Stampede Survival Guide

2016

It’s time for the city’s favourite 10-day stint of debauchery - otherwise known as The Calgary Stampede

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Game PlanLike any good soldier going into battle you need to have a conscious plan of attack. This Stampede, make sure you’ve got the Car2Go app to make getting around and parking easier, the Find My iPhone app for those slippery evenings at Cowboys, and of course the stmpdr mobile site feed up on your home screen to get the latest and greatest news on the best pancake breakfasts, loudest concerts, wildest tents, and the hottest spots to be.

Sweet Western OutfitTassels, fringe, turquoise, and flashy western wear are not just welcome, they’re encouraged. Having a great outfit will make you stand out from the crowd, make you easy to spot if you lose your people, and can be a fantastic conversation starter.

Stampede Emergency KitSwap out those Band-Aids and gauze for water, some extra strength Advil, condoms, Wet Ones, and some Tums to contend with the deep fried snacks that you’ll find throughout the grounds. This is a great way to make friends.

ToleranceThere are some things money can’t buy and this is one of them. Like training your body for a marathon, you should probably be hitting the patios throughout June in order to acquire a strong constitution for shooting Jack Daniels, drinking beer in the heat of the day, and handling white wine spritzers like a pro. If you are feeling unprepared – stay hydrated. We recommend a two-to-one strategy. Water, Jack Daniels, more water.

Phone ChargerChances are you won’t be spending much time at home or at the office. Make sure you’re packing a charger to avoid those oh-so-painful situations of carrying around a dead cell phone and missing out on capturing a good time – or worst of all, losing your friends. In an attempt to cater to cell phone users, more and more events have charging stations so it shouldn’t be hard to find a place to plug in.

Be in the KnowStay up to speed by following @datenightyyc, @stmpdr, and @brandedmag.

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all photos courtesy of The Calgary Stampede Archives

Chuck by the numbers

Here are some facts about the one of the most exciting events in the Stampede:

629 the number of horses in total that competed in the 2015 derby

27-63

the age range of the drivers competing at the 2016 GMC Rangeland Derby

43 the average age of the drivers competing in 2016

435the combined years of racing experience among the 36 drivers who will be competing in 2016

500-700

the number of chuckwagon horses that come to Stampede Park for the GMC Rangeland Derby each year

Contrary to popular belief, being a rodeo clown is no joke. While the face paint, wig, and mismatched plaid overalls might throw you off, rodeo clowns were introduced to bull riding as a means to protect thrown riders from being trampled or maimed.

In honour of this misunderstood profession, we thought we’d go over some of the quintessential skills required to be a rodeo clown. Here are a few things that you might find on their CV.

Good with people, better with animals When you’re put in a ring with 2,000 pounds of raw fury – that will far exceed your worst day in anger management training – you should probably have some understanding of how bulls work. Waving red in their face won’t do much. Many rodeo clowns are former rodeo stars who’ve spent years working alongside these giants.

A dedicated and hardworking employee who received specialized trainingFurther to point one, this isn’t a profession you just walk into. It actually takes special training, and prior rodeo circuit experience is preferred. Many rodeo clowns attend rodeo clown school (YES such a thing exists)

where students learn the art of face paint, comedy routines, and two stepping with bovines.

Someone who works well under pressureThis should be self-explanatory.

A former member of the varsity track teamWhen you have a bull charging you, it’s generally considered a good thing to be physically fit. To stay in one piece you’ll need to be quick on your feet, capable of jumping out of the way, and taking the odd hit. This is real tough guy stuff. Think Die Hard with a bolo tie.

Someone who has an engaging personality Besides risking your neck, you’re also supposed to be funny, like really funny. If the crowd isn’t entertained, you won’t last long. This is Russell Peters meets Roman gladiator kind of expectations.

Someone who excels at multi-tasking Think of it this way; working as a rodeo clown is like being an account manager where your clients depend on you in life and death situations, tensions run high all the time, and there’s no such thing as having an ‘off’ day.

Being A Rodeo Clown Is Hard Work,

And That’s No Bull.

words by Caitlin Best

WELL,HOW THIRSTYARE YA

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Sip on our signatureStampede Inspired Cocktail List featuring Alberta’s own Eau Claire Distillery’s Spirits.

Eau Claire Distillery Spirits Tasting BBQ Plate featuring Beef Ribs, Smoked Bison Brisket,

Free Range Chicken Wings + more 1 Stampede Inspired Cocktail $25 a person

Enter to win tickets to the GMC Rangeland Derby at the BBQ’s! #barcstampedeN

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BBQ’s on the patio!Saturday, July 9 & 16 | 12 to 3 p.m.

Where To Go

Knoxville’s TavernDubbing themselves, “The bar your mother warned you about,” we have a feeling this venue will be the perfect destination for your Stampede shenanigans. Looking to get Stam-pede started a little early? Check out its Stam-pede kick-off pancake breakfast on July 8th.

Nashville NorthDespite the long lines and funky smell that tends to develop as the week goes on, Nashville North remains one of the most sought after bars for those magical 10 days. With its convenient location right off the Midway, it’s the perfect place to complete a day of fun. The sticky ground is just simply part of the charm.

The Wildhorse SaloonLocated in the heart of downtown, your Stampede adventure wouldn’t be complete without a trip to Wildhorse. Daily concerts, tasty western barbecue, and a dance floor for endless two-steppin’ – what more could you need? To top it all off, Wildhorse has seven different bars, meaning your glass will always be more than half full. We’re optimists like that.

Cowboys Dancehall and TentAll year round, Cowboys is a popular spot with its convenient location next to the Dome, and the 10 days of Stampede are definitely no exception. Cue the 10,000 person pop-up tent and world-class music acts on stage. This year, expect to see the likes of Blink-182, Blue Rodeo, Thomas Rhett, Flo Rida, and Ice Cube.

The Coca-Cola StageThe Coca-Cola stage provides an opportunity to see some amazing acts free with entry to the Stampede grounds. But, fair warning – unless you plan on waiting hours before the set time, you probably won’t be front row. Fortunately this outdoor stage remains in great ear and view shot from just about anywhere near the BMO Centre. The main acts start just after 9pm, but entertainment including the annual hypnotist and talent searches, is on all day long.

Ranchman’s Cookhouse & DancehallIf you happen to find yourself in the south, head to Ranchman’s. It’s got plenty of events and activities to ensure you make the most of those 10 special days. Make sure to check out the Cowboys vs. Firefighters charity pole climb or the 17th Annual Invitational PBR Bullbustin’. It also has great limo deals, so you and your friends can start your day at Ranchman’s and then cruise to the grounds in style.

Patios to Roast on Cactus Club + Local 510 + Wurst + National (all locations) + Ship & Anchor

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Daily To-Do’s

Eau Claire Distillery Tasting at Bar C, 5-7 p.m.

Walk Off the Earth, Coca-Cola Stage, 9 p.m.

High Valley, Nashville North, 10 p.m.

Fri 8

BBQ on the patio at Bar C, 12 p.m.-3 p.m.

Coleman Hell, Coca-Cola Stage, 9 p.m.

West Mack, Nashville North, 10 p.m.

Sat 9

Milky Chance, Wildhorse Saloon, 6 p.m.

Blue Rodeo, Cowboys Stampede Tent, 7 p.m.

X Ambassadors, Coca-Cola Stage, 9 p.m.

Tebey, Nashville North, 10 p.m.

Mon 11

Blink-182, Cowboys Stampede Tent, 6 p.m.

Classified, Coca-Cola Stage, 9 p.m.

Aaron Pritchett, Nashville North, 10 p.m.

Sun 10

John Conlee, Nashville North, 12:30 p.m., 3 p.m.

Eau Claire Distillery Tasting at Bar C, 5p.m.-7 p.m.

Reuben and the Dark, Wildhorse Saloon, 6 p.m.

Thomas Rhett and Brett Kissel, Cowboys Stampede Tent, 7 p.m.

The Sheepdogs, Coca-Cola Stage, 9 p.m.

Deric Ruttan, Nashville North, 10 p.m.

Tues 12

Christian Hudson, Coca-Cola Stage, 7 p.m.

JJ Shiplett, Coca-Cola Stage, 8 p.m.

Tim Hicks, Nashville North, 8 p.m.

The Dudes, Coca-Cola Stage, 9:15 p.m.

Thurs 7

Snea

k-a-

Peek

Eau Claire Distillery Tasting at Bar C, 5 p.m.-7 p.m.

Zac Brown Band, Saddledome, 7:30 p.m.

Blackjack Billy, Wildhorse Saloon, 7 p.m.

Mother Mother, Coca-Cola Stage, 9 p.m.

Kentucky Headhunters, Nashville North, 10 p.m.

Thurs 14

Lady Antebellum, Saddledome, 7:30 p.m.

Dear Rouge, Coca-Cola Stage, 8 p.m.

The Glorious Sons, Coca-Cola Stage, 9:30 p.m.

Washboard Union, Nashville North, 10 p.m.

Fri 15

Jeff Dunham, Saddledome, 7:30 p.m.

Ice Cube & Flo Rida, Cowboys Stampede Tent, 6 p.m.

Simple Plan, Coca-Cola Stage, 9 p.m.

The Nashville North All Star Band hosted by Jason Greeley,

Nashville North, 9 p.m., 10:30 p.m.

Sun 17

BBQ on the patio at Bar C,12 p.m.-3 p.m.

Gord Bamford, Coca-Cola Stage, 9 p.m.

Jojo Mason, Nashville North, 9 p.m.

Madeline Merlo, Nashville North, 10:30 p.m.

Sat 16

MINAS’ Annual Stampede Breakfast

(with a Brazilian flare), 9 a.m.-11 a.m.

BC/DC, Wildhorse Saloon, 7 p.m.

Jocelyn Alice, Coca-Cola Stage, 8 p.m.

Shawn Hook, Coca-Cola Stage, 9 p.m.

Wed 13

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chocolate sauce and crispy bacon bits.

PB Dumbbells

Doughnuts and Nutella on an easy-to-carry stick – definitely sounds like our kind of take

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Nutella Honey Glazed Doughnuts

Of all the ways to eat our favourite cookie, this is #1. Crispy chocolate churros made with real Oreo cookie pieces and a cream

centre.

Oreo Churros

Non-alcoholic tequila-flavoured cake bites topped with icing sugar. Tequila without the

hangover? We’ll take five.

Deep Fried Tequila Shot Bites

My Diet Is RuinedAt the Midway it’s really easy to get weird and wild with food, this year is no different. Check out the creations that innovative food enthusiasts

have cooked up for us.

A dish straight out of our dreams, a combination of two of our all-time favourite foods: homemade burger patties with all the

toppings, and creamy mac and cheese.

Mac and Cheese Stuffed Burger

A hotdog in a pickle in cornbread – a truly impressive culinary feat.

Big Pickle Dog

Golden deep fried dough balls topped with cinnamon and sugar, add some Fruit Loop cereal, raspberries, and a splash of

condensed milk and voilà! A well-balanced Stampede breaky.

Saturday Morning Beaver Balls

A chocolate dipped popsicle with a crème de menthe base, a chocolate cookie inside, edible gold flakes, oh, and we can’t forget

the crickets throughout. This take on the classic grasshopper pie will have any daring

diners drooling.

Golden Grasshopper Pie Pop

Skip your morning cup of joe and grab your coffee fix in a delicious, alternative way:

deep fried and topped with caramel and Hi-malayan sea salt. Choose from five different flavours and keep your caffeine buzz going

all day long.

Salted Caramel Deep Fried Coffee

This battered and deep fried tart is taken to another level with toppings of whipped

cream and caramel drizzle.

Deep Fried Butter Tart

Infused with blueberry, strawberry, and kiwi, this treat is an intriguing twist on a classic

comfort food.

Fruit Infused Grilled Cheese

The Yummy Tommy Waffle Cone is a rich and warm Hong Kong style egg waffle. Top this puppy off with your choice of five different

kinds of hard ice cream, strawberries, sweet candies, and chocolate Pocky.

Waffle Cone

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HANG

OV

ERS

A bad Stampede hangover begins with that terrible cotton ball mouth, a twisted stomach, and utter confusion as to why you slept with your cowboy boots on. This is just the beginning. From there, you’re left to put the pieces of your night back together, or do that walk of shame back home – during which you’ll question your poor life choices.

While the obvious way to avoid this terrible moment is to add water in between each drink or to cut yourself off early, we all know this probably isn’t going to happen. So here are a few things that will make the morning after a little more pleasant.

CarbohydratesTo get your system working again, you need to rehydrate and replenish your nutrients. If your stomach is still doing somersaults, then start with something simple and filling. While crackers are always a safe option, honey sandwiches or a pancake breakfast are highly recommended as the first meal of the day.

GreaseIf you’re able to handle a bit more than toast, then head to your favourite morning haunt or pancake breakfast to load up on grease. Runny eggs, hash browns, and thick cut bacon are the nectar of the Stampede gods. If you wash this down with orange juice you should be on the mend in no time.

Dirty LemonadeDirty Lemonade, crafted with organic lemon, activated charcoal, bentonite clay, and zeolite will clean you right up and let you jump back on that horse before you know it. The clays and charcoal are known to re-mineralize your body, balance your pH levels, cleanse your liver, and eliminate toxins. Cutting to the chase, it’s the ultimate hangover cure and a Stampede 2016 essential. We suggest stocking your fridge. Visit crujuice.com for store locations and local distributors.

Tiger BalmThe pounding headache can be the worst part of a hangover. If the painkillers aren’t doing the trick then pick up a bottle of Tiger Balm and rub a small amount on your temples. The soothing and cooling effects of the herbs in this balm will bring you temporary bliss.

Anything FizzyAlka Selzer, ENO, or good old-fashioned Coca-Cola will do the trick. The bubbles will settle your stomach, the liquid will help the rehydration process, and the caffeine that comes in many soda pops will give you a gentle jolt to get moving.

Hair of the DogWhen in doubt, drink it out. A spicy Caesar, Baileys and coffee, or orange juice spiked with vodka are the cocktails of choice to get you back in the party mood.What’s your secret? Spread the word and good karma will come your way.

At eight seconds a ride, the average bucking bull will work less than two minutes in a year.

Most bulls that compete today are fifth or sixth generation bucking bulls.

The average bull rider weighs 150 lbs.

The average bucking bull can weigh in at as much as 2,000 pounds.

Top bucking bulls are worth upwards of $100,000.

Two time Calgary Stampede Bull Riding Champion JB Mauney is the highest money earning bull rider of all time. At just 29 years old, he has earned nearly $7 million.

Contrary to some beliefs, the flank strap makes no contact with a bull’s “nether region” - but rather its hip area. Almost all rodeo bulls will stop bucking once the cowboy comes off.

The 2016 Calgary Stampede is the only rodeo in the world that will match the reigning World Champion Bull Rider in the PBR against the PRCA World Champion. JB Mauney (PBR) will be competing this year as will Sage Kimzey (PRCA).

Wild Facts About Bull Riding

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“WHAT SHOULD WE DO TONIGHT?”

spiritofstampede.com spiritofstampede

Style Food Entertainment CultureCelebrate the Calgary Stampede with stories and news from a collective of yyc

creatives, cowboys & wild spirits that are exploring everything Stampede.