CAES9820 Week 5 L2 Organisation Structure PSA

Centre for Applied English Studies, The University of Hong Kong

Week Five Lesson 2

Learning Outcomes

By the end of this lesson, you should be able to:

use common writing techniques from popular science writing to make your journal article read more smoothly

understand how popular science articles are structured understand and apply key features of cohesion and coherence

Task 1: Revision of organization & structuring in writing

1. How do you make a piece of writing well-organized and read smoothly? Think of what you

were taught in CUE and other writing courses.

2. Look at the table on the next page. This table outlines the main structural and

organizational features of an essay, a report and an academic journal article.

Now think about the PSAs you have looked at in the New Scientist class sets on this course.

What do you think will be the main differences between the PSA you will write for this CAES9820 course and the essay and report you were taught to write in CUE in

terms of organization and structure? Will there be any similarities?

CAES9820 Academic English for Science Students Week 5 Lesson 2 Page 1


Type of text Whole text level Paragraph level & between paragraphs

Sentence level & between sentences

Academic Report

y Introduction section with background, clear stance / main findings and outline y Sections and subsections y Conclusion section which restates stance/main findings and makes recommendations based on those findings y Headings and subheadings y Numbering of sections

y Headings y Supporting sentences y Use of different types information: facts, quotes, expert opinions, statistics, analogies, findings from research (by student or experts)

y Linking words which link ideas between and within paragraphs y Pronouns and determiners y Phrases which refer to graphics or tables y Phrases referring the reader backward and forward in the text

Academic Essay

y Introduction with background, clear stance and outline y Thesis statement y Main body with long paragraphs y Conclusion with restatement of thesis, summary of main points and prediction / recommendation

y Topic sentence y Supporting sentences y Concluding and/or transitional sentences y Use of different types information: facts, quotes, expert opinions, statistics, analogies, findings from research (by student or experts)

y Linking words which link ideas between and within paragraphs y Pronouns and determiners y Phrases referring the reader backward and forward in the text

Academic Journal Article

y Abstract y Literature review y Methodology y Findings y Conclusions y Headings and subheadings y Numbering of sections

y Use of different types information: facts, quotes, expert opinions, statistics, analogies, findings from research (by writer and others)

y Linking words y Pronouns and determiners y Phrases referring the reader backward and forward in the text y Phrases which refer to graphics or tables


Centre for Applied English Studies, The University of Hong Kong There are two main features of a text that make it well structured and read smoothly. These

are cohesion and coherence. Read about them below.

Cohesion

These are the linguistic devices that help to make the text stick together. You are probably

familiar with most of them already but here is a reminder of the main cohesive devices.

Ellipsis (i.e. deliberately missing out words, phrases, parts of clauses that do not need to be repeated)

Lexical cohesion (i.e. having words of related or associated meaning close together in a text, e.g. transport, buses, planes, travel, arrival, speed etc.)

Linking devices (i.e. words and phrases like although, in other words, as well as; use of relative clauses etc.)

Analogy and metaphor (See Week 5, lesson 1) Reference (i.e. use of pronouns, articles, determiners etc. to refer forward, backward

or outside of the text and to signal definitions)

Repetition (i.e. the repetition of words and phrases) Substitution (i.e. replacing words or phrases with synonyms, determiners etc.) Sentence structure (i.e. writing logical and accurate sentences)

Coherence

This is how the text makes sense to the reader and usually has to do with how the bits of

information in a text are structured. As you will remember from CUE, in terms of writing

academic essays and reports this usually involves structuring the whole text (e.g.

introduction, main body, conclusion for essays) and structuring parts of the text (e.g. the use

of topic sentences or headings, the use of supporting sentences and concluding or

transitional sentences, and of having one main idea per paragraph and so forth).


Centre for Applied English Studies, The University of Hong Kong As well as this, coherence is also achieved by a logical presentation of information. Here are

some of the more common ways information can be ordered by. (Note that this structuring

of information can occur at the whole text level as well as the paragraph, sentence and

phrase level.)

analogies and metaphors cause(s) and effect(s) [Note that an effect may have multiple causes and vice versa] chronological order [Especially in biographical details, or logical chronological

sequence e.g. experiment -> result]

claim and evidence or evidence and claim or claim, counter claim and rebuttal (with evidence) comparison (for similarity) and contrast (for difference) correlations (positive / negative) or coincidence examples of a kind, category, case, incident, etc. findings / hypothesis / realisation and implications hypothesis and conditionals (i.e. if x then y) order in a process or explain / describe a process problem(s) and solution(s) / recommendation(s) reason(s) and result(s) [Note that a reason may have multiple results and vice versa]

It is important to remember that features of cohesion and coherence work together to

create a smoothly flowing text, and they cannot be separated from each other. So while it is

good to use linking devices and pronouns, they are not much use if your information is

presented illogically.


Centre for Applied English Studies, The University of Hong Kong Task 2: Noticing techniques used by popular science writers to make their writing flow more smoothly

Step 1: Pre-task reading exercise

Before you read the article, discuss these questions below:

1. When do you think humans first became truly intelligent?

2. What scientific evidence can be used to show signs of early human intelligence?

3. What do you think caused humans to become intelligent?

4. Do you think human intelligence happened quickly or evolved more slowly?

Now read the article and answer the questions above.

TITLE: Our earliest human ancestors were maybe smarter than we thought

VISUAL: Picture of a caveman looking thoughtfully at modern art in a gallery

[Several paragraphs precede this extract]

So has human intelligence as we know it today been around much longer than the

archaeological evidence seems to tell us? This remains a controversial question among

archeologists, yet it could be one that is answered not by them but evolutionary biologists

instead.

Recently discovered paintings in the Bolgnot caves near the French Alps were found to be

over 40 000 years old according to a study conducted by Christopher Gestyenot, professor

of evolutionary studies at the University of Barmyham in Madchester. What is particularly

exciting is that these paintings are almost as sophisticated in their design as later cave

paintings 15 000 years ago, he says. To Gestyenot and others like him this is proof that


Centre for Applied English Studies, The University of Hong Kong human cognition developed over a long period of time. If he is correct then this would mean

that the current theory in archaeology that a recent genetic mutation in humans led to a

sudden leap in human cognition could be wrong. The ideas of Gestyenot and other

evolutionists could also shed light on anomalies in the archaeological record that have

previously been unexplained by the sudden-leap hypothesis.

In many places around the world there have been findings of what appear to be early

examples of symbolic thought. In Turkey, lines of dots and box-like drawings made over 100

000 years ago that were once considered random have been reanalyzed and shown to have

some kind of order and pattern. One possibility is that these etchings are the works of early

human tribes staking out territory. Meanwhile in China stones that appear to have been

sculpted to resemble the human body are known to be of a similar age. This according to

the evolutionists is proof that our ancestors gradually got brighter as time went by rather

than having a sudden switching on of the lights.

Slow then fast?

For some researchers in archaeology the two theories may actually be compatible. They

hold that for a long time the human mind gradually became more developed but then a

tipping point was reached when key parts of the brain associated with higher level thinking

became connected in a very short space of time. Not so say other archeologists. At least this

is the view expressed by Dr Philip Gauld of Pennsylvania State University in his latest paper.

Dr Gaulds research[Text continues for several more paragraphs]


Centre for Applied English Studies, The University of Hong Kong Step 2: Match the comments to the annotated article

Look at the annotated article and missing comments below. Put the comment number next

to the correct annotation on the article in the box below. Comment number 7 has been

added for you as an example.

A. B. C. D. E. F. G. H. I. J.

7

(1) A question is followed immediately by an answer.

(2) A question in one paragraph is answered in later paragraphs (This question is answered

and developed on in the following paragraphs of this extract).

(3) The standard paragraph essay format is used (i.e. topic sentence, supporting sentences,

concluding sentence)

(4) The idea at the end of one paragraph is used as the starting point of the next paragraph.

This is consistently done throughout the extract. One thing to note is how elements of the

final sentence of the previous paragraph are repeated, developed or alluded to in elements

of the first sentence of the next paragraph.

(5) Part of a paragraph is structured through logical relationship (See notes on coherence

above). Here we have information structured by a conditional (ifthen) that leads into

implications.

(6) An experts opinion or finding is used to begin a new paragraph. (Remember you were

told NOT to do this in CUE essays but in popular science this is quite common.)

(7) A later paragraph returns to a point from an earlier paragraph. In this case it comments

on and combines the points discussed in the two preceding paragraphs.

(8) A paragraph questions and/or attempts to resolve the ideas of a previous paragraph.

(9) There is an outline of points that will be discussed in the paragraph.


1

2

5

6

3

4

8

9

10

Centre for Applied English Studies, The University of Hong Kong (10) Elements of the preceding sentence(s) are picked up in the next sentence or later

sentences and referred to and/or developed and/or alluded to. Notice too how one point

develops into a new point (e.g. the cave paintings are discussed become evidence for a

theory of slower evolution of the human brain). This is done consistently throughout the

whole extract.

Step 2 (continued): Answer the following questions

a. What do you notice about sentence length?

b. What do you think the subheading (Slow then fast?) is used for?

c. What do you notice about the length of paragraphs?

d. How many main points are made in each paragraph?



TITLE: Our earliest human ancestors were maybe smarter than we thought VISUAL: Picture of a caveman looking thoughtfully at modern art in a gallery [Several paragraphs precede this extract] Paragraph 1: So has human intelligence as we know it today been around much longer than the archaeological evidence seems to tell us? This remains a controversial question among archeologists, yet it could be one that is answered not by them but evolutionary biologists instead. Paragraph 2 Recently discovered paintings in the Bolgnot caves near the French Alps were found to be over 40 000 years old according to a study conducted by Christopher Gestyenot, professor of evolutionary studies at the University of Barmyham in Madchester. What is particularly exciting is that these paintings are almost as sophisticated in their design as later cave paintings 15 000 years ago, he says. To Gestyenot and others like him this is proof that human cognition developed over a long period of time. If he is correct then this would mean that the current theory in archaeology that a recent genetic mutation in humans led to a sudden leap in human cognition could be wrong. The ideas of Gestyenot and other evolutionists could also shed light on anomalies in the archaeological record that have previously been unexplained by the sudden-leap hypothesis. Paragraph 3 In many places around the world there have been findings of what appear to be early examples of symbolic thought. In Turkey, lines of dots and box-like drawings made over 100 000 years ago that were once considered random have been reanalyzed and shown to have some kind of order and pattern. One possibility is that these etchings are the works of early human tribes staking out territory. Meanwhile in China stones that appear to have been sculpted to resemble the human body are known to be of a similar age. This according to the evolutionists is proof that our ancestors gradually got brighter as time went by rather than having a sudden switching on of the lights. SUBHEADING: Slow then fast?

The title outlines the main idea and suggests an overall stance which can be hedged, inconclusive and/or strongly supportive or critical. Suggested visual supports main idea A. B. C. D. E. F. G. CAES9820 Academic English for Science Students Week 5 Lesson 2 Page 9


J.

Recently discovered paintings in the Bolgnot caves near the French Alps were found to be

over 40 000 years old according to a study conducted by Christopher Gestyenot, professor of

evolutionary studies at the University of Barmyham in Madchester. What is particularly

exciting is that these paintings are almost as sophisticated in their design as later cave

paintings 15 000 years ago, he says. To Gestyenot and others like him this is proof that

human cognition developed over a long period of time. If he is correct then this would

mean that the current theory in archaeology that a genetic mutation in humans led to a

sudden leap in human cognition could be wrong. This scenario would also shed light on

anomalies that have previously been unexplained by the sudden-leap hypothesis.

Paragraph 4 For some researchers in archaeology the two theories may actually be compatible. They hold that for a long time the human mind gradually became more developed but then a tipping point was reached when key parts of the brain associated with higher level thinking became connected in a very short space of time. Not so say other archeologists. At least this is the view expressed by Dr Philip Gauld of Pennsylvania State University in his latest paper. Paragraph 5 Dr Gaulds research[Text continues for several more paragraphs]

H. I. The idea at the end of one paragraph is used as the starting point of the next paragraph.


Centre for Applied English Studies, The University of Hong Kong Task 3: Noticing incoherence and incohesiveness

Step 1: Before you read the following extract, can you solve this scientific riddle?

How might an increase in carbon dioxide in the atmosphere actually lead to a decrease in global warming?

Do you want a hint?

It has something to do with plants.

Read the explanation at the bottom of the next page.

Do you think this hypothesis is correct? Why / Why not?

TITLE: Scientists opinions about vegetation and carbon dioxide VISUAL: A head shot photograph of Dr Donohue with no caption [Several paragraphs of text precede this extract] Paragraph 1: Satellites were used to monitor levels of vegetation on the Earth. Moreover, the Earth is getting greener. In addition, Dr Donohue believes that plants reduce the amount of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere. Besides this, global warming will be less severe than models currently predict. Not only did Randall monitor levels of carbon in the atmosphere, he also factored in levels of rainfall in his monitoring of the atmosphere. Paragraph 2: On the other hand, what is interesting in Newinghams research is that drier deserts will not produce more plant life if there is more C02 in the atmosphere. Dr Newingham did experiments in the Mojave desert in Nevada. Furthermore, she tested levels of plant growth in greenhouses with differing levels of CO2 and she works for the University of Idaho as a professor in the department of ecology. Paragraph 3: Between 1982 and 2010, the amount of vegetation in these regions increased by 11 percent according to Donohue. However, Newingham says that there is no sustained increase in biomass in her experiments while he believes that plants are becoming more abundant on Earth and this increase in the abundance of plants might be due to the increasing levels of C02 caused by humans. What is more, right wing politicians may argue that current economic models and legislation do not need to be changed. Thus we believe it is okay to use gas guzzling cars and consume more energy. [Text continues for several more paragraphs]


Centre for Applied English Studies, The University of Hong Kong Step 2: Noting features of incoherence and incohesiveness

Read the PSA extract titled Scientists opinions about vegetation and carbon dioxide in the previous slide (or in the course notes for todays lesson on the course

Moodle).

Make a list of all the problems you can find with it in terms of cohesion and coherence.1

Task 4: Rewrite an incoherent and incohesive extract (optional)

Step 1: Rewrite a poorly written extract

With a partner rewrite the previous extract from the start of the lesson about carbon

dioxide, plants and the implications for global warming.

Use the main points given below to help you as well as the details given in the original

extract. Also suggest a title and an accompanying visual as well.

The main points are:

Dr Donahues theory

More carbon dioxide leads to global warming But, more carbon dioxide leads to more plants More plants lead to less carbon dioxide Therefore this process could slow or stop global warming

Dr Newinghams findings

Experiments in greenhouses with high levels of carbon dioxide did not show an increase of plant growth with an increase of carbon dioxide

1 Since plants use carbon dioxide to grow, then more carbon dioxide in the atmosphere should lead to an

increase in plant growth. More plants will mean more carbon dioxide is taken out of the atmosphere ultimately

decreasing or even halting global warming. CAES9820 Academic English for Science Students Week 5 Lesson 2 Page 12

Centre for Applied English Studies, The University of Hong Kong Step 2: Compare your rewritten extracts

Swop your rewritten extract with another pair. Look for the following in each others

extracts and make comments:

any features of incoherence or incohesiveness discussed at the beginning of the lesson.

any strategies used by popular science writers to create coherent and cohesive texts that we looked at in Task 2.

Task 5: PSA beginnings and endings

Step 1: Look at PSA beginnings and endings

Your teacher will now hand out a class set of New Scientist magazines.

Read through several articles in the magazine focusing on how they begin and end. Make

notes of what the writer does for their beginnings and endings.

Make special note if there is a connection between the beginning and ending in a certain

article. (e.g. A PSA that began with a story ended with the same story.)

e.g.

Beginnings

a statement of the main idea or focus expressed in an attention grabbing manner.

Endings

a question or interesting thought for your reader to think about


Closing your PAS- future scenario- solution- quote from scientist on his own work- warning- possible futher improvement- link back to the beginning of the text- So yes they cant change their appearance or the way they eat, but just remember next time before you step on one: you might just beading to the pollution problem.

Centre for Applied English Studies, The University of Hong Kong Step 2: Compare your findings of PSA beginnings and endings

Compare the beginnings and endings you found with those suggested in the following suggestions below.

Did you find any beginnings or endings that are not mentioned below? Share you findings with the rest of the class.

Did you find any beginnings and endings that had some sort of connection. (e.g. A PSA that began with a story ended with the same story.) Share your findings with the

rest of the class.

Suggestions for PSA beginnings and endings Your article is not an essay and the standard essay introduction (background, main idea and outline) is rarely found in PSAs. Your introduction should really try to hook the reader so that they really want to read the article. Consider one of the following options for the beginning of your article. (Sometimes a combination of two or more of these options is used, e.g. an anecdote followed by a question followed by the main idea). Choose the option(s) that best fits your focus and makes your article read more smoothly. You can begin your article with:

an anecdote (e.g. a story about yourself, the researcher(s), an event, a recent or historical incident etc. that is directly related to the topic of your article).

a surprising fact or piece of information related to the topic you will discuss. a common question or misunderstanding about the topic your reader might have. a (rhetorical) question about the topic which you will discuss. a problem, a warning or a danger related to the topic discussed in your article. a description of something directly related to the topic (e.g. an object, a place, a

person or persons etc.). a statement of the main idea or focus expressed in an attention grabbing manner. another way - have a look at examples in PSAs on a similar topic to your article.

Once you have decided on what kind of beginning you will have, try to find several examples of this kind of beginning in a PSA and see how the writer handles it. Remember not to copy exactly what the writer does but use the basic principle and adapt it to suit your article. Your article is not an essay and the standard essay conclusion (summarise the main points, restate the main idea and give a brief discussion on future implications or recommendations) is rarely found in PSAs. Instead consider one of the following options for the ending of your article. Choose the option that best fits your focus and makes your article read more smoothly. You can end your article with: CAES9820 Academic English for Science Students Week 5 Lesson 2 Page 14


a coda (a return to, resolution of or ending of the anecdote you used at the beginning of your article)

an implication or prediction based on what you discussed in your article a solution, recommendation or resolution to a problem/danger raised in your

article a question or interesting thought for your reader to think about an opposing viewpoint or a balancing of viewpoints on the issue(s) you discussed a quote from an expert or scientist that is very interesting or raise doubts or other

questions another way (have a look at examples in PSAs on a similar topic to your article)

Once you have decided on what kind of ending you will have, try to find several examples of this kind of ending in a PSA and see how the writer handles it. Remember not to copy exactly what they do but use the basic principle and adapt it to suit your article.

Task 6: Developing your PSA outline (optional)

Step 1: Warm-up task

These are the titles from two PSAs on the same science story.

Siberian Caves Reveal Advancing Permafrost Thaw

Major methane release is almost inevitable

What do you think the story will be about? (Hint: look at the pictures and text below.)


Centre for Applied English Studies, The University of Hong Kong Step 2: Read this summary of the two stories below Professor Vaks and other geologists from Oxford university have completed a study of caves that lie under permafrost in various cold regions of the world (e.g. Siberia). They discovered that during periods in the past when the Earth was warmer than it is today, the stalagmites and stalactites in the caves formed and grew. They concluded that the stalagmites and stalactites grew because as the permafrost melted, it caused water rich in minerals to seep through the caves. By measuring the length of the rock formations the geologists could work out the date and duration of each warm period. For example, the last warm period was 400 000 years ago. The duration of this period was relatively short and stalactites and stalagmites only grew by a small amount compared to other longer warm periods. From this finding the researchers hypothesize that if the temperature on Earth reaches the same as it did during the warmer periods in the past then the permafrost will melt again. If the permafrost melts it could release trillions of tonnes of carbon and methane into the atmosphere which may cause global warming to speed up. As more carbon and methane is released so warming will increase. This feedback loop could worsen the negative effects of global warming including damage to all kinds of infrastructure built on top of permafrost. However, since global warming may lead to the melting of large areas of sea ice, new shipping routes could open up and these new routes could be economically beneficial. Currently, there are signs that large areas of permafrost are now in the process of melting. Not all geologists agree with this theory and some suggest the implications of the study have been exaggerated. However, they agree that current climate models should include the possible impacts on global warming caused by melting permafrost.


Centre for Applied English Studies, The University of Hong Kong Step 3: Comparing outlines of two PSAs

Look at the two outlines of PSAs shown below.

What differences do you notice between the two outlines? What differences in terms of focus does this make between articles 1 and 2?

POSSIBLE OUTLINE FOR ARTICLE (1)

Title: Siberian Caves Reveal Advancing Permafrost Thaw Author: David Biello Publication: Scientific American

Photograph: Scientist with helmet and headlamp looking a crystals in a cave

Para 1: Main idea - Permafrost is melting in Siberia, a study shows more could melt

Para 2: Who the researchers are (Prof. Vaks and other scientists from Oxford) and what they did, and their main discovery about the link between rock formations and increases in temperature

Paras 3 & 4: Main details of the study: what trends in past reveal about warming in the past

Para 5: Trends show Earth is warming and permafrost areas could release more carbon

Para 6: What happened during the last warming 400 000 years ago

Para 7: Current research being done on other caves and implications

Para 8: Political implications and outside researcher comment on this study

Para 9: Melting of ice in Arctic and its possible benefits for shipping but also risks for infrastructure



POSSIBLE OUTLINE FOR THE ARTICLE (2) Title: Major methane release is almost inevitable Author: Michael Marshall Publication: New Scientist

Photograph: Arial shot of flat arctic grassland with pools of water (melting permafrost area)

Paras 1, 2 & 3: Warning about massive releases of carbon as permafrost melts and how it will cause feedback loops which will speed up the process of permafrost melting according to scientists of the study

Para 4: Some background on the scientist Prof. Vaks and one of the main findings

Heading: Stalagmite Record

Paras 5, 6 & 7*: Explains the methods used by the scientists and formation of the stalagtites and stalagmites and concludes that they form during warm periods

Paras 8, 9 & 10*: Discusses the last period the rock formations grew and temperatures then how study is new data

Para 11: Difficulty of reducing present carbon emissions and warming effects

Heading Soggy permafrost

Paras 12, 13 & 14: Other researchers discuss possible consequences of melting permafrost: damage to infrastructure (e.g. roads, oil pipelines), more carbon emissions

Paras 15, 16* & 17*: Other researchers saying the implications are hyped but need to include effects of permafrost melting in climate models

*Paragraphs that are only one sentence in length


Centre for Applied English Studies, The University of Hong Kong Step 4: Developing your outline

Look at the PSA outline you did for the PSA Points of Discussion assignment.

Does the outline suggest a clear focus? (i.e. what you think your reader should know and will find interesting / important)

Show your outline to your classmate Make suggestions about each others outlines and make changes to your outline if

you feel it is necessary.

NOTES:

This activity aims to show you that unlike the essay or reports you learned about in CUE, there is no fixed outline or overall structure that you have to follow. How you

structure your popular science article will depend on what you think your reader

should know, what he or she would find interesting or important (i.e. the focus of

the article) and making the information in the article flow smoothly.

When writing your outline you do not need to specify how many paragraphs you will put for each part, but you can do so if you find it helps.

SUGGESTED OUT-OF-CLASS FOLLOW-UP ACTIVITY:

Have a look at several popular science articles (particularly those on a similar topic to yours) and make an outline of them. Note the different ways of structuring and see if

these ways would work well for your article. Note again how the focus of the article

is reflected in the outline.

Out-of-class learning for Week Five Lesson 2

Task Deadline Start writing partial draft of the popular science journal article

on receiving feedback for AB and Topic Proposal Ongoing but submit by Sunday of Reading Week (15th March)

Start SALL learning on receiving feedback SALL Learning Goals Plan

Ongoing but SALL Oral Report in Week 8/9 (please see your course schedule)


Learning OutcomesTask 1: Revision of organization & structuring in writingTable of Text TypesCohesionCoherence

Task 2: Noticing techniques used by popular science writers to make their writing flow more smoothlyStep 1: Pre-task reading exerciseArticleStep 2: Match the comments to the annotated articleStep 2 (continued): Answer the following questionsText with annotations

Task 3: Noticing incoherence and incohesivenessStep 1:ArticleStep 2: Noting features of incoherence and incohesiveness

Task 4: Rewrite an incoherent and incohesive extract (optional)Step 1: Rewrite a poorly written extractStep 2: Compare your rewritten extracts

Task 5: PSA beginnings and endingsStep 1: Look at PSA beginnings and endingsStep 2: Compare your findings of PSA beginnings and endingsSuggestions for PSA beginnings and endings

Task 6: Developing your PSA outline (optional)Step 1: Warm-up taskStep 2: Read this summary of the two stories belowStep 3: Comparing outlines of two PSAsPOSSIBLE OUTLINE FOR ARTICLE (1)POSSIBLE OUTLINE FOR THE ARTICLE (2)Step 4: Developing your outline

Out-of-class learning for Week Five Lesson 2

Documents

CAES9820 Week 5 L2 Organisation Structure PSA