Building my Skills asan Emotionally Intelligent

Clinician

Dennis Ondrejka, Ph.D., RN, COHN-S/CM

Associate Professor, Denver School of Nursing

Goalquestinc@Comcast.net

Objectives

Provide an overview of the five EI domains and how they show up in one’s life

Address the barriers to becoming more EI in life and at work

Building additional skills in each domain of EI

Subjectives

Develop a sense of personal awareness that lives in the paradox of being more EI

Create internal values structures that will start to include EI in my practice

Have an increasing belief about the value of EI for my patients, myself, and my family

Domains of Emotional Intelligence

Empathy Self-awareness Self-regulation Motivation Social Skills

Reminder- Why EI is Important Rigidity and Poor

Relationship building is the key executive failure

Trained incapacity Need Intuition to be expert IQ accounts for 4% of real

world success Physiological issues It accounts for highly

successful leaders It is the balance for all

clinicians

Reminder- Barriers to Integrating EI

Old Habits persist We live in Fear Low Levels of self-love Physiological barriers No integration of our

SHADOW self Never reaching the

valuing level of understand of EI

Old Habits persist

Sensory Input limitations– We receive 2,000,000 sensory inputs / second– We understand 10,000 /second

We use a Reticular Activation system to control input

This creates habits to save us time We use habitual behavior to save time RESULT-Less connection, less empathy,

less self-awareness, less EI

We live in Fear:A Hidden Motivation

How are we motivated to do many things we don’t want to do?

How are we choosing our life to be? How do we see others making choices? Is Fear the unconscious disease on our earth? Is Fear the cause of wars? Is Fear the cause of most conflict?

Low Levels of self-love:Motivation to Self-Protect

Many people develop with a painful story, or an imprinting of being wounded

Studies are report 50% of women being sexually abused in childhood

New estimates are starting to put 30% of men into the same risk group

Divorce is reaching 63% nationally We have over 3 Million children being raised by

their grandparents RESULT- less connection, less empathy, less

self awareness, less social skills, more safety, more protection

Physiological barriers:We are Habitually Unconscious

Physiological differences between men and women

Amygdale breaks, chemical losses Brain research on synapses building our addicted

paths, eliminating unused paths Perception is complicated—Reality making is

even more complicated RESULT- low level of self-awareness, normally

blind to others perspective reducing empathy, motivation is from our shadow side.

No integration of our SHADOW selfMinimal Self-Awareness

Theories on what part of our brains we use– Iceberg theory

Quantum mechanics and consciousness Shadow Psychology and Theory Integration is the key, not rejection!!!! Un-integrated shadow causes very serious

problems for people RESULT- inauthentic people, resistance to EI

because of fear, hiding our gold, lack of performance in our lives

Never reaching the valuing level of understand of Emotional Intelligence Research shows we will not change our

behavior if we cannot integrate things—no matter how valuable—if we do not deeply value it.

Our patients lose and we lose Brainstorm where you can chip away at our

blocks, and barriers