thechamber pot as an urn.

War : first one hopes to win; then oneexpects the enemy to lost; then, one issatisfied that he too is suffering; in theend, one is surprised that everyone haslost.

When there were no such things ashuman rights, the exceptionalindividual had them. It was calledaristocracy, and was considered to beinhuman. So democracy was created.How? By taking human rights awayfrom the exceptional individual, thusmaking everyone equal.

The world is a prison. That’s whysolitary confinement is the best place init.

JOURNALISMPeople don’t understand German. But Iwill not write for them in journalese.

Journalism only seems to be servingthe present. In reality it destroys theintellectual receptivity of posterity.

There is a shortage of clerks. Everyoneis going into journalism.

Journalists write because they havenothing to say, and claim to havesomething to say because they write.

The prostitute resembles the journalistin that neither is expected to experienceany feeling; but she differs from him inbeing able to experience feelings.

The press stands in approximately thesame relation to life as reading tealeaves stands to metaphysics.

WOMEN & MENMany women would like to dreamwith men without sleeping with them.Someone should point out to them thatthis is utterly impossible.

Jealousy is a dog’s bark which attractsthieves.

An acquaintance of mine told me thatreading one of my essays aloud gainedhim a wife. I count this among mygreatest successes. How easily I wouldhave been in this unfortunate situationmyself.

A man’s jealousy is a socialinstitution; a woman’s prostitution is aninstinct.

Matrimony : the union of meannessand martyrdom.

The immorality of men triumphs overthe amorality of women.

Cosmetics: the science of a woman’scosmos.

A woman who cannot be ugly is notbeautiful.

She lacked only a flaw to be perfect.

As long as there is a women’s rightsmovement, men should at least regardthemselves as duty-bound todiscontinue chivalry. Nowadays onecan’t even take a chance and offer awoman a seat on a streetcar, for one cannever be sure that one won’t beinsulting her and abridging her right toan equal share of the inconveniences oflife. On the other hand, one ought to getinto the habit of being chivalrous andaccommodating toward the feminists inevery way.

EDUCATIONSchools without grades must be thebrainchild of someone drunk onrootbeer.

Education is a crutch with which thefoolish attach the wise to prove thatthey are not idiots.

ART & LITERATUREScience is spectral analysis. Art is lightsynthesis.

A plagiarist should be made to copythe author a hundred times.

To have talent, to be a talent: the twoare always confused.

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Artists have a right to be modest and aduty to be vain.

Today’s literature : prescriptionswritten by patients.

The agitator seizes the word. The artistis seized by it.

Sentimental irony is a dog that bays atthe moon while pissing on graves.

Satires which the censor understandsare rightly prohibited.

ET CETERAIt is not well known just how famous Iam.

Medicine: “Your money and your life!”

The devil is an optimist if he thinks hecan make people worse than they are.

Many share my views with me. But Idon’t share them with them.

When I want to go to sleep, I must firstget a whole menagerie of voices to shutup. You wouldn’t believe what a racketthey make in my room.

I’d like to apply for a permit to run ahand-operated guillotine. but oh, thatincome tax!

I and my public understand each otherwell: it does not hear what I say, and Idon’t say what it wants to hear.

If someone calls me vain and mean, Iknow that he trusts me and hassomething to confess to me.

I trim my opponents to fit my arrows.

Many desire to kill me, and many wishto spend an hour chatting with me. Thelaw protects me from the former.

He who gladly does without the praiseof the crowd will not miss theopportunity of becoming his own fan.

Curses on the law! Most of my fellowmen are the sad consequences ofneglected abortions.

To be sure, the dog is loyal. But why,on that account, should we take him asan example? He is loyal to men, not toother dogs.

The bigger the bull, the bigger the bullmarket.

Life is an effort which deserves a bettercause.