Buddha has said this beautifully, "All that we are is the result of what we have thought".

100 Beliefs

At first, make the list without any filters. It is better to know what you face and change it than to pretend you are not thinking like that.

If you need to talk about it, find someone who is willing to join in with you and make a list of their beliefs too. Everything you say is just a belief anyway.

Do not be judgmental towards yourself when you come up with beliefs you are not happy to have. You have a choice to change it any time. Always focus on moving forward.

Beliefs about kids can come from many different sources. Sometimes, thinking about the sources can trigger more thoughts. For example, our own parents are a big source of many of our beliefs. Other sources of beliefs are teachers, school, family members, past experiences, friends, the culture we live in, the groups we feel part of, the media and, as funny as this may seem, some beliefs are created in our own imagination and it is hard to pin point their exact source.

When you are done, leave your list for a while before examining each belief to see if it is limiting or empowering. Sometime, a negative belief can give you lots of power, so do not automatically eliminate "negative" beliefs or accept "positive" ones. For example, "Drugs are bad" is a negative belief about drugs, but it can empower you to focus on a healthy, responsible lifestyle for your kids. Similarly, the belief "Hitting my kids is bad" may cause you to focus on other parenting methods and eventually build a stronger relationship with your kids.

What age to have them, how hard it is, sleep and babies, money and babies, career and babies, babies and health, immunize or not, putting sugar in their drinking water, pacifier or not, breastfeeding or formula, how often, how long, let them sleep in your bed or not?

What do you think about boys and girls, what would you rather have and why? What do you think about boys and girls’ color of clothes? Which toys are suitable for boys, which one for girls? What do you think about girls doing sports wearing shorts or miniskirts? What do you think about boys cooking, shaving or having an earring? What do you think about girls going on a diet or being overweight? What about academic achievements and expectations for the future, is it different for boys and girls?

How many of them you want for your kids, where from, what kind, what do you think about trusting friends, at which age, what do you think about sleeping over, about parties and friends and ruining your house and your budget, name 3 kinds of friends you do not want for your kids and why, what age they can have a boyfriend or a girlfriend, what you think about friends and their influence on your kids.

What do you think about the importance of school? Why? Which teachers do you like/not like (try not to name names, but stick to generalizations)? What do you think about homework, exams and grade, report cards, awards, studying on the weekend, what subjects are more important, sport, respect, uniform and how schools should handle behavior management. What do you wish school would do differently? Private or public school, tutoring, leaving school early, working and studying during high school, giving kids rewards for good grades, participating in school functions, joining the school council or the parents' association, home schooling, skills learned or not learned at school.

What do you think about siblings, about the right age difference between them, problems due of age difference, sibling rivalry, jealousy, comparing kids, motivating kids to be like their siblings, sharing rooms, privacy and siblings, sharing clothes and sharing toys. When your kids fight, should you interfere or not? When? What is your philosophy about responsibilities for younger and older siblings?

What do you think your kids should see on TV? Why? At what age? Why? When should you start buying them magazines? Which ones? How do you treat the rating of the movies they watch? Do you watch with your kids? Until what age? What do you think of adult themes or horror movies and kids? What is the best way to monitor watching too much TV? How much is too much?

How to keep kids healthy? What is a healthy kid? What do you think of junk food, doctors and medication for kids? What to do when your kids are sick? School and sickness? Vitamins? Natural medicine?

What do you think is good behavior management? Punishment rules? Behavior problems? Which parent is best to do it, at what age, what is suitable for boys and what for girls? What do you think about money and punishment, rewards and behavior or threats that work and those that do not?

If you answer most of the questions here, you should already have 100 beliefs, but keep going as far as you can.

When you are done, go over your beliefs and ask, "If I believe in this, will it make me a better parent?" If the answer is "No" for any belief, change it.

What did you like to play as a kid? Do you remember anything you didn’t like to play but

were encouraged to? Should kids get to avoid certain kinds of play (sports,

games, ‘imagination’, art) if they don’t like it or should they be encouraged to continue / learn?

Is it more valuable to play with others, or by yourself or are they equally valuable? Why?

Pick an age: 2, 4 or 6. If you were told to go play with a kid of one of these ages for an afternoon, which one would you choose and why? What would you play?

Do you think it is necessary for the province (and the country) to “protect” play (as they are doing)? So, do you feel that parents and school are not allowing kids enough time to “just play”? Explain your answer.

What would happen if there were no tv? Would this be good or bad for kids?

Is it good to have rules for kids? What kinds?

What are some common fears for kids? List some important role models for kids. Is there anything schools should not be

discussing with kids and / or teaching kids? Why do children bully? Is it natural or do

they learn it? If so, from whom? What stresses kids out? How can adults

help keep them stress free?

Do you think that birth order (if you are the first, second, third child in the family) affects children and their development?

Are chores good or bad for kids? What values do you think are important

for kids to have? Should kids sleep in their own room? Is music important for kids? List some things that made you happy as

a child and that you hope for other kids

Should kids earn an allowance for doing “chores” or should this just be part of their responsibility?

How old should a child be when he or she gets a cell phone?