By Katherine A. Weir

The objectives of the 5-Word Editing Rule are to:1. Teach the writer how to recognize wordiness.2. Show the writer how to critique and justify the

use of every word in writing. Every word should have a purpose.

3. Give the writer confidence, because when a writer recognizes the value of every word they use, then they feel self-assured in their writing ability.

You are about to be provided with 5 different sentences.

Your task is to eliminate 5 words in each sentence, providing justification for why the word or words are not necessary.

You must retain the meaning of the sentence.

Beware of:1. Who your intended audience is.2. The genre the sentence is being written in.3. That different opinions will occur between your

peers, as to why or why not, it is or is not okay to remove or leave in a word. This is where you as the writer have to make the final decision.

The feisty four-year-old boy struggled unsuccessfully for two hours to ride his new light blue birthday bike.

Looking closely at this sentence, which 5 words can you edit out?

The feisty four-year-old struggled unsuccessfully for two hours to ride his new light blue birthday bike.

First, “boy” can removed from the sentence.Why? Because “his” denotes that it is a boy.

The feisty four-year-old struggled for two hours to ride his new light blue birthday bike.

Second, “unsuccessfully” can removed from the sentence.Why? Because if the boy is “struggling” then he still has not

achieved success, therefore he is “unsuccessful.”

The feisty four-year-old struggled for two hours to ride his light blue birthday bike.

Third, “new” can removed from the sentence.Why? Because whether the bike is brand new or used, as a

birthday gift, the bike is “new” to the boy.

The feisty four-year-old struggled for two hours to ride his birthday bike.

Finally, “light blue” can removed from the sentence.Why? Because it might not be relevant to know the colour,

“light blue,” of the bike. But this is subjective, depending on author, genre, audience, and writing style.

http://mommydaddyblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/man-scratching-head.jpg

When making a persuasive request in writing, take extra special care to highlight both the direct and indirect benefits of fulfilling the required request.

Looking closely at this sentence, which 5 words can you edit out?

When making a persuasive request in writing, take extra special care to highlight the direct and indirect benefits of fulfilling the required request.

First, “both” can removed from the sentence.Why? Because “both” of the items referred to follow. You do

not need to say “both,” because they are “both” there.

When making a persuasive request in writing, take extra care to highlight the direct and indirect benefits of fulfilling the required request.

Second, “special” can removed from the sentence.Why? Because if you are taking “extra” care, then you are

taking “special” care also. You can also reverse the logic and remove “extra” and keep “special.”

When making a persuasive request in writing, take extra care to highlight the direct and indirect benefits of fulfilling the required request.

Finally, the following few are tricky ones, as their fate is determined by the audience, the audience’s prior knowledge,

and the format of message use.

When making a persuasive request, take extra care to highlight the direct and indirect benefits of fulfilling the required request.

“in writing” can be removed, if the audience knows the message format you are discussing.

When making a persuasive request, take extra care to highlight the direct and indirect benefits of the required request.

“fulfilling” can be removed, depending on the purpose of the message.

When making a persuasive, take extra care to highlight the direct and indirect benefits of the request.

“required” can be removed when considering the importance of the request. Ask yourself if all requests are automatically

“required.” If so, then this is understood and unnecessary.

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Nff6Uts_z2U/SN3_jqkxMpI/AAAAAAAAACg/sLTiYIflucc/s320/confused+monkey.bmp

To make personal identification both easy and accurate, each employee will be issued a photo ID badge that must be worn, on their shirts and tops, at all times while in the company building.

Looking closely at this sentence, which 5 words can you edit out?

To make personal identification easy and accurate, each employee will be issued a photo ID badge that must be worn, on their shirts and tops, at all times while in the company building.

First, “both” can removed from the sentence.Why? Because, as with the previous example, you do not need

“both” when the two words “both” refers to follow.

To make personal identification easy and accurate, each employee will be issued a photo ID badge that must be worn, on their shirts and tops, at all times while in the building.

Second, “company” can removed from the sentence.Why? Because, one would hope only employees working for the “company” would be the ones wearing the badges; the chances of an employee wearing their “Dan’s Doggie Scooping Service”

badge outside of the company building is slim.

To make identification easy and accurate, each employee will be issued a photo ID badge that must be worn, on their shirts and tops, at all times while in the building.

Third, “personal” can be removed from the sentence.Why? Because, if one is wearing a company badge, and it is about

identifying the person wearing it, then it is assumed the identification is of that “person.”

To make identification easy and accurate, each employee will be issued a photo ID must be worn, on their shirts and tops, at all times while in the building.

As well, “badge” can be removed from the sentence.Why? Because, one can assume that if you are wearing photo ID, then logically your identification, other than a silk screened

individual company logo t-shirt, is in the “badge” format.

To make personal identification easy and accurate, each employee will be issued a photo ID that must be worn at all times while in the building.

Five and beyond, “, on their shirts and tops,” can be removed from the sentence.

Why? Because, where else would you wear it. Most people are not comfortable looking down at another’s pants, others might not see it on your shoes, and then again not all jobs wear hats, so

the logical place is on a “shirt or top.”

http://thumbs.dreamstime.com/thumb_448/125658263469H8bM.jpg

The recording system that most of the students use is taking lots of notes on three-by-five inch index cards.

Looking closely at this sentence, which 5 words can you edit out?

The recording system most of the students use is taking lots of notes on three-by-five inch index cards.

First, “that” should be a no brainer.Why? Because “that” is the most overused word in the English

language. It is not necessary; it just adds to the wordiness.

The recording system most students use is taking notes on three-by-five inch index cards.

Second & Third, “of the” can easily be removed.Why? Because “most” students says exactly the same thing as

“most of the” students, only with less words.

The recording system most students use is taking notes on three-by-five inch index cards.

Fourth & Fifth, “lots of” can easily be removed.Why? Because ask yourself if “lots of” is really necessary? Does

it matter if it is “lots of” or just taking “notes”?

The recording system most students use is taking notes on index cards.

A tricky one again, “three-by-five inch” can easily be removed.

Why? Because unless you need to be specific about the size of the index cards, then is “three-by-five inch” relevant? In

addition, if you need to be specific then leave in the size, but remove “index,” because “three-by-five inch” identifies the type

of cards.

http://fotosa.ru/stock_photo/Rubberball_JI/p_1728331.jpg

The measures that are required to achieve these savings are liked to be unpopular with all employees.

Looking closely at this sentence, which 5 words can you edit out?

The measures required to achieve these savings are liked to be unpopular with all employees.

First & Second, a no brainer, remove “that are.”Why? Because “that” is the most overused word in the English

language, and if you remove “that,” then “are” must go for the sense of it all.

The measures required to achieve these savings are unpopular with all employees.

And finally, remove “like to be.”Why? Because “liked to be” is filler, and that’s that.

Did you get the humour in the last slide?

And for the big finish … How do you know when you have used KW’s 5-Word Editing Rule too much?

http://i446.photobucket.com/albums/qq181/laura1333/laughing-cat.jpg